Return to Love
by jacks marie
Summary: John Smith,escaping from a broken marriage moves to a small town. Clara Oswald,single mum bringing up her daughter Daisy. Now together,but will they face all that life will "throw at them...?
1. Chapter 1

**RETURN TO LOVE**

**CHAPTER ****ONE**

**John Smith walked out of the railway station and hailed a taxi.**

**"Where to Gov" asked the driver.**

**"I think it is called Parkgate House on Kent Road"**

**"Oh yes, the hotel I know it hop in"**

**John looked round at the scenery as the taxi moved, its was a small town Tadchester,very quiet after London, that is what he wanted.**

**"Hoilday,is it ?"asked the driver**

**"No, said John I've come to work ,I'm the new manager"**

**"Right,you will find it very quiet here,just up from London are you?"**

**"That's,right" said John,he did not volunteer any more as it was his own business.**

**The taxi pulled up outside a small white building,it had ivy growing up the sides but looked clean and quiet.**

**John paid the taxi driver and walked up the steps into the reception. There was a girl with dark brown hair behind the desk,she looked up as John entered.**

**"Good afternoon,Sir may I help you"?**

**The badge on her lapel read CLARA OSWALD-HEAD RECEPTIONIST.**

**"I have an appointment with Mrs Drew,I'm John Smith the new manager"**

**"Hello,of course you're expected please come his way"**

**Clara came out from behind the desk and knocked on the door at the side of it.A voice called "come in" and Clara opened the door.**

**"Mrs Drew,Mr Smith as arrived"**

**"At last ,John how lovely to see you"**

**A woman of about 60 with graying hair stood up and hugged him.**

**"Clara would you be so kind as to arrange some coffee please"**

**"Certainly Mrs Drew" and smiled at John,but he just gave her an icy stare back as she shut the door.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Return to Love**

**CHAPTER TWO**

John sat in the chair facing Mrs Drew after the door had closed.

"Thanks for doing this Auntie Mary I really needed to get out of London at the moment"

"Of course,anything for my favourite nephew" smiled Mrs Drew.

"Though I think I better keep it under wraps to the staff as I don't want them to think you have played favourites hiring family as manager" smiled John.

"Oh John,what as happened to you and Sue? You seemed so happy,is there no chance of recovering what you had?"

"None what so ever "John said bitterly "Especially when I found her in bed with my best friend or should I say my ex best friend a good pair him and my soon to be ex wife."

"Oh John"said Mrs Drew as there was a knock on the door."Come in"

Clara entered with a tray and placed it on the table in front of them both.

"Thank you Clara,are you going off duty now?"

"Yes as soon as Kate arrives"

"Oh dear is she late again"

"It's alright,Mrs Drew I can hang back another half hour,I don't have to pick Daisy up until 4 today.

"Well thank you, for that, but I think I am going to have a word with that young lady about her time keeping again."

"I expect she won't be long,so I will see you tomorrow look forward to working with you Mr Smith".

"Yes,Good Night"said John looking puzzled.

As the door closed he said "Have you told them about me"

"No, only Clara she is Head Receptionist,and we only have two other girls part-time and a hallporter.

There is also three local girls who come in to clean the rooms as we are only 20,and room service has two.

We do not have an on site restaurant,there is a good one in the town we recommend guests too."

"I see"said John as he sipped his coffee."is Mrs Oswald full time?"

"Miss,though I think she would prefer Clara..sometimes she is when we are in the busy season and she doesn't have to pick Daisy up from school.

"Daisy"?

"Her little girl,she's seven,you will meet her soon as it school holidays, Clara brings her in with her sometimes"

"Oh" said John "doesn't she get under feet"

"Not at all,now if you have finished your coffee I will show your room and get you settled in.

If you come down to the office about 9am in the morning I will show you the rosters, the ordering and things.

Mrs Drew and John walked out the office and up to the lift.

"The rooms are on two floors as most of the staff live out,there is only myself and you in the staff part at the moment."

"Good evening Kate,"she said to blond haired girl who had replaced Clara at the reception desk.

"Good evening Mrs Drew"

She took John up to the 2nd floor and opened the door to room 6.

"Well this is you John,I think you will be comfortable would like to go for meal at that restaurant I mentioned?"

"I'm not really hungry"

"Well there is always room service,if you change your mind or want breakfast "

She kissed him on the cheek and said "Get some rest and I will see you in the morning"

As John shut the door,she sighed and went back downstairs to see a certain receptionist about her timekeeping.


	3. Chapter 3

**Return to Love CHAPTER 3**

As Clara walked down the road from the hotel she would be on time to pick Daisy up from school. The job at the hotel was very convenient for her as it fitted around school hours and she thanked her lucky stars that when she moved from London that she found such a perfect place as Tadchester and Mrs Drew was such a lovely employer.

Glancing at her watch she saw that there was ten minutes before the bell rang for the end of afternoon lessons and she thought about how she moved down from London when Daisy was just a year old. she found herself pregnant at eighteen,Will her boyfriend did not want to know, her dad wanted her first to have an abortion and then when Daisy was born,give her up for adoption when she would not do either he washed his hands of them both. Though it was a struggle before the job at Parkgate House came up. She knew the moment Daisy was put in her arms she had done the right thing..she was her world. Maybe it stemmed from her Mum dying when she was not much older than Daisy,but she could not understand her dad's attitude though it had made her a stronger person.

She also had thoughts of the brief meeting with John Smith just before she came off duty..there seemed something so sad about him. Mrs Drew had told her in confidence that he was her nephew,and that she had hired him to be the new manager she said that either of them did not want any of the other staff to know this,but she was sure Clara would keep it to herself,she would to as she was a very private person herself.

"Mummy,Mummy!look what I made for you"Clara had been so deep in thought that she had not heard the bell or the thunder of feet as the children came out of school.

Daisy waved a picture at her.."Its you at work at the hotel"Clara looked at the picture with pride.

"That's lovely sweetie, we will it have to put on the kitchen wall when we get home"

She took Daisy's hand as they walked down the road.

"What would you like for tea?"

"Oh,can we make a souffle?"

If you like,but we will have to call at the supermarket for some more eggs" Clara smiled that Daisy enjoyed making them to as she and her Mum had (even if they did not always turn out!)"

After they came out of the supermarket,Clara said.

"I have to work this Saturday morning, do you want to come or stay with Mrs Turner?"

"Oh ,please,can I come with you,it's no fun with Mrs Turner and she smells of cats!"

"Don't be rude,Daisy"said Clara trying to keep a straight face,was glad really because she would want paying,and Mrs Drew didn't mind as Daisy was always well behaved at the hotel,she just hoped John Smith wouldn't mind as they walked up the path to their flat..Did he even like children she wondered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 4**

The next day was Friday and even though he had not slept much,John was up early,he ordered tea and toast from room service,had met Jane who was on the early room service shift. At 8-30 he was dressed in his suit ready to go downstairs to see his Aunt. He made his way downwards in the lift.

"Good morning " his Aunt greeted him from the reception desk as the lift doors opened there was also a short man on the desk."This is Ben,he is the hall porter,but he covers the desk for an hour in the morning until Clara comes in at 9-30 when she as taken Daisy to school.

"I see,John Smith how do you do" he shook hands with Ben.

"Shall we go into the office and I'll explain things about the hotel John?just knock if you need anything,Ben,as I said Clara,will be in soon."

"Yes Mrs Drew"said Ben as John followed her in to the office and shut the door behind them.

"You look tired John,how did you sleep?

"Not very well,but I'm okay"

"Prehaps you should rest and start after the weekend"said Mrs Drew.

"I SAID I'M FINE"John shouted,he closed his eyes,in frustration "sorry to snap,I'm here to work,not to be mothered. Do you want to show me what's what?

They went through guest bookings for the next few weeks,staff roasters,ordering food for the room services and the mini bars that were in the bedrooms and had to be replaced if the guests used them.

"Well,said Mrs Drew,I think that about covers it,Clara should be in about now..She is working a full shift will explain how the booking in and out works on reception.

"Indeed,by the way,does she know all about me?l wish you hadn't told her Aunt Mary!"

"I have not told her any thing,John,other than you are my nephew she is very discreet, it is up to you what you tell her about your life or even if you tell the others, let's go and see if she is in."

When they went out into the reception Clara was typing something into the computer.

"Good morning Mrs Drew,Mr Smith,I'm just updating the bookings for this weekend it looks as though we will be full tomorrow night.

"Good,good," now I will leave you in Clara's capable hands,I have to go out for awhile."

A look of pure panic passed over John's face,at being left Mrs Drew didn't think that it was being left with Clara as such,it was John had harden his heart to all young women lately since he had split up with Sue,in so many ways he was a very shy person..perhaps Clara would be good for him.

"I will be back in a couple of hours"

"Well,Miss Oswald,perhaps you would like to show me the computer for the bookings?"

"It's Clara,do you know how to work a computer?"

"I'm not completely THICK,you know"

"Sorry, I didn't mean.."said Clara,it's just that sometimes it crashes when Ben tries to use it,usually only myself,Kate and Molly do the bookings"

"Molly?"

" The night receptionist,she works 11pm to 8am.I do 9-30-3pm and Kate 3-11pm We do swap occasionally,but I prefer the day shift because of Daisy"

"AH,YES, your daughter?"

"Thats right,oh by the way,I am working an extra shift tomorrow,as we are busy..I will be bringing Daisy in with me,I hope that is alright"

"Well,if you have already agreed that with my Aunt,I can not say anything about it" John said cooly

" She will be no trouble,she will sit in the little lounge over there and draw.I will show you the computer now"

Clara spent the next hour showing John the booking system,which he thought was simple enough,as he glanced at her sitting next to him he thought how lovely her hair and eyes were..no..no he thought.."I am not going down that road,after all she was a woman..and they were all alike...weren't they ...end of story.."


	5. Chapter 5

**Return to Love **

**Chapter 5**

**John was by himself on the reception it was about one.**

** Clara had gone to lunch..The job he could do blind fold..it was not hard..not rocket science.**

** There had only been two people booking in and one out just after Clara left and he had coped with that...no problem. He had just made himself a quick cup of coffee and a sandwich in the staff kitchen,which was to the back of the reception so that whoever was on duty could keep their eye on it,when there was a clatter and a sniff and he looked up into a pair of brown eyes that looked slightly familiar.**

**"Hello,can I help?"he smiled.**

**It was a little girl about 6 or 7 with curly blond hair pulled back into two little "pigtails"I suppose they are John thought.**

**"Is my Mummy here?"**

**She looked as though she had been crying, there was a bruise on her cheek and a bandage of sorts on her right hand.**

**"Do you mean Clara?"**

**"Please I want Mummy" as she dissolved into fresh tears.**

**"Hey,come on ..nothing is not that bad that can't be fixed"**

**He said coming round to the front of the desk to put an arm round her.**

**"She will be back from her lunch in about ten minutes.**

**Why don't you come and sit with me at the desk until then?"**

**"Oh I'm not allowed behind the desk"**

**"I think it will be okay"smiled John.**

**"I've got orange juice and JAMMY Dodgers"!**

**"I love them."**

**John led her behind the desk and sat her on the chair there,he went back into the kitchen and poured a glass of Orange and biscuits on a plate put it down in front of her.**

**"I'm Daisy Oswald"she put out her hand (her left ) and John shook it.**

**"John Smith,Have a biscuit Daisy"**

**"You're Mummy's new boss?"**

**"Yes,I suppose I am,now do you want to tell me what as happened? Has someone hurt you Daisy?"**

**"Ryan did" Daisy said quietly.**

**"He pushed me over in the playground I fell on my hand and hurt my face"**

**"Can I have a look at your hand?"**

** John put her hand into his lap,and eased back the bandage which was a handkerchief of sorts,Daisy winched but she let him look.**

**The skin had been scrapped but it had stopped bleeding.**

**"Oh that doesn't look too bad"**

**He said " I will wash the dirt out and put a nice big plaster on for you,hang on and I will get the first aid box.**

**John got the box and some water from the kitchen, bathed Daisy's hand with some cotton wool and put on the plaster.**

**"There you as new,tell me Daisy why did you not tell your teacher what happened? Why did you come to look for Mummy?"**

**Daisy started to cry again."He called me a nasty word, been tormenting me for weeks"**

**"Do you want to tell me what he said"**

**" is a bad word,you are not suppose to say it"Sobbed Daisy.**

** He keeps calling me it"**

**John put an arm round the sobbing girl and said.**

**"Do you want to whisper it to me,then only you and me can hear it?"**

**"Yes",said Daisy and whispered in John's ear so low he could just make out what she was saying.**

**"He said _said I was a bastard because I haven't got a Daddy"**

**At that moment,Clara came through the front door.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 6  
**

**"Daisy,love,what are you doing here? Are you not well? Did the school send her home?"**

**Clara directed the last part of the question to John.**

**'Now that is a point' thought John**

**No one from the school had rung the hotel in the hour that Daisy had been there,he wasn't sure if Clara had a mobile phone.**

**"Clara could l have a quiet word?" He pointed with his head.**

** " In the lounge. Daisy,would you like to look after the desk for me? You're a clever girl,I'm sure you can manage that?"**

**"Kay"**

**Clara walked over to the little lounge with John,they could still see the desk from there.**

**"What is going on,John?"**

**"Daisy turned up here an hour ago looking for you,I think she came out of school on her own."**

**" What?" Clara had gone pale.**

**"I think you have a problem"**

**" I have?"**

**"Daisy as just told me that a boy called Ryan as been bullying her for weeks and calling her nasty names,it seems to have come to a head today.**

**He pushed her over,she hurt her hand and face" **

**Clara looked over at Daisy.**

**"Don't worry it's not to bad,I sorted it"**

**"Thank you. If it's the boy I think it is,he's about ten,bigger than her,What's he been calling her?"**

**"To be blunt. A bastard,because she hasn't got a Daddy"**

**"No" She said,going even whiter.**

** Suddenly sitting down on one of the lounge chairs.**

**"The thing is Clara" **

**John looked at his watch.**

**"Its now two, no one as rung from the school,unless they have rung you?"**

**On cue,Clara's phone rang in her bag, she grabbed for it.**

**"There are no missed calls**

**"Hello_'?**

**Yes it is! Yes she is! My child has been wandering the streets of Tadchester for nearly two hours and you ring me now!"**

**She yelled down the phone.**

**"You had to search the school!?_**

**How big's the school that it takes two bloody hours to search!?"**

** (John had never heard her swear before!)**

**"Did you not realise she was was missing,let alone being bullied! I'm not happy at all Mr Taylor and I will be coming in to see you on Monday _" **

**Clara threw her phone down and promptly burst into tears.**

**Mrs Drew came back to find Clara crying on John's shoulder..he had his arms round her, looked at his Aunt over Clara's head and mouthed.**

**"I will tell you later"**


	7. Chapter 7

**Return to Love****  
**

**Chapter 7**

**By the time Kate had arrived for her shift at three,Clara had calmed down. John went in the back office with his Aunt to explain what had happened. when he told her what had occurred Mrs Drew said.**

**"Oh that poor child,really that school is out of order.**

**They both don't deserve this"**

**"Kids can be so cruel,I've only known Clara such a short time she seemed to go from anger to despair so quick,frankly I don't blame her"**

**There was a knock on the door and Clara came in.**

**"Kate is in now,so I am going to take Daisy home if that's okay?"**

**"Yes" said Mrs Drew.**

**"You have had a shock I will see you tomorrow only if you are up to it Clara"**

**"No we will both be fine after a nights sleep,sorry to have cried all over you John"**

**"That's alright**** " she turned away, he said.**

** " Clara wait, I will walk you home"**

**"There's no need,it's only down the road"**

**" No,its fine,you have both had a scare"**

**John followed Clara into the reception where Daisy was waiting.**

**"John is going to walk us home Daisy"**

** He felt a little hand slip into his.**

**"It feels better now" John thought how good that little hand felt in his.**

**Daisy chatted all the way down the road, round the corner to where the flat was.**

**"Well,this is it" said Clara as they got there.**

**"Thank you for walking us"**

**"Mummy,can John stay for tea?"**

**" Daisy. I think that John will have things to do"**

**"PLEASE!" She pleaded. Looking between the two of them.**

**"We are having chicken casserole Mummy made it before she went to work"**

**"Did she now!" smiled John.**

** "Well if Mummy doesn't mind I like that very much.I haven't had a home cooked meal,well in ages"**

**Clara,smiled.**

**"You had better come in then"**

** She opened the door.**

**"I'll just put the kettle on,Daisy why don't you take John into the lounge put the TV on. Tea or coffee?"**

**"Coffee will be lovely,thanks"**

**Clara went in to the kitchen and lit the stove,put the kettle on and then put the casserole in the oven. when it had warmed up it would stretch to three,just.**

** She waited for the kettle to boil, she shivered when she thought about what had happened today people could be so hateful,especially to a little girl..and yet she could not get over the change in John,from how he was this morning to now. **

**The kettle clicked off and she made two cups of coffee and a glass of orange squash for Daisy putting them on a tray and took them into the lounge.**

** Daisy was giggling with John as she was showed him some picture's in a photograph album that was on the coffee table.**

**"What have you got there?"**

**She said as she handed them the drinks.**

**"Thanks,you take lovely picture's Clara,these are good.**

**"Daisy's baby photos,they were taken when we lived in London"**

**"You're not from there originally are you?"**

**"No, from Blackpool" she said.**

**"We moved here when my Daddy died,didn't we Mummy?"**

**"Yes,well "said Clara closing the album and putting it away under the table "the casserole will be ready soon. Set the table please Daisy"**

**John felt Clara was hiding some thing,but didn't push it.**

**"I'll help"**

**Standing up to help Daisy.**

**Clara put place mats and cutlery on the table for them to set out,and then brought in the serving dish from the kitchen,then went back for the plates and crusty bread and butter.**

**"Sorry it's not much" she said.**

**"No,this is great.I don't eat like this everyday"**

**Clara gave him a look,as she didn't know if he was mocking her or not,she let it go and to give him his due he cleared his plate.**

**"That was great and now I will wash up" he said**

**"Your a guest" Clara said starting to stand up and clear the dishes herself.**

**"No,I insist" he took her hands and sat her down on the sofa,**

**"Sit down. You cooked,so I'll wash up!"**

**"I'll help,said Daisy clearing the table with him.**

**"I'll dry"**

**"Okay"**

**Clara was just dozing off when John's voice said.**

**"coffee"and a cup was pushed in front of her face,as her eyes opened.**

**"Thanks" she took it from him.**

**For the next two hours,they sat on the sofa with Daisy between them watching TV.**

**She wasn't even sure what was on the screen,as she kept looking at him,then moved her eyes away when he looked back.**

**What was it about this man?**

**Was she falling for him?**

**He ****had secrets she was sure as much as she did.**

**At seven she said.**

**"Time for bed Daisy"**

**"Oh Mummy_"**

**"No,come on you have had a long day today with everything that as happened,say goodnight to John and l will be in to tuck you up"**

**"Goodnight,John" she said hugging him.**

**"Thank you for looking after me today I will see you tomorrow won't I?"**

**"Course you will,goodnight Daisy" He returned the she had gone said.**

**"Well I should be going thanks for the meal,Clara I will see you tomorrow?"**

**"Yes will both be there about ten"**

**Clara showed him to the door John touched her on the cheek it was as though he wanted to kiss wanted it,so much,but_**

**At the last minute he just took her hand and said.**

**"Goodnight Clara"**

**She sighed as she shut the door behind him.**

**John walked back down the road to the hotel.**

**'Blimey'_**

**He had wanted to kiss her so badly,no he let his hurt for Sue get in the way!**

**Also their was something going on with was sure she had feelings for him as well.**

**John had caught her looking at him several times,then looking away when she thought he wasn't looking.**

**He was sure it was to do with this Daddy business of Daisy's.**

**Something had happened there,maybe he could get Clara to talk to him? Perhaps he should tell her about his broken marriage,get it out in open? By the time he had got back to the hotel,John had made up his mind to talk to Clara tomorrow.**

**He knocked on the door of his Aunts room.**

**" You're back" She said. "Is everything alright?"**

**"Fine,I stayed to tea. Daisy insisted" He smiled.**

** "I will do the early shift with Clara tomorrow"**

**"Okay,she does ten to three. Then I will take over until Kate comes in at seven. She is doing the night shift tomorrow as we are busy.**

**"Well goodnight,Aunt Mary,I will see you tomorrow"**

**He kissed her and shut the door behind him.**

**Mrs Drew thought he seemed happier,perhaps Clara was rubbing off on him.**

**Time would tell.**

**Authors note:**

**Now our two seem as though they are getting feelings for each other.**

**In the next chapter I hope to get them to talk about what as happened in their lives,and hopefully get them together, they'll be fireworks at the school on Monday over Daisy.**

**THANKS FOR READING.**


	8. Chapter 8

**RETURN TO LOVE**

**CHAPTER 8**

**DAISY'S POV  
**

**Daisy was in bed,but not asleep. Mummy had been in to tuck her in,kiss her goodnight.**

**She thought about the day today,some of it was not very nice,especially the part of falling in the playground,hurting herself.**

**The nicest part,and it really was nice was meeting John,Mummy's new boss.**

**Not like a boss really,she thought more like,well a Daddy.**

**If she could have a Daddy,Daisy would like him to be like John as she drifted off to sleep.**

**CLARA'S POV**

**After John had gone,Clara tidied up and got things ready for the next day. It wasn't often she worked on Saturday because she liked to spend the time with Daisy,it would be a welcome addition to her wages. Usually Kate and Molly worked the weekend shifts between them,with Mrs Drew's help. **

**John would be there tomorrow too,she thought of him now and even though she could not help it her heart fluttered.**

**He was so nice, seemed to get on well with Daisy.**

**Maybe she could talk to him? Tell him about what happened with Will and her Dad disowning her,not that she was ashamed of her situation.**

**It was the way it was affecting Daisy now that upset her,she would talk to John tomorrow.**

**That decided,Clara yawning, turned off the light and went to bed.**

**SATURDAY MORNING**

**JOHN'S POV **

**John decided to start his shift at eight, so he could get a head start with the check-outs before Clara and Daisy arrived at ten,Molly had just gone, his Aunt who he knew covered the two hours,was in the back office.**

**He was still determined to talk to Clara about his life before he came to Tadchester,and maybe she would confide in him as well.**

**Perhaps he could help with Daisy?**

**By nine,five people had checked out and the rooms were being cleaned ready for the new guests,there was another five too go,but as they did not have to be out until ten,John could hardly throw them out the door could he! The other rooms were ready,as they had not been full last night, three had gone by quarter to. John was ready for a cup of coffee by then.**

**"Hello,John,"**

**Clara walked into reception carrying a box followed by Daisy he smiled at them both.**

**"Hello is that cake I spy there?"**

**"Donuts, is the kettle on?"**

**"We've got jammy and chocolate ones" Daisy volunteered.**

**"That's me sorted then,what are you two having?"John said.**

**" Two day stomach ache if I ate all six"**

**laughted Clara as she walked into the kitchen to make the coffee.**

**"I got you two"**

**Clara smiled,she could hear John teasing Daisy. Putting a jam with a chocolate one on a plate for him Clara took it back into the reception area with a coffee.**

**"There you go,Daisy there is orange squash in the kitchen"**

**Smiling at her daughter.**

**"Take yours into the little lounge,then you can do your drawings"**

**"Yes,Mummy"**

**John watched as Daisy came out of the kitchen with the plate and glass of Orange squash, then settle at a table in the lounge area with a drawing pad and pencils.**

**"You won't hear a peep out of her for hours"**

**Clara said."She is always well behaved"**

**John was giving her a look she couldn't quite make out.**

**"Clara"**

**"John I"**

**They both started to talk at the same time, at that, the lift doors opened, a guest came to the desk to check out and the moment was lost.**

**By eleven, the last guest had checked out, John was knackered..**

**"It goes quiet now for about an hour or so"**

**Said Clara "I should make the most of it.**

**We should get a few check-ins before three"**

**"I'll put the kettle on" John walked into the kitchen to make more coffee and he took a glass of orange squash to Daisy who was still drawing.**

**" These are very good Daisy,can I look?"**

**"If you like" she said shyly.**

**John picked up one of the pictures, he thought that most seven year olds would draw stick people but Daisy had drawn differently,****she had drawn peoples faces and also coloured in and shaded as well.**

**"Do you like Art?" John asked.**

**" It's my favourite subject at school"**

**The phone rang and Clara answered it as John went back to the kitchen to finish making the coffee, as he put a cup in front of her she said.**

**"Daisy's dad was an artist"**

**"Oh"**

**"Yes,he was at art college when we met. I was doing a child care course,I wanted to be a Nanny"**

**"Suppose you did in your own way" he said looking across at Daisy.**

**"We had only been going out a year when I got pregnant,he didn't want to know" she continued." My Dad disowned me,said it was Daisy or him"**

**"I'm sorry"**

**"I'm not.I never ever regretted keeping her. I think it was him losing my Mum, she died when I was only seven,like Daisy.**

**I always had the feeling I disappointed him in someway. After all it a had been just him and me for so long,I did think he was perhaps jealous of her in some way" **

**She looked over at Daisy in a world of her own drawing away. **

**John thought as Clara was baring her soul to him about her former life he should tell her about his, took a breath.**

**"I came here to get away from the pain of my marriage breakup"**

**"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want too"**

** Clara knew there was something from what Mrs Drew had said,but hadn't like to pry.**

**"No,I'd like to tell you"**

**He looked at Clara.**

**"No secrets?"**

**"Kay"**

**"I met Sue four years,ago when she came to work for the Solicitors I worked for in London"**

**John looked up at Clara.**

**"I thought it the real thing,we were only married two years"**

**"So you had a high powered job?"**

**"Yes,Master's Chamber's"**

**He smiled "I so like this slow path better"**

**"Well a long story short,came home from work and found her in bed with my best friend"**

**Clara could see the pain,the hurt in John's face as he talked.**

**"What really hurt ,was her laughing, calling me predictable,a loser. I wondered how long it had been going on behind my back. Not only with Jack.I punched him and then came here to lick my wounds"**

**"I'm sorry"**

**Clara said touching him on the cheek.**

**"No one deserves that"**

**"I think that is why I was so nasty to you at first Clara,I hope you can forgive me? I hurt,but it was no excuse to take it out on you,I'm sorry"**

**He smiled at her.**

**"Not now though,it is being replaced by something nice"**

**"I wondered do you think when we finish at three,we could go to the park,take Daisy for a picnic,a late lunch?"**

**"Yes ,I think she would like that,so would I"**

**Clara smiled.**

**She wasn't sure where this was going.**

**If it only led to John being a friend she would like that.**

**A couple came through the door with suitcases,it was after twelve. The first of the guests had arrived. **

**"Calm before the storm?"said John.**

**"We could talk more later?"**

**"Yes,I'd like that" Clara said as she went to check them in.**

**Authors Note**

**Thank you for reading,our two are getting to know each other,but it is early days hoping to get John to go to the school on Monday with Clara and read them the riot act about what happened with Daisy on Friday.I am going to let them have a picnic with Daisy first and talk more. Do review and let me know what you think,or any ideas about how this story should go.**

**Thank you**


	9. Chapter 9

**Return to Love**

**CHAPTER 9**

**The picnic**

**John and Clara walked out of the hotel, with Daisy it was just after their shifts had finished and they had decided to talk to each other about what had happened to them in their lives.**

**They were going to carry on finding out more...they seemed happier in themselves.**

**"If we are going to have ****a**** picnic,"said Clara "we will have to call and pick up some food"**

**There was a little family run shop just round the corner from the hotel,so they went in bought bread,cheeses,ham,biscuits and wine with juice for Daisy**

**As she went to pay,John said.**

**"No,my turn,you paid for the donuts"**

**"Oh..but"**

**"Only fair"he picked up the bags of supplies."you will ****have to show me where this park is,Daisy I'm new and have only been here two days ****so I don't know Tadchester very well"**

**"Come on,Mummy" said Daisy pulling on her hand,"I want to have a go on the swings"**

**"Yes,come on Mummy,laughted John,"me too"**

**Clara smiled."Big kid you are,it's that way"**

**Had it only been two days since he walked into the reception and into her life.**

**She was sure that the feelings she had for him were real,did he feel the same?**

**It was a nice afternoon,quite warm. The park was a medium sized one with swings and roundabouts for the children.**

**There was also beautifully designed flower beds and seating,Daisy went and sat on one of the swing sets.**

**"Please will you push me,John?"**

**"Course"**

**Clara set up the picnic on the tables that where there for people to sit and picnic.**

**John was pushing Daisy he was then able to show her how to move**

** her legs forward and back so she could gain momentum and do it on her own. He then came and sat down on the bench next to Clara.**

**"I'm hungry,how about you?"**

**"Starving"**

**John poured the wine into the plastic cups they had bought and picked up the paper plate Clara had Put in front of him.**

**"Cheers,"he said "to our new friendship..Yes?"**

**"Yes,to friendship"Clara said quietly looking over at Daisy on the swings.**

**"Clara,I was so mean to you over the last few days, we have both been hurt by other people. I would like to get to know you better, I'm not sure if that's,what you want too,is it?**

**"Well,that would depend"she said.**

**"Oh"**

**"If that included Daisy because she is part of me,part of the package."**

**"Clara,that goes without saying"**

**John took her face in his hands and kissed her lips.**

**"In fact,would you like me to come to the school with you on Monday?As l long as you don't think I'm interfering?"**

**"No,I'd like that"**** she replied " I'll be glad of some moral support.I am not afraid of Mr Taylor,but not sure if he likes me or not,perhaps it is something to do with me being a single mum it was the impression I got when Daisy started there."**

**"He has not come on to you tried it on as he?"**

**John laughed when Clara gave him a look.**

**" Don't worry I'm not doing the jealous boyfriend already,I've met the likes of him before"**

**"Well, he did ask me out, I said no he's not my type"**

**"And,what is your type?" he teased her.**

**John leaned over the table to look into her eyes, before Clara could answer him a little voice said,**

**"Mummy,can I have a sandwich,please?"**

**"Of course,sweetie there you go,do you want some juice as well?"**

**"Yes please"**

**Clara let go of the breath she had been holding,and thought that if Daisy had not come up then,maybe John would have kissed her again?**

**The picnic eaten,she started to Pack things away to put in the rubbish on the way out."**

**"John"**

**"Hmmm"he said watching Daisy who was back on the swing.**

**"Are you working tomorrow"**

**"My Aunt insisted I have the day off,even though I have only been here for two"**

**His Aunt had been quite pleased when he said he was taking Clara and Daisy out on a picnic.**

**"Apparently Kate and Molly will work the shifts,yes?"**

**Clara said "That is usually what happens,but would you like to have Sunday dinner with Daisy and me? Or maybe you have plans with your Aunt?"**

**Her cheeks had gone slightly pinker which he thought made him love her more..He was ****going to the restaurant in town with his Aunt,he didn't mind betting she would like him to take up Clara's offer instead.**

**"No,I'm not doing anything,and would like that very much"he said though I think it's time I got you both home,it's getting late"**

**Daisy was now sat on the bench next to her mother yawning.**

**"Someone's sleepy" he said,in amusement.**

**"I'm not tired" she protested with another yawn...**

**They started to get their things together and walked towards the gates of the park,Daisy was was holding John's hand.**

**As they came up to the flats,he said**

**"I will see you both tomorrow?"**

**"About one"**

**He kissed Clara on the cheek,and touched Daisy's nose. They both went into building.**

**John went down the road to hotel and into reception.**

**Going to the desk to check the bookings he heard a voice say,**

**"Hello John"**

**He turned round and there was Sue his wife.**

**Authors Note**

**WHY as Sue turned up,what does she want? Just has things are getting good for John with Clara.**

**This woman is sneaky and it can't be something good she wants.**

**PLEASE review and I will update the next chapter for you soon.**

**Thanks for reading**


	10. Chapter 10

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 10**

**"Why are you here,Sue?"**

**"Now that's not very nice is it,thought you would be pleased to see me?"**

**She came up to him,ran ****a**** finger down his cheek. John flinched away from her.**

**"I said all I wanted to you last week" he said coldly. Folding his arms.**

** "The only thing I want now,is for you to leave me alone so I can get on with my life.**

**How did you find me?"**

**"Oh it wasn't hard. she said. **

**"Considering you've no family only your "dotty" Aunt"**

**John's eyes flashed. **

**"Don't talk about her like that!"**

**Out of the corner of his eye,he saw Aunt Mary at the door to the back office.**

**"John,would you like to talk in here privately?"**

**"That's a very good idea I think!"**

**Sue turned sharply on her heel walked into the office.**

**He followed her as his Aunt put a hand on his shoulder saying.**

**"I will make some tea" Shutting the door behind her.**

**They were alone.**

**"What do you want Sue?"**

**She turned round from the desk near where she was standing.**

**"Look lots of things got out of hand last week,the fling with Jack was a mistake,a one off.**

**"Why don't you come back and we'll give it another go?"**

**John looked flabbergasted at her for the suggestion.**

**"He's left you,hasn't he? Well don't think that I will have you back,after all I'm boring and predictable by comparison"**

**"John_"**

** she purred putting her arms around his neck **

**"Your worth ten of Jack,it was a fling that's all it was"**

**John pushed her away from him.**

**"You know my eyes have been opened in the last week"**

** Saying sarcastically.**

**"What ever did I see in you?"**

**Shaking his head.**

**" Won't Jack open his wallet after you opened your legs,is that it?"**

**Sue went to hit him across the face.**

**"How dare you!"**

**He grabbed her hand,to stop her_**

**"Oh,I dare! What ever you say to me! I'm staying here,this is my life now"**

**"You would rather stay in this dead end place than come back to a good job in London with me and the good life we have?"**

**"That's all it is too you,the job,the money " **

**He said "The bank is closed and you will be getting a letter from my solicitor about the divorce. Goodbye,Sue!"**

**"Fine,but I will take you for every penny. You don't want to make an enemy of me John!" she yelled.**

**Turning round she ran out the door,nearly knocking his Aunt over who was coming in with the tea tray.**

**"I was going to ask you if you have had a nice afternoon with Clara and Daisy"**

**Said his Aunt as she put the tray down on the table.**

**"Till she came,what a mess!" He said running his hand through his hair.**

**"I'm sorry you had to witness that Auntie Mary,but at lest now you know what kind of woman she is and its not over by a long way"**

**"Surely you can divorce her for adultery? After all she is the guilty one"**

**"Knowing Sue,she will turn this round on me somehow"**

** John said,shaking his head_**

**"Well forget about it for now,have a cup of tea and tell me how the picnic went"**

**Smiling at him.**

**"You seem to be getting on better now with Clara?"**

**"Yes,I like her,we seem to be able to talk to each other.**

**Daisy is lovely too. I'm invited for Sunday dinner tomorrow with them both,do you mind? I know I said I would go with you for a meal_ but_"**

**John looked hopefully at her.**

**Not wanting to discourage,John as it was the happiest she'd seen him since he'd arrived. Also she had a feeling about the two of them,and was keeping her fingers crossed.**

**"We could go for that meal tonight,forget about the Sue problem for now,right?"**

**"Okay,I'll just grab a jacket meet you in reception"**

**As John left the room,his,Aunt thought his soon to be ex wife was a nasty piece of work,wondered how he had ever met up with her, let alone married her.**

**Trouble was John was to kind hearted for his own good,but he was learning.**

**He had sent her away with a flea in her ear! She hoped that everything would turn out for him,especially now since his budding friendship with Clara could be what he needed.**

**She turned out the office light and went to meet John in reception.**

**Clara's Home**

**Clara was sat in her living room with Daisy,they were both curled up together on the sofa.**

**It was a ritual they had on a Saturday night.**

**Popcorn,lemonade and time together.**

**Clara thought it would be a good time to talk about what happened on Friday when Daisy came out of school on her own.**

**"Daisy,you know when you went to the hotel by yourself the other day?"**

**"Yes,Mummy,when John was there?"**

**" That's right. You should never do that. I know you were upset,someone was hurting you"**

**Clara was trying to explain.**

**"What you should have done was see one of your teachers,you know that don't you?"**

**"Yes,Mummy"_**

**Daisy was tearful.**

**"But John was there,he helped and was nice"_**

**I know,and think he is going to be a good friend to us"**

**Clara continued.**

**"He is also going to come to the school on Monday to talk to your Headmaster,as this should not have happened.**

**Now I'm not cross with you,but you must not come out of school on your own unless,I come to pick you up. Do you understand,sweetie?"**

**"Yes,Mummy,I'm sorry.I won't do it again.**

**Do you think it will be alright if John picks me up from school sometimes?"**

**"Maybe"_**

**Clara said thinking about how,good he was with Daisy.**

**If things went well,perhaps she would get the Daddy she wanted.**

**"You like him don't you?"**

**"Yes, he's coming to dinner tomorrow,that's if you don't burn it Mummy"**

**"Cheeky Madam! My cookings not that bad,he liked my chicken casserole the other night"**

**She started to tickle Daisy,life seemed so good at the moment,she hoped things would stay that way.**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**SO Sue as been and gone,but she may return.I don't think she liked John standing up to her..maybe that is the first good thing he as done yes! I have not forgot about them going into the school as Clara mentioned it,will try and get this in the next chapter if I can. Hope you are still reading and review and I will update soon.**

**Thank You.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 11**

**Sunday Dinner (Well Nearly!)**

**It was 8am Sunday morning,John had been awake since 6am.**

**Always the early riser,he supposed it was part and parcel of the job he use to do.**

**As a solicitor,his mind seemed to be one step ahead of whatever case he was working on.**

**His Aunt insisted he not work today,and as it was five hours until lunch at Clara's he ****was going mad with boredom.**

**By nine he'd had enough,got dressed and decided to go for a walk. Going through reception,said good morning to Kate who was on duty. He went to pick up the guest book from the desk as she snatched it back.**

**"No way,John your Aunt said you are not to work today,anyway it's quiet there's only five guests in"**

**"But" He stammered.**

**"No"_**

**She said holding the book to her chest,pointing at the door.**

** "Go for a walk or something"**

**John admitted defeat. Walking down the steps to the hotel looking at his watch,it wasn't even half nine!"**

**Tadchester was a quiet seaside town,not to big,not small either..somewhere in between.**

**People liked it for the peace and quiet, there was quick access to London by train or car,if needed.**

**John walked up to the sea front.**

**It was calm and was going to be a nice day,though mild for March.**

**He thought about the visit of his wife yesterday,how that she had the gall to come and try to get round him.**

**He had his eyes well and truly opened now,what a gold digger she was!**

**Did she really think that he would come back, lie down and take it? **

**Maybe the old John Smith would have done,but not now,especially as he had Clara.**

**John thought of her now,would like to take her a present,something for Daisy as well. Smiling,looking round.**

**There must be some sort of shop open somewhere,and it would make the time go quicker perhaps?**

**Walking back alone the front he came to the row of shops,some selling beach toys and other sort of gifts.**

**He could get some flowers for Clara as well,but he would like some sort of trinket for her she might like that.**

**Looking in the window of one of the shops he saw just the thing a bracelet made out of coral beads for Clara.**

**It was a simple thing,not expensive,the kind of thing that Sue would hate and call "cheap and tacky" because it was inexpensive. That was the difference between them.**

**He also found a box covered in the same sort of beads,the sort of thing to keep things in that Daisy would like.**

** John then bought flowers,wine and chocolates from the small supermarket that they had got the food from for the picnic. It was half past twelve.**

**Time had moved on because he had kept himself occupied.**

**He made his way to Clara's.**

**Because it was only a quarter to one,he walked up and down did not realise that Clara was watching him with secret amusement from the window.**

**She took pity on him went and opened the door.**

**" Don't have to wait until the dot of one. You haven't been there since yesterday have you? No different clothes.**

**Come in you daft thing!"**

**John went red at being caught out.**

**He thrust the flowers and chocolates at her.**

**"These are for you"**

**Clara with her hands full.**

**"Er.. thank you_"**

**He was so out of practice at this dating thing.**

**Was there a time when he was ever in it! **

** He remembered asking Sue out the first time.**

**Then asking her to marry him,that was because she thought she was pregnant,thought he was doing the right thing. Though that had been a false alarm.**

**He had been a mug,but not now..**

**Sue had such a forceful personality. Do it or ELSE!**

**No he wasn't going to keep thinking about her today,that problem was for later.**

**"Thank you" said Clara again.**

**"You didn't have to"**

**"Don't you like flowers. I should have asked,your not allergic are you!" John said in panic.**

**She laughed.**

**"Will you stop it,come in"**

**Putting the gifts on the table.**

**I meant you didn't have to bring anything,sit down.**

**I will get you a glass of wine,put these lovely flowers in water"**

**Clara,was amused and flattered,it had been a while since anyone had given her flowers.**

**Unless you counted Daisy,and that was for Mothers Day!**

**She pushed him into a chair.**

**"Sit_"**

**Daisy was sat at the table drawing.**

**"Hello" she said smiling at him.**

**Clara came back into the room with a glass of wine for him.**

**"Dinner will be about an hour" Putting it in his hand.**

**"Thanks"**

**Clara noticed the two parcels on the table.**

**"Look hope you don't mind,but I got you both a present"**

**Looking flushed as he handed them both a box.**

**Daisy opened hers and said.**

** "Look Mummy,isn't it lovely,oh thank you,John" she threw her arms round him.**

**He looked overwhelmed as he returned the embrace. Clara opened hers.**

**"John,it's lovely thank you,I'm not going to say you shouldn't have this time as I really love it"**

**She put it on her wrist,stood admiring it and also Daisy's box.**

**"Now that is lovely too"**

**John started to relax,it was Clara and Daisy after all.**

**As it had been for the last four days. Dam Sue,for getting him so uptight. ****The sooner he got that situation sorted the better..**

**He sipped his wine,as Daisy showed him the pictures she drawn.**

**At two,Clara asked Daisy to set the table and they sat down to dinner.**

**"Roast pork today and,no I didn't burn it"**

**John said "Have you before?"**

**"Once,madam there never lets me forget it!"**

**John looked across at Daisy she giggled at him.**

**When they had finished,as with the last time He insisted on washing up and wouldn't take no for an answer.**

**"How about a walk on the front,it's a lovely day"**

**Clara said then.**

**John groaned.**

**"I can hardly move after all those roast potatoes!"**

**"Hey! Are you calling my cooking heavy"**

**She pounted at him.**

**"I wouldn't dare"laughed John putting his hands up in protest.**

**"A walk then?"_**

**Daisy was holding his hand as they started off,but soon ran on a head.**

**Clara looked at him out of the corner of her eye,he seemed to be thinking to himself.**

**"John,is everything alright?"**

**He looked at her,could not lie to her.**

**"My wife turned up at the hotel, wanted me to come back to London with her"**

**"What did you say to that?"**

**"I told her no,my life is here now"**

**Clara's heart leapt**

**"The only thing is,she may make life difficult for me,even though she is the one in the wrong" He continued.**

**She put her hand in his.**

**"We will cross that bridge when we come to it,I will be with you if you let me?"**

**John looked at her and then kissed her on the forehead.**

**"Thank you"_**

**Daisy ran back up.**

**"Come on,John race you to the end of the pier?"**

**Racing after her,but let her win.**

**By the time they got back,it was nearly seven,time for Daisy to get ready for bed.**

**She didn't want to,but Clara said.**

**"Come on Daisy,it's school tomorrow.**

**John will come in to say good night won't you?"**

**"Yes,of course"**

**Afterwards back in the lounge sat kissing put his arms around her.**

**Thank you for today,I enjoyed myself"_**

**Clara with her head on his shoulder.**

**"So did I_ _Daisy as well"_**

**"I really should be going,but I don't want to" He whispered.**

**She turned his head towards her,kissed him back saying.**

**" Stay please_"**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**This chapter was longer than I thought,but I needed it to set the scene.**

**There is a lot more to come,will try to make my chapters as long as I can.**

**As always thanks for following and reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 12**

**Clara lay in John's arms,they had just made love.**

**She could hardly believe that she was with him.**

**When he told her earlier in the evening that his wife had asked him to return with her back to London,her heart had plummeted at the thought of losing him!**

**As he slept the tired look had gone from his face, he looked so young.**

**She was so angry at the way his wife was treating him it seemed she only wanted him for his money.**

**In some ways he was very unworldly about things,but this is what she liked,no loved about him,oh God she loved this man so much! She had only known him less than five days,but it seemed ****a**** life time and she hope it would be. Felt that he was her soul mate.!**

**It must have been about two hours later, she must have fallen asleep.**

**A little voice called out**

**"Mummy,where are you Mummy,don't feel well,Mummy" sobbed Daisy.**

**Clara got out of bed quickly,pulled on her dressing gown.**

**She hurried into bedroom putting on the lamp.**

**"What's the matter,sweetie.**

**Have you had a bad dream? Daisy sat up,vomiting all over her.**

**Clara,touched her Forehead.**

**Daisy was burning up!**

**John appeared at the bedroom door half asleep,rubbing his eyes.**

**"What's the matter?"**

**"Daisy's sick"**

**Awake now he came into the room,feeling her head.**

**"Don't panic,but I think we should call the Doctor on the safe side.**

**She is a little warmer than she should be. Go and call,I'll clean her up"**

**Clara went into the other room to phone saying over her shoulder,**

**"Clean sheets in that cupboard over there"**

**John nodded got a bowl,cleaned up the mess,changed her nightdress and the sheet on the bed.**

**"John," said Daisy in a,little voice " I feel awfully,dizzy"**

**" I know,sweetheart,but you'll be better soon Mummy's gone to ring the Doctor" He touched her cheek. **

**"Not going to be sick again are you?"**

**"No" she said.**

**"Won't be going to school today eh"**

**At least she knew it was him.**

**Clara came back into the room,**

**"Someone is going to come right away as she is a child"**

**S****he looked down at herself.**

**"Will you be okay while I get dressed?"**

**John noticed she was covered in sick.**

**"Yes,fine,I have tried to cool her down"**

**"Won't be long"**

**Clara came back within two minutes,dressed in jeans and tee shirt,he said quietly,**

**"I'd better get dressed to,as the Doctor will wonder what a half naked man is doing in your daughter's bedroom"**

**He had just pulled on his trousers when Daisy called out,his top half was naked.**

**"Yes,well,much as I like the view think you better had" **

**She went over to Daisy who had slipped back to sleep,"Do you think she is any cooler?"Feeling her forehead.**

**"Slightly,but it's better to be safe than sorry" John kissed her."Won't be long"**

**He went back in to Clara's room to get dressed.**

**He was on his way back there was a knock at the door.**

**He opened it ,there was a young woman stood there.**

**" Dr Jones,your daughter is sick?" **

**John did not explain and though it was an emergency,he found he liked people thinking that Daisy was his. **

**"Yes,it's this way"**

**Walking back into the bedroom "Clara,the Doctor's here"**

**"Hello,Dr Jones " she said to Clara,"not feeling so good are we?" to Daisy who had woken up again.**

**"No" She said miserably.**

**Clara said "she woke an hour ago and was sick"**

**"Hmm,no rash ,that's a good sign.**

**It's not meningitis,could just be a virus or chicken pox,that is doing the rounds at the schools at the moment,as she had it?"**

**"No" Clara,said.**

**"Well,if the spots,come out in a day or so you will know or not,in the meantime, I will leave a prescription for antibiotics"**

**She wrote on her pad,and handed it to John.**

**"Thank you. I will see you out"**

**After he came back he said to Clara,looking at his watch.**

**"4am,there is a night chemist in the town,I will go and get this for her"**

**"Thanks,I will put the kettle on for when you get back"**

**John grabbed his jacket and walked down the path from the flat.**

**He remembered seeing the chemist near the gift shop on the front. 'Poor Daisy' He thought.**

**As he went in to the chemist and handed in the prescription to the assistant,Clara went through his mind.**

**She was wonderful! Yes,she was definitely the one! The opposite from Sue..**

**Thinking of her now made him want her more.**

**John wanted to go back to the flat,and lock them both in the bedroom! God!.It was a while since he felt like this,not that he ever had with Sue.**

**"Daisy Oswald"**

**"Yes,Yes" He said coming back to planet earth with a bump!**

**He was handed a bottle of syrup medicine.**

**"Take 2 spoon,3 Times a day and finish the bottle,she has had this before" the assistant looking at the computer notes.**

**"Yes",he said wanting to get back to Clara and Daisy."It's my stepdaughter"**

**John liked the sound of that.**

**Walking back to the flat quickly,he found that Clara had left the door on the latch for him.**

**"Clara" He called softly.**

**"Kitchen,"she called back.**

**He found her at the table with a cup in her hand.**

**"She's asleep at the moment,I gave her junior aspirin had that before.I will give her some of that when she wakes.I'll make you a coffee"**

**She went to rise,but John put his hand on her shoulder,**

**"Sit still,I will make it.**

**You shouldn't leave the door open,l would have knocked"**

**He put a fresh cup of coffee in front of her,**

**She looked at him with those brown wide eyes,**

**"I will have to get you a key,won't I? Oh gosh John,I won't be able to go to work today,I'll have to ring the school as well"**

**"We were going to sort out about the trouble on Friday too"**

**"Stop panicking,"**

**He had her hand in his,he kissed it.**

**"I will ring my Aunt in a couple of hours so she can sort out cover for today. If we need to,I will do it"**

**"Just thought" Clara said.**

** "What if it is chicken pox,have you had it?"**

**"Yes,when I was seven,like Daisy. I lived with my Aunt,but I was staying with my friend Rory and his family in Leadworth,we both had it"**

**"Oh,I see"**

** He looked so sad that she touched his face,there was lots to find out about this man, to fix as was well.**

**Clara was looking forward to doing it.**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Hope you are still reading and liking this.**

**Poor Daisy,but there is going to be more finding out to be done. I might get John to go to the school to sort out Mr Taylor..What do you think?**

**Please review and let me know **

**Thanks for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 13**

**Chicken pox or not?**

**At seven,John rang his Aunt,always was a early riser so he thought she would be up.**

**"Hello"**

**"Auntie Mary,it's John,I'm still at Clara's.**

**Daisy is sick,so she won't be in today"**

**"Oh,poor child,how is she,is Clara all right?"**

**"Their both asleep at the moment,I made Clara go back to bed as she's not had much sleep.**

**The Doctor came and gave Daisy some medicine"**

**John rubbed his eyes he was tired himself,**

**"How will you manage today,Auntie? Do you want me to come in?"**

**"No,you stay with Clara,we'll manage,there are only five in,two tonight,so it will be quiet"**

**"Thanks,Auntie I will ring you later and let you know how things are,speak to you soon. Bye"**

**His Aunt on the other end of the phone knew that John would do anything for anyone,she was so glad that Clara had him with her.**

**In fact she was keeping her fingers crossed that they would get together.**

**She knew they were made for each other from day one,though she would not admit that to them both,not yet anyway.**

**John checked on Daisy who was still asleep,she was a lot cooler now after having a dose of the antibiotic syrup earlier.**

**There did not seem to be any sign of spots at the moment,he was not sure if that was a good or bad thing,maybe it was better to get chicken pox now as he was told it was worst for some when they were older.**

**At nine,he rang the school from a number he found on a pad in the kitchen.**

**"Good morning,Chatsford Junior school can I help you?"**

**"Good morning,my name's John Smith. I'm calling regarding my stepdaughter"**

**"Who is?"_**

**"Daisy Oswald"**

**"I see"**

**Was the reply.**

**"What can I do to help?"**

**"I am ringing to say she is ill in bed,it may be a virus or it could be the chicken pox,we're not sure yet" Said John.**

**"I am sorry"**

**The lady on the phone,who must have been the school Secretary said.**

**"But it is going through the school like wildfire at the moment,you would be better keeping her away for the rest of the week in case it is"**

**"My fiancee inteads to" Said John. "I would like an appointment to see Mr Taylor,this afternoon if possible"**

**"Could you hold the line,please"**

**He could hear muttering at the other end,and then the voice came back on**

**"Mr Smith,will two this afternoon be convenient?"**

**"Yes,I will see you then,Thank you"**

**"Fiancee?"**

**He put down the phone,turning round.**

**Clara was behind him with her arms folded, brown eyes wide!**

**"Clara_I" He stammered. **

**John decided to take the bull by the horns.**

**"Well you are going to marry me aren't you? Especially after you took advantage of me last night.I will have too get a divorce first, we'll need some where bigger to live. Have to tell my Aunt,of course"**

**Clara opened and closed her mouth,no words coming out.**

**"Clara_say something_Anything please!" He pleaded put his hands up to her face.**

**She burst into tears.**

** 'Not again' He thought.**

**"Yes,oh yes. I love you so much"**

**He put his arms around her,kissed her and kept kissing her_**

**" You don't mind me going behind your back to the school?"**

** In between kisses he was saying.**

**"No,"She sobbed into his chest,**

**"if you are going to be Daisy's Daddy you can do things like that"**

**He picked her up to carry her back into the bedroom.**

**"I'm going to let you take advantage of me all over again"**

**"Yes please"_ Clara,replied. Head on his neck.**

**John kicked the door shut_**

**Later:**

**John and Clara lay together on the bed,making plans.**

**Daisy was still asleep and they were taking it in turns to check on her.**

**"You were rambling" said Clara sleeply**

**"When_?"**

**"Before,when you were telling me about getting a divorce,your Aunt other things" **

**"Oh" He said cuddled her too him.**

**"You mean when you burst into tears?**

**Do you cry at everything?" **

**"Only when I'm happy, I wish Daisy would wake up so we could tell her"**

**Then as if on cue_**

**"Mummy!"**

**Clara,put on her dressing gown to go into her.**

** John also dressed following her in.**

**"Hello sweetie,Your looking lots better," She felt her forehead.**

**"And cooler"**

**John came in.**

**Clara noticed how Daisy's eyes lit up when she saw him.**

**He sat on the bed with the two of them,**

**"Well, you've still not got spots,pity. I was looking forward to calling you Spotty" he teased her.**

**Daisy stuck her tongue out him.**

**Clara looked at him and then at Daisy.**

**"You like John don't you,Daisy?"**

**"Yes,Mummy,why are you asking me that?"**

**Clara looked to John,taking his hand..**

**"How would you like it if we got married?"**

**Daisy screamed, threw herself at her mother, then John.**

**"OH,Yes. Yes "she said, hugging them both in turns. John laughed,she was making him giddy,but he loved it.**

**"I take it you approve then" said Clara laughing as well.**

**"Yes I'm gong to have a Daddy_Can I be a bridesmaid please?" she said in the same breath.**

**"I think We can arrange that" **

** John said. With his arms still round her.**

**He was looking forward to being her Daddy knowing how important this was for her.**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Decided to end this chapter here,but now they are going to get married,once they have sorted out the Sue problem and John as made an appointment with the Headmaster of Daisys school. I shall deal with that in the next chapter.**

**THANKS FOR READING..PLEASE REVIEW.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 14**

**We're getting married!**

**At midday,John said to Clara.****"We should both go and see Mr Taylor"**

**"l can't leave Daisy here on her own"**

**"I know"**

**They were in the kitchen,Clara sat on his knee.**

**John with his arms round this wonderful woman,he didn't want to let go of.**

**If he did,maybe last night didn't happen?**

**"My Aunt is coming to sit with her. I need my shaving gear and a clean shirt,don't think the "Raggedy look"will go down well! People will think you're marrying a tramp"**

**Clara stroked the shadow on his face.**

**"Prickly too. I'm getting razor burn"**

**"Oh,yes?" **

**Capturing her hand to kissed it.**

**Clara giggled,then went serious.**

**"John are we**** going to tell your Aunt? About us?**

**"Yes, soon as she arrives"**

**He looked at Clara. Worried.**

**"You..you haven't changed your mind,about marrying me?"**

**"Of course not. John I love you"**

**Noticing the panicked look in his eyes.**

**Only knowing him a few days,felt that he was her soul mate.**

**John had so much unhappiness in his life,**

**the last few weeks,especially with that wife of his.**

**Lots she didn't know ..yet,but she would find out_**

**"I don't break my promises..it's just_"**

**"What,Clara?"_**

**"Your Aunt,I work for her?"_**

**"So" John said in puzzlement.**

**"She might think I'm marrying you to get a home,a father for Daisy"**

**John paused then.**

**"Clara how long have you worked for my Aunt?"**

"**Five years,but what as that to do with_"**

**Clara started to say.**

**"I think" John said not letting her finish.**

**"She will be happy for us both,in fact all I've heard in the days since I got here is Clara will look after you.**

** Auntie thinks the world of you,besides don't think she would let me marry another gold digger do you?****"**

**John raised his eye brows at her. Then grinned.**

**"Hey"_**

**Clara started to tickle him..**

**Don't you be so cheeky,John Smith_"**

**"Stop it! Clara,I can't stand..."**

**John was trying to get away from her.**

**He leaned away, fell backwards from the chair,taking Clara with him to the floor.**

"**O****w!"**

**"Oh God,John are you alright?"**

**He was lay with his eyes closed,Clara thought he had hurt himself.**

**Suddenly he turned and he was on top,hands either side,Clara was underneath him.**

**"Right_ if you like tickling"**

**"Don't you dare,John_John I mean it!"**

**Clara,was wriggling to try and get away from him.**

**He moved one of his hands to her stomach_when a sleepy voice called from ****the lounge.**

**"Mummy can I have a drink...what was that bang?"_**

**"It's alright,sweetie,I'll get you one.**

**John dropped something"**

**"Yeah..Mummy"_**

**John said. Tongue in cheek.**

**Clara poked him in the ribs.**

**"Do you want to get off me then?"_**

**"_No,but suppose I'll have to if Daisy wants a drink.**

**He got up,helping Clara to her feet.**

**Saying lightly.**

**"This isn't over Clara"**

**"I don't doubt it..bed tonight,I can tickle with the best of them!"**

**"We'll see.."_**

**John with his arms folded,opened his mouth to say something else,thats when there**** was a knock on the door.**

**"That will be your Aunt,if you let her in,while I take this to Daisy?"**

**Pouring a glass of Orange from a jug out of the fridge,heading for the lounge.**

**He went to answer it. Grinning.**

**Thinking about what they had nearly got up to..if they hadn't been interrupted.**

**There was always..later.**

**Opening the door.**

**"Come in Auntie Mary"**

**"Hello John,dear..**

**She said as she followed John in to the kitchen.**

**"How's Daisy?"**

**"Better. Clara's taken her a drink.**

**She's on the sofa with the duvet and cartoons. Thanks for this,we can both talk to Daisy's head teacher"**

**Clara came in then. Smiled nervously.**

**"Hello"_**

**Clara looked at John as he took her hand.**

**"Auntie,you better sit down,we've got something to tell you"**

**"Oh"_**

**John took a breath."I've asked Clara to marry me,and she said yes"**

**She looked at them both jumped up from the chair she was sitting on.**

**"That is wonderful,I've been hoping all week you would get both get together.**

**You two are made for one another..Congratulations!"**

**She hugged them both.**

**"I know we have only known each other Six days"**

**John rambled on,as his Aunt hugged the breath out of him.**

**Six days,months,a year, what does it matter?"**

**As she let him go. ****Realising what his Aunt had said.**

**_"You did!"**

**"Yes,John love" she touched his face.**

**"Think. I'll go and shave"**

**John seemed mesmerized by it all.**

**He said as he left the room with the bag his Aunt handed him,as he went.**

**Clara giggled.**

**"He likes to ramble" Said his Aunt.**

**"Oh I know,thank you Mrs Drew"**

**"I think you can call me Auntie Mary,now we're going to be family" **

**Clara put the kettle on,and they settled at the table..**

**"Clara,as John told you about his parents?"**

**"No,we've talked about things I don't think he as hidden anything he did say,it had only been six days.**

**We both still have things to find out about each other"**

**His Aunt continued.**

**"I don't think he will mind if I tell you a little.**

**It was just before he was four.**

**Car crash on the motorway. John was in the back.**

**My sister and her husband were killed outright"**

**She paused looking at Clara.**

**"There was a not scratch on John.I don't know why,he always feels guilty about it. Sometimes I see him looking at me,it's as through he feels as he should have died as well"**

**"Surely not" Clara replied back.**

**His Aunt leaned across the table and took her hand.**

**"You can make him happy,I know you can.**

**I've seen how you are together from day one,Clara,how he is with Daisy he needs a family"**

**"He has you"**

**"Yes,but he needs more"**

**John came back into the room.**

**"Right,that's me? What?"**

**"Nothing" said Clara,"I'll just get my coat"**

**They had been talking about him that was obvious.**

**He let it go,would ask Clara later.**

**They went into Daisy and told her they were going out for a while,to the school, John's Aunt was going to sit with her.**

**"Okay,Mummy,I'll be good"**

**"I know you will" She said kissing her.**

**"I'll bring donuts back"**

**They heard Daisy say to John's Aunt as they went out the door.**

**"My Mummy's going to marry John,and I'm going to be a bridesmaid"**

**"Are you!" Auntie Mary laughed.**

**John gave Clara a look as though to say.**

**'See,everything is okay!'**

**At the school  
**

**John and Clara walked up the play ground to the school office.**

**There was a young woman sat at a desk near the door.**

**"Hello,can I help,"**

**"John Smith,we spoke on the phone,this morning? This is my fiancee Clara Oswald,we've Come to see Mr Taylor"**

**"Mr Taylor is not back yet" she said.**

**"He had to go out at twelve,but he shouldn't be long as it's gone two.**

**Can I get you a coffee?"**

**"No thanks" said John. "Clara?"**

**" No,I'm fine" she said sitting down.**

**"Excuse me" The Secretary was talking again.**

**" Just taking these files to one of the classrooms.**

**Back in a moment"**

**John sat down next to Clara.**

**"What is it with the two hour lunches.."**

**He looked at his watch.**

**"It's two fifteen"**

**"Shush, John,he's here"**

**She stood up as a thick set man came in to the room.**

**"Hello,Mr Taylor"**

**"MISS Oswald"**

**He said sharply,looking her up and down.**

**"This must be your mystery boyfriend,would you like to come into the office?"**

**John stood up, not liking the way he was looking at Clara.**

**The man walked past them,John could smell the booze on his breath.**

**Something was going on.**

**"Stay there,Clara" **

**John said,as she was about to follow him into the office with Mr Taylor.**

**"But?"_ She looked puzzled.**

**Shaking his head at her.**

**"No,do as I tell you. I'll explain later"**

**Clara sat down,he went into the office,shut the door behind him.**

**He stood watching the man slumped at his desk.**

**'Yes he was drunk. In charge of young children'**

**He thought**

**He was looking up at John.**

**"Well,where did she find you then?"**

**He slurred.**

**" I beg your Pardon!"**

**John said,voice like ice!**

**"Well evidently picked you up to make me think,she's got a boyfriend to make me jealous"**

**He stood up or tried to. He nearly fell off the chair he was sitting on.**

**"Six months I was trying to get her to go out with me!**

**What a cold hearted bitch she was,kept saying no! To fucking fridged.**

** Should be grateful someone would show an interest in her.**

**With a kid..The cow!"**

**John had heard enough.**

**He pushed him back in the chair.**

**Hovered over the man.**

**"DON'T you dare talk about her like that!"**

**Taylor moved away from him,as his eyes flashed with fire.**

**"For your information,that woman is my fiancee..**

**I have been working away in London.(John knew he was bending the truth a little but Taylor did not know that!)I was not happy to come home,find my stepdaughter,bullied,missing from school"**

**John was icely calm.**

**"Now you are going to sit there,while I go into the other room,to phone the Education office.**

**A****s far as I'm concerned,you are not fit to be in charge of young children"**

**Turning round he went out and shut the door.**

**"John,what's happening?" Clara had heard the shouting and also the Secretary had come back in.**

**"Mr Smith,What's going on?"**

**"Your Headmaster,is drunk. I want the number for your local office,because I'm not prepared to leave him in charge of young children.**

**Well,are you going to get me the number for me!?"**

**He rounded on her.**

**He felt Clara's hand in his.**

**"John,it's not her fault"**

**"Sorry,I apologise,but if you could?"**

**John sat down.**

**She got the number.**

**John spoke to Head office, who said they would send someone right away.**

**"Good" said John.**

**"****Because I'm not leaving until someone is here"**

**He put the phone down and went to look in the office.**

**Taylor was fast asleep with his head on his desk! Snoring!**

**Even the Secretary looked flabbergasted.**

**"Think We'll have that coffee now"**

**John said to her. She went to make it,Clara took his hand and kissed him.**

**"Still not sure what happened?"**

**"Not sure myself,but he is definitely drunk! We won't be able to sort out about Daisy today,but we can make appointment to see someone another time. I will not leaving him in charge of this school.**

**Clara,when he asked you out" John said.**

**"Did he strike you as. I don't know funny"**

**" He asked me a few times. I said he wasn't my type..in fact he made my skin crawl" She shivered.**

**John put an arm round her,glad he had come with her today,he thought that if he hadn't,Taylor might have done something to Clara especially with what had happened with Daisy last week.**

**A man came through the door at that moment.**

**"Mr Smith? I'm Steve Jones from the office what's this about?"**

**He looked into Taylor's office where he was now,snoring even more!**

**"What happened exactly?"**

**"We had an appointment with Mr Taylor at two.**

**He came back late from lunch late,drunk,abusive and then fell asleep..I was not prepared to leave this school in his hands.**

**I wanted to discuss my stepdaughter with him..she came home from school last Friday bullied. The school could not find her for TWO hours and did not ring my fiancee until then..luckily she was with me at my place of work but anything could have happened.I also wanted to discuss why this school doesn't have a bullying policy in place"**

**"I'm very sorry about that,and he will be suspended and escorted off the premises. I will be staying here until then.**

**Do you want to take your daughter out of class now,it's nearly home time,we quite understand.**

**"Daisy is home already,she is ill in bed,we thought she had chicken pox,but it looks like a virus" said Clara.**

**"You will be wanting to get back to her?"**

**Mr Jones said.**

**"I will be in touch Mr Smith,thank you again for what you did"**

**John and Clara went outside.**

**"God,I could do with a Brandy" John said rubbing his face.**

**Clara looked at him.**

**"...purely medicinal"_**

**"Would you settle for a kiss and a donut?"**

**"Oh yes,every time,especially the kiss"**

**John with his arm round her,as they walked home..**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Well,things keep happening to them.**

**Never expected that,did you? Got to get John divorced now,so they can get married.**

**It was a whirl wind romance,but they are made for each other,we know why wait!**

**I will update soon,so review and let me know what you think.**

**THANKS FOR READING**


	15. Chapter 15

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 15**

**It was well past 5pm when they returned to the flat.**

**John had been very quiet on the walk back. Even stopping for chocolate ****donuts****, didn't cheer him up.**

**"Sorry,we've been so long"**

**He said to his Aunt who could tell by his face he was in one of his quiet,funny moods she knew of old.**

**"Just_bathroom" he said pointing towards it.**

**As the door closed,Auntie Mary looked at Clara.**

**"Something as happened?"**

**"You could say that,I'll put the kettle on" she said.**

**"How's Daisy been?"**

**"Fine,she had some soup an hour ago then went to sleep.**

**She might wake soon.****What as happened Clara?"**

**The coffee made she was telling Auntie Mary what had occurred at the school,when they heard the bathroom door open and then the same with the bedroom door.**

**" Good,God" Mary said. "He was actually drunk!"**

**"Yes,it looked as though he had been out all dinner hour,he could hardly stand, then he passed out at his desk! John was marvellous,though"**

**Clara continued."He sorted everything out,refused to go until someone came from the office"**

**Mary looked thoughtful.**

**"I think you should talk to John,he sorts things out,especially for other people. Its the way he is,but can let things get to him"**

**She reached over the table to touch Clara'****s hand.**

**"You must not let it"**

**"I'll talk to him"**

**"Well"said Auntie Mary finishing her coffee,standing.**

** "I must get back to my hotel, I don't want to see you or John in all week.**

**Take it as holiday,with pay.**

**Get Daisy well.****Talk to John too"**

**When Clara,protested.**

**"Sweetheart,you both need_ to talk.I know you are right for each other,but you have only known John less than a,week_talk_okay?"**

**Giving her a hug,then going to the door. Clara said.**

**"Thank you,Auntie Mary,I will ring you tomorrow,let you know how he is"**

**Shuting the door,checking Daisy was still asleep,she paused at the bedroom door.**

**She knocked on the door.**

**"John?"**

** She went in,John had his back to the door sat on the bed.**

**Clara was sure he wiped his eyes, heard a sniff.**

**"Why are you knocking on your own bedroom door?" He said in amusement.**

**"Thought perhaps you want to be on your own?"**

**"Yes,I mean,no,don't know"**

**"Well,"she said,"that narrows it down"**

**She touched him on the shoulder,"Please talk to me we are a couple?"**

**At that,turning,putting his,arms round the waist,hugging her to him.**

**"Oh,Clara" then started to sob.**

** "I thought l would lose you after just finding you!"**

**"What why?"she said stroking his head.**

**"I'm here,not going anywhere"**

**"I keep thinking that,if I hadn't been there,Taylor might have hurt you or Daisy"**

**"Now that's just silly" she said.**

**" I wouldn't have let it get that far,even if I had not met you. I did.I'm glad I did"**

**She kissed the top of his head.**

**"Nothing nice seems to come my way" John continued to sob.**

**"Whether it's my parents,my marriage,everything seems to go wrong! Don't you see when anything nice happens I lose it!"**

**"Now,stop it ,John"**

**Clara shook him lightly.**

**"This is silly,come on lie down"**

**She thought ****he would protest but didn't. Laying him down on the bed,pulled the duvet over him.**

**She stroked his head as she would do with Daisy.**

**"Go to sleep"**

**John was exhausted,what with his marriage breakup,the move down to Tadchester and taking on her problems as well.**

**It's a wonder he broke after today.**

**Well,no more she was going to fix this man because she loved him.**

**She gave him a kiss on the forehead and went to see if Daisy was awake.**

**Later..**

**John woke,he felt lots better. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table 9pm.**

**He had slept for nearly four hours was hungry and dying for a coffee.**

**Using the loo,he**

** then wandered into the living room.**

**Clara was sat curled up on the sofa with Daisy.**

**"Hey" she said. "Your awake,bet your starving too!" **

**His stomach growled in protest!**

**"Funny haha" He said with his hand on it. Daisy giggled.**

**"Omelette okay?" Clara said getting up from the sofa.**

**"Great" He sat down next to Daisy.**

**"And how are you miss?"**

**"Lots better"she said."Look,no spots"**

**"That's good"**

**Clara came back in to the room with a tray which she put on his knee. On it was a ham and cheese omlette which he demolished followed by two donuts and two cups of coffee.**

**"Oh,that's better" He said.**

**"Anything else" Clara said.**

** "Think there is still some food left In the fridge"**

**She said tongue in cheek.**

**"No thanks"**

**She looked at Daisy.**

**"Time for bed"**

**When she started to protest,she said.**

**"Come on sweetie you've had a long day and you still need to rest,say goodnight to John"**

**"Night John" She kissed him.**

**"Night,Daisy,sweet dreams"**

**When she came back from taking Daisy to bed,John was still on the sofa staring at the TV.**

**He turned,looked then opened his arms to her. Snuggling into them,saying.**

**"Thank you"**

**"For what?"**

**"Giving me a kick up the backside! Getting me back where I should be,here with you,don't let me get like that again"**

**"Tough love!"she said to him"if we are going to survive and be together, John we have to talk to each other,Okay?"**

**"Yes "He paused sighing.**

**"How am I going to get my divorce sorted though? I just know that Sue is going to turn this round on to me, God,Clara"**

**John sat up suddenly.**

**"If she drags you into it look as though I'm the one who had the affair,that wouldn't be fair on you!"**

**Clara took his face in her hands,****kissed him.**

**Then,you get in first.**

**We have a week's hoilday,curtesy of 'Auntie Mary'"**

**she said,when he looked puzzled at her.**

**"She insists we take the week off,while Daisy's not been well.**

**How about going to London for few days,see a solicitor to sort it.**

**"You must have someone you worked with?" Clara said.**

**"I have someone in mind,I will make a phone call,****tomorrow" **

**Arms still round,Clara,thinking.**

**"What if we go up to London,on Wednesday,come back Friday? We could see a show stay in a hotel. Leave Daisy with Auntie Mary, I don't think she would mind. If you don't Clara?"**

**"I know it's not practical to drag her with us to see a solicitor"**

**she said."I can explain too her,whats happening.**

**We could bring her a nice present back. I will have a word with her in the morning"**

**"I will have to ring Auntie Mary as well" John mused.**

** " I don't think it will be a problem" He smiled. "Every one loves Daisy.I'm looking forward to being alone with you Clara"**

**She was on his knee now whispering in his ear. Trailing her fingers down his chest**

** "Well she's asleep now,and we can lock the door"**

**Pulling him to his feet. Then.**

**"Race you_"**

**"Clara Oswald_You wait until I get you in that bedroom.**

**Little minx_" John going after her_**

** AUTHORS ****NOTE**

**Well it wasn't chicken pox. John seems to have a few issues,which Clara is helping him work through.**

**Going to try and get the divorce sorted in the next chapter,with a trip to London.**

**Hope you are still reading and review. Please.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 16**

**Trip to London Wednesday**

**John and Clara were in the West End,they had arrived two hours ago and checked into the hotel they were staying at for the next couple of nights.**

**John had decided to take her too'The Savoy Grill' in '****Covent**** Garden' Later he was taking her to see 'Phantom of the Opera'**

**Today was for relaxing,tomorrow they had an appointment with a friend of John's. Rory who he had worked with at Master's Chamber's,hopefully he could sort the divorce out for him.**

**At the moment,Clara was talking to Auntie Mary on her mobile,she hadn't minded looking after Daisy.**

**Clara had explained to Daisy that John was married to another lady,and as he now wanted to be married to her Mummy,he had to go to a office to get a thing called a divorce.**

**She had accepted this,as she had told Clara that one of her friends in school her Mummy and Daddy had just got divorced too.**

**Clara came up to him putting her mobile back in her bag.**

**" She's fine, at the moment she in reception helping ,Kate"**

**"You might find yourself out of a job when you get back" **

**He said laughing'New Head Receptionist,****Daisy Oswald'**

**"Funny,you haha"**

**John looked at his watch,quarter to six.**

**"Are you hungry,Clara? I've booked the table for quarter past six,because the show starts at Half seven"**

**"Show?"**

**"I've booked tickets for "Phantom" thought you might like it?"**

**"Oh,yes" Clara said hugging him.**

**"We have to get up to Covent Garden first to the restaurant.**

**Come on the tubes this way"**

**They arrived at the grill on time.**

**John said to the waiter.**

**"Table in the name of Smith."**

**"Yes,Sir,Madam this,way please"**

**They were shown to a little table for two not quite near the window. There was not many in at the moment so it was quiet.**

**" John,this is lovely" Clara said as they sat down.**

**"I'm glad you approve,now what would you like to eat?"**

**They both decide to have lamb chops as they didn't have lots of time to get to the theatre,it was,served with potatoes and vegetables and was quite filling.**

**Clara only wanted coffee.**

**John ****was about to ask for the bill,when he heard a voice behind him say.**

**" Hello,John"_**

**It was Jack Harkness.**

**'Bloody Hell'_ Turning**** said.**

**"Jack"_**

**"How have you been mate?"**

**Jack held his hand out,John didn't take it. Ignoring the rebuke he said.**

**"Who's this lovely lady?" Looking at Clara.**

**"Never YOU mind" John said coldly.**

**"Its none of your business!"**

**"Come on,John,don't be like that"**

**John had stood up to pay the bill to leave.**

**He was trying to keep his temper.**

**"Do you have to chat everything up,that moves,Jack? Do you want to sleep with her as well?" pointing at Clara.**

**"****JOHN!"_**

**Clara was mortified, upset with tears in her eyes she rushed out of the restaurant.**

**"You've done it now,mate"**

**Jack stared after her with a smirk.**

**"Go to Hell! I'm not your mate,Clara,wait,please!"**

**He rushed after her,she was sat on the bench near the restaurant door,crying her eyes out.**

**"Clara,I'm sorry,it just came out. I didn't mean it! I flipped when I saw him!"**

**He tried to put his arms around her,she pushed him away.**

**"Don't John. Do you know how hurtful that was? It makes it look that I'm easy.l take it that's Jack,who slept with your wife?"**

**"Yes,but I wasn't implying you would jump into bed with him like Sue would Clara forgive me PLEASE! That was a stupid remark !"**

**He was pacing in front of her.**

**"Bloody Jack Harkness! Acting all pals together as though nothing has happened. I lost my temper thats all"**

**He sat down on the end of the bench,not touching her.**

**"Please,Clara. I don't want to lose you" There were tears in his eyes.**

**Suddenly he was on his knees in front of her with his hands in hers.**

**"I'm on bended knees Clara,I love you. I'm sorry"**

**Clara through her tears was trying not to smile.**

**"Okay,I'll forgive you ,John but you are going to have to curb your temper,especially where your wife and Jack are concerned"**

**She wiped the tears from his eyes and hugged him.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry" he whispered,hugging her back.**

**She felt him stiffen against her and looked up as a voice said.**

**"Is everything okay now?"Jack had come out of the restaurant with a blond haired lady on his arm.**

**'Another Jack conquest',Clara thought.**

**"We should have a drink before you go back"**

** Jack said.**

**Clara could feel John fuming in her arms,she held on to him.**

**"No thanks,Mr Harkness"**

**She said coldly"Besides we are going to see 'Phantom and will late,if we don't go now"**

** John stood up and brushed himself down,Jack said.**

**"No hard feelings,mate"**

**John looked him up and down.**

**"I don't care anymore! Jack.**

**Go away,your no friend of mine.**

**Come on Clara,we're going"**

**He took her hand.**

**They walked away to the tube station,Clara squeezed his hand.**

**"Well done you!"**

**"He won't be smiling soon"John said.**

**"Smarmey bastard"**

**Clara's eyes went wide,but she didn't comment.**

**"When he gets named on the divorce papers"**

**He stopped, turned to Clara, touched her face.**

**"I am sorry again,sweetheart.****I'll try and engage my brain before I open my mouth in future"**

**" Let's get to the ****theatre**** or we'll miss the start" Clara said.**

**At 10.30,they came out into Shaftsbury Ave,Clara was on a high.**

**"I really enjoyed that,thank you"**

**John kissed her hand,putting his arm around her said.**

** " You are quite welcome,how about a quick drink before we head back to the hotel?"**

**"Okay"**

**They found a pub not far from the theatre. John went to the bar while she found a table. While waiting for him to get served, she thought about what happened before with Jack.**

**It was really bad luck they had run into him and they were having such a lovely time.**

**She hadn't expected John to flip like that****,it must be all the anger from the last week coming out, he was not a violent man,but he had had lots of unhappiness in his life in the last few years to put up with.**

**It had hurt her with what he said earlier,but it was a chance remark, and he looked "so sweet" when trying to apologise. She smiled as he came back with the drinks.**

**"What!" He said as he put them on the table.**

**"Nothing "she said as she picked up her glass of wine and sipped it."Just looking forward to getting back to the hotel,tired now"**

**"Oh,yes," He said running his hand up and down her arm making her shiver.**

**"John Smith,is that all you think about sex?" she whispered putting her hand on his leg, rubbing it up and down his between his thighs.**

**"No"_**

**He squeaked. He leaned across and whispered in her ear.**

**"If you don't stop doing that, I will have to have you on the table now,how soon can you drink up?"**

**Clara finished the last of her drink in one go. **

**They only just made it back to their room at the hotel.**

**THURSDAY**

**Their appointment was for eleven,with Rory at Master's Chamber's.S****he was interested to see where John use to work,but she was worried that they would bump into Jack again.**

**" Doesn't work here any more. Works at another chambers.**

**More money less work if I know Jack"**

**Clara,heaved a sigh of relief at that.**

**They were sat in reception waiting and she was looking round with interest when a sandy short haired man came out of one of the offices.**

**"John,great to see you" he said as John stood up and shook hands with him,and hugged him.**

**"Clara,this is Rory Williams,Rory this is Clara Oswald my fiancee"**

** Rory raised an eye brow at this,but they had decided to be open and upfront about it especially as they had only known each other a week.**

**"Lovely to meet you,Clara" he said as he took her hand in his.**

**"Glad to see he as got some taste at last"**

**Pointing to John.**

**"Oi!"**

**He opened a door that was his office,**

**"if you both want to take a seat,we'll get started.**

**Would you like a coffee?"**

**"Please," John said."Clara would you like one?"**

**"Yes, please"**

**He turned and asked a woman who was on the desk in reception.**

**"Could we have three coffees please,Jayne?"**

**"Sure, Rory" She got up to make it.**

**After they were comfortable, Rory said.**

**" Right,John you told me most of what you wanted on the phone, you still want to go a head with the petition for adultery?"**

**"Yes",said John "and I want Jack named on it "**

**"Right",he said.**

**"it should be straight forward"**

**Then looking at them both.**

**"Forgive me for asking,but does Sue know about Clara?"**

**John looked at Clara.**

**"She didn't,we had not actually got together then,it was a few days later,she may do now though"**

**"Oh"**

**"Yes,"he rubbed the back of his neck.**

**"We ran into Jack while we were out for a meal last night,he might have told her"**

**"Tricky" Rory said.**

**"Look,Rory I'm not going to apologise for the way that this as happened.I know it seems quick with Clara and me"**

**He squeezed her hand.**

** " I went to my Aunts to escape from the situation at the time,I didn't go looking for love, I'm glad I found it.I need you to get me divorced from that bitch thought"**

**He said bitterly.**

**"John !" Clara said.**

**"Sorry"**

**At that moment,Jayne came in with the coffee's,then quickly left.**

**"Now"Rory continued. **

**"We can serve a petition on them both, there is then the matter of maintenance"**

**"She is not going to get a penny"**

**John stated. Arms folded.**

**"You know it doesn't work like that,John,Sue is not working at the moment,least I think she isn't,though the courts will look into that"**

**" What does she do?" Clara asked then.**

**" She's a model, she wasn't working up to last week though" John stated.**

**"Plus John" Rory went on,"she will be after your other assets,your pension from here,even though you resigned is a good one ,its frozen. There is also the money your parents left you,their life insurance,you have never touched it as you always wanted it for the future,it is building up quite some interest"**

**Clara looked bemused by it all,she knew that she loved him, but wanted to make sure that he knew she just didn't want him for his money.**

**They left Master's an hour later.**

**Rory promised to keep in touch said he would come up with his wife Amy who both knew John from Leadworth where he lived as a child.**

**Something else Clara knew she would have to find out about John.**

**Rory was going to send the petition to the court So Jack would also be named on it.**

**John had decided with Rory on what maintenance for Sue whether she would take it,time would tell.**

**Enough thinking about that,as he knew what she was like!**

**They decided to have some lunch,and then do some shopping and sightseeing.**

**He noticed that Clara was very quiet, and picking at her food.**

**"What's wrong",Clara?"**

**"Nothing,"she shook her head "Not very hungry is all" **

**She was picking her sandwich to pieces.**

**"No" He said.**

**"Something is. I know you Clara"**

**"Do you really John,you didn't know Sue very well after four years"**

**Clara's head shot up then.**

**"What makes you think you know me after a week?"**

**John looked puzzled for a moment, then he realised what she was on about.**

**" The money "**

**He said," **

**I hadn't really thought about it,especially my parent's part of it.**

**That's been in trust since I was three"**

**He looked at her in panic.**

**"You're not going to let it come between us are you?"**

**"John"**

**Clara replied.**

** "Do you think that I want you for your money,why didn't you tell me about this before we went to see Rory,this morning?"**

**"It never came up" he said.**

** "Not because I thought you would want to marry me for it.**

** I asked you to marry me before you knew I had any, didn't you?"**

**"Yes,but"**

**"But nothing"**

**He said holding her hand across the table.**

**"Your not Sue,I think that I would know a 'gold-digger' by now. "**

**Ow!.What was that for"**

**Clara had kicked him under the table. She touched him on the cheek.**

**"Do you know how much,I love you,John Smith?"**

**"Clara,you and Daisy are,my world now, and I hope you will let me prove it" He smiled at her.**

**"Now finish your lunch,we have got some shopping to do before we go home. We have got to find something nice that Daisy would like"**

**"Okay" She smiled at him. We still have half a day, can we do something else later?"**

**"What would you like,a cruise,a bus ride or what about the London Eye?"**

**"Okay" Again.**

**"What,all of them!" said John.**

**"No,silly. You pick. I like surprises"**

**"I know you do," he whispered. " I found that out last night,it's,too early for that!"**

**"John Smith !" Going pink. "Later!"**

**They ended up on the London Eye.**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Well, that's the divorce started and their returning to Tadchester now,Sue might put in another appearance.**

**Don't think she is going to be impressed when she gets the divorce papers.**

**Will Jack tell her about the meeting with John and Clara in London? Please review and I will update the next chapter SOON.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 17**

**Home Again**

**John and Clara got back to her flat.**

**It was was ****a**** note from Auntie Mary saying that the ****fridge**** was stocked up and they were to spend till Saturday evening together.**

**She would bring Daisy back then.**

**"I will just give Auntie Mary a call to let her know we're back,okay?"she said to John.**

**"Right" He said.**

**"I'll just put these in the bedroom" Taking their luggage and the bags with the presents in.**

**"Then,I'll cook"**

**"You can?"**

**"Course,not beans on toast either.**

**Proper ****cooking.l will just change my clothes and see what goodies are in the fridge"**

**He disappeared into the bedroom.**

**Clara ****picked up the phone,****dialed**** Auntie Mary's number.**

**It rang three times.**

**"Hello"**

**"Its Clara,Auntie Mary,we've just got back,thanks for stocking the fridge up for us"**

**"Your quite welcome,I think John is going to cook you a meal"**

** Clara said."How did you?_"**

**"John rang me this morning while you were still asleep"**

**She paused.**

**"He told me what happened yesterday. I think you both have talking to do,Clara.I know You love him,but have only known each other a week.I could tell you more,it's not my place,John should tell you.**

**"Yes,I know,Is Daisy alright? It's not fair that you had too look after her all this time"**

**"Clara, don't worry,she's been a joy,I've enjoyed it as well,reminded me of when John was that age its fine.**

**She's watching television at the moment she even showed me how to make a souffle" Clara grinned at that.**

**"I will return her tomorrow evening,enjoy your time with John and talk to each other"**

**"Thank you,Auntie,see you soon,bye"**

**John came back into the room as she hung up the phone.**

**"Everything okay?"**

**"Fine,"she said."You rang Auntie, this morning?"**

**"Yes," He put his arms around her,rested his chin on her head.**

**"I want to spoil you Clara,I've run you a bath and as I said,I'm going to cook you a meal"**

**He looked at her.**

**"Do you like oysters?"**

**"Never had them" she said.**

**"Don't they do something for your sex drive? Didn't think we needed it"**

**Looked up at him cheekily.**

**"You've planned this haven't you John? I love you.**

**Both of us need to talk agreed?"**

**She touched his cheek and kissed him.**

**"Yes we do" He replied.**

**"But go and have your bath first,okay? I'll even come and scrub your back!"**

**"I might hold you to that"**

**Clara kissed him again and went into the bathroom.**

**He had even lit candles on the side. She smiled,as she undressed,and slid into the warm water, relaxed and thought about John how much she loved him.**

**She wondered what he was going to tell her.**

**There was a knock on the door.**

**"Clara,sweetheart have you fallen asleep in there?"**

**"Coming" She got out of the bath and dried herself,putting on her robe,tied back her hair.**

**When she went into the other room,John had set the table for two.**

**There was a lot of banging,crashing(swearing!?)coming from the kitchen,she stood in the doorway looking highly amused. **

**Grinned at John sucking at a finger he must have burnt_hence the swearing.**

**"Are you sure you can manage?"**

**She came over tried to take his finger out of his mouth.**

** "Not use to your cooker. It's okay.****Go and sit down,relax"**

**He put a glass of wine in her hand.**

**"I'll be there in a minute and we'll talk,right?"**

**She went and sat on the sofa in the living room.**

**There was a final crash from the kitchen and then John came in with a glass in his hand,he put it on the table and then snuggled up with Clara on the sofa.**

**"It will be ready in about an hour,is that okay?"**

**"Fine is my kitchen still in one piece"**

**He pouted at her,"it not my fault you can't swing a cat round in there!"**

**"I manage, anyway,you were going to tell me about you John" She turned into his arms tell me all about John Smith"**

**" Well" he said kissing the top of her head."My parents died in a car crash when I was three. I expect my Aunt told you about that.I think she was telling you the other day before we went to the school?"**

**He looked at her to confirm this.**

**"Yes,she did,but John,why do you feel so guilty about it yes,it was tragic,but at three, it was hardly your fault"**

**"It was,my mum had just found out she was pregnant"**

**"Oh" said Clara.**

**"They were telling me,how nice it was going to be,a baby brother or sister"**

**He took a breath.**

**"And there was me in the back screaming for them to send it back.I wasn't going to share my parents with anyone.!"**

**When Dad turned round to tell me to stop my tantrum, that was when we crashed!" **

**He was shaking,started to sob.**

**"It was my fault,my fault!" Clara held him.**

**"Oh,John,course it wasn't_"**

"**If**** I hadn't been such a brat,my Dad wouldn't have taken his eyes off the road and we wouldn't have crashed."**

**"You don't know that ,John,it still might have happened"**

**"Auntie Mary must hate me,I killed her sister"**

** He sat up and looked at her."You must hate me,**

**How can you love me Clara?"**

**She pulled him into her arms as he sobbed.**

**"But I do John.I do! Please believe me,I love you,I need you,as you need me"**

**Thinking of the guilt he had been carrying round for thirty years.**

**She held him until he had calmed down.**

**She said,then.**

**"Are you going to tell me more,John?"**

**He nodded and wiped his eyes with the back hand.**

**She settled in his arms on the sofa and he carried on.**

**"When I came out of hospital,I went to live with Auntie Mary in her London flat.**

**She was working as a solicitor a good job as it happens.I played her up something awful.**

**She loved me,just didn't know what to do with me.I wouldn't eat,sleep,refused to go to school. What it was,I needed a family,still do" He admitted.**

**"In the end,she sent me home"**

**"Home?" said Clara.**

**"Yes,I was born in Leadworth,the same as Rory.**

**In fact it was his Dad who brought me up,he was a widower.**

**His Dad Brian,was great. I had Rory,Amy too,she's now his wife.**

**My Aunt paid for everything,well my parents had left me well provided for,they even left Auntie Mary money as well .Think that's how she bought the hotel and moved to Tadchester when she retired.**

**He grinned.**

**"God knows she deserved it putting up with me as a teenager.**

**We did get on better after I moved back to Leadworth.I use to stay with her in school holidays and then when I was training to be a solicitor I moved back in with her"**

**He paused and took a sip of his wine.**

**"Then we come to Sue. I was still looking for that family"**

**Clara nodded.**

**"I had just started at Master's,when we,Rory Jack and myself were having a drink to celebrate me getting the job. Sue was sat at the bar there.**

** Jack dared me to buy her a drink,which I did.**

**One thing lead to another we were going out for two years.**

**She found out she was pregnant,so I married her.**

**It was a false alarm.**

**We decided to make go of it,until the bed hopping started"**

**He shook his head.**

**Even if she had been pregnant,it might not have even been mine.**

**What a fool! Maybe I deserved it for what happened?"**

** Clara said.**

**"You are maybe to kind hearted for your own good,but you are learning,look how you dealt with Taylor the other day"**

**"What about you Clara?"**

**"You know about me,I told you on the first day"**

**"I know,but it's been seven years have you never thought of trying to contact your Dad and making it up with him"**

**She had gone quiet "Clara?"**

**"He disowned me,wanted me to give Daisy up" **

**He thought she was going to get angry about him bringing it up,but he could feel her sobbing against his chest.**

**"Clara?_"**

**"I miss him,John, want him to see how I've done. For ****him to see his Grandaughter.T****o meet you. See me get married"**

**She was really sobbing now.**

**"Tell you what,how about we go and see him on Sunday,show him?"**

**"Really_ " she said.**

**"Yes,I can meet him,and you can show him how well you and Daisy have done"**

**"Can we,oh yes PLEASE I do love you"**

**She was kissing him all over_**

**"Clara,Clara,much as I'm loving this,****perhaps**** we should eat and then we can go to bed and see if those oysters work?**

**And they did!**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Thank you all who are reading and following There a lot to come yet.**

**Least our two have talked and got to know each other more.I know it as only been a week,they are also going to see Clara's Dad,and they still have to get the divorce sorted and Sue will make her presence known in the next chapters,yes she is after John's money.**

**Please read and review.**

**THANKS**


	18. Chapter 18

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 18**

**Friday Night**

**John lay in the bed with Clara across his chest.**

**She was sleeping at the moment,though with the energy they used making love, he was not surprised that she was.**

**He would have joined her,but after the talking they had done in the last hours his mind was more active than his body was!**

**Talking to Clara had made him feel better about himself.**

**It would always be there ...the guilt about his parents,but it would be hidden under his love for her. As she had helped him,he was going to try and reconcile Clara with her Father,how hard could it be?Surely when he knew he was going make an honest woman of her he would come round?...****twiling**** a piece of Claras hair between his fingers,John fell asleep.**

**Saturday Morning**

**Something was tickling his nose and there was also a giggle. Opening an eye he groaned"Oh,not again Clara"your insatiable..you are..!"he turned over and pulled the ****duvet**** over his head.**

**She giggled at him again.**

**"Well,you won't want the tea and toast I made then?I've even washed up the mess you left in my kitchen last night"**

**His head peeped up from the duvet"Ha, well something sort of got in the way"Clara crawled under with him and started to tickle him.**

**"Oh,God no...Clara don't do that...not there! Stop it...Stop it...!Oh I surender! I surrender!"**

**Claras red face peeped out from under the duvet,**

**"Phew,it's hot under there"**

**"You could say that, you cheeky madam!"John said."Where's the tea,I need it after that!" He sat up and Clara handed him the cup.**

**After he had drunk some,he put his arm round her and said,**

**"What do you want to do today,we have until teatime before Daisys back."**

**"How about"Clara started running her hand up and down his chest.**

**"What AGAIN!"said John.**

**"No ,not that!"She tapped him on the chest.."I was going to suggest a walk"**

**"Oh" John sounded disappointed."**

**"Well,we've got time for that as well",she said pulling the duvet back over them.**

**By the time they did get up and go for a walk,it was dinnertime!**

**SATURDAY NIGHT****;**

**It was six o clock,when the door bell rang,John who had been curled up on the sofa with Clara got up to answer.**

**It was his Aunt returning Daisy.**

**She flew at him,and put her arms round him.**

**"Hello,John...have you brought me anything back?"**

**"Well let's see maybe I have...maybe I haven't,"**

**Walking into the living room,Daisy went to cuddled her mother.**

**"Did bring Mummy back though,I didn't manage to lose her.."**

**"Oi" said Clara" you couldn't lose me if you tried"**

**"Wouldn't want to"he said going over to her and kissing her. Did we bring Missy here a present back,?"he winked at Clara.**

**"Depends," she said playing along with him."Have you been good for Auntie Mary?"**

**"Yes,I did all your work ,mummy while you were away...it was lovely..I checked guests into their rooms,like you and John helped, Auntie with the housework,we made a souffle too."**

**"Told you ,she would pinch your job Clara,"John said**

**"Anyway look what we have got for a good worker"he pointed to the chair in the corner where there was an easel,with canvases and new paints. Daisy squealed with delight,and then flung herself at John.**

**"Thank you,thank you,"she said"can I do some painting now?"**

**"Tell you what" said John lets take this stuff into your room and get you set up,Auntie,we would like a word,I'll be back soon as I've done this,ok"**

**Clara went into the kitchen to make some drinks,"tea or coffee Auntie?"**

**"Coffee please"**

**"How did it go Clara,did you talk?"**

**"Yes,"said Clara "We talked a lot,he told me everything...got upset too."**

**Waiting for the kettle to boil,Clara went and sat at the table with the older woman putting her hand on hers and said,**

**"You had one lost,angry little boy on your hands didn't you?"**

**Auntie Mary with tears in her eyes said,**

**"Yes,you could say that,...and I would do it again!"**

**" He did feel guilty about what happened" said Clara,"Did he tell you what he did that day?"**

**"The tantrum he had because my sister was pregnant?"Yes,he told me,but as I've said l don't blame him...and even if he hadn't,I still think it would have happened...the crash"**

**"That's what I told him,think it will always be there for him,just not as raw"**

**John came back in then and Clara got up to make the drinks.**

**"Daisy ok"?Do you want a coffee John?"**

**"She's fine,will be busy for hours...love a coffee,thanks"**

**He went up to his Aunt, bending down putting his arms around her,**

**he knew what they had been talking about said**

**"Thank you for what you did,not only then what you are doing now..."I love you" he said tearfully.**

**"Oh,John"! was all she said as she hugged him back.**

**When he straightened she touched his face and said,**

**"All I want is for you to be happy,please be that,don't play at it.."**

**He looked at Clara who had put a coffee on the table for him.**

**"Don't think I am any more,I have found what I am looking for"**

**He sat down to drink it,he looked across at his Aunt and said**

**"Auntie,Do you think I could borrow your car tomorrow? Mine's still in London,something else I need to sort out about."**

**"Of course,You could have had it this week, instead of the you going on the train,going somewhere nice?"**

**He looked across at Clara who nodded at him,**

**"I want to take Clara and Daisy to see her Dad... Think it will be quicker than the train."**

**A voice called from the other room.**

**"Mummy,come see!"**

**"Back in a minute "Clara said,"you will stay for supper Auntie?"**

**"Of course"**

**As Clara went to see what Daisy wanted,John said to his Aunt,**

**"Clara as demons to sort too,hopefully they will be easier than mine."**

**"She should"said his Aunt"she told me when she came here five years ago,that she had fell out with her father"**

**"Did she say why?"**

**" No,and I never pushed it,wasn't my business"she countered**

**"It was because she wouldn't give up Daisy for adoption,but now we're going to get married,I'm hoping he may change his mind, if not...She still as a family here with me...us" he said**

**His Aunt reached across the table and squeezed his hand,**

**"If anyone can persuaded him,I'm sure you can John"**

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**In the next chapter they are going to see Claras Dad,and Sue will put in another appearance.**

**Thanks for Reading.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Return to Love **

**Chapter**** 19**

**Clara's**** Dad**

**They left Tadchester about 10. John had been to the hotel earlier to pick up his Aunt's car.**

**Explaining to Daisy that they were going to London to see her ****Grandad****. **

**Clara told John that she was not going to lie to her.**

**If her Dad wanted nothing to do with her or Daisy...Fine so be it,they would sort that problem then,after all she had him and his Aunt...they would have to be a family on their own.**

**Arriving at the outskirts of London an hour later,John headed for Richmond.**

**He pulled up at a nice red brick house not far from the river,John turned off the engine off and looked at Clara.**

**"Ready?"**

**Clara was biting her lip,**

**"I'm not sure if this is a good idea now"**

**John looked at her, touching her hand said.**

**"Clara you don't have to do this,but wouldn't you like to know either way?**

**Clara took a deep breath.**

**"Yes,your right...Think I would"**

**She looked over the seat at her daughter.**

**"Come on Daisy lets get out!"**

**They walked up to the front door.**

**With a glance at John, she squeezed his hand then rang the bell.**

**They waited,Clara wasn't sure which was louder,her heart beating,or the sound of footsteps coming down hall. The door opened.**

**"Hello,Dad"**

**"Clara!"**

**The man that stood in the doorway was,about 55-60 ish. He just looked at her in shock,until Clara said,**

**"Do you think we could come in?"**

**"Yes,"he seemed to recover himself and moved aside to let them come inside.**

**"Well" thought John," least the door hadn't been shut in their faces"**

**As Clara led the way into the living room,he noticed there were lots of photos of her with her Mum and Dad,some younger ones as well. On the side board and the top of the television there seemed to be lots of baby framed one's too.**

**"Do you want to sit down?"**

**Her Dad said,he seemed very calm. When they were seated said,**

**"What do you want Clara?"**

**"I wanted to see you Dad,introduce you to Daisy your Grandaughter"**

**"I thought I told you seven years ago,that I wanted nothing to do with you both"**

**"I know,but I wanted to let you know how I was that I'm still alive!"**

**She waved at him..**

**"Hello!"_**

**He flinched at that..."Don't be flippant Clara,Its not you"**

** She carried on talking.**

**"I also wanted you to meet John"**

**Saying that she stood up and took his hand,**

**"We're going to get married"**

**Her Dad's head shot up...**

**"Why,are you pregnant again? **

**The last one wouldn't marry you"**

**He looked at John.**

**"What makes you sure that this..one will?"**

**"DAD"!**

**John could see that Clara,was getting upset.**

**She had sat down on the sofa with tears in her eyes.**

**"Mr Oswald,I love Clara very much,also Daisy.****I'm not going anywhere.I've got a good job,money..They will want for nothing if that's what you are worried about. Though, I think there is more to it than that"**

**The older man looked at him.**

**"Daisy," John said holding out his hand too her.**

**"Let's go and find the kitchen make some tea,while Mummy talks to Grandad"**

**"Kay" **

**She seemed confused by it all,but taking John's hand they went out and shut the door behind them.**

**Clara looked at her Dad in silence for a second then said.**

**"Why do you hate me?"_**

**"What!,of course I don't "He replied.**

**"Then why did you disown me,make me have to give up Daisy?" She said tearful.**

**"Clara,I wanted you to happy,when you got pregnant and Will wouldn't marry you,I thought you were too young to be tied down with a baby, seems I was wrong"**

**He crossed the room to her,sat and took her hands in his.**

**"You were my baby, all that I had,especially after your Mum died"**

**He touched her face.**

**"Please forgive me,Clara I was hurtful too you I think you have proved that to me that you have been more than independent"**

**"Oh,Daddy!"**

**Clara started to cry, threw herself in his arms.**

**"I'm sorry!,I'm sorry!"**

**He rocked her in his arms. He said.**

**"Me too,baby,and I'm sorry for what I said before,about you being pregnant. I would really like to get to know him,Daisy too!" **

**He handed her a tissue.**

**"Daisy looks so like you at that age,she has,a look of your Mum has well"**

**"He's a good man,Dad, I love him very much.I have been so lonely on my own,even with Daisy until I met him."**

**They sat on the sofa together just talking.**

**MEANWHILE**

**In the kitchen John was searching the cupboards looking for cups and things to make the tea.**

**Daisy sat at the kitchen table making circles on the tablecloth with her finger.**

**"John"...**

**"Yes,"his attention was elsewhere**

**"Why don't Mummy and Grandad like each other?"**

**He turned round and looked at her.'out of the mouth of babes' He thought.**

**Putting down the jar of coffee he was holding,he went and held her too him**

**"They like each other really sweetie,just sometimes grown ups fight and fall out over,silly things,which is what happened with Mummy and Grandad"**

**"Before I was born?"**

**"Yes, that's right,but hopefully they'll have made it up by the time we take this tray in"**

**He made the tea and put it on the tray with the biscuits he found in the cupboard and a glass of milk for Daisy.**

**"Do you want to open the doors for me,love..."**

** He hope the talking had done the trick as they got to the lounge door Daisy opened it, they went in.**

**Clara came over and took the tray from him and placed it on the table in front of her and started to pour out.**

**Her Dad got up from his chair and shook his hand.**

**"John,is it?I would like to apologise to you,I realise, what a fool I've been for the last seven years,I've got a lot to make up for"**

**He looked across at Daisy,who was sat near her mother drinking her glass of milk. Clara got up then and said**

**"Just taking Daisy to the bathroom,Dad if that's alright?"**

**"Course it is,it's your house,why don't you show her your old bedroom,it's still how you left It"**

**As they went upstairs,he said said to John.**

**"I'll never forgive myself for what I nearly made her do "**

**"We all do things we regret,Mr Oswald "**

**said John smiling" But at least you have made it up with Clara now" **

**"Dave,please Don't be so formal if you are,going to be my son in law okay?"**

**He nodded.**

**"Did Clara tell you about me,that I'm separated trying to get a divorce and we have only known each other just over a week?"**

**John held his breath and waited for the fireworks! Which never came because Clara's Dad said.**

**"John ,while you were in the kitchen,she told me what as happened to you both..How you have been with her and Daisy,helping her from day one...it seems you have done more for her in this week than anyone else..especially as I wasn't there for her. Thank you"**

**"Dave,I really love her,and soon as my divorce is final, we will get married,Daisy.I feel as though she is mine..their my family"**

**" You live with your Aunt?"**

**"Yes, from this week,though we haven't made plans yet,I have to talk this over with Clara, she might not want this. We both work at the hotel,I would like us to live in.**

**There is room for expansion on the top floor.I use to be a solicitor in London, I find I don't miss it...I like this life better"**

**"Your Aunt won't mind?" Dave said."making plans like this?"**

**"No,I don't think she will,she loved Clara before "I" even met her" He laughed "She knew we were suited before we did!"**

**Clara and Daisy came back into the room then.**

**" John look what Mummy gave me if Grandad says,it's,Okay"**

**" What's that Sweetie?" **

**She showed him a book called"1001 places to see"**

**"Your Mum's book" said her Dad.**

**"Do you mind ?"said Clara.**

**"No,its yours your mum left it to you,in fact if Daisy wants to,perhaps she can come and stay here in your old room sometime,so her old Grandad can get to know her. What do you think?"**

**"Well,Daisy,would you like that?"**

**""Yes,I would" She said shyly.**

**When the time came for them to leave,Clara was upset again..now she had made it up with her Dad she didn't want to let him go!**

**John invited him to come to the hotel next week end and meet his Aunt,so that was something to look forward to.**

**They pulled away Clara waved until she could no longer see him.**

**Turning to John. "Thank You!"**

**"For what" He said puzzled.**

**"Helping me find my way back,keep thinking how,lonely I've been till I met you.**

**"Oh so I've I've I"**

**A/N**

**Thought that was a good place to leave this.**

**Clara and her Dad together again. Back at work,but there could be trouble from Sue.**

**THANKS FOR READING**

**Please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 20**

**Sunday Night**

**Clara was very quiet had been that way since returning from seeing her Dad.**

**At the moment she sat on the sofa watching the television,looking at it not really seeing it John thought. He had read Daisy a story and put her to bed,something he enjoyed doing,so Clara let him.**

**Watching her from the doorway,he went into the kitchen,Poured two glasses of wine and took them into the lounge,putting one in front of Clara said,**

**"Penny for them?"**

**"What !?" She started. Jumping.**

**"Sorry,Sweetheart...you were miles away,didn't mean to make you jump"**

**He laughed.**

**"John..I ..I " she said,then burst into tears.**

**"Hey! Come on,what's brought this on,Eh?"**

**He put the glasses down on the table at the side of her.**

**Then sat down next to her on the sofa,putting his arms round her.**

**Clara was sobbing so hard into his chest,that he couldn't make out what she was saying.**

**All he could do for now was hold her.**

**After a while he felt her shudder,then stop. She sniffed saying.**

**"I'm,sorry"**

**Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand,**

**"I've made your shirt all wet...I'll go and get you a clean one"**

**She made to rise,John pulled her back down to him.**

**"Clara,tell me,what was that was all about?"**

** Looking away from him at the ground,John put his hand under her chin to get her to look back at him.**

**"I love you," He said softly,**

**"please tell me...sweetheart"**

**Gazing at him with eye lashes still wet with tears,said.**

**"Can you really John.I'm hard to love... a bad daughter for a start"**

**John looked at her in amazement.**

**"Clara,why would you say that?,your very easy to love"**

**John looked into her eyes.**

**"Daisy loves you doesn't she?"**

**He smiled,"I've loved you from the first day I saw you...Why would you be a bad daughter?"**

**He had to ask the question.**

**Clara,pulled away from him,began pacing up and down the lounge.**

**" I got,pregnant,Wouldn't give up my baby,lost Seven years with my Dad over it!"**

**She flung her hands up in the air...**

**"Take your pick,John! What good am I?"**

**John marched across the room shaking her slightly.**

**"Now,stop it Clara,that is it! Do you hear me?If you don't stop this,I'm .." **

**He paused for affect.**

**"GOING to put you over my knee and spank you you.**

**Do hear me? How old are you.5 or 25?"**

**"You wouldn't dare...!"**

**Clara rounded on him.**

**"Oh,I would...try me!"**

**Clara looked at him, then burst in to fresh tears.**

**" Leave me alone,John!"She sobbed.**

**"...Go away..."**

**She ran from the room, he heard the bedroom door slam shut.**

**He hoped she hadn't woke Daisy.**

**'Oh,nice one,John,you handled that well!'**

**He checked on Daisy,found she had slept through the row. Back in the kitchen he made a coffee felt he needed it...**

**Sitting down at the kitchen table to drink it,he wondered what had got in to Clara.**

**She seemed happy when they returned from seeing her Dad,perhaps it was because of the time limit, of finding him.**

**More than likely Clara was the one feeling the guilt,that she should have been the one to make the first move and didn't.**

**Finishing his drink,he thought that he should go try make his peace with her,as they both had to go to work tomorrow.**

**If the bedroom door was locked,he would be sleeping on the sofa tonight!**

**Turning off all the lights,John tried the bedroom door. He didn't want to knock in case she was asleep.**

**It wasn't! Sighing with relief. Clara was asleep on her stomach on her side of the bed,so he quickly got undressed slipping into the bed.**

**As he lay there he heard a little voice say,**

**"John..."**

**"Yes?"**

**"I'm sorry"**

**"Your not going to cry again are you?"**

**"No..Yes" tearfully."I'm sorry!"**

**"Come here"**

**He opened his arms to her.**

**"I didn't mean what I said to you before,I don't like to see you upset."**

**He kissed the top of her head. **

**They lay quietly together for a while, John thought she had gone to sleep.**

**"I should have gone to look for my Dad" she said.**

**" All that time ...seven years lost,of him not knowing Daisy"**

**"Clara," he replied,**

**"I don't think your Dad would have come round any time before today he wasn't ready to let go of the past"**

**He cuddled her**

**"The thing is now to make up for the lost time,the three of you..."**

**"four"**

**"Yeah, four," he said.**

**"John,..."**

**"Hmmm.."**

**"Would you really have put me over your knee, spanked me?" He grinned at that...**

**" Might,still if you don't do as your told. Go to sleep,NOW..Good night,Clara"**

**And she did!**

**Monday AM**

**They were both at the hotel for 10,after dropping Daisy off at school.**

**There was,a temporary Headmaster there now after the trouble with Taylor last week.**

**His name was Mr Davis, though he younger seemed very good at the job.**

**Daisy was in good hands,would be kept an eye on no more bullying.**

** The boy she had had the run in with had been given a good talking too,so there should be no repeat of his behaviour. **

**It looked as though it could be a quiet day, as there would be few guests in, their shift could be a slow one.**

**Clara was updating the computer from the guests that had been in last week, the orders were up to date for the next month,so things had run smoothly while they had been away.**

**They had plenty time to talk.**

**John made them both a coffee.**

**"There you go"**

** leaning over,he kissed her.**

**"What was that for?"**

**" Because,I love you"**

**He said "I hate it when we row, want to make it up to you"**

**She smiled "But we've only had,two rows"**

**"Ah,think of the fun we can have making up though"**

**Then the phone rang, John answered it.**

**"Parkgate,Hotel,can I help you?"**

**"You bastard! Do you think your going to get away with this?"**

**"Hello to you to Sue,..."**

** Letting Clara know who it was.**

**"What do you want?"**

**"Thought you would sneak you fancy piece in behind my back did you !" **

**She screamed at him down the phone...**

**"This is nothing John,it's not even half...Jack saw you both getting cosy together. You have been carrying on behind my back too! You will regret it,John. I be telling my solicitor all this..."**

**John was trying to keep his temper,**

**"DON'T YOU DARE! Clara is nothing to do with this,I didn't meet her until we split up. You caused that.I'm NOT A BLOODY MONK!"**

**He slammed the phone down, realising, he was shaking.**

**Looked over at Clara, he said.**

**"I'm sorry...did you...**

**"Yes,I got most of what that was about."**

**She went to put her arms round him,**

**"God,WHAT a mess!" He said.**

**"Now you are going to get dragged into this,which is what I didn't want! I'm going have to ring Rory. Let him know,she is going to contest it."**

**He got up saying " I'll do it from the back office,right?Don't want everyone listening. you'll be okay for a while?"**

**"Course..."Clara said as he walked towards the office.**

**"John,I'm so glad your not a bloody monk!"**

**Grinning, he came back and kissed her "**

** I will so prove that to you tonight Clara Oswald" he whispered,before disappearing into the office.**

**Monday pm**

**It was about half an hour later that Auntie Mary came into the reception.**

**John was still in the back office.**

**"Everything alright ,Clara?"**

**"Yes and no"**

**"Oh," she looked round "Where's John?"**

**"Sorry,Auntie...didn't mean it like that, the hotel's fine, John's on the phone in the back office,Sue rang,she is going to contest the divorce, he's not very happy to have me dragged into it."**

**"She is a nasty piece of work that one.I only met her briefly.I didn't like what I saw."**

**"John is trying to sort something out with Rory,he has been in there for the last half hour"**

**She looked to the office.**

** "Do you think he's alright?"**

**Auntie Mary was just about to answer, when the door to the office opened.**

**"Right,Rory is going to get in touch with Sue solicitor, ask if she will except the London flat as part of the divorce settlement" he said.**

**"Oh,John,no !" **

**His Aunt said,"your parents left you that flat,it must be worth quite a bit now"**

**"It is,but will be worth more ****to get her off my back!"**

**"John," said Clara.**

**"Are you sure about this,don't do it just because of must be another way"**

**"I've made my mind up,it would have been sold anyway.I don't want us to live there.I can do without the money,we'll manage,don't tell Sue that or she won't do it for spite..."**

**He walked off towards reception.**

**Aunt Mary looking at Clara, shook her head,when John was in this mood,there was no changing his mind.**

**"What happens now,John"said Clara as she walked into the kitchen behind reception.**

**"Coffee?"**

**"Thanks, the other went cold that's Sue's fault as well! What happens now is she signs,we get married" He put his arms round her.**

**"Clara.."**

**"Yes"**

**"How do you feel about living here when we do?"**

**"Here?"**

**"The top floor,it can be converted into a large flat for the three of us,what do you think?I know you will have to see it before you make up your mind,but we can save up for a mortgage"**

**"John ,letting Sue,have the flat won't leave you broke will it?" Clara sounded worried.**

**"Course not,only between you and me I want to look after Auntie now as she looked after me,we could always buy a house later.**

**Do you you mind?"**

**She put her arms round John kissed him.**

**" No,I don't. I do love you John,you always,think of others,well shifts over,Kate's in" she waved to them through the door.**

**"How about we go pick Daisy up,"**

** John said,he then whispered.**

**"I can show you I'm not a monk later..."**

**"Early night?"said Clara**

**"Hmm,"said John kissing her...**

**A/N**

**Will Sue except the divorce settlement,also Clara's Dad will visit the hotel and meet Aunt Mary.**

**Thanks for review.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 21**

**Like it or lump it!**

**It was late Friday afternoon when Rory rang John to say that Sue would except the flat as part of the divorce settlement. **

**He was at home that day,because after everything that had happened...Daisy had the chicken pox!**

**" Nearly bit my hand off, mate" **

**Rory was telling him "Think this is what she was after in the first place?"**

**"Knowing Sue,Yes" He replied.**

**"How soon can you get the paper work sorted?"**

**"Take about six weeks from the ****nisi**** to when you can apply for the absolute,you must know all this John..sorry no mates rates"**

**"Yes,I know" He rubbed his hand over his face.**

**"As long as she leaves us alone,I can put up with that"_**

**"Will post you the paper work this weekend,and long as you sign to say you'll pay a monthly maintenance as well she should.**

**"You will put a clause in that if she marries again it stops or if she goes back to work"**

**John asked.**

**"Oh,done that!"**

**He countered.**

**"Not happy your letting the flat go,but that's the way you want it?"**

**"I do"_**

**"We wanted to invite you all down this weekend Amy wanted to meet Clara and Daisy.**

**The chicken pox put pay to that.**

**We can put it off for a couple of weeks okay?"**

**"That will be great"**

**"John?"_**

**Rory heard a little voice say.**

**_"Can I have a drink,please?"**

**"Got to go,she's awake,ring you Monday,should have the papers by then. Love to Amy,coming Daisy!"**

**"John Smith,Super Mum!"**

**Rory said laughing.**

**"Very funny_Mate! Bye" **

**John put down the phone,with a grin.**

**He went into the lounge.**

**The spots had come out she was feeling itchy so he had covered her in Calmaine.**

**Daisy looked very white,spotty and very sorry for herself.**

**He was also being given the run around by her,but secretly wouldn't have it any other way.**

**"Want a drink! "**

**She said sulking,when she saw him.**

**"What's the magic word?"**

**H****e said with his arms folded.**

**"Please" She countered.**

**"That's better" Walking to the kitchen to get it.**

**Turning back..**

**..."and stop scratching! You'll make them bleed!"**

**"What time will Mummy be back from work?"**

**Daisy said as he came back in with a jug of Orange squash.**

**"I'm bored!"_**

**"About half an hour"**

**He said looking at his watch.**

**"How about you read your book,or watch the cartoons?"**

**Putting the television on.**

**"Want to go out" sulking more.**

**"Daisy, you can't! your still infectious..look Grandad coming to see you tomorrow,that'll be good won't it?"**

**"What if he gets it too,the chicken pox"**

**"He won't" said John. **

**"Had it like Mummy and me.**

**I'm just going to put the casserole in.**

**Mummy will be hungry when she gets back from work,she'll want her tea"**

**"Okay" Daisy said.**

**"Will watch cartoons then"**

**"Good girl,call me if you want anything"**

**He escaped to the kitchen.**

**"Blimey!"**

**John thought_**

**'a session in court is easier than this!'**

**Making a quick coffee put the casserole in the oven,and turned the washing machine on. Clara came though the door just then.**

**"Hello,you"**

**she said,arms round him, kissing him.**

**"I missed you today"**

**"I missed you too"**

** as he kissed her back.**

**" John are you sure you don't mind being home with Daisy? She can be very fractious when she's sick"**

**"Don't I know it" He said tongue in cheek.**

**"You do mind!" She said.**

**"Clara" He said laughing.**

**"I'm joking"**

**kissing her on the forehead.**

**"You're very easy to tease. I'm enjoying it really,the only thing I miss is going to work with you every day"**

**"Mummy!"**

**said a little voice from the lounge.**

**"Are you home? I'm itchy!"**

**" Oh,yes,the spots are out more since you went to work this morning,I've covered her in calamine though,she might be a bit _er white"**

**He said.**

** "Don't laugh okay" **

**He kissed her and said.**

**"Go into your daughter,and I will make you a coffee"**

**Clara went into the lounge,Daisy was on the sofa where John had left her watching the television.**

**"Hello,sweetie,are you feeling any better?"**

**"Yes,but Mummy,I'm so itchy and John won't let me scratch the spots" **

**She pouted at John who had just come from the kitchen with a coffee for Clara.**

**"Don't you dare!" He said.**

**Handing Clara the cup.**

**"you'll make them sore and bleed...we can put some more of this on"**

**Putting calemine on cotton wool to dab on.**

**"I'm all white, Mummy" **

**She moaned to clara,looking at her arms where John was dabbling with the cotton wool.**

**"So I see_"**

**she said trying not to smile,her face was white as well.**

**"Look what Auntie Mary as sent you"**

**She produced a white paper bag with some sticks of peppermint in.**

**"You can have one now as long as you clean your teeth well later"**

**"Okay Mummy" she said.**

**"Do I get one !"said John**

**"Yes" said Clara.**

**"As long as you do too"**

**John stuck his tongue out at her, Daisy giggled.**

**"Behave,the pair of you,I'm going to have a bath.**

**When's tea ready?"**

**"In half an hour" John replied.**

**"Chicken casserole alright?"**

**She kissed him on the way out.**

**"Lovely"_**

**Clara went and turned on the water so it would run while she got undressed.**

**Stripping off the skirt and blouse that was her uniform for work.**

**As she settled into the scented water she thought how much her life had changed in the last two weeks.**

**Though Daisy had chicken pox. Lots of nice things had happened,thanks to John.**

**Soon as his divorce was finalised,they were to be married.**

**If someone had said she would meet and marry the love of her life in such a short time,she would have laughed at them.**

**Tomorrow was Saturday,and her Dad was coming to visit. They were going over to the hotel to have a look at the top floor to see about turning it in to accommodation for the three of them.**

**There was something, she pushed it too the back of her mind,because she wasn't sure..Yes,life was good at the moment...**

**"Clara,tea's on the table!" John knocked on the door.**

**"Coming!" **

**She quickly got out,dried herself and put her dressing gown on.**

**Tying her hair back,she went and sat at the table.**

**"I'm starving,only had a quick sandwich at lunch."**

** She ate one plate full quickly and then said to John.**

**"Is there anymore?"**

**"Sure,there's plenty.**

**Slow down!"**

**John was only half way through his and Daisy only ate a little as she wasn't eating much due to the chicken pox taking away her appetite.**

**"Is it good as yours?"**

**"Mm_ better._Shall I wash up?"**

**"No, I'll do them"**

**John said back.**

**"You've been working all day,go and cuddle up on the sofa with Daisy before she goes to bed,be in soon"**

**He kissed her.**

**Clara walked into the lounge,Daisy was nearly asleep on the sofa.**

**"Mummy" she yawned.**

**"Can I go to bed please? I'm so tired"_**

**"Course,you can sweetie"**

**Daisy didn't seem warm or anything like she had been last week,It must be with the spots coming out. She would be better in the morning.**

**John came in then looking puzzled at them.**

**"Daisy wants to go to bed" she said.**

**"Do you want me to take her?"**

**" If you like" **

**kissing Daisy,sat back down on the sofa,she suddenly felt very tired herself**

** If anything a little queasy too.**

**Serve her right for being a pig! Seemed to be starving hungry one minute,feeling sick the next.**

**She had vomited this morning.**

**John was in the other room,and as it passed,she hadn't said anything.**

** she was sickening for something as well. Maybe,the last time she had felt like this was with Daisy.**

**It had only been two weeks, couldn't be,could she!? Thinking about it. Surely not?_**

**When John came back in the sick feeling had passed somewhat.**

**"She was out like a light,didn't even want a story tonight"**

**He walked up to Clara.**

** "Do you want a cuddle? How about an early night"**

**"Don't really feel like that tonight"**

** Leaning against him.**

**"Feel so tired all of a sudden"**

**She yawned_**

**_"Sorry!"**

**" That's alright,sweetheart,your Dad's coming tomorrow,so an early night will do you good,You go,I'll come later"**

**He kissed her_**

**At three in the morning,****John woke to the sound of Clara being sick in the bathroom.**

**He knocked on the door_**

**"Clara,sweetheart are you okay?"**

**He heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water.**

**The door opened she came out as white as a sheet and sat on the bed..**

**Hugging her stomach,looked over at him.**

**" John... I think I might be pregnant!**

**"WHAT?!"**

**John's eyes widened in shock_**

**A/****N**

**So Clara might be pregnant should be okay because Her and John have had the chicken pox and Daisy is nearly over it.**

**Think John will be pleased about this once he gets over the carry on reading and review.**

**THANK YOU.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 22**

**Do the Bump...**

**John just stared at Clara he seemed to be in shock! **

**"Please say something" She said to him**

**"Baby,are you sure?"**

**"The symptoms are just like with Daisy" Clara started to cry.**

**"Please don't be cross with me,it's not all my fault!"**

**John seemed to come out of it then.**

**"Oh,Clara.I'm not cross,this is great! Unexpected,sooner than we planned on. But I'm over the moon!"**

**Why he saying this,John was wiping her tears,hugging,kissing her.**

**"Hang on,are you sure? Have you done a test?"**

**"Yes,I bought one of those test ****thingies**** on my way home,did it before I was sick.**

**When I got up for the loo,decided to do it was positive.**

**We must have hit the jackpot soon as we started doing it.**

**After all, we haven't been taking precautions have we?"**

**"No,we haven't. We should celebrate. **

**Is there anything you want?"**

**"Could I just have a cup of tea,please?"**

**"You don't drink tea,in fact you hate it"**

**"Well,I don't now,must be the hormones,I drank gallons of it with Daisy,then went back off it when I gave birth" **

**"I'll put the kettle on"**

**John kissing her,as he got up.**

**"Okay" She yawned. **

**Getting back into bed.**

**When he came back,Clara had gone to sleep,so he drank it!**

**'A**** baby' that was brilliant! He wanted to shout It from the roof tops,couldn't wait to tell his Aunt,Rory,Amy.**

**John began to make plans.**

**It didn't matter that they weren't married yet,they would be before it was born.**

**It would give them time to sort out the living accommodations.**

**He lay down next to Clara,soon he was asleep as well.**

**SATURDAY AM**

**Clara woke and looked at the clock on the bedside table It was early.**

**She didn't have to get up for work for once and her Dad wasn't coming until one.**

**John lay asleep next to her,he had been so excited when she told him about the baby.**

**It had been only two weeks,and she hadn't planned on telling him yet,but the morning sickness had put pay to that.**

**"Oh!"_**

**Sitting up,putting her hand too her mouth.**

**"Not again!" Bolting for the bathroom.**

**"Wwhat!?" John surfaced from sleep to the bed rocking,the door slammimg.**

**Guessing what was happening,knocked on the door.**

**"Silly question,Clara are you okay?"**

**"No! Please leave me alone,John,be out soon"**

**She said in between vomiting up the rest of dinner from last night.**

**John went back to the bed. There was the sound of the toilet and water running.**

**She crawled back into bed and curled up besides him.**

**"Yuck!" She said.**

**"Looks as though it is going to be bad as it was last time.**

**"Two months"**

**She sighed. "Only six more weeks to go.."**

**"I'm sorry" **

**He said putting his arm round her**

**"Do you want anything,sweetheart?"**

**She turned on her side to face him,trailing her fingers up and down his chest said.**

**"How about that cuddle we didn't have last night.**

** Feel ****better now"**

**"What! You want too do that! Now?!" He said.**

**"John,I'm pregnant,not dead!' Sides you might find I want sex more now!"**

**She nibbled on his ear.**

**"Make the most of it,you won't be able to get on top of me soon,though there are other ways we can you know _"**

**"Clara Oswald,your insatiable!"**

**John started making love to her.**

**Later,as he got up to see to Daisy,saying he would call her in time to get ready before her Dad arrived.**

**He grinned,she already gone back to sleep,not surprising after all that energy they had just used.**

**Apart from the morning sickness,he hoped she would have a good pregnancy and if she wanted to make love,well that was fine by him,within reason.**

**Daisy was in the living room,watching cartoons,She knew that on a Saturday they liked a lie in,and not to disturb them,unless it was an emergency...**

**"Morning,Missy" He said kissing the top of her head.**

**How are you today?"**

**"Better,hungry. Can I have toast and honey please for breakfast"**

**"Course you can,and then after that how about a bath,to get ready for Grandad coming?"**

**"Kay"_She said.**

**"Is Mummy still asleep?"**

**"She is. I will wake her when you've had your bath,as she will want to get ready herself" **

**He noticed the spots didn't seem as bad today,and Daisy ate two rounds of toast and honey.**

**John didn't have to persuade her to eat,which he had been trying to do.**

**She had only been back at school one day when she went down with the chicken pox.**

**He had thought it was a good thing that she was getting better,they should all be all okay, as they all had it,even his Aunt.**

**He was looking forward to telling everyone about the baby,they could tell Daisy and Clara's Dad today,that's if Clara wanted to,he would ask her when he got her up.**

**It was now ten,John put Daisy in the bath and went to wake Clara.**

**"Sweetheart are you getting up now?"**

**He kissed her lightly..putting her arms round his neck,she said.**

**More please!" she kissed him back.**

**"Later."He said."Or we'll end up doing that ,I've got Daisy in the bath"**

**She sat up ****pouting at him.**

**"Don't give me that look,Clara,besides your Dad will be here.**

**We've got to get ready.**

**He kissed her once more,walked to the door.**

**Turning back.**

**"Do you want to tell them today? Daisy,your Dad I mean?"**

**She looked thoughtful.**

**"Suppose we should,as they will be wondering why I'm being sick most of the time.**

**My Dad might guess after last okay**

**"How's Daisy today?"**

**" Better,hungry,think we're over the worst"**

**"John. Ready to get out now!"**

**Shouted a little voice.**

**"Got to go. Bathroom free in ten minutes if you want a shower"**

**SAT PM**

**Claras Dad had arrived just after one.**

**He liked the flat,though thought it was small.**

**John said that it had been just okay for Clara and Daisy.**

**It was only temporary, as they would be moving into the hotel when it was fixed up. Though this would be handy too as with Clara,pregnant,they would be away from the mess and noise when the building work started.**

** All of them were going to look at the top floor once they had lunch.**

**"It's only ham salad,there is a trifle as well" Clara said.**

**"Did you make it?" Her Dad said in alarm.. Clara giggled.**

**"Don't worry,John made it,Dad we won't be drinking it this time"**

**"Drinking it?" John asked.**

**"It wouldn't set"**

**Said her Dad.**

**"Did have lots of sherry in it"**

**"John's a better cook than me"**

**Clara said."I burn water" **

**"Think she does it to get out of it don't you,John?"said her Dad winking at him.**

**"Maybe" He smiled.**

**"I don't mind cooking have to for a while"**

**"Oh" Said her Dad.**

**John and Clara looked at each other and then Clara said to Daisy who was sat at the coffee table drawing with new paper and pens her Grandad had brought her.**

**"Daisy,how would you like a baby brother or sister?"**

**"When Mummy,after we move to the hotel?"**

**"Little bit sooner than eight months,will be in December.**

**Oh God,I'm going to be the size of a house by Christmas!"**

**"Really" ****Daisy said**

**"Can I have a sister,please Mummy?**

**Don't like boys that much!"**

**John laughted at Clara's face as she said.**

**"I'll see what I can do,but it might be a brother"**

**Daisy shrugged,went back to her drawing.**

**Clara dared look at her Dad.**

**"I'm sorry Dad,we didn't do this on purpose.I didn't know I was pregnant when we came to see you the other day. I know it as been so Fast"**

**She looked at John. With tears in her eyes said..**

**"I love him so much.I'm sorry to disappoint you . I'm sorry!"**

**Crying her eyes out she ran from the room.**

**"Clara!"**

**John made to go after her.**

**"John,let me talk to her first,okay?"**

**"Dave,you have to understand that she has been very upset in the last few days since she found you again.**

**Don't get me wrong,she is glad you made it up,so am I.**

**Please believe me when I say as Clara said we didn't do this on purpose,it is a happy mistake.I will stand by her,I love her. I want this baby"**

**Dave put his hand on his shoulder.**

**"I know,I believe you, I'll talk to Clara,I was so hurtful to her last time.**

**She remembers how disappointed in her I was.**

** This time,I'm proud of her,what she as achieved. I will go and talk to her.**

**He walked out of the room.**

**John sat on the sofa,not really taking in what was going on round him.**

** A little hand was on his face, he heard Daisy say.**

**"Don't cry John,,,Mummy will be okay.**

**Grandad will talk to her and make her better!"**

**John hugged her too him.**

**" I know he will" He said to her as he wiped his eyes on his sheelve**

**"Use your hankie "she said sternly to him,handing him a tissue.**

**He laughed at the telling off. Saying.**

** "Yes Miss_"**

**Dave thought that Clara,must be in the bedroom,the flat wasn't very large,and after he looked in the bathroom and kitchen,there was only there left to look.**

**He knocked on the door,and opened it.**

**Clara was on the bed,he came in and sat next to her."I'm sorry,she said again...**

**"Clara,you have nothing to be sorry for..I'm not angry that you are pregnant.I like John,you couldn't have chosen better as a husband for you and a father for Daisy..even If you had known him longer. He worships the ground you walk on.**

**You can see that in his eyes. Dry yours and let's have some lunch.T****hen we can go see this hotel where you both work and have a look at this flat your going to make your home.**

**"Daddy,I do love you"**

**"I know,but you need to tell that man in there how much you love him,he's very worried about you"**

**"I'll just wash my face then come in"**

**Dave got up from the bed and touched her face.**

**"Don't be long" He went back into the lounge.**

**Clara went to the bathroom,washed her face,brushed her hair.**

**Then went back to the lounge. she stood near the door,John anxiously came over too her.**

**"Clara,sweetheart,are you alright?"**

**She touched his face.**

**"I'm fine,sorry I got upset,you can blame my hormones if you like.**

**She looked at the food spread out on the table where Daisy and her Dad where already eating.**

**"Wouldn't mind a sandwich thought.I'm hungry,and a cup of tea"**

**"You sit down"**

**Said John guiding her to the sofa.**

**"I'll make it"**

**After they had eaten.**

**Dave had helped John wash up,which he insisted on. They walked to the hotel.**

**Daisy was glad to be out in the fresh air,as it was nearly a week since she had been.**

**John was racing her to the hotel front door.**

**"I won! I won!" She said.**

**Jumping up and down the hotel steps.**

**"Oh,she definitely better Clara"**

**He laughed and Clara smiled.**

**They all went into reception where Kate was on duty.**

**"This is my father,Dave,"**

**She introduced him "This is Kate"**

**"Hello,John, your Aunt is in the back office she said to go in and get the key for upstairs when you arrived"**

**"Come on Dave,I'd like you to meet my Aunt"**

**He went and knocked on the door.**

**"Come in"_**

**Auntie,I've come for the key for upstairs,we've also got some news. This is Clara's Dad,Dave Oswald.**

**Dave,this is is my Aunt Mary"_**

**As Clara's Dad came forward to shake hands,Aunt Mary said.**

**"Good God! Dave the Rave!" Dave said.**

**"Mary?****"...!**

**Clara and John just looked at each other open mouthed.."Dave the Rave!?"**

**A/N**

**So Clara's Dad and Aunt Mary have a past TOGETHER,find out more in the next Chapter.**

** Clara's pregnancy will go a little smoother now..maybe? Will also have to get the flat sorted..Hope to meet up with Amy and Rory too.**

**Please read and review will update soon.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 23**

**Dave the Rave!**

**"You know Aunt Mary?" John said.**

**Looking between his Aunt and Clara's Dad!?**

**"We're old friends"**

**Dave said hugging her.**

**Then looking at the woman in his arms.**

**It must be all of thirty years since we last saw each other."**

**Mary going pink. Nodded.**

**"Dave the Rave!"**

**Clara,thinking what a weird day this was perhaps she was still in bed dreaming all this?**

**"Now ****there's a tale "**

**Dave back to look at John and his daughter.**

** "I've even met you before John.**

**My memory has been well jogged"**

**"You have?"_**

**John looking at his Aunt.**

**" In ****Leadworth****,when you were three.I was staying with your Mum and Dad" Said Auntie Mary.**

**"I met Dave in the village that summer,at a pop concert of all places"**

**Auntie Mary,eyes far away,going back into her memories.**

**"You were a hippy!" said John. Seeing a new side to his Aunt.**

**"Hardly" She laughed..****"This wasn't the 1960s.**

** I wasn't always this age,John.I was on holiday from my job visiting my family. I had forgot about it as well,until now"**

**Dave said then.**

**" When I first met her in the village,and you were there John,I thought you were her child because of the likeness.**

**I only found out later you were her nephew"**

**" I was taking you to play with Amy and Rory"**

**Mary continued the story.**

**"Dave had come down for a big pop concert that was going on in the Jones farm over that weekend,you remember he used to hire it out for events?"**

**John nodded.**

**"Well he and his friends asked me for directions to the farm and one thing led to another. Dave asked me to the concert that night"**

**"Why 'Dave the Rave' though?"**

** John asked puzzled.**

**"A daft nickname"_**

**Aunt Mary said. Going pinker.**

**"He liked the loud stuff,I was not that keen,more of an Abba fan me you know that John"**

**" I knew really you hated it"**

**Said Dave.**

**"But I fancied her like mad. I also thought she was married found out on that last day she wasn't.**

**We wrote to each other for a time,then life got in the way. I met your mum,a few years later,Clara"**

**"I went back to work as I'd just started in new chambers.**

**Auntie said then.**

**"You know what happened next John"**

**"Yes"_**

**Walking to the office window.**

**"I never met your sister and her husband,how are they?"**

**John's shoulders stiffened at that didn't turn round but said.**

**"They died in a car crash,a year later"**

**"I'm so sorry,me and my big mouth"**

**Dave said.**

**John took a breath,turning then.**

**"Dave its okay. That's one of the things you need to find out about me.**

**The hurt is less now,Clara and me talked about it last week. She makes me better"**

**Looking round then said.**

**"Where's Clara?"_**

**He realised while they had been talking,Clara wasn't in the room,then Daisy ran in.**

**"John,_Mummys fainted, she's on the floor in reception"**

**"What!" **

**He said dashing out of the office.**

**"Clara..Sweetheart_"**

**Kate was kneeling next to her,trying to bring her round.**

**"She came out the office,then before I could ask if she was alright,she was on the floor"**

**"I'll get some water"**

** Auntie Mary said going to the kitchen.**

**John lifted her on to the sofa in the little lounge.**

**She was starting to come round.**

**His Aunt handed John a wet flannel to bathe her face with.**

**"Urr_John. I was on the floor. I think?"**

**"Yes you were,what happened Clara?"**

**S****he tried to sit up.**

**"No stay there a minute"**

**John was kneeling on the floor next to the sofa,he said stopping her.**

**"It was warm in the office"**

** she said. **

** "I needed some water,some air,things were going round and round"**

**"Here"_**

**John propping her up a little,his Aunt handing him a glass of water.**

**"Sip this,slowly"**

**Helping her drink some of the water.**

**"That's better"_**

**She sighed. Eyes half closed.**

**"Can I get up now,John?"**

**" Stay there for ten minutes,I'll make a cup of tea,then you can sit up"**

**"Kay"_**

**S****he said and shut her eyes. She felt very tired all of a sudden.**

**John standing pointed to the office,his Aunt knew he wanted to talk to her.**

** "You go"_**

**said Dave.**

**"I'll make the tea,Daisy,do you want to help Granddad?"**

**He went into the kitchen with the little girl.**

**John walked to the office,followed by his Aunt.**

**Aunt Mary asked.**

**"Is Clara alright..John?"**

**"I know this is,a little soon,Auntie"**

**Rubbing at his face.**

**Not sure how she would take it.**

**"Clara's pregnant"**

**Waiting for the lecture on not being careful,but_**

**"That's wonderful news" she said.**

**"It is? Your not_cross?_"**

**"John,sweetheart"**

**Hugging him to her.**

**"Why would I be cross?"**

**" We only found out yesterday.**

**Clara is only about two week,she as been so sick.**

**I know morning sickness is part of the course,but I don't like this fainting though"**

**John knew,he was rambling.**

**Worried as he was about Clara.**

**"I want to take her home,and call the Doctor to check her out,what do you think?"**

**"It won't do any harm,and it will give you peace of mind.**

**You can look at the top floor another day,plenty of time for that,I will call a taxi"**

**Dave came in with the tea,then.**

**"I will go and get my car,John"**

**When he went to protest said.**

**"It won't take ten minutes and it will be quicker than waiting for a taxi"**

**Pausing said.**

**"What about if I took Daisy for a few days give Clara and you sometime to yourself,get use to this ideal of the baby?**

**Its school holidays next week. Unless you don't want me to have her,I've asked her and she's all for it,let me get to know my Granddaughter?"**

**The look in his eyes was almost pleading.**

**"If Clara's happy,its alright with me" He replied. **

**I will ask her while you get the car"**

**"Right,I'll take Daisy with me now"**

** Dave and Daisy went out. John said.**

**"Auntie,I'm sorry_again about all this"**

**She touched his face.**

**"John, you don't have to be" **

**"But,with what happened with Sue,you must be disappointed in me!"**

**He said in anguish..**

**Putting her arms round him said.**

**"I am never that. John do you want a family?"_**

**"Of course I do!"_**

**Touching his face again.**

**"Then,grab this with both hands.**

**Clara and you are right for each other.I can,see that after two weeks.**

**Grab it and don't let go..okay?"**

**Kissing his cheek,said.**

**"We had better go and tell her what's happening"**

**John nodded,following her out the office.**

**Clara was still lay on the sofa. She said tearful.**

** "John don't want any tea,_**

**don't want to see the flat now,I want to go home!"**

**He went over too her took her hand.**

**" Hush,sweetheart your Dad as gone to get his car,then you are going home.**

**To bed,on your own. I'm going to get the Doctor to check you out okay?"**

**"Fine"_**

**He had expected more of an argument till she said.**

**"To tired for sex,maybe later!"**

**"CLARA" He was scandalized. Going red.**

**Nothing the amused Look on his Aunts face.**

**She giggled at him.**

**"Oh your face John Smith! I can tease as wel!"**

**He smiled,realising she was getting him back for the other day.**

**"Clara,your Dad asked if he can take Daisy for a few days,do you mind? it's the school holidays next week,what do you think?"**

**"He should get to know his Grandaughter"**

**She smiled. Holding his hand.**

**"We can have sometime together"**

**"That's the plan,sweetheart"**

**Touching her on the cheek.**

**"I still want you in bed and too see the Doctor okay?"**

**As she nodded to him he looked up.**

**"Here's your Dad back"**

**Dave walked up to them.**

**" The car outside"**

**Clara went to stand up and nearly fell over with the effort.**

**"Clara!" **

**John said catching her before she fell,**

**"Dizzy"_**

**She said. Holding on to John**

**"Open the doors"**

**He said picking her up.**

** "I'll carry her!"**

**"John,do you want me to ring the Doctor and ask for a visit? It will save time and you can put her to bed,sort Daisy out.**

**Is she staying with Dave for a while?"**

**"Yes,she is,we are both happy with that,if you don't mind having her for a few days,Dave?"**

**John said as he put Clara in the back seat of the car and got in with her.**

**"Please Auntie do that,you have all of Clara's,details in your files?"**

**"Yes,I have all the staffs"**

**"Don't forget to tell them she is two weeks pregnant_"**

**John added.**

**"Right,Dave it was,nice to see you again,even if it was briefly,we'll have to keep in touch,especially now we've a wedding and a baby to look forward to."**

** She said.**

**Dave kissed Aunt Mary and said.**

**"I will get your number from John,bye Mary" **

**He got into the drivers seat with Daisy in the passenger side.**

**They arrived back at the flat within ten minutes, and John was going to carry Clara straight into the bedroom,as he lifted her out the car,she said.**

**"John,I think I'm going to_"**

**She was sick all down his shirt.**

**"_I'm sorry!"**

** She started to cry.**

**"Hey,don't worry it's only a shirt,its not even my favourite!"**

**He said as he put her on the bed and started to help her undress.**

**"Daisy,if you're going with Granddad,why don't you get some things together?"**

**He said to her over his shoulder.**

**"Okay John"**

**After he had got Clara settled,leaving the bowl at the side of the bed in case she was sick again. The phone rang.**

**"John,it's Auntie Mary. The Doctor will come to see Clara soon,I told them she was pregnant. How is she?"**

**" Sick. She threw up on me as we got out of the car"**

**"Poor girl,she is having a hard time of it,John promise me you'll ring after the Doctor's been?"**

**"I Will ,talk to you later?"**

**As he put the phone down,Dave was behind him in the hall.**

**I think,we will get going now,I know Clara,is in good hands.**

**I've been in to see her,she's asleep. I will ring later to see what the Doctor says.**

**Tell her I love her,John?"**

**"I will,thanks Dave"**

**He kissed Daisy who was stood next to her Granddad.**

**"Mummy will be fine,be a good girl,have a good time. I love you"**

** She hugged him. John went to shut the door behind them.**

**John went to check on Clara,as Dave said she was asleep. Realised that he still had the shirt she had been sick on,so he changed and put it into soak. **

**Making a coffee,he sat down beside the bed,feeling lonely all of a sudden, a solitary tear ran down his cheek,he scrubbed it away with his hand.**

**'Being silly..' He thought.**

**"Hey"**

** Clara had woken he took her hand and kissed it.**

**"Hello,sweetheart,do you feel any better?"**

**"Little bit,can I get up?"**

**"You know better than that Clara,**

**and don't give me that look,let's see what the Doctor says first,right? Do you want anything?"**

**"Thirsty,some water please"**

**John went to the kitchen,got a jug filled it with water and a glass.**

**"Here"_**

**He handed her the glass filled half way..Clara drank it straight down and handed him it back.**

**"More please!"**

**"Not,so fast,Clara,you'll be sick again. I'm running out of shirts!"**

**She giggled at that,he filled the glass again.**

**"Sip this one"**

**"Okay.."**

**There was a knock at door.**

**"That will be the Doctor"**

**John went to answer it. It was,the same Doctor from last week.**

**"Hello Mr Smith"**

**Dr Jones looked at her notes,not your daughter your wife is it?"**

**"Fiancee,come in. It's John"**

**He smiled.**

**She followed him down the hall,into the bedroom.**

**"Clara,the doctors here" **

**"Hi,Clara is it? I'm Dr Jones"**

**" Yes _**

** "I remember you from the other week,with Daisy"**

**"How is your daughter? Was it the chicken pox?"**

**"Not at first" John said.**

**"About a week later,she even went back to school, had to come home because she picked them up.**

**She is staying with her Grandfather at the moment"**

**"She is over them now? Apart from the spots? And you have had them?"**

**"Yes,I though it was safe for a pregnant woman if she had them?" Clara asked.**

**Dr Jones said.**

**"It should be,you are only two weeks?**

**You have been sick on and off?"**

**"Yes"_**

**"Fainting?"**

**"Twice" John said.**

**"I'll better take your blood pressure then"**

**Dr Jones the cuff round Clara arm.**

**"Hmm,it is slightly lower than it should be"..**

**"Is that bad?" asked John **

**"I can monitor it for the next twenty four hours,see if it go's back up, I want Clara to stay in bed till then"**

**Looking over at John.**

**"Apart from the obvious bathroom visits of course. Straight back to bed"**

**She closed her bag,made for the door.**

**"I will see myself out,see you tomorrow,John"**

**"Thanks. Bye" John said. **

**His attention on the door,didn't notice at first that Clara was trying to get out of bed. As he did_**

**"Hang on a minute,What do you think your doing?**

**What have you just been told?"**

**"I need the loo,John,I'm desperate,all that water!"**

**" Right,sorry" He said.**

**" Do you want me to carry you?"**

**"No,I'm okay.I think"**

**As she stood up though the room started to go round,it was clear she wasn't.**

**"Oh dear!" **

** Suddenly she sat down on the bed,said tearfully.**

**"Think you might have to,John! I hope it's,not going to be like this for the next eight months"**

**"Come on sweetheart"_**

** He lifted her off the bed to the bathroom, then back to her bed He kissed her saying.**

**"Are you hungry?"**

**She sighed.**

** "Not really Maybe"**

**"Well,you have been sick and you have eaten nothing since the sandwich I made want to try some soup?"**

**"Okay_maybe" She said.**

**"Be right back" He went to the kitchen to make it.**

**Clara lay in the bed,she hated being ill.**

**She placed her hand on her stomach,trying to imagine the little life that was growing there. A little life she thought,tears starting to pour down her cheeks,she had done so much crying in the last hours since she had found out she was pregnant to 'float a battle ship' the saying went didn't it? Poor John, he must be so fed up.**

**He came back into the room balancing a tray with soup, bread and butter was also a glass of Orange juice.**

**Putting the tray down,he helped Clara sit up.**

**Noticing she had been crying again said.**

**"Come on,things will get better soon,you'll rest, your blood pressure will get back to what it is supposed to be"**

**"But,will it John? We're going to lose our baby,I know it.I'm frightened.."**

**He sat on the bed and held her.**

**"Every thing is fine,I am not going anywhere. You are going to eat some of this"**

**He said with a final kiss,getting up, putting the tray on her lap.**

**"Then you are,going to get some sleep right?_**

**Clara nodded and picked up the spoon,it was chicken,she had two spoons and a sip of the Orange juice..then said.**

**"I'm sorry John,I can't eat this,maybe later"**

**Taking the tray from her said.**

**"Try to sleep then?"**

**Kissing her he made to leave the room.**

**"Please,don't go,stay.I need you!"**

**She sounded so upset and frightened that he put the tray down and getting on the bed with her,put his arms round her,kissed her on the head saying.**

**" Not going anywhere,go to sleep,Clara,and no you can't have your wicked way with me,perhaps later"**

**Clara smiled at that as she drifted off to sleep.**

**A/N**

**Hope you are still reading,poor Clara,hope to make things better for her soon.**

**Please REVIEW next chapter SOON.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 24**

**John woke to the sound of the telephone ringing.**

**Squinting at the alarm clock on Clara's side of the bed.**

**He must have fallen asleep! Clara muttered something in her sleep and rolled over more to her own side of the bed.**

**He hurried silently into the hall,shuting the bedroom door quietly behind him. Reaching for the handset said half asleep,**

**"Hello"**

**"John,thank goodness,I've rung once already" it was his Aunt.**

**"Is every thing okay? The Doctor has been?" **

**"Auntie I was going to ring you earlier,she came a couple of hours ago,but Clara was a little upset then we both fell asleep"**

**"Did she say what it was?"**

**"Her blood pressure" He said.**

**"It's low,caused by the pregnancy,the Doctor says,she must stay in bed,at least for today.**

**She is coming back tomorrow to see her again and we will just have to take it from there,but Auntie ,isn't that dangerous for the Mother as well as the baby?"**

**He sounded tired and upset with trying to hold it together for Clara,his Aunt could tell.**

**"I'm not going to lie to you John, it can be.**

**They can do more now than they could years ago.**

**Clara will be monitored all the way through,and maybe it's good they have picked up on it now while it's early in her pregnancy"**

**"I hope so,"he said "could you do me a favour Auntie,ring Dave for me and let him know what as happened,would you mind?I Don't think I could speak to him tonight...or Daisy.I might get upset...I will give you his number,you haven't got it yet"**

**He read it to her from the pad in the hall.**

**"Of course,dear,I will tell him what you told me and you will ring him tomorrow when the doctors been again.I'll tell him you both need a early night..Please get one John,you sound exhausted,give Clara my love..Goodnight dear"**

**"Night,Auntie"**

**He put the phone down and leant his head against the wall.**

**God,he was tired,hadn't realised it until Aunt Mary said.**

**Maybe a shower would help,and he really should eat something though didn't feel like it. Hadn't had anything since lunch time himself and he would be no good to Clara if he got ill as well.**

**Checking Clara was still sleeping,he headed for the bathroom and the shower,then went and made himself toast and a coffee.**

**Sat in the lounge trying to watch the television,he could feel himself nodding off..'time for bed John' he said to himself.**

**By nine he was back in bed with Clara.**

**At eleven she started to whimper in her sleep,thrash about on the bed in a dream.**

**John was,so deep in sleep,he didn't hear her at first.**

**She sat up and screamed out...**

**"John No No the baby_Ahhh!"**

**He sat up so quick that he nearly fell out of the bed trying to put his arms round her.**

**"Clara,wake up...your dreaming,come on sweetheart,it's okay!" **

**She was fighting him still.**

**"Please Clara,come on it's me,it's fine,your safe" **

**Suddenly she stopped fighting and went quiet,he touched her face..**

**"Clara? Are you back with me?"**

**"J-John"_,she said looking at him dazed.**

**"Hello,sweetie" **

**He smiled back at her.**

**"You were having a bad dream,do you remember what it was about?"**

**"No,don't think so?"_**

**Then realization came over her.**

**"Oh,yes,yes I do!" She started to cry.**

**"Oh John, the baby it died,it died and I couldn't do anything to stop it"**

**She was getting hysterical, and was shaking so much he was finding it hard to calm her down,so was was nearly crying himself.**

**"Clara, please calm down,sweetheart_"**

**stroking her head.**

**"You are going to get really sick if you carry on like this"**

**Touching her stomach. **

**"The baby is fine,if you had lost it you would know,darling! There would be some outward sign"**

**Kissed her on the head"**

**Hush! Now"**

**Rocking her.**

**He could feel her calming a little and let go of his T-shirt which she had been clinging to for dear life.**

**"It was just a dream,are you going to go back to sleep now?"**

**He tried to ease her back to lie down.**

**"NO..!"**

**She started to hold on to him again.**

**He had never known her like this before.**

**"Clara,I'm not going anywhere,shall we both lie down then?"**

**She nodded her consent,and he lay back with Clara nearly on top of him.**

**It wasn't very comfortable,but he didn't know what else to do,as she wouldn't let go of him!**

**Uncomfortable as he was,he was starting to nod off himself when he heard her say.**

**"You must be fed up, with me ,John.I'm just causing you more problems!"**

**"Stop it Clara!**

**You are "NOT " a problem,I'm here because I want to be,not because I have to,I love you,love Daisy, want us all to be a family with the baby"**

**"What if the baby doesn't make it?"**

**"Clara!"_**

**"No John,It could happen"**

**He sighed."If the worst does, happen then we'll face it ?"**

**"Okay!" She paused "John_"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"Will you make love to me?"**

**His eyes shot open "Now!?"**

**"Yes,"**

**He paused. Then.**

**"I'm sorry. tomorrow if the Doctor says it's alright,it is one of the things we need discuss.**

**If we can't make love then we wait. What's eight months? We'll have a long time to do lots of things,especially that right?"**

**"I suppose so,I shouldn't have asked.I'm sorry"**

**She said.**

**"I know our relationship shouldn't be all about sex,John,and I know we joke about it lots too, maybe it's the hormones..I feel really 'horney' at the moment"**

** She giggled at John's expression."Sorry!"**

**"Yes,well"_**

**John stuttered.**

**"How about you let me up,I really need the loo, I will come back,then we can cuddle okay?"**

**"Kay," she moved away from him so he could get out of bed.**

**John hurried to the bathroom.'Oh the relief'..wouldn't had been able to hold it any longer.**

**He was getting slightly worried about Clara. Seemed as she was having a panic attack but didn't seem the type,it had to be the hormones,the low blood pressure or both.**

**Something else to discuss with the Doctor tomorrow,or today as it was well after midnight now.**

**God he wanted sleep...badly! Pulling the chain,he washed his hands and went back into the bedroom. Clara was on her side of the bed,fast asleep,John offered up a prayer of thanks,got into bed and much as he loved her,hoped she stayed that way!**

**SUNDAY AM**

**John opened an eye,it was only seven.**

**Clara was still sleeping,as it was early he just lay there thinking,with his eyes closed. The Doctor was due again,but didn't think it would be till the afternoon.**

**He felt Fingers on his chest,running up and down.**

**John opened his eyes.**

**"Good morning,and how are we feeling today?"**

**Putting his arm round her.**

**Lay with her head on his chest,Clara said.**

**"Better,the room doesn't spin any more"**

**"That's good,wait,have you been up?"**

**"Only to the loo it couldn't wait,you were fast asleep John" **

**She said.**

**"Went straight there and back.I'd woke you if I felt dizzy"**

**"Good girl"**

**He said kissing the top of her head.**** His arm round her,feeling very contented at the moment,then he felt her hand on his leg.**

**"No,Clara,what did I say before, not until the doctors been.I mean it.!"**

** He moved her hand **** away.**

**"But,I feel better" she was sulking at him.**

**Moving it back again.**

**"I said NO!_ Clara,can't you do as your told for once?"**

**She pulled away from him.**

**"Fine,be like that then!"_**

**Turning over away from him in the bed.**

**"Evidently you don't love me,John"**

**He sat up in the bed.**

**"It's because I love you,I won't. Please Clara,I didn't mean to shout at you I'm sorry!..I want to as well,but if your blood pressure is still too low,you might faint again"**

**She turned back over to look at him.**

**"I feel fine,though!"**

**"Come here !"**

**He said,pulling her into his arms**

**"I'll make a deal with you,if the Doctor says everything is okay,we will have an early night tonight,and you can have your wicked way with me?"**

**"Okay you've got a deal"_**

**She sighed.**

**"I'll do as I'm told. H****ave more,energy for tonight that way,so you better look out John Smith!"**

**"Oh yes,I can believe it Clara Oswald! Sex mad,you are" **

**He kissed her and then got out of bed.**

**"Where are you going!"Clara asked.**

**"Can I get up as well?"**

**"I'm going to make breakfast"said John.**

** "You,madam are staying there"**

**Clara pulled a face.**

**"Are you going to do as you are told? Or no deal.**

**Tea,cereal toast,What would you like?"**

**Clara knew when she was beaten,and settled back on the pillows.**

**"Cornflakes' toast and tea,please. I'm hungry"**

**John raised an eyebrow at that,he hoped that her wanting to eat was a good sign.**

**"Fine,be right back"**

**Going in to the kitchen he put the kettle on tea for Clara,coffee for himself,two bowls of cornflakes and a plate of toast.**

**Taking the loaded tray back into the bedroom,he was surprised to find Clara still in bed where he had left her.**

**"Your determined to get your sex tonight" **

**He said putting the tray on the table next to the bed,as he handed her the tea.**

**She stuck her tongue out at him! She then ate a bowl of cornflakes and two rounds of toast and honey!**

**"Yes definitely better," said John.**

**"Were you sick this morning?"**

**"Some"_****Clara said.**

**"Not as bad as yesterday, I hadn't eaten much...Think that's why I'm making up for it today.!"**

**When they had finished their breakfast,John got dressed and helped Clara tidy the bed ready for the Doctor's visit.**

**He hoped it would be sooner than lately,as it was going to be a long day with Clara stuck in bed,unless the Doctor released her.**

** This constant nagging for sex on Clara's part,it was getting him down as well because though part of him wanted too,the other half wouldn't because of Clara's health.**

**Leaving her in bed with a pile of magazines he,tidied the flat.**

**He was about to sit down at one,when the Doctor arrived.**

**Hurrying to the door,he got there before she rang the bell.**

**"Dr Jones,could I have a quiet word before you see Clara?"**

**"Of course,John is there anymore problems since yesterday?"**

**She followed him into the kitchen.**

**"I'm not sure"**

**John said."Clara seems better today,but there are somethings I'm concerned about"**

**"Oh..."**

**John looked at her,"I know you probably don't know this Doctor,but we have only been together as a couple just over two weeks"**

**"About the length of time that Clara is pregnant?"she said.**

**"Yes,it was if you like,a whirlwind romance..we both fell for each other from day one! So l don't know,any of Clara's**** medical history"**

**Dr Jones said " There is no mention of low or high blood pressure in her notes from the last time with Daisy.**

**This could have just been**** a one off, we'll have to see?"**

**Dr Jones continued,"is there anything else you want to ask me John?"**

**"He told her about the night before, about the nightmare,the panic attacks,especially about the wanting sex.**

**Going red as,he was telling her about Clara,wanted it all the time.**

**"Is that usual?I don't mind,I quite like it myself" he said rubbing the back of his neck,but I worry about her being pregnant and her blood pressure"**

**She smiled at this.**

**"It's,not unusual to want sex more during pregnancy,so go for it..if she feels ill stop. What happen last night could have been a mix of the blood pressure and hormones.**

**We'll monitor Clara ,this might have just been a one,****off,her reaction to getting pregnant****.But there are things she can do lie down if she feels dizzy,drink lots of water. No medication I'm afraid.**

**If that's all,shall we go into her now?"**

**"Right.."**

** Doctor Jones followed him to the bedroom.****Clara sat up in bed the first thing she said was.**

**" When can I get up! You don't care.. about me John, I'm going round the bend here,you carry on with your life forget about me.I'm only the one having your baby"**

**John flinched and looked embarrassed,Doctor Jones looking at him saying.**

**"Mood swings,you are,going to get lots,of them as well!**

**"Hello ,Clara how are,you today?"**

**"Better,but he won't let me get up!"**

**She sulked,pointing at John.**

**"Well,let's take your blood pressure if it's back to normal,you can,okay"**

**Taking the cuff putting it on Clara's arm,she said **

**"Now that's,back to normal 120/80 that's good,you can get up"**

**"Thank God for that!"John said.**

**"Take it easy,rest when your tired,try to eat,drink plenty"**

** Doctor Jones continued. **

**"You can get one of these cuffs from the chemist so you can test and keep your eye on it,but if your worried about anything ring the surgery,I'll see you in a week if you ring to make an appointment"**

**"What about my job?"**

**said Clara.**

**"Can,I go back tomorrow?"**

**"No way!"**

**John said arms folded.**

**"Definitely not!"**

**Got another scowl from Clara.**

**"This,week off Clara,and then we will see about it when you come to see me next week okay? I'll see you both then"**

**"I will see you out,Doctor" He said.**

**"Thanks,bye Clara"**

**"Bye"**

**John saw the doctor out,then went back into Clara.**

**"I wanted to go to work tomorrow!" She sulked at him.**

**"Clara"_He warned.**

**"You'll do as you are,told.**

**Your wrong..I do care,about you,so this is me putting my foot down"**

**She looked contrite and mouthed.**

** "Sorry"_**

**He got on the bed with her,putting his arms round her.**

**"Clara,I love you,so much,but you have got too stop fighting me,especially over this"**

**He touched her stomach.**

**"Now why don't you have a shower, and I will ring Aunt Mary and your Dad let them know what the Doctor said.**

**"Then we'll have a walk to that Cafe on the front for a late lunch,right?"**

**"Okay,tell Daisy I love her and will ring her this evening"**

**He kissed her on the cheek and as she headed off to the bathroom,he went to phone.**

**A/N**

**This chapter was getting too long,so will continue more in the next,and there will be a shock for John.**

**Please REVIEW and I will UPDATE SOON.**

**Thanks for Reading...**


	25. Chapter 25

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 25**

**Sunday pm**

**By 3pm,they were ready to leave the flat.**

**John had decided on a late lunch at a little cafe that was on the sea front.**

**It was just along from the gift shop, both of them had been two or three times already in the time they had been together.**

**Holding Clara's hand,he thought that she was looking a lot better in fact she now had a glow about her.**

**He had read it somewhere,that pregnancy did this for some women.**

**"What!" She said sensing he was looking at her.**

**"Just thinking how lovely you are" he replied.**

**Pulling his head down to kiss him she whispered in his ear,**

**"How about we go behind the shelter on the prom...you can have me right now!"**

**John went bright red saying.**

**"What, get done for indecent exposure..."**

**Clara giggled at him,he knew,she had been having him on.**

**"Oh John you are,so easy to wind up..anyway I'm hungry...Come on..feed me!"**

** She said pulling him towards the cafe.**

**Entering they were met by Tony the owner,**

**"John",he said" and the lovely Clara! Your very late,today,never to late for my food!"**

**Showing them to a table near the window he left them to decide what they wanted to eat.**

**This was the one of the main eating places in Tadchester,apart from the restaurant that they recommended for the Guests at their hotel.**

**It catered mainly for hoilday maker and the odd person living here who wanted home cooked food.**

**They both decided on the Shepherds pie which they'd had before and was always very tasty,followed by Apple pie and custard.**

**As**** they waited for their order,Clara asked how Daisy was,and what her Dad had said.**

**"Daisy's fine, having a good time,which she will tell you about later. Your Dad is glad that you are feeling better,he remembers the morning sickness from last time" John replied.**

**"Yes,think it made him angry every time he saw me because I hadn't had a abortion."**

**Clara was making circles on the table cloth with her finger."**

** I moved out when I was two months pregnant in to a bedsit."**

**John realising that this was a good excuse to find out more,about Clara's life before she met him... she had never volunteered this much before.**

**"Where was that?"**

**"Kensington...grotty it was too,but it was all mine...I didn't work for a few months after Daisy was born,not because I didn't want to,couldn't afford to pay for the child care."**

**She carried on talking as though not there.**

** "Dad had been in touch,he knew,where I was,cause I'd let him know when Daisy was born,said I could come home,though...there were conditions"**

**"Oh,"said John guessing what they were,"you had to give up Daisy and never talk of her again,right?"**

**"Exactly,but there was no way I was doing that and told him so..that was the last I'd heard from him until you took me to see him the other day"**

**John thought even though Clara had forgiven her Dad,it was going to take time to build bridges for the seven year absence...maybe Daisy would help in that respect and also the new baby.**

**The food arrive then,and he took her hand "Clara,will you tell me more later,how you got to my Aunts hotel from there?I'd like to hear,find out about your life"**

**She smiled at him"yes I'd like that...I love you!"**

**"Lets eat this before it gets cold,then,ok"John continued.**

**Clara made short work of her meal,and also the apple pie that followed.**

**She also ate,half of John's,though he didn't mind,as he really only wanted a coffee Clara had water.**

**"Don't think I could eat another thing" she said.**

**"I'm going to be the size of a house by the time this baby's born."**

**"Really," said John in amusement,glad that she was thinking more positive about the baby now.**

**"I shall look forward to seeing that" **

**"Oi" Clara said. "You wait,John Smith,I will get you later for that...just can't move for the moment!"**

**Tony came to see if everything was,ok,John said **

**"Great as always Tony,could we have the bill please"?**

**Clara,thought she could walk as far as the Prom.**

**It was lovely day and they could sit on one of the benches there and talk..**

**Saying goodbye to Tony,they went out and across the road to the prom,there were Six benches spread out with shelters behind them,so that on windy days,who ever sat in them was sheltered from the weather.**

**There was no need for that today,as the weather was lovely,but John wanted Clara to sit down,she had had enough exercise for now. He wanted to hear more about her life story.**

**He sat down in the first shelter pulling Clara with him.**

**"We have to go behind not in,"She said.**

**"Clara",he whispered in her ear.**

**"If you don't behave we won't even do it tonight,stop winding me up!"**

** Kissing her long and deep."will that do for now?"**

**When she came up for breath..."Oh yes!"snuggling up to him in the shelter she felt very contented.**

**"Clara,tell me some more about how you got from London to my Aunts,hotel?"**

**"Well,I was looking for work,but couldn't find anything because I would have to put Daisy into nursery which would have cost more than what ever job I was doing.**

**We were managing,though surviving on benefits is not fun,I hated it...I had no choice..."**

**She looked at John tearfully.**

**"I know," he said putting a hand to her cheek.**

**"Well,one day,I was out shopping in the market,when I met Rose or rather I fell over her..nearly"**

**John raised his eye brows at that.**

**"You fell over her?"**

**"Hmm,"Clara said"I had Daisy in her pushchair walking through the market and Rose was under one of the stalls with her legs sticking out,l didn't see her, went flying on my backside,luckily the pushchair went the other way,so Daisy was,fine."**

**"What was she doing under the stall anyway?"John said.**

**"She had pulled her wedding ring off with her glove when she went to pay for her shopping,it went ping under the stall."**

**John smiled.**

**Clara,said"it wasn't funny,she was a widow,and it was all she had left from her husband.**

** There we both were on our hands,and knees searching among the rubbish,but we found it.**

**Long story short,she owned a bookshop in Kensington High Street and offered me a job,it was only part-time,but it helped"**

**"What about Daisy?"**

**"That was the best thing"she said I was,able to take her with me,luckily she was a good baby,Rose adored her so would keep an eye on her if I was busy"**

**"How long were you there for?"John asked her.**

**"About six months, until Daisy was a year old"**

**Clara,replied. "It was Rose that saw the advert your Aunt put in "The Lady" magazine for a receptionist,I applied for it and got it.**

**There was another girl who was Head Receptionist she left,three years ago your Aunt promoted me..She must have liked me, never minded me bringing Daisy in when she wasn't at school."**

**John kissed her again..."You are very easy to like,so is Daisy"**

**Clara smiled back at him.**

**"She was always talking about you,John"**

**"Oh"**

**"I think ,I knew you before I met you!"**

**Clara paused then looking up at John, from where she was snuggled in his,arms!**

**"Really?" He replied with his chin on her head.**

**"Yes,she is very proud of her Nephew the solicitor,who took after her,she was very upset when your marriage broke down"**

**"Till she met Sue,then I think she wondered what the hell I was on when I married her."He rubbed the back of his neck"I often wondered myself,then I met you,my soul mate!"**

**Clara smiled at that.**

**"I liked you soon as I met you,but thought you hated me"**

**"I didn't hate you,I was frightened to get hurt again,though I think if Daisy hadn't come to the hotel that day..."**

**"I think we would have found another way, your Aunt would have pushed us in the right direction"**

**She shivered and John put his arms further around her.**

**"Are you cold?" The sun's gone now I think we should head back,don't want you catching cold,especially not now"**

**"Hmm,time to go,it's nearly Five, I want to ring Daisy and my Dad."**

**John took her hand,pulling her to her feet,then put his arm round her again.**

**"I'm not going to fall over" she laughed.**

**He pouted at her,"I like looking after you"**

**It only took them ten minutes to walk back to the flat.**

** John opened the door,the phone was ringing. It might be his Aunt as he said he would ring her about now.**

**Picking up the receiver he said.**

**"Hello"**

**"John,is that you ,mate...Where have you been,I've tried to get you all afternoon,don't you answer your mobile"**

**It was Rory.**

**"Rory? Thought I was ringing you tomorrow when I got the papers."**

**Looking at Clara...**

** "Haven't used my mobile since I came here,not even sure if it's charged...What's the problem?"**

**He pulled up suddenly..."Is,Amy okay?"**

**"She's fine,but I think you will have to sit down...it's Sue"**

**"Oh what does she want now?"John said.**

** "I thought everything was settled!**

**"No,its not that...Are you sitting down?"**

**"Oh for GOD SAKE! RORY... tell me!"**

**Clara was stood next to him in the hall listening.**

**"She's been in a car crash...she's dead John...!**

**A/N**

**Said it would be a big shock for John,didn't I ?**

**So what next for them now? PLEASE read and I will post the next Chapter soon.**

** THANK YOU.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 26**

**John was staring at the phone in his hand.**

**All Clara could hear was Rory's**** voice on the other end.**

**"John, Are you there,talk to me! John!"**

**Clara touched John's face,he appeared to be in some sort of daze.**

**"John,what is it? T****ell me, Please"**

**Suddenly he shook himself and seemed to come out of it. Staring at Clara,said.**

** "Sue's dead!"**

**He put the receiver back to his ear.**

**"Sorry,Rory. I dropped the phone. ****What happened?"**

**"She crashed into the wall,near your flat in Chelsea.**

**John,it was your car it's a right off! The police think she was well over the limit"**

**"I don't give a fuck about the car! I don't understand why she would drink and then get behind the wheel,that wasn't Sue!"**

**He was holding Clara's hand with his other one.**

**Rory continued.**

**"She had no family only you,can you come down? I told the police you would go tomorrow and identify her.**

**_Your still her next of kin,John.**

**They wanted to come and get you,but I told them you were in the middle of a messy divorce,and I would tell you"**

**"I'll borrow my Aunts car,come down tonight,can you_"**

** He started to say,he was cut off by Clara,taking the phone from him.**

**"Rory,it's Clara,we'll both come down,is that okay?"**

**"Course,it is"**

**He returned back.**

**"John shouldn't be on his own"**

**"We will put you up,no problem,what about Daisy,maybe you should leave her with John's,Aunt?"**

**"Its okay,she's staying with her Grandfather at the moment,long story,we'll explain when we get to you in a few hours,bye!" **

**She hung up the phone.**

**Clara looked over at John and held her arms out to him,he promptly burst into tears as she held him.**

**"Sue's dead" was all he said. Pulling away from her,wiping his face with his hand.**

**"I know"**

**She replied,leading the way into the lounge.**

**"You were together four years,you must have felt something for her?"**

**Sitting on the sofa,next to her John suddenly said.**

**"Should I care though"**

** turning to look at her.**

**"She put me through hell,especially these last few months,but I didn't want this to happen!"**

**He paused then,"Maybe,it's punishment,for being happy"**

**"What?_"Clara started to say,not believing what she was hearing.**

**"Since my parents died things happen, not nice things not for me"**

**He was hugging himself, rocking.**

**Clara decided enough was enough,turning she slapped him across the face!**

**"JOHN SMITH! How dare say that! What about me! Daisy!"**

**S****he grabbed his hand put it on her stomach. THIS!"**

**"Are you going to get like this every time something goes wrong,doesn't go your way! After everything you said to me this afternoon,because,because."**

** She was getting tearful now.**

**"We are not going to make it!"**

**Running from the room he heard the bedroom door slam.**

**"Clara!"**

** His face stinging from the slap, it had brought him to his senses.**

**"God,why did he say that! ****Didnt mean to! He was getting over it.**

**Now he had upset Clara again!**

**"Clara_"**

**He shot off the sofa and into the hall,pausing could hear her sobbing through the bedroom door.**

**Going into the bedroom,Clara was lay on the bed with her back to the door,she had heard him come in.**

**Without turning round said.**

**"What do you want John? Cause I don't know anymore!"**

**She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand,John sat on the bed next too her and handed her his hankie.**

**"Its you I want and Daisy" **

**He put his hand on her stomach."The baby to. I'm sorry for what I said before,don't even know why I said it.**

**Things are better.I have no excuse,please forgive me?"**

**He took her hand."I meant everything I said to you this,afternoon,l love you"**

**Clara touched his face where there were the imprints of her fingers in the red mark on his cheek.**

**"Did I do that,I'm sorry"**

**"No,I deserved it!" He kissed her fingers.**

**"John,we have to get ready to go to Rory and Amy' will have to ring your Aunt and tell her what's happened,I'll ring my Dad,it might be as well he took Daisy"**

**She went to get off the bed.**

**"When this is over, still have lots to talk about!"**

**" I know and we will I promise.I'll just go and ring my Aunt,okay?"**

**By seven,they were in John's Aunts car on the way to London.**

**He had spoken to her when he had gone to pick up the car.**

** He left to return to Clara,she hugged him and wondered how much more he could take,what else could happen?**

**"Ring,me tomorrow,John,let me know what's happening? Love to Amy and Rory"**

**"I'll tell them,bye Auntie"**

**He waved as he pulled away.**

**Clara had spoken to her Dad,telling him what had happened.**

**Daisy told her that she was having a lovely time with Grandad,he had lots,of trips planned to different places in London.**

**"We're going on the "Millennium wheel Mummy and to the science museum! I've read all your books and played with your doll house"**

**Clara,smiled at that.**

**"That's,lovely sweetie,there yours now to play with"**

**John and me will be in London visiting his friends. Be a good girl for Grandad and I will see you soon,put Grandad back on,I love you so does John"**

**"Bye,Mummy,glad your feeling better" **

**Her Dad came back on the line.**

**"Clara,are you sure your well enough to cope with this?"**

**"Dad,I feel fine now,John needs me,if I don't go,I will just fret about him. Don't tell Daisy why we are going,she thinks we are visiting Amy and Rory for a few days. Not why"**

**"You may have to keep her longer than this week,would you mind? John will have to sort out the funeral"**

**"She had no family?" He said.**

**"No only,John and as their still married,he's her next of kin"**

**She heard John's key in the door,then.**

**"Must go Dad,he's back,love you,ring you in couple of days, let you know what's happening. Bye"**

**"Bye,love,look after each other"**

**At eight they were nearly there,Amy and Rory lived not far from Johns flat in Chelsea.**

**Pulling up outside a white bricked house,he got their bags from the boot.**

**Ringing the door bell there was a thunder of feet on the hallfloor.**

**The door was flung open and a red headed blur jumped on John.**

**"Oh,you're here. it's so good to see you,Rageddy Man!"**

**" Pond,you still weigh a ton,get down!"**

**John pretending to stagger.**

**Rory came up behind them.**

**"Hi,Rory,permission to kiss your wife?"**

**"Permission,granted!"**

**John kissed Amy and hugged her.**

**"Its so good too see you too "Pond"**

**slipping into her old nickname as well.**

**Hello,John mate"**

** Shaking his hand,hugged him too.**

**" Hello again,Clara,would you like to come in,if my wife would stop hugging my best friend,for a minute,we could go into the lounge."**

**Clara looked highly amused by the three friends that were in front of her.**

**At the same time thought it was just what John needed to help with what was to lie ahead in the next few days.**

**"Hello again Rory,it's nice to see you to"**

** She looked at Amy,head on onside.**

**"Amelia? Thought it was Amy?"**

**Pointing to John.**

**"It is" She said.**

**"Only he calls me Amelia when he wants to be serious,or tries to be,usually it's,just Pond or Amy.."**

**"Or hey you!"**

**John said then. Tongue in cheek,with a grin.**

**"What was that?"**

**Amy hands on hips,pretending to glare at him.**

**"Did you say something,Raggedy Man?"_**

**" I Like Ameila Pond,very fairy tale" John said.**

**Amy pulled a face at him.**

**"That's better"_**

**Rory shook his head.**

**"See what I have to put up with Clara?"**

**He said then.**

**Do you think you two could continue this argument in the lounge? Then Clara can sit and watch it in comfort!"**

**He took one of the bags from John**

** "Leave them there we'll show you where you will be sleeping later when we've had supper"**

**"You must be hungry,"Amy said.**

**"When did you last eat?"**

**"About three"**

**said John.**

**"We were out having a meal,when you were trying to get hold of me"**

**He looked at the pair in front of him,suddenly putting his arms round both of them.**

**"Oh,it's so good too see you both!"**

**He started to tear up,he pulled away from them.**

**"Ssorry,I need the loo!"**

**He stuttered as he wiped his eyes with his hand and went to go from the room.**

**"Well,you know where,the cloakroom is"**

**Amy called after him.**

**John left the room,Amy looked at Clara saying.**

**"He's not okay is he?"**

**"No" Clara replied she looked at Rory.**

**"Lots of things have happened since you spoke to him a couple of days ago even before Sue"**

**Rory noticed that Clara had gone very pale all of a sudden.**

**"Clara are you alright?"**

**"Think I need to sit down_"**

**She started to sway,Rory came forward to caught her.**

**Helping her sit on the sofa he said.**

** "Amy,get her some water"**

** Clara was just starting to come to again,as she had not passed out completely.**

**Amy came back in with a glass of water**

**"Here,Clara,sip it slowly,she said.**

**"You're not okay either are you?"**

**"No,said Clara,"I'm pregnant!"**

**"John's?" Amy asked.**

**"Of course it 'bloody'is!" Clara replied.**

**"I'm only just two weeks gone.**

**With Daisy having the chicken pox,then we only found out that I was pregnant a couple of days ago.**

**I collapsed with low blood pressure,I've been fine since.**

**John got upset,which is understandable in the circumstances"**

**She looked at the door then back at the couple.**

**"Could I ask you both something?"**

**They nodded.**

**Clara continued.**

**"You both know how he lost his parents?"**

**Amy said.**

**"The car crash,yes, we've known John since he was three"**

**Rory said then.**

** "I know that he played up his Aunt until he settled down when he came to live with my Dad and me in Leadworth"**

**"He told me most of this. Do you know when anything goes wrong in his life,he blames himself saying it's his fault because he had a tantrum in the car at three now he's,being paid back for it!"**

**Amy put her arm round Clara who was now starting to sob,saying.**

**"What can I do?**

**Don't want to lose him. I love him"**

**Amy turned to Rory,nodding to the door.**

**"Could you see what's keeping John? Take the bags up.**

**Clara and me will get the sandwiches and drinks ready for when you come down"**

** Rory took the hint knowing that his wife wanted a quiet word with Clara.**

**Taking her into the kitchen,Amy put the kettle on.**

**"There are sandwiches and cakes ready on that table there under the tea towels just got to make the drinks"**

**"Rory wants a coffee,John as well,there's tea or juice if you would prefer?"**

**"Orange will be fine for me. Amy I'm sorry to drop this all on you both"**

**Amy stopped what she was doing,and went to put both arms round her.**

**"Clara,he's our friend too, we're glad he has you. **

**Even though I shouldn't say it,I wish he had never met that bitch!"**

**Clara's eyes went wide at that. **

**We never liked her,especially me. I tried to for John's sake"**

**Amy looked guilty at that, then shook herself.**

** "You two have found each other. John needs you. No matter what happens,please stay with him.**

**We will help you. Do you think he might need to talk to someone?"**

**"Amy,I'm wondering that myself,I'm so worried that with having to sort all this out with Sue,he is going to crack up and I will lose him!"**

**Amy took a deep breath.**

**"We will sort it,the three of us together"**

** Letting go of Clara then,saying.**

** "Lets take these in on that trolley there"**

**Putting the plates on it with Clara's help.**

**"See if the boys have come back down?"**

**"Thank you,Amy,I don't feel alone now"**

**She hugged her new friend.**

**Rory couldn't find John in the downstairs cloakroom,so going upstairs found him not in the bathroom there either,but in the bedroom that he and Clara where going to sleep in.**

**His eyes looked red as though he had cried.**

**"There you are thought you were up here,as one of your bags was missing from the hall.**

**"B****loody hell John what have you got in here,a pile of bricks!"**

**Rory joked to him,lifting it on the bed.**

**"Its Clara's,she's brought every thing with her"**

**Rory continued.**

**"The girls were wondering where you had got to,their getting on well,think Amy really likes her"**

**John had sat on the bed,so Rory sat down as well. **

**" _Clara's pregnant" John said then.**

**"Yes,she told us. Nearly passed out just now though"**

**"WHAT!"**

**John started off the bed.**

**Rory pulled him back.**

**"She's fine John,it was only for a minute.**

** you both need something to eat and some sleep.**

**Sorry,John,but you look like shit!"**

**"Oh thanks Rory,I can always trust you to cheer me up!"**

**He said back sarcastically.**

**"There is lots to sort out,need to find out happened with Sue"**

**"Tomorrow,I can't tell you anymore than I told you on the phone,I'll take you to the police station tomorrow, then the morgue at eleven"**

**"But!_" John started to say.**

**"Stop it John" Rory said back.**

**"you're upsetting Clara,you know that don't you?"**

**John had the grace to look guilty.**

**Rory pointed to him. In a voice that booked no argument.**

**"I know you John Smith,now you are going to get off that bed come downstairs with me,have something to eat and then get some sleep,right!"**

**John sighed.**

**"Okay I'll just wash my face,really do need the loo,now!"**

**Rory waited while he used the bathroom,as he came out said.**

**"John,you know you can always depend on Amy and me for anything,you've finally got the right one with Clara. The baby and Daisy are the icing on the cake,right? The three of us will get you through this,so don't blow it,right!"**

**John looked slightly affronted at him but didn't comment and followed him back downstairs.**

**In the lounge Clara,was sat in a chair.**

** Trying to eat a sandwich and had a glass of juice in front of her.**

**She was nearly asleep when John and Rory came back into the room.**

** Started when John came over too her and kissed her.**

**"Hello,sweetheart,did you nearly pass out again?" He said sternly.**

**"I'm fine,we'll go to bed soon"**

**Looking at him. Touched his face.**

**John please will you eat something?"**

**She pleaded with him.**

**John wasn't really hungry,but didn't want to upset Clara,so knew he would have to force something down.**

**"I'm going to have some of these sandwiches and then I'm ready for bed as well,did Amy make them?"**

**"Yes,I did" Amy said.**

**"What's wrong with them?" **

**"Just wondering,what's in them"**

**He said peeking under the bread.**

**"Its ham!"_**

**She said standing glaring at him with hands on hips. **

**"What do you think it is Rageddy Man?"**

** Clara giggled at the scene.**

**"Rory do you want to help me make some fresh coffee,anyone would think I was trying to poison him"**

**Amy muttered as ****they both walked to the kitchen.**

**"How is he?" Amy asked when she had him alone.**

**"Did you manage to have a talk with him?" **

**"Amy,I think he is heading for a breakdown,and he needs to speak to someone"**

**"So do Clara and me" Amy said.**

**Pausing then.**

**"We will just have to hope that he holds it together for the next few days,through the funeral,then we'll try and get him to talk to someone.I know how obstinate he can be.I wish he had never met !**

**That_BITCH_"**

**"AMY!"**

**"If he had just met Clara sooner,he might never have got like this!**

** She is good for him,Rory,I like her"**

**"I do too" he said hugging her.**

**Taking the coffee back in,they were not surprised to find Clara fast asleep her head on John's lap.**

**"I'll take her up when I've drunk this" He said ****taking**** the cup of coffee from Amy **

**"Thanks"**

**After he had drunk it, stood and picked up Clara from the sofa.**

**"Will see you both in the morning,thanks for what you are both doing,Sorry we're so tired it has been a long few days."**

**Amy stood,kissed him on the head and then opened the door for him.**

**"Can you manage?"**

**When he nodded she touched him on the cheek saying.**

**"And stop apologising,we'll see you in the morning Raggedy Man.**

**Love you"**

** she whispered as she shut the door behind them.**

**"God, let him be okay," as she started to weep in Rory's arms.**

**A/N**

**Will find out in the next chapter what happened to Sue.**

**Will John get through this,or will he have a breakdown.**

**Next chapter up soon.**

**Please read and REVIEW.**

**Thanks.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 27**

**John woke and looked at the time...7am,it was not quite light. **

**Clara was still sleeping,she had been so tired last night,that she hadn't even woken up when he had undressed her and put her too bed.**

**At the moment,he was a man with a plan,knowing that all three of them were worried about him,he needed to find answers.**

**Rory would take him to the police station later,but he did still have the key to his flat and it was just round the corner from Rory and Amy's.**

**Making up his mind,he got up quietly and got dressed.**

**Clara muttered something in her sleep and turned over,he held his,breath but she didn't move again...heading for the bedroom door,he went out on to the landing and shut the door.**

**The house was quiet Rory and Amy would still be asleep,he hoped,as he knew Amy at least would try to stop him.**

**Going out the front door,he walked quickly down the road and round the corner to his flat. Taking his key out of his jacket pocket,he let himself in.**

**Not sure what,if anything he was looking for he went into the living room.**

**It looked tidy,which was unusual for Sue,as he was always cleaning up after her when they lived together.**

**The bedroom was as well.**

**He held his breath,the last time he had been in here was three weeks,ago when he had found her in bed with Jack! He hit him! had a blazing row,with Sue, then fled to his Aunt's.**

**Back in living room,he sat on the sofa and thought,if he didn't know any better,didn't think that she had been here in the last week at all.**

**They employed a cleaner,once a week,because he worked at Masters and more often than not Sue was away on model jobs,well,up until last week.**

**Even with the cleaner it was too tidy.**

**And as for the car,they both had keys for it.**

**He checked the garage in the mews downstairs.**

**Sue's car was still there,John's Sports car was missing which he expected it to be. Rory had said it was his she had crashed and a write off.**

**John had also seen the wall collapsed at the end of the mews. Was that where she had crashed?**

**Going back upstairs to the flat,he found Rory in the kitchen.**

**"John,there you are!"He said "We were worried"**

**"Why?" He asked.**

**"I'm not a child Rory.I needed to come here find out somethings,have the police been here after the accident?"**

**"No because they didn't know you lived here until I told them and you were away,that's,why I'm taking you to the police station before we go and identify Sue"**

**Rory looked at John's face,it had gone chalk white at the mention of it,and though he seemed calm at the moment,wondered if he would break when the time came for that.**

**"Mate,shall we go back and have some breakfast? It's nearly eight"**

**Rory looking at his watch.**

**"Clara will be waiting,she woke up and wondered where you were.**

**I thought you would come here."**

**"Might as well" He said.**

**"The sooner I sell this place the better"**

**Looking to Rory.**

**"I****t is still mine isn't it?"_**

**"Yes nothing had been signed over,to fact I will have to inform her solicitor of her death and if she didn't leave a will it would go to you anyway.**

**You would have got it back. Don't think it will be much what she left.**

**You both had life insurance?"**

**"Yes"_**

**You don't want to do it up for you and Clara?"**

**John turned round quickly to Rory. It was the wrong thing to say.**

**"NO_I want Clara to have nothing to do with this.I want it sold RIGHT! Everything in it furniture,fixtures as well,not interested."**

**He said in temper as he turned and walked to the door.**

**"Are we going?!"**

**"Okay,okay!"_Rory said.**

**"Calm down,John,you don't want Clara to see you in this mood right? She is a bit queasy this morning"_**

**John's head shot back."**

**Is she alright?**

**"Morning sickness gets,it bad she was telling Amy"**

**She was looking after her when I left,though your in her bad books as well"**

**Warning him of the mood Amy was in. **

**"She had it bad with Daisy as well,the morning sickness"**

**John said.**

**They locked up the flat and walked back to the house.**

**Amy was in the kitchen when they went in,she folded her arms.**

**"Oh,good you found him then," She said sarcastically.**

**"Don't START Amelia!"John rounded on her.**

**"Where else would I go! Clara?"**

**"Sleeping,she started to throw up an hour ago,and it took it out of her! **

**She was upset not because you were not here,she didn't know where you had gone! That's why I'm mad because you snuck out!"**

**"I needed to find out something"**

** He said crossly but he had the grace to look guilty.**

**"What was so important that you needed to find out at that time of the morning?"**

**said Rory.**

**"I would have taken you there later"**

**John pulled his fingers through his hair.**

"**I** **don't need taking,anywhere,I'm not five,need my hand holding!"**

**He started to walk up and down in the kitchen getting agitated. They both looking worried at each other.**

**He sat down on the chair and put his head in his hands.**

**"I'm alright,alright. It's fine_"**

**"John"**

**Said Rory softly.**

**"Don't take this the wrong way,but do you want us to call the Doctor? perhaps you need something to get you through this?"**

**"No,I'm fine"**

**Looking up,then. ****He smiled at them both. **

**"Sorry I worried you,think I'll go see Clara then have a shower before we go to see the police.**

**Getting up from the chair, hugged Amy.**

**"Sorry Pond!"**

**Amy hugged him back. Letting it go_for now.**

**"Okay Raggedy Man, please talk to us if you need anything,right? Don't bottle things up"**

**" Alright" He left the room.**

**Rory looked at her.**

**"What do you make of that?" She said to him.**

**"Not sure. We can't force him to see a Doctor.**

**He seems alright at times,then flips"**

**Rory pulled his hand through his fringe.**

**"He has to decide for himself,what he wants"**

**John came back into the bedroom in his robe after his shower.**

**Toweling his hair dry he noticed Clara was awake and watching him.**

**"Hello" He said sheepish.**

**"John,where did you go? I was worried"**

**"You're cross with me?"**

**Sitting down on the bed.**

**"I was. Not now,if that makes,any sense"**

**she said to him.**

**"Amy told me you went to your flat,did you not want me to come with you?"**

**John had the grace to look guilty.**

**"It wasn't that,Clara" He said.**

**"That part of my life was over, even I wouldn't have seen the flat again" **

**John sighed.**

**" I went to see if there were any clues as to why she crashed my car into the wall outside it"**

**"And was there?"**

**"Didn't really find anything "**

**John continued.**

**"It looked too tidy for even Sue.I wouldn't care what she got up,to with her crashing my car into that wall.I need to know why"**

**"Perhaps you'll find out something when you go to the police with Rory later?" **

**"Maybe"_**

**He took her hand in his.**

**"Clara,I'm not trying to shut you out,I want everything to normal. Not getting upset over my parents,not upsetting you."**

**Suddenly. His face Changed,pulling..away from her.**

**He was sat with his head in his hands,shaking.**

**"I'm alright,alright!"**

**"John,are you Okay?"**

**She put her arms round him.**

**"Please let me get Rory? You're ill.**

**It must be the shock of what happened with Sue?"**

**At the mention of that..**

**"No! I'm fine" He pulled away from her.**

**Standing up.**

**"I've already had this conversation with Rory and Amy,they want me to see a Doctor,get,pills.**

**No way,I can cope,just need to find out what happened with Sue then we can get on with our lives"**

**He started to get dressed,saying.**

**"Do you need anything,sweetheart? Breakfast or a drink or something?"**

**"No thanks,I will get up soon, have something then,still feel a little sick,but it will pass"**

**He kissed her and said.**

**"I'm sorry we haven't had a cuddle yet,What with everything"**

**John trailed off..**

**"I know"**

**She said touching his face"**

**Don't worry we've got plenty of time,go and have some breakfast before you go with Rory.I love you"**

**She kissed him back.**

**He went to the door she said.**

**"John,changed my mind. I will have some dry toast,and tea,let Amy bring it up because I want you to eat something before you go out okay?"**

**"I can do it " He said puzzled."Why Amy?"**

**" Girl talk,she's excited about the baby,we were talking about it then I started to throw up"**

**She said lightly. **

**"We can finish our conversation"**

**"Oh,right,I'll get her,see you later"**

**He went downstairs thinking Clara wanted the company while he was going out.**

**Clara hated lying to him.**

**Needed to see Amy before Rory took him to the police station.**

**She wanted to let them know he had got slightly upset it seemed as though something had happened with them too,from what John let slip.**

**Amy came into the room with a tray of tea and toast.**

**"I'm excited about the baby,apparently"**

**She said putting the tray on the bedside table.**

**"Or to quote Raggedy man.."Go and finish your baby talk with Clara now she's finished throwing up"**

**"Sorry Amy,but I didn't know how to get you up here with out to much suspicion from John"**

**Clara sat up in the bed.**

**"Their not going yet are they? I really need to speak to Rory as well"**

**"No in about half an hour"**

**She returned.**

**"Is everything alright?"**

**Clara shook her head.**

**"I'll get Rory up here." **

**She went to the top of the stairs and shouted.**

**Rory was just enjoying his second piece of toast. John was trying to eat his first though he didn't really want it, he had promised Clara he would eat something.**

**An irate voice floated down the stairs.**

**"Oi,stupid face,it was your turn to make the bed.**

**Get up here now,you don't get out of it because you had to go looking for him!"**

**John looked at him trying to keep a straight face and mouthed.**

** "Sorry mate"**

**Resigned,Rory,walked upstairs to where Amy was waiting for him.**

**"Hang on,it was my turn yesterday!" **

**He said realising.**

**"Shussh!"**

**Amy said dragging him into the guest bedroom.**

**"Clara wants a word with us"**

**"Why the cloak and dagger stuff?"**

**Rory said. Puzzled.**

**"Because she worried about Raggedy Man aren't you?"**

**Amy looked over at Clara.**

**"Yes" She replied.**

**"He was telling me about going to the flat talking about Sue,his parents,wanting things to go back to normal?"**

**She looked at them.**

**Rory nodded.**

**"He started to shake,holding his head saying.**

**'I'm alright,I'm alright"**

**"I wanted to get you Rory he wouldn't let me,then seemed to snap out of it.**

**He's not well is he?"**

**Rory looked at Amy.**

**"He did the same with us downstairs when I brought him back from the flat.**

** I suggested a,Doctor he insisted he was fine"**

**He looked at both women.**

**"We can't make him,if he doesn't want to"**

**Amy looked at him then.**

**"What if he collapses while your identifying her?"**

**"I hope it doesn't come to that, if it does then the three of us will have to try and persuaded him then right?" **

**He touched Clara's hand.**

**" Don't worry,I will look after him"**

**She gave him a weak smile.**

**"I know you will"**

**A voice then shouted upstairs.**

**"Oi Pond,I know why you wanted him upstairs.**

**Make the bed my foot,put him down,its time to go Rory!"**

**"I'm SO. Going to kill him!" **

**Amy said as Rory and Clara grinned at her.**

**Clara put on her dressing gown,then the three of them went downstairs.**

**John grinned at Clara.**

**"Hello,are you feeling better?"**

**Clara put her arms round him.**

**"Yes,think I am,will be even better when today's over and your back here with me"**

** she kissed him.**

**"Please look after yourself,John"**

**With her arms round his neck whispered.**

**"Try not to get upset,okay!"**

**John nodded at her and then said,to Rory.**

**"Let's go and get this sorted"**

**Amy said.**

**"Go on. I'll give,Clara some breakfast,you must be hungry you hadly ate anything last night"**

**John pushed Clara towards Amy.**

**"The sooner we're gone,sooner you get me back"**

**Rory took him out to his car.**

**"Right police station first,then the hospital"**

**"Will we have to go to the funeral home today?" **

**John asked him.**

**"We might have to go tomorrow,you can tell the hospital which one you want to release her too though"**

**Rory pulled away from the curb.**

**John was,quiet on the journey to the police station which took about twenty minutes.**

**Getting there just before eleven Rory parked up the car and got out.**

**John just sat there,he didn't seem to realise they were there.**

**"John,we're here" He said.**

**"What! .Oh yes"**

**Getting out as Rory locked the car,he followed him up the police station steps into to the reception.**

**The police sergeant on duty said.**

**" Can,I help up you both?"**

**"Yes,I'm Rory Williams,this is John Smith,we'd like to see Detective Constable Campbell please,he should be expecting us"**

**"Right" said the officer.**

**"If you will come this way and wait in his office,I will tell him your here"**

**He showed them into a room to the side of the reception and went away again.**

**John sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk,Rory said to him,and put a hand on his shoulder.**

**"Okay,John?"**

**"Fine"**

**The door opened,and a dark haired man about thirty walked in.**

**"Mr Williams,nice to see you again,or maybe not in the,circumstances"**

**He turned to John.**

**"Mr Smith,your a very hard man to track down"**

**"Oh" John said,sarcastically.**

**"Didn't realise I was missing!"**

**"John_" Rory said warningly.**

**Knowing anything could set him off at the moment.**

**"My condolences,about your wife" He said then.**

**"Have you found out anything about what happened?"**

**Rory asked the officer.**

**"We have a Mr Jack Harkness in custody"**

**"WHAT!"**

**Said John looking between Rory and the officer.**

**"WHY! I don't understand"**

**"Mr Smith,I understand you were estranged from your wife,under going a divorce?"**

**" Yes,what as that to do with anything"**

**"Did you know your wife was taking drugs,provided by Mr Harkness? Did he also supply you?"**

**"WHAT! NO HE BLOODY DIDN'T !"**

** John,****standing up so quickly that the chair he had been sitting on fell backwards,he nearly went flying with it.**

**"Just what am I being accused of here?"**

**Hands on the desk in front of him.**

**Then looked back at Rory,who was open mouthed at first but said to the officer.**

**"Now just a minute,John had no idea about this and if you want a blood test,he will provide one"**

**He looked to John for conformation of this.**

**John nodded."Too bloody right,I will"**

**The officer smiled,and said.**

**" There will be no need for that,Mr Smith we have had Mr Harkness in our sights for sometime now we know you weren't involved,your reaction proves that!"**

**He paused looking over at John.**

**"Your wife is another matter,she was high on drink and drugs,which is why she crashed your car. I'm very sorry for your loss,we will be taking no action against you of course"**

**"So he can go then"**

**said Rory.**

**"He still as too go and identify his wife "**

**"Of course,I won't keep you any longer"**

**Shaking Rory's hand,John stared at him.**

**Rory took John's arm steering him out of the office.**

**As they got into the car,John exploded.**

**"WHAT,the FUCK !...I COULD KILL JACK FOR THIS...!"**

**"John,calm down please,Your going to have a breakdown!"**

** Rory said to him.**

**"We,have to go, sort out about Sue now"**

**John had tears in his eyes.**

**"She was a druggie Rory,and I never knew.**

**How thick and stupid am I?"**

**Rory put his arms round him,heard him say.**

**"I did love her. In the beginning,think l never really knew her"**

**He pulled away from Rory and wiped his eyes.**

**Rory looked at him and said.**

**"You have Clara,You know what you want with her?"**

**"Oh,yes,she is my soul mate.."**

**"Then you'll be okay"**

**Patting his hand.**

**"Shall we go and finish this?"**

**Taking a deep breath John said **

**"Right!"**

**Pulling out of the car park,Rory drove him to the hospital where they sorted out the formalities.**

** He went in with John,as he didn't want him to go in alone.**

**He also arranged to have Sue moved to the Crossroads Funeral Home ****the next day.**

**They both could tell it was her,apart from a few bruises.**

**"You would have thought she was asleep"**

**John told him on the way home.**

**It was about three when they arrived back at Rory and Amy's.**

**Amy and Clara were in the lounge,Amy standing up from where she was sitting saying to him.**

**"How did it go? What happened?"**

**"So many,questions,Pond!_"**

**John looked over at Rory.**

**"Will you tell them what.."**

**_Was as far as he got before dropping in a dead faint to the floor.**

**"JOHN!" Clara cried out.**

**"Fuck it! John_!**

**"Raggedy Man!"**

**They all rushed over to him.**

**A/N**

**Poor John,think that everything is catching up with him.**

**Still as to get through the funeral. There is also Clara's pregnancy to cope **** things will get better for them soon.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 28**

**John came back to consciousness on his bed.**

**Clara was looking at him with tears in her eyes.**

**He sat up, the room tilted.**

**"Careful!"said Rory grabbing for him.**

**"You don't want to fall out of bed..John"**

** He laid him back against the pillows.**

**"How did I get here?" John said confused.**

**"You passed out in the lounge,after we got back" Rory said.**

**"Amy and me managed to get you up to bed " Rory continued.**

**"Where's Pond?"**

**Rory looked at Clara,knowing John was not going to like what he was going to say next.**

**"She's downstairs,ringing the Doctor"**

**"WHAT! I said NO Doctors!" John started to sit up again.**

**Rory held him down.**

**"STOP this! John enough is enough! you're upsetting Clara"**

**Clara held his hand.**

**"Please,John,see the Doctor,if not for me for the baby"**

**The tears were pouring down her cheeks!" she pleaded with him. **

**John could not stand to see her cry,wiping some of the tears away with his fingers said,**

**"Okay,okay,you win...!"**

**Amy came back into the room.**

**"Back with us then?...**

**...****Dr David is coming see you,R****aggedy**** Man, you know him"**

**John gave her a look.**

**"What is he still playing up,even after face planting in my living room? Clara shall we make the coffee while Rory helps him into his ****P****.Js .Think we need it after lugging his heavy body up all those stairs!"**

**"Oi!" John returned.**

**Rory smiled at Clara.**

**"Go, you can come back to sit with him when he's in bed"**

**"Kay" she replied following Amy out the room.**

**Turning back to John,he said.**

**"John will you stop sulking, let me help you get undressed" Rory said.**

**"I'm not!" he sat up on the bed,as Rory helped him into his pyjamas.**

**"Doing this under protest"**

**Rory raised an eyebrow at that.**

**When he was back in bed. He to him.**

**"Look John,this as gone far enough...you want to marry Clara?"**

**"Course I do!"John said.**

**"Well,the way your carrying on,you're going to kill yourself first!"**

**"Now hang on a minute,Rory!"...he started to say...**

**Rory rounded on him...**

**"Shut up,John,...I'm talking,**** YOU,are going to listen for once. Do as your told!" **

**John opened,then closed his mouth, didn't say anymore.**

**Rory went on.**

**"When the Doctor comes we are going to tell him everything that as gone on...right? If he gives,you pills like bullets,you are going to take them, no arguments.I MEAN IT! Didn't hear what you said,John "**

**"Yes",John said quietly, sighing.**

**"I'll do as,I'm told"...**

**"Good." Rory said.**

**"I'll get Clara,to come and sit with you" He patted his hand.**

** " Go to sleep,you look knackered"**

**Walking on to the landing, shuting the door.**

**Amy was,stood just outside.**

**She touched his,face.**

**"Well done you! I was going to come back in when I heard you read him the riot act. Thats the first time I've ever known him do as he's told!"**

**She opened the door.**

**John was fast asleep.**

**Amy smiled kissing Rory, shut it again.**

**"I love you stupid face...Lets go and tell Clara,what you did!"**

**Clara was sat at the kitchen table,with a cup of tea in her hand. She looked up as the couple came in.**

**"How is he,Rory?"**

**"He's asleep,for now"**

**Clara got up to go upstairs to see him.**

**"Finish your tea,Clara,he's not going anywhere,we will hear him if he calls out"**

** Rory said.**

**Amy made them all a sandwich,**

**"When the Doctor comes,we need to tell him how he's been,the panic attacks,everything,all that has happened." She said to them both.**

**"Finding out about Jack, the drugs as well as Sue set this off"**

** Rory said. He had told them what had happened at the police station.**

**"Clara,I know you have only known him a few weeks you have noticed things as well?"**

**Yes "she replied.**

** "He also blames himself for his parents death"**

**Pausing said.**

**"He seems to cope,then**** when things go wrong seems to think he deserves nothing nice to happen. Like meeting me,Daisy. Even the baby" **

**She put her hand on her stomach.****..**

**"I had a big fight with him before we came here over this" She said tearful.**

**Looking at them both.**

**"He is wonderful though,taking on my problems,helping me make it up with my Dad."**

**"Is that who Daisy is,staying with?"Amy asked.**

**"Yes, he disown me before she was born, John helped us make it up now,he is getting to know his,Granddaughter"**

**Smiling at the couple.**

**"I will also have to tell you about the day Daisy came out of school because she was being bullied...**

**...The day she met John"**

**"John helped with that?" Rory said.**

**" Yes"**

**Clara,smiled at that.**

**"I'll tell you another time. I want to go up and sit with him"**

**Rory smiled at her,as she got up.**

**"Your sure you have only known each other two weeks? So much seems to have happened to you both"**

**Pausing near the door,Clara said.**

**"John can make good things happen" sighing "I just wish he believed in himself.**** I'll go and see how he is?"**

**She went out the door.**

**"Well,"Amy said," if anyone can sort him out,Clara can!"**

**Upstairs John was still asleep. Clara sat, pushed his fringe gently away from his eyes.**

** Thinking as before,he looked younger when he was sleeping.**

**He was started to mutter to himself.**

**"Mummy,please don't want to go !" He seemed to be dreaming.**

**"Sush,****go back to sleep" Clara stroked his face...trying to calm him as she would Daisy.**

**"Its okay,baby" he seemed to settle,then suddenly his eyes shot open, he sat up in the bed crying out.**

**"NO NO..!"**

**He started Screaming..."PLEASE...ARRH..!"**

**"LEAVE ME ALONE...!"**

**Clara climbed on the bed, trying to put her arms round him.**

**"John,love,come on,it's Clara! Please."**

**He was fighting with her.**

**Rory hurried in then with Amy. Taking in the situation,tried to help Clara with him. Hurried over to the couple on the bed.**

**"John,come on mate!"**

**Looking at Clara and thinking about the baby, said.**

**"John's in a nightmare,watch out he doesn't hurt you. Clara,be careful love!" **

**John pushed her away."No...go...way! Not naughty..!"**

**"Clara!"**

**Amy cried as she fell to the floor.**

**Rory,grabbed John by the shoulders.**

**"Stop it John,enough is enough!"**

** He shook him gently...the tears were coming thick, fast now,he was getting worried about him.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry,!" He was crying harder.**

** "Want my Mummy" then "Daddy!" Sounding so lost.**

**Not knowing what else to do,Rory climbed on to the bed with him, rocking him,stroking his head.**

**"Its alright...okay...hush now John !"**

**Amy picked up Clara from the floor.**

**" Its alright, I'm not hurt"she was looking across at John.**

**He had not really woken as Rory rocked him seemed to be settling back into sleep.**

**" Rory?" Amy said.**

**He put his finger to his lip.**

**Making sure John had settled back down before climbing off the bed. They walked over too the window. Rory rested his head on the pane of glass,then looked up at both women.**

**"Nightmare" he said "he wasn't here,it was though he was a frightened three year old again"**

**Looking over at John,then back to the girls.**

**"He was just like that when he came to live with us,my Dad use to have to go into him at night...he would cry out in his sleep. God...I had forgotten! until now" **

**...Amy said.**

**"Rory,it was thirty years ago...perhaps this is for the best? Maybe we are,getting him the help he needs now if the Doctor puts him on some medication****? It should help him right?"**

**He looked back across at John who was now calm again.**

**"He needs something,we can't go on like this, we've got the funeral to get through,I can sort out the arrangements, knowing John he will want to go,even if he hated her,she was his wife...he looked over at Clara.**

**"Are you alright? Didn't hurt you did he?"**

**"No,only my dignity,"she said rubbing her behind.**

**Rory said.**

** "We should wake him,see how he is,the Doctor will be here soon.**

**When he comes , I'll have a word with him before I bring him up too see John."**

**He walked over to the bed,touched John on the shoulder.**

**" John mate! time to wake-up"**

**"Hmmm Clara!?" John moaned.**

**"Hardly" Rory smiled. " But she's here"**

**"Raggedy Man,put my husband down!"Amy joked.**

**"Come on John wake-up,open your eyes for me" Rory said.**

**"...Too early,having a lie in,go away..."He sounded normal,just awkward"**

**"Let me try"Clara said.**

**"John how about a cuddle?" His eyes,shot open.**

**Seeing Rory and Amy stood with her...**

**"What,not doing it with an audience,maybe later tonight"**

** He shut his eyes again. Clara giggled.**

**"John Smith,stop it!...open your eyes." **

**He did and smiled at her yawning**

**"Hello! sweetheart,what time is it,?"**

**"6 o clock" Amy said."we're waiting for Dr David,he should be here to see you soon.**

**John pulled a face,**

**"I thought you had forgotten about that."**

**"John,!"**

**said Rory,**

**"Behave yourself! what I said to you before still stands...which is",he prompted...**

**"I do as am told, take the pills when I'm given them"**

**He sighed. "You're bossy you are Rory Williams"**

**"Comes of being a solicitor"**

**He walked to the door,**

**"Amy and me will wait downstairs for the the Doctor,"**

**" I'll bring you some soup and bread up Raggedy Man,you need to eat"**

**Amy said to him.**

**"Don't want anything...I'm not hungry,"**

**"John,you have had one sandwich,one piece of toast since we got here.**

**You must try,for me please?"Clara said.**

**"Oh alright...!" he sounded obstinate.**

**Amy said,"I've got tomato your favourite.I'll go,heat it up.**

**She went downstairs with Rory.**

**Getting the soup out of the cupboard she opened it to put in the pan.**

**"Well,he seemed okay "she said,"Do you think he remembers any of it" she said as she stirred the soup on the stove.**

**"Shouldn't think so" **

**Rory said as he buttered some bread and put it on a plate.**

**"He never did before,then he was only three Amy"**

**"He may still have to speak to someone about what happened .The Doctor will put him on medication, it looks as though he has been bottling things up for a long time...**

**...This thing with Sue, the drugs brought it to a head. I think"**

**Putting the soup and bread on a tray,with a glass of Orange juice,Amy took it upstairs putting it on John's lap.**

**"There you go,Raggedy Man" John pulled a face.**

**"Don't really want anything,not hungry"**

**He picked up the spoon, pushed it round the bowl.**

**"Don't play with it,eat it!"**

**Amy took the spoon from him.**

**All of a sudden John threw,the tray away from him.**

**"NO NO! Don't want it...go ...way!"**

**He sounded like a petulant child!**

**Amy looked startled at the change in him.**

**"John! " Clara said **

**"What's the matter?"**

**She reached over to him,he cowered away from her,falling out of the bed then crawled into the corner of the room.**

**He started hugging, rocking.**

**"No,No,No,...!"**

**Amy,said in panic**

** " I'll get Rory,"**

**She dashed out of the room.**

**"Rory" she yelled from the top of the stairs.**

**"Get up here now!"**

**Rory appeared in the hall.**

**"What's the matter"?**

**"It's,John,he seemed to have gone like he was before"**

** Seeing the panic in her face,taking the stairs two at a time.**

**When he got into the bedroom John was in the corner curled up away from Clara.**

**"John please,sweetheart"**

**she was,pleading with him.**

**John was saying,**

**" Not naughty, Don't smack me! ...No,no,no!" Tears were pouring down his face.**

**Rory got down next to John **

**"Johnnie,come on you're not in trouble,no one is going to smack you"**

**John looked at him in a daze.**

**"Daddy!?" **

**He didn't seem to know it was Rory...**

**He was crying, terrified.**

**"Yes,it is ...come on,let's get you to bed...**

**Mummy is tired too" **

**He looked at Clara.**

**"Turn the bed down Mummy", luckily none of the soup had gone on the sheets.**

**Amy was cleaning up near the door, watching how Rory was coping with John.**

**Clara turned down the bed. Watching as Rory helped John get up from the floor leading him to the bed.**

**"That's a good boy Johnnie " he laid him down in the bed.**

**"Mummy will stay with you until you go to sleep...right Mummy?" Clara nodded at Rory, taking over,stroking his head saying,**

**" Go to sleep,sweetheart,it's alright now"**

**John was still crying slightly.**

**"Don't cry,hush now...!" His breathing evened out,he was asleep.**

**Rory looked at Clara,letting out the breath he was holding.**

**"Well Done!"**

**She looked at him..."what's going on Rory why is he like this?"How come he thought you were his,Dad...why Johnnie?"**

**Rory pushed his hand through his hair looked from Amy to Clara.**

**"I think he is,going back to his, childhood because of this trauma he has had with Sue today...**

**...My Dad called him Johnnie,he probably thought I was him...**

**...Anything could set him off,did you say or do anything?"**

**Amy said.**

**" It could have been my fault,I told him off for not eating the soup, playing with it..Sorry..."**

**He closed his eyes.**

**"Wish that bloody Doctor would get here.I think we need to get him on the anti depression tablets,they could help,you might still get 'John or Johnnie'**

**...We won't know until he's on them a few days...**

**...He will still maybe have to speak to some one about his childhood"**

**"Do you mean a psychiatrist?"Clara asked.**

**"Yes,would that bother you,Clara?"**

**"No!l love him too,much for that,I knew he had problems from day one,I will stand by him course I will"**

**Downstairs the doorbell rang.**

**"That must be the Doctor," he said,"I'll go and let him in explain what's,happened before I bring him up"**

**Down the stairs,Rory answered the door.**

**On the step stood a middle aged man with a Doctor's bag.**

**"Doctor David..."He started to say when he realised who it was.**

**"Rory Williams,I thought I recognised the address,not the name."John Smith?"**

**"He is one of your patients he lives at, he gave the address of John's flat.**

**My friend,he's staying with us,when he was taken ill."**

**"That John Smith I haven't seen him much over this year,he looked at his notes,we have a report, the death of ...Susan Smith,his wife?"**

**"Yes ,it is come in Doctor. He should have realised that the hospital would inform the surgery about Sue as it must have been hers too.**

**Rory took him into the lounge,Doctor David looked round puzzled.**

**"He's not here?"**

**"I will take you up to see him in a moment,we have had a few ...problems with him" Rory said.**

**He started to tell him what had happened to John in the last few hours...**

**Upstairs, Amy sat with Clara waiting for Rory to bring the Doctor up to see John.**

**"I'm sorry about the carpet" Clara said looking at the stain near the door.**

**"Don't worry about that,it will shampoo..bet he won't even remember throwing it...the tray."**

**There was a soft moan,from the bed.**

**"John!"Clara rushed over to the bed."sweetie"**

**"Clara,my head,I've got a splitting headache."**

**She looked at Amy,thinking it not surprising with all the emotions that he must have been through in the last few hours said,**

**"The Doctor's here now,he will give you something for it"**

**Rory came into the room then followed by Doctor David.**

**" You know Amy..."This is Clara,John's fiancee,who I was telling you about."**

**"Hello",Clara said to him.**

**The Doctor walked over to the bed.**

**Rory helped John sit up.**

**"Hello John,I understand you have had a bad time in the last few days?"**

**John nodded at him.**

**He continued,"I'm going to give you some mild anti depression tablets I want you to take one now, one tonight."**

**John pulled his face at that,"Don't like pills" he said.**

**"I know,they will make you feel better, get you through the next few days"**

**The Doctor was saying.**

**"Now I'm also going to get you a appointment at the hospital to speak to a Doctor there."**

**"I'm not a "nut job" John replied.**

**"I know I've got problems,I can talk to Clara" Taking her hand in his.**

**"You can talk to us both,you want to get better don't you, John?"**

**she put his hand on her stomach."For the baby?"**

**"For the baby..."He smiled at that,his head feeling slightly better now.**

**The Doctor handed the prescription to Rory.**

**"Make sure he takes the pills"**

**Rory nodded.**

**"Any problems ring the surgery,taking them should help with the trauma.I will get that appointment for him as soon as I can, he should talk to someone,from what you told me"**

**Turning back to John.**

**"Well goodbye John,hope to see you well,soon. I won't see you again,maybe because you've moved to Tadchester,I believe? We'll transfer your notes on to there.**

**Bye Clara, you look after him?"**

**"I will,"she smiled at him"Thank you!"**

**Rory said,**

**"See you out,Doctor...**

**...Going to get this Amy"**

** walking down the stairs,he said to Rory,**

**"That is an unusual young woman,she is just what he needs I think?"**

**"Oh,yes," smiled Rory.**

**"Clara can get him to do things he doesn't want.**

**Thank you Doctor."**

**As he left.**

**Rory went to the chemists to get the prescription for John,he thought.**

**'Yes,Clara was the best thing that happened for John'...They just had to get him through the next few,days, get Sue's funeral over with.**

**When he got back John was,Sat up eating a sandwich.**

**Rory went up to him with a glass of water in one hand a pill in the other.**

**"Good", he said "you can have this now you have had something to eat"**

**John pulled a face, took the pill, swallowed it.**

**He put his tongue out at Rory.**

**"See,it's gone,bossy boots"**

**Rory grinned back at him."Okay,I believe you" he held his hands up in surrender.**

**He went to go back downstairs.**

**John said."Rory..."**

**Rory turned back round from the door,"Yes?"...**

**"Thank you for looking after me...now and when we were little..."**

**He walked back up to the bed gave John a hug...**

**"You are,quite welcome,after all we are family,you,me and Amy...**

**...We have to get you well so you can marry Clara and add her,Daisy,the baby to the mix...**

**...Now get some sleep"**

**"What about ,the funeral? when will we sort that out?"**

**"Tomorrow..we will do it tomorrow."**

**Rory pulled his pillows down.**

**"Get some sleep John "**

**He yawned, closing his eyes.**

**"Hmm... night,Rory..."**

**Rory went downstairs,Amy was preparing the supper,Clara,was sat on the sofa in the lounge half asleep.**

**"How is he,?"Amy turned round from the stove,**

**"Asleep I hope?"**

**said Rory "I'm knackered !"**

** looking over at Amy.**

**"But, I'd do it all again."**

**Amy put her arms round him.**

**"Come here you"she kissed him.**

**"Do you think he will have a nightmare tonight?"**

**"He could do, will cross that bridge if we have too"**

**He held Amy too him,**

**"We will have to be there,for Clara,if he does"**

**He watched her from the doorway.**

**"She looks exhausted!"**

**"She is"**

**Returned Amy,**

**"I will try get her to go to bed when we have eaten,I'll dish up if you tell her suppers ready..."**

**Rory walked into the lounge, touching Clara on the arm...**

**"Hey...You okay?"**

**She jumped slightly.**

**"Sorry" he said " didn't mean to make you jump" noticing there were tracks of tears on her face.**

**" Clara,he will be fine,might take a few days,he will get there."**

**"Sorry,Rory,just being silly"she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.**

**He pulled out a hankie from his pocket,saying.**

**"Here,it's,clean"**

** Clara dissolved into fresh tears then throw,herself in to his arms...Amy came in to put the supper on the table.**

**"Rory,What did you do!"**

**He shook his head at her.**

**"Nothing. I gave her my hankie"**

**"Sorry,Amy,I didn't mean to cry all over your husband"**

**Moving away from Rory,then blowing her nose.**

**"When he did...reminded me of something John said...did before we came here"**

**She wiped her eyes.**

**"Sorry Rory"**

**"Clara,you don't have too keep apogising, for being you,come on, have something to eat"**

**They went and sat at the table.**

**"Its chicken and salad" said Amy.**

**"Very nice,"Clara replied "I'm starving.**

**She made short work of the meal which pleased Amy,as she didn't think she would get Clara to eat anything worried as,she was,about John.**

**Rory went to make coffee and a tea for Clara,which she seemed to be drinking lots of since she got pregnant.**

**"Amy,"she said too her,**

**"Yes"**

**"Why do you call John,Raggedy Man?" she continued.**

**Amy grinned at that..." Now that's a story..."**

**Continuing.**

**"...it's because when he came back to Leadworth,at first he wouldn't get washed,or dressed wouldn't talk to anyone,but Rory and me...**

**...He looked really scruffy...like no one cared for him..."**

**Amy looked wishful,remembering back to that time.**

**"...The name, sorted of stuck!"**

**Clara said,"His Aunt told me how difficult he was just after his parents were killed...**

**...She couldn't do anything with him."**

**Rory came back in then with the drinks, hearing the end of their conversation.**

**"My Dad was very good with him,we had lost my Mum the year before, he thought it would be good for me too have the company as well"**

**"Oh,Rory,I didn't realise you never said anything"**

**Said Clara,upset for him.**

**He shrugged his,shoulders."Suppose I didn't hurt as much as John did,then we were only three. I forgot...John seems to have forgotten even more which is why it seems,to be coming out now."**

**Clara smothered a yawn.**

**"Sorry" she at them both.**

**"You should get some rest" Rory said.**

**"Hopefully he might sleep through with out a nightmare"**

**He kissed Clara on the forehead as he got up to help Amy clear the table.**

**"Sleep well..shout us if you need anything!"**

**"Okay,night Amy"**

**"Night"**

**Clara thought as she went into the bedroom. John was fast asleep on his side,they might all get some sleep.**

**It was wishful thinking,and not to be...**

**A/N **

**John is still very traumatised,will they get him through this?**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Next chapter SOON.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 29**

**John's Nightmares**

**It was a bad night for them all.**

**Clara had only been asleep for an hour,when John started to cry out in his sleep.**

**At first,it wasn't to bad,as he let her hold him and he seemed to settle back down into sleep. Another hour passed,then there was a terrific crash. Clara started awake.**

**"John!?" **

**Sitting up,looking round_**

**He wasn't in bed with her,wasn't even in the room.**

**'Where is he?' She thought.**

**Leaping out of bed,dashing on to the landing,bumping into Amy and Rory coming out of their bedroom.**

**"What's the matter,what was that noise?"Amy said.**

**"Rory" Clara,was in a panic."**

**I can't find him. He wasn't in bed when I woke up"**

**Suddenly there was another noise from downstairs. **

**He said.**

**"Hang on,think I know where he is_"**

**Going slowly down the stairs,Amy and Clara following behind.**

**Towards the kitchen.**

**Rory put the light on,John was taking things out of the ****fridge****.There was a broken jug of milk all over the kitchen floor, looking ****guilty when he saw them in the doorway. His bottom lip trembled.**

**"I wanted a ddrink "**

**Bursting into tears,**

**"I_I didn't mean to be naughty!"**

**Looking at the broken glass on the floor.**

**"Rory"said Amy.**

**"The broken glass,he's got nothing on his feet"**

**Rory had started forward thinking the same.**

**John moved away from him.**

**"I'm sorry,please don't spank me!" flinching, frightened.**

**"Johnnie" **

**Rory speaking softly.**

**"It's alright we know it was an accident,you're not going to get a spanking for that"**

**Pointing to the mess on the floor.**

**He put his hand to him.**

**"Mind the glass,you didn't put your slippers on"**

**John looked down,saw blood,then fainted.**

**Rory managed to catch him before he hit the floor.**

**He carried him to the sofa in the lounge,saying to Amy,**

**"Get the first aid kit,he's cut his foot,"**

**She brought it with a bowl of water and a cloth to bathe it with.**

**" It's not too deep"**

**Rory putting a plaster on it.**

**He sighed.**

**" It seems as though he's 'Johnnie' again,we need to get another pill into him.**

**Clara bit her lip.**

**"Will he take it though,if he thinks it's medicine,most three year old hate to take pills"**

**" Then we put it in some milk or juice.**

**It's nearly midnight now"**

**Looking at his watch.**

**He needs to take it,so he can have another about eight tomorrow"**

**John had started to come round looking round with burst into tears again.**

**"Where's Auntie,want Auntie,don't like it here,want to go home! Please" **

**He pleaded with them. Trying to sit up.**

**"Johnnie its alright You're going home soon"**

**Patting him on the shoulder.**

**"It will be okay"**

**Rory thought,well he would be when this was all over.**

**Thinking on his feet!**

**"We're on holiday,staying with friends of Daddy,that's alright isn't it?"**

**He looked over at the girls.**

**"Its an adventure!"**

**"Course it is" said Amy.**

**"Will there be a picnic?" John asked.**

**"If you like" Rory said.**

**" But you have to go back to bed now"**

**"NO!"_**

**John looking like a tantrum was starting.**

**Rory raised an eyebrow,remembering the obstinate look on John's face from when he was three!"**

**"Johnnie,that is being naughty!"**

**Clara said trying to keep a straight face.**

**Amy was cleaning up the broken glass on the kitchen floor.**

**"Watch your fingers "Rory said.**

**"Have you got some juice I can mix the tablet with?"**

**"There's another jug at the back of the fridge. Orange,he hadn't got too that" she replied.**

**Rory got a glass from the cupboard,taking one of the pills from the bottle,he ground it to a powder and mixed it in the juice.**

**"Here"**

**Amy pulled some wrapped barley sugar sweets out of a drawer.**

**"He might drink it,not mind about the taste too much if you bribe him with one of these after.**

**I got them for Clara,for her morning sickness" **

**When he looked puzzled at her.**

**Taking the orange into the lounge,he found that John could hardly keep his eyes open,was leaning against Clara on the sofa she had an arm round him. Rory held the glass to her.**

**"Try and get him to drink this" **

**"Johnnie"Clara said.**

**"How about a nice drink of Orange?"**

**"No want milk!"**

**"You "bloody" would"**

** Rory under his breath.**

**"Johnnie,if you have this nice orange,you can have this barley sugar"**

**He held the sweet in front him. John put out his hand for it.**

**"Orange first"**

**Clara holding the glass to his mouth,he drank it down. John pulled a face,but didn't spit it out.**

**"Good boy"**

** Said Rory opening the sweet and popping it into John's mouth.**

**"You have this and then it's time for bed,okay"**

**Clara,grinned at him.**

**"What!"_He said.**

**"YOU are going to make a very good Dad,when the time comes"**

**"After this,its going to be a doggle.**

**"Pity he won't remember this" He sighed.**

**"Perhaps it's as well"**

**"Think I would have liked to have met little Johnnie" **

** Clara smiled at him.**

**"The thing is how,we are,going to get him upstairs,to bed?**

**Don't think my back could take another trip up those stairs" Rory replied.**

** John was fast asleep,Rory lay him down on the sofa and covered him with a blanket.**

**"You and Amy go and get some sleep,I'll stay with him,in case he goes,walkabout again." **

**"I'll stay with him****,I'm awake" Clara said.**

**"Really,not sleepy now"**

**Amy came over then.**

**"We'll all stay up with him,I'll make some hot chocolate"**

**By the time the hot chocolate was made,For all Clara had said she was nearly asleep in the armchair.**

**"Look" Rory said.**

**We're all going to be exhausted tomorrow"**

**It was now after one.**

**"_Today,you girls,go to bed. Please?"**

**When Clara looked about to protest said.**

**"I will call you if he wakes,up or gets upset,Amy please go to bed.I will do some of the work I brought home from the office"**

**"Okay,okay"**

**"Amy said back.**

** "Come on Clara"**

**She pulled her up from the armchair.**

**Clara looking back at John.**

**"But_ I want_"**

**She started to say.**

**Amy said then.**

**"I know you are worried about him we are too,but you have to think about you and the baby.**

**You will be no good to him in the next few days if you get sick.**

**Come on,Rory will call us if there is a problem"**

**"Alright"**

**With a last look at John,Clara reluctantly went up to bed with Amy. She got into the bed said.**

**" Will you stay with me,please Amy I hate being on my own"**

**She was getting tearful.**

**"I miss him"_**

**"Lie down then"**

**Amy lay next to Clara,on John's side of the bed, her arm on her back said."**

**"Go to sleep"**

**'Raggedy Man,you better come back to us soon' she thought**

**'This girl needs you badly'**

**Downstairs,all was quiet except for a soft snore from the sofa.**

**Rory smiled at that,John snored.**

**Once when they were teenagers,Rory taped him,but John being John didn't believe it.**

**He got up and made himself a coffee,hadn't drunk the hot chocolate Amy made which was cold now. He needed to keep awake.**

**God forbid if John went missing,Clara would never forgive him!**

**He sat down at the table,spreading the papers out of other cases,he was working on as well as John's at Master's.**

**Luckily for the next few weeks,he could work from home,which was as,well,with the funeral and other "John" problems he had to sort out. He wondered if when he woke would they get John or Johnnie? It was hard to know.**

**It wasn't that he couldn't cope with Johnnie ,he also had to sort the funeral out,for the following week.**

**It was just,would they get John back for then?**

**He looked over at him now.**

**"Come back mate,I miss you!"**

**It must have been about Six,and just getting light when there was a bang.**

**Rory jerked awake his head was on the table,on top of the Fergus V Fergus looked over at the sofa it was empty!**

**'Fuck! John,where was he? The patio doors,leading to the garden were open and banging.**

**'Oh no, Amy will kill me' he thought.**

**He moved to the doors when a football whizzed past his head and hit a vase that was on the side table near on the floor with a smash before Rory could grab it.**

**'Oh shit!'**

**He thought 'that was a wedding present!'**

**Upstairs Clara sat up in bed, at the noise.**

**Amy was still sleeping next to her.**

**"John!" **

**She put on her dressing gown,and not disturbing Amy,she closed the bedroom door quietly and made her way downstairs.**

**She stood In the lounge doorway.**

**There was John covered in mud,pulling on Rory's arm saying.**

**"Play football,please"**

**All of a sudden,Rory shouted at him.**

**"STOP IT JOHNNIE,it too early for this!**

**The neighbours will be complaining, look at the mess you've made!"**

**Soon as the words,were out of his mouth,Rory regretted it. John's lip quivered he burst into tears.**

**Seeing Clara near the door,he ran into her arms,sobbing.**

** "Mummy!"**

**"Oh God,Johnnie,Clara,I'm sorry I didn't mean that.I fell asleep.**

**I was just frightened,thought he was missing,didn't realise he was in the garden,then he kicked the football in"**

**Clara,was trying to comfort Johnnie it was evident that John had not come back.**

**Rory was babbling,to be fair he had been up all night.**

**"Rory Rory" She said.**

**"It's okay.**

**Where did the football come from?"**

**Amy's friend's son Mark left it here last year.**

**The vase was a wedding present,but there is nothing we can do about that"**

**He said quietly..looking over at John,who was still sobbing slightly.**

**"I'm sorry for shouting at you Johnnie,I didn't mean it."**

**Rory looked harrassed tired,worried.**

**"Rory,look he's fine,why don't you sit down and I'll make some coffee"**

**She sat John down at the table and poured him some orange juice,making a coffee for Rory and a tea for herself sat down opposite him. Had his head in his,hands.**

**She said.**

**"He'll need a bath" **

**"I know,I'll sort it in a minute" He replied.**

**"Clara,I'm sorry I just panicked! He was missing,I thought he had run off"**

**"I know it's early will have to carry on"**

**Rory looked over at John.**

**" He's only had two of the pills and seems to be having some sort of breakdown." **

**She touched his hand.**

**"John could still come back to us,maybe he has to go through this to get it out of his,system about his,parents?"**

**"Clara,would you be happy about that? The man in there is the one you're going to marry,have your baby..a life with,to be fair,you have not known him long"**

**"I know enough" She said.**

**"You and Amy have known him thirty years,are you going to give up on him?"**

**"No,NEVER!" He said.**

**"Then I trust you and Amy"**

**She put her hand on his arm.**

**"So we go on bring John Smith back to me!"**

**Amy came into the room then,rubbing her eyes,and yawning.**

**"What's going on?"**

**Seeing her,John who had been sat at the table quietly while Rory and Clara had been having their talk,suddenly burst into tears again,flung his arms round her waist saying.**

**"Amy,Daddy is being mean to me" **

**His lip quivered.**

**"He shouted at me! Wanted to spank me!"**

**"What,Rory! Did you?"**

**She was holding John to her.**

**Mouthed "There's no change?" over his head.**

**"Of course not!" He said as Clara shook her head to her silent question.**

**"I might have told him off,but I didn't threaten to spank him!" **

**Rory bent down to John's level and touched his face.**

**"Now Johnnie you know that's not true,I shouted at you for which I'm sorry,but I didn't threaten to spank you"**

**'God,he really is three years old' **

**Rory thought.**

**"Your naughty for saying that"**

**Pausing then.**

**"Now are you going to come with me and have a bath? Then we'll play"**

**"Yes,Please"**

**John said,taking Rory by the hand as he took him upstairs. Tears forgotten.**

**Amy said,"Clara,have I missed something? Why are the patio doors wide open.**

**My vase in pieces on the floor!?"**

**Clara said.**

**"John is still Johnnie,we have had a few problems.**

**Rory thought he'd lost him they both got upset,think its sorted,for now" **

**She then told Amy what had happened in the time they had both been asleep.**

**"I think you are both right,Amy said.**

**"We stand by him,try and get him come back to us,as you said Clara,think he needs to get through this to get over his mum and Dad"**

**"Do you remember how he was,then Amy?"**

**"Very into himself, quiet ,as I said would only talk to me and Rory and didn't in his,sleep as Rory I didn't see that"**

**"Perhaps it's coming out,now,"**

**"What is?" said Amy.**

**"The naughty side of him" Clara replied "Rory never threatened to spanking him.**

**John thinks he is "Daddy" as well,and I'm "Mummy"**

**"That could be because of Brian,his Dad,their very alike,never thought when we had a child,it would be a thirty four year old.**

**"Amy,said amused.**

**"What about me!" said Clara"Mummy"_**

**"Well,you've had the practice with Daisy...least you be up to speed before the baby is due"**

**Clara said,"What if he doesn't come back before then.**

**Oh ****John!"**

**She put her hand to her mouth at the thought.**

**Amy put her arm round her**

**"Don't think like that,Clara he came back after the first episode he had yesterday,surely when he has taken the pills he will be alright? Come on, Mummy let's get the coffee on,I've a feeling it's going to be a long day and Rory is going to need it_**

**A/N**

**Hope you are,still with this story,so John as regressed back to his childhood because of his trauma.**

**They still have to sort a funeral out as well.**

**Next chapter,will be up soon"A day with Johnnie"**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 30**

**A**** day with Johnnie**

**If the night was hard,the day was even harder on them.**

**Rory was so tired because he had no sleep Clara ,had forgotten how hard a boisterous three year old was,Amy hadn't even had the ****practice****,except for her friend's children..and could give them back!She was ready to give John back after two hours,everything was"I want"or "No!"**

**"Its as though he is making up for lost time",said Rory.."He was never like this when he was three"**

**"Rory,why don't you go to bed,you got hardly any sleep last night,"Amy said to him"and for the last half hour you have been chasing him round the garden with the football"**

**John was sat watching the cartoons on the television,they did not have a lot of things to keep a child entertained...if he stayed as Johnnie for any length of time they would have to get things for him to do.**

**"No time"Rory said "got to start sorting out this out this funeral,for him...John can't do it,and we only have this week to do everything.I'll try and make it for next Wednesday and that will give him eight days for the tablets to work."**

**"What,if he doesn't"Amy queried,as Clara came back in with a tray of drinks and sandwiches,"come back,I mean?"**

**"We will have to get professional help"he said not noticing Clara.."Oh",she said tearfully looking towards the lounge,"do you think it will come to that?"**

**"Hope not "he continued,but if after a week on the anti depressants,we still have Johnnie and not John,I don't know what else to ,I will try but I can't promise, Clara I'm sorry."**

**She touched his hand," I know you will,Rory"**

**John was,yawning and rubbing his,eyes,the tablets and lack of sleep must have been making him drowsy.**

**"Someone needs,a nap",Amy said "but try and get him to have one!"**

**Clara said,"let me see if I can?"she walked into the lounge and sat down on the sofa next to John.**

**"What are you watching,sweetheart?cartoons?**

**He nodded at her..then touching her face said"Clara...!He looked was as though John was fighting to get back to her."John?" Do you want a sandwich?"suddenly the childlike look came back on his,face..."No"...chocolate...**

**"Sandwich first?then you can have a biscuit,okay?**

**she put a sandwich on a plate and gave ****him a glass of milk.**

**They had been putting the tablets in his drinks as it as the only way to get him to take them.**

**She stayed on the sofa while he ate the sandwich and drank the milk...She smiled at him.**

**"That's good,do you want the biscuit now?"**

**He nodded...**

**"After that how about going for a little nap,sweetheart?"**

**He was rubbing his eyes,again.."Please for me?"**

**Johnnie was so tired...didn't know,why he liked this lady,and that her name was Clara? He knew he would do what ever she wanted.**

**Holding out his hand out to her,he let her lead him up the stairs to the bedroom.**

**Laying him down on the bed,she covered him up stroked his head.**

**"Go to sleep,John,there's,a good boy..."**

**He looked at her."I'm not tired,want to play football,with Rory.."**

** She stiffened,that was he first time he had called him that and not Daddy since,yesterday's episode and woke up as Johnnie. He had also called her Clara,and seemed to know her!He was asleep, Rory put his head round the door,when he saw John he whispered...**

**"Well,Done,is he alright?"Are you Clara?"noticing the tears in her eyes.**

**"Yes" she sobbed,"I think he's remembering me"**

**"He is!"that's good Isn't it?Lets go downstairs,we can all talk better there."**

**Noticing her looking at John who was muttering in his sleep...""we'll leave the door open,so we can hear him if he calls out"**

**Downstairs,Amy was waiting,**

**"Told you he would do what ,Clara,told him...what's,the matter?"**

**Looking at Clara's tear stained face.**

**"He called me,Clara,"**

**Amy said"Well that,your name..."looking puzzled.**

**"He said,want to play football,"**

**"So?"Amy thought Clara had gone loopy with being tired,or maybe it was her?**

**"With Rory,...not Daddy"**

**"Oh,my God,"Amy said and started dancing round the room with Rory... **

**"Hang on,hang on,"Rory said"let's not get too to excited yet,it could have been a one-off."**

**Oi,stupid face,you're just peeved,because he won't be calling you Daddy any more!"**

**"Do you know how daft is too be called that by some one who is the same age as you?"Rory said.**

**Suddenly there was a crash from upstairs,and the three of them looked at each other,then ran for the stairs.**

**Rory got there first,John was sitting on the floor of the bedroom,rubbing his head looking up at them...**

**"Ow" he said,"I fell out of bed..."He sounded normal."Why am I in bed,at 2... in the afternoon looking at the clock on the bedside table?"**

**"John,do you know who I am?"Clara asked him worried.**

**"Why,don't you know?"**

**He said cheekily,thinking she was having a joke with him...**

**"Just answer her,mate"Rory said.**

**"Well,you're Clara,the mother of my baby" he replied.**

**Clara screamed"he's back,he's back!"and jumped on him smothering him with kisses.**

**"Clara,careful" he said, with his arms round her...**

**"Not that I don't like this,but mind the baby."**

**"See",said Amy."Come on stupid face,let's leave them to it..."**

**They both went back downstairs.**

**John and Clara were still on the floor,**

**"Er,don't you think we could "cuddle better on the bed?"He said getting up,and lifting her on to it.**

**"Okay, John,she said to him,"could we just ****really**** cuddle? Don't feel like doing the other just yet..."**

**He looked at her puzzled "ok..ay !",wondering what was going through her head,normally she would be all over him to do "it",more so since,she had got pregnant..still he would never push her.**

**Lay across his chest,he had his arms round her.**

**"OH I like this...! He said."Suddenly she started crying,"Clara...!?what ! ..Sweetheart are you ..." he started to say.**

**"I'm fine,sorry,sorry...just tired "She rubbed at her face,**

**John looked down at her,kissing the top of her head "Clara,you go to sleep if you want to,you don't have to be sorry sweetheart!"**

**He could hear soft snores,she already had!**

**As he lay there just holding her,he wondered what had been going on,He knew that they had had the Doctor to him because of the fainting attack and he now was on tablets,for depression,but didn't remember taking them?**

**He did feel lots better Clara,mumbled something in her sleep about football and cartoons and turned away from him. He sat up...something was going on,there was something at the back of his mind,but it was,foggy...**

**Pulling on his jeans,he went downstairs...Amy was sat on the sofa watching the television.**

**"Hello, Raggedy Man how's Clara?"**

**"Asleep,where's Rory?"**

**"In the other room on the phone to the funeral home,sorting out for next week"**

**"Funeral?" God,he had completely forgotten about that..**

**Rory came back into the room then..."it's next Wednesday 10 am from the home to the Crematorium,will have to ask him..."He started to say.**

**"Ask me what,?"John queried.**

**"Oh you're up! I was just sorting out for Sue's funeral,is that alright,"he asked him? **

**"Fine,"he was looking at Rory,"was there something else?"**

**"Well,flowers?"**

**"One wreath,from me? For the beginning was good...you could put that,if you like"he said.**

**"Okay don't take this the wrong way, would you like to see her,one last time?"**

**"No,I don't think so,Rory..."**

**"Had to ask" he said"I'll sort that for you...and your happy with the date,next week?"**

**"Sure,it will give me time to help you sort the flat out and the finances for everything."**

**Rory looked puzzled,"thought you wanted it sold?"**

**"Still do",he replied "I want my personal stuff out of there"**

**Amy and Rory could not believe the change in him,how calm he was...the anti depressants were working.**

**"John,are you okay?"Rory asked him? for he was rubbing his head**

**"Hmmm,I'm fine...the tablets,are ...helping"he said."am I due another one soon?"**

**"Later,when you go to bed,"he replied**

**John looked at him"Rory,this might sound daft, what day is it?"**

**Rory looked at Amy,"it's Tuesday,why?"**

**"What happened to Monday!"**

**They had decided not to tell him what had gone on over the last 24 hours,about Johnnie unless he remembered or asked outright.**

**"You,err,slept through it,"Rory replied"because of the tablets."**

**"That must be why I'm starving hungry..then,"**

**Amy got up,**

**"I'll make you something...omelette okay?"glad that he wanted to eat,he had only had sandwiches and biscuits as Johnnie in the last 24 hours...**

**"Great,even you couldn't ruin that"Pond"...**

**"Oi,do you want to eat or wear it,behave,Raggedy Man"she said as she went into the kitchen to make it,she had missed him calling her"Pond".**

**Rory smiled he hoped that things were getting back to normal...just got to get this next week over he sat down next to John at the table.**

**"I'll make an appointment with Sue's solicitor for later this week,to sign over the money to you for the life insurance,we will need your signature as your the beneficiary,we can sort the flat out later."**

**"Sure,"John said, do you mind if we talk about something else,Rory?"**

**Seeing his face,he carried on,**

**"Its not that I'm not grateful for what you have done,are doing...not today,right tomorrow will do"he touched his,hand."Thanks"**

**Amy came back in with his lunch then.**

**John,ate his way through the omelette,also two rounds of bread,and two cups of coffee.**

**Amy looked on in amusement,**

**"Who's pregnant,you or Clara,or are you joining in in sympathy"**

**"Funny,haha,Pond,"he said "can't remember when I ate last. IS Clara alright? Only she was,upset earlier before she went to sleep."**

**Amy,looked at Rory,"she's just tired,don't think she slept well last night"...as did we all she said to her self...**

**"I'll make her a cup of tea,"John said"Go see if she's awake..."**

**Taking it upstairs,he went into the bedroom,Clara was just stirring putting,the cup down on the bedside table,he sat on the bed and kissed her lightly...**

**"Hello,you,feeling better?"**

**"Mumm, yes,I am"...pulling him down towards,her."more please"he grinned at her.**

**"Happy to ..."She cut him off with more kisses,then...**

**"John,she whispered"you can if you want to"...**

**"Want to what?" He said having a joke with her.**

**"You know",she said touching his leg and running her hand up his thigh...**

**"Oh God,Clara...move over !"he said throwing his,clothes off ...jumping into the bed,he began to make love to her...**

**"I love you,"she was saying to him as she lay in his arms,later."please never go away and leave me!"**

**He looked down at her in is arms,"Clara,where would I go?your my life,Daisy,he touched her stomach " and this little one in here."**

**She smiled at him,"we should ring my Dad and Daisy,you should ring Auntie Mary said we would in a couple of days,its that now..."**

**"I know,"he said,"Rory says it's Tuesday,I seem to have lost 24 hours somewhere,don't remember?"He was rubbing his head again..**

**"John,are you alright?"Clara was asking him.**

**"It's nothing,bit of a headache is all,must have bumped my head when I fell out of bed earlier,it's nothing.."**

**Clara looked at him,"Are you sure?"**

**"I SAID I'M FINE!"**

**She sat up and flinched away from him.**

**John regretted what he said as soon as he said it.**

**"God,Clara,come here...Please I'm sorry didn't mean to shout,"**

**He put his arms round her.**

**She had tears in her eyes. Hating to see her cry,especially when he had caused it..**

**"Don't cry,Please,"he kept kissing her until she smiled back at him.**

**"I'll let you off,if you make love to me again"**

**"Clara!"He pretended to be scandalized,"What again..."**

**She whispered in his ear..."if you don't I'll tickle you to death John Smith,know you can't stand it!"**

**"Oh no,Clara,I will do it !anything,but that!" and he did"**

**Later,they wandered downstairs,Amy and Rory were curled up on the sofa together,Rory was nearly asleep.**

**"Hello,you two,"Amy said "its nearly nine it's bed time,but as you've been up there since five.."**

**"Thought we'd better feed Clara as her stomach as been making weird noises for the last half hour."John said.**

**"Oi"**

**"There's ham and salad in the fridge,or I could make her an omelette?"Amy said.**

**"Just a sandwich will be fine," Clara looking at John.**

**"I'll make it " as he got up the room spun..**

**"John!" He heard Clara call out as he fell against the chair he had been sitting everything went dark...**

**"When,he came back round,he was on the floor with his head on Clara's lap.**

**"What happened?"his voice didn't sound like his own..**

**"You passed out,mate,"Rory was stood with Amy looking worried at him.**

**"How long?"He asked trying to sit up.**

**"Only five minutes"Rory was ****trying to help him.**

**"Here have a sip of this"giving him a glass of water Amy had brought.**

**"I'm fine,just stood up to quick,that's all"John said sipping the water."can I get off the floor now?"**

**Rory helped him to his feet,and he nearly passed out again.**

**"Woe! John!"**

**"I'm okay,let me sit down a minute,sure it will pass"**

**Rory helped him sit in the chair,he had gone white...**

**"Sorry,sorry about this,think I'm going to..."**

**Amy grabbed a bucket from the kitchen and John threw,up everything he had eaten in the last few hours."**

**"I'm sorry."..He said Rory went to empty the bucket,and then came back with it just in case.**

**"You don't have to be sorry Raggedy Man"Amy said stroking his head.**

**"Do you want to lie down on the sofa?"When he nodded,Rory helped him and then covered him as he was shivering.**

**"Rory,"said Clara,"he was complaining of an headache earlier,said he bumped it when he fell out of bed."**

**Rory felt his head..He did seem slightly warmer than usual.."John" he said "does your head hurt at all?"**

**John opened his,eyes,slightly,"No...it's fine now,been sick,tired,now..want to sleep...go away ! "he said pevisely.**

**Rory leaned away from him.**

**"Could just be the reaction to the tablets,and everything that as happened in the last 24 hours,we will just have to see how it goes in the next couple of hours. Then get the Doctor again if his temperature goes up more."**

**Clara looked at him,"if you're sure "she said."I should ring Auntie Mary,she will think we have forgot her...and also my Dad and Daisy."**

**"I will make you that sandwich,Clara while you do that"**

**when she pulled a face at her Amy said "you need to eat...go and make your calls"**

**Clara went into the other room that Rory used as an office and took her mobile out of her pocket.**

**Dialing Aunties number it rang three times before it was answered.**

**"Hello?"**

**Auntie,it's Clara,I'm sorry to ring so late..."it was now nearly ten.**

**"That's,alright Clara,is John okay?"**

**"Not really,"she said tearfully.**

**"Clara?" What's the matter...?**

**Oh,Auntie,we had only been here a day and he had a breakdown,we had to get the Doctor to him."**

**"What! Is he okay,do you want me to come down?"**

**"We're coping Amy and Rory,they have been a big help,I wouldn't have coped on my own."**

**She began to tell her about everything from when Rory had taken him to the police station and they had found out about Sue and the drugs,John's breakdown into Johnnie and how he had come back but now had a temperature.**

**"He's asleep at the moment,but Rory seems,to think he will be alright if his,temperature doesn't go any higher..is a reaction to the tablets he's on."**

**"Rory's a,sensible young man,he will know what to do in an emergency...but I feel guilty "Aunt Mary said,"maybe I should have done more for John when he was little..perhaps this wouldn't have happened?"**

**"Don't think that,Auntie,he was four,and you did what you could,with Amy and Rory's help..it might have still have ended up like this,he's getting the help he needs just have to get him through the funeral next Wednesday,so that's as a week to get over this"**

**"Clara,your Dad is coming tomorrow with Daisy for a visit,then we are taking her out for the day..Do you want me to tell him what's happened?"**

**Do you mind?"Don't tell Daisy anything though she thinks we're on holiday,it's a little late to ring him now...tell them I love them both,I've not forgotten them..I will ring tomorrow" I promise..**

**Auntie Mary said,"Clara,I'm sure that your Dad will understand once I tell him John's not well.**

** Give him my love and the same to Amy and Rory and I will speak to you sometime.**

**Get some rest,you sound exhausted too my love...bye for now"**

**"Bye Auntie"**

**Putting the phone back in her pocket,she sat staring at the wall for a minute,she should go back in and see how John was,but she had to admit she was scared. What if he was sick again?she had a terror of losing him,of being alone again.**

**She started to cry,surely life could not be that cruel?**

**Amy came into the room then.**

**"Clara are you okay?" She said,"We wondered we're you were"seeing she was crying went to put her arms round her.**

**"What's the matter,"**

**" Going to lose him,aren't I,he's getting sick again " She sobbed into Amy's shoulder"I'm going to be on my own.."**

**"Of course your not,don't be silly,any way that's,what I came to tell you,he's,lots cooler. Rory putting him to bed .Its was as we said,just a reaction to the tablets and everything,he also ate to fast earlier and plus all the junk he ate as "Johnnie" We gave him some aspirin,he'll be fine tomorrow"**

**"Really,Clara said wiping her eyes..."He will?"**

**"Of course,did you speak to Auntie Mary,your Dad?"**

**"Only Auntie,she was upset about John wanted to come up but I stopped her..She is seeing my Dad and Daisy for a visit tomorrow,so will tell him what's happened ..is happening,I'll ring him tomorrow. Amy,I'm so tired"**

**"I know",she put her arm round Clara"come and have a sandwich and a drink and then it's bed for all of us..Don't think we will have a disturbed night tonight.**

**by 11 o clock they were all fast asleep in bed.**

**A/N**

**So John is back to normal.**

** lots,to sort out in the next few days the flat and Sue's funeral**

**Please read and review and I will update the next chapter SOON.**

**Thanks for Reading.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 31**

**Clara woke to something tickling her nose.**

**Opening an eye,quickly,then closing it again she pretended to be still asleep.**

**John was pouting at her.**

**"Clara..Clara.. I know your awake"**

**"Go away,to early"**

**She turned away from him on to her side,putting the pillow over her head.A hand crept under the nightdress she was wearing brushing lightly over her stomach...followed by a few light kisses to the back of her neck from just below the pillow.**

**Admitting defeat,she turned back to him.**

**"Good morning,you,feeling better then?"**

**When she came to bed John was asleep.**

**"Feel,great"_**

**Do you want to,you know,Cuddle?"**

**He reached across to pull her closer too him.**

**"John Smith,now who's insatiable!"**

**Clara sat up,to put her arms round him.**

**"Oh,dear!"**

**Putting a hand to her mouth bolted for the bathroom.**

**"Clara!?"**

**Coming back ten minutes later, crawled back into bed.**

**"Bloody morning sickness ugh!"**

**Turning away from him as he tried to put his arms round her.**

**"This is your fault,John Smith go away! I'm going back to sleep!"**

**Hurt. John ****got up,put on his dressing gown.**

** In the kitchen drinking coffee,he found Amy.**

**"Morning R****aggedy**** Man"**

**She sounded so cheerful,he gave her a sour look.**

**"Oh dear like that is it? Is Clara awake yet?"**

**"She was,gone back to sleep.****Told me to go away" He pouted.**

**Amy raised an eyebrow at that.**

**"Give her an hour,then take her some tea and toast,she'll be fine. coffee's made."**

**John got himself a cup,then sat down at the table opposite Amy.**

**"Pond,do you think I'm neglecting her? Only I don't mean to,what with this funeral and everything that as happened.**

**"How do you feel?" She asked him.**

**"What..? I feel fine, what as that got to do with anything?"**

**"Well why don't you take her out for the day? Both of you have not been well,especially you"**

**she replied. "And have been couped up here since Sunday."**

**"I've got things to sort out with Rory,the funeral,the flat, Sue's solicitor about the life insurance"**

**"Raggedy Man!" She said exasperated with him.**

**"Don't make problems,where there are none.**

**The funeral is sorted out, its not until a week today..the other things can wait a couple of days.I know Rory's got other work he can be getting on with,make today for Clara and you."**

**"Alright"**

**John said,smiling,as usually Amy had the solution to his problems talking to her made him feel better.**

**"I'll take her some tea and toast first,"**

**he said getting up to make it...**

**"I'd better get Rory up,he was having a lie in today as he didn't have to go to the office,see you in a while R****aggedy**** Man"**

**Amy went to get her husband out of bed.**

** Upstairs about ten minutes later,balancing a tray with toast and two cups on,John peeped round the bedroom door. **

**Clara was sat up in bed.**

**She smiled at him.**

**"Hello"**

**"Peace offering" he said indicating the tray.**

**"I'm sorry,John,I shouldn't take it out on you.**

**It's not your fault I was sick..."**

**He touched her stomach...**

**"Well,it is partly, after the throwing up I did yesterday,yuck! I know it's not very nice. Are you feeling better now?" He asked.**

**"Do you think you could eat something?"**

**"I'm starving now! So, Yes please..."**

**John looked at her,thinking how pale she was looking.**

**"What!" she said through a mouthful of toast.**

**"How would you like to go out for the day?"**

**"Where?" she asked him.**

**"How about lunch,in the west End? We also need to the get one of those blood pressure cuffs the Doctor told us about,so we can keep an an eye on you."**

**John kissed her.**

**Clara pulled a face at him.**

**"I feel fine"**

**They had spoken to Doctor Jones because they couldn't keep the appointment she had made,for Clara. As she was feeling alright at the moment, apart from the morning sickness to see Amy and Rory's Doctor if there were any problems with her blood pressure.**

**"What's the matter?" He asked.**

**Last time we were in the West End"**

**Looking guilty,"When I accused Jack of wanting to sleep with you? I'm sorry!"**

**She took his face in her hands, kissed him.**

**" John,all is forgiven, forgotten"**

**She got off the bed.**

**Besides,I don't think Jack will be sleeping with anyone for a while.I'm going for a shower."**

**" Oh Okay"**

**John sat on the bed,he hadn't really thought about Sue in days.**

**Wondering how she had got involved with Jack,well she met him because he worked at Masters.**

**Has for the drugs,he didn't even know that Jack let alone Sue was into anything like that.**

**What if he hadn't introduced Sue to him,would she be still alive? Would they have split up? If they hadn't would he have met Clara? **

**Putting his head in his,hands,thoughts going round and round. **

**"God, a person could go mad thinking aboui it!**

**The here and now...Clara,Daisy,he smiled and the new baby.**

**Rory was right,it was the icing on the cake!**

**When Clara came back into the room,he was still smiling.**

**"John? You are alright aren't you?"**

** she said to him,finishing getting dressed.**

**"Course,I am,"**

**"I was thinking how much I love you,come here"**

**Putting his arms round her waist, his head on her stomach.**

**"Could stay here all day!" He said.**

**"John Smith,your comfy on the bed.I'm standing up!"**

**"We could go back to bed,both of us"**

**"Thought we were going out" Clara said,kissing him again.**

**"Right,yes,"John replied.**

**"I'll just get dressed,then see you downstairs," giving her a final kiss.**

**"Okay," **

**Clara,went downstairs to wait,going into the kitchen,Amy was loading the dish washer.**

**Rory was sat at the table going through a mountain of papers.**

**"Hello,you."Amy said."Feeling better?"**

**"Yes,I really shouldn't take it out on John though?"Clara,replied.**

**"Oh,I don't know,it probably was his fault anyway,he's a man!" **

**"Oi" Rory said."What did we do...?"**

**"I mean look at this one" Amy continued.**

**"Got a perfectly good office through there,but uses,my kitchen table!"**

**Clara laughed,"that's not all John's is it Rory?"**

**" No,these are the other cases I'm working on.**

**John's is in the office,though his file is getting to be quite thick,anyway"**

** he looked at Amy. "Half the time,can't get in my office as your in there doing your writing."**

**"Writing?" Clara asked.**

**"Yes" **

**John said coming in that point.**

**"Amy writes children's stories,what's,the name of the last one,Pond? Summer Falls or something like it?"**

**"Wait a minute,"**

**Clara said,"Amelia Williams of course!"**

**She slapped John on the arm,**

**"and you never said!"**

**"Ow!" Clara! He said rubbing his arm.**

**"Daisy loves it,it's one of her favourite bedtime books,she will be thrilled that the author is going to be her Auntie.**

**"Come on you,let's go,he's taking me for lunch in the West End,we might do some shopping"**

**"Oh,mate," said Rory laughing,**

**"Hope you've reinforced your credit cards,you know women when they go shopping...Ow!,Amy!"**

**That got him a slap from her.**

**"Shut up stupid face!,have a good day,we'll see you both later." Smiling at John and Clara.**

**They had decided to get the bus from down the road,as it was only a short ride up to Regents Street.**

**They waited on the bench,for the bus to come,Clara's mobile phone rang.**

**Taking it out of her bag,she answered and said,**

**"Hello"**

**"Clara,it's Auntie,how's John?"**

**"Oh,Auntie," she said letting John know who it was. Lots better,in fact he's,here if you want to talk to him?"**

**P****assing him the phone John said,**

**"Hello,Auntie,I'm fine,"**

**"John,I've been so worried about you.I'm sorry you've been so ill,maybe I should have got the help for you sooner?"**

**She sounded so upset that John was nearly in tears,himself!**

**"Please, Auntie,Don't get upset,I'll be talking to someone about it soon" he took Clara's hand his.**

**"Need to get this next week over,then I..we can start our new,life"**

**he said kissing her hand.**

**"You will be alright for Sue's funeral next week?" she asked him.**

**"Auntie,I will as am on the anti depressants and there helping.**

** I have fought all the way against you all,I'm glad you all pushed back and helped me.**

**Its sad what happened between her and me,I didn't want it to end this way.**

**Jack should go to prison for a long,time"**

**He knew that Clara had told his Aunt about his breakdown,but there was also something else as well, he couldn't remember! She also knew about "Johnnie agreeing with Clara,Amy and Rory,they should not tell him unless he remembered or asked.**

**It may come out at the counselling sessions he had agreed to,and for John that was a start.**

**John heard a little voice over the phone say.**

**"Auntie,we're here, are you ready to go?"**

**"Is that Daisy?"**

**How he had missed her.**

**"Can you put her on"**

**he heard her hand the phone over saying,**

**"it's John and Mummy"**

**" John,I'm being a good girl for Granddad,we are going to take Auntie out on a boat on the river,then she is staying at our house.**

**Are you having a nice time with your friends,is Mummy there?"**

**she gabbled away nearly in one breath.**

**"Woe,woe,Daisy!"he laughed.**

**"Give me a chance to answer, then you can talk to Mummy,tell her where your going,what you are doing.**

**"Yes,we are,but missing you",he said.**

**"Here's Mummy,talk to your daughter"**

**he said to Clara. I can't get a word in,talks as much as you."**

**"Oi," she said taking the phone back from him.**

**Hello,Daisy,sweetheart,you're having a good time,and taking Auntie out? good."**

**She paused to listen as Daisy was telling her all the plans for the day."**

**That's lovely,baby,can I talk to Granddad now?"**

**Dave came on the line.**

**"Clara,?"**

**"Hello,Dad,I expect Auntie as told you what as happened?"**

**"Some,he said, are you okay? Both of you?" He emphasized the "****both"**** so she would know he was concerned for John as well.**

**"Daddy,we're fine,he is taking me out to lunch now,so if I could ring you later tonight,I can tell you what's,been happening,we'd rather Daisy didn't know.**

**" That's,okay,sweetie,I will speak to you tonight better get this little madam out now,or we will get no peace.**

**"She's as excitable as you were Clara,bye for now,come on then Daisy" she heard him say as she disconnected the call.**

**"What!"**

**He said looking at her smiling face.**

**"Daisy's running rings,round my Dad"**

**He smiled back liking to see her happy.**

**"Here's,the bus" he continued "come on."**

**Climbing on the bus Clara settled by the window,John bought two day tickets so that if they wanted to get off to have a look at the shops they could and if Clara got tired they could get back on again put his arm round her.**

**"Where do you want to go first?"He asked her.**

**"I know it's a little soon",she replied "but..."**

**"You want to look at baby stuff"he said.**

**"Yes,only look" she said..Don't mean the big things,as we've no where yet to put it,but little things,will make it seem real somehow"**

**"Clara,what ever you want to do" he said kissing her, "is fine with me!"**

**The bus made its way down towards Oxford street.**

**They decided to have a look in the Hamleys toy store was lots to look at,but as Clara said it was no use buying big things as it was early days and if they were going to move in with Auntie,it would have to wait until the top floor was converted.**

**He did buy a teddy bear for Clara to put In the cot,and also a football,though there was something puzzling about that.**

**"It might be a girl"she told him,looking at the football...**

**"So,a girl can play nowadays,"he replied"I could teach Daisy"**

**"Don't think so,she hates to get dirty.**

**After they left the toy store,Clara wanted to have a look at "Tyler's "the big baby store on Oxford Street."Everything for the happy Event"proclaimed the posters in the windows.**

** Clara got some little outfits that would do for a boy or girl and they spent sometime looking at cots.**

**"Don't want anything too frilly"**

**Clara,said,as she looked at one that had lace all the way round, a canopy on the top.**

**"Wouldn't like to put my son in that!"John said.**

**" What about that one,the sides come down,and it turns into a bed for later. The one with stars and comets on it..."**

**"£400,for a,cot!"**

**Gasped Clara,"John it doesn't have to be that dear,Daisy's was second hand from the market. The first two months she slept in a Moses,basket until I could afford it"**

**"Clara,you can have what you want,expense is no object for my son or daughter,If you want that one,I will put a deposit on it now"**

**John said.**

**"John,are you sure it's,a lot of money" she was biting her lip.**

**John sighed,**

**"Clara,come here"**

**Putting his arms round her.**

**"We're getting married right?"**

**"Yes,but..it's a lot of money"**

**"So what's mine is yours,told your Dad I would look after you.I meant it. if you want that one,then that's the one you shall have"**

**"Then,yes please,I would like it very much,thank you"**

**They went to the desk to pay for their purchases,and John paid,£100 deposit to keep the cot for them,as they wouldn't need it till December the shop would hold it for them until then.**

**"A wise choice,sir,madam" the assistant said,"its an exclusive design from America,we may not get anything like it again."**

**"Right,enought of shops for now "John said,"saw a little Italian place just across the way from here as we came in."is that okay Clara?"**

**"Great I'm starving,"**

**John took the bags as they made there way out of the store and crossed the road to the restaurant.**

**The waiter saw them to a table,and putting the shopping undeneath they both looked at the menu.**

**"Think I will have the lasagne and salad"Clara said.**

**"Looks great,think I will as well,"**

**he ordered a beer for himself and a water for Clara.**

**As they waited he looked was empty apart from one couple sat at a corner man laughted said something to his companion,then he turned round.**

**Clara noticed John had gone white.**

**"What's,the matter,John_John?"**

**"Its Jack Harness!"**

**"It can't be,he's in prison"**

**"Well,it is!.I'll "bloody"kill him"**

**He shot up from the chair,**

**"John NO!"**

**John rushed over to Jack's table,had him pinned by the throat to the wall behind.**

**"What are,you doing here you should be in prison for what you did to Sue,"**

**Jack pushed John away from him,coughing.. gasping.**

**"It was a "fucking"accident,she knew not to take them with booze.**

**What do you care? You've moved on"**

**Jack smirked at John. "Unless you want me to give her a good seeing to as well!? If you can't!"**

**John punched him in the face.**

**All hell was breaking loose,John was on the floor with Jack fighting,the police were called by the owner of the restaurant.**

**Then they were both taken away in the back of a police van.**

**"John!"**

**Clara was screaming after him,not knowing what to do she did the only thing she could think of. She called Rory..**

**A/N**

**Never expected that did you.**

**So what's,going to happen now?**

**Rory to the rescue...**

**Will Clara forgive John?**

**Please review and I will update soon.**

**Oh,Tyler's is from my imagination**

**there is no such shop on Oxford Street.**

**Thanks for Reading.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 32**

**Rory to the Rescue**

**Rory had moved back into his office when his mobile phone started to ring. So much for getting ahead with his paper work today,he sighed answering it.**

**"Rory Williams"**

**"Rory" said a tearful voice**

**"Clara,what's the matter are you okay?"**

**"No"**

**She burst in to more tears so he couldn't really understand what she was saying at first.**

**"Clara,can you calm down for me,sweetheart? Sl****ow down and tell me what's happened? Is it John?"**

**"He's been arrested," Clara was saying in between sobs.**

**"WHAT! why?" Putting his hand over the phone. "Amy!" He was yelling for his wife."Where are you Clara?,Are you at the police station?"**

**"No, they took John and Jack away in a,police van,I'm at Carlos restaurant in Oxford Street the one near Tyler's,the baby store, we were,going to have lunch here"**

**"Jack,you mean as in ****Harkness****? I thought he was in prison"**

**"So,did,I" Clara replied "John went mad when he saw him"**

**Amy came in then.**

**"Look,Clara we're on our way,both of us,you can explain more when we get there,sit tight.,bye"**

**Amy said "What's,the matter?"**

**"John's,got himself arrested is,what's,the matter,"**

**Rory was scrabbling round on his desk, "have you seen my car keys"**

**"Pocket",said Amy"you always,put them In there,is Clara okay?"**

**"Oh apart from being left in Carlos restaurant, John being hauled away in a police van,she's great!" He said sarcastically**

**"Come on we've better go and get her"**

**'Raggedy Man' thought Amy 'What have you done now!?'**

**As they got into the car,he said to her.**

**"Its something to do with that bloody Jack Harkness,Clara said he was taken away in the van as well"**

**"I thought he was in prison" Amy retorted.**

**"He should have been,but there is such a thing as bail,until,the case comes to trial if it was me,I would have locked him up and thrown away the key.!"He said.**

**By this time they were at the restaurant,Rory parked on the car park,at Tylers.'**

**Going into Carlos,Clara was sat on a chair near the door surrounded by shopping bags as she saw the couple,she started to cry again.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry" she kept repeating over and over.**

**"Clara,you've done nothing wrong,"Amy put her arms round her,looking over to Rory.**

**"The thing is Rory,"Clara continued,"The manager won't let me leave until we pay for the damage,I haven't enough money on me!"**

**"WHAT!" said Amy,with her arms still round her.**

**"Clara,none of this is your fault,oh,I am so going to kill John when I catch up to him,putting you through this,especially when your pregnant."**

**"Look,the best thing is too just pay it and then we'll sort it out later.I'll go have a word with the manager"**

**Rory walked into the back of the restaurant.**

**Amy sat on the seat next to Clara looking at all the bags,"Did you leave,anything in the,shops?"**

**"Most of it,John wanted for the baby,he's,even ordered a cot to be delivered in December."**

**Clara gave a tearful smile.**

**" Oh,Amy,we were having such a good time until this. John saw,Jack,he just flipped out!"**

**Rory came back just then,**

**"Its alright Clara,you can go home now,I've paid him £50,to cover the broken table and chairs,there was also some crockery.I'll let them know that John as made good the compensation for damage,they might not charge him."**

**"Did you find out where he is?" Clara asked.**

**"Yes,he's at Chelsea police station,where I took him the other day,Amy you take,Clara with the bags home, in a taxi, I'll go bail him out "**

**"Can't I come,with you?" asked Clara.**

**"No,I've a few choice words to say to him,when I get there. A few "swear" ones mixed in with them,not for yours or Amy's ears" Rory said.**

**Amy looked at Clara.**

**It wasn't often that Rory got into mood like this,he was so laid back,as a rule.**

**When he did "Watch Out"**

**Going outside the restaurant,he stopped a taxi,putting them both in it,kissing Amy,he touched Clara's face.**

**"Don't worry I'll bring him back"**

**The taxi moved away,Rory squared his shoulders, got into his car to go to the police station.**

**Arriving there,Rory went up to the desk.**

**The sergeant,knew him from the nights when he was the duty solicitor Rory said.**

**"Hello,Fred,I believe you have a John Smith here,I've come to get him out"**

**"Nice to see you,again Mr Williams,Yes,we've got him. You can have him back as the owner didn't want to press charges because the damage has been paid for"**

**Lifting the phone he rang through to the back.**

**"Right"**

**Rory said not explaining that he was the one who had paid it.**

**"He's one of yours isn't he?"**

**"Sorry" Rory said "what?**

**"Solicitor,like yourself" Fred continued.**

**"Not now,a friend,all the same"**

**Rory said realising John must have been on the duty solicitor rota as **** door to the back office opened,and another policeman brought John in.**

**"Rory,is Clara alright? "**

**John said going over to him.**

**"Where do you want me to sign,Fred to say he's been bound over.**

**" Rory, I'm sorry!"**

**Upset that Rory wouldn't talk to him.**

**Rory was signing the paper put in front of him, not looking at John.**

**If he did might say something he would regret.**

**"You know you have to behave or you will be back here, if there is a reacurance? "Fred said to John then.**

**"Yeah,yeah okay,whatever," he replied,irritable.**

**John was putting his belongings back into pockets as they were handed back to him,keys,wallet,his mobile phone.**

**"John!" was all Rory said to him as he went to go.**

**John following him out.**

** "Thanks Fred."**

**Rory waited until,they were in the car,then he blew.**

**"What the fuck! John!"**

**He banged his hand on the steering wheel,**

**"How dare you upset Clara,like this! She was hysterical when she rang me,**

**You abandoned her because of a fucking fight!"**

**John had the grace to look guilty,**

**"Look Rory,I'm sorry,it happened,I saw red,because he was there, he should have been in prison." **

**"No,John,you do not do this,I know you have been ill and are on medication"**

**Waving a hand at him,**

** "You have to help yourself here,you are going to be a husband, a father,soon.**

**We're all trying to look out for you,but can only do so much."**

**"Is Clara alright?"**

**"She is now,Amy took her home"**

**Rory said as he pulled out of the car park.**

**" By the way,you owe me £50,for the damage to the restaurant,I paid it or you would have been the one still in prison,your lucky the manager didn't press charges,could have you know"**

**"Don't listen to my side,he insulted Clara! That's why I hit him!"**

**John sat in the passenger seat,arms folded,a stubborn look on his face.**

**"Jack was saying he would sleep with her because she wasn't getting it from me! Could take her from me like,Sue"**

**John sounded defeated with the argument.**

**Shaking his head.**

**"Just take me home Rory"**

**"That's where we're going"**

**"No,my home,the flat."**

**"Don't be stupid,John,your coming back with me,Clara will be worried"**

**"I SAID NO,I WANT TO BE ON MY OWN!"**

**John's eyes flashed, has he tried to open the car door.**

**Rory stopping the car near his flat,tried to reason with him.**

**"John,please,this is silly if your worried about the row with Amy,**

**She's only mad cause you upset Clara."**

**John pulling at the door which was still locked..**

**"I'm not scared of your wife, leave me alone,Rory_**

**Open the fucking door!"_**

**Rory opened the door.**

**John nearly fell as,he got out of the car he was,in such a,temper.**

**"John!"_**

**"Leave me alone. Go away!"**

**Going towards the door of his flat.**

**Rory pulled away from the curb really worried now,when John was in this mood,there was no talking to him. **

**He had to had to get Amy and Clara.**

**Letting himself in the flat,John shutting the door behind him. Leaned against it not caring any more. Tears came to his eyes,no one cared,even when he tried to be happy with Clara it all got flung back in his face.**

**Things kept going wrong.**

**'What's the bloody point' he thought.**

**Going to the bathroom he found two bottles of paracetamol pills in the cabinet. Taking them back into the lounge he found a half full bottle of whisky in the cupboard and a glass.**

**Putting them on the coffee table.**

**Taking the lid from the first carton tipping them on to the table,moving them about like counters in a game.**

**There was a loud banging from the hall.**

**Rory dashed in followed by Amy and Clara.**

**"Oh no! What are you..."Amy started to say,**

** seeing the pills all over the table,**

**"Please tell me you've not taken any?"**

**"It would be so easy though,"**

**John seemed in a trance,kept moving the pills pushing them round the table,**

**"What is the point of me,everything I touch goes wrong, should have died when I was three"**

**John looked over at his two friends,at Clara.**

**Then he looked back down to the pills on the table.**

**"Well" he said,softly.**

**"...No more..."**

**Picking up a handful of the pills,he poured the whisky into the glass.**

**"Rory! do something!" Please"**

**Amy was frantic now,not recognising the man in front of her.**

**" Raggedy Man,please"**

**Putting her hand out to him. Tears in her eyes.**

**John glanced over at her.**

**"Leave me alone,go away,Ameila,your not going to talk ME out of this!"**

**Rory sat on the sofa next to John.**

**John tightened his hand round the pills,thinking Rory was going to take them from him.**

**He was surprised when all he said was,**

**"Okay John,I'm not going to stop you"**

**Nodding at him.**

**"Go on then,you do it,all that hurt,all that pain,gone,like that!"**

**He clicked his fingers.**

**"Rory! What are you doing!"**

**this from Clara. **

**"Doesn't matter about Clara,Daisy,the baby"**

**Rory carried on,as though Clara hadn't spoken,watching John's face.**

**"They won't miss you,nor will Amy and me. Well,what are you waiting for then!"**

**He continued. "The world would be better off without John Smith! Wouldn't it?"**

**Still looking at John,said.**

**"I'm not stopping you"**

**Rory sat,next to him,not moving.**

**John didn't look so sure now,he had been so use to people telling him not too do something.**

**"I_I_"**

**He looked down at the pills in his hand_**

**Then back up at Rory. He burst into tears.**

**"Help me PLEASE,I don't want to die! Can't do this any more!"**

**The pills fell out of his,hand,the glass fell to the floor,the whisky soaking into the carpet.**

**John looked so broken.**

**Rory put his arms round him.**

**"It's alright,mate.****Come on, we're all here,we will look after you,Amy and me,have since we were kids,won't stop now,it's okay"**

**Looking at the other two over his head.**

**John was really sobbing,saying.**

**" G-Going to have n-no one.**

**I'm going to be on my own,it's not fair,not fair! I want to be loved"**

**Rory's heart broke at that sentence.**

**He tightened his arms round him.**

**"You are! Mate,Oh you are!"**

**He put a arm out for Clara to come over to them.**

**"John,you are going to have a wonderful life here with Clara,Daisy this baby in here"**

**He touched her stomach.**

**"John,please sweetheart"**

**Clara said touching his face**

**"I love you SO much"**

**Rory moved out the way so she could sit in his place.**

**John cried more as Clara put her arms round him,he had his head on her shoulder.**

**"Not fair! No one cares! I hate myself!"**

**"Hush,John,it okay,I love you I care"**

**John was holding Clara as though he was never going to let her go.**

**Moving over to Amy,Rory said quietly to her.**

**"We need to get him back home,call the Doctor.I think he's having another breakdown"**

**"Rory,I really thought he would take the pills with you telling him too!"**

**She hit him on the arm "You stupid face!"**

**"I was so scared,I really thought he would!"**

**Amy was shaking.**

**Which took a lot,and today was it!**

**Rory,kissed her saying,quietly.**

**"I'm sorry"**

**He held her too him for a moment.**

**"Amy,you should have realised by now,if you tell John to do a thing he does the opposite"**

**He continued rubbing his face,**

** "Though wasn't sure myself this time,I would have stopped him if he had tried to,I needed to push him the other way"**

**"Rory"**

**John's voice sounded scratchy with the tears.**

**"No Doctor,please? ****he will send me away.I will come home with you,without a fuss, take the pills I'm already on,only had one today? I just want to sleep. PLEASE?" he pleaded.**

**Looking at the girls,**

**"Alright John,we'll do it your way,see how things are tomorrow"**

**He helped him up from the sofa.**

**"Come on,mate,it will be okay"**

**Locking the flat,they went back round the corner to the house.**

**John went straight to the bedroom,got undressed and into bed.**

**Clara went to follow him,Rory stopped her.**

**"Let me make sure he's settled first,okay? I need to make sure he takes the pill..."**

**She nodded at him.**

**"Why don't you make him a sandwich and a drink,you can give it to him. When he's asleep,we will talk,right?"**

**Both women nodded at him and headed for the kitchen.**

**John was sat up in bed.**

**Taking the glass of water,the pill from Rory without complaining.**

**He swallowed it,opening his mouth to show Rory it had gone.**

**Rory had never known John so placid.**

**"Now Clara is going to bring you a sandwich,try and eat it, then get some sleep,okay? We'll talk tomorrow,remember John,you are loved"**

**He patted him on the shoulder.**

**John nodded at him,he looked so tired, worn out.**

**The door opened then,Clara came in with a sandwich and a glass of Orange juice on tray.**

**Rory smiled at them both.**

**"Well,l leave you to it,I see you downstairs later Clara,think on about what I said John,get some rest"**

**He went downstairs.**

**John took a bite of the sandwich,it was so dry in his mouth,so he took a sip of Orange juice so he could swallow it...**

**"I'm,sorry,don't think I can,"he said to Clara.**

**"That's okay"she said"Do you want the juice?"**

**He nodded,draining the glass as his throat was raw with crying.**

**"Thank you"**

**Handing it back,his eyes closed with exhaustion.**

**Clara got up to leave.**

**"NO don't leave me,"**

**grabbed for her, was shaking.**

**"l don't want to be on my own! PLEASE!"**

**"John,no I will never leave you,I love you" touching his face.**

**"I will get on the bed with you,stay until your asleep,alright?"**

**Nodding it was fine,Clara then kicked off her shoes and climbed on the bed and put her arms round him...**

**"Go to sleep,John,I'm here..I'm here"**

**She was stroking his head,tears running down her face.**

**"I'll never leave"**

**John stopped fighting the exhaustion,his eyes closed.**

**She lay there with him a while longer,then getting up left him a glass of water in case he woke thirsty.**

**Leaving the door open slightly so they would hear him if he called out, went to join Amy and Rory in the lounge.**

**Rory looked up as she came in,**

**"Is he asleep?"**

**"Eventually,"she replied"I had to stay with him,he was panicking I would leave him."**

**"That's,why I think this is a breakdown,"**

**Rory continued." I don't think he was serious about taking the overdose earlier,it was a cry for help,because everything was crumbling round him."**

**"We would NEVER,do that,"**

**Amy said."leave him."**

**"Which is,why I think he didn't want the Doctor to come,he's frightened that he would send him away from us" Rory said.**

**"So what do we do?" asked Clara.**

**"We carry on,get him to keep taking his medication for the next few days,see how he is up to the funeral"**

**Rory was saying.**

**"We will have to be prepared in case his nightmares come back.**

**He could break,I think he needs to see the Doctor,persuading him is another matter"**

**"Do you think we will get "Johnnie"again?"**

**Amy was saying.**

**"We might,"said Rory," he seems to be having panic attacks now,especially about being left,abandoned,even."**

**Clara said,"I would never leave him...NEVER!"**

**Rory touched her hand,**

**"All,three of us,will have to try and convince him of that in the next few days,though we might have to get the Doctor,to up the dose of the pills he's on"**

**He put his hand through his,hair."I don't want to do that,unless we've got too,he might think we are going to send him away!"**

**Suddenly there,was shouting, screaming from upstairs,**

**"John!"**

**Rory took the stairs two at a time,followed closely by Amy and Clara.**

**John was still asleep,though tossing,turning, yelling.**

**"No,don't leave me,Come back PLEASE!"**

**Tears were pouring down his,face.**

**Sat up in the bed,arms outstretched to something only he could see.**

**Rory went to the bed.**

**"John,come on now,what's,all this? We're**

** all with you,no one is going to go away and leave you,hush mate"**

**He touched his face.**

**"John?"**

**He wiped his eyes, he blinked at him.**

**"R- Rory?"**

**"Hello,mate,"Rory said"back with us now? you were dreaming,"**

**He sat on the bed put his arm round him.**

**John was shaking,slightly.**

**"Look Amy's here and Clara.**

**Amy waved at him,**

**"You'll never get rid of me "Raggedy Man"**

**"I know,been trying for years!"He said sounding like the old John.**

**"Oi you!" **

**Amy said,a tremor in her voice,trying not to think about what he had tried to do less than an hour ago.**

**Clara got on to the bed with him Rory moved away.**

**"Hello sweetheart,I would cuddle, I'm so too tired"**

**"That's alright...you can just hold me if you like?"**

**she smiled at him.**

**"I love you,John,and your stuck with me"**

**Even though his eyes,were closed,he put his arm round her.**

**"Clara...I'm so sorry"**

**Clara,was puzzled..."What for,John?"He opened his eyes.**

**"For everything...I've put you through,I do love you,so much,but I keep hurting you!" He had tears in his eyes.**

**"No,you don't,she said,"you help me,look what you did about my Dad,Daisy. I need you John."**

**Rory nudged Amy and said "let's leave them to it"**

**When they went into the lounge,there was a mobile phone on the side table ringing.**

**Rory picked it up,the screen flashed up the words "AUNTIE"**

**"I think it's Clara's she must have put it down when we all dashed upstairs.**

**"Answer it then stupid face,she must be worried about them to ring this late"**

**it was after 10pm.**

**"Hello," **

**"John?"**

**"No,Auntie,it's Rory"**

**Thank goodness we have managed to get hold of some one...We have been trying for the last hour!**

**What's going on? Clara...John are they alright?"**

**Rory looked at Amy,**

**"Not really,"he replied "John's had another breakdown"**

**"WHAT..I only spoke to them both this afternoon,did something happen?"**

**"You could say that,Auntie,how much has Clara told you?"**

**"Not much really,she was going to tell me more about what happened when John had the first one, what caused it.**

** She couldn't say to much this afternoon as we had Daisy with us."**

**"I see"said Rory,rubbing his face,**

**'God he was tired' **

**"You know about Sue, crashing the car?"**

**"Yes,"Auntie said.**

**"Well,.."**

**Rory started to tell her all about what had happened from the car crash,Jack,the drugs John's first breakdown from which he seemed to be getting over with the help of the anti depressants.**

**How he was today,getting himself arrested,then threatening to take an overdose.**

**"Rory,please tell me he's alright... he didn't...?"**

**"No-no,he didn't,it was just a cry for help he's asleep upstairs,Clara's with him.**

**"He seems to be having panic attacks,about being left."**

**Pausing then,he didn't really want to think about how far John had nearly gone today.**

**"We may have to get the Doctor to up the dose of his pills,yet though I might have to talk to him about that.I think he is frightened he will be sent away from us..."**

**" Do you want me to come down?"Auntie said?"I feel awful you and Amy coping with this"**

**"We will cope,Auntie,"**

**He clasped Amy's hand as she nodded at him.**

**"Amy says to tell you we will sort out"her "Raggedy Man"for you okay?"**

**Auntie gave a tearful laugh,she was well aware of the childhood nickname for John...**

**Rory continued.**

**"Think they would be happy to know you and Clara's Dad are looking after Daisy for them,least till the funerals over,then he will be back home with you" **

**Clara,came back in then,**

**" I will go now ,Auntie," letting Clara know who it was,in case she wanted to talk to her.**

**She shook her head.**

**"I will ring you tomorrow, let you know how he is...bye for now"**

**He disconnected the call, handed the phone back to Clara.**

**" Sorry ,it was ringing"**

**"That's okay,don't think I could talk to her tonight,tell you the truth,I forgot to ring.."**

**She looked at Rory..Did you tell her...everything?"**

**" Mostly,****she wanted to come down, I managed to stop her...is he asleep?"**

**"Yes,unless he wakes again."**

**Amy said "I'll make some sandwiches,it to late to cook anything,then I think we should go to bed,in case he does wake,we could be in for a long night"**

**"Even if he doesn't,I'm going to have a long chat with him about the Doctor coming,I think we should try to persuade him that it's for the best.**

**He may need the extra pills..."**

**A/N**

**So John as had another breakdown.**

**Will Rory persuade him to see the Doctor?**

**Prepare for a battle of Wills in the next Chapter.**

**Please read and review...**


	33. Chapter 33

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 33**

**John did sleep,though it had to be admitted the other three were so worried about him they didn't get much themselves.**

**Rory was in the kitchen with Amy drinking coffee at 7am,when Clara came in.**

**"Morning,"Amy said to her,"Tea,toast?"**

**"Just the tea please"she replied.**

**"Sick again?"**

**"Yes,"Clara said.**

**"Yuck! will it never end,I'm fine later and will be starving hungry,it's this first hour.**

**John usually wakes,he slept through my mad dash to the bathroom.!"**

**Rory looked at both of them.**

**"You know we are going to talk to him today,about the Doctor? I said we would see how he is,now I've slept on it,think it's best we try and get him on an extra dose of the medication he's on"**

**Amy looked at him,**

**"Are you sure about this,Rory? You know how stubborn he can be"**

**"Yes,there is less than six days to the funeral. I think he needs to be there to say goodbye to that part of his life,he might be in hospital by then IF we don't do something now!"**

**Suddenly,Johns voice came from upstairs,**

**"Clara,where are you?"...**

**"Well,"**

**Rory said getting up,swallowing the last of his coffee.**

**"No time like the present,Amy will you make some coffee for him in case I've got to calm him down?"**

**She nodded.**

**Rory went upstairs followed by Clara.**

**John was sat up in bed frantically looking round.**

**"Morning John,how are you today?"**

**Rory asked.**

**"Fine,"**

**he returned,plucking at the ****duvet**** slightly agitated.**

**"I wondered where you all where,is all"**

**Clara looked at Rory,maybe he was right?**

**John looked as though he did need more of the medication,he seemed agitated,especially when they were not in the room with him.**

**Rory sat on the chair next to the bed.**

**"John,mate we've been talking"**

**He looked over at Clara.**

** "The Doctor should come out to see you again."**

** Pure panic spread across John's face,**

**"You promised..."**

**he said tearfully.**

**"They will take me away to hospital!****"**

**He tried to get out of bed.**

**"John,I won't let them,"**

**Rory said taking his hand,pulling the covers back over him.**

**" Look you would have had to threaten us with violence for any one to do that. I don't think you have said you would murder any of us,have you? Well not lately"**

**Smiled at John,trying to make a joke of it.**

**"No-no,"**

**"All we want is the Doctor to up the dose on your pills,so you will get better. He is already sorting out someone for you to talk to at the hospital for counselling isn't he?"**

**John nodded at him,looking away as though he didn't really believe him.**

**Rory turned his face back to him.**

**"John,you know,I've never lied to you?"**

**Pausing as John nodded at him.**

**"On my life,I will never let anyone take you away from us.**

**You have got to help me,got to want to help yourself,Right?"**

**"For Clara,Daisy,the baby?"**

**He said looking between Rory and Clara.**

**"Yes,"**

**Clara touched his face with her hand,kissing him.**

**"Also for you,John,okay?"**

**"Okay" he said back to her.**

**Amy came in then with some coffee and toast for him.**

**"Morning Raggedy Man,breakfast?"**

**"No thanks!"**

**He threw himself under the covers.**

**"Not hungry"**

**"John come on this is what I mean"**

**Rory said**

**"Sit up and eat your breakfast"**

**When he pulled the covers further over his head,Rory pulled them off him.**

**Standing over John,looking him in the eye.**

**"John,your behaving like a spoilt child,do as your told,or I'll treat you like one. Sit up and eat the toast Amy made you."**

**Amy grinned at Clara and said "Daddy's back"**

**Rory gave her a look that was saying.**

**'Your not helping,with this'**

**John was still sulking,though he did as Rory said.**

**"That's better.I'm going for a shower,then I'm going to see if I can get Dr David to visit him today"**

**Amy followed Rory into their bedroom,he had his back to her.**

**"Rory,he's okay isn't he? Are you?"**

**When he turned round,he had tears,in his eyes.**

**"Rory?"**

**Amy went over to him,put her arms round him.**

**" Sweetheart,I'm sorry,I joked about..."**

**She started to say to him.**

**He rested his chin on her head.**

**"Amy,I think that he's getting worst,the pills are not working, he needs more than the two a day that were prescribed." **

**"Does Clara know,?" She asked him.**

**"She must! Look how he was when you brought in his breakfast.I really thought,Johnnie was back"**

**Pulling away from her slightly said.**

**He was very agitated when we went in as though he doesn't want to let any of us out of sight,especially Clara,we must make sure he doesn't cling to her to much,give her a break when we can,okay?"**

**She kissed him,**

**"That's, like you,Rory Williams,thinking of other people's feelings,go and have your shower I will give you some breakfast,then you can ring the surgery"**

**Clara was tidying the bedroom and getting dressed.**

**John had eaten some of the toast, drank the coffee,Clara had given him the pill with water making sure he had swallowed it,as Rory said to.**

**Not that he would do it deliberately, in the state of mind he was in at the moment could make him hide it. Gathering up the plates and cups on to the tray to take downstairs, she went to the door with the loaded tray.**

**John looked up...**

**"Where are you going!? Don't go...!"**

**"John,I'm just taking these down to the kitchen,Amy,must be running out of plates and cups because there all in our bedroom."**

**She tried to make a joke of it.**

**"I'll be back,soon sweetheart"**

**"No you don't love me..."**

**She put the tray down.**

**"This is silly,course I'm coming back"**

**Rory came in,hearing the end of the conversation,he took the tray for Clara,**

**"I'll carry that down for you,Clara,come and have your breakfast,you must be hungry now?"**

**Looking over at the man in the bed.**

**"John,I'll be back in 10 minutes,then you can shower, have a shave,okay?**

**He opened his mouth to protest.**

**"You don't want to end up in hospital,do you?"**

**When he shook his head,he continued.**

**" Calm down then,we're only d****ownstairs.10 minutes,okay?"**

**He pointed his finger at him.**

**"Behave...John"**

**They went on the landing,shutting the door.**

**"Rory,how do you do it,? Get him to do what you want?"**

**Clara asked then.**

**"He is so clingy you heard what he said? I don't love,him.**

**What are we going to do?"**

**Looking at the upset,Clara in front of him.**

**"We are going to carry on as normal,he is going to get up and come downstairs,I for one I'm not running up and down after him all day,neither are you,Clara"**

**"I don't mind,"she said.**

**"I do,"Rory said"your pregnant and shouldn't be doing it. Need to treat him as normal,right Clara?"**

**Giving her a look that booked no argument.**

**"He should be looking after you.,now come on breakfast,then I'll sort him"**

**By this time they were in the kitchen,and Amy put some tea,and toast in front of her,which she ate as she was hungry by now.**

**Rory loaded the dishwasher with the things they had brought from upstairs,he said.**

**"I rang the surgery,spoke to Doctor David,told him what as happened to John over the last 24 hours,he thinks it might be the medication is not strong enough, causing him to have the panic attacks.**

**He will come to see him later."**

**"Clara p-please" John's voice came from upstairs.**

**"I'll go and see to him.."**

**Clara got up to go with him.**

**"No,stay there I will get him to shower,shave,he's not well,but we shouldn't 'baby' him."**

** He went back upstairs,Amy said to Clara.**

**"Rory's right you know,if you keep doing things for him,he won't fight this!"**

**Clara sighed," I will try,its just I love him so much"**

**"We know you will" Amy said patting her hand.**

**Upstairs John was sat on the end of his bed. Rory came in to the room,he said,**

**"W-here's Clara?,I want her,"**

**"She's downstairs,you'll see her when your dressed"**

**Pulled him up off the bed.**

**"Bathroom,shower,shave go on,John"**

** Pushed him towards the door.**

**"Oh,but..."John started...**

**"No buts,hurry up,don't forget to shave,Clara won't kiss you if your all prickly,you know how funny women are.**

** I would have liked to have grown a beard" he mussed.**

**"Pond won't come near you if you do,"**

**John said smiling,the first one he had seen on him in 24 hours.**

**"Well,go on then,"**

**Rory made the bed, put out clean jeans and a tshirt for him.**

**" You can do this,yourself tomorrow,you should be looking after Clara,she needs to rest,not be running round after you"**

**Rory was trying to be cruel to be kind.**

**John had the grace to look guilty.**

**He headed for the bath room,where he showered and shaved feeling better.**

**If only his mind felt clearer, still had a feelings of dread,as though he was going to be pulled away from those he loved, surely they would not let that happen to him?"**

**He came back into the bedroom,where he started to get dressed.**

**"Now,that is more like the old John Smith"**

**Rory said,sat on the end of the bed.**

**"Oi,less of the old..."**

**John said to him,with another smile.**

**"Rory,you won't let them take me away,will you...?"**

**He was getting the feelings of dread coming over him again.**

**He put his arm,round him.**

**"John no way I promised. There are two women downstairs who will fight tooth and nail for you.**

**Come on let's go get a coffee,okay****"**

**They went downstairs, into the kitchen.**

**Amy was sat at the table with Clara,she looked John up and down,**

**"Well you,look better than yesterday,Raggedy Man"**

**Clara got up, kissed him.**

**"Hello,you"**

**She sat down on the sofa with him holding her hand.**

**"I love you"**

**he said touching her face,**

**"I'm sorry I've been such a problem"**

**"John" she said,**

**"you are never that,do you want a coffee?"**

**"Please"**

**Has she got up to make it he grabbed her hand, started to shake...**

**"Clara,please,stay.I don't want you to...go"**

** started to say,as though he couldn't get his breath.**

**"No,please" then he blacked out, was on the floor.**

**"Rory!"**

**Clara cried...He was he the kitchen with Amy and hadn't seen John collapse,he rushed over,**

**"What happened?"**

**"He was fine,I was going to get him a coffee. He started to shake,then he keeled over"**

**John was still unconscious, very pale.**

**"Amy,get me a wet cloth will you,?"she passed him a towel.**

**"Here"she said,"is he okay?"**

**"He should becoming round now,I don't like this,"**

** bathing his head with the damp cloth, looked at Clara,**

**"he didn't hit his head when he fell?**

**"Don't think so,"**

**All of a sudden John started to wake up,he didn't seem to know where he was.**

**"W-hat happened!? I'm on the floor?"**

**He tried to get up.**

**"No,John stay there a minute,"**

**Rory said,"how's your head?"**

**"Fuzzy! Think I was on the sofa with Clara. I was feeling breathles,S-she got up. I know it's silly, I had this feeling that she was going to leave and not come back,that's when everything went black.I'm alright can I get up now?"**

**Rory helped him back onto the sofa.**

**"Stay there for a while,"**

**he said."Do you still want that coffee?"**

**"Please"**

**"Clara,do you want to help?" He nodded his,head to the kitchen,where Amy was.**

**John had his eyes closed,but as soon as he heard Rory trying to take Clara with him to the kitchen,his eyes shot open, he grabbed for her hands shouting..**

**"No-no,please,don't go PLEASE...C-clara"he was pleading with her, shaking so much,Clara was afraid he would pass out again.**

**"John,it's okay,sweetheart.I'm not going anywhere,look see,Rory will get the coffee,'please'.she mouthed at him.**

**Rory nodded. Got up and went to the kitchen,Amy looked as he stood in the middle of the kitchen clensing his fists, going. **

**"Fuck ,Fuck!"under his,breath...**

**"Amy,I don't know what else to do,I think his panic attacks are getting worst,making him so 'paranoid' His mind must be telling him something,he won't let go of Clara! what the hell are we going to do!" **

**He pushed his hand through his hair, as he tried to think of a,way out of this.**

**Amy was getting worried,the worst that John got,would she ****have a sick husband on her hands.**

**This was not good for Clara in her condition,less than four weeks pregnant. She was having a bad time of it.**

**The doorbell rang.**

**"10 o'clock," she said to Rory. "**

**Maybe it's the Doctor?"**

**"God,I hope so" he said.**

**Walking through the lounge,Clara was still on the sofa with John holding him,stroking his head.**

**Opening the door,Doctor David was stood on the step.**

**"Hello,Rory,thought I would make you my first visit as you were saying on the phone he didn't seem to be responding to the pills?"**

**"Come in Doctor,I'm afraid he as got slightly more upset,since I spoke to you",he warned him..**

**He told him about how John was,getting paranoid,especially about being sent away.**

**"I don't think it will come to that,but I will have a look at him first"**

**He followed Rory into the lounge,John was still curled up with Clara,though he glanced warely at the Doctor.**

**"John," Rory said gently touching him on the shoulder.**

**Do you want to sit up,let the Doctor have a look at you?"**

**"NO..not going!"**

**Thinking the Doctor had come to take him away.**

** He held on to Clara tighter,she winched.**

**"John,sweetheart,"**

**she said looking at Rory over his shoulder,**

**"let's sit up..only I'm getting cramp like this,and its not good for the baby or me to be sat in this position.I promise,I will stay here with you,hold your hand,I won't let go,okay? Nobody is taking you anywhere. We promise don't we Rory?"**

**"Yes,John,you are staying here,I promise" Rory said.**

**"S-sorry" he said sitting up,he looked at the Doctor suspiciously.**

**"Hello,John,you remember me from the other day,yes...?"**

**John nodded at him...**

**"Will you let me examine you?"**

**he continued.**

**"I'm only going to listen to your chest,right?"**

**he said lifting John's t shirt.**

**John let him,but held on to Clara's hand.**

**"That's good"**

** he stood up and said to Rory,**

**"Yes,definitely a stronger dose,is needed. Don't give him any more of the ones I gave you first.I brought these for him there is enough for two weeks,he might not need them all"**

**Rory looked at the bottle which said.'one,three times,a day'"**

**Thanks Doctor I will walk you out"**

**Giving him a,look that said 'I would like,to talk before you go'**

**"Bye,John,I'm sure,you will be well again "**

**The Doctor said.**

**"Bye,Clara"**

**"Thank you,"**

**she smiled at him,but John moved closer to her,he didn't seem to trust the stranger,even though his mind told him he was trying to 'help' ****him.**

**In the hall,Doctor David,was,saying to Rory,**

**"He's not the same man,is he?"**

**"No,"Rory returned.**

**"They have only been here,since Sunday.**

** He as gone down and the reason,we have to put the funeral back to next week"**

**"He was going to divorce her,though?"**

**"Yes,but the fault was on her side,she was using drugs,sleeping with a man John thought was a friend." Rory said.**

**"He met Clara three weeks ago,though it seems,quick.**

**Their having a baby,Clara also has,Daisy,she's,seven.**

**John adores her,they were happy, until this happened"**

**The Doctor touched Rory on the shoulder,**

**"I'm sorry Rory,I really am,this must be really hard on you and Amy"**

**"Doctor, I have known him over thirty years,do you think there is any chance of getting the old John back? Will the pills help?"**

**" Rory,I wish there was a simple answer to that,a miracle"**

**Wishing he could help more.**

**"They might help get him over the panic attacks,then the counselling will help maybe.I'll push it through as soon as I can"**

** He showed the Doctor out Rory leaned his,head on the frame,and thought,**

**'Yes they needed a miracle'**

**Back in the lounge,John was still sat on the sofa with Clara.**

**He was still holding her hand,but least he,wasn't grabbing hold of her,God help her when she needed the loo.**

**In the kitchen,he got a glass of water, took one of the pills from the bottle.**

**Going up to John,he said.**

**"How about letting Clara have five minutes,John? You need to take this as well"**

**John looked at him in a panic, held onto Clara's hand even tighter.**

**"N-no" he said.**

**Rory put the pill and glass down on the table,he took John's hand,tried to pull him away from Clara.**

**"Now,stop this. Clara needs to go to the bathroom,he nodded with his head to hint at the door hoping she would catch on even if she didn't want to go.**

**"That's a very good idea,Rory,"**

**she said pulling away from John herself.**

**"I do need to go."**

**She got up to go from the room,John made to follow her. Rory pulled him back to him,he was shaking slightly.**

**"10 minutes"**

**He said to Clara,as she left,he held onto John. **

**"Come on,now stop it John,your just being silly,she's only gone to spend a penny.I'm here and Amy"**

**Pointing to where she was stood in the kitchen doorway.**

**"Look I want you to take this"**

**Letting go of John,he took the pill and glass giving it too him.**

**He thought he was going to refuse at first and knock the glass out of his hand. Something in John's mind must have made him aware,he needed to take it,so he did.**

**"That's good,"**

**he said to John taking the glass away, putting it down again.**

**"Come here,mate?"**

**Rory put his arms round him. He rocked him till the shaking stopped.**

**"Rory" he said.**

**"Hhmm"**

**"Thanks, now,need to s-sleep"**

**"Okay"**

**Rory helped him to lie down on the sofa, covered him, his breathing evened out,he collapsed into the armchair,with his head in his hands.**

**"Rory!"**

**Amy panicking hurrying over to him,putting her arms round him. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.**

**" Shush,don't wake him.I'm okay"**

**He wiped his eyes,**

**"it's just the adrenaline of coping with everything****"**

** he laughed then.**

**"What...?" said Amy looking at him.**

**"Thinking what my next move would have been if he had have thrown the pill at me instead of taking it..."**

**"He took it,thats good isn't it?"**

**Amy continued,"next time should be easier? Rory?"**

**When Clara came back in the room,John was asleep on the sofa, so was Rory in the armchair...**

**A/N**

**Will John start to get better now?**

**or will Rory have a breakdown,as well?**

**They still have to get to the funeral.**

**Please read and review.**

**Next chapter SOON.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 34**

**Rory shot up from the armchair..**

**"John?!"**

**"Woe,easy tiger,"Amy said,**

**"he's fine,still fast asleep"**

**She put her arms round him.**

**Rubbing his ****eyes Rory was covered with a blanket.**

**"What time is it?"**

**"Two,you've been asleep three hours,same as him"**

**Rory looked across at John fast asleep on the sofa,where he was curled round one of the cushions.**

**He said.**

**"Where's Clara?"**

**"I sent her for a nap about an hour ago,she was exhausted,as you were.**

**Rory do you want some lunch?"**

**His stomach rumbled.**

**"Oh yes ,please,I'm starving"**

**" Ham ****omelette****?" she said.**

**"Great,I'll just pop to the bathroom,"**

**His bladder felt so full,as he had drunk so much coffee since he had got up. **

**Looking in the mirror as he washed his hands,he thought,**

**'Rory you look nearly as bad as John!'**

**He knocked softly on Clara's door in case she was awake, she was, very much fast asleep with a pillow clutched to her like John.**

**Rory smiled, shutting the door quietly.**

**Going back downstairs to Amy,and his lunch he said.**

**"Clara is fast asleep,in the same position he is."**

**"I suppose the pillow makes a good 'John"substitute! 'she replied.**

**By the time Rory had eaten his lunch,John was starting to stir.**

**He went over to him on the sofa as John sat up, rubbing his eyes looked round confusingly.**

**"Hello,sleepy head,do you want a drink?" Rory said.**

**John nodded,licking his lips.**

**"Water please,my mouths really dry."**

**Amy brought him a glass of water from the kitchen,he drank it straight down.**

**"Thanks Pond"**

**He said,looking round,seeming to be looking for Clara,but he didn't ask for her,which Rory hoped was a good sign that he was getting better.**

**"Do you want something to eat,John?"Rory asked he nodded,**

**"What would you like..."**

**"Cheese on toast,but could I have another drink,first please,I'm really thirsty"**

**Rory felt his forehead.**

**"What," he said pulling away from him.**

** "Checking your not running a,temperature" Rory said,**

**"John Smith actually wanting to eat,juice,coffee?"**

**"Juice,please"**

**Amy followed Rory into the kitchen and put some bread under the grill.**

**Rory got a glass from the cupboard.**

**"He seems better "she said to Rory.**

**"Hmmm,don't forget he has only had one pill, a good ****sleep. We thought he was okay the other day until he got himself arrested!"**

**"He is not going though that door until he's been on these a few more days,even if I have to tie him to the bed!" He replied.**

**Amy smiled at that picture in her head,**

**"Oh,I think Clara would like that!"**

**" Make the cheese on toast for him.I'll see if I can get him to take this with the juice"**

**Taking the pill from the bottle. "Amy"**

**he said."If he wants water or juice give it to him,it could be the pills making him thirsty,the more he drinks the better"**

**She nodded.**

**Going back into the lounge,John was still sat on the sofa,Rory gave him the glass of juice.**

**Putting the pill in front of him,John pulled a face,but took it, swallowed it down with the juice.**

**"Good",Rory said.**

**"Amy won't be long with your cheese on toast,how are you feeling now?"**

**"Okay,"he said looking at him. "How are you Rory?"**

**"Me never better,why?"**

**"Because you look like shit!" he continued.**

**"Oi!"**

**Rory thought he having a joke with him, when he saw his face,he noticed tears coming down his cheeks.**

**"John,hey come on,"**

**he sat next to him on the sofa,touching him on the arm.**

** "What is it?"**

**"You're getting ill I'm the cause of it"**

**He looked over at Rory saying.**

**"What about Clara,how can I look after her,my family,if I can't look after myself?" **

**"John,I'm tired that's all.****I've got too many cases on going at Master's you know how it is,you worked there yourself."**

**Rory was worried in case he was getting depressed again.**

**In some ways the old John was there,fighting against the panicking one.**

**"You have had some bad luck that's,all,John,when this weeks over..."**

**"The funeral,you mean?"**

**"Yes,do you still want to marry Clara,you are not going to let what happened with Sue,stop you?"**

**"Course not,that's not the problem" he said.**

**"Then what is?"Rory asked.**

**"Its if I can cope, look after Clara,Daisy. If I never get over this,I will be no good, if I can't look after them or myself?"**

**"John,your running before you can walk!You were coping with your life before all this shit hit the fan"**

**It's only the shock of what happened with Sue and Jack with the drugs.**

**If it hadn't had been that that triggered it something else would have"**

**Rory felt he was,going round in circles with him.**

**"And just how gullible was I over Sue and Jack?"**

**John said.**

**"Oh come on,John,I've known Jack as long as you have,even I didn't know,he was dealing,and Sue just got caught up in it.**

**Did you love her?"**

**He said suddenly.**

**"Is that why you went for Jack yesterday in the restaurant?"**

**Rory was,getting tired of this now,of John feeling so sorry for himself! He had also spotted Amy in the kitchen doorway,listening.**

**The conversation was turning into an argument she thought,so had decided not to bring John his lunch yet.**

**John turned round to Rory in a fury, his fists,clenched at his,sides,**

**" What the,fuck is that suppose to mean? I cared about how she was used by Jack because he wanted a customer for his drugs"**

**John was absolutely livid.**

**"He never cared,about her or that she died because she was so high she climbed into my car,fucking crashed it into a wall. Anyway,I love,Clara.**

**If he could have he would have taken her from me,as well!**

**What Jack wants,he thinks he can get!"**

**He was starting to sob now"**

**Rory was yelling back at him.**

**"Prove it! ****Show us that your better than him! Get on with your life John!"**

**"Rory."Amy came in touching him on his shoulder.**

**"Hey what's all the shouting about"**

**Clara came in the lounge**

**John wiped his eyes, he took Clara's hand,sat her down on the sofa,then he got down on one knee,**

**"Clara,I love you,will you marry me?"**

**"John,"I said I would when you asked me the first time" **

**she said touching his face,puzzled.**

**"I know "he said. "2nd of August marry me on that date,two months time."**

**"She threw herself in his arms,"Oh yes please,I like that date..."she was kissing him and kissing him.**

**"I like this,shall we go upstairs,"John said.**

**"I just came down",Clara said.**

**But we can after we've eaten"**

**she whispered in his ear.."cuddle."!**

**"Oi,Pond,did you say something about cheese on toast?"**

**"Coming up,"**

**Amy said shaking her head,as she headed back to the kitchen pausing in the doorway,**

**"For two?"**

**"Oh,yes,"John said pulling Clara onto his knee "always,for two"**

**Rory followed her she turned round to him.**

**"What just happened,in there?"**

**"I got tired of the soft approach," he said "John needed a good kick up the backside...,I think that he got that...and the pills seem to be working.."**

**Amy was stood near the door again peeking,John was kissing Clara and she was kissing him back with equal passion.**

**"You know you said about tying him to the bed?,I definitely think Clara will do that now"**

**"AMY!"**

**Rory pulled her away,**

**"Watch the toast"**

**"Yes,"she said putting the cheese on it,then back under the grill."**

**"I'd better give them something to eat,before they eat each other..."**

**A/N**

**Think that John is coming back,**

**and all it took was a good argument with **

**Rory to do it.**

**Hope to sort the funeral next chapter.**

**Please read and Review.**

**Thank You.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 35**

**The next few days passed quite quickly for them.**

**Then it was Wednesday morning the day of the funeral.**

**John had been surprisingly calm since he and Rory had the big fight the week before,he was still on the pills for his depression,but seemed happier in himself.**

**Clara woke looked at the clock..7 am.**

**Reaching over too John's side of the bed,it was empty..Where was he?**

**Putting on her dressing gown,went downstairs.**

**He was sat at the kitchen table but didn't hear her come in at first.**

**"John," she said touching his face,he jumped.**

**"****W****-what...?"**

**"Sorry! didn't mean to startle you,are you okay?"she sat on his knee,as he turned towards her,putting his arms round her.**

**"I'm fine" he said kissing her as he put his hand to her stomach..."How's junior this morning? Hello!" he said. **

** Clara,giggled.**

**Oh she loved him when he was like this!**

**She picked up his cup from the table she sipped it.**

**"Ugh! John this is stone cold...How long have you been sat here? What time did you get up?"**

**He looked at her,not being able to lie to her...**

**"5am, I couldn't sleep"**

**"Oh John,"she said "you should have woken me"**

**"No,"he replied"you need your sleep,besides I've upset you enough this week.I'm okay..really."He kissed her, "think I'll go have a shower.."**

**Clara,slipped from his knee,**

**"Alright sweetheart,do you want me to come up with you?"**

**"Oh,for heaven,sake Clara,I don't "NEED"my hand holding in the bathroom...!"he said.**

**Her face fell,and John regretted the words soon as they were out his mouth.**

**He turned to her...**

**"I'm sorry that was uncalled for," he touched her face."Best go before I say something else" he said.**

**As he went out of the kitchen,Amy came in,**

**"Morning Raggedy Man,breakfast?"**

**"Not just yet,Pond,thanks" he said going passed her,"later."**

**Amy put the kettle on and turned to Clara,**

**"Is he okay?Thought I heard raised voices as I came in?"**

**"Not really," Clara replied " think he is just worried about today,be glad when things,are back to normal,he's also been up since 5 am."**

**"Think we all will" Amy said "Things can get back to the way they you can both look forward to this baby."**

**"Where's Rory?"Clara,asked.**

**"Still in bed,don't worry,he will keep an eye on John today,mind you,he is better than he was,the pills have helped a lot.**

**Maybe he should have been on them sooner?"**

**"Perhaps,"said Clara,"but to put a child on pills. Auntie thought he would get over it...forget..**

**I suppose he did for a while."**

**"Morning,"Rory yawned as he came into the kitchen."Was going to go straight into the shower,but John beat me to it," he looked at the two women..."What,is he okay?"**

**Amy put a coffee in front of him.**

**"He will be once today is over,"she said"He's been up since 5am"**

**"Right...said Rory,he looked at Clara,"I'll have a word later..."**

**"I'll go get ready,see how he is,do you mind if I use the bathroom next?"she said to Rory."**

**"Sure,I'll have my breakfast and come up don't worry ,Clara" he said he touched her hand..."It will be okay,he will get through today with our help."**

**Going into their bedroom,John was sat on the bed.**

**He was dressed in his suit apart from the jacket which he'd hung on the back of the chair.**

**He looked up as Clara came into the room,he smiled at her.**

**"Bathrooms free if you want a shower"**

**"Just going,now,you're ready early,John " she said..."it's not eight o clock Amy and Rory are both downstairs,why don't you go and have some breakfast with them?"**

**"Think,I will I'll see you in awhile sweetheart" he kissed her as she headed to the bathroom.**

**John headed downstairs,he had no intention of going into the kitchen or eating breakfast.**

**He could hear Amy talking to Rory but didn't go to the kitchen.**

**Wanted to be by himself ,but didn't want them to worry about him..wrote a note using the pad on the hall table..**

**"Don't worry,gone for a walk.**

**Need to be by myself for awhile.**

**Back by half nine...**

**JOHNX**

**He stuck the note on the mirror and then he slipped out the front door..Not sure where to go,he walked up to the park at the end of the road.**

**Sitting on the bench watching a little boy and girl on the swings with their Dad,he thought,Daisy would love this would have to bring her next time they visited Amy and .Rory..it was nearly two weeks since he had seen her,he really was missing her...was sure Clara was too.**

**Meanwhile..**

**Clara came back into the bedroom,she thought John must have gone downstairs for breakfast.**

**She heard Rory go into the bathroom and the shower turn on.**

**Pulling a little black dress from the wardrobe,she put it on with black leggings for the funeral. Then her shoes and brushing her hair,she tied it with a ribbon.**

**She would**** come back up for her coat and bag later..**

**Going downstairs,she went into the kitchen,looking round she said.**

**"Where's John?"**

**"What,"Amy replied."I thought he was upstairs with you."**

**"He was half an hour ago,when I went for a shower,he said he was coming down for breakfast..."Clara,was worried now."Where is he?!"**

**"Hang on..."Amy went to the foot of the stairs and shouted..."RORY!"**

**He put his head over the banisters,**

**"What..."he was dressed in a suit and tie...**

**"IS John up there with you...?"**

**"Course not,thought he was,with Clara "**

**"Oh this is,ridiculous!"Rory said coming down the stairs," he must be somewhere in the house...Please tell me he's not gone walkabout,not today." He looked at his watch,half past eight..."We have to find him,we've got to leave in an hour.**

**He can't have gone far,in what half an hour..?"**

**Clara nodded.**

**"I'll go and look for him"**

**As he took his jacket from the hook near the hall mirror.**

**"Hang on,he's left us,a note...says he'll be back by half nine,not we're he's gone though..."Looking at Clara`s worried face,he sighed again..okay,I'll go and look..."**

**"I'll come" said Clara.**

**"I'll put the kettle on"Amy said.**

**Rory and Clara walked down to the gate..**

**"The high street,is in that direction,and the park the other way." He said to her."which do you think?or do you want to go one way and I'll go the other?"**

**"No,the park," she said.." That's were he'll be.."**

**They walked up to the park gates.**

**"There he is,"Clara said."on that bench near the swings"she touched Rory on the arm,"please don't give him a hard time,he's okay..we've still got time to get to the crematorium."**

**"Wasn't going to" he said."least he left us a note."**

**John hadn't seen them come in the park,he looked up when they approached.**

**"Clara,what are you doing here?"he looked over her shoulder at Rory,**

**"I'm sorry... wanted to be on my own for a while,before we,you know...had some thinking to do..."**

**"Hey! mate,it's,alright...we understand"Rory said.**

**Everyone needs a moment to themselves."He looked at Clara then sat down next to John on the bench.**

**"John,we,will understand if you don't want to do this today...I will do it if you can't"**

**John turned his head sharply.**

**"No,I owe her this,she as no one but me.I've just realised how luck I am... got Clara and Daisy,the baby,Auntie, you and Amy..**

**it's as though I have just climbed out of a,big black hole.**

** I know who I am at last. Still have to see the Doctor at the hospital,because I need to talk about my childhood, it's the time for that."**

**He got up from the bench,stretched saying,**

**"Shall we go and do this then?" **

**Clara looked at Rory,she couldn't believe the change that had come over him,it was as though the old John had come back. He took her hand.**

**"Well come on then,it's gone nine,time for a quick coffee before we leave?"**

**Walking back across the park holding Clara's hand said,**

**" Think We'll bring Daisy here next time we come for a visit,have a picnic like before?"**

**Clara smiled remembering the day they had talked,his first day in Tadchester. She squeezed his hand.**

**"You'll see her soon,I miss her too.**

**We will be going home in a few days,we ****can ring Auntie later today...talk to her then?"**

**"Okay"**

**Walking back to the house,Amy was waiting for them in the kitchen.**

**"There you are Raggedy Man,not got yourself arrested this time?**

**John stuck his tongue out at her...then hugged her to him.**

**" Woe,what's that for?"**

**"Nothing,Pond just pleased to see you..."**

**"Coffee,toast?"she said to him.**

**"coffee thanks,not hungry, I will be when we go for lunch later."**

**They were going out for lunch,as they did not expect anyone else to turn up for the funeral.**

**By half past nine they were in the car on the way to the crematorium on Chelsea Road. Rory parked up the car,he said,**

**"It will only be a very short service,half an hour at most"**

**They walked up to the main doors which were shut,the sign on the door said.**

**"9.30am Taylor funeral.**

**10.00am Smith funeral.**

**"We'll have to wait Rory said.**

**"Its,only ten to...they will open the doors when the other party as gone out the other side.**

**John sat on the bench seat just outside,he pulled on Clara's hand,**

**"Do you want to sit down?"**

**"No,I'm fine...John,you are okay aren't you?"**

**"Of course...just want to get this over with"**

**The doors opened then,and the hearse with sue's coffin in arrived from the funeral home.**

**The funeral director shook hands with John and Rory.**

**"Mr Smith,Mr Williams,if you want to follow her in..." Rory put his hand on John's arm,**

**"I'm alright" he said,though he did look pale.**

**Clara took his hand in hers,and said to him,**

**"Together?"**

**He nodded at her as they walked down the aisle,Rory and Amy followed behind all sat in the front row.**

**The rest of the room was empty.**

**The doors opened,and a woman of about sixty in a black coat came in.**

**She had dyed blond hair,heavy makeup,thick red lipstick.**

**Coming up to the front where they were all sat.**

**Approaching where the two men where,she said.**

**"John?"**

**"That's me,he said,looking at Rory thinking there was something familiar about the woman,but what?**

**"I'm,Gloria...Susan's mother."**

**"WHAT! HOW?"John couldn't believe what he was seeing or hearing...**

**A/****N**

**Well, what a shock for John.**

**I will try to explain in the next chapter**

**Why Sue kept her mother secret, as she told **

**John she was an orphan..**

**Please read and review.**

**Next chapter SOON.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 36**

**John still couldn't believe the woman stood in front of him.**

**She did have a resemblance to the younger Sue.**

**"I don't understand" He said.**

** "I asked Sue when we got married,she said her parents were dead"**

**Gloria laughed.**

**"Suppose that's partly true,her Dad left before she was born. I brought her up by myself.**

**She had what I could give her,but always wanted more,the next best thing.**

**Sue kept in touch with me but was ashamed,so kept me a secret"**

**John had his head in his hands.**

**Rory rounded on her.**

**"Why now? What is the point? Do you want money?"**

**"Rory" John said looking up at him. **

**"It doesn't matter anymore"**

** Then he said to Gloria**

**"Did you know about the drugs,Jack?"**

**"Not at first,or that, she was sleeping with him behind your back,Sue let that slip later.**

**She was losing it at the end,because of your divorce,couldn't get what she wanted from Jack,so"_**

**Looking over at John.**

**"She came to see me at my Aunt's to try to talk me into coming back"**

**John holding Clara's hand.**

**"I'd had enough by then. Moved on with my life. I told her where to go"**

**"Even though I shouldn't say it about my own child,I'm glad you did.I thought she should be grateful for what life had given her"**

**"Mother,she use to say,men are there to be taken for what ever you can get from them!"**

**Clara touched John's hand.**

**"I think he wants to start"**

**Gloria sat down on a seat in the opposite aisle as the man on the lectern started to speak.**

**"We are here to say goodbye to Susan Smith,wife,daughter friend,she was a model took from us aged thirty"**

**He looked across at them,Rory nodded for him to draw the curtains across the coffin.**

**There was really no more to be said. There seemed to be no love lost between Sue and her mother as well as John.**

**Clara felt John's hand tighten in hers.**

**"Good riddens!"_**

**She heard Amy mutter under her breath.**

**"Amy!"Rory,nudded her.**

**"Well"_ She said back.**

**The man came shock hands,with John who seemed in a daze,with what he'd found out in the last half hour.**

**To Rory, he said.**

**"I've never done one that short before."**

**'Well,he was getting a divorce' Rory thought,though didn't say.**

**"If you would like time for contemplation before you leave you are most welcome"**

**"Thank you"**

**John said he did not need to,but wanted ****to talk more to Gloria.**

**He got up and went across to her.**

**"I'm sorry,Sue treated you that way.**

**Do you need anything?" He asked.**

**Gloria looked at him.**

**"I didn't come here for your money"**

**She said softly then looking at Clara.**

**"Is that your lady friend? She's very pretty"**

**"Yes,she is, I met her after Sue and me split up"**

**He replied back.**

**"John.I understand,after what Sue put you through,you deserve to be happy" **

**Standing to leave.**

**"I only came today to say my goodbyes.**

**I'm sorry Sue was like this with you. Be happy"**

**Taking his hand,kissed his cheek.**

**"Rory"_**

**As she turned to leave.**

**"Have you got one of your business cards on you?"**

**Rory took out his wallet,and handed one to him,which he then gave to Gloria.**

**"I'm no longer practising at the moment,"**

**Looking at Clara, smiling... **

**"I'm doing,other things, but if you ever need anything Rory will find me"**

**"Thank you"_**

** Gloria said putting it in her purse.**

**"I expect you won't see me again John"**

**Then she was gone.**

**"Well she was!"_ Amy said trying to put into words.**

**"Not now Pond"**

**John said not looking at her as he watched Gloria leave.**

**"Well,shall we go and have lunch?"_**

**Clara looked at Amy and Rory as they followed him out of the building into the car park.**

**Standing near Rory's car his back was to them,**

**but his shoulders were shaking.**

**"John!" Clara hurried up to him."What!"**

**He turned round to her with tears in his eyes.**

**"I'm alright. It's over!"**

**Putting his arms round Clara,hugged her to him.**

**They went to the 'Golden Fleece' for lunch.**

**While waiting for a table,Rory looking at John.**

**"What?"_**

**"Do you think we'll hear from her again?"**

**"Gloria?" John asked.**

**Rory nodded.**

**"Shouldn't think so,but I've been thinking,Sue's estate it should go to her"**

**"Why?"_ Rory asked.**

**"You were married to her, had to put up hell of a lot!"**

**He looked worried.**

**"Are you sure about this John? Just because she says she is Sue's Mother. It could be a scam"**

**" Rory,the likeness, for a start,surely that's how Sue would look in thirty years time,that's"_**

**"Your mother-in-law" Amy commented.**

**John looked at her shuddering.**

**"Don't joke. Pond please.**

**Anyway,I have enough for our needs"**

**Holding Clara's hand, then kissing her fingers.**

**"You could find out,sort it?"**

**"If that's what you want,John" He replied.**

**"We can do it tomorrow afternoon with Sue's solicitor,I've made an appointment to see him"**

**"Table for Williams" The waiter called.**

**"That's us" John said getting up.**

** "Come on,I'm starving"_**

**They had never seen John so eager to eat for a long-time.**

**He ploughed his way through a starter,main course then a pudding.**

**"John_slow down!"**

**Clara said,feeling slightly sick watching him.**

** "You'll get ill later eating like that!"_**

**"I feel as though I've not eaten anything in the last few days only coffee and toast" **

**John replied between mouthfuls.**

**"You haven't" Rory said.**

**Just as worried._**

**"John please,you'll be sick"**

**"I think he's the one who's pregnant" Amy commented.**

**"Ha ha,very funny Pond,are you going to eat that"**

**He asked her looking at the plate with the trifle on she had for her dessert.**

**Amy sighed,pushing it over to him.**

**"No,you can have it,just don't sit next to me in the car going home.**

**If he's sick,Rory,you can clean it up"**

**"Oh great! John,don't you dare!"**

**Rory said.**

**"Who's for coffee anyway?"**

**They all did except Clara who wanted tea.**

**After Rory paid the bill,they went out to the car. On the way home,John who was sat in the back holding Clara's hand said.**

**"Rory,do you mind if we stop off in the high street,I want to get something"**

**"Indigestion tablets? Think I've some in the seat pocket there"**

**Pointing behind him.**

**John closed his eyes.**

**" Stop it! I'm not going to be sick!" He said.**

** "Just take me to the high street,please"**

**"What are you up ?" Clara asked.**

**"You'll see" He replied.**

**"Pull into this side street here"**

**Getting out of the car.**

**"Ten minutes,okay?"**

**He leaned back in the window,kissed Clara on the lips, then walked off round the corner.**

**"Rory! Will he be all right on his own?" Amy asked.**

**"Look, Amy we've got to trust him!"**

**Rory said.**

**"Give him the ten minutes, if he's not back,I'll go look for him"**

**"He's been in a funny mood since before lunch" Clara said.**

**"Perhaps he's gone to get a present for Daisy?"**

**Rory said.**

**"You are going home in a couple of days?"**

**"Maybe" Said Clara.**

**"We've bought so much for the baby,I don't want her to get jealous,even before,it's born"**

**"He's coming back" said Amy looking out the window.**

** John came round the corner and got back into the car.**

**"What?"_**

**As they all looked at him.**

**"Yes,what indeed,have you been up to Raggedy Man?"**

**Amy said suspicious.**

**"Don't be so nosey Pond,you'll find out soon enough"**

**Rory said,yawning,pulling away from the curb.**

**"Do you think we can go home now,you know,that place that's got coffee and armchairs?"**

**When they got back,Amy went to put the kettle on,John loosened his tie and sat on the sofa,next to Clara who was half asleep.**

**"Clara"**

** He said putting his arm round her.**

**"Hmmm!"_**

**She said opening her eyes to see a little black box in his hand,her heart started to beat a little faster. Was that?**

**"I was going to pick this up the other day, after we had had lunch,but events sort of got out of control"**

**He rubbed the back of his neck. Remembering.**

**"Like you to have it now_"**

**Clara took the box from him and opened it.**

**In it was a ring with a white diamond. She couldn't speak at first.**

**"If you don't like it"**

**John continued, taking her silence for that.**

**"We can always change it"_**

**Suddenly,she screaming and throwing herself at John.**

**Rory,who had been nodding off in the armchair shot up.**

**Amy ran in from the kitchen,to see Clara covering John in kisses while holding up her left hand.**

**"BLOODY HELL !?" Rory said.**

**_"Clara where's the fire?"**

**"Look,Amy,Rory,what he's given me"**

**She rushed over to Amy,who looked at her hand.**

**" I suppose that makes it official then"**

**Shaking John's hand then hugged him.**

**"Well done mate"**

**"Yes"_Amy said swopping with Rory to sit next to him on the sofa and hugging him.**

**" You done something good,Raggedy man"**

**"I take it that you like the ring then?"**

**John said as Clara,sat down on his knee and held her hand up admiring it.**

**"Oh,yes,it's,beautiful,thank you John"**

**She hugged him**

**"I never expected you to give me anything so lovely as this"**

**She was getting tearful now.**

**"Why?"He replied.**

**" You deserve it_**

**"I've got you" she said.**

** "As we're getting married in August,I didn't think we would be have the time to be engaged"**

**John kissed her.**

**" I wanted you to have it,besides,I have one more surprise,though strictly speaking this,isn't for you"**

**He took another box from his pocket.**

**"Do you think"He said.**

**"That a certain person will like this?" as he handed it to her.**

**Clara opened it,inside was a,necklace made of silver it said "DAISY" with a,silver heart at the end of the "Y"**

**"Because she as my heart as well" John said.**

**"OH,John," she said.**

**Daisy will love this."Then burst into tears.**

**He laughed.**

**"Why do I have this,affect on you?"**

**"It because I'm H-happy" she said in between the tears wiping her eyes.**

**" Well,I'd hate to see you when you're sad" Rory stated.**

**"She was just the same when I asked her to marry me the first time"John said.**

**"Amy said. "I'll think about it!"Rory said.**

**Faraway look in his eyes.**

**"_Hey_I did not!"**

**Amy was still sat next to him on the sofa.**

**John put his,arm round Amy.**

**Liked this arms,round his two favourite girls.**

**"I thought it was you will marry me or "else"Pond!" **

**"Never forget the or "else",she said.**

**"Well,better go and finish making the drinks"**

**she got up and kissed John on the cheek...**

**"Well done,you" she whispered.**

**Clara got up as well.**

**"I'll help,Amy."**

**She was holding her hand admiring it.**

**"It is lovely"**

**Amy said as they walked to the kitchen,**

**"you will have to come back next month,bring Daisy and we will do shopping for dresses and shoes"**

**"Oh-oh mate,you'll never hear the end of wedding talk now,it will be clothes,shoes,receptions etc, for the next two months. You did reinforce your credit cards?"**

**Rory said.**

**John smiled after the girls.**

**"What ever Clara wants,as long as she's happy! Rory...you don't think it was wrong of me to do this today,give the ring to Clara and everything?"**

**"Because of the funeral?" Rory said.**

**John nodded.**

**"No ,I don't,you need to get on with your life,John.**

**Especially if you want to get well. I know you are better than you were two weeks ago,but you still have some way to go.**

**You need each other,don't ruin it okay?"**

**"I won't.I want to make her happy,and I have so many plan's for the hotel. This is why I want to sell the flat,sort out my parent's money,I'm going to need it" He said.**

**"I can do that for you over the next few weeks,the only thing we need to do before you go home is sign Sue's over to her mother,if you still want that?"**

**Rory asked him.**

**"Yes,I do,I think it's only right"**

** looking at Rory..**

**"I-we don't need it,she does for what Sue put her through! I don't want to talk about this"**

**Then,John said.**

**"Rory,you will be my best man? Won't you?"**

**"Mate,after what we've been through together,I will be honoured!"**

**A/N**

**Well,think that it's time to let **

**John and Clara returned home to Daisy and**

**Auntie...**

**But there are lots of trails to come yet in the **

**Lead up to the wedding.**

**There will be another visit to Rory and **

**Amy's.****John should have reinforced his credit cards**

**by then like Rory said.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 37**

**Thursday morning**

**John and Clara were in bed,"cuddling"over just lay together contented.**

**Clara kept looking at the ring on her left hand,to John's amusement.**

**"Your going to wear that out before I even put the wedding band on with it" he said.**

**"It's so lovely!" she said.**

**Turning her hand so the light was catching the diamond.**

**"I can't wait until Saturday to show everyone,especially the necklace for Daisy.**

**She is going to love it! John do you think we can go shopping tomorrow?"**

**"More baby stuff?" He asked.**

**"No,I'd like to get some things for Daisy,I don't want her to think she's getting pushed out. Do you mind?"**

**"Clara,what ever you want for Daisy,you can have,you don't have to ask"**

**Touching her stomach.**

** "Sweetheart,you know I will treat her like my own don't you? She won't get pushed out,in favour of him or her" **

**"I know"_**

** Clara kissed him.**

**"You've proved that with the necklace you've bought her. It's now when,she might think ****"I'm"**** replacing her with the baby,I don't want to play favourites,but when we get home on Saturday and she sees all the things we've bought"**

**"Clara, I understand,we will go shopping tomorrow for whatever a seven year old girl might like"**

**He rubbed his chin.**

**"Though you might have to point me in the right direction on some things!?"**

**"I love you,"Clara said kissing him again.**

**"I know you have to go with Rory today to sort things out with ****Sue's**** solicitor"**

**"I also have to get my stuff from the flat,before it's sold." He replied.**

** "What won't fit in the car,Rory and Amy will store for me until I can arrange to move it to Tadchester,some of the furniture was my parents,but most of it can be sold at auction"**

**"Are you sure that's what you want,John?" Clara replied.**

**" I don't mind if you want to use some of it for the new flat at the hotel,it would save money"**

**"No,Clara. It's a new start.I can afford it,besides I only want was my parents. Nothing to remind me of the last four years" **

**John was off staring into space.**

**Clara was lay curled up on his chest,she put her hand up to his face. He was getting maudlin.**

**"None of that. Its over and done with.**

**This is the future. She put his hand on her stomach again.**

**He smiled at her.**

**"Sorry,it's just the odd thought makes me remember. Something is missing at the back of my mind"**

**He shrugged "Maybe it's the anti depressants,they do help,but sometimes my mind feels so cloudy"**

**Clara's heart sank she,made a note to have a quiet word with Rory before John and him went out.**

**Not thinking said_**

**"John,you are still taking them? You wouldn't stop without saying?"**

**"Course I am!" He looked at her with hurt eyes.**

**"Don't you trust me,Clara?"**

**"John,of course! I worry,that's all You have_****"**

**She started to say.**

**John sat up in the**** bed,pushing her away from him.**

**_"You don't trust me!" He snapped. Getting up off the bed.**

**"Fine! I'm going to have a shower.**

**Unless you don't trust me in the bathroom on my own?"**

**Rounding on her.**

**"You think I'm saving all the pills and I'm going to take them all in one go when your backs are turned!"**

**"JOHN! please! I don't" Clara pleaded with him,tears In her eyes.**

**"I trust you! I do"!_**

**She tried to put her arms around him. He shook her away.**

**"Leave me alone,Clara!"**

**H****e rushed to the bedroom door pulled it open. Rory was just coming out of the bathroom,John nearly knocked him over in his haste to get away.**

**"John!" Grabbing for him."What's the matter?"**

**John pulling away from him,Rory noticed that he was crying.**

**'Now what?' He thought.**

**"Mate,come on?"**

**"Go away Rory_You don't as well!"_**

**"I don't what?"_Rory said puzzled.**

**John wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.**

**Shook his head_at him.**

**_"Trust me"_**

** He went to go downstairs. Rory reaching for him again.**

**"Stop it,John,I thought you had got passed this.**

**You are going to get sick again_**

**What is the matter!?"**

**Looking at Clara,her face stained with tears.****Stood in the doorway of the bedroom.**

**He came to a decision.**

**"Come on,****we need to talk"**

**"NO!" John's eyes blazed fire.**

**"_I DONT WANT_TO TALK TO ANYONE!"**

**"AND I SAID YES NOW!"**

**Rory was as determined pushing John in front of him. Downstairs.**

**"Clara! stay there!" He said over his shoulder, as she went to follow them.**

**When they went through the kitchen,Amy said.**

**"Rory! What is going on!? What's all yelling and shouting about?"**

**"Amy,go up to Clara will you? Somethings happened,not sure what yet"**

**With a look to John who was trying still to get away from him.**

**"I'm going to find out! No John!"**

**He said as he went to go out the door."You are coming in the office with me. NOW!"**

**Dragging him into his office,he pushed him onto the sofa that was in there.**

**He pointed at him.**

**"YOU! Are going to sit there,until you tell me what the HELL is going on. You're not getting out of here,John until we sort this.I mean it!" **

**John sat with his arms folded and a sulky look on his face.**

**"Well!" Rory said to him."I take it you and Clara have had an argument? For God's sake,John will you talk to me!"**

**John shot up from the sofa.**

**"SIT DOWN! SO HELP ME I WILL SIT ON YOU!" Rory yelled.**

**Moving towards his friend.**

**John subsided back on to the sofa.**

**"She doesn't trust me." He said tearfully.**

**"Clara?"Rory asked.**

**John nodded.**

**"She thinks I'm not taking my pills" **

**"And are you?"Rory asked.**

**"Yes,they make me feel better,but odd"_**

**"Odd?"**

**"Rory I have moments,spaced out as though I'm not here.**

**Like pieces are missing"**

**"How do you feel now?" Rory asked him."Frightened,anxious?"**

**"Angry and upset!" He said, "though it's passing. I ****shouted at Clara"**

**He had his head in his hands,looking up said.**

**"OH God! I shouted at her!"**

**John stood quickly.**

**"John sit down.**

**"But_"**

**"We haven't finished talking yet" Rory said,as John subsided into the sofa.**

**"I think you both need to talk to clear the air, also you both need to stay here with us a while longer,a few more days,till we finish sorting out your flat and other things"_**

**"Rory,we can't" John said.**

**"We've put on you and Amy enough.**

**What about your job? We have to get back for Daisy,school"**

**"John,I will sort it,I was going to take some holidays anyway..Another week here with Amy and me? I will ring Auntie to sort out about Daisy and school right? I will speak to Amy, then send Clara in here so you two can talk"**

** He patted him on the shoulder.**

**"You have to calm down though..Getting worked up will only make you ill again.I don't think you have anything to worry about,you just need a few more days that all"**

**John nodded. "Rory_**

**"Thank You"**

**"Hey,no problem,after all,what's a best man for?"**

**That earned him a smile.**

**"Back soon_"**

**Going out the door,he found Amy and Clara waiting for him.**

**"Rory,is,he alright?"Clara,asked him tearfully "It was my fault.I asked him if he was still taking his pills. He got upset with me,now thinks I don't trust him. I do!"**

**"Lets go sit in the lounge.I tell you what's happening"**

**Sitting Clara. He said.**

**"I've calmed him down.**

**He's still taking the pills, I understand why you thought he wasn't,though.**

**"John ****is having "blank" moments,things seem "missing" for him"**

**"He said as much to me"**

**Clara said then.**

**I didn't think, I shouldn't have said to him_"**

**No,these,things,are best out in the open"**

**Rory said,touching her hand.**

**"It could be from his childhood,when he was "Johnnie",I don't know?**

**He will have to discuss this with the Doctor when he gets the appointment"**

**"But,he is alright?" Amy said to him worried.**

**"What I've suggested"_**

**Rory said."Is you both stay another week,while we sort his flat. This should give him closure for a start. I will ring Auntie,sort out about school for Daisy.**

**Is this alright with you,Clara? If you want to go home? I can take you. **

**"No,I miss Daisy,but want to stay with John,if you think this will work? You both have done so much for him_us,I feel we are putting you out"**

**Clara voicing what John had said.**

**Amy sat down next to her. Put her arms round her.**

**"Never think that!" she said.**

**"Anything for Raggedy Man,besides we need to get him well for the wedding right?"**

**Clara nodded.**

**"Clara,"Rory said,"Do you think your Dad would move in your flat,to look after Daisy for this week?"**

**"He might" She said.**

**"I could ask,are you going to ring Auntie now. I could ring my Dad when you have done that?"**

**"Tell you what,"Rory said,"Why don't you go in the office,talk to John,while I ring Auntie,then you can ring your Dad"**

**Clara got up and walked to the office door,she hesitated. Rory came up behind her,kissed her on the head.**

**"Go make it up with him,he's sorry!"**

**He gave her a little push. She went into the office and shut the door.**

**"Right,now to ring Auntie" picking up his phone.**

**It rang three times,before it was answered.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Auntie,it's Rory"**

**"Hello,I was going to ring Clara later" she asked.**

**"Did the funeral go okay"**

**"It went,as we expected" Rory replied.**

**"Is,John,alright?" She asked.**

**"Sort of.**

**We've have had a few little problems,nothing I can't handle,so please don't panic" He said. Before she could. **

**"I thought he was doing well with the pills?"she seemed puzzled.**

**"He is, I think he needs to talk to someone now, he needs that appointment for the Doctor to come"**

**Telling her about John's "missing" moments how he was up one minute,down the next and that he had persuaded him and Clara,to stay another week to sort things.**

**"The thing is,Auntie,their both worried about Daisy and school,we wondered if Clara's Dad could look after her at her flat,for this next week?"**

**"There is no need,he's here with Daisy now,I persuaded him to stay this week,as he's an old friend I haven't seen in years" she said.**

**"I think we can manage another week,take Daisy to school from here.l have a spare key to Clara's flat so we can collect anything she needs.**

**"Do you want me to get him to ring her later?"**

**" You could,I am taking John to sign some papers this afternoon,so that might be a good time for them to talk" **

**He replied thinking about the apologizing and making up that was going on in his office now.**

**"Don't worry,Auntie,it will be all sorted out soon,I will ring you later,bye for now"**

**He disconnected the call.**

**"You heard most of that?" He said to Amy.**

**"Yes"**

**"I didn't tell her about the wedding,that's for John and Clara to-do that.**

**I wonder how their getting on?"**

**Looking over at the office door. "Amy_"**

**He said putting his arms round her."I'm going to be grey or bald by the time this is over_"**

**"I think I can see one or two now "she said running her fingers through his hair" Sat on his knee.**

**"Oi"**

**Meanwhile**

**Clara went into the office and shut the door behind her.**

**John looked up from where he was sat on the sofa.**

**"Clara" he started to say_I'm sorry_"**

**"No,John,it was my fault"she replied "I didn't mean to accuse you of not taking your pills"**

**"Come here" **

**He said with tears in his eyes as he pulled her towards him, Sat on his knee.**

**He started to sob,head on her shoulder.**

**"I'm,sorry.I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't leave me"**

**"Hey,come on,now stop it ,John"**

**Clara's hand on his face,wiping the tears away.**

**"Not going anywhere" she kissed him."Thought we were getting married?"**

**"I didn't mean to shout at you" He continued.**

**"Sometimes it feels,as though there are things missing. You don't want to marry someone who is "spaced" out all the time?"**

**"John Smith,now stop this!**

**You are going to make an honest woman of me on the 2nd of August. Right?"**

**She found a hankie in her dressing gown pocket as,she sat on his knee she whispered.**

**"Here it's clean" Jzohn smiled at that.**

**"Look get a shower,go with Rory,sign the papers,we'll talk when you get back,okay?"**

**He nodded and kissed her.**

**" I love you Clara_"**

**" I love you!" She said.**

** They went out of the office,John headed upstairs to the shower.**

**Clara went into the kitchen where Amy and Rory were sat at the table drinking coffee.**

**"Is everything alright now?"Rory asked her.**

**"Yes,"she replied."We talked some,he still has doubts,mainly about things,that are missing in his mind.**

**That's what's,upsetting him.**

**He is taking the pills,I know now.**

**Something is wrong,though,he needs that appointment,with the hospital"**

**Rory nodded,then said.**

**"I talked to Auntie they are going to look after Daisy at the hotel and take her to school from there.**

**Your Dad is staying with them,he is an "Old friend" **

**"Oh,yes" ****Clara smiled.**

**'Dave the Rave' my Dad had a past with John's Aunt,before he met my Mum.I forgot all about it with all that happened in the last for few weeks"**

**"Dave the Rave!"said Amy looking over at Rory.**

**Clara giggled and then told them the story of how when she had found her Dad a few weeks back,that when he came to visit them and met Auntie Mary at the hotel,he found she was an "old friend"**

**"He even remembered John as a three year old"she said."It was before his parents were killed.**

**You all lived In Leadworth. You don't remember do you?"**

**"Sorry,Clara,"Rory said as Amy shook her head as well."We would be the same age,it was so long ago. Dad might,you will have to come with us and see him next time we visit,see where we all grew up."**

**"I'd like that,do you think he would come to the wedding,your Dad?"Clara said.**

**"I think so,"Rory said.**

**"He thinks a lot of John.**

**Your Dad is going to ring you this afternoon,Clara,when I take him out to the solicitor,Auntie is going to explain to him,perhaps you can talk to Daisy as well?"**

**"I miss her. John does as well,but ****he**** needs me more at the moment."Clara said."its not as though she is with strangers is it?"**

**"We were thinking"Amy said "what if we had them here for Sunday dinner this weekend,before Daisy goes back to school it might buck Raggedy Man up a bit"**

**"You could tell them about the wedding,show off your ring!" Rory said.**

**"Oh Yes please" Clara said bursting into tears.**

**"S-sorry,can't help it"_**

**Wiping her eyes.**

** Rory looked on in amusement and Amy put her arms round her and frowned at Rory.**

**John came in then.**

**" Are you okay?" He said in panic.**

**"John mate" Rory said "She's just happy because we've invited Auntie,Daisy and her Dad for dinner on Sunday"**

**John's face lit up,at that.**

**" I've missed Daisy,it will be lovely to see her if only for a few hours"**

**'Yes' thought Rory 'This could help him a lot'**

**"You could give her the necklace,"Clara said hugging him and we can tell them about the wedding?"**

**"Yes,I'd like that "He said."Thank you"**

**"Right,John breakfast before we go?" Rory said to him.**

**"Just coffee,please,not really hungry,maybe later when we get back"**

**Rory hoped that he was not refusing to eat again,but let it go for now.**

**"Come on then,quick coffee then we'll go,I made the appointment for twelve.**

**Yo're sure about this,John? Still want to sign the money over to Sue's mother?"**

**" 'Its fine,don't need it .."**

**John replied as he drank the coffee and then got up.**

**"Come on then,lets get this over with!" He kissed Clara and walked to the door.**

**"See you later,Sweetheart"**

**John and Rory left,Amy went to load the breakfast dishes into the dish washer.**

**"Clara,you look shattered" Ahe said.**

**"Why don't you go and lie down for an hour? We could have some lunch when the boys get back,try and get Raggedy Man to eat something?"**

**"Think I will "Clara replied yawning.**

**"I really should help you tidy up Amy,but I'm so sleepy"**

**"There is nothing to tidy,"Amy said."Go to bed"**

**Clara didn't protest,as she went upstairs to the bedroom.**

**She had stopped being sick in the mornings,just felt queasy now and then.**

**The argument with John had really taken it out of her.**

**She lay on the bed,and was just drifting off to sleep,when her phone rang.**

**"Hello?"**

**" Its Dad. Can you talk,Clara?"**

**"John isn't here,Rory has taken him to sign some paperwork."**

**"How are things?"Is he any better?"**

**"Things are the same"**

**Clara did not tell him about the"fight" in detail,as that was between her and John.**

**"You know what as happened in the last week?"**

**"Yes,Mary's told me what as happened to him,the breakdowns he's had. Clara,don't take this the wrong way,you are sure about marrying him?**

**I like him.I like him a lot. Are ****sure ****what you are taking on?"**

**"Dad_"**

**She replied "I'm having his baby,and even if I wasn't,I love him to much to leave,he**** just need to see a Doctor at the hospital."**

**"That reminds me,Mary said to tell you a letter as come for him that might be the appointment." He said.**

**"OH,I hope it is._**

**He needs to talk to someone about His problems,there is a lot that happened he needs to find out about, so he can get his life back.**

**Is Daisy there? I really miss her!"**

**"She is in the other room,I'll get her,I will put Mary on" She heard the phone being handed over.**

**"Clara" Aunties voice."She's drawing in the other room"**

**"Auntie,I'm sorry my Dad is like he is about John,"she said tearfully.**

**"I understand,don't worry,he is coming round.I have talked to him about what happened to John,his childhood,Clara PLEASE don't give up on him!" She said.**

**"NEVER!" Clara replied.**

**"Auntie,you know we are staying another week? Would you and Dad bring Daisy on Sunday for dinner? I know John would love to see her,so would I"**

**"Yes,we'd love to,I'd like to see you both,Rory and Amy too,it's ages since I've seen them,about one okay?"**

**"Great I'll tell Amy"**

**" Who's this"_?**

**Auntie said.**

**"Mummy" said a little voice.**

**"Hello baby. I'm missing you lots" Clara said tearfully.**

**"I'm being a good girl for Grandad and Auntie,are you coming home soon,is John?"**

**"Soon,next week,but how would you like to come here for sunday dinner,meet Uncle Rory and Aunt Amy? We might have some surprises for you as you've been such such a good girl over the last few 'weeks.**

**Thats only three days away" she said.**

**"Mummy,is John poorly? l heard Auntie say.**

**He's not going to die is he_?"**

**She sounded really upset. ****Clara's heart dropped at those words.**

**"Oh he's better now, just he got tired that's why we came on this holiday. We will be home soon.**

**He is looking forward to see you on Sunday,put Auntie back on,my good girl,I'll see you soon,bye"**

**"Bye,Mummy"**

**"Clara,it's okay,your Dad has taken her into the other room.I heard what she said.I'm sorry,she must have overheard us talking and put two and two together"**

**"That's alright Auntie,you are worried about John and "little pitchers"I managed to field it"**

**'I think' Thinking.**

**Told her we're on holiday as he's tired.**

**I will explain to John.I will see you Sunday bye"**

**Clara hung up quickly, then burst into tears,cried herself to sleep.**

**Thursday 3pm**

**Clara woke to a light kisses on her lips.**

**Putting her arms round John's neck,she kissed him back.**

**"Hello you,"she said, "Did you sort everything out?"**

**"Hmmm,I signed Sue's life insurance over too Gloria.**

**Rory will find out next week where she is so it can be put in her bank account"**

**He noticed her eyes were swollen.**

**"Clara,have you been crying?"He touched her cheek.**

**Clara,looked away,bit her lip.**

**"Why sweetheart?"**

**John put his hand under her chin.**

**She wasn't going to lie to him. "I spoke to Daisy on the phone earlier,to invite them for dinner on Sunday"**

**"And?"**

**He prompted knowing she was missing her as he was,but there was more too it than that.**

**"Clara,please tell me!"**

**"Taking a breath,she said.**

**"She overheard Auntie tell my Dad you've been not been well.**

**Thought you_you were dying"**

**Clara was tearing up again.**

**"I managed to explain to her you were just tired needed this hoilday,would be back home next week"**

**"OH ..I see."**

**Closed his eyes."Right.I've got to get over this now, can't keep lying to her!"**

**"John"**

**She said touching his face.**

**"You will,by the way think your appointment letter as come at Aunties,she is bringing it on Sunday"**

**"Good,perhaps this is the way forward now,to getting better?"**

**There was a knock on the door.**

**"Come in" Clara said.**

**Rory put his head round the door.**

**"Lunch is ready._**

**You were supposed to come and get Clara,not get into bed with her"**

**Noticing he was on the bed,arms round her.**

**"Come on John you've not eaten anything today,and don't give me that face! You want to get better,eating is part it. Ten minutes"**

**John pulled his tongue out at him,as he shut the door.**

**"He's right John,you should try to eat something,you can't just manage on coffee and toast,come on,I'm starving.I didn't get any breakfast either" she said**

**"Let's go and tell them that Daisy is coming on Sunday,we still on for that shopping trip for presents for her?" John replied.**

**She kissed him as she got off the bed. With his help.**

**"Only if you eat all your lunch like a good boy!" She teased.**

**"Oi"**

**A/N**

**Next chapter up soon.**

**Know they were going home,**

**But John needs this time.**

**Dinner with Daisy and a trip to the**

**Hospital.**

**THANKS FOR READING.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 38**

**When John and Clara went downstairs,Amy had lunch on the table.**

**"About time,Raggedy Man,it's ready.**

**Sit down you two.**

**There's chicken,ham,salad." She said.**

**John started to say. Has he sat.**

**"I'm not really hungry"_**

**Rory with..a look to the girls.**

**"John,you need to eat!"**

**Shaking his head.**

**"This can't go on,y****ou'll end up anorexic in ****hospital****!"**

**"Rory,please!"**

**Clara said putting her hand on his,arm,then to John.**

**" If you won't for yourself or even me,**

**do it for Daisy and the baby, please"_**

**She pleaded to him.**

**John looked between Clara,Rory, at the food on the table.**

**"I can't.! I'm sorry! I just can't!"He stood up quickly...**

**...and bolted for the downstairs cloakroom.**

**Amy looked at the other two.**

**"What's going on with him now?"**

**" Some sort of a panic attack"**

**Rory replied.**

**"His mind must be telling him not to eat"**

**"But the restaurant yesterday"**

**Said,Amy,"We couldn't stop him! He would have made his way through the whole menu,if we had let him!"**

**"That could have been the start of it "**

**Rory hearing the door slam...**

**"Or it could have been the relief of it all being over with Sue,it's hard to know"**

**"I think it's my fault now"**

**Clara said.**

**"I spoke to Daisy earlier,and thought that he was dying because she overheard Auntie talking to my Dad that he had been sick"**

** Looking between them,tearful.**

**"I had to tell him because he knew something was up. I'd got upset, had been crying! I couldn't lie! He did say he would have to try,beat this now,for her sake"**

**Amy put an arm round Clara.**

**"Oh Sweetheart,It will be okay"**

**The look she gave Rory,was as though to say "Do Something!"**

**"I had to tell Daisy he was just tired, needed a holiday.I couldn't tell her John is having breakdowns! She continued.**

**"How do I tell a seven year old that!?"**

**"Well its something else to sort out"**

**Sighing Rory said.**

** "We will just have to try, persuaded him to can't force him though.I better go and see if he's alright."**

**He went to the door of the cloakroom,knocking on it.**

**"John,are you okay?"**

**"Not coming out" **

**Said a petulant voice from the other side of the door.**

**"Leave me alone! Rory _"**

**Looking back**

**He tried..**

**"John,look you don't have to eat anything,I won't make you.**

**Please come out and tell us why you won't?**

**"No! Go away,Rory!"**

**John replied.**

**"Now John,whenever have you known me to do that? Go away and leave you alone? "NEVER!"..I will just sit here on the floor until you come out"**

**He sat down against the door.**

**"Rory! What?" Clara started to say.**

**Rory put his finger to his lip.**

**Shook his head.**

**"Clara,let him handle it" Amy said softly.**

**"Still here John" He said**

** "Not moving" He had his back and head against the door.**

**"Going to have a bloody long wait then_**

**Don't care,not coming out if your going to make me eat.I'm not hungry!"**

**John went quiet then.**

**"R-Rory,I'm sorry!"**

**He was,starting to sob.**

**"M-ust be fed up with m-me all of you"**

**Rory's heart broke when he heard turned round,knelt near to the key hole.**

**"John,please mate,open the door,for me?**

**We'll talk,that's all.I won't make you do anything you don't want to okay? I promise!"**

**Rory heard the bolt.**

**John didn't open the door,so he got up to open it himself.**

**John was sat on the floor near the sink,he had his knees up to his chest.**

**He looked so miserable.**

**Rory knew he hated arguments,and fights with him as much as he did.**

**Johns eyes were were red from crying.**

**Rory knelt down in front of him. **

**Touched his face said gently to him.**

**"John,mate. Come on,let's go somewhere more comfortable,we can talk?"**

**John let Rory pull him to his feet,****to take him into the lounge.**

**"Coffee?"**

**Amy said quietly as Rory sat him down on the sofa.**

**"Yes" He said.**

** John seemed out of it.**

**Rory seemed worried until Clara sat down next to John,took his,hand in hers.**

**"John?"**

**She said,touching his face,**

**"Sweetheart, talk to me. Please!"**

** He turned his head towards her.**

**"C-Clara,I'm s -orry...must be f-fed up with me?"**

**Rory gave a sigh of relief,he seemed back with them.**

**"No,John never that. Though we are worried why you won't eat"**

**"Easier not to.I'm in control. No one telling me what to eat won't be sick,throw it b-back u-up". he said.**

**"Is that what your worried about ,John throwing up? Is it the mess your worried about? Rory asked gently.**

**John nodded.**

**"I hate it!"**

**Pausing,**

**"D-Don't like it,everyone looking a-after me,I,-want to be me again,looking after my family"**

**He looked at Rory then.**

**"N-not that I'm not grateful, for all you've done. You,Amy should be getting on with your lives,not running round after me. Daisy thought I was dying,and that's-wrong.I'm going to be a Dad soon too her and the baby,"**

**He looked at them then.**

**"What kind of Dad will I be if I can't look after myself?"**

**"John"**

**Rory said,**

**"You will get there,but not like this! Not eating is not the way to go, you will only get sicker.**

**Then you won't be here to look after anyone!"**

**Turning John towards him.**

**"I am not going to force you to eat,that's up to you,but you told me the other day,when you threatened to take the pills you didn't want to die.**

**Do you now!?"**

**"NO"! He said Sharply.**

**"Well then"**

** Rory continued.**

** "This is just another way of doing it.**

**Do you want Daisy to see you like this,Clara?"**

**"No!" He looked at Clara.**

**"I love her..."**

**"Then prove it"**

**Rory said to him softly,he had seen Amy put a coffee and a slice of toast down on the table in front of him.**

**Rory held his breath.****John picked up the coffee first sipped it,then,the toast, bit a piece from it,chewed it then swallowed. Then he ate the full slice!**

**Rory let go of the breath he was holding,**

**"See"**

**He said.**

**"You can do it,John,you can eat if you want.**

**We can not tell you to eat,have to try and do that yourself"**

**"Yes" John said "Thanks Rory,can I go and lie down for a while? Feeling a little tired now"**

**"John,do that if that's what you want.**

**Don't need to ask,anyway we are going to finish our lunch,see you later okay?"**

**"Fine",John said as he got up and went upstairs.**

**Clara went to follow him,Rory put a hand on her arm.**

**"Let him be for awhile,he needs to think,besides you need to eat and so do we"**

**Amy put the food back out on the table,as they helped themselves,he said,**

**"Put some aside for John for later"**

**Clara looked at him.**

**"Do you think he will eat now?"**

**Rory said.**

**"Not sure, as I said..we can't force him.**

**Think about it,in the last few weeks,we have taken his choices away from him...I know at times we've had too.**

**"We have been saying to him.**

**"Get up,eat,sleep,do this,do that!**

**John needs,to get things back to they were.**

**His life back.**

**John should still talk to the Doctor.I think there is something from his childhood,hidden needs to find out what that is!"**

**"I think the letter has come,"Clara said.**

**"Auntie told me,she will bring it on Sunday when they come for dinner"**

**"Oh good their coming"**

**Amy said "Perhaps that will cheer him up?"**

**"Daisy is really looking forward to it,so is John"Clara said.**

**"Rory,I'm sorry I had to tell him about what she said,I can't keep secrets from him"**

**"Nor should you Clara,don't blame yourself over this,it's something in is mind that makes him not want to eat,it won't be what you told him about Daisy,though the part about him dying must have upset him, I think he would have found out even if you hadn't told him.**

**"I will have to try not to nag him to much"**

** Rory said.**

**"Anyway,I think the talk we had today will help"**

**When they had finished their meal,Clara made a tea,for herself and a coffee for John.**

**"I'll just go and see if he's alright" **

**looking at Rory.**

**" I won't nag him either"**

**He smiled back. **

**"He will be.**

**See you later?"**

**Clara went into the bedroom, putting the cups on the table by the bed.**

**John had his back to her curled round the pillow,she thought he was asleep,so turned round to go back downstairs.**

**"I'm not asleep Clara"**

**He said sitting up.**

**"Is that coffee?"**

**She nodded,handed him the cup he sipped it.**

**"I've been stupid haven't I? Over not eating"**

**Clara sat on the bed next too him.**

**"Do you want to tell me why,sweetheart?"**

**she said."You don't have to"**

**Touching his face.**

**"No"**

**He said.**

**"I want to"_**

**He paused.**

**"It seems silly now,I just woke up feeling like that.**

**At first I thought It was because I'd been such a greedy guts at the restaurant the day before,as the day went on,I kept hearing this voice in my head saying.**

** "Don't eat don't need to,your in control"**

**Clara said.**

**"Suppose we didn't help nagging you? Me making a joke of it about not going shopping unless you ate all your lunch."**

**"Clara"**

**Holding her hand.**

**"I do want my life back.**

**Rory is right,not eating is not the way to go about it.I want it not just for Daisy and the baby"**

**He put the cup down on the table,kissed her.**

**"For you and me as well"**

**Clara got onto the bed with him and snuggled up to him.**

**"I'm sure you can do that now"**

**She said.**

**"If you talk to the Doctor.****Do you still feel like things are missing?"**

**"Hmmm! It's like a blank in the back of my mind,pieces are missing that should be there,I know I was only three. I should remember something.**

**All I seem to see is the tantrum I had with my parent's over the "baby"everything before that seems missing.I can't even remember Rory and Amy. ****I know we use to play together"**

**"John," Clara said.**

**"You talked about your parents and the accident without getting upset,maybe you are getting better? Talking does help, perhaps the Doctor will help you remember as well?"**

**"Yes,I think it will"**

**He said smiling,holding her too him.**

**Sunday AM**

**John was awake,Clara was still sleeping,to be fair,it was only 7am. She needed her sleep,especially with all he had put her through in the last few weeks,not to mention Rory and Amy,they were all looking tired which made him feel guilty at times.**

**Since he had got upset on Thursday,over food of all things,he had managed to eat something mainly toast,cereal and the odd sandwich.**

**There was still a,nagging doubt in his mind about not eating,which he was trying to ignore.**

**Talking of nagging Clara and Rory had not said anything about it. Amy looked at him and shook her head when she,thought he wasn't looking...he hated that because he didn't want his "Pond " to be disappointed in him.**

**Daisy was coming later,he was really looking forward to seeing her.**

**It seemed an age since he had seen them all though it was just over two weeks.**

**He decided to get up as sleep was beyond him.**

**Putting on his dressing gown he went downstairs.**

**Amy was sat at the kitchen table,drinking coffee.**

**"Morning Pond" he said."Didn't think you'd be up yet being Sunday"**

**"Well since the leg of lamb won't jump Into the oven and cook its self,thought I'd better get a shift on.**

**There's coffee made if you want one? I could make you some toast if you like?"She said.**

**John pulled a face and said"Not just yet,thanks Pond,it's a little early"**

**Amy sighed "How long are you going to keep this up Raggedy Man?"**

**"What"John replied.**

**"You know what...this not eating"**

**"But I am!"**

**"Cereal and toast is not proper food,you can't live on that for good.!"**

**Rory came in then,yawning..."Morning..."**

**"Rory tell him.."She said.**

**"Tell him what"He replied."Are you two fighting again!? its not half past seven yet?"**

**"Its not "bloody funny!"**

**Amy with her hands on her hips glaring at them...**

**"You and Clara might be letting him get away with this...enough is enough...!"**

**John had never seen Amy so mad before.**

**"I'm sorry,Amy I don't like being like this,the voice in my head telling me not to eat...I really am trying"**

**He sounded so lost and upset that Amy's temper cooled down some put her arms round him..**

**"I'm sorry,John,I don't mean to shout at you,just worried about you that's all.**

**Tell you what,I will make a deal with you,if you don't want anything now,how about Sunday dinner later,small portions okay?"**

**"I will try,"he said."Think I will take this upstairs and see if Clara's awake"he picked up his coffee cup."See you later."**

**Rory put his arms round his wife,**

**" I won't let him starve himself you know,I was thinking if that letter is for the hospital,I might go with him to the appointment,but I will have to discuss it with John and Clara first."**

**Amy sighed putting her head on his shoulder "It's just he's looking so ill ! Rory,I don't know what Auntie is going to think,though I'm more concerned about Daisy at the moment"**

**"Perhaps he will eat the small portions you suggested if he sees her eating?" Rory said.**

**"Maybe,"Amy said "There won't be portions for anyone if I don't get on with it"she kissed him.**

**"Do you need a hand?" **

**Rory continued.**

**She handed him the vegetable peeler.**

**"Potatoes please" she said.**

**Rory groaned. **

**John was sat on his side of the bed drinking his coffee Clara was still sleeping,he didn't mind,as it gave him time to think.**

**The voice in his head was saying to him.**

**"You got out of breakfast,think of an excuse,don't need to eat dinner either!"**

**"I want to!" he said.**

**"Wwhat!"said Clara waking up suddenly.**

**"Sorry,did I wake you sweetheart,thinking out loud"**

** he replied."**

**"What time is it?"she said yawning.**

**" Gone eight" John said.**

**"Suppose I should go and get ready,I'm really comfy here" **

**she said snuggling up to him as he put his arm round her.**

**"I think we can spare half an hour,besides think I heard Rory go into the bathroom. Clara," **

**he continued.**

** "If that is the letter from the hospital,I'm thinking of asking him to come with me,unless you want too?"**

**"No,that's a very good idea John",she replied "he is your best friend, known you a long time.**

**He can tell the Doctor how you were then and now? You can talk to me when you get back"**

**"Good,I will talk to Rory later"**

**He smiled at her.**

**Rory knocked on the door.**

**"Bathrooms free,if anyone wants it."**

**"Thanks!"John shouted back.**

**"Do you want to go first,or shall I?"**

**"You can" she replied.**

**"I want to sort the things out we bought for Daisy"**

**They had spent the day before shopping for presents in the West End.**

**Mostly it was,Clothes,underwear and socks things she would need for school. He had left that to Clara,as she seemed to know what a,seven year old girl needed,though he would have to get use to it especially if the baby were a girl! **

**They had also bought her more art supplies,John thought she would have used up most of what they bought her the other week. He was really looking forward to giving her the necklace he had got when he gave Clara her ring!**

**"Right, I'll go first then,won't be long"**

**Clara made the bed,and then put everything for Daisy on it,she had made sure that over the last seven years, that she had not gone short of anything,it was nice now not to think about the cost.**

**John had insisted on paying for everything,suppose she would have to get use to that,especially if they were going to be a also if he was,going to treat Daisy as his own daughter.**

**This what he wanted,though it was going to be a hard habit to break. concerning Daisy,not herself,she found she liked being looked after by John. **

**He came back then,****she said to him,**

**"Daisy is going to love everything we've got for you."**

**"Clara"**

**He put his arms round her.**

**"You don't have to keep thanking me,I love her,and though you don't want to play favourites,let me have this for now,okay?"**

**She kissed him back,thinking how much this was helping him.**

**"Do you know how much I love you John Smith?"**

**"Well,you could prove it" **

**he said,running his fingers through her brown tresses.**

** "We could go back to bed!"**

**"Oh"she said.**

**"I've just made it, we've got all this"**

**i****ndicating all the bags.**

**"I****f we do now might be still there when Daisy comes"**

**She kissed him.**

** "Later okay!"**

**"Is that a promise?"**

**He whispered in her ear,when she nodded at him,**

**"then you'd better go get your shower before I throw everything off the bed and you on it!"**

**Giving him a final kiss,she went off to the bathroom.**

**Sunday Nearly time ...**

**They had gone downstairs. Amy was still busy in the kitchen.**

**John thought he had upset her earlier, had decided to give her a hand. She had bumped into him,fallen over him for what seemed the tenth time,she grabbed hold of Rory saying.**

**"Take him in the garden,for a walk,anything. Get him from under my feet,PLEASE"**

**When John's face fell at that,she kissed him on the cheek saying,**

**"Raggedy man,I love you dearly,but you are driving ME"NUTS" Go with Rory."**

**She pushed him towards him "Please"..**

**"John lets go sit in the garden,it's lovely out there"**

**Rory said.**

**"Besides,I need to talk to you and Clara"**

**Opening the patio doors,John and Clara followed him outside.**

**There were garden chairs and a table set out.**

**Rory put up the large umbrella in the middle of it.**

**"I was,only trying to help!"**

**John was,sulking.**

**"I know,mate"**

**Rory replied,**

**"Amy...she has her own way of doing things. John",**

**he said changing the subject.**

**"I was wondering,the appointment for the Doctor would you would like me to come with you? Unless you want to Clara?"**

**John looked at Clara,**

**"Yes please,! Rory I was going to ask you anyway,to tell you the truth,I'm absolutely terrified"**

**"Of what,"Rory replied. **

**"Finding out about what happened to me before my parents died,something did but do I want to know?" he said.**

**"John," he said.**

**"This thing that you don't remember could be the reason you're having the breakdowns,if it was me,I would want to know.**

**We can't force you to go,if you decide not to,what's to say,you will have to go through all this again,in 3 weeks,months or years"**

**He leaned over, touched his hand.**

**"Would that be fair on Clara,Daisy,your own child? I would take that chance to find out if there was hope of getting well!"**

**John looked between Clara and Rory.**

**"Put like that,"**

**he said.**

**"I think I would like to find out,so thanks Rory yes I want you to come with me"**

**Rory said,"Your sure about this,you don't want Clara to go with you?"**

**"Rory",she replied.**

**"I've discussed this with John,we both feel that it would be best if you went with him. I love him,but have only known him a few weeks,where you have known him since you were children"**

**She squeezed John's hand as he smiled at her.**

**Suddenly there was a sound of running feet as a little figure came out through the patio doors.**

**Daisy had arrived! She headed straight for John. His face brightened, as soon as he realised what was happening.**

**"Daisy,sweetheart,oh how I've missed you!"**

**He said cuddling her too him.**

**"Don't you want to say hello to Mummy as well?"**

**"Hello,sweetie,"**

**Clara said. "Do I get one of those too?"**

**Pleased for the hello she was giving to John,for she knew he had missed her so much.**

**Putting her arms out for a hug.**

**"I think she's grown since we last saw her,do you think so John?"**

**"Well,she's certainly heavier than when she last sat on my knee"**

**John pretended to stager under Daisy's weight!**

**"Someone as been eating to many Jammy Dodgers!"**

**He tickled her stomach.**

**" Have not!" Daisy was giggling at them.**

** "Grandad hides them"**

**Rory grinned at the little family reunion, John was going to make a great Dad! Standing he went inside the house. Auntie and a grey haired man were stood talking to Amy. Auntie looked over at him.**

**"Rory" she said coming up to him and hugging him.**

**"Dave,this is Amy's husband.**

**Rory this is Dave,Clara's Dad"**

**The two men shook hands,with each other.**

**"I can see the likeness"**

**Rory said. "To Clara and Daisy"**

**"Really?"**

** Dave looked pleased to hear that.**

**"Very excitable isn't she? It's,been John will say this,will do that all the way here,hasn't it Mary?"**

**She nodded.**

**"She has missed them both."**

**"John has missed her too"Rory replied.**

**Auntie looked at Rory,**

**"How is,he?"**

**she looked worriedly at him,**

**"Has he eaten anything today?"**

**She knew,about John's phobia with food. Rory had been keeping her up to date.**

**Rory and Amy looked to each other,**

**"No"**

**"It's not for the want of trying"**

**Rory said.**

**"We were hoping he might eat some dinner later" Amy said.**

** "Seeing Daisy might help."**

**"Auntie,"**

**Rory continued.**

**"Could I have a talk with you about the letter and his appointment,for the hospital later?"**

**She nodded. **

**Clara came through the door then holding Daisy by the hand.**

**"Madam here needs the bathroom,I will take her,then we can meet Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy"**

**she smiled.**

**"Hello Dad,I will see you in a minute.." **

**Seeing Auntie she kissed her.**

**"He's in the garden,if you want to talk to him." she said sofely.**

**Auntie touched Clara's cheek. Looked at Rory and Amy.**

**"Thank you"**

**she said.**

**"For looking after him,the three of you!"**

**She had tears in her eyes.**

**Clara headed to the downstairs cloakroom with Daisy,as Auntie headed outside to see John.**

**John was sat on one of the garden chairs with his back to her,his shoulders slumped.**

**Head in his hands.**

**"Hello John" She said.**

**He looked up suddenly,**

**"Auntie,I-I..."**

**Then burst into tears.**

**"Oh,John "**

**she said Pulling up the chair next to him.**

**"Come here,sweetheart,"**

**Auntie put her arms round him forgetting he was a grown man.**

**He had not cried like this since he was 3. Well before his parents died she use to look after him.**

**Chasing the nightmares away.**

**If only she could do that for him now!**

**"Hush,now come on its going to be okay"**

**She whispered as,she rocked him.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry,"**

**John kept saying over and over.**

**"For being so much trouble to everyone,Rory,Amy,even Clara,they've had to put up with so much,from me"**

**"John don't even think that...you're no trouble"**

** She kissed his head.**

**"Everyone loves you..Will do anything for you as you would for them."**

**He was starting to calm down,he wiped his eyes,**

**"Where's Daisy?,I don't want her too see me like this" he said,looking round.**

**"I think Clara took her too the bathroom,"**

**Auntie said."I think she might be back in the lounge now"**

**"I'm surprised that she's not come back out here" John replied.**

**"I think they might be keeping her inside while we have a talk, John"**

**Auntie said.**

**"Are you cross with me?"**

**He said in a small voice.**

**Auntie sighed.**

**"No John,I'm not cross with you"**

**Bringing his face up to her.**

**"Look at,me,dear...****why won't you eat?**

**I want to understand?**

** Rory say all you will eat is cereal and toast?"**

**"Yes,I won't be sick if I don't eat too much"**

**"The voice keeps saying, Not too"**

**'Voice'Auntie thought.'what voice' she didn't say anything to John,she would definitely be having that conversation with Rory before they went home.**

**"John,you need to eat,or throwing up will be the least of your problems. PLEASE" She pleaded with him.**

**"Rory said you also don't remember somethings from before your parents died?"**

**"Its alright"**

**John said smiling at her, touched her hand.**

**"I can talk about it,the hurts still there,not as bad as it was,thanks to Clara."**

**He took a breath,then.**

**"I'm going to go with Rory talk to the Doctor whenever the appointment is,I am going to find out why I'm like this.**

**I need to get better for Clara,Daisy, the baby"**

**He looked at Auntie "**

**"l will eat some dinner,I promised Amy!"**

**"Good,"Auntie said.**

**"I will give you the letter later,it's in my bag in the lounge"**

**She kissed him on the head.**

**"Shall we go in now,they will wonder where we have got to?" **

**When they went back inside,Daisy was sat on the sofa between Clara and Amy they had a copy of "Summer Falls"open and Amy was reading parts of it to her.**

**She jumped up,running over to John.**

**"John,look,it's mine,my own copy,Auntie Amy has,signed it for me"**

**"That's,lovely Daisy, signed by the author,thank you Pond"**

**Looking over at Amy,and then back to Daisy.**

**"Do you want to come for a walk? There's a park down the street" **

**He said.**

**"Like the one near the hotel?" Daisy asked.**

**"Better!" John said with his arms round her.**

**"Can Uncle Rory come as well?"**

**She asked.**

**"Of course,come on,Uncle Rory"**

**John said. "Race You.!"**

**"Oi,not fair! you were both near the door."**

** Rory said as he ran after them.**

**"Lunch In an hour!"**

**Amy shouted after them.**

**"Don't know who is the biggest kid,John or Rory"**

**Clara giggled.**

**"Thats why we love them. Do you need any help Amy?"**

**"No it's all done,even with "Raggedy mans help! You rest you've not sat still all day,I'll make some drinks"**

**"Mary has explained about the nickname you gave John,but "Pond?"Dave asked her.**

**"My maiden name was Amelia Pond, it has sort of stuck,especially with John" **

**Smiling as she remembered a three year old,John saying,**

**"Come along, Pond,play..."**

** "I wouldn't have it any other way" she said getting up to put the kettle on.**

**A/N**

**Next chapter soon,hope you are,still reading and enjoying.**

**John will be going to see the Doctor soon,but first they have to tell them all about getting engaged.**

**Also Auntie will want to speak to Rory about John's problems.**

**Please,read and review.**

**THANKS. **


	39. Chapter 39

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 39**

**John walked with Rory to the park they were holding Daisy by the hand in the middle of them.**

**John was looking a lot happier."Yes" Rory thought they had done the right thing bringing Daisy down to see him. They just had to get ****him**** to see the Doctor...get him to talk. Maybe that would lead to him eating properly again.**

**As it was Sunday,there were not many people in the park.**

**Rory sat on the bench watching as John pushed Daisy on one of the swings and she was giggling at something he was saying to her.**

**John walked over to him saying over his shoulder as he came..."Use your feet like I showed you..."he sat down next too Rory.**

**"****Phew****,kids,are hard work!"**

**"Oh,Really!"said Rory remembering "Johnnie"**

**John smiled,"I wouldn't have it any other way and if the one that's on the way is like her I will be very grateful and happy"**

**"You could be in luck"Rory said"this one might take after Clara as well ...think that ****one**** "John Smith" is enough!" **

**"Oi!"**

**"Just meant you are the one and only!"Rory said laughing,holding his hands up in surrender..**

**Daisy had got off the swing,and gone over too the roundabout. There were two children about her age already on it.**

**The little boy slowed it down so she could get on.**

**"Hello",he said "What's your name? I'm Tom"**

**"Daisy" she said shyly.**

**"Is that your Daddy over there "he asked looking over to the bench where John was,talking to Rory.**

**"Yes," she said "the man with dark hair,the other is my Uncle Rory"**

**"Do you live near here,?"he continued.**

**"No,we've come to see my Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy,my Mummy is at their house now,we are going to have dinner.**

**Do you live here?"Daisy asked.**

**"Over there " he pointed to one of the houses just behind the park."with my Dad and brother Sam...My Dad is at work,not sure where Sam is.."**

**Suddenly a teenage boy ran over to the roundabout stopping it so quickly that Daisy fell off with a slight scream.**

**"What are you doing here "little shit"he said hitting him over the head."What have l told you about wandering off!?"**

**John looked up from his conversation with Rory,**

**"Daisy!" He quickly ran across to pick her up."Are you hurt sweetheart?"putting his hand on her face.**

**"N-no, but John he's hitting T-Tom"she was starting to cry...The little boy was yelling...**

**"Ow..ow..!.Sam,your hurting me!"**

**John handed Daisy over to Rory who put his arms round her to comfort her. Turning furiously to the bigger boy who was hitting the smaller one grabbed his hand.**

**"STOP THAT!"**

**"What the ****fuck**** as it got to do with you?"he said"he's my brother and I'll do what I ****bloody **** well like,hes always wandering off."He pulled his,hand away from John.**

**"There,no need to hit him" John said " and my daughter doesn't want to hear words like that!"**

**"You were told to stay in the house,"Sam said to Tom,"Dad told you to do what I told you and that's to stay put,while I'm out with my mates.**

**"Just a minute, Sam is it?"John said"How old are you?"**

**"Fifteen...if it's any of your business"**

**"Which it is if this is your little brother and you are supposed to be looking after him You're breaking the law by leaving him"Home alone"while you are out with your "mates"as you put it."John continued"So is your Father if it comes to it! He could be in a lot of trouble,right Rory?"**

**"Oh,yes definitely"Rory said.**

**"So how about Tom comes back with us for his dinner,and you can get your Dad to come and pick him up later?"John said.**

**"Dads at work until seven"Tom sniffed rubbing his head where Sam had hit him.**

**"Fine!"John said "OR I could go home with Tom and wait,explain to your Dad why a complete stranger is sat in his house looking after his son,while his brother is out with his "mates"...your choice."looking at Sam.**

**"Oh do what the...you like" said Sam,he was going to swear until he saw the look in John's eyes.**

**"Here",Rory said taking one of his business cards out of his wallet,"This is my address"he wrote on the back of it.."so your Dad can pick him up later"**

**Snatching the card from Rory's hand Sam said,**

**" You behave yourself..." and the ran off towards where two boys,were waiting for him at the other side of the playground.**

**"Did you get rid of him..."John heard one of them say to Sam.**

**"Yeah...he's someone else's problem..come on!"**

**"Thanks mister" said Tom"he's always hitting me.I can go home now...Dad left us some bread and beans,I can have them."**

**John looked at the boy with the dirty tear stained face in front of him.**

**"How old are,you,Tom?"**

**"Eight,I'm Eight!"**

**...and he lets you use the cooker?" John went on.**

**"No,I'll have them cold"**

**John shuddered," Well I'm responsible for you,at lest until Seven tonight."**

**Rory sighed,"Don't know how I'm going to explain this to Amy."as if on cue his mobile rang.**

**"Oops! talking of which..."Hello... Yes, Amy I know you said an hour and its been nearly two..we have got a small problem.**

**No it's not John !...not really"looking at him."I'll explain if you will let me get a word in edgeways... Yes,sorry "he walked over to the other side near the swings..**

**"Is Uncle Rory in trouble with Auntie Amy?" Daisy asked John.**

**"He might be,or even I might" he said.**

**"Right"said Rory coming back, putting his phone back in his pocket.**

**"We've got to head back,I've explained to Amy what's happened,she said to tell you John...only you can go for a walk and pick-up a waife and stray!"**

**"Sorry Rory, I can't stand bullies!"**

**"It's,okay,John,he patted him on the shoulder." I would have done the same.**

**Come on Daisy lets go...you show Tom the way..."**

**They were back within ten minutes,Amy opened the door to them.**

**"About time,I was about to send out a search party."She said."What have you been up to Raggedy Man?"**

**"ME.."John said "Why is it always my fault!?"**

**"Because it usually is,"She said with her arms folded."Though this time you did the right thing..." looking at Tom."Daisy do you want to take Tom to wash his hands and face before lunch? Yours look like they need doing too!"**

**"I fell off the roundabout,Auntie Amy..."**

**"You did!"Amy said looking at John,"she didn't hurt herself?"**

**"No,I think she was,more frightened than hurt"he replied.**

**They were all back in the lounge by this time,****apart**** from Daisy and Tom who had gone to wash in the downstairs cloakoom like Amy had asked****.****Clara who was sat with her feet up on the sofa said,**

**"What have you been doing John? Is Daisy alright?"**

**"I do look after her you know," he replied."she's FINE...!"**

**"John"Rory said softely "Clara only asked,don't get agitated okay?"**

**"Sorry" he closed his eyes,opening them again smiled at her...How are you sweetheart,glad to see you're getting some rest." He kissed her as he sat down next to her.**

**Clara sat up,yawning...looking over at Auntie and Rory,knowing she wanted to talk to him about John.**

**"Think l could do with stretching my legs though,I'll just have a quick walk in the garden till dinners ready...want to come with me John,?"she whispered in his ear..."We can have a quick snog while we're on our own... !?"**

**"Clara you're a little minx,can't you wait until later!?"John said.**

**"No..."I fancy snogging the pants off you...right now"Clara whispered again pulling his face down to kiss him. "Come on you..."getting up and ****moving**** quickly to the door,John sighed,**

**"Clara wait...slow,down...!"Honestly she was getting worse...he just hoped she would not drag him behind the garden shed or something...!**

**As they went out the door leaving Auntie with Dave,she said to him.**

**"Dave,could you go and see if the children are alright...?"she looked at Rory."Rory,I need a word with you about John." Dave came over and kissed her,as he did she touched him on the cheek saying.**

**"I'm not trying to keep secrets,from you,I just don't want Daisy coming in,while we talk okay?"**

**Dave nodded at her as he went out the door.**

**"I'll keep them out the way for half an hour" he said. Rory said,looking at what had passed between them...**

**"Maybe we can expect a double wedding Auntie?"**

**"Don't be cheeky young man... besides I think John is,confused enough at the moment,without me becoming his mother in law as well as his Aunt...!"the voice in his head?" She said to him.**

**..."You mean the voice in his head telling him not to eat?" he replied " He told you ? "**

**"Yes,he got ****very**** upset when we arrived earlier,he thinks that he's put you ****all**** to a lot of trouble."Auntie said.**

**"It has been hard going at times" Rory admitted looking at Amy who was also still in the room, "but I would do it again"**

**"So would I !"Amy said.**

**"Auntie,I think I should open the letter for John's appointment,"Rory said."We need to know when it is,he wants me to go with him."**

**"Yes,he did mention it"Auntie continued to say"Something is very wrong Rory...this phobia with food for a start,he was never a big eater,but refusing to eat because a voice in his head says not to and he might throw up!"**

**"He is eating something though,"Rory said.**

**"Rory...I keep saying...cereal and toast is not enough food,he's not getting the right nutrition and is going to get very ill eventually!"Amy said.**

**"I know,I know! He pulled his hand through his hair...looking at Amy "I can hardly tie him down and force feed him..can I? though it may come to that if he has to go to hospital!" He was,starting to get upset!**

**"Auntie,we've tried threatening,pleading with him,"nagging,"not "nagging",I don't know what else to do! Maybe this Doctor can succeed where I've failed?"**

**"Oh no,Rory,don't even think you have that! You have not failed him!"Auntie said"you know how,stubborn John can be?"**

**"Yes,"Amy said putting her arms round him."He wouldn't have got this far without you.**

**Look how you stopped him with the overdose...talked him round when he locked himself in the bathroom."**

**"Auntie looked up,"What,when was this?!"**

**"Yesterday,"Rory said"We were trying to persuade him to eat...and he ****panicked****! It was my fault for nagging!"**

**"Rory...STOP IT! ****Y****ou did ****not**** nag him..."Amy said.**

**"****Please**** you two,don't fall out"Auntie said "****We**** have got to stick together over this...sort John out"**

**"Sorry,Auntie...I'm just tired" Rory ****said pausing as he rubbed his eyes****"Have you ever know John have moments,when he seems,I don't know, not with us?"**

**"Not really",she said, "then since he married Sue,I hardly saw him,don't you think a lot of this what has happened to him is the shock of her death?"**

**"It could be the shock of that and everything that we found out about her and what followed I suppose"Rory said.**

**Auntie walked over too the window where she saw John sat with Clara on the garden seat.**

**She had her head ****on his,shoulder,his arm was ****wrapped ****round**** her.**

**"I wonder if it could also be?"... she said turning back to Rory and Amy.**

**"What,"said "Rory looking at her."Is there something your not telling us Auntie?"**

**she turned to them. ****"****I don't want you to let John know this. I have never said anything about it to him.**

**When he was 3,the year before his parents were killed,"she paused for breath,they were going to split up and get a divorce."**

**"Did John ever know"? Rory said.**

**"No. My sister had an affair,my brother-in-law wouldn't forgive her"she continued "not at first,it took nearly a year.**

**They had just sorted out their differences,when my sister found out she was pregnant."**

**" John always says it was,his fault they crashed in the car because they were telling him that he was going to have a brother or sister,which he didn't want! "Rory said.**

**"My brother-in-law ****was not the easiest person to live with,they had a hard time,getting pregnant with John.**

**They wanted another baby a brother or sister for him."****Auntie replied****.**

**"Getting pregnant was hard for my sister the first time, it was even harder the second.****I know, what my sister did was,wrong****,**** my brother-in-law ****blamed her for the problem.**

**Even accused her of starting the affair again, though it had been over a year,saying the baby wasn't his.**

**He was very strict with John. I thought this was too much at time,he was only 3...not more than a,baby really.**

**"Do you think Raggedy man knew something was not right?" Amy asked "I mean he knew about the baby".**

**After the car crash,I just assumed they had told him about the baby,whether he had seen anything of the rows,I was never sure." Auntie said," then other things got in the way...You both were the same age, you remember how he was?"**

**They both nodded.**

**"Perhaps he witnessed something...that he is blocking out?"Rory said" I mean look how he's been these last two weeks,Johnnie for one,the panic attacks,now this last thing about not eating...,not remembering before the crash.**

**Did he see something and block it out...?I going to open that letter!"**

**Auntie took it out of her bag and handed it too it he read it saying.**

**"It's for this ****Wednesday**** at 11am,with a Doctor Barclay. Not a problem..."**

**"What about your job,Rory,?"Auntie asked him.**

**"It'll be okay,I've taken some owed hoilday.**

**My work is all upto date at Masters I did some of it from home.**

**We need to sort this...****"**

**"Well,"said Amy,"I better go and get lunch served up before it gets ruined...it's nearly 3 now" **

**Rory ****said,standing up,**

**"I ****will give you a hand****...****"**

**Dave came back in with Daisy and Tom then.**

**By the time the six adults and two children sat down to lunch,it was near to 4. Amy put a small plate in front of John.**

**Everyone was,watching as he ate the first forkful.**

**He didn't seem to notice,which Rory thought was as well,John losing his temper or flipping out while Daisy was here did not bear thinking about.**

**"John,why don't you give Daisy her present when you've had your lunch,sweetheart?"Clara said.**

**"Right,"he replied"We can take her upstairs when we've finished"**

**"We can do that before she goes home,I was,thinking you could give her the necklace first, a present from her "Dad". She smiled at him"We ****could also tell my Dad and Auntie we've decided on a date for the wedding,if you still want that?"**

**"Course I do!"he picked her left hand up and kissed it,"you haven't had the chance to show off your ring yet have you?"**

**"No,"she looked from her hand to John's plate which was,empty...smiling over at Rory and Amy...this,was a small victory in itself as it was the first meal he had eaten without complaining he wasn't hungry or was frightened he was going to be sick!**

**Tom had eaten everything that was put in front of him,granted he did not eat like this everyday,and had two helpings and was now halfway through his third!**

**It had amused Rory and especially John whenever Amy put anything in front of him or asked if he wanted anything ... said "Yes Miss...thank you, Miss!"**

**"Well he has nice manners"she said to them.**

**"Lest he'll eat your cooking!"John said. **

**"Oi,I'll smack you in a minute Raggedy man!"Amy said.**

**"Mummy why is John being cheeky to Auntie Amy about the dinner...it's very nice." Daisy asked.**

**"Oh,he's just having a joke with her...he better not say that about my cooking..."Clara,said warningly.**

**"But mummy,you do "burn" the dinner...nearly all the time..."Daisy continued.**

**All the adults except Clara started laughing at that.**

**"Clara,"said her Dad"she is definitely a "mini"you."**

**Clara looked slightly miffed at them.**

**laughing at her lack of cooking skills at first until she saw how much better John was He was enjoying having people round him,especially Daisy.**

**"I made Apple pie,with fresh cream or trifle" Amy said "Not knowing what everyone liked,I made both."she started to clear the table with Rory's help."There is,also cheese and biscuits,which do you want Raggedy man?"she thought he,was,going to refuse at first or ask for the cheese and biscuits,until he said,**

**"Trifle,please Pond"**

**Putting two spoonfuls into a bowl she handed it to him.**

**"Thanks,"he replied starting to eat.**

**Everyone helped themselves to either the rest of the trifle or the Apple pie which was also on the table.**

**Rory was stood near the kitchen door as Amy carried the last of the plates in to put in the dishwasher. She said as he took them from her...**

**"I still can't believe my eyes...after the battle we have had with him over the last few days!"**

**"Just hope it is not a one off"he replied "After Daisy goes home he doesn't stop again...We will just have to remind him that it what she would want for him...to eat...get well".**

**Amy said,"Clara looked pleased,even when Daisy thought he was,making fun of my cooking."**

**"That's the thing she is going to have to get use to the,banter between you and John."he kissed her. " Go and sit down,I will put the coffee on and bring it 'you've not stopped since 7 this morning"**

**"Don't forget Clara's tea..." she said as she headed for the door.**

**"I know go and sit...that's,an order"he pushed her towards the lounge.**

**When Amy went back in,John and Clara were sat on the sofa with Daisy in the middle.**

**Auntie and her Dad came over and sat on the other armchairs.**

**"Daddy" Clara said to him...showing him her ring..."We're getting married on the 2nd of August..."**

**Dave looked from Clara to John,saying**

**"This is,what you both want?"**

**"Dave,"John said"I know that I still have things to work out,but as I said to you,I love Clara very much also Daisy and the baby...I will never hurt them!"**

**Dave looked at Mary...**

**"John,I believe you...and as long as you do what you have too to get there,I will be happy for you both to get married,then"**

**Rory came in then with the tray of coffee,hearing the end of the conversation as he poured out.**

**"Oh,he will...with all our help,we will make sure of that!"John smiling at that said,**

**"Daisy,mummy and me have lots,of things upstairs in our room for you to take home,new clothes for school...more art stuff as I expect you have,used up what we got you before? She nodded.**

**"****Grandads**** car is going to be full to bursting on the way home!" He took the box with the necklace in from his pocket. **

**"Now,because I'm going to be your Dad, I want you to have this"**

**Daisy took the box from John and opened seeing the silver "Daisy"said tearfully...**

**"Look mummy,it's my name,oh thank you John it's lovely,she threw her arms round his neck.**

**"I'm glad you like it sweetie,"he said.**

**Dave smiled at the scene in front of him.**

**Clara was nearly in tears as well.**

**"Don't worry,Dave" he said with his arms around both of them,"I seem to have this affect on ****all**** the Oswald women!"**

**"John" said Daisy as she pulled away from him,"will you put it on for me please?"**

**"Of course" taking the necklace from the box,he fastened it round Daisy's neck". "There"**

**"That's lovely..."Clara said noticing that she had gone quiet all of a sudden."Daisy...sweetheart?"**

**"Mummy",she said tearful"why can't you and John come home today? I miss you...she burst into tears.**

**John held her in his arms as she cried,looking helpless at Clara over Daisy's head.**

**Clara said, **

**"Daisy, we will be coming home next week it's not long" stroking her hair "We just have to stay here a while longer. John has,to sort things,out with Uncle Rory...he has to sell his,flat so he can move to the hotel to live with us. Please don't cry sweetheart"**

**Daisy sat up and wipped her eyes "Why can't I stay here with you and John then?" looking between them,"I'll be a good girl,I ****won't take up much room...I can sleep on the floor!"**

**John smiled at that. Amy came over with some tissues.**

**Daisy blew her nose.**

**"You will be coming back in two weeks,Daisy"she said."We will be going shopping for dresses for you,me and Mummy for the wedding,won't that be fun?"she put her arm round her"I'm sure we can find a bed then for her can't we "Uncle Rory?"**

**"Oh yes", he replied "if not we can always get John to sleep on the floor instead and you can have his,bed!"**

**"Oi"John said.**

**Daisy giggled at that.**

**"Tell you what Daisy" Amy continued,"why don't we take Auntie upstairs and you can show her what you want to wear for school next week?Then Mummy can see what you look like in your new clothes,okay?"**

**"Kay" she took Amy's hand.**

**"Thank you, Amy"Clara said as,she got up to follow her and Auntie upstairs.**

**Dave sensing that Rory wanted to talk to John alone said,**

**"Tom,why don't we go and have a quick game of football in the garden,before your Dad picks you up in an hour"**

**"Okay...mister...Tom said.**

**"You can call me uncle Dave if you like "they both heard as the patio doors,shut behind them. **

**John was very quiet at first, then turning to Rory said,**

**"Maybe we should go home with Daisy tonight"**

**"Why... because she got upset? In fact I half expected this."Rory replied." It's,only going to be another few days John and she is going to be in school for most of it."**

**"I know,"he pushed his hand through his hair,"but I need to get better for her Rory...I also don't like to see her cry"**

**"John,I think that Amy may talk her round,and also you have a appointment to keep on Wednesday with me and the Doctor"He said.**

**"What,you opened my letter"John replied.**

**Rory said"Auntie gave it to me,didn't think you'd mind..."**

**"I don't" John continued,"what am I going to do about Daisy?"**

**" What is there to do John?if you go home with her tonight...you are,giving in to her...right? John Smith from a couple of weeks,ago wouldn't do that!"Rory said rounding on him... "Would he!?"**

**John's head shot up.**

**"No! He wouldn't and no matter how much it hurts,Daisy goes home with Dave and Auntie tonight.**

**After all its less than a week right?"**

**"Exactly,"Rory said " we can use the next few days to sort your flat,get out what you want to keep...arrange,to sell it. Afterwards we can arrange any other appointments round work and the wedding"**

**"Other appointments!" John replied.**

**"John, this is,not going to be solved by one,appointment mate!" Rory said.**

**"I know,I know...l just hadn't thought that far ahead."**

**Then the door bell rang.**

**"What time is,it? John asked**

**Looking at his watch,Rory replied,**

**"Nearly 7, it's got to be Tom's Dad".**

**Going to answer the door,There was a man with black hair stood on the step.**

**"Rory Williams?"**

**"That's me " he said.**

**"Is my son Tom here? Do you usually kidnap young "kids!?"**

**"Now hang on just a minute" John said as,he came up behind Rory.**

**"Who said,we kidnapped him? Your son Sam? If we'd have done that, why didn't he get the police involved,why haven't you now?"**

**" Look,mate...I'm tired just done a 12 hour shift,so don't "fucking" need this!" the man said.**

**"Oi, watch your language"**

**John replied as he saw Amy coming down the stairs holding Daisy by the hand and Dave came in from the garden with Tom, his Dad said,**

**"There you are you little sod...you won't be able to wander off like this when you go into care next week"**

**"What!"Amy said as she came down into the hall, "Rory...!"**

**"Care?" Rory replied "Why"**

**" I've got a great job abroad and I'm not taking him with me,my other son can look after himself,he will be sixteen soon..."he said.**

**"Yes,we've seen how "Sam" looks after his brother" John said coldly "in fact,we will be ringing social services tomorrow about your treatment of him,won't we,Rory?"**

**"Oh,yes..."Rory replied.**

**"You have got my card already,so you know,I'm a solicitor...I can find out things...stop people from getting the job they want!"**

**"Now just a minute..."Tom's Dad said.**

**Rory grabbed the pad and pen from the hall table.**

**"Write your name and address down and when I check up on Tom,I'll not say anything else...okay?"**

**"That's blackmail"**

**"Is it really" John said looking at him with his arms folded"Do you want to take a chance?"**

**Tom's Dad took the pad and wrote on it...Amy went into the kitchen and came back with a carrier bag,she handed it to Tom,**

**"Here,you go,Tom." She said "Its some of the left overs they will only get thrown in the bin"**

**"Thank you miss" he said.**

**Amy pulled him to her in a hug saying,**

**"Its Auntie Amy",and we will see you soon...okay?" She kissed his head.**

**As he walked out the door with his Dad,Rory said,**

**"Remember,I'll be checking!"**

**Shutting the door, and then turning round to the the audience in the hall.**

**"What!"**

**"Well"said Dave,"the "Mafias"got nothing on you two"**

**"Old solicitor trick!"Rory said looking at John.**

**"What's,the "Mafia?" asked Daisy.**

**"Er...Never mind",John said taking her by the shoulders into the lounge " that's for another time"**

**Amy said,**

**"Raggedy man,Daisy wanted to show you what she is,wearing to school "tomorrow"she's going home in it.**

**We will pack the rest in the car"**

**"You have..oh you have,thank you Pond!"John said as he realised what she had said.**

**"You're going now?"he said to Auntie.**

**She touched his face,**

**"Yes,we need to get Daisy to bed...for school,but John don't you dare stop eating as soon as,we've gone...I will be very ****cross**** if you do!"**

**He hugged her to him.**

**"I won't"he whispered "I'm ignoring it! Meaning the voice,"and I hope by the wedding it will be gone!"he turned to Daisy.**

**"Now,Missy...you be a good girl for Granddad and Auntie,okay?"**

**she nodded.**

**"Mummy and me will be home by next Sunday"he looked at Clara over her shoulder as he hugged her."I love you!"**

**"I love you,more" she said back to him as,she went to hugged her mother,Amy and Rory.**

**They out to the car and waved until it disappeared round the corner. Rory said to John,**

**"See,told you Amy would talk her round"**

**"Where is, Pond?" John asked.**

**"Upstairs, she wanted to be on her own,she was,upset finding out Tom was being put into care."Rory replied.**

**"Oh something else,I'm responsible for"John continued."By bringing him here."**

**"Stop it,John,everything is,****not**** always your fault.**

**Things ****happen for a reason. I Will sort it like everything else!"he sighed "I'll talk to Amy...okay!?"**

**A/N**

**Sorry to have not posted for a while**

**Have been on holiday.**

**So John is going to talk the Doctor.**

**What will he find out about his childhood?**

**BUT once the flat is sorted they will**

**Go home,as,they have a home,a wedding,**

**and a baby to prepare for.**

**ALSO think Amy might want to foster Tom,**

**What will Rory think?**

**Chapter 40 soon.**

**Please read,and review.**

**Thanks.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 40**

**Rory found Amy upstairs,in their bedroom,sat on the seat by the window.**

**She had been very quiet since everyone left,which was very unusual for her.**

**"I've finished tidying the kitchen" He said.**

**"Do you want to come and inspect your surfaces?" **

**This was a joke between them,as she was very particular about her kitchen and how it was left.**

**"Later" she replied.**

**Rory thought about leaving her for a while longer,but as he turned to leave she said.**

**"Rory?"**

**"Yes?**

**"How can anyone do that to a little boy? Toss him aside like that?"**

**He turned back round,noticing that she had tears in her eye's. Going over to the window,he went and sat down put his arm around her saying.**

**"Sweetheart, I don't know, I really don't,perhaps he will get someone to foster him who will love him"**

**"Well, it was,obvious that his father didn't!" She replied.**

**"I don't think he even had a proper meal in weeks for a start!"**

**"The brother wasn't any better with him either" Rory continued.**

**"I've never seen John so angry as,when he went went over to stop him hitting Tom. The language"**

**"What from John!" Amy said tongue in cheek.**

**"No,the brother, John hates it especially in front of Daisy or any child for that matter"**

**They both sat quietly for a moment, Amy with her head on his shoulder.**

**Then."****Rory?"**

**"Hmm"_**

**"Do you think we ****could**** perhaps foster Tom?"**

**"Amy it would be a lot of work,I'm not always here you know that" He replied.**

**"It would mostly fall on you"**

** Looking up at him.**

**"I don't mind,it would keep me busy,after the problem of what happened a few weeks ago" **** She said.**

**"You know the Doctor said we could,still have another baby,the miscarriage,it was_" Rory started to say.**

**"As painful for you as, for me" Amy said kissing him.**

**"I think if we do this,we won't be thinking about things and it could help.**

**Would you at least look into it,fostering ?"**

**"Well!" Pulling his hand through his hair.**

**"I have to phone tomorrow to see where he is going to be placed,see that he's alright.**

**I was going to do that anyway. Don't think we will have any objections from his father, he's too scared of losing the great job he's got aboard"**

**"Are you sure it's not the involvement of "Don John" and Don Rory that did that?" **

**Amy said."I love you stupid,face"**

**Kissing him."Thank you"**

**"Do you want to come downstairs now? John and Clara will wonder where we are" He said.**

**"Think I'll have an early night,I'm shattered" She said,yawning.**

**"I was up before John this morning and that's saying something!"**

**"You do know that,we still have his problems,to sort as well?" Rory said.**

**"Yes,I know. Together we can do anything"**

** Rory got his feet. Amy touched his face.**

**"Bring me a drink later,okay. I'll inspect the surfaces tomorrow"**

**She kissed him again,pushing him towards the door.**

**"Go on, get a coffee"**

**Rory went downstairs. John and Clara were sat cuddled together on the sofa. John looked up as he came into the room.**

**" Is Pond okay?"**

**"She's fine,having an early night" Rory replied.**

**He sat down in one of the,armchairs,thinking about what Amy and he had been discussing.**

**'Could they do it? It would help Amy wouldn't it?' He thought.**

**"Rory_Rory_Earth to Rory!"**

**"Hmmm!"He said looking up.**

**John stood in front of him,smiling.**

**"I've asked if you want a coffee? Are you alright mate?"**

**"Got to be,haven't I, to sort everyone else's problems.**

**He sounded slightly bitter.**

**John and Clara looked at each other.**

**"Rory_"Clara started to say.**

**"I SAID ****I'M**** BLOODY FINE!" He shouted,then burst into tears.**

**"Oh ****God.****Now I'm shouting at a pregnant woman" He said.**

** "I'm sorry Clara.I didn't mean that!" **

**He rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand.**

**Clara sat down on the arm of his chair,saying as she put her hand on his shoulder.**

**"Rory, Don't worry about it.**

**You have been carrying us, all our problems for weeks,we never stopped to consider you might have,some as well? Do you want to talk about it?"**

**John put a coffee in his hand.**

**"Here,Rory" He'd never seen him flip like that before.**

**He took a sip of the coffee,decided to come clean.**

**"Its Amy,she had a miscarriage about three weeks ago,now she wants to foster Tom" he said.**

**"WHAT!" John said.**

**"Rory,why didn't you tell me?"**

**"It didn't seem real at first" He replied."Then other things started to get in the way"**

**"Meaning my problems" John said back to him.**

**Rory threw him a look.**

**"Stop it,John, don't you ****guilt**** trip me!**

**If anything,it helped.I would still do it all again.D****on't**** okay!"**

**"Tom's a lovely child"Clara said,"but are you sure you will be doing it for the,right reasons?"**

**"That's what I'm wondering" Rory said.**

**"I've told Amy I would look into it,suppose there's no harm in enquiring is there?"**

**"No" John said. **

**"He would be better here with Amy and you,than In some faceless childrens home or even with some person not much better than that Father of his"**

**"That's it" Rory said.**

**John always put things in perspective.**

**"I'm going to set the,ball rolling in the,morning.**

**Amy wants it"**

**He yawned.**

** "****Think I'll go to bed. Amy asked for a drink"**

**"I'll make it"**

**Clara said getting up, "hot chocolate okay?"**

**"Fine. " He said.**

**After she had made it, she walked over to him with the cup on a saucer.**

**"There you go, just how she likes, it with the marshmallows on top"**

**She kissed his cheek.**

**"Thank you for today Rory, Amy as well,we do appreciate it"**

**John got up and hugged him as well.**

**"Yeah,thanks mate,and I'm sorry if there's anything I can do?"**

**"Two things "Rory replied."Talk to the Doctor on Wednesday and get better okay?"**

**"Right" John said letting him go as Clara handed him the hot chocolate.**

**"Will do,now go to bed,Rory see you in the morning"**

**"Night, Rory,sweet dreams!"**

**Clara said,as he walked out the door balancing the cup.**

**Clara went and sat back down with John on the sofa. Noticing that he had gone quiet said,**

**"John,are you alright?"**

**"Yeah. Thinking about Rory.**

**I've seen him so mad at me over the years,we've had so many arguments, always made up. I've never seen him cry like he did tonight"**

**"I think it must have just hit him,especially after this,business with Tom,do you think they are doing the right thing?"**

**Clara said "Fostering him?"**

**"Yes,they would make good parents.I'm upset about Amy.**

**It must have happened just before we arrived. They always tell me.**

**Must have been because of what was happening to me, they never said anything?"**

**Clara,who had been leaning on him sat up saying.**

**"Stop it,John!"**

**"What!"**

**"The blame game,that every time something goes,wrong it's,somehow your fault,and its not.**

**You weren't even here when it happened! Its life,as Rory,said to you"**

**John thought about it,he ****would ****have**** blamed himself,if Clara hadn't have been there,to give him a,kick up the pants!**

**He pulled Clara to him,and kissed her.**

**"Do you know how much I love you Clara? You make everything right! Complete...see things the right way!"**

**"I love you too,John, think of it this way,I'm pregnant right?"**

**"Is "THAT 'what that bump is? Thought it was wind!"**

**John sat behind her blew into her ear.**

**"Stop it" Clara laughed up at him.**

**She smacked him on the arm.**

**"Behave yourself, seriously though John think how it looked to Amy?**

**She didn't know me, just had a miscarriage.I walk in,her best friends girlfriend and announce we're going to have a baby! **

**Did she scream,shout,lock herself in the bedroom? **

**No she just got on with it,especially with how sick you were at first,and I wasn't much better. The morning sickness,remember?"**

**John nodded.**

**"That's how strong Amy is"**

** She continued."Yes, I think she and Rory will do just fine with Tom,and if a baby happens for them,that as well. **

**Now how about we have an early night to, I'm tired it's been a long day much as,I've enjoyed it" Clara yawned.**

**John looked at her,**

**"You won't want to.Y****ou know?"**

**" That all you think about? Pushing up and kissing him.**

**"Good,so do I. Mr Smith,****bed!"**

**Putting the light off,they did.**

**Monday morning**

**John was in the kitchen the next morning about eight, when Amy came down.**

**"Morning Raggedy man...you okay?"**

**He,didn't say anything just got up and hugged her.**

**"Woe!" She said.**

**"What's the matter...noticing he had,tears in his eyes.**

**"I'm sorry Pond,why didn't you say something?" **

**Amy pulled away from him.**

**"About what?"**

**She seemed puzzled then it clicked to what he was talking about.**

**"I told Rory not to say anything!" she said.**

** "Anyway it doesn't hurt as much we were busy had,other things to sort "**

**"I don't think Rory would have" John sticking up for him.**

**He got upset. I think Tom had something to do with that?"**

**"I thought something was wrong when he came to bed"**

**Amy said. "He was quieter than usual this ****morning as well"**

**"Where is he now?" John asked.**

**"In his office,I think he is going to phone about Tom when the office opens. Do you think this is,the right thing Raggedy man? Am I putting pressure on him to do this?" She said.**

**"No,this could be what you both need" John said.**

**"Pond,you still could try for another baby,it must have hurt when Clara told you she was pregnant?"**

**"We intend to!" Amy continued,putting her arms back around him.**

**"I dont know why,it just were so busy with you both,especially your problems, Raggedy man.I suppose I didn't have time to think,but Rory never thought how much it affected him"**

**"I will talk to him,"John said.**

**" Think you should go for this with Tom,if anything it will give a little boy a home,a proper family"**

**"Thank you!" she said kissing him on the head.**

**"You know,I miss talking to you. I know we fight,fall out ****but if I've got a problem you've always been here for me."**

**She pulled away from him to put the kettle on.**

**"You know that you can talk to me about anything,anytime,even if I'm not here. Amelia?**

** You can phone me,and if you really need me,I will come and sort things if, I can"**

**John replied.**

**"Though I've needed you and Rory more over the last few weeks,for which I'm very grateful"**

**Amy knew by John calling her Amelia, not Pond,he was being serious.**

**Amy eyes bright,with unshed tears.**

**"I was only, 6 weeks gone when it happened. Rory had been so excited about it.**

**He was looking forward to being a Dad,like the cat that got the cream when I told him only two weeks before.**

**Two weeks! To be a Dad,John that's all he had!"**

**Amy was starting to sob.**

**Break down.**

**John took her in his arms and took her in to the lounge,sitting on the sofa with her he let her cry. Even though she and Rory had said it had helped for them to deal with his problems,it seemed as though they both needed him now,and he would be there for them.**

**"We were just about to tell people"**

**Amy continued. "You first of course,never even got to tell his Dad,there didn't seem to be any point_after"**

**John held her saying,**

**"Amy it could still happen,there's nothing wrong is there?"**

**Looking down at her.**

**"No, the Doctor says I'm fine,"she said."I should get pregnant again no problem,but I'm worried that if I do,will it happen again,would I lose another one.I couldn't go through that again,put Rory through that!"**

**"Amy"John said.**

**"if you think like that,you won't get pregnant,and even if you do they will keep a check on you like Clara for her low blood pressure remember? I mean that seems,as though it was a one off.**

**I do hope so,but she has to see Dr Jones when we get home"**

**"Do you think so?" She said.**

**"I know so"he replied"**

**If you don't worry about it, I'm sure it will happen,if you manage to get to foster Tom. I hope you do..Concentrate on that and, I'm sure the rest will come"**

**Clara came in then.**

**"Morning you two,everything alright?"**

**"Fine,"John said giving Amy a final kiss on the forehead.**

**"Think on what I said,Amelia. I'll go and have a word,with Rory now.**

**9.30,he should have rung about Tom. He got up.**

**"Morning,sweetheart,how are you? I need to go and have a chat with Rory in his office okay?"**

**John bent forward to kiss her,as he did so whispered.**

**"Talk to has been upset,but think she would like to talk to another woman"**

**"Kay.." Clara said."You will talk to Rory?"**

**He walked out the door.**

**Amy smiled at Clara and,patted the space next to her on the sofa.**

**"I hope,that things,are not going to get awkward between us,Clara? I don't mind,you being pregnant,really I don't when you first came and,said you were.I'd only just lost my baby,it helped"**

**"Amy,I'm sorry this,happened to you,it would have been nice for us to have our babies together"**

**Smiling she put her arms,round her.**

**"Maybe I can help you with Tom?"**

**"I'd like that if we're allowed to foster him." Amy replied. " Though I'm worried about Rory you think he's okay?"**

**"He did get upset last night,"Clara said "John seemed to think it was,because of Tom.I think he took to him as much as,you he will talk to how about breakfast,I'll make it"**

**She got up to put the kettle back on and put the bread in the toaster.**

**Meanwhile:**

**John knocked on Rorys office door.**

**"Come in" He heard him say.**

**He went in realising that he was on the phone,and waved at him to sit down.**

**"Sorry"John whispered sitting down in front of the desk.**

**" Yes that's great,eleven is fine.**

**We'll look forward,to seeing you then ****to discuss it, bye for now"**

**"That was Tom's social worker,"Rory said.**

**"When he went home from here with "his Dad"last night...he rang her too say Tom had,****run ****away from home and had been missing since dinnertime. **

**As he was going into care from today...he wanted her to pick him up,and to quote his,words..."I can't control him!"**

**"WHAT! The bastard.."John exploded..." He was here with us from that time until he collected him at seven"**

**"I know" Rory continued."He's tried to make out it was us in the wrong"**

**He was getting agitated,walking up and down.**

**"Well,I wasn't fucking having that,oh no.I soon put her right about that.**

**He's in ****the children's home for now.**

**He's's a little boy for Gods sake!**

**Do people not realise how precious that is! people like him don't deserve kids!"**

**John got up and walked over too him,took hold,of his arms.**

**"RORY!" Stop this,sit down, bloody calm down!" Pushing him into the chair behind the desk.**

**Rory glared at him.**

**"I bet your loving this" He said " The boots on the other foot now!"**

**John looked puzzled.**

**"Not sure what you're on about,mate?"**

**"Oh don't you mate me!"he replied.**

**"your going to be a father and "I can't!"_He started to sob.**

**"Oh God! Amy,the baby_I-I_"**

**John kneeling down,tried to pull him in his arms.**

**He resisted at first, then he let go.**

**"Its not fair! Why_why_"Rory sobbed.**

**"We did everything right. Only 2 weeks that's all we had!"**

**"I know,I know."John said.**

**Arms round his friend.**

**"Amy told me. Rory you should talk about it not bottle it up,I found that out to my cost,and I still don't know why I'm like this. ****With your help,hope I will.**

** If you can't talk to Amy,talk to me okay?"**

**Rory nodded and wiped his eyes.**

**"Sorry John. I Didn't mean to shout at you.I've been fine for the last few weeks,it's only because of Tom I think it has come to a head now"**

**"We guessed that,now what's happening,I take it someone is,coming to see you about him?" John asked.**

**"Yes,his,social worker Jane Davis.**

**She knows we want to foster him,also know his Father,that he was trying to off load him. I think he was trying to shift the blame on us,so he wouldn't lose this wonderful job he's got.**

**"Well its a start"John continued.**

**"You are doing something positive,and while you look after Tom,I think a baby will happen for you and Amy"**

**"If they let us"Rory said .**

**"Have you been talking to Amy?" looking at him.**

**John nodded.**

**"She was as upset as you need to talk and can't to each other,**

**then to talk to me,right?"**

**"Okay" Rory replied. "Thanks John.**

**How about after we've had breakfast we go to your flat and sort out what you want to take back to Tadchester with you. We can get anything else out you want,then when you go home next week,I can get an estate agent in to look at it for you"**

**"Yes,and then when you sorted out tomorrow about Tom,we will go see the Doctor on Wednesday.**

**Get the ball rolling,find out why I don't remember"**

**Come on Rory,I'm hungry. Breakfast?"**

**"You actually want to eat?"**

**"Blimey,John that's a first,you must be getting better,keep this up and Clara,will make an honest man of you on the 2nd of August"**

**"Oi, watch it! John laughed leading the way out into the kitchen.**

**A/N**

**Next chapter up soon.**

**A visit from Tom's social worker.**

**Will they be allowed,to foster him?**

**Also John and Rorys first visit to see**

**the physicist for John's problems.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Return to Love**

**Chapters 41**

**John and Rory were in the formers flat,trying to sort out what to leave and what John would want for the new flat at the hotel.**

**"Most of this can be sold at auction"**

**John was,saying to him.**

**"I don't want Clara to have anything do with my past life with Sue"**

**"If your sure" Rory said. **

**"You could save money this,way"**

**"No, I want her to have all ****new**** I can afford it. I only want the couple of antique pieces that were my Grandparents,you know the writing desk and the tall cupboard"**

**"Right,we can store them in,my garage"**

**Rory continued.**

**"Until we can make arrangements to move them to Tadchester,for you"**

**Saying then.**

**"What about Sue's clothes and other things?"**

**"Charity shop,unless Gloria wants,them. It may seem heartless,but I don't want any reminders"**

**John replied back.**

**"Its not much,John,a few boxes and suitcases to show for a life"**

**"I'm starting a new life with Clara.I will make new memories"**

**He smiled. Looking at Rory.**

**"Time to stop for a coffee?"**

**"I'll go put the kettle on,then"**

**Rory went over to the other side of the room,into the kitchen/diner.**

**John walked over to the writing desk,touching the carving that was on the side of it. Shivering. He heard a voice saying.**

**"JOHN,stop that! Why can't you behave.**

**Just like your "fucking Mother"Useless! Stop that sniveling or I'll give you something to cry for!" **

**The voice was screaming on and on at him!**

**"Do you want a spanking! DO YOU!?"**

**"No,Daddy! I'll be good,I'm sorry,I'm sorry! Please,Daddy! Don't spank me Please!**

**As if from a long way off,he could hear another voice.**

**Someone touching his face.**

**"John what's the matter? Come on open your eyes for me"**

**When he did,John was on the floor under the writing desk. His hands were over his ****face,which was wet with tears.**

**Looking up into Rory's worried face said.**

**"W-what happening?"**

**He seemed fully confused by it all.**

**"I came back in with the coffee,you were,on the floor rocking and crying. Something about being good boy?**

**Not getting a spanking kept saying you were sorry to ****Daddy**** over and over!" Rory said.**

**"John did you remember something?"**

**John got up from the floor with Rory's help,he was shaking, nearly fell. **

**"Here!" Rory said.**

** "Sit down on the sofa for a minute"**

**John rubbed his head.**

**I think it was a flashback,it's fading now though" **

**"John,you've gone as white as a sheet! Do you want some water?"**

**When John nodded,Rory went to the kitchen, came back with a glass filled with water.**

**He tried to take it from him,but as he was still shaking so much, it slipped out of his hands.**

**"I'm,sorry_don't spank me!"**

**He moved quickly away from Rory as, though he was really frightened and didn't know him.**

**"John is alright. It's me ****Rory"**** He tried to put his hand on his face.**

**John flinched away from him.**

**"No_No_"**

**"John,mate_it's me_"**

**He said again.**

**"No one's going to hurt you,I won't let them"**

**He put his hand on John's face,this time he let him.**

**"Look at me! Come on Who am I? Tell me please?"**

**"You're my friend Rory!" **

**He said bursting into tears.**

**"W-hats happening,I-I don't understand,why am I l-like this?"**

**Rory put his arms round him.**

**"Its alright,John,we'll sort it out not today,right,we'll head back in a moment. We've done all we can here for now anyway"**

**Rory held him until he'd calmed. Then said.**

**"John,did your parents live in this flat?"**

**"Sometimes,I think so,my Dad use to come up to London on business"**

**"How about your Mum and you?"**

**"Maybe"_**

**He replied.**

**"I don't remember coming here. Perhaps Auntie would know? Rory. Think I'm going to be sick!"**

**Putting his hand over his mouth he,bolted for the bathroom.**

**There was the sound of John vomiting,then the toilet flushing and running water.**

**Leaning against the bathroom doorway,Rory closed his eyes.**

**'God,what was going on with John? He was doing great especially the last 24 hour's more so since Daisy's visit! Now he had to go back and tell the girls he was feeling ill again.**

**He knew whatever it was,wasn't John's fault.**

**Would this never end!? **

**Realising that John was still in the bathroom,and had been in there for a good ten minutes,he knocked on the door.**

**" You okay?"**

**There was no reply.**

**"John, answer me! John!"**

**He tried the door handle,it was locked.**

**'Oh fuck!' He wouldn't,would he!?**

**Suddenly,he heard,the bolt go and the door opened,John came out.**

**Rory heaved a sigh of relief, but said to him.**

**"Are you alright?"**

**"Why did you think I was,going to top myself? What with Rory? my shaving stuffs at yours.I think you got rid of the pills after the last time.**

**There is some shampoo in there suppose,I could drink that if I didn't feel sick already"**

**"Stop it John! Now you're just being silly, I was worried that's all! Are you ready to go?"**

**When he nodded,they both went to the door. Rory said.**

**"We'll come back on Thursday,move what you want over to ours and I'll arrange for the auction house to come for the rest,if that's okay with you John?"**

**"Whatever!_"**

**He said irritable.**

**" Can we go now,Rory? I'm tired"**

**They locked up the flat and went back to the house.**

**Amy and Clara were sat in the lounge.**

**John just went and got a glass of water saying.**

**"I'm going for a lie-down,see you all later"**

**"John,what's the matter?"**

**Clara,starting towards him.**

**"I'm fine_ Leave me be Clara!"**

** He went up the stairs.**

**"What's going on?" Clara said to Rory.**

** "Have you had an argument?"**

**" He's had some sort of episode while we were sorting things out !"**

**Then he told them what happened.**

**"Do you think it is,something to do with what happened when he was little?"**

**Amy asked.**

**"Could be,I've never seen him so frightened,it was as though someone was going to hurt him,and when he dropped the glass of water,and he thought it was me. Then didn't know me!"**

**Rory shuddered at the thought.**

**"I'm going to ring Auntie in a while see if she can remember him going there with his parents.**

**It's something to do with that dam flat,I know it!"**

**"How about some lunch,Rory? Before you ring Auntie"**

**Amy continued.**

**"What about John?"**

**"Just a sandwich and a coffee will be fine, I don't think John will want anything as he's been sick,leave him"**

**Looking at Clara.**

**"Don't worry he'll be fine just had a shock that's all,will be alright later"**

**She nodded.**

**"I'll just go and check on him,if he doesn't want me there I will come straight back down"**

**Going upstairs,she crept quietly to the bed room door and peeked round it. John was fast asleep on the bed,there were tear tracks on his cheeks,as though he had cried himself to sleep.**

**Her heart went out to him,she loved him so much even when he took the hump with her.**

**Covering him up,she gave him a light kiss on the cheek and went back downstairs.**

**Rory looked up from where he was sat at the table eating a sandwich.**

**"Is he alright? Clara?"**

**"He's asleep"**

**She said tearfully.**

**"It looks like he'd been crying,what's going on with him? I know he has problems,but I thought he was getting there!"**

**"Clara,we will get him well for your wedding,you know that don't you?"**

**He looked over at Amy.**

**"There is,something not right and I think it is,something to do with his parents,his Dad especially.I know he is going to see the Doctor in a couple of days,but I'm determined to find out something before then. I think Auntie,knows,more than she's letting on as well!"**

**"Rory!" **

**Amy said.**

**"We promised we wouldn't say anything"**

**"That was,to John,and I'm sorry if its something to do with his sanity,that comes first!"**

**Clara looked from Rory to Amy.**

**"Now look you two,enough is enough.**

**Tell me what's going on! please! That man up there is my life"**

**She pointed upwards.**

**"But I need to know!"**

**"Rory_!"**

**"No Amy,we have to tell her!"**

**He replied.**

**Telling Clara what Auntie had told them the day before about John's parents.**

**"I hope to God,I'm wrong, she mentioned about John's Dad being very strict with him,what if was more than that? There's bullying,other things"**

**"What!"Amy said.**

**"You don't think,he would do that,to his own son? Surely not!"**

**Amy realising what he meant.**

**"What about when he was Johnnie or in a nightmare,he was calling out for him!"**

**"Amy,that was my Dad. When John's parents were killed,he use to call him Daddy.**

** You remember? Think it was because I did and he wanted to belong"**

** Rory said.**

** "Clara,are you alright?"**

**He knelt down to where,she was sat on the sofa.**

**Looking up at him with tears in her eyes,she said to him.**

**"Oh please,Rory,not that please.I couldn't cope with it,I know,but could John?"**

**Rory put his arms around her saying.**

**"It might not be that bad,we are thinking the worst because of the way he is I will have to phone Auntie"**

**He got up to make his way to his office when there was a terrible screaming coming from the bedroom upstairs.**

**Meanwhile**

**John was dreaming, he was in the living room of the flat It wasn't today,no it was..Well he didn't know when it was. He was hiding under the desk,knew that if Daddy found him there would be ****very****, ****very**** cross...with him.**

**He didn't mean to be naughty,but no matter how much he tried,to be good he always shouted at him.**

**"Not fair! not fair! He was a good boy,he was! He wanted Mummy or Auntie to come and cuddle him,but they were at home in Leadworth and he was here with Daddy.**

** Didn't want to be,wanted to be at home in his bed.**

**The tears poured down his cheeks.**

**Suddenly a voice said.**

**"John! What are you doing under there?**

**I've told,you before that is,an expensive piece,of furniture to play on,do you want another spanking? I thought you would have learnt your lesson the last time.**

**Come here,you little sod!"**

**A hand was grabbing for him,he was kicking,screaming.**

**"No.I'll be a good boy!**

**Don't,spank me please,please" **

**He was begging now! Didn't understand why! Why!.What had he done?**

**Rory had never moved so fast in his life! He knew it was John before he'd even got to the bedroom door.**

**John was in the corner of the room,curled up saying.**

**"No. Daddy! I didn't mean to be naughty,leave me alone. I want Mummy! Auntie!"**

**He was really sobbing now.**

**Every time Rory went near him,he screamed.**

**" LEAVE ME ALONE! NO! NO!"**

**Pushing Rory away from him.**

**'Christ!' Rory thought.**

**"What the hell can I do!?"**

**"Rory,do something please!"**

** Clara was in tears stood in the doorway,Amy her arms round her.**

**Then he had a thought, kneeling down next to John,he caught hold of his hands even though John kept resisting him.**

**" Johnnie,it's not your "N****asty ****Daddy" ****he's,gone away,remember? It's Rory's Daddy.**

**You know Rory,my little boy? You play with him in the park?"**

**He looked,over at Amy still stood in the doorway with Clara.**

**John was starting to calm down,but still sobbing slightly.**

**"W-ith...A-my_ on the s-wings" **

**"Yes, that's right" Rory continued touching his face.**

**"You're a good boy, I know that. Good boys don't ****get**** punished.**** Are you going to go back to bed now? You can play with Rory in the morning,won't that be good,he'll like that!"**

**Rory was nearly in tears.**

**Swallowing his emotions.**

**"Come on now" He said.**

**John nodded his head,wiping the tears away,Rory helped him up to put him back into the bed.**

**He stroked his head.**

**"That's a good boy,hush now"**

**"Mummy,I want_My_Mum_"**

**John's voice faded as he slipped back into sleep.**

**" I know you do"_**

** Rory kissed his forehead as he got up from the floor. He pointed to the door.**

**Leaving it open so they could hear him if he called went downstairs.**

**Rory,picked up a glass from the table,and then threw it at the living room wall,smashing it to pieces! **

**"Rory_What!_"**

**Amy said.**

**He was walking up and down.**

**She noticed he had tears in his eyes.**

**"I've got to ring Auntie, there is definitely some sort of abuse here,adults are suppose to look after us when we are little"**

**He pointed..**

**"If I find out ****she**** knew that ****he**** was hurting John I will never speak to her,again or forgive her!"**

**"I think you'd better calm down first"**

**Amy replied.**

**"We know something is,wrong,you can't accuse Auntie till you know the facts_Rory"**

**"THEN WHY IS HE LIKE THIS!"**

**Rory shouted. Then looking at the shocked faces of the two girls.**

**"Oh God,I'm sorry.I don't mean to shout,that's not John Smith up there,but a frightened little boy and we need to find out why,okay?"**

**Clara came over to him.**

**"Rory,sit.**

**Amy,make him a coffee then we will ring Auntie together right?"**

**When he looked puzzled,she continued.**

**"You've got one of those speaker phone things on your desk haven't you?"**

**When he nodded said.**

**"Then we can all speak to Auntie.,it's only just gone one so she should be in her office,Daisy should be in school"**

**Amy went to the kitchen to make some drinks and then the three of them went into the office leaving the door open in case John called out.**

**Rory dialled the number.**

**As it rang, Clara said.**

**"Calmly, If you shout,we won't find out anything and we need to for John"**

**Rory squeezed her hand.**

**"Mary Drew" **

**Said a voice.**

**"Auntie,it's Rory.I've got Amy and Clara here with me"**

**"Is John not with you,is he alright.?"**

**She sounded panicking.**

**"He's asleep at the moment" **

**Rory continued.**

**"I need to ask you something, about him, Auntie and it's very important you tell me the truth"**

**"What is it,Rory? you're frightening me now,is there something wrong with him?"**

**"He ****is**** asleep,but I need to know something.**

**When he was 3, you said his Dad was,very strict with him,how strict,Auntie,enough to hurt him?"**

**"Hurt,him Rory,in what way hurt him?"**

**Rory took a deep breath.**

**"Maybe,spanking him"**

**He looked to the girls. **

**"Maybe,even rougher stuff"**

**Rory swallowed then said.**

**"We're not too sure,John has been having nightmares,flashbacks to that time and his Dad spanking him.**

**Did he ever take John to the flat with or without his Mum? What about you,Auntie,did you ever go with John and his Dad?"**

**"No,I didn't,Rory," she said.**

** "Though I admit,my brother in law was over strict with John.I told him so,many times. I disagreed with the way he disciplined him. I was told to mind my own business.**

**There were also bruises on him,but I was told it was,from him playing.**

**Thinking back it could have been from a spanking,perhaps,I should,have done more?"**

**"What about your sister?"**

**Rory continued.**

**"What did she think about all this?"**

**"I think she was afraid of him as well.**

**I know,she had the affair like I told you,but I think she only went back to him because he was so controlling,he threatened to take John away from her."**

**Auntie said then.**

**"Rory,the week before the accident,he took him to the flat.**

**John came back with a broken arm"**

**"WHAT!"**

** Clara said,she had been quiet up to now.**

**"You think his,Dad did that to him, Auntie!?"**

**"He told me he fell, playing" **

**She said.**

**" That he,was climbing on the writing desk of all things,which didn't seem like John at all I didn't really believe it"**

**"Nor do I" Rory replied.**

** "From his nightmares, it seems as though he was,trying to get away from someone.**

**It only came to a head today because we were,sorting out the flat.**

**You don't think his,Dad would "hurt" him In other ways do you?" **

**Voicing what was at the back of their minds,and no one,wanted to say...**

**"OH ****Surely**** not,Rory,I think he,wasn't that way"**

**Auntie said.**

**"Well,perhaps things,will come out,when he talks to the Doctor on Wednesday,because I won't ask him,that.**

**Not unless I have to."**

** Rory said.**

**"Auntie, will ring you when we have seen him,let you know what happened,okay?I know it's,hard,but try not to worry about him.**

**I'm sorry I had to ask such awkward questions,about "things"**

**"That's alright,Rory dear,give him my love and I'll speak to you sometime on Wednesday"**

**"Auntie,love to Daisy and my Dad"**

**Clara added.**

**"Bye_"**

**They hung up.**

**Rory was very quiet, Amy came over and kissed him.**

**"Oi,stupid face. Are you okay?"**

**He smiled at that**

**"Just don't leave any more glasses about for me to throw.**

**Didn't tell her about Tom,maybe it's best to wait until everything is settled?"**

**Amy nodded at him.**

**They went back into the lounge,John was just coming down the stairs,he went and sat on the sofa.**

**"Wondered where you all were" He said.**

**Rory,looking at the girls,said.**

**"You're up,are you alright mate?"**

**"Yeah,I'm fine."He looked at Clara.**

**"I'm sorry I got upset with you,before seem to be doing that a lot lately"**

**She walked over to him,touching his face said.**

**"That's alright,sweetheart,do you want anything to eat,a coffee?"**

**"Not really"**

**He said looking at her.**

** "But suppose I should?"**

**Amy said I'll make some for us all ,its nearly 3 and we've had nothing since breakfast"**

**"I'll give you a hand"**

** Rory said,going with her to the kitchen.**

**Clara,sat down next to John.**

**He put his arm round her ,she smiled up at him.**

**" Are you feeling better?"**

**"Think so," He was quieter than usual.**

**"Do you want to go back upstairs for a while,when we've eaten?"**

**She asked him.**

**"NO,Maybe.l mean we can if you want,but its,early,perhaps later? Think I've had enough sleep for now!" He said.**

**"Okay"**

**Clara knew that John was lying, he would never push her to "cuddle"at the same time never refused when she wanted to.**

**Something was wrong.**

**If she didn't know any better,she would think he was,frightened to go to sleep.**

**Amy and Rory came back in then with plates of sandwiches and drinks for them all.**

**Getting up and walking over to the table to get,some for John. Rory looked at her,**

**"Problem?_"**

**"We may have later,might not get him to go to bed,let alone,to sleep. I've got this feeling he won't as he's afraid"**

**She said.**

**Rory looked over at John,he looked so tired,and was fighting to stay awake.**

**"It might not be a case of going to bed,he's dead on his feet as it is.**

**WE might get him to lie down on the sofa,once he's eaten"**

**He said.**

**"If it's the nightmares that's frightening him might feel safer if he knows we're near by?"**

**Clara,sighed.**

**"We can try"**

**Putting a couple of sandwiches on a plate and grabbing a coffee she went back and sat on the sofa next to John,who jerked awake.**

**"No!"**

**"Hey_" **

**She said touching his face.**

**"Its only me, sweetie,Clara"**

**John focused on her and smiled,he rubbed his,eyes.**

**"Sorry,is,that for me"**

**He said taking the cup from her.**

**Clara noticed that he was,shaking slightly as,he took a sip of the coffee.**

**"Here" she said.**

**"Let me put that down on the table for you John while you eat your sandwich"**

**Putting the cup on the table in front of him,she handed him the plate with the sandwiches on it. **

**Maybe it was,because he was still shaky the plate fell out of his ****hand on to the floor. John shot up as, though something was after him!**

**" Please I'm sorry.I'm sorry!"**

**Rory who had,been eating his sandwiches at the table,got up quickly went towards him.**

**"Hey,John come on, it's not a problem,it was an accident!"**

**John looked at him,as though he wasn't sure who he was at first,**

**"R-Rory_?"**

**Rory looked over at Clara who was picking up the sandwiches and plate from the floor,said,**

**"Course,it is,mate._ He walked over too him,John flinched as he touched him.**

**"No one is going to hurt you,John.I promise you. Look,why don't you come and sit back down here on the sofa?"**

**He touched him again on the shoulder,then he put his,arm round him,letting him lead him to the sofa,and sit him down on it.**

**"Look I'm here,and Clara is,so why don't you lie down and have a nap?"**

**He tried to ease John back to lie down.**

**"NO!.**

**John was,fighting him to get back up from the,sofa.**

**"I don't want to,every time I shut my eyes_I see_!"**

**"What is it you see,John!?" **

**Rory asked touched John on the face.**

**"What or who is,frightening you?"**

**He held on to him.**

**"Look you are dead beat,why don't you shut your eyes. If you start to dream,we will wake you,okay?"**

**John still didn't seem so sure,so Clara came over to him saying.**

**"Sweetheart,you trust me,don't you?" **

**When he nodded,she continued,as she sat down on the sofa and patted her lap_**

**"Why not put your head down with me and the"bump"? **

**John smiled at that,but did as,she asked.**

**Clara stroked his head.**

**"There,you go,think about our wedding in eight weeks,the baby,Daisy, Rory and Amy are,going to look after Tom. The hotel,what plans,you have for it. That's it. Go to sleep!**

**John's breathing evened,he was asleep,in moments.**

**"Well done,Clara,"**

**Rory helped ease John down onto the sofa and covered him up.**

**They went over to the dining table to talk.**

**"He didn't eat anything,but at the moment,think he needs,the sleep more" **

**She said.**

**"Rory,thank you,this must be so hard on you,seeing him like this?"**

**"Hey,come on" **

**He said **

**"We're coping and its only two more days.**

**Perhaps this has to come out to help him?"**

**"You have to see Tom's social worker tomorrow as well"**

** Clara continued.**

**Looking at Amy who had,come in with fresh coffee and of course a tea for Clara said.**

**"If I can sort two cases out at the same time at Master's.I can do this.**

**Piece of cake!"**

**Looking at her.**

**"Are you alright,Clara?"**

**Amy asked putting the tea down in front of her.**

**"I'm just fine"**

**She said,tearfully glancing across,at John.**

**"I want him to get well" **

**Rubbed at her eyes with her hand.**

**"I'm sorry,keep getting upset like this"**

**"Clara,stop it told you before its okay your pregnancy it's fine"**

**Amy looked over at Rory and smiled at him.**

** "We're fine"**

**"Yes._****" He said smiling back.**

**"We are"_**

**A/N**

**Know,I said,John would be visiting the**

**Doctor,but decided to make,it the next one,**

**as he as had,one or two problems_**

**So have Rory and Amy_**

**Next chapter,visit to the Doctor,**

**and Tom's social worker comes,to see **

**Rory and Amy.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thank You.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 42**

**John slept for about four hours. It seemed a dreamless sleep,he didn't wake-up to nightmares for which they were thankful.**

**It was supper****time before he did. Yawning and stretching couldn't quite remember what he had been upset over before. What was, ****he**** doing on the sofa?**

**Clara seeing that he was waking, came ****over.**

**"Hello,sweetheart have you had a good sleep? "Smiling at her said.**

**"Hmmm ! What time is It ?"**

**"Seven,time for supper. ****Are ****you hungry?"**

**"Yes, think that I am" He yawned again.**

**"Need to wake up first,have I got time for a shower?"**

**"Course you have, Raggedy Man"**

** Amy coming in putting a bowl of salad in the middle of the table.**

**She glanced at Rory who was sat in one of the armchairs looking through some papers from a file.**

**John got up walked to the door,ruffled Rory's hair as he passed saying.**

**"Don't you ever stop working,mate?!"**

**"Go and get your shower."**

**Watching him go.**

**John stuck his tongue out at him,then went up to the bathroom.**

**After he'd gone.**

**"Well,that's_"Amy said.**

**"He's lots better?" Clara said.**

**Both of them looked at Rory****,who shook his head at them.**

**"I don't want to get your hopes ****up to soon,you both know he can change. The anti depressants that he's on are helping.**

**We will just have,to hope that nothing sets him off into the nightmares again"**

**"Perhaps you should,keep him away from the flat?" Amy suggested to him.**

**"Maybe" Rory said.**

**"Definitely think one-way or another that was what set him off,in the first place. He needs to talk about it,but not to us. Doctor Barclay should help there"**

**Meanwhile**

**Upstairs,John was back in the bedroom,getting dressed after his shower.**

**He paused to look in the mirror,as he combed his damp hair.**

**There something behind him.**

**Turning round nothing was there.**

**Looking back towards,the mirror,thought he saw the outline of a man that looked familiar.**

**"D-Daddy!?" His hand on the mirrored ****surface.**

**The reflection stared back at him****.**

**"Don't think because you're all grown-up you can escape me,John. Fucking useless,stupid. Llke 'Mummy and that Auntie'**

**Mimicking at John.**

**"STOP IT! Don't say that about them!"**

**"Are you talking back to me? Don't you ****fucking**** DARE!"**

**The reflection screamed at him. **

**John stumbled backwards towards the bed,in fear.**

**"I'm not,I'm not!_"**

**Head in his hands,he began to rock.**

**There was a knock on the door****,****because he was upset,shaking didn't hear it.**

**Rory put his head round the door.**

**"John. Suppers ready"**

**Coming into the room,over to the bed.**

**John? What's the matter?" Seeing the panic he was in.**

**John looked up,face chalk white.**

**'fuck Now what' Rory thought.****Sitting next to him on the bed,touched his face.**

**"Hey John,come on. What's the problem?"**

**John was in tears said.**

**"Rory,he won't leave me alone.I'm frightened!"**

**"Who John?" Rory asked.**

**Putting an arm round him said softly,**

**"Talk to me. Tell me. Please_"**

**Glancing over Rory's shoulder at the reflection in the mirror.**

**It glared back at heard ****his**** voice say to him.**

**"That's right, do as ****Daddy**** tells you John.****Not to old for a spanking,or a broken arm!"**

**It threatened.**

**"No! No! Leave me alone,you want to hurt me!"**

**Trying to pull away from Rory,who held on to him following his line of vision to the mirror.**

**"John. Stop it!"**

**He shook him gently.**

**Not entirely following what was happening.**

**"You know it's me? I will never hurt you right?"**

**John nodded at him.**

**"Then do you want to tell me who is frightening you?"**

**John was still shaking slightly and kept looking over Rory's shoulder.**

**He seemed to be looking at the mirror,then said.**

**"It's Daddy. Wants to hurt me! He broke my arm!" He whimpered.**

**"Wants ****to do it again"**

**Rubbing his right arm,Rory was surprised he remembered.**

**Perhaps certain things were coming back to him?**

**"John,your Dad died thirty years ago" Rory tried to tell him.**

**"No!_"**

**John was shaking his head.**

**He's still here,over there!" He pointed,in the direction of the mirror,****behind ****Rory. He looked over.**

**"John. it's just a mirror look!" **

**He pulled John up towards,the mirror with some resistance.**

**"Its just you and me. See?"**

**John put his hand on the mirror,he thought there was nothing there,at first. Then a voice said.**

**"Don't think ****you're ****fucking ****getting ****rid of me that easily. I've been in your head,waiting all this time. All it took was this,trauma.****Why should you have a life,when I didn't? ****All those pills****,****won't ****get rid of me John!"**

**Rory could feel him shaking.**

**Then his eyes rolled up into the back of his head,he passed out.**

**"Oh Shit! ****John****! ****What is,going on in that head of yours?_"**

**He lowered him to the floor****,then ****went to the door.**

**"Amy!" He yelled.**

**She appeared at the bedroom door,followed by Clara.**

**"What's keeping you,stupid face? Oh no,**** what did he do now?"**

**"John!"_**

**Clara got down on the floor putting his head in her lap.**

**Rory had gone to get a wet flannel from the bathroom.**

**He knelt down next to Clara and bathed John's face with it.**

**"Rory,what happened?"she,asked him."is,he having nightmares again?"**

**"Sort of,from what I can tell,he thinks his Dad is,still alive and wants,to hurt him"**

**"What..?****" ****Amy said. ..How?"**

**Rory began to tell them what happened from finding him talking to his Dad and that only John could see him.**

**"What do we,do?" Clara,asked. "The Doctor again?**

**"There's not much,he can do.I still think that Dr Barclay is,the best bet.**

**If John turns violent, we've got a ****problem**** and we get the Doctor then.I don't think it will come to that.**

**We just have to convince John his Dad,is,****not ****here****.At the moment,it's a battle of his,mind against the pills" **

**There was a groan from John...he was coming round...**

**"Sweetheart..." Clara was, stroking his head.**

**"C-Clara...w-where is ****h-he?"**

**"John there's only,Rory,Amy and me here.**

**No one is going to hurt you...He died...it's all in your head."**

**"N-no,he-he t-thinks it's m-my f-fault!" He was getting upset..**

**"TThe a-accident!"**

**Clara looked at Rory and Amy. Then to John.**

**"Sweetheart, he died.Y****ou were three years old...it wasn't your ****fault****!..."**

**John was clinging to Clara.**

**He was looking round frantically,as though he expected his Dad to pop up out of "thin air" any moment.''**

**"M-make,him-m go a-way...please...!...p-please" He was,pleading with them.**

**"Only you can do that,John" Rory said, " If he is,here it's because you see him not us.**

**Come on let go of Clara,and let me,help you up,alright?"**

**At first he thought,John wasn't going to until he said****,**

**"Stop being silly!_"**

**Hoping he sounded like his"****o****wn Dad" who he thought John would,listen to.**

**Amy was,always telling him he did!**

**"Right!_"**

**He said when they were both sat,on the bed.**

**"Look round ****the ****room,tell me,who you see and where****. ****John,this,won't work unless,you open your eyes,mate...come on !_"**

**When he didn't,he said...**

**"Clara, I apologise..."**

**"What for?_"she said to him puzzled.**

**"This!" Turned John towards him...and, yelled.**

**"DO AS YOUR TOLD OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!"**

**John did with the shock.**

**"Sorry, Amy"**

**With a look to his wife.**

**"Right,now we're all paying attention,look round the room,,tell me who you see and where."**

**"****Well t****here's ****P****ond by the door,and Clara holding my hand here"He said kissing it. **

**"****Y****ou're on the bed next to me,Rory"**

**"Okay,,now the hard bit****,**** John stand up and walk to the mirror..."**

**He sensed that ,he was,going to panic, make a run for it! So keeping a firm grip on his,arm said.**

**"You can do this,John come on...****only ****you ****can**** make him go away."**

**Nodding towards the mirror.**

**"Well go on then"_**

**Letting him go.**

**Taking a deep breath,John got up and walked over to the mirror,he looked behind him.**

**Rory was still sat on the bed.**

**The girls who were still were they were before smiled.**

**Looking back,Rory heard him say...**

**"I can do this..." Placing his hand on the glass said.**

**"You're not real..not real...!"**

**He closed his eyes and then opened he could see was his own reflection and the others behind him.**

**Clara came up to him as he turned round to her saying,**

**"He's gone...Sweetheart,he's gone,then as she put her arms round him,he burst into tears.**

**Later...11pm**

**Rory and Amy were in bed but not asleep.**

**Amy said..."Do you think that Raggedy Man will be okay now?"**

**"God, I hope so "Rory replied.**

**"I love him and will help him but I need my sleep tonight"**

**Amy sat up in the bed.**

**"Rory,you are sure about this with Tom tomorrow? We are doing the right thing?"**

**"Hey..."Where's that "gutsey" girl I married?"**

**"She's still here" laying back across his chest. "I'm worried about you."**

**"Oh..Why?" **

**Amy bit her lip..."Will it be too much for you,coping with this as well as John's problems? I hadn't really thought about it until now,especially with how he was tonight"**

**"Amy,I'm hoping by the end of this week that if John is not on the road to recovery,he will be part way. Needs a push now,and I'm sure Clara will do that.**

**What he needs now is to go home,get married,start work on what he wants for the hotel,then settle down with Clara,Daisy and the baby.**

**Get the family he so desperately wants,we can still support him,but from a distance. We have a life too,right?"**

**"I know" She said "I love you stupid face..."**

**"Now,Mrs Williams,shall we get some sleep" He said turning out the light.**

**She started to giggle.**

**"What...Amy?" She still lay in his arms.**

**"Nothing much" She replied.**

**"Thinking of John's face when you swore at him to open his eyes,don't know who was more shocked"**

**"Me,it was out before I thought about it.**

**Go to sleep..."**

**Tuesday 10.44****am**

**Jane Davis sat in her car outside the house of Mr and Mrs Williams.**

**She was slightly early,so was reading the file on them.**

**They were a professional couple,he was a solicitor and she was a children's writer. The type of people who they were interested into foster. She smiled,thinking of Tom,he had so much upset In the first few years,of his life,maybe this was what he needed.**

**She looked at her watch...five to.**

**Getting out of her car,locking it and walking up the path to the front door.**

**Ringing the bell she waited as foot steps came down the hall.**

**The door was,opened by a woman with red hair who smiled at her.**

**"Mrs Williams?"she put out her hand,"I'm Jane Davis from Social Services."**

**She smiled,**

**"Hello,come in"**

**Has she followed her into the hall said.**

**" It's Amy..."**

**Going into the lounge,a sandy haired young man stood up to greet her.**

**"Mr Williams?"**

**He laughed.**

**"Rory...if you keep saying Mr Williams,I keep looking round for my Dad"**

**"Then it's,Jane if we're not being formal."**

**There was,another couple in the room a man with green eyes, a floppy fringe over it, and a small woman with brown eyes and long brown hair.**

**"These are our friends John and Clara,they have been visiting us"**

**Rory introducing them to her.**

**"Oh,Daisy's Mum and Dad"**

**When they looked surprised said.**

**"Tom has not stopped talking about you ****all**** since Sunday.**

**He was telling me how you met him in the park and rescued him from his brother...Sam?"**

**"Well," Rory said..."It was John that did the rescuing he was hitting Tom for no reason."**

**John said getting up...**

**"Maybe that's for another time,Amy we will go and get that shopping you want..."**

**"Oh,you don't need to hurry away,I'm sure"**

**Jane said.**

**"I think you would be able to talk better to Rory and Amy,if we weren't here, but it was nice to meet you Jane"**

**He pulled Clara to her feet.**

**"Coming,Clara?...slow walk to the supermarket?"**

**"Okay,John...bye Jane" she smiled.**

**As John and Clara left,Jane turned to Rory and Amy.**

**"What a nice couple,do they live here in London?"**

**"No,Tadchester,John runs the hotel there with his Aunt,he and Clara are getting married in eight weeks." Rory said.**

**"Oh,so Daisy isn't Johns then?"**

**"No, he thinks of her as such...**

**Clara is pregnant,the baby due at Christmas"**

**Rory smiled at Amy and held her hand.**

**They had decided to be evasive about questions of John's health,as he seemed to be getting better,and besides wasn't a danger to anyone.**

**"Now," Jane said. "Shall we talk about Tom?**

**His Mother died when he was four.,He has been under our care on and off since then.I've been his case worker for the last two years"**

**Looking at Rory,Amy said,**

**"He seems to be mistreated,not starving,but its as though he doesn't get to eat regular?"**

**"Yes," Rory "added.**

**"He ate his way through three helpings of Amy's cooking the other day and that's saying something"**

**"Hey"-"she said hitting him on the arm.**

**"Ow! Amy...Sorry " To Jane.**

**"Family joke.**

**She can cook...brilliantly"**

** Rubbing his arm... laughter in his eyes.**

**Jane laughed she liked this young couple in front of her.**

**"Its not that his Dad is deliberately cruel,he just doesn't care at times. He has got Sam off his hands...so has got worst,and of course now this job abroad as come up.**

**At the moment,we are seeking to foster him,with maybe a view to adopt later. As a young couple going to having your own family, how would you feel about that?"**

**They had decided to be upfront about the miscarriage.**

**"We do want children" ****Amy said.**

**"In fact,I was pregnant,up to three weeks ago. I lost it!"**

**"Oh,I'm sorry about that." Jane said.**

**"That's not the reason we're doing this", Rory said.**

**""We would give Tom a loving home,he wouldn't be pushed aside if we had our own child...children"**

**"I believe you," Jane said **

**"Now I have to ask...Work...You're a solicitor,Rory?"_**

**He nodded at her.**

**"Can be long hours..long days I believe?" She continued.**

**Looking at Amy, Rory said.**

**"It can be,but there is time off as well...days can be quiet now and then."**

**"So you would be the main carer then Amy?"**

**"I would be if I was at home with a baby..."**

**"What,about your own career,you're a writer?"Jane said to her.**

**That could be put on hiatus,for as long as Tom needs me"**

**"Amy doesn't need to work,I make enough,for our needs but she chooses too" Rory added.**

**Jane was making notes on her pad,**

**Amy looking at Rory said.**

**"Would you like to see where Tom would sleep?"**

**Jane said.**

**"Of course" **

**following the couple upstairs.**

**"There are three bedrooms on this floor including ours.**

**We also have two upstairs in the attic thought Tom would like this one"**

**Amy opened the door to a large room on that floor.**

**It had a dormer window a bed,wardrobe,plenty of drawer and cupboard space.**

**"It needs somethings doing to it,but it has its own bathroom" Rory opening an adjoining door.**

**"Well,I think any little boy would be pleased to have this..." Jane said.**

**"You would get an allowance for looking after him,of course..."**

**"We wouldn't need anything," Amy said.**

**"It would be for any extras he might need" Jane continued.**

**"Could you could be ready to take him on Saturday?"**

**"You mean we can look after him?"**

**Rory said.**

**"Yes,"Jane said..."it is rather an emergency,but to give you time to prepare,we could keep him at the children's home a few more days.I will be in touch to make the arrangements.. I'm satisfied,he will be happy here."**

**By this time,they were back downstairs.**

**She shook hands with them both.**

**"Amy,Rory...it was very nice to meet you both,I will be in touch.I will see you all soon,yes?"**

**She walked down the path and got into her car,waved as she drove away.**

**Amy was in a daze has they went back into the lounge.**

**He looked at her saying...**

**"Hey...are you okay ? Amy?"**

**"We can look after him,even adopt him!" she said.**

**"Woe...slow down...let's not run before we can walk" **

**"Rory, oh my God..we are going to need things...we will have to go shopping...this afternoon so I can make a start on getting his room ready...What does an eight year old boy like? He might not even like cereal...might like rice krispies ...maybe chocolate biscuits..."**

**Rory shook his head in amusement,putting his arms round Amy kissing her said.**

**"Will you slow down! We will go shopping after lunch,I think Tom will eat most things,doesn't strike me as the fussy ****eater**** type, we will pick things up as we go along.. right...calm down!"**

**The door went then,and John and Clara came back in then with carrier bags of shopping...**

**"Got everything that was on the list...Pond including bananas..." He was surprised when Amy burst into tears and threw her arms round his neck!**

**"Amy...What!? Mind the eggs...!" Handing the bags over to Rory.**

**"I take it this means you're getting Tom then?"**

**When Rory nodded,he put his arms round Amy kissed her head saying...**

**Good job I got plenty Jammy Dodgers then..."**

**A/N**

**Good place to end this chapter...**

**Rory will be taking Amy shopping so**

**they can get ready for Tom.**

**Also,John will be going to see the Doctor.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Return to Love **

**Chapter 43**

**Rory and Amy had gone shopping for things for Tom.**

**They had never had a child that young to stay before,so Amy said they would need everything. **

**It wasn't just the food that he might like,there were things like new bedding and towels,to get as well.**

**Rory thought he might like Spiderman, so they got that on the duvet set for him.**

**There was also a visit to the toy store as well,to stock up on children's games, jigsaws and also of all things, a football! The one in the garden was still there,but Amy thought as Rory did that Tom should have his own. Besides John had bought one for the new baby,and it might be a girl!**

**Tomorrow was Wednesday,the day that Rory was taking John to see the Doctor at the hospital.**

**They were both nervous. John understandable so. **

**Amy was going to spend the day,while they were out getting the room ready for Tom.**

**Clara was going to help,and also as,a surprise for her (and John!) was going to do up the attic room next to Tom's for Daisy ready for when she came to visit for the wedding shopping. **

**They had secretly bought pink princess bedding,towels,everything in pink! She was sure Daisy was going love it!**

**John looked on with amusement as Amy came in with another pile of children's books and boxes of games putting them on the table,they nearly fell on top of him.**

**"Woe.! Pond are you sure you've got enough here"**

**He said grabbing at the boxes.**

**"Why,do you think we will need more," she said.**

**"For Rory and you? Oh the DVDS I left them in the car!"**

**Going back out the door,holding it open for Rory.**

**He staggered in with a box that contained a portable TV/player for Tom's bedroom.**

**Collapsing on to the nearest chair,he said hopefully.**

**"Coffee? Then you can help me put this up"**

**Pointing to the box.**

**"Why me?" John asked looking puzzled.**

**"Because you did ours when we moved in" Rory replied.**

**"And besides I don't know one end of a screwdriver from another!"**

**Clara laughed at John's face saying.**

**"Well,don't look at me. I can't change a plug"**

**"How did you manage before you met me then?"**

**"I got a man in,don't need one now do I?"_Clara her arms round him.**

**"Coffee"_? Rory was saying.**

**Clara gave John a final kiss,getting up.**

**"I'll put the kettle on"**

**"We also got him one of those racing car track things..." Rory was saying to John.**

**"Really?"_ said John with interest.**

**"Oh,no!" Amy coming back in with the DVDs.**

**"That's for next week when he's settled in"**

**"But, Pond. I'll be gone home then,not fair"**

**John pouted.**

**"Well you'll be here for the wedding shopping, you can play on it then,boys and your toys. It's for Tom"_**

**She said with her hands on her hips.**

**Clara was trying to keep a straight face,as Amy joined her in the kitchen.**

**"You were asking which one of us has the biggest kid?"**

**Amy shaking her head.**

**"Oh well,at lest it will keep them out of trouble while we're busy wedding shopping" **

**Clara raised her voice.**

**"They won't know how much we're spending!"**

**John said.**

**" I heard that!" Secretly though he wouldn't deny Clara anything.**

**Making the coffee Clara said,looking over at him sat quietly at the kitchen table.**

**"Amy,do you think he's alright?"_**

**Thinking of all the shocks and upsets he'd had over the last few days.**

**Amy looked over at him as well.**

**"Clara,he will be"_**

**She touched her hand.**

**"When he has been for the first appointment,and follows will be easier,Rory will look after him"**

**"I know. Amy. I keep saying. I._we can't thank you both enough for what you have done,especially for John,over the last month."**

**"And we keep saying ****both**** of us would do it ****again**** and ****again****...anything for Raggedy man.."Amy said.**

**"Right,breaks over,I want all this taking upstairs so Clara and I can get started tomorrow!" **

**Pointing to everything that was on the tables and chairs.**

**Rory groaned.**

**"Think,I'll go to the pub_"**

**"Actually,that's a good idea"**

**"I was only joking!"**

**Amy nodded her head at John,who was staring off into space.**

**"Talk to him" she said to him softly.**

**To John.**

** "When you've fixed the Tv/player, go for a drink with Rory, Raggedy man?"**

**"_What?"**

**John,looking up at the question.**

**"How about it,John? Do you fancy a drink before supper,when we finished upstairs?" Rory asked him.**

**"We have to be up early tomorrow" He said back to Rory,**

**"I know" He said looking at Amy.**

**"One won't hurt,a shandy,for me"**

**Your on the pills so orange juice,right?"**

**John gave him a look. Sensing his friend wanted to talk."Okay"**

**"Find me screwdriver,while I fix this"**

**Taking one end of the box with Rory.**

**Everything else was put in what was going to be,Tom's room.**

**"Wonder if we've got everything " Amy mused looking round.**

**"Bloody hell!" Rory said under his breath. John was grinning.**

**"Amy the shops will be open tomorrow if we need anything else!"**

**By this time,John had the Tv/player set up.**

**"Well,are we going for this drink then?" He said.**

**John had never seen Rory move so fast.**

**"Back in a couple of hours Pond,okay?"**

**"Fine,see you later"_**

**They both walked to the pub which was ten minutes on the High Street.**

**Rory went up to the bar.**

**"I'll get these, sit over there?"**

**He said pointing to a table near the window.**

**John walked over and sat was watching people coming and going up the High street.**

**Rory came back and put two glasses on the table.**

**"Cheers!"**

**Downing half of his shandy as he sat in the seat opposite John.**

**"Slow down!" John said.**

**Rory pulled a face,not being a,drinker not liking the taste over much.**

**"What is she going to be like by Saturday. Don't think Amy is going overboard do you? It's not going to be too much is it?"**

**"Too much?" John seemed puzzled.**

**"For Tom" Rory continued.**

**"To go from nothing to all this in his face.**

**We don't want to overwelm him"**

**"No..I don't think so" John said.**

**"This is what Pond needs after,well you know,and if it is too much for Tom,you can pull her back.I think he will realish the attention"**

**"You're sure?" **

**Rory said taking another drink of the shandy.**

**"God that's disgusting,think I went off booze after my stag party,do you remember?"**

**John grinned.**

**" When you got chained to that lamp post in the High Street"**

**"Time to get my own back?"**

**Rory smiled wickedly at him.**

**"Oh no way!" John said.**

** "Anyway,Clara will never forgive you if you lose me before the,wedding"**

**"Remember that Jack lost the key down the drain? Sorry"_**

**Looking away,Rory realised that it was the first time he had mentioned Jack since before the argument they'd had.**

**It had been a sore point.**

**"Don't worry about it mate."John started to smile.**

**"It was funny though,Jack with his head stuck down the grating"_**

**"Best place for him" Rory replied.**

**"Seriously,John,about tomorrow."He watched his face and could have kicked himself for the sudden change in him.**

**Putting his hand on John's arm.**

**"It will be okay"_**

**John sighed. **

**"Hope so,do I want to know?"**

**Rory opened his mouth to answer him... John said.**

**But I ****need**** to right?"_**

**Rory nodded.**

**"Sorry to bring it up"_**

**"Pond was worried!"John said looking at Rory.**

**"So is Clara,and that is why I'm doing this,for her!"**

**He drank the rest of his orange juice.**

**"Do you want another one?"**

**"God,no,.think I might be sick!" Rory pulled a face.**

**John looked at his,watch.**

**"Its time we were heading back anyway,Rory"**

**He said looking at him.**

**"Has long as you're there tomorrow I will be fine.**

**You can tell the girls I won't make a run for it! After the other day seeing my ****Dad**** I need to find out why I was frightened of him!"**

**"You remember that?" Rory said to him.**

**"Most of it is coming back...though some parts are hazy...I do remember breaking my arm though" Pulling his face in concentration trying to think.**

**"Well,that's good isn't it!"Rory exclaimed.**

**"Not that you broke your arm,but you remember it and what happened..Auntie said you came back the week before the accident with your arm in plaster.**

**She tells it that your Dad said you fell. Climbing on the writing desk,while you were playing"_**

**"Playing climbing on the writing desk!?" John looked incredulous at Rory.**

**"I wasn't allowed to play on it,and I knew it!"**

**He was rubbing his right arm subconsciously like the other day.**

**Then he heard.**

**"John. Come here you little,fucking,sod. I'll teach you to disobey me!"**

**John had gone white, his eyes glazed over.**

**"No,no. Daddy! I DIDN'T DO IT!"_**

**'Oh Christ!' thought Rory.**

**'Not here,not now'**

**It was partly his fault for talking about it to John!**

**Putting his arms,round John,who was nearly on the floor,shaking.**

**"Shush! John! it's okay"**

** John wasn't fighting him.**

**Come on,mate,it's_" Rory looked up.**

**"Is everything okay?" The woman who had served his drinks came over..."Is he ill, do you need me to call anyone?"**

**"R-Rory.I'm a-alright,just give me a minute"John was starting to come back to where he was.**

**"John, Oh thank goodness,could you just give him a moment,he fainted. if he could have a glass of water? Thanks"**

**The woman went away and came back with a glass,putting it on the table.**

**"If he could just have sometime,he will be alright in a moment." Rory was saying to the woman..****Please go away!**** He was thinking.**

**"Well,if you're sure,just call If you need anything"she walked back to the bar.**

**"Rory,did I?"**

**John was saying to him,he was now sat on the chair drinking the water...**

**"Did you what?"Rory said.**

**"Faint"_**

**Rory looked at him,he was getting his colour back now.**

**"No,but you did zone out on me for a while,like you did at your flat the other day!"**

**"Sorry" John was starting to look upset.**

**"Don't worry about it I think it was because we were talking about what happened"**

**John sighed."Bet you will be glad when I've gone home?"**

**"What,wouldn't have missed this month for anything," He patted his,hand. "And we still have the wedding to get through"**

**"Stop it,John..!"**

** He opened his mouth to say something else.**

**"Not a problem,keep telling you. Think you are ready to walk back?"**

**John stood up,he felt a little shaky,but not too bad,perhaps it was because he was remembering.**

**Rory was thanking the woman at the bar,giving her the glass back.**

**"Hope he is okay now,just a faint was It?"**

**"Something like that,"Rory said."Thanks again"**

**John just smiled,didn't explain. He hadn't the energy.**

**They walked back to the house.**

**The girls were sat in the lounge watching the television.**

**"Good,you're back,ready for supper?"Amy asked.**

**John went and sat down on the sofa,putting his head in his,hands.**

**The girls looked at Rory.**

**"Sweetheart?" Clara put a hand on his,shoulder"Are you okay? jumping slightly.**

**"Sorry,just tired.I ,I'm not really hungry.I will eat something later,do you mind if I go to bed?"**

**The girls looked from him. Rory shook his head at them,saying to John.**

**"If that's what you want, see you in the morning? Night John"**

**John kissed Clara, then walked out. The girls looked at Rory.**

**"Well he is worried about tomorrow" **

**He said. Answering one of their unspoken questions.**

**"Did you talk to him?"Amy asked.**

**"Yes,we talked,until he zoned out on me again"**

**Amy looked to Clara.**

**"In the middle of the pub,but it didn't seem to last long this,time"**

**"Was it his Dad?" Clara asked.**

**"Not sure,it could have been" Rory replied.**

**John thinks he's remembering"**

**Maybe it's a good thing" He shrugged.**

**I don't know. ****Perhaps Dr Barclay will be able to tell us something tomorrow"**

**"Do you want supper?"Amy asked.**

**"Please.I'm starving,we'll try and get John to eat something before we go tomorrow"**

**To Clara. Amy put a coffee In front of him.**

**"Oh that's great!" He said sipping it.**

**"I hate shandy"_**

**MEANWHILE**

**Upstairs John had gone to bed.**

**Perhaps it was because of the "turn" he had earlier,had gone into a deep sleep.**

**He was dreaming.**

**He was three years old, just after the had taken him to the hospital to make sure after cutting him out of the back of the car,that he wasn't hurt.**

**He was very,frightened,but alright.**

**He wanted Mummy,where was she!? **

**Daddy had been shouting at her again..if not at her he was shouting,or spanking him,.even when he'd done nothing wrong.**

**Curled up,on the bed,nursing his right arm that was in a plaster cast.**

**Trying to remembered the conversation just before.**

**Daddy had been shouting at Mummy.**

**"Don't think,you're passing that bastard off as mine"**

**He was saying.**

**"Course it's your baby.I haven't seen him in over a year,I would never do that to you Mike"**

**Touching his arm.**

**"Well,he isn't mine"**

**Pointing to back to John who was cowering in his seat.**

**"WE know where he came from,the little bastard!**

**You don't want a brother or sister.**

**DO YOU..DO YOU!"**

**He was screaming at John,not watching the road.**

**" No no don't want one"_!**

**John was,screaming.**

**"Send it back! send it back! Mummy!"**

**"John,you don't mean that!.Mike,watch the road!**

**John..baby!"**

** She was trying to pacify John as the car came out of nowhere.**

**She screamed as they hit the car in front.**

**Then,it was all quiet.**

**"****MUMMY****!" John was screaming,tears pouring down his cheeks..."****MUMMY****! Want..."**

**The bedroom light came on.**

**"Rory,he's not here!" Said a voice.**

**"Where is he?"**

**" Down here near the window,must be having a nightmare,got out of bed. John,come on you're dreaming"**

**Rory was trying to calm him down.**

**" Ouch that hurt! Bloody hell! John!"**

**John was fighting with him,as a three year old bit Rory!**

**"No!.no,leave me alone" in a petulant voice.**

**"Want Mummy!"She was in the car,it crashed! Mummy!"**

**"Rory,can't you do something?!" This was from Clara.**

**"Christ. I'm trying, I've never seen him this bad.I might have to get the Doctor if I can't,let me try something"**

**John was still crying hysterically for his Mum.**

**Trying to get away from Rory.**

**" Want my Mummy!"_Go way"**

**"John,its Rory's Daddy"**

**He looked at the girls,hoping this works,as I've nothing else..He was stroking John's head.**

**"Come on,we are going to look after you,make it all better"**

**"My arm,he hurt my arm!"_**

**John was sobbing,rubbing his arm again.**

**Rory looked at the girls. **

**"Who did,John? Who hurt you?" He swallowed already knowing the answer,but wanted to hear John say it.**

**"Daddy did,he smacked me,pushed me over,bent my 'my arm' back not a naughty boy.I'm not ..not! What's a bastard?" **

**Rory drew his breath in,at the sudden question.**

**Did someone call you that,John?"**

**"Daddy did before he crashed the car.**

**Said.. said I was one,and the baby as well!"**

**"Course you're not!" Rory said,kissing him on the head.**

**"Are you going to go back to bed for me now?"John was yawning,appeared to be to be calming down.**

**"Want to play" Yawned.**

**"With Rory"**

**"Rory smiled at that.**

**" 'Bedtime now,come on let's get you back to**** bed...no one is going to hurt you ever again.!"**

**Putting John back in bed,they left the lamp on,he was asleep before they even got to the door..**

**Leaving the door,ajar they went back downstairs.**

**"Rory are you alright?" Amy asked him."he bit you didn't he?"**

**"Hmm!"it's okay.**

**He was just scared.**

**...had cause to be don't you think?**

**It all seems to be coming out now,because of this**** appointment,What a bloody mess!" **

**Clara was sat quietly,then she said.**

**"How could he hurt him,his own child!"she burst into tears.**

**Rory went and put his arms round her.**

**"N-no wonder It-It upset him,Daisy being called that..." she couldn't say the word...**

**"I don't think it was anything sexual"Rory said.**

**"for some reason he bullied John,not sure why yet,do you know how frightening that would be to a three year old.**

**"We need to figure this out,I mean the grown up John knows what that word means,but to a three year old child,it's a naughty word"**

**"Daisy was being called that at school,the day she met John,because she hadn't got a Daddy"**

**"Oh,Clara",said Amy " she has now"...**

**"I know," Clara said wiping her eyes.**

**"it hurts because of what he went through,is going through now!"**

**"What are you going to do Rory?"asked Amy.**

**"Not sure yet,"He replied "Lots depends on how he is tomorrow,hope to God he doesn't have any more nightmares tonight.I'm running out of ideas"**

**He was walking up and down the room. Pausing.**

**"I mean how long can I keep telling him I'm my Dad?"**

**"Well it works"Amy replied.**

**"I think other than that we would have to have got the Doctor,and you know how he feels about that! Why don't you go to bed,Rory it's after ten..you have to be up in the morning to go with him!"**

**Rory rubbed his eyes,**

**"I am tired,but I can't...I need to work this,out before tomorrow." He sat down at the table.**

**Amy said "I'll make some coffee"looking at Clara.**

**"Why don't you go to bed?"**

**Clara sighed, " I don't think I can rest,but I will go check on him...cup of tea would be nice though"**

**Clara went upstairs,after using the bathroom,she checked on John.**

**He was on his side of the bed.**

**"Mummy!" muttered turning over.**

**"Hush" She covered him up,kissed his head." It's okay,sweetheart! I love you!"**

**Back downstairs,Rory was sat at the table,drinking coffee.**

**Amy put a tea in front of Clara,as she sat on the sofa.**

**"Thanks," she said sipping it." He's still asleep"**

**"Good",said Rory."Now Auntie was saying John's mum had an affair,then got pregnant with the baby"**

**"She did say it was a year after though"Amy commented "John's Dad was still accusing her then of the baby not being his,remember what she said?"**

**Rory nodded,"you can sort of understand him calling the baby that word,even though I think he was a nasty piece of work,but why call John that?"**

**"Do you think,Ragedy Man could have been adopted?" Amy asked.**

**"Hadn't thought of that,"Rory said," but hasn't he got a likeness to Auntie,that could have been from her sisters side,maybe?"**

**"My Dad commented on it when they met a few weeks ago"**

**Clara said," He thought John was her 'son' because of the likeness..."Oh, my God,you don't think,could she have..."**

**Soon as she said the word. Looked to the other two..**

**"Maybe,that,the answer"Rory said"I'm going to have to ask her...even if she never talks to me again"!**

**"Rory...are you sure?"Amy asked.**

**He rubbed his eyes. **

**God...he was tired!**

**"Amy,we could go round and round in circles and still come back to this.**

**If it is right,we need to know...he needs to know,I will ring her in the morning! The appointment isn't until eleven.**

**"What if you are right,Rory?" Clara commented."Do we tell him.!..How do we tell him?"**

**" For once,I hope I'm wrong!" H****e said,**

**"because it ****might**** ruin lots of lives. and if he is her son...perhaps she didn't want him to know? Oh God! I'm going to bed...I need to think! I'll see you both in the morning"**

**A/N**

**Oh dear...things keep going wrong don't they?**

**John is finding things out about what happened in his childhood.**

**Rory,Amy and Clara?,Will they help him put things together?**

**Next chapter Rory confronts Auntie over John and he will see the Doctor at the hospital.**

**Please read and reviews would be nice.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 44**

**Rory didn't sleep very well that night,he tossed and turned thinking about what had happened in the last 24 hours.**

**He was up six, apologising to Amy,he had kept her from sleep as well.**

**She kissed him. Her arms round him.**

**"Are you going to ring Auntie soon?"**

**"Amy,we need to know,if I'm wrong the worst I'll get is an ear bashing,a telling off for the cheek of it.! But"**

**"If you're right" She continued.**

**"It could alter lots of things,especially for John"**

**Rory got out of bed.**

**"I have never wanted to be more wrong In my life" He said.**

**"I'm going to have a shower. I'll ring Auntie about eight,why don't you go back to sleep?"**

**"You're joking!" Amy replied. Starting to get out of bed as well.**

** "I'll never sleep again until I know. I'll go and make you some breakfast,it's going to be a long day for you one way or another"**

**Rory pulled a face at his,wife.**

**_ "Don't give me that face,Rory"**

**Putting on her dressing gown.**

**"You look like Raggedy Man when he's in one of his moods,go shower,I'll see you downstairs"**

**"Yes Miss!" Rory replied, as he went off to the bathroom.**

**Amy found Clara in the kitchen drinking tea at the table.**

**"Didn't think you would have been up yet,it was quite late when you went to bed" She said.**

**"Not really slept" Clara answered her.**

**"Is Rory awake?"**

**"Shower,he wants to ring Auntie as soon as he thinks she be in her office. How's John this morning?"**

**"Still asleep,think it exhausted him,the nightmare he had,it must be really taking it out of him,not knowing. One minute he's a grown-up,then he's back to being three again"**

**"I know" Amy replied.**

**"Hope Rory knows what he's doing asking Auntie about her past even if he's right about this,it's going to alter things especially for John"**

**Rory came in then,smiled brightly at Clara said.**

**"Morning. Are you okay?"**

**"Not really,but I have to be for John" She smiling back.**

**"Clara,I think this is the right thing to do,if I don't say anything and it all comes out later,how's he going to feel if we knew and he didn't?"**

**"I know,Rory. Damed if you do,damed if you don't?" **

**She sighed.**

**"Do you want me to keep him out the way?"**

**"I'll be in the office anyway" He said.**

**Thinking this was going to be a hard conversation,without John over hearing.**

**"Well just in case then_**

**Nearly eight,think Auntie will be up?"**

**"She will be in her office by now.**

**Clara,said.**

**"Always before seven,I'll leave you to it then,go and see if John's awake"**

**Clara went up to the bedroom,John was just starting to stir.**

**He stretched,yawned.**

**"_Clara_what time is it?"**

**"Just gone eight,I brought you a coffee sweetheart"**

**She put the cup down on the table next to John's side of the bed.**

**"Thanks_"**

**John sat up,picked It up took a sip,he looked puzzled.**

**"Did something happen" He asked her,looking over the cup at her.**

**"Like what?" she wondered..**

**"Not sure" Looking over to the window then.**

**"I have a vision of being on the floor over there_Oh my God_!"**

**He sat up.**

**"I bit Rory!_I remember_" He started to get out bed."I need to go and say sorry to him,is he up?"**

**"I think he's in the shower" _ Thinking fast_**

**Clara ****knew he would be on the phone to Auntie in the office,by now the conversation he would be having with her about John!**

**"Tell you what,why don't you wait until you go down for breakfast_Rory doesn't blame you,John,he knows you were having a nightmare.**

**We're surprised you remember it"**

**"I'm remembering lots of things,it's giving me some headaches"**

** Sitting back on the bed rubbing his temples,looking up_**

**"Hang on,we're you there?"**

**"Yes" Coming to sit on the bed next to him,putting her arms round him.**

**"You had just woken up,and were scared.**

**Rory doesn't blame you it was just a reaction.**

**It was sort of funny"_**

**"CLARA!"**

**John looked scandalised at first,then said.**

**"Was it really?"**

**Clara giggled. Trying to make him feel better.**

**"How many people can get to bite their best friend? Look,Rory should have finished in the shower now,have yours and then you can go and say sorry to him alright?"**

**She kissed him,got off the bed and started to tidy the room.**

**John shook his head,but headed for the bathroom.**

**Meanwhile**

**Rory was sat at the desk in his office,taking a deep breath,he picked up the phone.**

**'Well' He thought. 'Here goes'**

**It rang three times,before it was answered.**

**"Mary Drew"**

**"Hello Auntie,it's Rory"**

**"Rory?"**

** Auntie seemed puzzled."I thought you were ringing me this evening?" Then. "Is John okay?"**

**"Don't panic,he's fine" **

**'Well I think he is' Thought Rory.'Haven't seen him since he bit me last night'**

**Shaking his head at that memory.**

**"He's had a couple more nightmares since I last spoke to you.**

**About his Dad,Mum and also one last night about the car crash.**

**That one was pretty bad. Did think I might have to call the Doctor out at one point!"**

**"Oh,Rory what are we going to do?"**

**Auntie sounded so upset.**

**"Are you still taking him to see Dr Barclay today?"**

**"Yes,I think he should still see him" **

**Rory replied.**

**"He needs to talk about things. I need to ask you something,though I hope you won't hate me for this"_**

**"What is it,Rory?"_**

**"Is ****John your son?" **

**He asked,before his courage deserted him_**

**Auntie had gone quiet at her end.**

**"Auntie,are you still there?"**

**" How_did you_know?"**

**She said in a quiet voice.**

**"So _it's true then? We worked it out Amy,Clara and me"**

**"Does John know?" she asked him.**

**"Rory I'd like to explain why I did this,what happened,when John was a baby.**

**"No, John doesn't know. I think that maybe he should.**

**It's not our place to tell. That's up to you Auntie"**

**"I've wanted to tell him since after the accident,when I became his legal Guardian.**

**Then he went to live with you and your Dad when he became a handful and I couldn't cope with him"**

**"Yes" Rory said remembering that time.**

**"Then,has he got older,there never seemed to be the right time to tell him. We had got back such a good relationship by then,suppose I didn't want to rock the boat."**

** She sighed.**

** "I think he should know. Its time.**

** I will come down tonight,about eight?I can tell him then,I will tell you all what happened I just hope John will forgive me!"**

**She sounded so tearful.**

**"Auntie,how will you get here,John has your car?"**

**"I'll come on the train,I can stay at the hotel in the High street overnight" she replied.**

**"No you won't!"****He said.**

**"We can put you up for one night.I'll just tell Amy and Clara you're coming,I'll tell John later this evening. When we get back from seeing the Doctor.**

**We'll see you later,Auntie,bye for now"**

**"Bye,Rory dear"**

**Auntie sounded so defeated.**

**Putting down the phone,he put his head in his hands.**

**'So much for being wrong!'**

**Getting up,he went into the kitchen.**

**Amy and Clara were sat at the table.**

**"Where's John?" He asked.**

**"In the shower" Clara said.**

**Amy put a coffee in front of him as he sat down.**

**Both of them looking at him.**

**"Well it's true. Auntie is coming to see him tonight to tell him.**

**In fact she wants to tell us all!" **

**To Amy_**

**"I said we would put her up tonight,okay?"**

**Amy nodded.**

**Taking a good drink of his coffee,said.**

**"Right, the plan. I will still take John to see Dr Barclay.**

**Auntie is coming at eight,I don't want John to know that,I will tell him when we get back. Agreed?"**

**Both girls nodded at him. They knew he had to keep John calm.**

**Then John came in.**

**" Morning,how about some breakfast?"**

** Rory said brightly to him,when he pulled his face. Shook his head.**

** "Come on you had nothing last night,some toast?"**

**"No,thanks,just a coffee.I feel sick!"**

**Rory just looked at the girls,but let it go,didn't push it.**

**'Bloody hell! It's going to be a long day!' He thought**

**"Rory"_**

**"Yes,what?" He said.**

**"I'm sorry I bit you last night" **

**Rory who was on his way out to his office turned back round in astonishment.**

**_"John,you remember that!?"**

**Looked at Amy and Clara.**

**"Its hazy,but the memories are there"**

**John continued rubbing his temple again.**

**"I had a nightmare,about my parents? The car crash? Ow!"**

**"John,sweetheart,are you alright?"**

**Clara asking him.**

**"Its just a headache"**

**Still rubbing his,forehead.**

**"It will pass,can I have some paracetamol please?"**

**"I'll get you a couple"**

**Rory said going back too the office,not that he didn't trust John, he had been keeping them under lock and key since the threatened overdose.**

**"Here you go"**

**Handing them over with a glass,of water to John.**

**"What time do we have to leave,to see this Doctor?"**

**"Well it's nine now,say in about half an hour"Rory replied.**

**"Your appointment isn't till eleven,but to allow for the traffic,we should get there for ten thirty okay?"**

**"Fine.I'll just go and sit in the garden,shout when you're ready"**

** Turning to go.**

**"John,sweetheart" Clara said.**

**" I'm fine,Clara_" He snapped..**

**Closed his eyes in frustration,he went up to Clara hugging her.**

**"I'm sorry,didn't mean that,just want to be on my own for a while,okay?"**

**Clara touched his face.**

**"That's alright,John I just wanted you to know how much I love you"**

**She said tearfully.**

**"Everything will be alright won't it? You will try not to get upset?"**

**"I'll try. I'm sorry I shouted at you, don't cry! Look,it's just this first appointment,once we're back home,together with Daisy It will all be back to normal again"**

**John wiped the tears off her cheek,and then walked out through the patio doors into the garden She saw him sit down on one of the garden chairs,then felt Rory come up behind her...**

**"Will things be normal once Auntie tells him,Rory?" she said.**

**He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her on the head..**

**"I don't really know what is going to happen,Clara...how he will take what she will tell him.**

**All we can do,is be there for him"**

**"Oh,Always!" she replied.**

**Amy came in with a pile of bedding,**

**"I will make the other attic room up next to Tom's for Auntie,is that okay?"**

**she asked Rory.**

**"Fine," He replied "There is no reason she should have to stay in a hotel. John's ****Auntie****...he paused" or his ****Mother****,she's still family...right!"**

**He looked at the girls,they both nodded at him.**

**"Rory,you do realise,he has eaten nothing since this time yesterday?"**

**Clara said to him.**

**"I know,but I can't force him"**

**"It's only because of where we're going,tell you what,I will take him for lunch after even if it's only a sandwich"**

**He shuddered.**

**"But no beer_yuck!"**

**Amy smiled at that.**

**"Good idea,stupid face!**

**You will try and ring us? Let us know how he gets on?"**

**"If I can"_**

**He replied. Looking at his watch.**

**"Best go and get him,time to go"**

** He walked over to the patio doors.**

** "John! Time to go mate!" **

**"Coming_"**

**10****.****25am**

**Rory parked the car on the car park at Chelsea Hospital.**

**John had been mostly quiet on the journey had answered most of Rory's questions with either yes, no...or a shrug of his shoulders.**

**"Well...!"Rory said,"I hope you are going to be more talkative than this with Dr Barclay,or it will be a waste of time coming"**

**"Hmm...what..." said John looking up..."Did you say something,Rory?"**

**"For goodness sake, John! Will you try and focus for once"**

**He gripped the steering wheel with both hands.**

**"Sorry,mate I didn't mean I'm slightly on edge too,though I should be here for you.I don't mean to get at you!"**

**John looked up."Rory,it's fine.I'm fine"He smiled.**

**"Come on"Rory said.**

**"We've got to find Dr Barclays office"**

**Getting out the car,they both walked towards reception.**

**The woman on the desk there said.**

**"Good morning,can I help you?"**

**"John Smith.11am with Dr Barclay" Rory smiled at her.**

**Smiling back said.**

**"Down this corridor,first door on the right,just knock and enter,his receptionist should be there"**

**"Thank you"Rory replied.**

** "Come on,John"**

**Following the directions,they came to a door that said."Dr DO Barclay 'Psychologist'**

**"Not a nut-job!" said John under his breath.**

**Rory hearing that_**

**"Its just to talk, John that's all"**

**Putting his hand on his shoulder. He knocked on the door,then.**

**"Come in" S****aid a voice.**

**Going in there was a young lady sat at the desk looking at some files.**

**"Hello...can I help?"smiling at them both.**

**"John Smith, to see Dr Barclay" Rory said.**

**"Well, which of you is that?"**

**"He is" Rory continued,"I'm just here for moral support."**

**"I see, I will just tell the Doctor you are here."**

**Going into the inner office,Rory was surprised when a man with grey hair and thick eye brows came dashing out...**

**"Ah,John! nice to meet you at last,so you have brought your friend with you...good! good!"**

**While saying that he was shaking Rory's hand up and down like mad ...to John's amusement.**

**"No...No.."**

**Said Rory trying to pull his,hand away couldn't quite get a word in edgeways. **

**"OTHER WAY ROUND" He finally shouted to him.**

** This is John"Pushing a grinning John In front of him.**

**"I'm Rory_"**

**"The Doctor sat on the desk in front of them both.**

**"I see you have known each other a long time?"**

**"About thirty years" Rory looking to John.**

**John nodded and said. "Yes"_**

**"The way I work is a little unconventional John.I have to ask you if you would agree to it?**

** That you have brought Rory with you today,it might get to the route of your problems quicker,maybe?"**

**John looked at Rory wondering where this was,leading.**

**"If you are agreeable,John,I would talk to Rory first in my office,he can tell me something's about you.I have read the report about what has happened to you,about the death of your wife,the breakdowns,then you can tell me your side. Any problem with that?"**

**"John shook his head.**

**"I don't mind,long as Rory doesn't!"**

**Rory said."I've no problem with it"**

**" Coffee first,then we can do an half hour session each starting with Rory"**

**Turning to his receptionist.**

**Carol,can you organise that please,I will be in my office"**

**"Certainty, Doctor"**

**Has he disappeared into the next room she picked up the phone saying,**

**"Don't worry,he might seem a bit eccentric,but he does get results"**

**Rory just looked dumbfounded.**

**John was still grinning.**

**When Rory had found his voice again,said to John.**

**"Suppose you thought that was funny?"**

**"Hilarious" John replied."Never met a Doctor like that before!"**

**Rory hoped that by this time tonight,he was still in this frame of mind,and more to the point,was still talking to him! Especially after Auntie had been to see him.**

**Dr Barclay poked his head out of the office then.**

**"Ready when you are Rory,bring your coffee with you" **

**Then went back in just as quick.**

**Before Rory could open his mouth,he got up.**

**"Oi,don't you be giving to many of my secrets away" said John.**

**"Oh,shut-up!_"**

**He replied back,wondering what he was,getting into.**

** "The things I do for you"_**

**Putting his tongue out at him,went in the office and shut the door.**

**Dr Barclay was sat at his desk,feet up,notebook on his knees.**

**"Don't mind me taking notes,do you Rory? !"**

**There only seemed to be a couch,which was behind him,in front of the desk...**

**"Lie-down if you would like"**

**The Doctor continued.**

**"Er, ****no ****thanks****," Rory said "Sittings fine"**

**John was right,he had never met a Doctor like this either! Talking of nut-jobs!?**

**'Stop it Rory. concentrate!' Was saying to himself.**

**"Now,Rory,do you want to tell me when you first met John?"**

**Rory screwed his face up in concentration.**

**"Well,it wasn't exactly meeting him,we sort of knew each other before...we were born in the same town Leadworth... Played together,in fact if I remember,didn't like him all that much at first"**

**"Oh"said Dr Barclay...**

**"Do you mind me asking Why?"**

**Rory shrugged.**

**"Amy,she's my wife,now,when we were little,use to look after him more than me. **

**Suppose ****I was jealous. Seems silly now"**

**Pausing then looking over at the Doctor.**

**"Hang on! How is this going to help John? Analysing me?"**

**"All roads lead. Rory,carry on,tell your story"**

**"Well" Rory continued.**

**"The three of us use to play together,when his Dad would let him,then there was the accident,and he moved down here to London to live with his Aunt,it wasn't working out,so he sort of came back home in a way_"**

**Flash-back**

**Rory was sat on the swing in his back garden,he hated the school holidays,there was no one to play with.**

**Amy was away with her parents at the moment.**

**She wouldn't be back for two whole days,that was a life time for a four year old!**

**"Rory!"**

**His Dad was calling for him,suddenly he appeared at the bottom of the garden,holding by the hand,wasn't that John? Who use to come and play with him and Amy? Getting down from the swing,went over to them.**

**"There you are" Brian said to him.**

**"Why are you here! thought that you lived in London now?" Rory said resentful.**

**John pulled back on Brian's hand, his lip quivered.**

**"Rory! stop that,be nice! your better than that...now John is going to be staying with us for awhile.I want you and Amy when she comes back to look after him..okay?"**

**"Why?"_**

**"Never mind,why! You show him where everything is.**

**He's going to have the room next to yours,do you good to think of someone other than yourself,my lad!" Brian said.**

**"I have to go to work.**

**Granny will give you your supper,I will be back by bed time"**

**He kissed Rory,patted John on the head,then walking down the path.**

**Rory looked at John,he looked different than when,he had last seen him,in fact,looked as though he needed a good wash,also his hair needed it as well and cutting.**

**"Come on,I'll show you where the bathroom is"**

**Rory tried to take his hand.**

**"No!"_**

**John pulled away from him.**

**"Want to go home! Want Mummy! "**

**Then he burst into tears.**

**At that moment,Rory's heart went out to him.**

**He took his hand again,this time John let him.**

**"It will be ****okay****.I haven't got a Mummy either. My Dad will look after you. So will me and Amy,you remember Amy? We played on the swings together?"**

**John nodded.**

**By that night they were firm friends,John had his first nightmare and started calling ****Brian ****Daddy****.**

**Present Time**

**"Amy came back from her hoilday a couple of days later and started to "Mother"him again...she was calling him "Raggedy Man" by then.I think it was her that eventually got him to wash and go to school,though the name still sticks today...even calls her "Pond" her maiden name...still."**

**He smiled at the memories.**

**"Do you mind,Rory?" Dr Barclay asked him.**

** "About Amy?"**

**"Mind? Not at all"**

**"He's my best friend,Our best friend" He corrected.**

**" hate anyone who hurts him! Think I was jealous the first time round because I had just lost my Mum before John.**

**We only found out days ago that his Dad had been hurting him.**

**This trauma with his wife,the nightmares that had gone years ago have come back,with a vengeance.**

**It's ruining the new life he had made with Clara"**

**"Clara? That's his new partner,isn't it?"He has only know her about two months hasn't he?"**

**"What difference does that make? Their in love, having a baby.."**

**Rory looked upset. **

**"This could be the making of John ,if we can find out what or who is causing this"**

**"That is John's business,not mine,Rory..I'm not judging him"**

**The Doctor continued. "I'm just here to help find out what happened in his childhood. It is good you are such good friends.**

**Pausing something on his pad,looking over again to Rory.**

**If you want a break..and I'll talk to John?"**

**"Sure"_**

**Rory got up and walked to the door,turning back said.**

**"Your methods are unconventional?"**

**"Do you mind me saying something?"**

**"Not at all,Rory!" He replied.**

**"John can be obstinate at the best of times,if you want him to do something it's best to go the opposite way"**

**"I bow to your thirty years experience and friendship will you will ask him to come in?"**

**Opening the door,Rory went into the outer office.**

**John shot up from the chair he was sitting on.**

**"You're Turn!" Rory said.**

**"Bloody hell,Rory, What have you been doing in there..you've been an hour!"**

**"Have I ?"**

**Looking at his watch.**

**'Blimey'he thought,'so I have'**

**Looking to John reminded of the frightened little boy he had been talking to Dr Barclay about.**

**Taking him by the shoulders,Rory didn't see**

**Dr Barclay was watching them from the door.**

**Their interaction.**

**"John,will you calm down,it's fine,all you need to do is talk,you'll enjoy it.I did. I need the loo"**

**He went towards the office door.**

**"You're not going!?"**

**John was starting to panic.**

**Rory turned back towards his friend,who was starting to follow him.**

**"Look,what have I said about getting worked up? I'm only going down the corridor,with the best will in the world,John.**

** I can't sit here for an hour with my legs,****crossed****! When you come out.I will be back,promise"**

**John didn't look so sure,but nodded, went into the office,shutting the door.**

**John's talk**

**"Come in John.**

**Do you want to lie down on my sofa?"**

**"Did Rory?"**

**"No,no,if you want the offers there!"**

**"No thanks,then"**

** John sat on the end of the sofa.**

**"Now,John,I would like you to tell me,how you met Rory?"**

**"Hasn't Rory told you?" He asked.**

**"Some of it,but I'd like to hear it from your point of view,Maybe you could tell me from when you were in the car,after the accident?"**

**He was watched John's face,it was white,but he seemed to be holding it together.**

**"Okay"He said.**

**"I had been taken to hospital,there was not a mark on me"**

**John's flashback**

**John was lay on the bed in the children's ward.**

**His right arm was in plaster,was hugging it too him Was still not sure how he had done it,Daddy had told Mummy and Auntie,he had been climbing and jumping from the writing desk.**

**He didn't remember that, did remember the spanking he got for it through!**

**All of a sudden,Auntie,dashed in the suit she wore for when she was in court sessions.**

**"John, thank God your okay!"**

**She was hugging and kissing him,squeezing all the breath out of him.**

**John kept saying he wanted Mummy and and asking where's she was.**

**In the end she explained that Mummy and Daddy had gone to heaven John tearfully asked.**

**"Could Mummy not come back,as he loved her and wanted her,they could keep Daddy,as he did not like him!"**

**Auntie reply 'was he must not say things like that.**

**He went home to live at Auntie's.**

**Because,he wanted Mummy and didn't understand what was going on,he was playing her up something awful.**

**John didn't understand that she was grieving too,trying to hold down her job,and look after him.**

**He then just refused to get out of bed,eat,sleep,get washed go to school.**

**She was at the end of her teather when Rory's Dad offered to take him.**

**It was suppose to only be for a short time, In the end the arrangement worked for all of them. It lasted 14 years and he got on better with her after that,until he met Sue.**

**"Can I stop you there and ask about Sue?**

**Did you love her?"**

**Dr Barclay asked him.**

**John looked up.**

**"Rory asked me that a few weeks ago,just after I met Clara,I'm still not sure what the answer was.**

**Now of course, No,because I love Clara and my baby,also Daisy"**

**He smiled.**

**"Daisy?"**

**"Clara's daughter,She's my world as well,now!"**

**"I see,then why did you get yourself arrested two weeks ago?"**

**"Dr Barclay suddenly asked. **

**"You also threatened to take an overdose,just after_"**

**John looked up startled.**

**"Who told you Rory? That was private between us"**

**He stood up quickly.**

**"I'm not listening to this"**

**"John,wait I'm sure_"**

**Was as far as Dr Barclay got as John rushed to,flung open the office door.**

**Rory who had just come back in from using the bathroom down the corridor looked up startled.**

**"John! what the! what's the matter?"**

**"You are. Rory Williiams I thought you were my friend? I'm never trusting you ever again.I want to go! NO MORE!"**

**Pushing past his friend.**

**He rushed towards the outer office door.**

** Rory grabbed for him.**

**"John wait,what am I suppose to have done?"**

**"Rory,let go of me or I swear I will hit you!"**

**"No you won't!"**

**He said back to John,who was stood glaring at him,white with fury!**

**"John I will let go,if you come back in to Dr Barclays office and tell me what I've done? Calm down. Please! alright? I'm letting go!"**

**Rory,put his hands up in the air,to show he meant it.**

**John walking back into Dr Barclays office,sat down on the sofa.**

**"Now"_**

**Rory said stood in front of him with his arms folded.**

**"What am I supposed to have said or done to upset you?"**

**"I'm afraid it was my fault"**

**Dr Barclay said. **

**"I mentioned about John getting arrested and the attempted overdose,a couple of weeks ago.**

**They are on his medical records,so You must have told Dr David?"**

**"I could have done,I'm sorry John,it might have been when you were sick a few weeks back,when we had to sort out your pills"Rory replied.**

**He knew John was still upset over being arrested.**

**The attempted overdose,but he needed to talk about these things,to the Doctor.**

**"In fact I think before you go today,we should discuss your medication,John okay?"**

**John nodded,and Rory sat down next to him.**

**"Now,I need you to be honest with me, has John had mood swings,flying off the handle like today,****delusions?"**

**"Well"**

**Said,Rory, looking at John who had gone quiet. Looking away from them both.**

**"He has had some mood swings,delusions and other problems has been sort of half remembering things from before his parents died,we're not sure what to make of it.**

**Do you want to say anything to the Doctor?"**

**John looked back at them both,shrugged.**

**"Okay"**

**Dr Barclay said.**

**"I can alter his medication,that will help,now I've met him and know what's,happening to him,but"**

**"What"Rory asked.**

**"I think he would benefit from a few more sessions with me,how would you feel about hypnosis,John? it might uncover the deeper problem that's causing this?"**

**"But I'm getting married in eight weeks" John said.**

**"You still can" Rory said.**

** "This need not stop you,right,Doctor?"**

**"Not at all,something to look forward to.**

**Now how,about another appointment next week for the hypnosis session,would evening,be better for you both? Seven pm, a week okay with you?"**

**"John? That's fine with me,I'll be back at work,you'll be back home,with Clara.**

**They have been staying with us,for the last Month"**

**Rory told Dr Barclay.**

**"Amy and I are going to be fostering a little boy from Saturday"**

**John looked at them both.**

**"Rory,you're going to be busy with Tom,I can come on my own"**

**"No,I will come" Rory said.**

**"Its an evening appointment,it's not a problem"**

**"John" the Doctor said.**

**"I won't use the hypnosis if your here on your own,I am trained in it,but I always have some one here for emergency. **

**Anyway think that should do for today. It's nearly one so I will see you both,a week today at seven,okay?"**

**He handed Rory,the prescription for John's medication.**

**"This should help the mood swings,you might sleep a little better,John.**

**Less nightmares"**

**He stood,up.**

**"Well it was nice to meet you both,and I will try my best to help you John"**

** He smiled,"I'm sorry I had to ask such awkward questions.**

**"That's alright I'm sorry I flew off the handle"**

**He shook hands with the Doctor.**

**"See you next week"**

**He stood up and walked towards the door,Rory went to follow him,but Dr Barclay stopped him.**

**"You may find the new meds may make him drowsy for a few hours.**

**This is normal"**

**Looking after John.**

**"He needs to calm down and get some sleep.**

**I also want him on them before his next appointment.**

**You can phone me if there are any problems"**

**Handing him a card with his number on.**

**Rory didn't comment other than.**

**"Thanks Doctor"**

**Both headed for the car park.**

**"Lunch"_**

**Rory said to him," then you can have one of these" waving the prescription at him.**

**"You can have a shandy if you like!"**

**John said wickedly to him.**

**"Ugh,no definitely,not. Anyway,I'm driving,thank God!"**

**When they were both sat in a cafe in the High Street with a sandwich and orange juice each,John said too him.**

**"Rory,I'm sorry I threatened to punch you before"**

**He looked down at the remains of what was on his plate,then looked back up at him.**

**"I wouldn't have you know,it's just I seem to be getting so upset lately,as these feelings about my Dad seem to be coming out more.I'm taking it out on you,Clara even"_**

**Rory put his hand on John's arm,he pushed a pill towards him.**

**"You heard what Dr Barclay said John,the new meds will help.**

**Why don't you take this,then we can go home and tell the girls what's happened? We can see how,Amy's getting on with the room for Tom,right?"**

**John nodded and yawned.**

**"You look as though you could do with a nap as well"**

**Rory continued.**

**He thought,**

**'Once Auntie tells him later,he still might want to punch me then!'**

**A/N**

**Good place to end this chapter?**

**They are,on their way home now,**

**Will,Rory find a way to tell him about**

**Aunties visit? How will John take it when she**

**does tell him she's his mother?**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	45. Chapter 45

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 45**

**By the time they got back to the house it was nearly three.**

**John was asleep in the passenger seat!**

**As Rory pulled up on to the ****drive way****,he wondered how he was going to get John upstairs,to his bed.**

**The new meds were that powerful! **

**Getting out and going round to John side of the car,he opened the door.**

**"John," he said,"We're home,come on mate...bed time" he tapped him lightly on the face.**

**John opened his,eyes bleary,**

**"Hmmm, Rory...What," he slurred."Go away," his eyes closed again."five more minutes!"**

**Shaking his head,Rory reached into the car and put John's arm round his neck,his arm round his waist.**

**"No come on,you can have as many minutes as you like when I get you up to your bed" he said.**

**He pulled him up and out from the seat,slamming the door with his hip.**

**"Rory...!"John had half opened his eyes again.**

**"What?"**

**"My legs won't work!"**

**"Yes they will...don't you dare John! if you go I will as well...think walking...move it! Go!"**

**Rory managed to get him as far as the front door. He was holding John up,so couldn't reach into his pocket for his key, he did the only thing he could. Leaned on the door bell...which kept ringing...and ringing.**

**"Come on...Amy! Come on!"**

**The door was suddenly flung open by a very irate wife!**

**"What's going on..!?"Noticing her husband holding up John. "Rory! What!?"**

**"Little help here please" he said nearly on the floor with John, "Explain later..."**

**Amy grabbed at John's other arm and put it round her neck.**

**"Let's get him upstairs to bed!" she said.**

**As they headed for the stairs,John opened his eyes slightly giggling said...**

**"Hello,Pond..wow this is like being drunk, without the booze..." his legs went again."**

**"No Raggedy man! Upsie Daisy !" Amy said pulling him back up.**

**"Yes..love Daisy...love Clara..."John was starting to sob now.**

**"Oops..oh dear...!"Amy said at that.**

**By this time they were on the landing outside the bedroom,and met Clara who was coming downstairs from the attic landing.**

**"Who was it Amy?"Her eyes went wide when she saw John. "Sweetheart...what! is he alright?" **

**"Clara..the door...please!"**

**Rory was about to have a fit if he didn't get John on to the bed anytime soon.**

**"What! Oh sorry,Rory!"**

**She opened the door quickly, Rory and Amy dropped John on to the bed.**

**"Oh thank God!" Rubbing his arms, Rory sat down on the chair next to the bed. "He might have lost some weight, he's still 'bloody' heavy."**

**"What's happened ?"Amy asked.**

**"Dr Barclay changed his meds ,is what happened..He needs to calm down! I didn't think he would calm down that much! Only has to take a couple a week unlike the others."he stood up.**

**"Let's get his jeans off and he can sleep for a few hours,before..."his voice tailed off, "then I can tell you both what happened"**

**"Clara..!.John was still sobbing, had his,eyes closed."Clara...love you...! " he was saying.**

**"I know you do...John,****hush**** now...go to sleep!"**

**She was stroking his head. Looking at Rory,**

**"He's well out of it isn't he ?"**

**Rory was,pulling his,jeans off and unbuttoning his shirt... then covering him up with the duvet.**

**"He's only had one pill, with his lunch,everything was alright until he got into the car...then he sparked out on me! I think he will be alright when he wakes up...Dr Barclay said they might make him drowsy for a while..."**

**"Mummy,"John muttered,and turned over.**

**"Hush,"Rory said patting him on the shoulder"you've had a long day haven't you, John? Let him sleep,I've got lots to tell you both"He nodded to the door."Downstairs..."**

**Leaving the door,slightly ajar,the three of them went downstairs to the kitchen.**

**"How's,it going with Tom's room,?"Rory asked sitting down at the table.**

**"All done..."Amy said.."Oh Rory you want to see it! It's a proper boys room,Tom is going to love it..."He smiled,he had never seen Amy so animated for a long time.**

**"I'll go and have a look later..."he said.**

**"Rory...said Clara,"Thank you for the things you got for Daisy,she will love it,"looking at Amy as well. "Thank you both".**

**"Clara,we want Daisy to be comfortable when she stays here,with or with out you and John,so we thought she should have her own room."Rory continued.**

**"Yes",Amy said..."Think Raggedy man will love it?"**

**"Oh, yes,"said Clara."He will..."**

**"Now about John,"said Rory and began to tell them all that had happened to them both...**

**"You were actually analysed too !" Amy couldn't believe it."**

**"Apparently it's,the way Dr Barclay works,in fact,there were some things I'd forgotten about as well." he said.**

**"Well,thirty years,is a long time,"Clara said to him,least you could tell him things,I wouldn't have been able too! How was,John?"**

**"That was the thing,"Rory said scratching his head,**

**"He went into the room with Dr Barclay,who said something to him about what was in his medical file.**

**John took the hump with this...and ****flew**** off the handle. He wanted to leave there and then!**

**So when I told the Doctor about the ****delusions****... He decided to change his meds,to try and calm him down.I think these will help...once his body gets,use to them and he stops taking the others"**

**Looking at the pills in his hand,then at the girls...**

**"He had threatened to punch me too at that point!"**

**"Oh,Rory...! he didn't...I'm sorry" Clara said upset...**

**"Why,it's not your fault" he said."Don't think it's John's either,even when he,was little wouldn't say boo to a goose,would he Amy.?"**

**"No,he's one who would walk away from a fight if he could"**

**"There must be something causing it!"Clara,said.**

**"Hmm!" We've got another appointment for next Wednesday evening,I'll have to meet him there.I'm back at work,you'll be home Clara."**

**Rory continued,**

**Dr Barclay wants to hypnotise him,thinks he might get to the cause of the problem that way."**

**"Isn't that dangerous?" Clara asked.**

**"No,shouldn't think so,"Rory replied..."Dr Barclay is medically trained in it.**

**Maybe it will get to the root of things".**

**"The only thing I'm concerned about at the moment is what,Auntie is going to tell us when she gets here in," he looked at his watch... "three hours,and how John is going to take it,I haven't told him yet,there just hasn't been the opportunity" **

**Rory continued."I hope he wakes up before she gets here."**

**"Have you decided what to tell him?" Amy asked.**

**"No..."I mean how do you tell your best friend that the woman,he's as been calling 'Auntie' for the last thirty odd years is really his mother...****Christ****...still don't believe it myself. Anyway,she wants to tell him..."**

**Rory was pulling his hand through his hair.**

**"Think I'll go sit in the office...got some work to sort.**

**Let me know if John wakes up!"**

**"Okay, stupid face,"Amy said. Pulling him too her and kissing him.**

**See you later".**

**He walked off into the office and shut the door behind him.**

**"Amy" asked Clara,looking after him,and then looking back at her...**

**"He is alright,it's not too much,all this with John? We're not going to make him sick to are we?"**

**"No...he'll be fine.. just needs half an hour too himself before he sorts,the next problem out" She put an arm round Clara.**

**"Rory isn't happy unless he's sorting out things,for other people that's one of the reasons he became a solicitor! Best go and put the casserole in for later...though whether any one will be hungry by the time Auntie gets here and talks to John is anyone's guess"**

**Rory was sat at his desk,he turned on the computer."God he was tired!"All day he had kept going with the adrenaline of John's problems,now he'd stopped,it seemed to be caughing up with him.**

**Staring at the screen in front of him the words,were all blurring...together.**

**"Sod this!.."I'm going to be no good to John if I collapse now...and how can I help Amy with Tom if I'm sick...I'll just sit down on the sofa...five minutes!" he thought.**

**When Amy looked in ten minutes later to ask if he wanted more Coffee,he was lay flat out on the '****said ****sofa' ****fast asleep.**

**She turned off the computer,covered him up with the rug,kissed him on the head.**

**"Five more minutes" he muttered,as he turned over.**

**"I think we can allow you more than that,sweetheart..."**

**For all she'd told Clara,he was exhausted,hadn't really seen it until he stopped.**

**When he woke he would still carry on, because that was Rory...it would take a tornado or more to stop him...!**

**She tiptoed out shutting the door,Clara was sat at the table eating a sandwich.**

**"Does he want,one...a coffee?"**

**"He's asleep at the moment" Amy saw the look Clara gave her continued.**

**"He just needs,to recharge his batteries,he was up before six,and to be fair... didn't sleep well last night trying to puzzle out about Auntie. Don't look so guilty,Clara...Rory won't thank you for it...and you won't stop him...Think at least we can give him until John wakes...okay?"**

**"Well,if you're sure?" Clara,replied. I'll just finish this and go check on John. Its nearly six,I would leave him if Auntie wasn't coming,we need to see how he is"**

**"Yes" Amy said," He's had three hours,perhaps the new meds have helped?"**

**Clara got up,"I'll just go and see,then."**

**Going upstairs she went into the bedroom,John was flat on his back still dead to the world.**

**Wondering if she should wake him,but Auntie was coming in less than two hours! She sat next to him on the bed, stroking his face,**

**"John,sweetheart,are you going to wake up now?**

**John opened his eyes sleepy,**

**Hmm! Clara, what ?" He yawned,stretched and then grabbed for her..**

**"Hello,sweetie,"Clara do you want to ****cuddle****?"**

**"John "she giggled..."you want to now...**

**"Why not!...come here sexy...**

**"John! mind the baby...how about you go have a shower and then we can go and have supper with Rory and Amy.?"she lay next to him on the bed...running her fingers up and down his chest.**

**"You're feeling lots better then...?"**

**Putting his arms round her said...**

**"Feel wonderful...Like I'm floating...these new,pills are great...everything seems brighter...oh yes..."**

**He sat up and the room tilted,**

**"Woe" he said feeling suddenly dizzy.**

**"John...sweetheart...are you alright?" Clara asked holding on to him and helping him lie back again.**

**"Well..." he said,with his eyes closed... "Not doing that again!"**

**He opened one eye,experimentally...the room was still swaying slightly..."Maybe not...!"he said and closed it again.**

**There was a knock on the door.**

**"Come in"Clara said.**

**Amy came in then,with Rory,who looked as though he had just woken up himself.**

**"Is he awake?" Rory asked.**

**Knowing that he wanted to talk to John to try and prepare him for Auntie's visit,Clara who was still sat on the bed next to John said. **

**"Sweetheart,why don't you try and sit up,slowly?"**

**"It might help if you opened your eyes as well,John" Rory said.**

**"Don't start! This is your fault...anyway, Rory" John replied, irritable...**

**"Me!" Rory continued. "What did I do?"**

**"You gave me that dam pill...everything will be all right, you said ... and that bloody Doctor..doesn't know,what,he's..."**

**John wasn't even pausing for breath.**

**Rory opened his mouth to answer John back, Clara suddenly turned to John and took his face in her hands...**

**"John...stop this,now! ...you're acting like a spoiled child...Daisy would be ashamed of you"**

**Because he hadn't expected Clara to tell him off John's eyes shot open. To his relief,the room had stopped spinning. **

**"Oh! but!" he started to say.**

**Clara got up off the bed,pointing at him...**

**"No...John enough is enough...everyone, Rory especially as been helping you for the last month...it's time you helped yourself..."**

**Rory said, "Clara..." Amy put her hand on his arm and shook her head at him as though to say..."Let Clara handle this one!"**

**"You are going to get out of that bed, shower and have some supper.**

**If you don't get your act together by Sunday...I'm going home ...on my own!"**

**She stood right near him..."I mean it John,I want our life back to what it was. ...Rory and Amy have Tom coming to stay in a few days,they don't need another ****child**** hanging round their necks.**

**If you want to talk to me,I'll be downstairs,helping Amy with the supper.**

**With that Clara hurried out the room,followed by Amy. John just stared after her open mouthed...**

**Rory went and sat next to John on the chair near the bed.**

**"Wow,I wondered how Clara could get you to do as you're told...now I know!" he said to him. She's the one for you... won't let you get your own way...all the time!"**

**"Oi! I don't !" John said. "Anyway she can't go home without me...she can't drive"...**

**"Neither can you until Sunday...I won't let you until the meds settle in your system.**

**These are,stronger than the others you were on,John, once they are,out your system you will only have to take two a week.**

**"I still have to go back and see Dr Barclay though,be hynotised? "John looked at Rory.**

**"I think it would help... l can't force you,John,much as,Amy and me like having you here,Clara is right...it's time we all got back to our lives."**

**He put his hand on John's arm,**

**"You are getting better,but you need to be busy,eight weeks to your wedding and counting.!"You have lots to do at the hotel,I can put your flat on the market for you, ...sell the furniture you don't want."**

**"I know and I trust you..."John replied..."when did Clara get so bossy though? How can she go home without me?"**

**"That's easy!"Rory said."I would take her"**

**"...Why...do you want to get rid of us?"John said.**

**"John,it's not that...Clara is nearly three months pregnant,by the time you get married,she will be well over five.**

**"Answer me this what home as she got? One small two bedroom flat you can hardly move in.**

**All you have is one room in the place where you both work!"**

**"We were going to covert the top floor at the hotel"John said, Things happened...Clara was sick, all this with Sue,then I was sick..."**

**"I know" Rory said..."so you've got 8 weeks,make them count,go home,keep busy...make a home for Clara before the wedding."**

**"Now...I need to tell you something, Auntie coming to see us tonight,for a visit.!"**

**"Oh,it's a little sudden isn't it?"John said Puzzled "We'll see her and Daisy on Sunday when we get home."**

**Rory crossed his fingers behind his back...thinking,**

**"Well if I'm going to get punched for fibbing..!"**

**"I think she had to see someone on business for the hotel.**

**' She is missing you John,don't you want to see her?"**

**"Course I do!" he replied.**

**Rory put his hand on his,arm knowing this to be true anyway.**

**"She is invited for supper,and as its going to be quite late is staying over..tonight"**

**"Right" John said, getting out of bed."As I'm under orders from Clara, better go and shower. Then go and ****apologise**** to her"**

**"I'd better go and pick Auntie from the station," Rory said looking at his watch.**

**"7pm,she'll be on the seven thirty."**

**"Rory," John said...Stopping him before he left the room.**

**"I'm sorry about what I said before,about it being your fault...its not...course not" he sighed,then added..."it's mine!"**

**"John..."stop this! It's what I mean,everything is not your fault...this ****guilt**** is one of the things you ****need **** to discuss with Dr Barclay..."**

**"But...!"**

**"No ,John we'll discuss this later" that's if he is,still talking to me then,he thought.**

**Downstairs,Amy was getting things ready for supper.**

**Clara was banging ! drawers...cupboards..When she turned her attention to the pile of plates and glasses that had been left out to set the table for the meal. Amy rushed over...**

**"Oh,no Clara! come on..sit down,"she led her over to the sofa.**

**"I know,you are,angry with "Raggedy man, but you're the one who is going to be sick next,if you carry on like this!"**

**Clara was still fuming..**

**"Amy...I've just had enough.!..I love John, I do...! but,but" she stammered "I want to go home, I miss Daisy..."**

**She burst into tears...**

**"Oh come here,love!"Amy said putting her arms round her."I know you do"**

**" The wedding is in in eight weeks.. ."she sobbed,"we've nowhere to live,don't even know how John is going to be when Auntie arrives,how he'll take what she is going to tell him even. I just flipped when John started blaming Rory...and out of us all,he has done the most for him...I just got so mad..."**

**"I know sweetheart," Amy continued "Rory never take it personal...**

**...When they row, it's soon forgotten...**

**Believe me they've had some ****biggies**** over the years.I..remember..!" She smiled thinking back...**

**"No that's for another time...'run your husband down night'.. for the future when we've got a right bag on with one of them...okay"**

**"Kay..."**

**Clara dried her eyes,as Rory came in saying.**

**"Just going to the station to pick up Auntie,are you alright,Clara?"**

**Noticing she had been crying.**

**"Have to be,where is he?"**

**"Shower...he's very subdued since you gave him that rocket,be prepared for him to grovel when he comes down" he said with a smile.**

**"You're the one he should be apologising to,Rory..."Clara said. "After all you've done for him..."**

**"He has,"Rory replied.**

**"He's blaming himself again now...it's his ****fault****..he seems to switch like that..it's as though some one is saying that to him...maybe his,dad? I expect we'll find out,with Dr Barclays help. I best go and get Auntie...Amy,have seen my car keys?"**

**Patting at all his pockets.**

**"No there not in my pocket this time"**

**"Hall table you dropped them getting Raggedy Man up to bed. "She said.**

**"Thanks,..by the way,John thinks Auntie is coming for supper because she has business for the hotel"**

**He looked at them both...**

**"It was all I could think of,without telling him the full truth. See you both soon"**

**As he walked out, down the hall,they heard him say.**

**"You're,looking better,mate...the girls are in the lounge..."**

**Amy looked at Clara,who was still sat on the sofa,as John came into the room,She said standing up,**

**"I'll just check the casserole,and put the kettle on"**

**Touching Clara's hand,"Talk to him...okay?"**

**She nodded at her,but didn't move from the sofa...as Amy walked to the kitchen.**

**John,looked and smiled as his Pond walked past him,touched him on the shoulder without saying anything to him.**

**As Amy shut the door John went over to Clara and sat next to her.**

**"Clara...I'm sorry.." he said.**

**"That's the thing,John,you always are..."she replied. "You should be apologising to Rory as well"**

**"I did!" He continued suddenly... "you won't leave me will you?"**

**Clara looked at him,then put her arms out to him...**

**"Come here!" She held him against her.**

**"Course I won't...but John,you have got to try and help yourself,or this wedding will not happen.I said weeks ago,we need to talk,and we will later okay,in bed...in private,and not that!" **

**She said as she felt him smile against her shoulder "Well maybe...we'll see!"**

**John lifted his head away from Clara said.**

**"I do feel lots better though,maybe this is the turning point now? Did you know Auntie is coming for supper?"**

**"Yes," she replied, " It was sort of last minute,always nice to see her...and we will see Daisy on Sunday too"**

**"Oh,yes. I really miss her!"..John said," I'm really looking forward to getting home,and we will sort out the top floor of the hotel, into a home before the wedding...I promise you Clara," he hugged her again to him.**

**"Oh,I love you so much,don't know how I'd cope if I lost you..."she heard as his head was on her shoulder again.**

**Clara bit her lip,shut her eyes when Auntie arrived...Hoped that their lives would stay the same!**

**Meanwhile**

**Rory was parked outside the station in his car.**

**The train that Auntie was suppose to be on was due in about ten minutes.**

**Having seen,John on his way out of the house,thought he did look and seem better. Hopefully had made it up with Clara...He smiled at that...then he thought that what ever Auntie was going to tell him would not change that.**

**Looking up,he saw Auntie coming out of the station entrance carrying a small overnight bag.**

**Getting out of the car,he waved as she started to walk over to the taxi rank...**

**"Auntie..."**

**Looking over seeing who it was, hurried over to the car.**

**"Rory...you didn't have to pick me up,I would have got a taxi"**

**Rory shook his head at her. **

**"It's fine,besides,I need to talk to you before you see,John."**

**Taking the bag from her put it on the back seat as Auntie got in the front next to him.**

**Getting back in the car she said.**

**"Rory,you look really tired,are you okay? No that's a,stupid question isn't it? You're not. None of you are...I'm sorry to drop this,on you all...I should have never have let it get this far!"**

**Rory looked at her,**

**"Auntie, all I have told him is that you are coming for a visit,overnight because,you have some business in London for the hotel.I didn't know,what else to tell him...this is the first time I've lied to him,even though it's only a fib.."**

**"Well,I do business in the West End now and then for toiletries,so that's why maybe John didn't question it" she said.**

**"I think you should tell him though,it's right he should know," Rory said."I'm still not sure how he's going to take it"**

**"I will tell,you all of you why I let my sister and brother in law adopt him...oh yes,it was all legal"**

**She said as Rory looked at her.**

**"Think that would be best,sounds as though it could be a long story" Rory continued,looking at her...**

**"I need to ask. John's Father,it's not ****Dave ****Oswald****?"**

**"Rory!" Of course it's not! You don't think I would have let it get that far between them,if it had been?**

**Soon as I found out who Clara,was,I would have stopped it...! No,I didn't know Dave then."**

**"I'm sorry!" Rory said,"I'd no right to ask that,we'd better go they will be wondering where we are"**

**He pulled out of the car park,**

**Auntie asked him...**

**"How did you go on with Dr Barclay,Rory...did you manage to get him to talk?"**

**"Some.." he replied "though I got analysed as,well!"**

**" Really," she said,"that's unusual,why?"**

**"Its,the way Dr Barclay works...I didn't mind as I was able to give him some insight into John's childhood,from what I remembered. Something's I couldn't,and John is,half remembering,hence the nightmares"**

**"I see" Auntie said to him..." have you got to take him again?"**

**"Yes," Rory replied."Next Wednesday evening,at 7pm...Dr Barclay is going to try hypnotism on him thinks it may ****get to the problem that way"**

**"Oh,Rory,what's happening to him,Why is he like this?"**

**"I don't know,Auntie,I think it is something to do with your brother-in-law..the nightmares he's been having,he seemed terrified of him,do you remember him being like that round him."**

**"No,I would have said...the only time he spanked John that I can remember was just before he took him to the flat.**

**"It was over nothing really..."**

**"Nothing?"... Rory said.**

**How do you mean nothing!" They were,nearly home so he pulled the car over to the kerb.**

**"I didn't mean it like that! Perhaps,it was me,I don't know,think he didn't like me. I didn't like him either!"**

**Auntie said.**

**"How,to tell you...John was playing as little boys,do,with cars and making the noises..."**

**Rory nodded at this...**

**"When,Mike told him to be quiet,like all three year olds John,carried on, ****ignoring him"**

**Pausing then.**

**"That day,I visiting " she said.**

**"Mike really went for him. I'd never seen John so frightened! He clung to me screaming!"**

**She closed her eyes remembering back to that day...**

**"Mike... please,he's only a baby...!"**

**He loomed over the pair of them.**

**Trying to smack the back of John's legs again.**

**'DON'T...S-SMACK...NO...D-DADDY...I'M SORRY...AUNTIE!'**

**John's little hands clutching at her blouse,tears pouring down his face. **

**Mike yelling at her before he stormed out of the room.**

**"He's not your child...I'll do what I like with him! He will do as he's bloody told,or he'll get more of that! Mind your own 'fucking' business!"**

**Coming back to the present,and Rory said.**

**"I told Mike, he shouldn't discipline him like that..he was only little...didn't understand,was only three a baby...He said,I had signed that right away when I'd let them adopt John,so I should mind my own business!"**

**"It was,two hours before John calmed down,he wouldn't let go of me"**

**Auntie was getting more upset...**

**"Oh,God,Rory...What must he have done to him when I wasn't there!"**

**"The day they were killed,I had to tell him they had gone to heaven.**

**He asked for Mummy back,said they could keep Daddy as he didn't like him...I told him he shouldn't say things like that.I understand why now..Oh what have I done?"**

**Rory put his arms round her.**

**"Auntie,life is full of what ifs..maybe if they had lived things might have been different...perhaps John would have stood up to him,I don't know.**

**Your sister might have left him? You said she was frightened of him? He threatened to take John away from her?"**

**"Yes,"she replied"I think that was the only reason she went back to him,I did try and tell her she had rights,but she was too scared of losing him,they had been fighting a lot.. especially over the baby issue...then she did get pregnant,and it was his,because the other man was well gone by then"**

**"I think,he must have resented John,not being his own flesh and blood?" Rory said "You said he blamed your sister for not having children?"**

**Auntie nodded.**

**Rory then said.**

**"John asked me last night,in a nightmare... had gone back to his childhood..What a Bastard was,because Daddy had called him one and also the baby!"**

**He continued."and so it goes on...this is why he needs to talk to Dr Barclay,who has also put him on some new meds,from today."**

**"Do you think they will help him?" She asked.**

**"Time will tell,he seems carmer,anyway we best get back its gone eight,they will think we've got lost...try not to worry,Auntie...we will help you,what ever way John takes it!"**

**Rory pulled the car away from the kerb.**

**It was only slightly further on to the house,Rory had wanted to have this talk with Auntie,to try and find out why she had let her sister and brother in law adopt John.**

**Whatever her reasons were,it was surely done with good intentions just hoped John saw it that way.**

**Amy came to the door,as they got out of the car.**

**"Hello,Auntie" she said hugging her."wondered if Rory had missed you at the station?"**

**"No,Amy dear." she replied"Rory has just telling me how John is,I've not told him what or why...I wanted to tell you all together..."**

**"Their both in the lounge,watching the television" Amy continued.**

**Rory put Aunties bag in the hall,**

**"Amy will show you later were you're sleeping" he said.**

**"Hope it's not going to be too much trouble",Auntie said.**

**"It's not" said,Rory,"besides it's, going to be Daisy's room when she stays with us,think Amy and Clara will want to show you later,there is also another surprise. Let's go in John and Clara will wonder what we're up to.**

**Walking into the lounge,John and Clara were both sat on the sofa curled up together.**

**"Auntie" said Clara uncurling herself, getting went over to her and hugged her.**

**"Clara ,dear...you're looking well,Daisy sends hugs and kisses to you both,so does your Dad. Their looking forward to Sunday.**

**Hello ,John."**

**Auntie went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. she looked at him. For all Rory said,and had only seen him herself on Sunday,three days ago...He looked worn out,dark circles round his eyes.**

**"What!" He said sensing that she was looking him over."I have been eating,honestly,well maybe not yesterday, I did have a sandwich earlier,didn't I?"looking at Rory.**

**"Yes," he replied,"You are going to have something now,right?" giving him a,look that booked no argument.**

**"Okay...bossy "John said in good humour.**

**"It is ready"Amy said if you all want to sit down...," bringing in the salad,"I'll just get the casserole.**

**"I'll get it.." Rory said to her,"if you get the rolls there warming in the oven."**

**Following him back to the kitchen,Amy looked at him.**

**"Rory?"...**

**"I'm not sure when she is going to tell him," he said " We all know,she is going to have to right?"**

**"Did she tell you much in the car?"Amy asked.**

**"No,only what we already knew or guessed at"**

**He took hold of the hot casserole with the oven gloves..."grab the rolls Amy"**

**Going back to the table,Amy served the casserole to everyone giving John a small plate...whether it was because he'd hardly eaten in the last 24 hours,to give him his,due he did clear his.**

**Clara smiled because he'd told her he would try to eat.**

**"That was great,Pond"he said..."Better than your usually standard.."**

**"Oi... " she said to him."I will put the coffee on,unless like Clara,any one wants,tea?"**

**Rory and John had coffee,but Auntie said.**

**"I won't say no to a cup of tea, John dear,do want you tell me about your visit to see Dr Barclay?...only if you want too."**

**John shrugged,getting up from the table and going to sit back in the lounge on the sofa.**

**"I don't mind,"he said though there is not much to tell,I expect Rory as told you most of it on the way here?"**

**Auntie had followed him into the lounge and sat next to him. nodded at him.**

**"Some of it,"she said softly.**

**"John ,do you remember coming to live with me at my flat in London? After the accident,before you went to live with Rory and his Dad?"**

**"When I played you up something rotten"**

**He smiled at that..."vaguely"**

**"And you remember asking me to get Mummy back? When I said that her and Daddy had gone to heaven?"**

**Amy put two cups,down on the table in front of them, John didn't notice,as thirty years of memories rushed at him...**

**Rory looked worried as he went white...**

**John said "I told you I didn't want Daddy back because I didn't like him...God could keep him if I could just have Mummy back...I r-member"**

**He was starting to cry...**

**"DDaddy ,h hurt me...was a-always spanking m-me..for nothing...w-was a,g-good b-boy I w-wasn't! naughty!He b-broke my a-arm"**

**He rubbed it...**

**Rory,Amy and Clara looked at each other...the flood gates, were open at last!**

**Auntie held him to her..saying,**

**"Oh come here sweetheart...I know should not let him have you...should never have let it get that far...told you then.I'm sorry...I'm sorry...!"**

**"What!,"John said sitting up wiping his eyes..."Let who have me?"**

**" John"she said ,putting her hand on his face."My sister and her husband were not your Mum and Dad." Taking a deep breath...**

**"Sweetheart...I'm your Mother.."**

**John just looked at her open mouthed!**

**Looking round at the others said..****This ****Is**** A J****oke****?"**

**Right****!?"**

**A/N**

**So the truth Is out at last.**

**HOW will John take it?**

**Will he forgive"Auntie" for what she did.**

**Next chapter,she tells them what happened.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 46**

**John just stared at them all in confusion, he was asleep,and this was some bad dream!**

**"Like I said" he repeated."This is a joke,right?"**

**"No,John" Auntie said "it's the truth,I should have never kept it from you"**

**She was holding his hands.**

**John pulled away,from her.**

**Stood up,shaking his head.**

**"No,****No,this is wrong,it has to be"**

**Turning to the other three he paused,noticing the looks they were giving each other.**

**"You knew,and were keeping it from me.Y****ou all knew!"**

**He was getting more upset,angry.**

**"John" Rory started towards him.**

**"NO!" he said putting his hands up to him. **

**"Why should I listen to more lies? Leave me alone!**

**Go away,Rory!"**

**John was finding it hard to breathe,the more upset he got.**

**Looking for a way out he went towards the patio doors pulling them open and went into the garden.**

**He vaguely heard Clara call his name,but took no notice. sitting down on one of the garden chairs.**

**It was going dark,getting chilly. John needed to be by himself to think,had to think! Looking up he noticed Rory had followed him to the patio doors, no further.**

**Clara tried to come out after him, Rory stopping her.**

**"Clara,I know you want to help him,he's in no mood to listen at the moment,to any of us"**

**"Rory,it's going dark and cold.'He's going to get sick again" she replied pleading " Do something! Please.."**

**"I know you think I can work ****'miracles'****, this time I don't think he will even listen to me.**

**John's going to have to work this out for himself" he continued. "Besides,we've got Auntie,to think of as well."**

**Looking back,he noticed Auntie was still sat in the,same spot on the sofa,where John had pulled away from her,she seemed in a daze.**

**Rory shut the patio door slightly saying to Amy,who was behind him.**

**"I don't think he will go anywhere, let me know if he does,okay"**

**Amy nodded at him as she looked out of the window.**

**John looked so dejected. Rory walked over to the sofa,Auntie looked up at him.**

**"He hates me,Rory!" she said to him."I -I shouldn't have told him" she burst into tears. "What am I going to do?"**

**"Oh Auntie!" He sat down on the sofa next to her,and put his arms round her.**

**"You had to.**

**If you didn't do it now,it was bound to come out at some time! He doesn't hate you.**

**Shock,that's all,when he's calmed down,you can tell him,us what happened,Okay?"**

**"Rory," Amy said from her post at the window,**

**"John's going out of the side gate!"**

**"What! Isn't it locked?" he replied.**

**"No it's bin day tomorrow"**

**"Oh ****shit ****"he said under his breath running to the front door trying to cut John off.**

**'Please don't let him disappear before I get there' he thought.**

**John was walking down the street,using the path that went towards the park Rory went after him. Shouting.**

**"John, where are you going!?" **

**He stopped,but didn't turn round.**

**"What,do you care,Rory?"**

**"I care a lot" He replied.**

**"I don't think so" Shaking his head "None of you do. I'm going!"**

**He started to walk again.**

**Rory rushed after him,grabbed ****hold of him,turning him round to face him.**

**"Stop this John! ****WE**** all care a great deal about you.**

**What do you think we've all been doing this last month,no this last thirty years, Amy and me,is that not '****Fucking ****Caring Enough'?"**

**"How long have you known?" John asked him.**

** "About me?" He pulled away from Rory.**

**" John we can't talk here,come back to the house. Auntie will tell you why she did this"**

**"More lies." he laughed "she's not my Aunt is she?"**

**Wiping the last of his tears away with his hand.**

**He pointed at Rory.**

**"You won't give me a straight answer. Clara won't want me now will she? I'm not John Smith any more"**

**"Of course you're ****'bloody'**** John Smith,why wouldn't you be?"**

**Rory shivered.**

**"Its getting cold out here,why don't we go back inside?"**

**John looked as though was,going to refuse,so he said.**

**"To the kitchen no further,then if you want to talk to_"**

**He didn't say her name."John,what ever you want to do,we'll do,please,mate?"**

**Putting a hand out to him.**

**He noticed he'd started to shiver,for he had been outside for thirty minutes, in his shirt sleeves.**

**John was hugging himself,trying to keep warm.**

**Clara was right,he was,going to get sick if Rory didn't get him back inside soon.**

**John nodded,as his teeth were chattering,**

**"K-kitchen,only to t-talk"he said.**

**Walking back to the house he went through the lounge into the kitchen,ignoring the others,he sat down at the table.**

**Rory came in behind him. Only stopped say to them,quietly.**

**"I have persuaded him to talk to me.I will try and get him to talk to you,Auntie,not sure if I can.I will do my best ,which is why he's gone in the kitchen.**

**Look after her" he said to the girls."Auntie. I will try"**

**"Rory,"Clara said worriedly,"he looks so cold"**

**"I know,"he said"I'll make him a coffee,warm him up.**

**Don't worry I'll sort it,"**

**He touched her hand and then followed John into the kitchen. Shutting the door. He quickly made a couple of coffees and put one in front of John.**

**John was tempted to throw it back at him,but was so cold he drank half of the cup. Putting his hands,round the cup to stop them shaking.**

**Without looking at him,John said to Rory,bitterly.**

**"So,talk then! Tell me more fairy tales"**

**"Stop it John,!"Rory rounded on him.**

**"I have never lied to you,until today,and that was only a fib,about Auntie coming to supper.**

**We only found out last night about this.**

**The reason we didn't tell you was because you had started having the nightmares again"**

**"Do you know what's hurting me the most,Rory?" **

**He did look him in the eye then, angrily. **

**"Not that you all ****lied**** to me. I think it's,it's because she left me with him,a-and if h-he ha-dnt d-died,"**

**John was getting upset,now,that all the fight was leaving him.**

**"He-would have ki-lled me!" **

**He burst into tears."He-e w-as h-urtging m-e and n-no one cared. I-l w-as on-y-three,d-didn't unders-stand"**

**"_John"**

**Rory came over then.**

**Tried to put his arms round him as he cried.**

**"N_No..I_I"_**

**John pushed him away at first then.**

**He collapsed against Rory.**

**"D-idd,I-I d-o something w-wrong? Was I-I a mistake?**

**UUnwanted?"**

**John sobbed.**

**Rory pulled his friend to him,more.**

**"Oh no! No_ John of course your not!"**

**"S-he left_m-me_why!? Didn't she c-are"**

**The questions were coming thick and fast,questions Rory had no answers to.**

**"Oh John,hush.I'm sorry, I know.I know.**

**She must have had good reason to do what she did"**

**He stroked his head,rocking him.**

**"I-don't k-now who I am_!" he sobbed into Rory's shoulder.**

**"You're John Smith! Would you want to change it, Your surname?" He said "if you want to you could"**

**"No. I like it. Why should I?" John was calming down a little,he pulled away from Rory wiping his eyes.**

**He looked at him with confusion and hurt in them.**

**"Rory it's w-when ****she**** asked me about that time at the flat,after they had been killed,I remembered ****everything****." He said."It was like a tidal wave,every insult, smack,punch, there were lots It came flooding back.**

**" ****He ****hated ****me****!"He looked at him in anguish. Rory leaned back and said to him.**

**"John,I have to ask did, he touch you anywhere he shouldn't?"**

**"NO-no!"**

**Realising what he meant. Going red,with the embarrassment of the question.**

**"Think I would remember that"**

**John had a faraway look,then he shook himself.**

**"Nothing like that. Spanking me,bruises that could be passed off as me falling while I was,playing. Telling ****them**** I was clumsy. The last time I was under the writing desk.I wasn't climbing on it,I was hiding from him."**

**" Thought that was what happened",Rory said to him,thinking about the last nightmare he'd had.**

**John closed his eyes,remembering that day clearly at last.**

**" He went mad, dragged me out,started hitting me,then,then,he bent my arm back.**

**It got broken when he threw me away from him,and I landed against the desk."**

**He was rubbing his arm while he was telling him this. Opening his eyes again.**

**John shivered,the look in his,eyes remembering.**

**Rory hated this man for what he had put John through,no wonder he had problems he couldn't deal with!**

**"I don't want to keep any of the furniture,Rory."**

**John was shivering,whether it was,the cold or the fright of all this coming out.**

**"Sell it,PLEASE! I don't want to be reminded" He begged him.**

**"John if that's,what you want. I will do it for you."**

**He gave him his hankie. "Here"**

**"Thanks," Throwing his arms round him.**

**You're a good friend Rory,I'm sorry I didn't trust you." Taking a deep breath.**

**"I still don't understand why? I think I should let her explain,right?"**

**"Hear her out first, John,there must be **** a reason for this? Then you can make up your mind, what you need to do.**

**You will have to decide what to call her.**

**You're still cold,go have a shower to warm up,and I will tell them what you want to do,right?"**

**He nodded.**

**Opening the door,they both went back in the lounge,John headed upstairs.**

**"Rory he 'is alright isn't he?"Clara asked.**

**"He's gone for a shower needs to warm up,so he doesn't get sick,Will be about ten minutes" He replied.**

**"Auntie,He will listen to your side,now,he's remembered some of what your brother in law did to him,and if ****he**** was here now.I would bloody ****kill**** him because John believes that he would have killed him, if he hadn't died first.**

**"Rory,he didn't!" Amy asked,appalled,thinking the same as he did before.**

**"I did ask him ,he said no."**

**John has never lied to me.I suppose we have to be thankful for that.**

**He did enough,to him that could be blamed on a clumsy three year old playing."**

**There was something,Rory had seen the look on John's face in the kitchen. **

**He hoped he was wrong. John seemed to clam up if pushed.**

**"I will tell you all of it when he comes down"Auntie said.**

** "Then it will be up to him if he forgives me or not.I'll understand if he never wants to see me again."**

**"I haven't decided yet."said a voice."I need to know,the rest." John came downstairs in his dressing gown.**

**He went over to one of the,arm chairs,and sat down.**

**Clara went over to him putting her hand on his face.**

**"Sweetheart, I know you're not alright,You will be though" **

**kneeling down,she put his,hand on her 'bump' John smiled,**

**"I love you" he said "come here" he pulled her up and on to his knee putting his arms round her,he needed the comfort"**

**Rory smiled at this,least he wasn't blaming Clara.**

**Amy came in with a tray of coffee's she had been in the kitchen to make.**

**Putting it on the table in front of John,she handed one to him.**

**" Thanks Pond."He shivered.**

**"John?" Clara said.**

**"I'm okay!" he said,as she was still sat on his knee.**

**"Someone,walked over my grave?"**

**"Don't say that!"she replied getting up, sitting on the arm of the chair.**

**Put both his hands on the cup.**

**"Drink some more of this."**

**John didn't comment,but did as she said.**

**Auntie,hearing what he said.**

**"John,I'm sorry for what happened what he did to you.I didn't know..I really need to tell I did I let them adopt you"**

**He wasn't looking at her, but said.**

**"I'm listening"**

**Taking up her own cup,sipping at her own drink,because her mouth was dry,she began to tell her story.**

**" I was twenty five when I met your Father John,he was a Doctor.**

**He had just started his first practice in Chelsea. I was just a year out of college.**

**In ****my first chambers as a Junior.**

**We were so in love, got married. Could just about afford it.**

**Six months later I found out I was pregnant with you.**

**We were over the moon,about it,even though it was sooner than we had planned. You were,just the icing on the cake"**

**She smiled remembering.**

**"Then,why did you give me away,to your sister?" **

**He asked bitterly still not looking at her.**

**"I didn't intend that to happen, things changed. I was five months gone,your father was killed in a car pile up on the motorway.**

**"What!? " John did look over at her then,"he died?"**

**"Yes."she whispered.**

**"I was told it would have been quick,he wouldn't have suffered. **

**That left me alone.**

**The next four months I was on compassionate leave ,so I went to stay in Leadworth,with my sister and..."**

**Not wanting to call them his Parents,any more,as it upset him.**

**"I was numb,but I was looking forward to you being born,John. it helped with the grief.**

**My sister was a tower of strength,even though at the time,she was trying for a baby herself. We had been close as children,but lost touch when she married.**

**Our parents died when we were little,so in away we grew,close again."**

**"Anyway,four months later you arrived.**

**On time as it happens"she continued.**

**"That would be a first"Rory smiled.**

**"Never known him be on time for anything!"**

**"OI" John said with a smile."I'm not that bad"**

**"I loved you as soon as I saw you,John,you do look just like your father.I know that Dave did say you had a look of me,looks can change as you grow older,that's why we were able to say you were my sister's child."**

**John's face had gone dark shot up from the arm chair.**

**"Then,why,did you leave me with,****him!****?" **

**He stood in fury in front of her! He was never going to call ****him ****Daddy**** again!**

**"Didn't you want me!?"The things he did to me,the smacks,the punishments,I was given for nothing.I didn't understand half the time what I'd done wrong!"W-why? D-didn't y-you c-care?"**

**"John,I'm sorry" she stammered. "I didn't mean for this to happen"**

**Auntie was,getting tearful,with her own emotions,and also John's.**

**Rory stood up quickly and went over to John,**

** because he could see that he was starting to get upset put his arm round him.**

**"John,mate come and sit back down,**

**let her finish telling it,you'll understand then" ' I hope he thought for John's sanity sake' looking at Auntie.**

**John let him guide him back to the arm chair,where Clara was still sat on the arm of it She kissed and then put her arm round him. He was shaking.**

**"I did care,John,I cared a lot" Auntie said,carrying on with her story.**

**" I was so sick after you were born,post-natel depression.**

**The Doctors said it was because of the shock of your father's,death.I was still on leave from my job,but all I could do was cry all the time,and I started to have panic attacks about what I as going to do when you were born,I had it all planned, that just went out the window!"**

**"Because I was,like this. I couldn't look after you.**

**My sister was doing all that,I felt a failure.**

**You were nearly a year old,before I started to feel some what better,like you John I had been put on pills.**

**They did help in some way,that I thought about getting my life back together."**

**John was sat still in the arm chair,but he seemed to be listening.**

**"I decided to go back to my job"she continued.**

**"My employer's were quite happy that I was fit enought to return.**

**It was fine.I had been back at work a couple of months and had decided to get a flat for us both.I would still go to work,and the plan was either to put you in a nursery or to hire a Nanny. I could afford it,as I had a good life insurance pay out from your father."**

**"So,what happened?"John asked."Why didn't you do that?"**

**"You're Da-,sorry Mike.**

**You were over a year old then,John because I wasn't there all the time,you had started to call my sister ****'Mummy'****.**

**You were settled, they were looking after you during the day while I was at work,I was driving between London and Leadworth, sometimes not getting back until late at night. I suggested that I make the move to London permanently with you,Mike was furious"**

**"I can imagine" Rory said,"with the way he treated you John !"**

**John looked from Rory,back to Auntie?**

**"Go,on."he said.**

**"When I asked him what the problem was," she continued,"he said "I was,and did I think that I was going to take you away from them?"**

**"I told him, you were my baby,and should be with me."**

**Mike said.**

**"Was it fair that I was taking you away because by now you thought they were your parents it would confuse you and I wouldn't be able to ****cope**** on my own without their help!"**

**"I said it would be alright. ****I told him about work, and the arrangements I'd made for your care,he told me ****that****..****that**** they would drag me through the court's for custody.**

** He threatened that I wouldn't get you because,because they had looked after you from day one,as I'd been ill.**

** I know I was working for a law firm,but because of the break down I'd had after you were born,John I was really frightened I wouldn't get custody of you.**

**Anyway. I came home,one night,he had some documents drawn up,saying that if I signed you over too them,you would be well looked after,and I would see you all the time, if I didn't and.. and they took me to court if they won. He'd make sure I'd never see you at all.I'd lost your father,I was so frightened I would never see you God help me.I signed,I signed!" She burst into tears.**

**Rory sat down,next to her,he put his arms round her."I'm sorry.I'm sorry...!" she kept saying.**

**John,was still sat white faced in the armchair.**

**"John?!" Rory was looking over at him as he was trying to comfort Auntie,she suddenly went limp in his arms.**

**"Rory,she's,fainted!" Amy said as she rushed over to them.**

**Clara went to the kitchen for some water.**

**"Here," She said as Auntie started to come round,handing the glass to Rory.**

**John got up from the chair,Rory thought he was going to leave the room, but came over too them saying,**

**"Let me?" **

**Rory and Amy moved out of the way, Auntie who was lay back on the cushions on the sofa had started to come round.**

**He sat down next to her.**

**Stroking her face,she came round to see John smiling at her.**

**" You fainted,it's alright.I understand,why you did what you did.I'm not sure if I can forgive,not yet.I need to think about ****things****. Do you want to have a sip of this?" Helping her drink from the glass Rory handed him.**

**" I love you thought I always have,because you did look after me"**

**Looking up at Rory."What time is it?"**

**"Nearly eleven," he said looking at his watch.**

**"I think." John said "we should sleep on things? I've got some thinking to do,and you must be shattered" he said to her.**

** "Why not let Amy and Clara show you were you're going to sleep,alright?"**

**looking at the two girls and then back too,not sure what to call her?**

**The two girls nodded at him.**

**Auntie touched his face,**

**"John, I'm sorry! I-I..."**

**"Hush it's fine,don't worry about it any more."**

**He kissed her on the forehead."Go with the girls,get some sleep, we can talk in the morning"**

**When she hesitated,said.**

**" Rory,will look after me" **

**She got to her feet as Rory helped her up and she kissed him on the cheek,**

**"don't worry he will be fine." **

**He hugged her back,"sleep well,now everything is out in the open!"**

**Amy linked her arm through Aunties who looked suddenly old as Clara led the way upstairs.**

**When they had gone,Rory looked back at John who was still sat on the sofa.**

**" John mate,are you okay?"**

**"I've got lots to think about,Rory,not sure if I can forgive her. Not yet. I can understand why she did what she did.**

**He could be very ****manipulative****,I found that out myself at three" He said.**

**"Do you still want to carry on with your plans for the hotel?" Rory asked.**

**John turned and looked at him.**

**"She's my mother isn't she? That's her Grandchild, Clara's carrying...he might have denied me my Mother.I won't do that to her, by not let her see the baby or Daisy.**

**Rory I do feel better,but still think I need to see Dr Barclay next week."**

**"So do I John " he replied."You have found out a lot today,you still need to talk to someone.**

**How do you feel about going home,are you still up for it?"**

**"Yes,I've got to start somewhere,and I've promised Clara I would sort out the top floor of the hotel into a home,for us before the wedding.**

**Besides, Amy and you need your space before then,to get use to being family with Tom." He smiled,"I'm looking forward to seeing him again on Saturday, even more to seeing Daisy on Sunday****.it's been a long month really,I bet you will be glad to see the back of us?"**

**Rory smiled,**

**"It certainty will be quiet,but you'll be back in a couple of weeks for the wedding shopping,it will hardly be that with Tom and Daisy running about." **

**"Daisy, "John said smiling thinking about her now.**

**She is looking forward to being a bridesmaid.**

**Something else to sort,the wedding.**

**If I had been a divorced man,it would have to have been a register office,but"**

**"You're a widower,so it could be a church wedding,do you think Clara wants that?" Rory asked.**

**"I don't know,"John shrugged his shoulders," maybe Dave will have some idea what she wants? Rory,I did think at one point he might have been my Dad.**

**Can you imagine the upset that would have caused? Clara was pregnant by then, we knew who he was too.."**

**"He looked at him."Oh God,Rory,what ****am**** I going to ****call**** her?"**

**"Yes, well" Rory said not telling him he had that particular conversation with Auntie himself.**

**"That is something,you are going to have to think about. We can't tell you what to call her.**

**Amy and me have always called her 'Auntie' because you did.**

**Clara and Daisy,as well?"**

**"That was when we decided to get married,because I did. Daisy.I will have to explain to her as well.'Oh bloody hell' why is life so complicated?" Pulling his hand through his hair!**

**He stood up and then nearly went flat on his face.**

**"Woe" he said sitting back down on he sofa again.**

**Rory stood up and quickly went over to him.**

**"John,are you alright?"**

**"I'm fine,don't panic" he said "stood up to quick that's all,still getting use to the pills?"**

**"Might be the adrenaline " Rory replied, "it's been a long day John and a lot has happened. You should go to bed?"**

**" Waiting till the room stops spinning!"John said,with his eyes closed.**

**Rory put his hand on his,arm,"if you can walk I can help?" he said.**

**He opened his eyes,the room stopped moving slightly.**

**"Please,I'd like that it's not as bad as earlier,I can walk.I want my bed,so tired." John was yawning.**

**"Come on then." Rory put his arm,round John waist,and John put his round his neck. "Let's get you upstairs"**

**When they got up to the bedroom,Clara was in the room,**

**"Rory?"she queried "is he alright?"**

**"Just tired"he offered as John was nearly asleep,if you could?"indicating she should turn the bed down. for him to lay John down,then covered him up.**

**"Thanks Rory,always" he said, then he was asleep.**

**"You're welcome,mate,"he patted him on the shoulder"straightening up,**

**"I think you will have a quiet night tonight,he's exhausted"is Amy still in with Auntie?" He whispered.**

**Clara nodded,**

**"I'll let you get some sleep as well,call me if you need anything"he kissed her on the forehead."Night Clara!"**

**"Night Rory,and thanks"**

**Rory went into his own room and sat down on the window seat,he was gazing out at the darkened street,when Amy came in.**

**"There you are!"she said "I went back downstairs,but you had come up,is John?"**

**" I put him to bed,he was exhausted.**

**Is Auntie,alright?" He asked.**

**"As she can be I suppose,what a shock! Hard to believe what was going on in that family.**

**What an awful man.**

**Poor,Auntie,poor "Raggedy man. Rory,would she had lost own child?"**

**"It's,hard to know,it could have gone either way I suppose,the courts ****usually**** side with the Mother, it could also depend on the judge.**

**It seems as though he was going to use her breakdown against her,she could have won or lost"**

**"How was he when we took Auntie to bed?" She asked.**

**"Talkative,you know John," he said "Very decisive about what he's going to do.**

**He wants to carry on with his plans for the hotel,so he's going home on Sunday"**

**"And what about his relationship with Auntie?"she continued,"Will he cope with it,will she?"**

**"Amy," he said putting his arms round her, as she had come to sit next to him on the window seat.**

**"That is something they are ,****both**** going to have to work on,and it might be best done where their going to live.**

**He says he understands why she did what she did,but he can't' ****forgive' **** not yet anyway"**

**"Are you still going,to take him to see Dr Barclay next week?" She asked.**

**"Yes,"I think and John agrees he still needs to talk,this could be part of the process of him forgiving.I don't know,he's found out a lot today." He kissed Amy,got up, yawned and stretched.**

**"God,I'm tired,it's after midnight.I'm going to bed" he put his hand out to Amy. "Coming?"**

**"Always" she smiled.**

**A/N**

**Well John has found out about his Aunt.**

**That's she's really his Mother!**

**Now they have bridges to build.**

**Next chapter,they will talk.**

**Also Tom will arrive to stay with Rory and Amy.**

**Please Read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 47 **

**Thursday morning**

**John was awake at five the next morning Clara,was still sleeping.**

**He was trying to get back again himself, he gave up and getting out of bed quietly as not to disturb her,decided to go down to the kitchen and make some tea..**

**Going on to the landing he paused outside Rory and Amy's bedroom.**

**He hoped they were getting a good rest.**

**They had to put up with a lot from him over the last month,even though both insisting would do it ****again**** and ****again.**

**They were both looking tired,especially Rory.**

**Turning away he went down the stairs to the kitchen.**

**Putting on the kettle made himself a mug of tea,then settled down at the kitchen table to drink it and think.**

**Since he had woken up,had not let himself think about what had happened in the last 24 hours,until now. The fact was that at last he knew who was.**

**He did not like the way it had played out.**

**He was also coming to realise that his ****'Aunt'**** was a victim in this as the man who he'd thought was his Father had made her one as well as him.**

**The thing was,he felt robbed of his relationship with her.**

**Would his life had been any different if he had called her ****'Mother'**** instead?**

**He had followed her into law,and Clara had told him weeks ago,before all this started that she was so proud of him.**

**It was just getting over this signing him over to ' them ' that was the problem at the moment.**

**'Why didn't you fight for me!' He said too himself.**

**Tears starting to come down his cheeks.**

**"John?" A voice said.**

**"What?" Looking up suddenly,wiping at his face with his hand.**

**She was stood near the door,John had his back to her so she didn't notice the tears..**

**"Sorry did I wake you?" Trying to get his voice steady again.**

**He turned then going over to her.**

**"No,not at all I didn't know you were down here,**

**I'm surprised to see you or anyone at five thirty in the morning" she said.**

**"Couldn't you sleep either?" He asked her.**

**She shook her head.**

**"Not really, lots to think about"**

**"Tea!" Rushing over to put the kettle on again.**

**"I'll make tea,maybe that'll help. You sleep,better than with coffee specially if your pregnant.**

**Clara thinks I drink to much Coffee"_So does Amy,but_"**

**He said noticing the amused look on her face as she went to sit at the table to join him.**

**He grinned. "I'm rambling again, aren't I ?"**

**"Just a little" she replied.**

**Thinking she wouldn't have it any other way laughing.**

** " Tea will be lovely Thank you"**

**Putting another cup in front of her.**

**"There you go milk,one sugar,right?"**

**"Yes,lovely!" She said sipping it.**

**"I can remember the first cup you made me"**

**"Oh?"_**

**John said looking puzzled,trying to think back.**

**"When you came to stay with me in the London flat " She said.**

**Sorry_ if you don't want_"**

**Thinking he wouldn't want to hear.**

**"No-no,it's alright" **

**He reached across the table for her hand..**

**"I want to hear"**

**Looking at him then,said..**

**"I was sad,because of,well you know,**

**you were going to stay with Rory and his Dad because I couldn't cope_"**

**She smiled at the memory.**

**John nodded. Saying.**

**"I really did misbehave, for you didn't I?"**

**She shook her head..**

**"John,you didn't understand what was happening.**

**Anyway,this day you had decided to be good,felt I needed cheering up**

**So you made me a cup of tea"_**

**"But I wasn't allowed to use the kettle,so used the water from the hot tap,in the bathroom"**

** John finished on a smile.**

**"I remember!"_**

**Pointing at the cup in front of her.**

**Don't worry,I didn't this time**

**"Best one ever" She smiled back at him.**

**"Anyway,thought you didn't like tea?"**

**"Not really," he said sipping at his own.**

** "I have the odd one since Clara got pregnant and started drinking it" **

**Shuddering at the taste.**

**Perhaps it would taste better from the hot tap?"**

**He put the cup down on the table.**

**"Rather have a coffee, like I said, the girls think both Rory and me drink too much of it"**

**They both lapsed into silence,then John suddenly said.**

**"Why didn't you fight for me?"**

**She had closed her eyes. Opening them again,said.**

**" I'm sorry. ****I think it was because of the illness,the depression. I didn't want to leave you. Felt I had no choice "**

**Looking at him.**

**" I really was frightened, John. ****When Mike said that if I lost they wouldn't let me see you at all.**

**I went to pieces.I had just lost your Dad,if I'd lost you as well,don't think I would have wanted to live. I suppose I thought at least I would see you even if only as your Aunt"**

**"I see" John ****said.**

**"It wasn't so much that you left me,I know you loved me, m****y-**** your sister did.**** You were both there for me,loved me_It was HIM_"**

**She looked at John,knowing he would never call him,Dad again,and she didn't want him too.**

**Putting her hand over his on the table as he talked.**

**"He hated me.I didn't understand why,not sure if I do now?"**

**John red eyed.**

**"I was so frightened of him!"**

**"John, he was very devious,good at covering things up. I was there once when he was punishing you. I did tell _tell him,it was wrong.I didn't know,what else to do_!"**

**She said in anguish.**

**"I know,think I remember,some_now"**

**John thinking,how tired she was looking.**

**All these memories coming out were upsetting her as well.**

**"Look,why don't you go back to bed,we can talk more later " **

**"No,I want you to know! I should never have kept this from you!"**

**She was,getting more upset. Standing up quickly,nearly fell grabbing at the table.**

**" Auntie! I mean Mum!" **

**John said panicking as he got up quickly, putting his arm round her.**

**"I'm okay. I like the sound of that !"**

**Touching his face smiling.**

**"Or maybe you think I don't deserve it?"**

**"Well,if you won't go back to bed,sit on the sofa?"**

**"Only if you sit with me" she said.**

**"Alright" Helping her.**

**"Now "_ She said.**

**"Which is it to be? I like Mum"**

** Looking away.**

**"Though maybe you think I don't deserve to be called that?" **

**"No. It's not that"_**

**John said back.**

**"Its going to take some getting use to. I'd like it very much. I-I"_**

**He was starting to cry.**

**"M-mummy!"**

**"John Sweetheart. ****Come here"**

**S****he put her arms round him as he cried. Stroked his head,which was on her shoulder.**

**" Baby,I love you very much,we can't go back,only forwards.W****e still have lots to talk about"**

**John was starting to calm down,now.**

**"I suppose this is a start? You are going to still come home,live at the hotel with me all of you?"**

**"Yes please" Smiling,lifting up his head.**

**"****What**** ?" As she looked at him,touching his face again.**

**"I was thinking how much like your father you are John. I will show you the photos when you come home"**

**That was where Amy found them at eight,when she came down to make the Coffee.**

**Coming back out of the lounge door just as Rory came down the stairs yawning, rubbing his eyes,seeing her face.**

**"What's the matter?"**

** Amy put her finger to her lip,beckoned him over.**

**" Look_" Opened the door again.**

**There was John asleep with his head on Auntie's lap. She had her head on a cushion behind the same. **

**Shutting the door again, Rory said.**

**"How long do you think?"**

**"Few hours,judging by the two cups of cold tea.**

**Bridges being built?"**

**"God. I do hope so"**

**Rory said.**

**"It looks as though they've talked,it might be the start of something"**

**The door opened then,Auntie came out and shut it quietly behind her.**

**"Morning" Rory said nodding his head towards,the door. **

**"John?"_**

**"Still asleep.I'm Sorry you two I think we both must have nodded off about seven,We had talked since half past five"**

**"How is he?" Rory asked.**

** "I think he has started to forgive me,it is going to take some time. I don't deserve it after what I did,but_"**

**"Auntie ..you were bullied into it!"**

**Rory said then.**

**"I'm sure John understands that,you will talk more,find a way,right?"**

**"He has agreed to call me 'Mum'"_**

**"Raggedy man has! Isn't that great Rory?"**

**Amy said putting her arms round him,kissing him.**

**"And there is your start"**

**Rory with arms round his wife.**

**"He's also looking forward to coming home to the hotel,with Clara and Daisy"**

**Auntie said. "Oh I've just realised something"**

**"This is my first Grandchild" She burst into tears.**

**Emotions of the last hours,catching up with her.**

**" Oh Auntie"**

**Said Amy with a look to Rory,going over to her.**

**"That's something to really look forward to" **

**As she put her arms round her.**

**At that moment,Clara came downstairs,yawning.**

**"Anyone seen John? He's not upstairs"**

**The lounge door opened then,John came out,rubbing his eyes and yawning.**

**" What's the matter? Why are you all in the hall? Is she alright? Mum?" **

**Noticing the tears.**

**"Solicitors Convention" Rory said,putting an hand on his shoulder smiling.**

**Well there were three there,even if two had retired he thought and he also noticed John calling her 'Mum'**

**"Can we go and have breakfast now we're all up?"John asked.**

**Auntie,laughed and wiped her eyes,**

**"I'm fine, John. 'you are ****crackers'**** Rory. I'll go and have a shower. Amy these two boys deserve their coffee this morning,for making me smile" She hugged her as she went upstairs.**

**The others went into the lounge,and Amy went in the kitchen to put the kettle on. John went and sat down on the sofa.**

**"You're looking better"**

** Rory said standing in front of him "No dizziness?"**

**"I'm fine" He said to him.**

**"Do you want to take me to the flat today? I need to collect my stuff"**

**When Rory looked worried,he smiled.**

**"Don't worry,I won't collapse on you,now I know what he did to me.I can't keep avoiding places can I?"**

**"Suppose not" Rory continued.**

**"If you're sure? Keep this up,you should be alright to drive on Sunday"**

**Auntie came back in then saying to Rory.**

**" I will have to catch the train back to Tadchester at eleven. If you could run me to the station?"**

** John said. "Do you have to go? Can't you stay longer?"**

**"Much as I'd like to John,I have to get back,Dave will need rescuing from Daisy,besides I will see you both in three days"**

**"Daisy. I bet your Dad is in need of a break by now?"**

**John said to Clara.**

**"Oi ! that's your new daughter!" Clara laughed at him.**

**"I know,and I can't wait for Sunday to see her" He replied.**

**Rory's mobile rang then.**

**"Rory Williams,**

**Hello,Jane,no that's okay,we were up anyway"**

** Amy came over,and he put his arm round her.**

**"We're're all ready for Tom,Saturday morning,ten o clock is fine. We will see you then, looking forward to it,bye" **

**He disconnected the call.**

**"I take it you heard that? Blimey,if we're not ready for this by now,we never will be"**

**"The girls showed me the room you've done out for Tom" **

**Auntie said to him.**

** "l think it's wonderful what you are doing. **

**He's a lovely boy,can't wait to see him again,you'll have to bring him to the hotel to see us when he's settled in"**

**"Well it should be a piece of cake after looking Raggedy Man"**

** Amy said putting a plate of toast in front of John,who was now sat at the table,taking the lid off one of the small pots of marmalade that were there,dipping his fingers in it.**

**"What!?" He said looking up at her,sucking it off his fingers.**

**Shaking her head at him.**

**"Use your knife. I hope you won't do that when Tom comes,don't want him picking up bad habits!"**

**Auntie smiled at the banter between them,knowing John did it to wind Amy up,and wouldn't do that if Daisy or Tom were there. From what she had seen at the hotel,he was very particular with her over table manners,as well as anyone using bad language around her.**

**"That reminds me"Rory said.**

**"We haven't seen Tom's room yet John,we could go up later and set up the racing track thing"**

**Looking at Amy in hope.**

**"Any excuse" Amy sighed.**

**"Okay. I give in you can go play on it later,big kids the pair of you"**

**"Well,I'm going to get dressed" Clara said.**

**"Hang on. Clara_**

** I'll come up with you" John finished off his coffee.**

**"Take you to the station with Rory later,****Mum?"**

**"Yes" she said. "I'd like that"**

**"Come on then,Clara!"**

**Taking her hand. "Thought you were getting dressed? Bags the bathroom first!" kissing her.**

**Following him out into the hall.**

**All they could hear as the door shut was Clara's giggles,and her saying.**

**"Don't kiss me there,John! Your all sticky! Suppose to eat it not spread it all over me!"**

**"Marmalade on Clara," John said."Best part of breakfast,come here!" He chased her up the stairs.**

**Amy looked at Rory open mouthed.**

**"Well,he is definitely better "she said to him.**

**"Sorry about that, Auntie" Rory said to her.**

**"Why?"_she said.**

**"I hope there's going to be lots of that when they move in with me.**

**His father was just the same_"**

**She was blushing at the memory.**

**"Well never mind. I just want him well,happy,needs it after what he as been through.**

**Rory looked at Amy,Auntie was no prude.**

**Upstairs,John and Clara were lay on the bed together.**

**"I thought you wanted the bathroom "she said to him.**

**"In a minute.I want to talk to you Clara.I know you wanted to talk in bed last night, my pills and other things put pay to that"**

**Clara**** said "Can I say something first?"**

**"What?"**

**"You called her,'Mum'-****Auntie?"**

**"Well so she is,yes.I decided to forgive,if not forget.**

**We were both victims of ****him".**** He held on to Clara's hand tighter.**

**"Still have lots to talk about,and I will be seeing Dr Barclay,think it's for the best.**

**We go home on Sunday"_**

**He said brightening up. **

**"Your flat,we will have to stay there,while the top floor is done out"**

**She nodded at him.**

**"I can go back to work?"**

**"Clara,you don't need to work"**

**"It's not a need a want,I'm going to be busy once the baby born, I know,it's now. I'm bored"**

**He looked at her.**

**"If you see Dr Jones,****and**** she says you are well enough, two shifts a week"**

**Clara pulled a face at him,**

**"Three!" she said.**

**"Two, Clara or none, that's my final word on this,besides you have a baby and a wedding to plan for,you are going to be busy enough"**

**"You win,I'll do as I'm told" she said.**

**"That would be a first" he said "Have you thought about the wedding? Where you would like it? You can have a church if you want?**

**Now there is no divorce"**

**"I know" she said,"I have a few ideas,can I tell you when we get back home "to Tadchester? I will have more of an idea then"**

**He looked at her.**

**"If that's,what you want?"he said puzzled.**

**"I'm not trying to keep secrets from you, John, you will like it what I'm thinking of.I can explain better on Sunday" ****she kissed him.**

**"Now if you want to take your Mum to** **the station with Rory,best go and get** **a** **shower,it's nearly ten"**

**He kissed her again.**

**"John,you taste of marmalade. I like it, we don't have time_ "**

**He kissed her again.**

** "John! go"_**

**She pushed him off the bed.**

**"We can carry this on later look" **

**He said,had two of the little jars in his dressing gown pocket!**

**Clara shook her head.**

**"You better go before I change my mind, want more breakfast"**

**John grinned as he went to the door.**

**"Later,I promise"_**

**At half past ten, Auntie hugged Amy saying.**

**"Let me know how it all goes with Tom?"**

**"We will.**

**Look after yourself Auntie" She replied.**

**"I will see you on Sunday" **

**Holding Clara,close to her whispered.**

**"I know you will look after him for me, also this little one" **

**Touching Clara's stomach.**

**"Yes " She said back.**

**"See you Sunday"_**

**Rory said.**

**"We ****will**** have to go,if you want to make that train,Auntie. Amy we'll call at John's flat on the way back,to get his things"**

**Getting to the station for quarter to eleven.**

**Rory said he would wait in the car. As he handed John Auntie's bag,she said.**

**"Look after him for me. I will see you and Amy soon,good luck with Tom"**

**"I don't think even I could get into any trouble in three days!" **

**John said crossly.**

**Rory shook his head at that,keeping his fingers crossed kissing Auntie said..**

**"Don't worry,I ****will**** look after him,see you soon"**

**As John waited on the platform with her,he looked really upset.**

**"Sweetheart,it's only three days,it will pass,quickly..You can help Rory and Amy settle Tom in. Keep busy?**

**Besides,you've also got to pack your things?"**

**"Most of its done,that's why we are going to my flat now" **

**He replied.**

**"Then Rory is going to make arrangements to sell it and furniture,including the writing desk"**

**He looked at her.**

**"You don't mind that I'm selling it do you? It was your parents,I can't" He shook his head.**

**"John" She said.**

**"I understand that you don't want to be reminded,its only furniture. Would have**** been yours.**

**Sell it,buy new,for you and Clara,something modern?"**

** There was an announcement for the Tadchester train.**

**"That's me! Now behave yourself,John,I mean it"**

**Touching his face. Wiping away a tear.**

**"See you in three days. I love you!"**

**"Yes, Mum" Throwing his arms round her tearfully.**

**"Give Daisy our love? I love you!"**

** The doors closed,he stood until it pulled away.**

**John wiped his eyes it was ****three ****days****? He was just being silly.**

**It was probably the emotion of the last twenty four hours,perhaps even the pills? Squaring his shoulders,went out to the car park back to Rory.**

**Looking up as John came back to the car,said to him.**

**"Everything okay? Put her on the right train?"**

**John got back in the car.**

**"Course I ****bloody**** did"**

**"John"He said gently,could tell he was upset,near tears.**

**"It was a joke,mate!"**

**John closed his eyes.**

**"Yes,yes it was,didn't mean to snap.**

**Sorry_****Can we go to the flat now?"**

**"Right"_**

**Rory said pulling out of the car park.**

**Ten minutes later they were outside John's flat.**

**"You are sure about this?"**

**He said to John turning off the engine. **

**"I can go in and get them,after all its only two ****suitcases,****couple of boxes"**

**"No. I need to finish this" John replied.**

**"Can't keep avoiding things,like I said should be easier now I know.I still want everything sold right?"**

**"I will sort it next week.**

**When you've gone home,Estate agents and furniture valuers?"**

**"I can do this"**

** John said he wondered who he was trying to convince himself or Rory.**

**Getting out of the car,they went up to the door.**

**John let them in with his key.**

**Things were as,they left them a few days ago,when he had his turn.**

**He looked over at the writing desk,John shivered.**

**"John?" Rory said.**

**"I'm alright,not going to zone out on you" He smiled.**

**"In fact,I don't care I know that he's,nothing to me,it doesn't matter"**

**"You're sure?" Rory replied back.**

**"All that ****matters**** is the future with ****'Mum'****. **

**Then there's Clara,Daisy,the baby.**

**No-one is going to take that from me, **

**Shall we get this in the car and go?"**

**P****ointing to the suit cases and boxes near the door.**

**"Okay,if you want" **

**Rory said to him.**

**"I'll go open the boot,when we get back,put these straight in your car"**

**John said then.**

**"Rory?"**

**"Yes?"**

**"Thanks for this,I'm not frightened about being here anymore,need to get away from the bad memories"**

**"I understand"**

**Rory patted him on the shoulder as he passed him to open the front door and take the first case to the car.**

**By the time they had loaded the car,and locked the front door,John was looking happier.**

**"Here" **

** He said. Handing his keys over to Rory.**

** "For the Estate Agent,you have the spares,don't want to see the place ever again!"**

**"You should get a good price for it"**

**Rory said to him as they drove back the house,then loaded everything into the other car that was in Rory's garage ready for Sunday.**

**"I just want it off my hands" John replied.**

**"You know,better than me what flats are going for"**

**"He owes you big time! "Rory said.**

** "For what he put you through. I will do my ****best**** to get the ****best**** price for you to plan what you want to do with the hotel"**

**"Thanks,mate!" John smiled at him.**

**Changing the subject.**

**"Did you say something about setting up the racing track in Tom's room?"**

**Rory grinned back.**

**"We'll have a quick coffee,then get upstair before Amy changes her mind.**

**Don't winded her up by asking what 'mind' okay?**

**"Would I do that?" John asked.**

**"Yes" Rory replied as they locked both cars,then the garage before going back into the house.**

**_"You would.."**

**Both the girls were in the lounge.**

**"Did Auntie get the train okay?" Amy asked.**

**" She did" John said.**

**" All my stuff is out of the flat,don't have to see that ****place ****ever ****again****."**

**"That's good then" She continued looking over at Rory.**

**"Right"Rory said.**

**"Coffee,then we'll set up the racing car tracks" **

**He walked off to the kitchen followed by Amy.**

**"Is John alright?" She asked him.**

**Rory turned round to her.**

**"Amy,he might seems bitter at the moment it's not hard to understand why.I don't think it is directed at Auntie,or even us, it's_"**

**Pushing his hand through his hair,thinking.**

**"With what he found out yesterday,about well you know who,I don't like it any more than he does with how they were both treated"**

**"You don't think he will flip again do you?" she asked.**

**" I Shouldn't think so, he realises that if he does,he won't be going home and there will be no wedding. It would also upset Clara. At the moment,he needs his family and I think he is willing to make it up with his M****um****.Even wants to see Dr Barclay next week!"**

** He laughed. "You know what John was like about Doctors?"**

**"Oi, I thought we were going to set this track thing up for Tom!" **

**Came an irate voice from the lounge.**

**"Okay-coming!" Rory said walking back into the lounge with a cup in each hand followed by Amy,he handed one to John.**

**"Well,go on then the pair of you,before I change my mind" She said.**

**John opened his mouth_**

**"Don't you dare!" Rory said between his teeth.**

**"I've still got to live here when you've gone home"**

**John grinned and headed for the stairs.**

**"Come on Clara,feet up time"**

**Amy said to her.**

** "There's a good film on this afternoon,we can turn the volume up,so we won't hear the swearing"**

**"Who's going to swear!" Rory said following John,but looked back at his wife.**

**Amy looked at him with her arms,folded not believing it.**

**" You do when one piece doesn't fit into the other,last time you did a jigsaw Rory,you threatened to throw it out of the window,saying it was defective!"**

**"I've got a secret weapon, 'John'that's,why I'm doing it now rather than when he's gone home,like the Tv player, I don't know one end from the other,he's good at putting things together"**

**Clara was sat on the sofa with her feet up.**

**" I'm keeping out of this,where's the chocolate,Amy?"**

**"What chocolate!" John said coming back downstairs.**

**"It's mine!"Clara said pouting at him.**

**"You and Rory are playing with your toys,I'm having chocolate.**

**If you're good I'll save you some"**

**"Aw,rather have it now"**

**John said coming over to kiss her.**

**Pulling him down to her level by his shirt collar said.**

**"I know,what you'd rather have now,and its not chocolate"**

**"Just YOU wait till I get you up to that bedroom Clara Oswald.**

**I've one thing to say to 'you marmalade"**

**Rory was stood near the stairs. Said in high amusement.**

**"Will you put him down,Clara or it will be Saturday and Tom will be here"**

**"Okay Rory"**

**She laughed.**

**John gave Clara a final kiss whispering."Later" **

**Going upstairs, they spent a good afternoon putting the racing track together.**

**For all that Amy said,and maybe it was because John knew what he was doing,there was no swearing!**

**When she went up with fresh coffee for them both about two hours later,after the film finished.**

**There was racing track leading from one attic bedroom to the other across the landing.**

**"WHAT_on earth do you think you're doing!?"**

**She exclaimed,putting the cups down on the window ledge.**

**"Now ****Pond-****" John started to say,seeing her face- " it looks more than it is"**

**"I'm going to be the one swearing!"**

**Amy said,looking to him.**

**"Why is it across the landing,into the other room? How is Daisy going to get in and out of there?"**

**"Yes about that " **

**John said to her.**

**"Thanks for doing the room for her,she will really love staying here with you and Rory"**

**Amy was stood with her hands on her hips in the middle of the landing with tracks all round her.**

**"Don't you change the subject Raggedy Man"**

**"RORY****!"_**

**She was yelling for him as he came out of Tom's bedroom.**

**"What have you been up to?.When you two are together you're like two kids in a toy shop.I want this taking up,apart what ever!"**

**"But. Amy!" Rory was starting to say.**

**"NOW!"She was thundering at them.**

**"****Pond****" John was saying calmly to her.**

**"Look its not a problem,it's in sections that come apart,then it can be stored under a bed,when it's not being played with.**

**Tom can just play with part of it if he wants.**

**Rory can clip it together or take it apart,it's easy enough,even for him"**

**"Oi_" Rory said.**

**"Well,that's alright then."she replied**

** "We can't keep climbing over things,do it now please,as I'm going to start dinner soon"**

**Can't we ****play**** until then?" John pouted at her.**

**"Don't be daft. I know what you two are like when you start 'playing' with your toys,we won't see you until tomorrow.**

**Put it away now,please"**

**"Aw-Pond !"**

** John said."We were going to try the cars on it"**

**"Look you will probably play on it Saturday with Tom"**

**She closed her eyes shook her head.**

**"What am I saying,you two probably won't let him near it.!"**

**Now put it all away please,then come downstairs.**

**Clara's forgotten what you look like Raggedy man! You've been up here that long"**

**She went down the stairs.**

**"And don't pull that face at me !" She said popping back-up. **

**John stuck his tongue out at her.**

**"I saw that Raggedy Man!"**

**She went back down.**

**Rory grinned.'oh yes' He liked times like this.**

**He still had some way to go,but the old John was back! **

**A/N**

**So John is getting better.**

**and as talked to his Mum.**

**Next Tom arrives.**

**And John and Clara return home.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 48**

**Saturday Morning**

**The day had arrived at last!**

**Amy was if anything nervous even though she knew it was Tom.**

**She had spent the previous day cleaning everything in sight,even though it was already pristine... had also gone mad,with Clara's help baking cakes and biscuits that he might like.**

**Rory appeared cool on the outside, inside he was ****bricking**** it...What if Tom didn't like him?**

**It was Clara who gave him the best advice,that if he could look after John at three,thirty years ago,and now.**

**Not to mention all the nightmares he'd had since,plus the help he was still giving him,he could look after an eight year old boy...**

**By quarter to ten,every thing was ready. Amy was walking up and down the lounge waiting for the doorbell to ring. Clara looked at John, he got up from his chair.**

**"Amelia" he said, "will you calm down" stopping her in her pacing "Everything will be fine,you know Tom,he liked you last time he was here."**

**"Will it,be fine,though a baby is one thing, an eight year old..? "She asked him.**

**John put his arms round her,looking at Clara over Amy's head.**

**"I was terrified when I first met Daisy,I admit I didn't know anything about kids,wasn't even sure if I liked them.I wouldn't be without her now,and I can't wait until tomorrow to see her.**

**You just have to take it one day at a time,okay?"**

**She nodded.**

**He kissed her forehead...then the door bell rang.**

**Amy gave a little squeal against him..**

**"Calmly, Pond" he said giving her a little push towards the door.**

**As she went down the hall to answer it, Rory said.**

**"Thanks Mate..."**

**"She'll be fine,and so will you,"he nodded "go on,say hello,see you in a minute"**

**Rory smiled and then followed Amy into the hall.**

**Clara came over to John,he put his arms round her.**

**" I can't wait to see her as well " she said,"Daisy..."**

**"It was right what I told Pond...I wasn't sure I liked kids, Daisy changed all that."**

**"I know!" she said to him. Kissing him.."I remember that first day,at the hotel... nearly bit my head off when I asked you if you knew how,to work the computer..."**

**Thinking back,John said...**

**"I was determined not to like you! Think I do now!"**

**"Should think you do..."Clara said looking down to her 'bump'.**

**John laughed at that.**

**Amy came back then holding on to Tom's hand.**

**Rory was behind her with Jane.**

**"Now this is Uncle John and Auntie Clara,do you remember?"**

**Tom nodded shyly, John took his hand.**

**"Hello again,Tom,you remember me from the park?"**

**"Daisy's Daddy?" Is she here?" he said looking round for her.**

**"Not at the moment,she doesn't live here,we're only visiting Auntie Amy and Uncle Rory."John looked up at Amy...she nodded at him encouraging.**

**"Auntie Clara and me live somewhere else, we will be bringing Daisy for a visit in two weeks,that'll be good won't it?"**

**Jane was watching the interaction between them all with interest. Amy said to her,**

**"Would you like to sit down for a coffee, Jane?" They all sat at the table.**

**"Yes", Rory said to her,"have some of the cakes and biscuits...Amy and Clara have been baking up a storm...**

**...are you hungry,Tom? He noticed him looking at the plates of cakes and biscuits that were set out on the table. Help yourself to what you like...it's okay..."**

**When he still hesitated,Rory got a plate and putting a couple each of the cakes and biscuits on it,put them in front of him.**

**"Here you go,you better get in before Uncle John does...they'll be none left,if he gets there first."**

**John put his tongue out at him,and Tom giggled...**

**Amy put a tray of coffee down on the table,and a tea for Clara.**

**"You have gone off coffee then,Clara?"**

**Jane asked her...**

**"Yes,the smell makes me feel queasy at the moment." She said.**

**"I was just the same,"she continued."I recognise the symptoms"**

**"It's the other way round when I'm not pregnant" Clara said.**

**"You have,children, Jane?" John asked her.**

**"Yes,two girls...3 and 5, the days when social workers were middle aged spinster are long gone" she said.**

**Tom who had ate his way through the plate of cakes and biscuits,and was now drinking a glass of Orange,suddenly piped up,looking over at Clara.**

**"Is there a baby in your tummy?"**

**Rory,coughed into his coffee...it went down the wrong way...**

**John hitting him on the back was trying to keep a straight face...**

**Jane said,"Now,Tom... it's not very polite to ask a**

**question like that,especially to someone you've just met..I'm sorry,Clara"**

**"No,that alright,Jane...Tom,do want to come over and see?" She put out her hand.**

**"He got up and came round the table to Clara...she put his hand on her stomach..**

**"It's not very big at the moment,the baby as to stay in there until it's ready to come out..."**

**"Is that for a long time?" He asked,wide eyed.**

**"Let me see,could be just before Father Christmas comes"Clara said.**

**" My birthday is on 23 December" he replied,"will it be by then?"**

**"It should be, Uncle John and me will have to get you something nice."**

**"Now, Rory, Amy I have to ask you to sign some paperwork,"**

**Clara got up from the table,with Tom's help.**

**" Thank you sweetheart,tell you what Tom, there's some nice new reading and drawing books for you over there on the table.**

**Shall we go and have a look?" **

**Holding Clara's hand,Tom went into the lounge with her. John followed them. ..and Amy mouthed "Thanks!"**

**"This is the boring part," Jane smiled at them both. "It's just to say you agree to foster Tom..for an initial time.**

**There is also a list of dos and don't, phone numbers for the office,the school.**

**By the way,the school will let you bring him in from Tuesday,this week because of settling him in. **

**The department still remains his legal guardian even while you are fostering him, but...if all is well...that could change...are you both happy with that?"**

**They both looked at each other and then signed,**

**"Rory Williams..Amelia Williams"**

**"Now,enjoy him...he will soon settle down...Right,time for me to go I think...give you chance to show him round?" Going over to him where he was drawing in the lounge.**

**"Tom,I'm going home now..." he shot up and came over throwing his arms round her.**

**"Don't go,please..!" he was getting tearful...**

**Rory and Amy looked at the scene in front of them.**

**"Tom,I have to get back to my little girls.**

**You are going to have lots of fun...with all these new Auntie's and Uncles...I bet they have lots of things for you... to do?"**

**"Lots of things" Rory said..**

**"Want to come with you..."**

**"Ow..!".Clara, said trying to get out of her chair.**

**"Clara.!"..John said wide eyed, shaking her head at him,she didn't look in pain.**

**"Auntie Clara, are you okay?" Tom asked running back over to her.**

**"I thought you were going to stay here and look after me?" she said. "Help Auntie Amy,because I can't at the moment"**

**"I will for a while," he said "Can I come home tomorrow if I don't like it here?" He said to Jane looking back at her.**

**"Well, we'll see,"she said to him "Tell you what,I'll phone up tomorrow and you can tell me what you have been up to."**

**Amy said, "I will see you out...Jane"**

**When she saw her to the door said to her.**

**"Don't look so upset,Amy,I expected this by tomorrow he will be settled."**

**"John and Clara are going home tomorrow,what if he wants to go with them!"**

**"I don't think he will...and then there is their daughter's visit in two weeks...something for him to look forward to...look I get this all the time in placements.**

**Tom is a very caring boy...which is why he is curious about Clara...let him look after her.I'll see you soon,any real problems you have my number" **

**Amy shut the door behind her and went back to lounge.**

**Clara looked up she came in,**

**"Amy I hope you didn't think that I was taking over?"**

**She put her arms round her,**

**"Course not..it was quick thinking on your part,thank you,we have just got to help him settle in"**

**Tom came over then.**

**"Auntie Amy,"**

**"Yes,sweetheart,"she said.**

**"I need the loo"**

**She noticed he was dancing from one leg to the other...**

**"Come on,I will show you where it is"**

**As Amy took him to the downstairs cloak room.**

**John looked over at Clara...**

**" 'Bloody hell' **** D****on't do that again,Clara...I thought something was wrong with the baby..."**

**"Sorry... spur of the moment" she said.**

**Then he said to Rory..."Oh, your face"**

**"What...?"**

**" Tom asking Clara if there was a baby in there...you are going to get a lot of that,mate...like ****where**** do baby's come from!"**

**"Right. I'll just refer him to you then...shall I? Uncle John knows...I'll tell him.." Rory said."if that baby is a girl,you'll get out of it because Clara will have to explain to Daisy as well,!"**

**"I know"**

**"He won't "Clara said,"because I will make sure the next one is a boy...**

**"How?" John asked**

**"Well,there is still a 50-50 chance yet and I'll figure it out before the next one! l might even get you to tell Daisy!"**

**"Blimey..let's have this one first,Clara!?" John said putting his hand through his hair**

**" Besides, do you want to scar the poor girl for life, Clara?" Rory said."Asking John to give a talk about the birds and bees..."**

**Amy came back holding Tom by the hand.**

**"Shall we go up and show Tom his room?"she said to them.**

**They all went up to the first landing.**

**"There is a bathroom on this floor as well as that one I've just taken you to downstairs" opening the door to show him.**

**"That room there " pointing "is Uncle Rory and my room,just in case you need us in the night,anytime."**

**Going up the next flight of stairs,and opening the door to the bedroom.**

**"And,this is your room..."**

**Tom looked round in,amazement...**

**"This is for me?"he said"who do I have to share it with?" **

**Amy looked over at Rory...**

**"No-one,sweetheart,this is,all for you,the room next door is for Daisy though,when she comes in a couple of weeks to stay.**

**All these games you'll be able to play with her and watch the TV.**

**You will have to share this bathroom though"Opening the door to it.**

**"I have to share with Ryan at the children's home, he snores though..." Tom said.**

**"Perhaps you should share with Uncle John then!" he does sometimes." Rory said.**

**"... And keep telling you, I don't!" John said.**

**Rory raised an eyebrow at this old argument.**

**"Do you want to unpack your things?"Amy asked Tom.**

**Rory had brought his small bag,up with him and put it on the bed, there was also a carrier bag,with a few bits and pieces of toys and books in. Amy was sure it was the bag she had put the leftovers in last week.. She opened the zip...**

**"No..."Tom said pushing her hand away,"I can do it...these are mine..."**

**Amy bit her lip...**

**"Course they are, sweetheart, I just thought you would like some help?"**

**"Tell you what,Clara ... John said, "how about a nap...bet you could do with one?" He nodded to the door.**

**"Yes,.."she yawned, taking the hint "the baby needs one as well...I will see you later,Tom she said.**

**"Kay..." he said eyes following them to the door.**

**Outside, he said to her...**

**"It's best to let Amy and Rory settle him in,so he gets use to them on their own,we can't have him getting to depended on us,especially as we're going home tomorrow"**

**"I know,"she said,"I'm sorry,I thought I was helping...Clara had her head down with tears in her eyes...**

**"Oh,Clara,darling,you are...you did! " he said lifting her chin up for her to look at him,"but he needs to get use to Amy and Rory first,especially Amy,as she will be the one having the most to do with him.**

**He put his,arm round her,**

**" Come on,let's go and have that nap..."**

**"Not really tired" she said looking at him,"Oh...I see..."as he smiled wickedly at her...**

**"Well it is our last night here..."he said.**

**"It's not night..." She said...**

**..."What am I saying...John Smith '****you'**** have a bottomless list of excuses to get me in to bed,what number is that one!?"**

**"23..." he said picking her up and carrying her down the stairs to their bedroom...**

**Meanwhile**

**Tom was taking things from his bag and putting them in the drawers.**

**Amy glanced at Rory,there didn't seem to be much.**

**She picked up the empty carrier bag too fold it up...**

**"No..."Tom said,grabbing it back from her...That's mine!**

**"Now Tom...we do not snatch like that,no one is taking it away from you" Rory said to him.**

**"Rory...! it's alright" Amy said.**

**"No It's not.."he replied looking at her and then back at Tom. "Auntie Amy is just tidying up,it's what she does...what ever is in this room is yours,if something needs putting away,she will do it..okay, she won't pinch anything that isn't hers...right?"**

**"Yes..." Tom said in a small voice,"I'm sorry"**

**"That's alright, sweetheart,now what would you like to do?" She asked.**

**Looking towards,the TV player Tom said,**

**"Could I watch the cartoons please? I like Spider-Man" Rory looked pleased at that,because he had chosen it.**

**"Come on then" he said, putting the DVD in the player, **

**"One only then how about Uncle John and me take you to the park,there's a new football for you in the cupboard over there"**

**"For me?" He said sitting on the bed.**

**"Yes...all for you,"Rory replied ruffling his hair,"Auntie Amy and me will be downstairs when the cartoon goes off bring the football down with you,and we'll go...I'll see if I can round up Uncle John"**

**Amy followed him downstairs,**

**"Rory,"she said "Did you see how little he had?"**

**"Yes,I know...poor kid...I think that is,why he was so possessive about what he does have,First thing Monday,we take him shopping,stuff for school,what ever else he needs okay?"**

**"Yes," she said."Did you have to tell him off though?"**

**"Now, Amy..it wasn't a real telling off,we start as we mean to go on,right? Or he will walk all over us. He probably has had far worst from that Dad of his"**

**Amy looked at him and the determined look on his face,Rory was no soft touch,as he had more than proved dealing with John,especially over the last month.**

**By this time they were back in the lounge,walking through to the kitchen,they found John sat at the table with ****a coffee****.**

**"Where's Tom?"**

**"Watching...Spider-man,"Amy replied. "Clara?"**

**"Asleep..."he replied, thinking what they had just been up to..."she did need a nap after all!"**

**"Er..John...mate..." Rory started to say.**

**"What...?"looking at him with suspicion...**

**He sat down at the table...**

**"How are you fixed for a game of football at the park with Tom and me? Good practice for when you get home with Daisy?"**

**"Daisy doesn't play football,Clara says,she doesn't like to get dirty..." he said."you don't have to try and get round me...I'd like to come" he looked up then...**

**"Amy...are you okay?"**

**"I'm fine",she said turning round from the counter where she had been making drinks for her and Rory.**

**"I know you...'Amelia ****Pond' he said "What is it?"**

**Turning round both of the men noticed she had fresh tears in her eyes...**

**"It's just...Tom...seeing how little he had in those bags"**

**Rory got up went and put his arms round her...**

**"Amy try not to get upset we will sort it okay?" Looking at John, **

**"He's going to need everything,hardly got a change of clothes,and only one pair of pyjamas by the looks of it! I don't go back to work until Tuesday,so we are going to take him shopping..."**

**John took his wallet out of his pocket,**

**" Here..." giving Rory £50...**

**"We don't need anything..."he started to say.**

**"I know, buy Tom something nice,from Clara and me...he's going to be our family too..right?"**

**"Course he is!" Amy replied going over to hug him..." Thank you Raggedy man"**

**"Yeah..thanks mate"Rory said to him."He does seem to like spider-man"**

**John looked up suddenly... towards the door.**

**"Hello there..ready for a game of football ?"**

**Tom was stood there with a football in his hands.**

**He nodded,then said,**

**"Where's Auntie Clara?"**

**"She's asleep at the moment " John replied, "but should be up when we get back from the park. The baby makes her very tired.**

**Tom nodded, then said "**

**"I will help, she can put her feet up and rest"**

**John looked at Amy,he hoped that they were not in for tears and tantrums when it was time to leave tomorrow,then again,it was hardly Clara's fault.**

**"Well,I think you should go and run off some of that energy"Amy bent down to Tom's level" Then you can have some lunch when you get back...How about hamburgers?"**

**..."with chips..?" he asked.**

**" Me too!"Rory said.**

**"Don't forget the chips...Pond!" John said "me three..."**

**" Go on then...one hour...and I mean...one hour,not ****two**** John." Amy said,remembering the day they first met Tom...**

**"Tell Rory,then he's the one with the watch,!"**

**"Oi where's yours!" Rory said.**

**"Upstairs, I don't want to disturb Clara"**

**"Will you two pack it in...and go? It's like I've got three kids...no ****two ****big ****ones..**** and one very well behaved one"Amy said with her arm round Tom.**

**"Auntie Amy,why don't you smack them" Tom said.**

**"****Don't ****tempt ****me****" Amy said under her breath,but said to him..."No,we don't do things like that, sweetheart,we talk to them first"**

**"Alright, are we going..." Rory said picking up the football."Come on John." **

**"Coming..." John said He took hold of Tom's hand."you're, in goal,Rory"**

**"I think you should be!" he shook her head at them both.**

**"We could take it in turns" she heard Tom say as the door closed behind them.**

**Amy had just sat down with a coffee and her feet up,when Clara came into the lounge,rubbing her eyes,and yawning..**

**"Hello,sleepy head!" Amy said..."Are you okay?"**

**"Fine,now,where are the boys?" She replied.**

**"Taken Tom to the park for a game of football"**

**"Okay...I think John is right when we get back to the hotel,Two shifts a week will be enough on reception,I can hardly keep my eyes open,now".**

**"Oh..."Amy said,"I thought that was something else as well..." she smiled at Clara who went slightly pink.**

**"Well "she said back to her,"John wants to and at the moment he's happy and that's all I want" she paused.**

**"Hope I want to in the next few months,might be difficult as I get bigger!"**

**"I'm sure you will find a way"Amy said,"Raggedy Man is very resourceful!"**

**"Amy?"she said.**

**"Hmm!"Amy had her eyes closed.**

**"Do you think what happened to John's..mother,could happen to me,after the baby's born? Post natel depression? I'm worried..."**

**Amy's eyes shot open..."Clara,I don't think it's something you can ****inherit,**

**it's lots to do with hormones.**

**Have you said anything to John about this?"**

**"No..and I don't want him to know,either,please. Amy forget what I said,I'm just being silly!"**

**Amy got up and came over and sat next to her on the sofa,taking her hand.**

**"It's not silly,and if you won't tell John,why not tell Dr Jones when you go for your next check up.I think what happened to Auntie was just circumstance...just because she gave away John doesn't mean you will do the same,or get sick"**

**"You won't say anything to John,will you?" Clara,said to her,**

**"He's going to have lots on in the next two months,with the hotel and the wedding,plus he needs to get to know his Mum again."**

**"I won't if you promise you will speak to Dr Jones,or ring me when you get home if you are worried about anything...I won't even tell Rory...girl talk...okay!" Amy replied.**

**Clara smiled at that...**

**"I will be seeing Dr Jones next week,I will talk to her , I can't keep running to you,all the time. You are going to be busy with Tom..."**

**"Clara...I will always make time for you,"she said**

**"Promise me you will ring me when you've seen her,right? "Rory's not the only one that can sort two things at once!"Besides...Tom should be settled by then."**

**Clara smiled...**

**"I will thanks,Amy,you have put my mind at rest"**

**"Suddenly there was a banging and running of feet...getting up and walking to the door, Amy said.**

**"Looks like the boys are back...oh my God"...**

**"What..." Clara said.**

**There was John and Rory with Tom...covered in mud!**

**"You cheated..".John was saying to Rory " That last one was definitely a goal!"**

**"No it wasn't...!"Rory said..**

**"Why have you brought half the field back in with you?" Amy asked them with hands on hips,stood in the kitchen doorway.**

**"Upstairs,now...shower...!" Pointing.**

**"But pond...you promised chips..." John protested.**

**"Shower first..."Amy said.**

**"Clara..." he tried.**

**"Don't you come near me,like that" Clara said backing away from him,trying to keep a straight face...**

**"Shower John" she also pointed to the door.**

**"Women!" He said,going up the stairs in disgust.**

**"Rory you'd better put Tom in his pyjamas,when you've showered him..then I can wash the ones he's wearing,until Monday"**

**"Right...Come on Tom.."**

**"Auntie Amy...I'm sorry I've got dirty.."Tom said.**

**"Oh no,sweetheart,it's fine." I'm not cross not with you" your Uncles should know better."She bent down to kiss him on the head. "Did you have a good time?"**

**"Oh,yes!" he said taking hold of Rory's hand."It was great...Amy smiled at that.**

**"Chips and hamburgers soon as you are all clean again"**

**A/N**

**So Tom as arrived.**

**John and Clara go home.**

**She will see Dr Jones.**

**Clara will let John Know**

**What kind of wedding she**

**wants.**

**Please read and review**

**Thanks...**


	49. Chapter 49

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 49**

**Tom made his way through hamburger and chips,then two cakes and two biscuits.**

**John when he had came down again from his shower and had stopped sulking,ate his own hamburger and chips,abate a smaller portion,grinned,**

**"Blimey,Pond...has he got hollow legs? though I suppose even you couldn't ruining a hamburger...!**

**Amy,who was in the utility room,next to the kitchen, sorting Tom's clothes for the next washing load, stuck her head out the door.**

**"Well,I noticed you didn't complain about yours**

**Raggedy Man" she said noticing the empty plate on the side.**

**"Well,I was hungry...it was hard work running round at the park..." he said.**

**"Yes, half of it you and Rory brought back with you! Both of your clothes are in there now!" She pointed to the washing machine.**

**"I'd a good mind to get you to do it but..." she poked him in the chest,"you would leave half the mud in and knacker up my machine"**

**"Now,would I do that Pond?"**

**"Yes...you have before,when you did that cross country run for that charity Masters was sponsoring a few years back...Rory and you just threw everything in and turned it on. "She sat down on the sofa next to Clara.**

**"Oh,yeah..."recognition dawned on John's face...he smiled.**

**"It wasn't funny, John...!" turning to Clara,"I was visiting my parents in Leadworth,I came back to a machine and a floor full of mud..."**

**"Oh John.."Clara said trying to keep a straight face.**

**"Well,we didn't think the mud would clog it up!" he replied.**

**"I noticed you didn't use Sue's at the flat...Oh,I'm sorry..I shouldn't have said...John,I.." she looked at him,in anguish...**

**"Amy..." John said,"it doesn't matter" **

**He came over and knelt down touching her face. " you can say her name,it doesn't hurt" glancing over at Clara and taking her hand in his,she smiled and nodded at him.**

**"We can't keep walking on egg shells" he said,"it's part of my past and if I'm going to get well,I will have to talk about it,and not just to Dr Barclay...Right"**

**Amy threw her arms round him.**

**"Ouf!" Pond! " he said as he fell backwards on to the floor with Amy on top of him...**

**"Auntie Amy," said a voice ,"why are you and Uncle John on the floor?"Are you wrestling?"**

**"No, Amy said,"I am going to give him a good tickling for bringing all that mud into my house,do you want to help,sweetheart?"**

**Tom's eyes lit up...**

**"YES" he jumped in on top of them...**

**Rory came in then saying.**

**"I've had my shower and both bathrooms are mud free..." to find John on the floor with his wife and Tom on top of him.**

**"Stop it..stop it..I give in...! Rory get them off me...No! ow!... Clara..!" he appealed to her...**

**"Don't look at me John..."Clara said "if it wasn't for the baby,I'd be down there as well.!"**

**"Amy,any chance of lunch?" Rory asked,"I'm starving"**

**"There you go, Raggedy Man" Amy said giving him a kiss on the cheek, "saved by Rory's stomach."**

**Tom got up and helped Amy to her feet,**

**"That was fun..!" he said grinning...following her into the kitchen.**

**John was still lay on the floor with his eyes closed...**

**"John,mate are you okay?" Rory asked.**

**John opened one eye..."Has it stopped yet?"**

**"Why do you want some more?" Amy called across from the kitchen,where she was making Rory's hamburger,with Tom's help.**

**"NO..!"John shot up.."I need the bathroom after that" he headed upstairs.**

**Rory looked at Clara, who was laughing,**

**"What's going on?"**

**"Amy was telling us about John and you blocking her washing machine with mud a couple of years,ago...after a charity run...?"**

**Rory smiled.**

**"Yes,I remember"**

**"Well,she mentioned,Sue and thought John might have got upset,but he didn't,then she decided with Tom's help to 'punish' John for bringing the mud in"**

**"I see," Rory said "what about me? I brought some in as well"**

**"Well you cleaned up" Amy said putting a plate with Hamburger and chips on the table for him.**

**As he sat down to eat,she whispered in his ear...**

**"Beside, I can think of a more suitable punishment for you in bed tonight..."**

**Later...8****pm**

**Tom was sat between Amy and Rory on the sofa,they were watching the television.**

**Tom was yawning and rubbing his eyes.**

**"Tom,I think it's time for bed,sweetheart"Amy said to him.**

**"No...don't want to...want to stay here...it's nice..." He yawned again.**

**"How about a story?"She said "You could choose from one of your new books?"**

**"Kay" Tom said to her "Could Auntie Clara and Uncle John read it please?"**

**"If you like,"Amy looked over at John who was sat over in one of the armchairs,with Clara on his knee.**

**He nodded at her that it was,alright.**

**"Let Uncle Rory take you up and tuck you in" John called over "then I'll bring Auntie Clara up,it's time she was in bed as well"**

**Clara,looked at him saying... "It is...?"**

**Rory got up from the sofa,Tom kissed Amy and put his arms round her.**

**"Night,Auntie Amy...I love you..."**

**"Love you too sweetheart..."she replied.**

**Tom took Rory's hand and walked with him,out of the lounge and up the stairs.**

**"Amy,are you okay?" Clara asked her.**

**Amy was sat on the sofa still with her hand on her cheek where Tom had kissed her.**

**"He said he loved me" she said tearfully.**

**"So,he does" John said getting up as Clara got off his knee.**

**Sitting down next to her on the sofa, put his arm round her.**

**"Amy... you don't mind him asking for Clara and me to read the story do you?"**

**Amy,shook her head...**

**"No-no,it's not that John,it's just I'm worried about how he is going to react,when you both go home tomorrow"**

**"So am I Pond. Look,do you want me to explain to him? In one way,it might be a good thing that we are going home...you can get him into a routine before we come back in two weeks?"**

**Amy looked at him...**

**"Do you think you could,Raggedy Man?"**

**"I can try "he said,"In one way Pond,this may work out for the best" he got up. "Come on Clara,time for bed...you're tired"**

**"I am?" ... Clara said as he helped her to her feet.**

**"Yes,time for a story then we're going to bed,least that's,what I'm going to tell Tom!"**

**Going upstairs,they met Rory on the landing,as he came out of Tom's room.**

**"He's all tucked up,"he said...going passed them to go back down to Amy.**

**John touched him on the shoulder,**

**"Rory...you know we're not trying to take over don't you?"**

**"Course..then,why would he want me,when Uncle John was the one who rescued him in the park?"**

**"Don't be silly," John replied "I'm not going to tell an eight year old kid 'Oh you can't have a story read by Uncle John or even Auntie Clara,because the person that you really should be thinking of to do it is Uncle Rory and he's jealous"**

**Rory's head shot round quickly,as he stood at the top of the stairs..**

**"What...!" I am not" he said.**

**"No?" John said, giving him a look. "Rory I won't be here tomorrow,even if I was you can't ask children to play favourites**_**,**_** it doesn't work like that."**

**"Look you two...can we discuss this later when Tom's asleep?" Clara said.**

**"Fine,"Rory said,going downstairs...John watched him go.**

**"Oh heck..."Turning to Clara..."l didn't mean to.."**

**"I know...look this is all new,to Rory,and not everyone takes to it as someone not a million miles from here..."**

**"What...me?" John replied.**

**"Hmm!" Clara said with her arms round him.**

**"Seeing how you are,with Daisy,also the miscarriage might be still on his mind as well**_**.**_**Look let's see to Tom and then you can go and have a word with Rory,right?"**

**"Okay.."**

**Tom was in bed and had the book open at the page he wanted the story from...**

**"Uncle John,can I have this one please"**

**"What's that then,mate..." taking the book from him.**

**"Don't you want "Auntie Clara to read it to you?"**

**"Oh no..."she said "You're Grand Story Master tonight...I'm tired."**

**"Right,"John said remembering what he said downstairs.**

**Picking up the book..."Oh I know this one...its one of Daisy's" Looking at Clara. "Why don't you and the baby get on the bed with Tom?" He put his hand out to help her on.**

**John started to read a tale of warriors and princesses...doing all the voices...When he came to the end of the chapter...he closed the book..**

**"Aw! Uncle John more please,it was just getting good."**

**"No tomorrow,Tom,besides," he glanced at Clara," who was nearly asleep herself.**

**"I want to talk to you"**

**Tom looked over at him.**

**Clara,was sat next to him on the bed,with her arm round him.**

**Taking Tom's hand in his.**

**"Do you remember when you came with Jane this morning that only Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy lived here?"**

**Tom nodded at him.**

**"Well." he continued,"Auntie Clara and me have to return to our home,tomorrow and I have to go back to my job"**

**"No-no!"Tom was starting to get upset..."stay here please...please,don't go!"**

**Clara cuddled him closer to her...**

**"Tom,sweetheart, I'm sorry we can't stay here with you,I would really love to,but we have to go home to Daisy...she's missing us" Clara,was starting to sob.**

**"Please don't cry...Auntie Clara, Tom was wiping the tears on her face. John leaned over and took Clara's hand in his saying,**

**"We will be coming back to see you in two weeks,mate and Daisy will be with us..won't that be great?"**

**Tom didn't look so sure... Clara brightening up...said.**

**"Guess what...we're getting married in two months,so perhaps you and Uncle Rory could help him" poking John in the ribs "...choose a new suit?"**

**"Oi" John said..."I've got a suit..."**

**"You are not marrying me in that old thing!" Clara said in disgust...**

**"Uncle John you have to have a new one for Auntie Clara wedding,you have to look nice too..."**

**"Oh I do...do I ...well if I've got to wear one,so do you right? Now are you going to be a good boy for the next two weeks for Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy? I Know they have lots of treats planned for you...and I expect good reports from them when we get back,right...we both will"**

**He looked over at Clara,who was starting to droop,**

**"And I think it's time you went to sleep,so I can put Auntie Clara to bed. Lie down now..."**

**Clara,got off the bed,as John settled Tom kissed him.**

**"Night,night,sweetheart,see you in the morning"**

**"You will still be here,then?" He asked worried.**

**"Tom... "she said,touching his face."we won't leave without saying goodbye! Go to sleep"**

**John turned the bedside night light on..**

**"There and we will leave the door open in case you want Auntie Amy okay?" Tom was asleep.**

**Both of them crept out on to the landing, John pausing to shut the door slightly..**

**"Well,that didn't go to bad" he said..."Now to tackle Rory,Find out what's got into him."**

**Clara looked at him,thinking it was as John had said to him before he was j****ealous****...**

**"John, you should talk to him,there is something bothering him" Clara said,putting her arms round him..**

**They both went downstairs. Amy,was on the sofa,trying to watch the Television..**

**"How is he?" she asked.**

**"Asleep,"John said.."I explained about what was happening tomorrow,think he should be alright...we'll have to see... Where's Rory?"**

**"He came down half hour ago...while you were upstairs,went straight into the office,saying he had work to do...What's,wrong Raggedy Man?"Amy said to him puzzled.**

**"Not sure,Pond..I've got this feeling that he thinks I'm taking over with Tom,do you?"**

**"Of course,not..!"she said Both of them sat with Amy.**

**"You know Rory!" he was jealous sometimes of the way I looked after you when we were little,John...do you remember?"she said.**

**"Some" He replied, "the time when I came back to Leadworth..thought he had got over it with how great he's been especially this last month.**

**I should..have a word?" He walked to the to the office door.**

**Looking back at Clara who was half sleep in the chair..."Sweetheart why don't you go to bed? I'll be up myself,soon as I've talked to Rory"**

**"Hmm, what!" Clara said"Think I will, got some packing to finish anyway...how come you always end up taking home more than what you brought with you!" She kissed John "Don't be long? ...Night Amy."**

**"Night...Clara...sleep well"She went upstairs.**

**"I will talk to him then," John said walking towards the the office. Squaring his shoulders,he knocked on the door.**

**Rory looked up as he walked in.**

**"John..is Tom okay?"**

**"Course..he's asleep" he replied.**

**"He would be if you had something to do with it...is there anything...else...I'm busy...got to finish this." He nodded to what he was typing on the computer.**

**"Rory.. if there was a problem..you would talk to me..right?"**

**Rory shrugged his shoulders..."There's nothing wrong,John...now please go away,I'm busy."**

**John knew then something was not right...**

**"No...I know you,Rory Williams... not until you tell me what's wrong,I'm not leaving this room" John sat down in the chair that was in front of the desk.**

**"God you're a stubborn bastard, John Smith" Rory replied.**

**"Well I've learned from the master...not moving till you tell me,mate..." John sat with his arm's folded.**

**"Oh,what the fuck...! "**

**Rory turned the computer off.**

**"I give up...not going to get this finished,tonight ...you always get your own way...John as usual"**

**Getting up and walking over to the window...he had his back to John. He was silent for a minute,then...**

**"How do you do it?"**

**"Do what,Rory?" John sounded puzzled.**

**"Get people to like you" he continued.**

**"Lots of people like you," John said back to him "That's one of the reasons you became a solicitor,your need to help...**

**... Look if this is because of Tom, Do you think I'm hustling in... Rory"**

**"He doesn't like me..." Rory said suddenly turning round. " Look how he was with you and Amy earlier,when you were on the floor in the kitchen,having fun.I mean you and her have always got on now... adding Tom to the mix"**

**John sighed,**

**"Rory,mate,I thought you had got over this.. "You love Amy,right...?"**

**"Course I do...! Have since we were little,you know that!"**

**"So,have I...not in the way you do...never have. Oh I liked the way she Mothered me..still do in fact... We argue." **

**"Yes,you do a lot...!"Rory said.**

**"You are both ****very important**** to me and always will be, but I love Clara.." John continued.**

**"Then what about Tom? How do I make him like me?" Rory said.**

**" Can't do that" John replied.**

**Rory gave him a look...**

**"Because he already does.**

**It's also a work in progress.I know you have a job,but...**

**When you're home,play with him,do things together..just love him!"**

**"It sounds so easy" Rory said to him."Daisy.."**

**"Daisy is different" John replied before he went any further. "She was looking for a Daddy,because she already had half a family with Clara...Tom needs the whole deal...the two of you!" He grinned at him...**

**"So stop being a pilock and get on with it...right? Now I'm going to see if Clara's finished packing...then I'm going to bed.I've got to go to work next week as well."**

**As he moved to the door, Rory said to him.**

**"John...Thanks,see you in the morning"**

**"Think on what what I said...night Rory"**

**John went out and shut the door.**

**Sunday 10am**

**"I'm telling you it won't close," Clara's voice came from the open door of their bedroom.**

**They had the one suitcase that needed to go downstairs to the car,but the lid of it wouldn't shut while they did up the catches...**

**"Why not sit on it!" John suggested,"perhaps the added weight will hold it down.**

**"Oi...Are you calling me heavy...John Smith...you'd better not be" Clara retorted.**

**John grinned at her.**

**Tom came into the room, then,**

**"Tell you what" said John said...Both of you sit on it then I won't know who's the heaviest"**

**"I'm so going to smack you when we get home" Clara said under her breath...to him.**

**Tom,laughing climbed on top of the suitcase...John pushed down on top.**

**Clara pushed down on the catches as it finally ****closed****.**

**"Lifting it off the bed, John said,**

**" Clara!...what have you got in here?"**

**"What you last bought "she replied.." stuff for the baby,not sure where we're going to put all when we get back?"**

**"It will have to go into my room at the hotel for the time being,then we can move it later as we have to" he said.**

**Rory appeared at the door.**

**"Anything else to be put in your car,John? And Amy said breakfast is ready"**

**"Only this" John said pointing to the oversized case...but think I will need help getting it downstairs"**

**Rory tried to pick it up,**

**"Blinking heck... perhaps if we took half each? what are you going to do at the other end though?"**

**"It's going in my room at the hotel for now,it's baby stuff...not needed at the moment,we can use the hall porters trolley" he replied."just need to get it in the car..."**

**"Tom,Why don't you take Auntie Clara down for her breakfast,while, Uncle John and I do this,tell Auntie Amy,we won't be long...don't eat all the sausage sandwiches will you? Well you can eat uncle John's,save me one..okay?"**

**"Yes,uncle Rory,I will "..grinning he took Clara's hand. **

**Then he popped his head back...**

**"I won't eat yours,either Uncle John..."he said going again...**

**"Thanks ,mate..." John called after him.**

**Looking back at Rory...**

**"How's he been"?**

**"Awake since Seven"Rory replied."he was jumping up and down on our bed by quarter past."**

**"No more lie-ins then!"John said.**

**"Wouldn't have it any other way,I'm also reading him a story you started last night...with voices apparently..." Rory continued.**

**"Oh, got to do the voices,mate...that's part of the fun !" John slapped him on the shoulder."Come on let's move this or there will be no sausage sandwiches left.. I've seen Tom eat..."**

**By midday,the car was packed and John and Clara,were ready to leave.**

**John had just nipped back upstairs to use the bathroom.**

**Clara hugged Amy,**

**"Thank you for everything..."then turning to Rory "especially you...come here! "Holding on to him slightly longer,said.**

**"Thank you,especially for looking after him,I know how much trouble he's been..."**

**..."Clara,anything for him,and a lot of it wasn't his fault,"he put his hand under her chin.."He still has some was to go,and I will help him on that way...with Dr Barclays help"**

**"Thank you..."she said wiping her eyes.**

**John came back then,**

**"Right are we ready,do you need to go,Clara...before we leave?"**

**"Been twice while you were finishing loading the car" she said.**

**Rory said,**

**"Here you go,mate" handing over the car keys to John,"I've moved it out of the garage,to the front for you.**

**"Cheers,thanks Rory...taking them from him."He shook his hand,then hugged him.**

**"I expect,Clara,has said thanks to you,but...I'm really grateful for everything..."thanks mate..."**

**"You look after her or else"...Rory said."I will see you at Dr Barclays on Wednesday. I'll speak to you before then,let you know how this one's doing,okay?"putting his arms round Tom.**

**Bending down to his level,John said...**

**"Be good,look after Auntie Amy...and Uncle Rory,I expect good reports."**

**Tom nodded at him.**

**"He does even better voices than me..."he ticked him..then standing up turned to Amy..hugging her,**

**"Pond...I will see you in two weeks,maybe your cooking will have improved by then,**

**Amy pulled her face away his neck..saying tearfully**

**"You always say that and It's only because,Tom's here that you're not getting a smack, Raggedy Man!"**

**"Don't worry Amy,"said Clara,"he's due half a dozen when I get him home..."**

**"Auntie Clara,will you smack his bottom? "**

**Tom asked.**

**Amy who still had her arms round John was in hysterics..Clara was trying to keep her face straight.**

**Rory said coughing...**

**"What a very good idea!"...**

**John walking out the front door ten minutes later when everyone had calmed down,said to Clara,**

**"I might smack your bottom when I get you home..." as they both got in the car.**

**"You will have to catch me first!" putting her tongue out at him.**

**As they drove away,waving to the family on pavement.**

**A/N**

**So John and Clara are going home,to Daisy.**

**John as talking to do with his 'Mum'**

**About the hotel and other things...**

**Also will find out what sort of wedding Clara wants...**

**There is also going to be a shock for them both.**

**Please read and review..**

**Thanks.**

**Chapter 50 soon.**


	50. Chapter 50

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 50**

**John drove out of London and on to the Tadchester Road.**

**Glancing at Clara in the passenger seat next to him.**

**"What?_" She said looking back at him.**

**"Can't believe we're actually on our way home,how good it will be seeing Daisy"**

**"I know is it only a week since we saw her?" she replied, "it seems longer..."**

**"Sorry_" John looked away from her back to the road.**

**Clara bit her lip,she could have kicked herself for reminding him about his illness,that it had kept them away.**

**" John,none of this is your fault,so don't okay?" She touched his hand.**

**"Think of the good that as come out of it,your Mum,Tom"**

**He turned back to her,smiling.**

**"They are the good things to come from this. Is it tomorrow your appointment with Dr Jones?" He said changing the subject.**

**"At three "Clara said.**

**"Do you want me to come?"**

**"There's no point,it's mainly to arrange for my three month check at the hospital,you will come with me for that,though? You will want to see the baby,won't you?"**

**"I'm looking forward to it,but two shifts only if Dr Jones,says your well enough,Clara"**

** Reminding her of the conversation they had the other day.**

**"Yes" she replied.**

**"I am quite happy with that,think it will be enough,besides,I want to spend,sometime with Daisy"**

**Nearly an hour had passed and they were approaching the top of the road where the flat was.**

**"Mum said she was going to bring Daisy back to the flat for when we got there" he said.**

**"Daisy is going to wonder why I'm calling her ****Mum**** and not ****Auntie ****now isn't she?"**

**"Then we will all sit down together and tell her the truth"**

**"Not about,him,I don't want her to know that part" John continued.**

**"Whatever you want sweetheart "**

**Clara said.**

**"We will think of someway round it"**

**Pausing then saying.**

**"John would you mind,if I called her ****'Mum'**** only now with circumstances changed,well it's seems odd to call her Auntie,like Rory and Amy do"**

**John stopped the car,pulling Clara into a hug.**

**"Think she'd like that,so would I,whatever you feel comfortable with Clara"**

**"I've got a feeling that once,we've explained,Daisy might want to call her Nan,it's like ****Daddy****..something she would want as well."**

**John held her to him.**

**"Oh I think,she would like that,both of them calling her Nan,the baby and Daisy!"**

**John rubbed at his face,not realising he had tears coming down his cheeks.**

**"Well,we had better,get on,they will think we're not coming home"**

** They only had a short distance to go when John said.**

**"Look at that _Clara"**

**As they pulled up outside the flat,there,was a large banner on the front door saying.**

**'WELCOME HOME!'**

**"My stars! Clara said."That has to be Daisy's idea"**

**Getting out of the car,they suddenly heard a,little voice screaming.**

**"Their here! Their here!"Mummy. John..!"**

**Suddenly a bullet flew at John nearly knocking him over.**

**"I'm sure this isn't the right place Clara. I don't recognize it! And I don't know,who this is,do you?"**

**Holding a wriggling Daisy away from him,who was saying.**

**"It is! it is! Its me! its me!"**

**His mum,who had followed behind Daisy shook her head at him,with a,smile.**

**"Behave,John don't tease.**

**Hello Clara"**

**Clara returned the hug.**

**"Hello..Mum"**

**Then to her excited daughter.**

**"Daisy,sweetheart,calm down"_**

**Mary smiled at the scene.**

**Daisy who had run over to her Mum then back to John said.**

**"I made it!"**

**"I know,and it wonderful!" John said.**

**"Come here sweetie,can I have a proper hug without being knocked over?"**

**Daisy came over putting her arms round him.**

**"Oh I've missed this!" He said.**

**"Shall we go in,have a drink?"**

**His mum said,going over to him"**

**"You must have used up nearly all your art supplies for this?"**

**John was saying to Daisy.**

** "Hugging her to him. As they walked to the door.**

**"I really need to spend a penny!" Clara said.**

**"Told you should,have gone before,we left" He said.**

**"John.I did nearly two hours ago! **

**Excuse me I must dash,a tea will be nice.**

**Put the kettle on,back in a minute"**

**Clara headed for the bathroom.**

**John followed his mum and Daisy into the kitchen.**

**"Coffee,John?"**

**His mum asked him,putting a glass of Orange squash in front of Daisy.**

**"Please,how's Dave?"**

** Has he talked about him,he noticed that his Mum had gone slightly pink.**

**"He's fine,he will be coming again tomorrow to see Clara and you.**

**Gone to Richmond today,to check the house and post.**

**Dave's been a great help with the school run for Daisy"**

**"Oh you won't want me to take you to school then,Missy,if Granddad has been doing it" John said to her.**

**"I will" she replied.**

**"Grandads fun,but he doesn't run races with me like you do.I've missed that"**

**"So have I" John said pulling her onto his knee.**

**Suddenly Clara's voice came from the direction of the bathroom.**

**"John_John _JOHN!"**

**John looked up at his mum,saying quietly.**

**"That doesn't sound good" Lifting Daisy from his knee,kissing her on the head.**

**"Stay here sweetheart,while I see what Mummy wants,okay?"**

**Daisy nodded at him and sat back down at the table.**

**John walked out the room and down the corridor to the bathroom.**

**Knocking on the door.**

**"****Clara,sweetie,are you alright?"**

**"John..I****t's not locked_**

**_Please,I need you!"**

**John feeling slightly panicked now,went in. Clara was sat on the edge of the bath.**

**Her arms across her stomach she had tear tracks on her face,as she looked up.**

**"What is it?"**

**Going over to her,putting his hand on her face. **

**"Clara?_**

**"John. I'm bleeding"**

**'Oh shit!' He thought.'Why now'**

**"Is it much,are you in any pain,sweetheart?"**

**"Slight cramps,and there's spots in my pants.**

**JJohn I'm frightened,the bbaby"**

**She was starting to sob now."I'm going to lose it,like AAmy"**

**"No you won't,.can you walk?"**

**He asked her.**

**"Clara...look at me,can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?"**

**"W-why,What's the p-oint.I'm losing it aren't I?"**

**"We're going to the hospital now!"**

**John picked her up and going out of the bathroom door,down the hall,yelling,**

**"MUM!"_**

**She appeared at the kitchen door.**

**"John,what's the matter? Is Clara okay?"**

**He shook his head at her.**

**"She's bleeding,I'm going to take her to the hospital,not sure if she is_"**

**Not wanting to voice,what he though,then it wasn't happening.**

**Clara had her head on his shoulder sobbing still.**

**"Its no-no good,JJohn_"**

**"Hush,Sweetheart it's alright"**

**"Where's Daisy?" He asked then.**

**"Lunch in the kitchen,go John.I'll stay with her,phone me when you know ..."**

**She opened the door to the flat,and running down the path,the passenger door to the car.**

**John put Clara in,he hadn't even had time to unload the car.**

**His mum,touched his face,then kissed Clara.**

**John screeched away from the kerb.**

**Clara hand on his arm..**

**"John,please,don't drive fast,it won't do any good if we crash. Will it?"**

**"Sorry,sorry,sweetheart!"**

**He slowed down slightly,but still drove at a steady pace..They were at the hospital,in less than ten minutes.**

**Getting Clara,out of the car he was able to put her in one of the wheel chairs that were in the hospital entrance.**

**Going up to the reception desk,the lady who was on duty looked up saying,**

**"Can I help?"**

**"I think my fiancee might be having a miscarriage"**

**Whether it was because it was Sunday afternoon,there were not many people in the A&amp;E department,so Clara was taken straight into a cubicle.A nurse helped her undress,then there was a form to fill in with all her details...**

**"Look,when will she see a ****bloody**** Doctor!" **

**John pacing up and down near the bed.**

**" John don't!" Clara grabbing for his hand.**

**"The Doctor is on the way now"The nurse said leaving.**

**John touched her face,are you still getting the cramps? Darling?"**

**"It's calmed down a little now" She said.**

**John looked at her,kissing her hand.**

**"This is my fault,all what I've put you through this month,you weren't well when we went to Amy and Rory's.**

** He was right.I should have looked after you better"**

**Clara put her hand on his face.**

**"Don't, please none of this is your fault.**

**If this is not to be we can try again"**

**At that moment,the door opened,the Doctor came in.**

**It was Dr Jones.**

**"John Clara! I thought you were,still away?"**

**"We got back a couple of hours ago"John replied.**

** "Clara started to get the cramps then"**

**"She was fine while you were away? You didn't need to see a,Doctor in the month you were,at your friends?"**

**"No I've been really healthy.**

**Please don't talk over me like I wasn't here"**

**Looking from one to the other getting irritated,with them both.**

**"Sorry,Clara"**

** Dr Jones said.**

**"I think we had better arrange for a ultra sound,see what's happening in there okay?"**

**They both nodded as the machine was wheeled in and set up.**

**Clara held on to John's hand. **

**He kissed it.**

**Dr Jones put gel on Clara's stomach,and then put the scope across it.**

**"Ah.I see" she said.**

**Clara tried to sit up.**

**"What?" She gripped John's hand tighter.**

**"What?"John said "Is the baby okay?"**

**"The 'babies' are fine,are there twins in any of your families?"**

**"BBabies ttwins."John stammered.**

**"Yes" Dr Jones continued.**

** "Do you want to know the sex?"**

**John looked at Clara and she nodded in shock.**

**"Congratulations"She said.**

**"One of each. I'll just print off this for you,do you want some copies for your families?"**

**"YYes" John said still in shock.**

**"Thanks" Glancing back again at Clara.**

**When the equipment was moved away,Dr Jones sat down to talk to them both.**

**"Now everything looks okay,the spotting you had is normal Clara,that's all it is,but because you've had a shock I would like to keep you in overnight,just so you can have a rest"**

**Touching Clara's hand.**

**"I'll leave you to talk while I make arrangements to move you to the night ward.I will see you both tomorrow before you go home."**

**She went out.**

**When she had gone,Clara looked at John,then burst into tears.**

**"Hey! This is brilliant,aren't you pleased? **

**We're getting one of each!" Hugging her.**

**"I know,it hardly seems fair,Rory and Amy lost one,we get two.I want to go home!**

**You and your super sperm!"**

**It had really taken it out of Clara,thinking she was losing her baby then to find out it was twins!**

**The shock was getting to her now.**

**"Look,I will come up to the ward with you"**

**John was,saying.**

**Get a good night's sleep.I promise I will come and get you in the morning"**

** John put his head against hers.**

**"Please sweetie,you're exhausted!"**

**"I will,if you promise me you will get an early night as well"**

**She said to him.**

**"Oh I will,sweetheart.I'm knackered! in shock!,****though it's a nice one"**

**John smiled at her,holding her hand. **

**"You clever girl,it might not be my super sperm.**

**It could be from your side,we will have to ask your Dad? And I'll have to ask my mum"**

**'because I don't know either' He thought.**

**"Hmm!" Clara said nearly asleep.**

**The trolley came then to take her to the ward.**

**By the time she was settled and fast asleep in bed, it was gone seven.**

**John kissed her before leaving,telling the nurse that he would come to pick her up after ten tomorrow,because that's,when Dr Jones would see them.**

**He made his way out to the car park.**

**Sitting in his car,he was just staring at the steering wheel. John was startled when there was a knock on window. There was Rory.**

**Winding it down. John said.**

**"What are you doing here?"**

**"Well..that's not the most warmest welcome I've had from you,John"**

**He nodded at his friend.**

**"Move over I'll drive"**

**John slid across to the passenger side and Rory got in.**

**"The question still stands,what are you doing here, Rory?"**

** Looking over at him.**

**"Phoned to see if you had got home,Auntie told me what happened.**

**I came up on the train"**

**"I should have phoned,there just hasn't been a chance"**

**John replied. Rubbing at his face.**

**"_What time is it?"**

**'He sounds tired' Rory thought.**

**"Half seven"_**

**"You came on the train,what about Amy,Tom?"**

**" Their both fine,in fact Tom thinks I've come to smack your bottom because you haven't phoned us"**

**John grinned at that.**

**"John,how's Clara?" Rory asked.**

**"They've kept her in overnight,I've got to collect her tomorrow morning"**

**"Oh,John,I'm sorry mate,thought that everything was going fine for you,especially with what Amy went through. I know how it is"**

**John burst into tears,at that.**

**"John?" It will be alright,you can try again" **

**He put his arm round him.**

**" Yyou don't understand It's two. One of each.."**

**Rory thought that John had cracked with what had happened that day.**

**"John,you are not making sense two? Of what?"**

**John started to calm down,wiping his eyes..**

**"Look"**

**Taking one of the print outs of the scan from his pocket,he showed it to Rory..**

**"I mean two babies,one of each"**

**Rory looked from the scan,to John then back again.**

**"So Clara,is still pregnant then?**

**"Yes" John said.**

**"And its two..a boy and a girl? Twins?****"**

**John nodded.**

**"That's why she started to bleed.**

**It was only spots,but we did the right thing bringing her here in case it was a miscarriage"_**

**"But it wasn't though?" Rory continued.**

**" Fuck,Rory!.She was so frightened,we had only just got home,if she had lost them,would it have been my fault,for what I'd put her through this last month? Oh God..I would never have forgiven myself if she had!"**

**"John. Stop this,stop it now! I will slap you silly if you don't"**

**Rory said shaking him gently.**

**"Your going to get sick again if you think like that"_**

**She didn't,and" he waved the scan picture at him..**

**"Look what you did Double trouble!"**

**Grinning at him.**

**"Can I keep this,to show to Amy?"**

**John nodded to him.**

**"Now come on,let's get you home,you need an early night" **

**"I need to unload the car" John glanced behind him.**

**"Didn't even have time"**

**"Tomorrow. I will stay over,if you'll have me,go back in the morning?"**

**Rory said.**

**"Sure,you can have my bed,I will sleep on the sofa"John replied back.**

**"I will have the sofa! you are going to get a good nights sleep.**

**_That's an order John!" **

**Rory started the car,as he opened his mouth to argue.**

**Pulling out of the car park.**

**"You will have to direct me to Clara's flat,I came here from the station"**

**John pointed him back to the flat.**

**His mum opened the door as they both went up the path.**

**"John, Rory,how?" She said.**

**"Hello, Auntie" Kissing her cheek..**

**"Came up on the train..'John!"_**

**Rory went to grab for him as his legs went from under him.**

**All of a sudden.**

**"Ssorry..think I need to ssit down."**

**"Come on then,the sofa" Rory helped him towards it.**

**"Clara,is she not_" his mum asked fearing the worst.**

**"They've kept her in overnight" Rory looking up from his friend.**

** "Think John has something to tell you"**

**Patting her hand.."Don't worry, it's good news" seeing the look on her face.**

**John handed her a picture of the scan..**

**"Looks like..two,but I don't understand?" she said,looking at John's pale face..**

**"It's twins"John said.**

**"One of each. Clara's fine now,just in shock,so am I that's why she's been kept in. Got to pick her up in the morning.**

**Oh God I'm suppose to start back at the hotel!**

**Take Daisy to school_**

**the car needs"_**

**John was rambling,got up,swayed on his feet.**

** The room was going round and round.**

**Rory,grabbed at him again.**

**"John sit! When did you last have something to eat?"**

**"Sausage sandwich"_John replied.**

**"That was this morning" Rory said.**

**"Auntie,could you make him an omelette or something?"**

**"I'm not really hungry." John said.**

**"Yes you are."Rory said back to him.**

**"you are going to eat,then go to bed.I will take Daisy to school"**

**"John sweetheart,look at me."**

**His mum was sat on the sofa with him.**

**Touched his face.**

**"This is wonderful,let us help with,Daisy,and as for the hotel,it can wait a few days,we're not busy.**

**Settle back in,then we'll talk okay?"**

**He nodded,looking from one to the other.**

**"Rory I take it that you are staying?"she asked him.**

**"Yes,for tonight,not back at work myself until Tuesday,I will sleep on the sofa"**

**With a look to John_**

**"Make sure he behaves himself.I will just ring Amy,let her know,whats happened"**

**"I'll make you both an omelette" She said.**

**"But,I'm not really hun"_**

** John started to say but subsided when Rory gave him a look,knowing he would not get out of it.**

**Rory had gone out into the hall to talk to Amy on his mobile.**

**His mum was in the kitchen making the supper for them both.**

**John got up as he really needed the bathroom.**

**"John?" Rory said puzzled as he went past him.**

**"I'm alright,bathroom,won't be a minute"**

**"You know how stubborn he is,it's good news"**

**John heard as he shut the door behind him.**

**Leaning on it,then sat on the edge of the bath,where Clara had sat before the mad dash to the hospital.**

**God! He was tired. Still didn't feel real,two babies,they were going to need another cot! Though there was time for that.**

**The important thing now was to sort the top floor before the ****wedding.**

**Looking in the mirror,he knew,at last,some of who he was.**

**He would have to ask his mum questions,especially about the subject of twins,but knowing he didn't belong to him any more helped.**

**There was a knock on the door,Rory's voice said.**

**"John,suppers ready,have you fallen asleep in there?"**

**"Coming_"**

**John used the loo,splashed some water on his face,he felt slightly better.**

**Opening the door found Rory propped against the door frame outside.**

**"Do you have to do that?" He said irritable.**

**" I want to go! Haven't been since I left home.**

**"Sorry"_**

**Rory pointed to the kitchen.**

**"Go_eat_**

**no excuses. I'll be back in a minute" He went into the bathroom.**

** In the kitchen,his mum put a plate in front of him,he pulled his face slightly but once he put the first folkful in his mouth found he was actually hungry,and cleared his plate.**

**"Daisy?"_**

**He asked as she put a coffee in front of him..Did she ask where we were?"**

**"I told her you had to take Mummy to the hospital there was a slight problem with the baby...nothing that couldn't be sorted. I put her to bed at seven " She said.**

**Rory came back then,and she put a plate in front of him as well.**

**"Poor kid,we had only just got back,we had to dash out again" John said to him.**

**"She will be fine,once you explain" Rory said back.**

**Pleased to see that John had eaten.**

**"John,I know you want to talk"**

**His mum said "So I will go soon.I'll come back tomorrow when Clara comes home.**

**Do you want me to ring Dave,explain,or do want to tell him?"**

**"No,I don't mind,tell him,he can still come to us tomorrow,Clara will want to see him" John replied.**

**She stood up.**

**"I'll just do these dishes,then go.."**

**Rory said.**

**"Leave them,Auntie.I will do them,you get off,see you tomorrow before I go back.I'm taking Amy and Tom shopping in the afternoon"**

**He kissed her and walked to the front door.**

**"Don't worry,I will look after him"**

**"Try and get him to go to bed,Rory he looks shattered.**

**He's had a quite a shock too"**

**He nodded as he shut the door.**

**Going back in John said to him...**

**"Rory I forgot you were going shopping with Tom,if you want to go,I can manage,Daisy,then pick up Clara"**

**Rory shook his head at him.**

**"Not going to happen John,I will go home about,two okay.."**

**"Oh but"_**

**No,John,besides I'd like to see Clara before I go back.**

**Come on bed,then I'll clean up before I get settled"**

**John knew when he was beat..**

**"There's blankets and pillows in the cupboard in the hall,Rory,night then_"**

**"Night"_****When Rory looked in on him half an hour later,John was fast asleep.**

**Covering him up he turned off the lamp.**

**"Sleep well,mate_"**

**Rory got blankets and pillows from the hall cupboard and got settled for the night.**

**Something had woken John,glancing at the clock.4am.**

**Suddenly a little voice ..said..**

**"Mummy..John?"**

**" ..." it was Daisy,stood near the door.**

**"Sweetheart" he said softly..."Do you want to come in here with me? Quietly, Uncle Rory is asleep in the lounge..."**

**Daisy climbed into the bed with him.**

**"Missy..your freezing_"**

**He put an arm around her.**

**"Where's Mummy?" Is she alright? Is the baby?"**

**"She's just had a little bit of scare that's,why I had to take her to the hospital.**

**They had to keep her in.**

**She'll be home when you get back from school.**

**In fact we have got a nice surprise,it's not one baby but two a little brother and a sister..won't that be good?"**

**"Can't I have two sisters instead?" She asked. "Don't like boys"**

**Yawning.****John smiled at that.**

**"You like Tom though don't you?"**

**"Yeah, he's nice..."**

**"Well,Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy are going to be looking after him,its called fostering so when we go back to their house in two weeks,you can play with him. Okay?"**

**"Kay..John?"**

**"Hmm" He was just about to nod off again..**

**"Why is Uncle Rory asleep on our sofa?"**

**"Because I couldn't drive last night,and he rescued me...go to sleep,Daisy and if we wake up early you can go jump on him!**

**"Oh,you are so evil John"He thought his eyes closing again.**

**Rory was fast asleep on the sofa when all of a sudden something landed on top of him.**

**There was a giggle and something was tickling his nose.**

**Opening one eye,Daisy was sat on his chest. John was stood to one side with a cup in his hand.**

**"Coffee"?**

**"Uncle Rory" said Daisy."Are you going to get up? John said you are,going to take me to school"**

**"Well,that depends will have to get off me first,so I can drink my coffee,have a shower,get dressed..**

**"Missy,why don't you go and get dressed,then Uncle Rory can use the bathroom next"**

**"Kay" she said getting off Rory heading for it.**

**He handed Rory the coffee.**

**"Morning John,your looking better,what time is it?"**

**"Just gone seven.**

**We have to take Daisy.I have to pick Clara up at ten. Dr Jones want to talk to us both,I also have to unload the car_**

**Then drop that suitcase off at the hotel_then...**

**"John can't do everything at once.**

**Slow down!One thing at a time okay?"**

**John looked at him.**

**"How can you be so calm?"**

**"Because you get nowhere,running round like a chicken with no head.**

**Have you taken your pill today?"**

**Rory asked knowing he had to take the second one,the first he'd had,five days before.**

**"Yes,don't worry,Rory I know how important it is,just hasn't kicked in yet.I know we also have to see Dr Barclay Wednesday evening,I haven't forgotten!"**

**"Tell you what"Rory said.**

** "When I'm showered and dressed I will unload the car,apart from the large case.**

**You give Daisy her breakfast,then we can both drop her off at the school,right?"**

**"What about the suitcase,when will I do that?" John asked.**

**"I ****will**** do it when I drop you at the hospital to get Clara,"**

**Rory continued.**

**"I can come back for you both,about say eleven"**

**"But it's heavy,and you don't know where the hotel is" John replied.**

**"John I'm sure you can point it out on the way to the school,you also said there is a luggage trolley? I'm sure Auntie will show me where your room is" **

**"John,can't find my school bag"**

**Daisy shouted from her bedroom.**

**"Well, go on then.'supermum' back to domestic life" **

**He grinned at John,knowing how much he was enjoying all this before he got ill.**

**"JOHN!"_**

**"Just YOU wait,Rory Williams,you have got all this to come with Tom.**

**Coming Daisy!"**

**He shouted back,getting up and going out of the room.**

**Rory sipped at his coffee."urg" it had gone cold while he had been talking to John.**

**Never mind,he was sure there would be time for another before they left heading for the bathroom he heard John talking to Daisy as he passed her room.**

**"It must be somewhere,try under the bed,that's usually where you throw it when you come home from school. There it is"**

**Imagining John halfway under the bed pulling it out.**

**Grinning went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.**

**8.15am**

**"Daisy,come on into the car,were going to be late"**

**"John can't we walk? Play games on the way,have a race like we use to?"**

**"Not today,there's no time"**

**But. John!" Daisy said.**

**"I SAID NO.!"_**

**Daisy's lip quivered,she burst into tears.**

**"Oh God,Daisy I'm sorry,I'm sorry. I didn't mean" He went to put his arms round her.**

**"Go away! Don't love you any more!"**

**Pushing him away.**

**Tears pouring down her face she ran off into her bedroom. Slamming the door.**

**"Oh nice one John!" Rory said going down the hall after her.**

**"I didn't mean! "John started to say.**

**"You never do!"Rory continued.****"No,you get in the car,I'll talk to her"**

**John had started to follow him **

**"You and me are going to have a talk about your temper later right? Go I will sort it"**

**John looked so dejected as he went out to the car.**

**Rory tapped on Daisy's door and put his head round it. She was sat on the bed,looking at the silver 'Daisy' necklace that John had bought her.**

**He smiled at her.**

**"Are you alright,sweetheart?" sitting down next to her.**

**"You know,that is really lovely"**

**Daisy nodded at him saying.**

**"I'm not allowed to wear it for school in case I lose it. Auntie says it is a present from the heart"**

**"She's right,look Daisy,John didn't mean to shout at you,it's just he as been very worried about Mummy,and grown ups sometimes shout, get upset.**

**He's sorry.**

**Do you want to talk to him now?"**

**"Yes,Kay" She said.**

**Getting up,she put the necklace back in the box on the dresser,and taking Rory's hand went with him out of the flat.**

**John was stood near the car,he opened his arms to her.**

**She ran to him.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry.I shouldn't have shouted at you"**

**Bending down to kiss,hugged her.**

**"I do love you,John" she said. "Didn't mean it,what I said"**

**" I know " He replied.**

**"I will pick you up at three and we will walk back home,play games,race,whatever you want okay"**

**"We'd better go"Rory said to Daisy "or you will be late"**

**The three of them got into the car,when they got to the school,Rory got out with Daisy,taking her to the gate.**

**I won't be here when you come home,Daisy,I have to get back to Auntie Amy_"**

**"And Tom? John told me bout fostering"**

**Rory said.**

**"Yes that's right._**

**The three of us will see you in two weeks,be a good girl look after Mummy and especially him"**

**They both waved at John who was watching from the car,and pulled their tongues out at him.**

**The bell rang then and with a quick hug and a**

**"Bye,Uncle Rory,love you" Daisy ran up the path to the school door.**

**He waved and then went back to join John in the car.**

**"She's fine,why did you shout at her?"**

**John shook his head.**

**"I don't know,but am fully ashamed of myself,Rory.I've never shouted at her before"**

**He looked at him."**

**And its never going to happen again"**

**"John,you do feel alright don't you? I mean your not feeling ill like a couple of weeks back?"**

**"Rory.I'm fine,really"_**

**He smiled at his friend.**

**"Got too much to lose if I get ill again. Look,if I feel,stressed or anything,I will ring you, I will see you with Dr Barclay on Wednesday"**

**"Right then,we'll just put it down to the stress of the last hours on I will drop you off and then take this case to the hotel.**

**John said.**

**"You can't miss it,we pass it on the way to the hospital"**

**Pulling away from the school,Rory noticed that lots,of places where within walking distance,it was just he could hardly lug the large case that was in the back of the car.**

**He did think at the time,that John had gone overboard with the baby stuff,now he wasn't so sure.**

**Lucky 'bugger' But much as it still hurt about the miscarriage,both Amy and him were Pleased for him. It was what they both needed,especially John. Amy couldn't wait to talk to Clara later.**

**"Rory?"_**

**John was talking to him."Sorry,what?"**

**"I said that's the hotel over there"**

**They drove past a white painted building,with ivy up the side.**

**The sign outside declared.**

**"Parkgate House,Tadchester.**

**"Looks very nice,"Rory said"you say it is only as 20 rooms?"**

**"Yes,but there is room,grounds at the back to build maybe another 10,but I will have to talk to Mum about that investing my..."He was going to say parents,but changed it to just 'money'.There is a large garden space as well"**

**By this time they were at the hospital.**

**"Pick you up in an hour don't rush.I will wait. Don't look so worried John"**

**Seeing him hesitate as he went to get out the car.**

**Things will be fine from now on. Go,get Clara"**

**As John walked off to the reception,Rory's mobile rang.**

**"Hello"_**

**Hi,stupid face,it's me!"**

**Amy's voice came over the speaker.**

**"Oh.I thought it might have been my girlfriend,instead I've got the wife."**

**He joked with her.**

**"I thought you had given her the heave o last week"**

**"So I did,so how are you? Is Tom,okay,behaving himself?"**

**"He's been as good as gold,even went to bed when I told him to last night.I think he is missing you,though,Rory"**

**A voice came over the phone.**

**"Hiya,Uncle Rory,have you smacked Uncle Johns bottom yet?"**

**Rory grinned at that.**

**"Not yet,mate,think he is behaving himself at the moment.**

**Being a good boy for Auntie Amy? I will see you soon.**

**We will have our tea out "**

**"Kay_"**

**Amy came back on the line.**

**"He's gone into the garden,I think we need to get a swing for him,would do for Daisy as well.**

**How's Raggedy Man today?"**

**"Well,he" _Rory paused.**

**"He's fine now,but he upset Daisy this morning"Telling her what had happened.**

**"I think it might have been the shock of it all,To give him him due,he did apologise to her and has promised to ring me if there is any problems,I hope there won't be any need we will have to see"**

**"And how's Clara" she asked.**

**"Not seen her yet.**

**John as gone to get her now.I will tell you more when I get back"**

**"Oh I hope this works for him,he needs this,they both do,give them my love. **

**Tell Clara I will ring later.**

**What train are you getting?"**

**"There's one at two,so I will see you and Tom in the cafe at the shopping three?**

**Got to go,Amy,take this case to the hotel,then come and pick them both up. Love you "**

**"You'd better,stupid face_bye"**

**Rory disconnected the call.**

**He started the car and drove to the hotel.**

**A/N**

**John and Clara talk to Dr Jones about the twins.**

**Also to his Mum and Clara's Dad.**

**Clara will tell John what she wants for her wedding,which went by the by in the panic.**

**Please read and review.**

**Chapter 51 soon.**

**Thanks.**


	51. Chapter 51

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 51**

**9.45AM**

**John walked on to the ward,the nurse on the desk looked up,it was a different one than from the night before.**

**"Hello,can I help?"she said to him.**

**"I've come for Clara Oswald,she came in last night" he said.**

**"Oh the threatened miscarriage," she replied looking at her notes.**

**John flinched at that,"It certainly is not!" He felt his,temper rise but bit back what ever else he was going to say,for Clara's sake.**

**He did not think Rory would be impressed with him,**

** if he came back to find him kicked off the hospital ward.**

**"Could I go and see her please,I think Dr Jones is coming to see us at ten,before I take her home" The nurse got up..**

**"It's alright,I know which bed she's in came up with her last night." **

**"Walking half way down the ward,to the end bed,Clara was lay with her eyes closed.**

**He thought she was still sleeping at first,until her eyes opened at his approach.**

**"****JJohn****.!"..she said struggling to sit up and then burst into tears.**

**John put the bag he was holding on the chair next to the bed...**

**"Hey,come on Sweetheart,what's all this!" He sat with her on the bed and put his arms round her,she had her arms round him in a vice like grip... as though she wasn't going to let go of him,anytime soon.**

**"****Yyou**** left m-me... you left me,I woke up a-a and didn't know where you were..." She was really sobbing...**

**John was,trying to calm her down,patting her on the back,as she cried even harder into his shoulder...**

**Clara,look I've come to take you home...sweetheart,please..if you don't stop this ...they might not let me..." John was trying shock tactics,because he really thought they would keep her in while she was hysterical like this... He was stroking her head and she seemed to be calming down a little,he saw Dr Jones stood near the nurses desk.**

**He tried to get up,Clara,was still holding on to him.**

**"Where are you going!?"**

**"Sweetie...I'm just going to get Dr Jones to come over and see you...okay?"He wiped her face...**

**" Look she's over there at the nurses desk,you can see me...I'm not going anywhere..."**

**Clara let go of him reluctantly but her eyes watched him as he walked over to Dr Jones.**

**"John...Hello..I was just coming over to see you both."**

**"Hello,Doctor..could I have a quick word before you do?"**

**Dr Jones looked at him...**

**"It's just,Clara has been a little on the clingy side since I came in...panicking even,thinking I wasn't going to come back for her."he said."it is alright for me to take her home?"**

**"John,her body has had a shock,this last 3 months.**

**Low blood pressure, for one,which is fine by way.**

**It was one of the reasons I wanted to keep her in overnight "Dr Jones looked at her notes.**

**"A lot of it is hormonal which is causing the mood swings.I want her on two weeks bed rest and am afraid there is going to be a no sex ban at least for the two weeks,I know you are getting married in eight weeks,you said?" looking at John.**

**"Yes ,that's right"**

**"She should be alright for then if she does as she's told,now...I could keep her in here, I think that would do more harm than good. We'd better go over,Clara is not looking very happy..."**

**Walking back over to the bed the first thing she said to them was,**

**" your making arrangements to have me admitted.I'm not stopping here...want to go home!" She started to get out of bed.**

**"Clara,now don't be silly...stop this...course I'm not...your coming home with me...!"John put his hand on her arm."look get back in bed a minute and listen to what Dr Jones as to say..." when it looked as though Clara wasn't going to,John said...**

**"CLARA!...do as you are told...or I ****will**** let them ****admit**** you...stop this now...!"**

**Clara subsided back into the bed.**

**"That's better."John said moving the bag on to the floor,so that Dr Jones could sit next to Clara.**

**"Now,Clara...your blood pressure is fine,the spotting as stopped,which is good.I am going to let you go home,BUT..I want you on two weeks bed rest...and I mean rest... you don't like it being in bed,but because you are getting married in eight weeks I think its for the best."**

**Looking at them both,**

**"I know you are still having sex, I'm afraid it would be best if you didn't,for the two weeks"**

**"Is that what caused it,the spotting?" John asked**

**"It's hard to know" Dr Jones said "gentle sex is usually alright during pregnancy,still I'd rather you didn't for two weeks,okay?" She smiled at Clara.**

**"Let this man of yours look after you... " Getting up.**

**"Now I'll let you get dressed and you can go,I will leave a prescription on the desk for you to collect on your way out,John for some vitamins I'd like her to take.I will visit you on Friday..."**

**"Are you checking upon me?" Clara asked cheekily.**

**"No..."Dr Jones said..."but I want to keep a check on your blood pressure for the next two weeks"**

**"Fine,what ever..." Clara threw herself back on to the pillows."**

**"I'll see you,Friday,then,Dr Jones walked off down the ward"**

**"What!" She said looking at John.**

**"That wasn't very nice,Clara,Dr Jones,is only trying to help you"**

**"Really...!" she said pulling her face "Oh John I'm sorry,I didn't mean to be like that with her...I will apologise when I see her on Friday,it's just the thought of two weeks in bed,without sex...! it's going to drag"...**

**"Clara Oswald! your sex mad you are,there are other things we can do!"John said.**

**"Like what?"she asked him.**

**" Well " he said sitting on the bed and taking her hand in his.."We could plan out how we want the flat, the wedding,we could sort that.I thought that you wanted to spend some time with Daisy?"**

**"I do... "she replied.**

**"There you go then..."John kissed her hand and getting up kissed her on the head."Things to do that aren't anything to do with sex..."**

**"John,do you love me?" She asked him.**

**"Course I do!"but,Clara,you want the babies to be born,healthy don't you ? "She nodded. **

**"Well then,two weeks will fly,by and if everything is okay...and Dr Jones says we can I...we will...if not we will wait until their born,to behave like a pair of rampant rabbits right...! Do you need any help getting dressed sweetheart?"**

**When she shook her head said,**

**"Then I will wait near the nurse's desk for you.**

**There's clean clothes in the bag...I took the others home."He went out and drew the curtain around the bed.**

**Walking over to the desk,he said to the Nurse,**

**"Dr Jones has left a prescription for Clara Oswald? Thanks " as it was handed over.**

**"There is a pharmacy in the reception if you want to get it there..."the nurse told him.**

**Clara came out of then and joined him...**

**"Ready to go sweetheart?" he said taking the bag from her.**

**She nodded.**

**"Thank you" she said to the Nurse,who called,**

**"Good Luck! has they walked to the ward door.**

**They were waiting for the lift to the ground floor,when John said,**

**"I need to go and get this for you,we can't go until Rory comes back with my car anyway"**

**"Rory?" Clara looked at him puzzled as he lift arrived."He's here?"**

**As they got down to the ground floor said,**

**"John,did you ring him?"**

**" He phoned to see if we had got home,Mum,told him after we dashed here,yesterday. He arrived last night after I left he was worried..."**

**"After what happened with Amy" she finished.**

**John nodded...**

**"Yes,he's been great thought,Clara,"their both thrilled about this..look its,only quarter to eleven,Rory said he would be back about eleven,he's taken that large case to the hotel for me.**

**I hope he's not given himself a hernia lifting it..."**

**He took her over to the reception area.**

**"Will you be alright while I go and get this? The chemists only over there"**

**"John,I was just being silly before" she said."I know you're not abandoning me..." She sat down."John smiled as he went to walk towards the chemist..**

**"Your not are you?"said a tearful little voice..**

**John turned back round...**

**...Got you...!"she said grinning back at him.**

**John shook his head,as he walked off again...**

**'Yes she had...he thought,and he was never letting go!'**

**Clara was still smiling as John walked away,she loved him so much.**

**Knew how to winded him up as well.**

**She felt so much better,than when she woke up this morning and he wasn't there. She had just...panicked...It seemed silly,now as she had known that she had to stay in over night and he had to go home...he couldn't stay on the ward with her..**

**Her hormones were all over the place,especially since finding out about the second baby...looking down at her stomach,it did look slightly large for one baby at three months... thinking about it. Clara was busy musing to herself,she didn't hear someone approach...Until a voice said...**

**"Hello Clara," it was Rory...**

**Before... **

**When Rory left John at the hospital to pick up Clara,he drove back to the hotel to drop off the suitcase...Leaving the car parked near to the front entrance,he walked into reception.**

**There was a blond haired girl on the desk ,she looked up and smiled when he approached.**

**"Hello,there..."**

**"I'm a friend of John's, I've come to drop a case off for him...**

**"You're Rory...Mrs Drew was telling me that Clara was in hospital and the baby is now 'babies?"**

**"Yes, that's right",he replied"Everything is fine now,at first they thought it was a miscarriage,so it was a happy surprise."**

**"Oh ,I am so glad for them.."she continued I like them both...they deserve to be happy..."**

**"Is..Aunt...I mean Mrs Drew here? Only John wants this case puting in his room,upstairs,and I will need the trolley as its quite heavy."**

**"She isn't here at the moment,I think she has gone to Clara's flat with some shopping for John."**

**"Oh" Rory said..."Right..."**

**"Ben the hall porter isn't in this week...he's on holiday...I know where the trolley is though,I can give you a hand if you like.?...**

**...I can't go far from the desk ,but I could help you get it out of the car on to the trolley if you could get it upstairs,we have a lift."**

**Coming round from the desk,she went to get the trolley,which was near the entrance door to the hotel.**

**"I'm Kate,by the way..."She said.**

**"Thanks Kate.. " Rory said smiling at her and then taking the trolley from her wheeled it down out the door and down the slope to the car.**

**Opening,the boot,Rory with Kate's help manovered the large suitcase on to the trolley,**

**"Fliping heck!" What have you got in here..." she said.**

**"Baby clothes,so John said,they went a bit mad when Clara got pregnant,still suppose they will get used now it's two..."Rory said.**

**Pushing the trolley back into the hotel,and towards the lift.."I can manage if you need to stay at the desk" he said to her.**

**"It is on the second floor room 6, wait !" she said as he started to walk away,"you'll need the key" Handing it to him...**

**"Thanks" taking it from her...Rory took the lift to the second floor and to room 6 half way along the corridor**

**Opening the door,Rory realised he was not going to get the trolley any further...So he went round the other side,pulled then fell over backwards with the suitcase on top of him...**

**As well as the suitcase,the trolley was half on top of him as well...**

**He was stuck...**

**"Oh fuck!"**

**He was about to yell for help,when Kate appeared at the door...**

**"Rory are you okay?"What happened?"**

**Rory was feeling embarrassed...**

**"I slipped,do you think you could get this off me"**

**Rory was trying to push at the case.**

**Kate pulled the trolley upright..which luckily hadn't jammed in the door way and helped Rory move the suitcase off himself...**

**"Ow!" he said getting up from the floor with Kate's help.**

**"Are you okay?"**

**"Fine,I think " he replied "Thought you couldn't leave the desk? You were on duty?"**

**" Molly's in now," she said," the other receptionist,we've have been sharing Clara's shifts between us while she's been away"**

**"I see..." Rory was starting to feel closed in..he was stood against the wall in the corridor,Kate was nearly pressed up against him,as though she were going to try to kiss him.**

**"Well,er...thanks for your help,still feel slightly ridiculous...pinned to the floor by a suitcase...and John's at that!" He said.**

**"Maybe,you'd like me to pin you to the floor instead...Rory," Kate said,starting to run her fingers up and down his face...**

**"Pardon?!"**

** Rory blushing bright red. Praying this was a joke!**

**" Perhaps we could go for a drink...get to know each other?" She continued.**

**"Ssorry, I'm a married man" he squeaked"I don't play around.." 'even if I wanted to,which I ****don't ****Amy**** would kill me' he thought...**

**"Isn't it time you went home,Kate?" said a voice,"your shifts over,what are you doing up here anyway?"**

**Rory said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening as he recognised Auntie's voice.**

**"Just giving Rory a hand with some luggage,Mrs Drew..."Kate said.**

**"Well,I think we can manage from here,see you tomorrow" Auntie said.**

**"Yes, Mrs Drew, bye Rory nice to have met you"**

**Kate went off down in the lift, and Rory released the breath he had been holding and moved away from the wall.**

**"Bloody hell" he said..."Sorry Auntie..."**

**"I should be saying that to you" she replied" She is a nice girl,but can sometimes be a little over zealous..."**

**"Next time,John can move his own luggage.." he said as he limped down the corridor towards her.**

**"Are you alright Rory? She noticed the limping.**

**"Will be,I think,the case landed on my leg..."**

**"What's in it...?"Auntie continued looking at the large suitcase that Rory had now pulled into John's room.**

**Rory thought he would scream if he had to explain again,but said ,'baby clothes',and that's,the last time I'm going near it" he said.**

**Auntie took the key and relocked the door.**

**"It's alright there" she said,"John can help Clara,unpack it when their ready to sort it out."**

**"I'll just take the trolley back down for you Auntie,then I have to go back and pick up John,he would have got Clara by now..."Rory said.**

**"I will come down with you...she said looking at him as he was still limping slightly..."Are you sure your okay?" As they both headed for the lift...**

**It's just sore...I'll be fine"**

**Rory parked the trolley near the hotel door noticed there was a dark haired girl on reception now.**

**"Morning Mollie"Auntie called too her.**

**"Good morning Mrs Drew "she called back.**

**"Don't worry Rory" she noticed his slight nervous look..." I don't employ ****all**** sex nymfo maniacs"**

**"Yes,well " he said,"better go,not sure when I will see you Auntie got a train to get at two back to Amy and Tom"**

**"How's things?"she asked "is he settling in"**

**"Seems,to be" he replied "time will tell"**

**"Well love,to them both" she said as she hugged him."**

**Hugging her back,**

**"Auntie,I will see him at Dr Barclays on Wednesday evening at seven,but you will ring me if he as any problems...anything at all...I will come,okay"**

**"Rory,he is alright,isn't he ?" she said looking back at him,**

**"Well, he did upset Daisy,slightly this morning, it's all sorted now, seemed,to been a one off maybe it with the upset of yesterday", telling her what had happened.."Anyway he's picking Daisy up from school at three,to spend some time with her".**

**"Tell John,Dave will be back by then,and we will both Come and stay with Clara while he does"**

**"I will do,must go now,Auntie...bye...love you..."**

**"Going back to his car...she noticed he didn't seem to be limping as much."**

**She grinned,as he drove away...Oh Rory's face...it was sort of funny...**

**After**

**Rory walked into the reception area,wondering where John and Clara would be.**

**He was just thinking of sitting on one of the chairs,as he had not got a clue which ward Clara was on,when he spotted her sat on one of the chairs.**

**He walked over.**

**"Hello Clara," he said.**

**She looked up.**

**"Rory"**

**Thinking that she looked tired,he sat down next to her...**

**"Hello again,well I should say you ****three**** now shouldn't I?"**

**She smiled at that,"Rory I'm sorry you had to dash up here"**

**"Clara ...don't...just don't ...I told you and him if your ever in trouble I will come,right?" touching her face.**

**She nodded at him.**

**"By the way," looking round "What have you done with him?"**

**"Chemist" she said, "prescription from the Doctor for vitamins. Oh Rory,I've got too spend two weeks in bed!"**

**"Doctors orders?" He said.**

**"Yes...but we can't even you know?" going 'pink'**

**"Right...l see" he said."Clara if you have been told that's what you have to do then you do it right? it will be worth it for two healthy babies at the end,won't it?"**

**Clara who had been looking down at the ground,looked up at Rory,she felt ashamed.**

**Really what was two weeks or even,Six months...when Amy and Rory had lost their baby and they were really pleased for her and John...How selfish was she?**

**"Yes it will" she said determined.**

**"Good girl"patting her hand.**

**John came back then,**

**"Your here then mate" he said picking up Clara's bag "shall we go?"**

**Rory helped Clara to her feet and John took her hand.**

**They went out to the car park.**

**As they got to the car,John putting Clara in the back seat,fastening the belt round got into the front,with Rory said,**

**"Rory,what have you done to your leg?"**

**"Had an argument with your 'bloody suitcase ' and a receptionist,is what!" He said pulling out of the car park. Telling them what happened at the hotel up to where the case fell on him.. and Kate helped him up.**

**Clara started to giggle...**

**"Not ****kiss**** me ****Kate****!"**

**"What," Rory said looking in the mirror,behind him at her..."She tried to jump me, if Auntie hadn't come back when she did..she'd probably have dragged me in the room and locked the door!"**

**Clara was still giggling and John was trying to keep a straight face.**

**"It's not that funny" Rory said "Anyway,why hasn't she tried it with John?"**

**"Because she knows we are a couple" Clara said"and I would bloody kill her if she did" She must have thought you were available,Rory"**

**"Oh thanks..! Tried to tell her that I was married" he retorted.**

**"Only..tried..?" said John.**

**"Oi I did !" said Rory.**

**By this time they were back at the flat...getting out the car,soon as the front door was open,Clara made a dash for the bathroom.**

**"Clara?" John said.**

**"Sorry need to go...all that laughing,put the kettle on...need tea after that...!**

**It was now 12...and as Rory put the kettle on,John made some sanwiches.**

**Clara came back after using the bathroom,She looked at them both...**

**"Just to let you know, going to bed,now,doing as I'm told"**

**John looked back at her,then at Rory.**

**"O-Kay" he had expected more of an argument than that.**

**She went to go back out the room,turning round said to Rory,**

**" You will come and say Goodbye before you go?"**

**"Course I will " looking over at John."Anyway not leaving till half one,got a taxi booked for then.**

**Tell you what,Clara you get settled,and I'll come and sit with you,okay"**

**Nodding at him Clara went to get into bed.**

**"Blimey" John said " I expected her to fight me all the way,think it is going to be a long two weeks though."**

**" You are just going to have to keep her occupied for the next two weeks,yourself as,well John" Rory said to him.**

**"Not sure what you mean?" John looked at him.**

**"I think that you do...know you like 'It' as much as Clara does...if not more,I wasn't born yesterday..." Rory stood with his arms folded.**

**"R- Rory..." John whined. "Anyway as I've all ready said to Clara,we've lots to keep ****us**** busy,planning the flat,the wedding,and the hotel.**

**Clara wants to spend some time with Daisy... so do I."**

**"Oh that reminds me,Auntie said to tell you,Dave will be back,this afternoon,they will stay with Clara while you pick up Daisy.I know that Amy will ring up everyday as well"**

**"Oh great...! Pond checking up on me too.." secretly he was pleased about it and Rory knew it.**

**"Well,if you don't want to hear how Tom's doing,what he's up to,before you come back in two weeks.**

**In fact you could always dangle that carrot in front Clara,to get her to behave."**

**"What...Tom?" John said to him puzzled.**

**"Yes,Amy will probably give her daily reports,on the phone,so if Clara,does as she's told,**

**You will be coming back to visit us,so they can go shopping for the wedding is a way of getting them to do what we want ," he paused. "Just don't tell Amy I said that!"**

**John grinned ...**

**Clara suddenly shouted from the bedroom,**

**"John...where's that tea...!"**

**"And here we go!" John said "Day one?"**

**Rory said "I'll go and sit with her then,if you bring the drinks and sandwiches in? Then you can get on with whatever until I go..."**

**Rory walked down the corridor to the bedroom,he tapped on the door,putting his hand over his eyes said,**

**"Can I come in...are you decent?"**

**"Course I am,you daft so and so" Clara,smiled,then pouted at him,**

**"Didn't you bring the tea?"**

**"John's bringing it now..." there was a crash from the kitchen," maybe not...! I'll just go and see..." **

**Rory started up from the end of the bed where he was sat,but Clara pulled him back laughing,**

**"Rory, leave him,it doesn't matter,usually it's something that isn't broken,or if he does he replaces it.I think it's my kitchen,it's too small for him,you should have seen it the first night he cooked me a meal in there..looked like a bomb had hit it,he's got better,and perhaps we can have a bigger one in the new flat..."**

**"A bigger what" John staggered in with a loaded tray which Rory quickly moving things from the table at the side of the bed so he could put it down before he dropped it.**

**"Kitchen,in the new flat" Clara said,"so you have to room to move about and I've got plates and things left... what have you broken this time?"**

**"Nothing,it bounced...!"**

**Clara,looked as though she didn't believe him,but let it go.**

**"Oh,I'm starving,"she said putting three sandwiches on a plate..."where's the Jammy Dodgers?"**

**"I couldn't find them,think Mum must have forgotten them when she brought the shopping earlier"John said."I'll get some later when I go to pick up Daisy"**

**"Thank God she didn't go back for them "Rory said thinking about being pounced on at the hotel by 'kiss me Kate' "might be locked in John's room at the hotel now!"**

**"Always thought you would make a good 'sex slave' Rory" John said grinning at him.**

**"Stop it you two...!" Clara said "if I start laughing again I don't think I will make it to the bathroom on time..."**

**Clara ate her way through five sandwiches,two slices of cake,and two cups of tea...**

**"Oh thats better!"she lay propped up on several pillows in the middle of the bed.**

**"Are you sure you don't want anything else.."John said..."think we have still got some food left in the kitchen"**

**"No...but Will have some Jammy Dodgers when you get some later...if you and Daisy don't eat them all first..**

**"Think we,will save you perhaps one..."John said "one biscuit..."**

**"Oi! I want one packet all for me"Clara said " I know you and Daisy when you get near Jammy Dodgers...**

**...never seen again..."She started to get out of bed.**

**"Clara...sweetheart..where are you going?!"John started up from where he was sat on the chair near the bed.**

**Clara stood near the door,she looked round puzzled,looking from John to Rory who had been sat on the end of the bed ,but had got up as quick as,John had...**

**"I was looking for something!" She put her hand to her head,"Why is the room doing that"**

**"Doing what? "John asked**

**"Going up and down...up and..." Clara made a sea saw movement with her hand,"STOP IT!"**

**Then her eyes rolled up into the back of her head...she passed out.**

**"Christ...Clara! John shouted.**

**Rory who was nearest got to her first...he caught her before she hit the floor, picking her up and putting her on the bed.**

**"Rory what happened?"John asked him.**

**"Looks like a faint ,but I'm not sure..." he said."stay with her while I get some water"?**

**John nodded at him,stroking Clara's hair back from her face.**

**By the time Rory came back with a wet cloth and a glass of water,Clara was starting to come round.**

**Blinking rapidly at John as he bathed her face with the cloth that Rory handed him.**

**"W-What happened"**

**"You fainted...sweetie...silly question,how do you feel? No don't sit up yet..." as she fought to.**

**"J-John have to... think I'm going to...!**

**Rory who understood what was going on and had come prepared said "move John quick!" as he help Clara sit up as she vomited into the bowl he shoved in front of her...when she'd finished,John came back over and put his arm round her wiped her mouth and gave her a sip of the water...**

**"There you go,is that better?"**

**She had her eyes closed,but nodded.**

**Rory took the bowl away to empty it and then brought it back.**

**"Just in case ..."he said to John.**

**Propping Clara back on the pillows,he joined Rory near the door...**

**"Do you think she is alright now ? Do you think I need to get the Doctor back?" He asked him?**

**"John is might not be anything" he said...'then it could be something' he thought.**

**"She was clingy when I went to the hospital this morning,frightened because I'd left her...she was fine when she knew I was bringing her home.**

**Dr Jones said it was her hormones.**

**You saw how she has been this last few hours?"**

**"Laughing and joking with us?"**

**"Yes,she was talking about Jammy Dodgers of all things then when she got out of bed,wasn't sure where she was going...then fainted...should I be worried?" John pulled his hand through his hair.**

**"Let's see" Rory walked over too the bed,putting his hand on Clara's head. She opened her eyes...**

**"Rory...are you going now?"**

**"No not yet,Sweetheart, in an hour...don't you worry won't sneak off without saying bye...Clara how do you feel now? Dizzy or anything? Any headaches? Do you feel sick still?**

**"No just tired...want to sleep,didn't much last night...to upset,worried about the babies after John had gone!" She yawned.**

**"One more question,then I'll let you,sleep...when did you last eat,Clara,did they give you breakfast in hospital?"**

**"Hmm!" That's two...toast n tea she said sleepy...couldn't eat it too ups-" her voice drifted off as she fell asleep.**

**Rory straightened up and went back over too John.**

**"Well she's not ruining a temperature and she knows who we both are.**

**Could be just everything that as gone on in the last 24 hours.**

**Like you she hasn't eaten since breakfast at ours yesterday"**

**"She did go mad with the sandwiches and cake before" John said.**

**"Look I will stay If your worried" Rory said to him.**

**"No,you have to get back to Amy and Tom,I can't expect you to sit here with me for the next two weeks,especially if it's nothing.**

**If I have to go out,I will have back up from Mum and Dave.I will phone if there is any real problems,okay?"**

**"If your sure?" Rory continued.**

**"Yes, Dr Jones is coming to see her on Friday to check her blood pressure,we've got one of those cuffs,I will do it later when she wakes you go,mum will be here with Dave at half two,as I have to go get Daisy then."**

**Right then,I'll just use the bathroom before,I go taxi in 20 minutes" Rory said,walking down the corridor to the bathroom.**

**John looked over at Clara who seemed to be sleeping touched her on the cheek,she didn't appear to have a temperature.**

**Rory came back in then,**

**"I won't wake her John,when I go tell her I said goodbye.I will talk to her tonight when Amy calls,okay?"**

**John nodded as the doorbell rang,both hurrying from the room.**

**leaving the door open slightly.**

**"Taxi for Williams"the man stood at the door said.**

**"One minute,mate...Rory as he walked back down the path to his car.**

**"John I will see you on Wednesday at seven at Dr Barclay's but I will talk to you both later tonight okay?" He gave him a quick hug...**

**"Any problems, and I mean anything...phone me right?"**

**"Rory it will be fine,I have my mobile,so you can ring me on that.**

**You'll miss your train.**

**Thanks for everything,love to Amy and Tom...Go..!"**

**Rory went down the path and it into the cab,waving as it pulled away.**

**John went back inside and shut the door.**

**Leaning his head against it.. thought 'I can do this' They all looked after me for a month,get back into it...no problem.**

**He had a quick check on Clara,who was still sleeping then started to tidy the flat before Mum and Dave arrived.**

**A/N**

**Chapter 52.**

**John's Mum and Dave arrive.**

**Quality time with Daisy.**

**Discuss plans for the wedding,**

**also the hotel.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 52**

**John had just finished tidying the kitchen,when he heard Clara calling him from the bedroom.**

**"John...John."**

**Looking at the kitchen clock,just gone two,he hoped that Mum and Dave would turn up in the next half hour,as he would need to leave in just over that to go pick up Daisy from school.**

**He did not want to leave Clara on her own.**

**He walked down the corridor to the bedroom,Clara was, getting out of the bed.**

**"Woe,where do you think your going...Miss !" he said**,**hurrying over to her.**

**"Bathroom" looking at him." where's Rory?"**

**"He had to go sweetheart,to get the train,**

**didn't want to wake you he and Amy will talk to you this evening."**

**Clara stood up, walked over to the bedroom door,she felt slightly dizzy, it passed...**

**"Clara?"John said, quickly moving towards her as she waved him away.**

**"I'm fine,John,don't fuss!"**

**She snapped hating herself for talking to him like that.**

**"I'm sorry I don't mean to snap I know I have to stay in bed,but I ****can**** make it to the bathroom on my own"**

**"Are you sure?" he said "you passed out earlier,do you remember?"**

**she looked puzzled at him,**

**"Did I?.Sort of do have a picture of Rory and a bowl...did I throw up?"**

**He nodded at her,then said softly.**

** "Why don't you use the bathroom,then come back to bed Clara? Mum will be here soon with your Dad,know their looking forward to seeing you,especially your Dad. I have to go pick Daisy up as well."**

**Clara smiled at that...**

**"Oh I am really looking forward to seeing her,only got a quick hello yesterday,before all this happened"**

** She went down the corridor,into the bathroom.**

**John heard the toilet flush,running water then five minutes later,the bathroom door as she made her way back to the bedroom.**

**Getting back into bed saying,**

**"See I'm fine...needed to wash my hands and face I felt ugh!"**

**"Could have brought you a bowl to do that" John said. **

**"I'd rather use the bathroom, what would it be next,a ****bedpan****?"**

**" You're just being silly Clara, course you have to get up to use the loo apart from that and having a shower,you are supposed to be resting" he continued.**

**"Oh bloody hell... ! John I'm only pregnant..it's not an illness! I did come straight back to bed.**

**Is it going to be like this for the next two weeks.**

**For six months even...you're smothering me!"**

** She threw herself down on the pillows, bursting into tears.**

**"Clara...I'm,"**

** he started to say,as he put his hand out towards her,she turned away from him.**

**"Sorry..." he finished as he went to go out the door.**

**He got to the bedroom door,she suddenly turned to him saying,**

**John...please don't go...I'm sorry,I'm sorry!**

**Don't understand Why I'm like this!"Don't leave me PLEASE...! She was getting hysterical.**

**John hurried back over to her.**

**"Clara...come on now,calm down it's,okay I'm not going anywhere.I understand!"**

** He got on the bed,put his arms round her,kissing her on her head.**

**"I didn't mean what I said! "you're not smothering me! Your not...it's just I feel so helpless everything is going wrong!.it wasn't like this with Daisy..." she said.**

**"Clara,I know its easy for me too say,these are my babies too,but you are the one doing all the hard work! If I could carry them for the next six months,I would."**

**John had his,arms round her on her ****'bump'**** his head was on top of hers. **

**She was shaking he thought Clara was still sobbing.**

**Then he heard a little giggle...**

**"Clara...what...!" he said.**

**"JJohn, oh you make me laugh...I love you so much.!"**

**Turning her head up towards him said,**

**"Okay then...you can have the next,one...might even be 'Triplets' with our luck "**

**"God forbid! Can you imagine...six kids...WE could make a football team."he said.**

**"Oh Yes!" She smiled at that.**

**Then the door bell rang. John looked at his watch,half past two.**

**"That could be your Dad and my Mum...are you okay now sweetheart?"she nodded as he gave her a final quick kiss,getting off the bed,and helping her to straighten the pillows.**

**"John,I do love you,even when I'm yelling at you"**

**"I know" he replied going to the bedroom door."Best go and let them in...I love you too."**

**Going down the hall,he opened the front door.**

**Dave was stood on the door step on his own.**

**"Hello, John,your...Mary said she would follow me on.**

**She's seeing a Rep at the hotel."**

**"Oh right," John said...Come in Dave,it's nice to see you again" He shut the door .**

**"I take it ****Mum**** has told,you what happened in my childhood to us both ?"**

**Dave nodded.**

**" I don't mind if you call her my mum ,it's just I haven't told Daisy yet,and need to find a way to tell her"**

**"You need to tell her John,or isn't it going to be confusing for her if she's,mum to you all of a sudden,and still Auntie to her and Clara?"Dave said.**

**"Don't you think I know that!...**

**John was,starting to get upset. **

**"Do I just.. just... say to her..you know that ****Auntie**** is now my Mum because she gave me away as a baby,to someone who didn't love me and abused me! That's alright though..everything is hunky dorey ... now...I will tell her Dave,I'm not trying to get out of it..." **

**He turned round as they were walking down the corridor to the bedroom.**

**"Look,Dave do you think we can let this go for now? Clara is in bed and under instructions from the Doctor for two weeks complete rest... Could we please not argue about this in front of her...**

**... I don't want her upset. We will talk about it later,you,me and my Mum right ? I need to go and get Daisy from school now."**

**Dave nodded at him,**

**" John,we will play it your way...for now... Can I see my daughter?"**

**"Of course" John opened the bedroom door. "Clara,your Dads here,my mum is on her way..." then the door bell rang again..."that must be her now,I will let her in on my way out to get Daisy,won't be long sweetie..."**

**"Okay John...hello Dad" holding her arms out to him for a cuddle.**

**"There's my clever,girl!" John heard as he shut the bedroom door"**

**He walked back to the front door,opening it to his mum...**

**"Hello,sweetheart," she went to hug him,John held himself stiffly away from her...**

**"John!? What's the matter?"**

**"Nothing...I have to go and get Daisy" As he went to walk away, she stopped him.**

**"I know you...John,even before I got you back someone has upset you.**

**Is it Clara is she okay?"**

**"She's fine,its not her..."**

**she looked at him again,**

**"It's Dave then?" When he didn't answer her,she held his arms "it is isn't it?"**

**John just looked at her,then said...**

**"You told him about you and me,I expected as much,he seems upset about our relationship with Daisy,what... what she calls you..I call you. Oh GOD...!"Pulling his hand through his hair..."this is so complicated...**

**...We will need to talk about this...not now though I have go get her.."**

**"Later then and calmly" she said putting her hand on his face,as John went to walk away,nodded,shutting the door. Following the sound of voices,to the bedroom door,she tapped on it...**

**"Can I come in,Clara?"**

**"Of course," Clara replied."Has John gone to get Daisy?"**

**"Just,he shouldn't be too long,how are you now sweetheart? You look tired still,not as pale...though" She said touching her face.**

**"I think it's because the bleeding stopped.**

**It should be alright after this two weeks rest...I hope so,because don't think I could stick longer than that in bed though I will if I have too " Clara,said determined.**

**"She's a very clever girl" Dave said kissing her on the forehead.**

**"Well,how about some tea? I brought the Jammy Dodgers" Taking them out of her bag. "I forgot to leave them with the shopping this morning."**

**Clara,smiled at that,**

**"John was looking everywhere for them."**

**"Dave,do you want to give me a hand with the tray?"**

**"Sure,Mary,back soon,Clara...!" He followed her into the kitchen.**

**Filing the kettle and putting the switch down. Turning round.**

**"What have you said to John, Dave?"**

**"About what?" He said.**

**"You have made him guilty over this problem of his identity,none of this is his fault.**

**He loves your Daughter and Granddaughter very much" She said.**

**"I know he does," he replied, "I've nothing against him...I've liked him from day one when Clara brought him to meet me"...**

**"...and who engineered that,Dave...****John****,if he hadn't met Clara...you would still be on your own in Richmond bitter about disowning Clara, trying to make her give up Daisy !.."**

**"That's not fair...Mary!" He said.**

**"Nor is what your doing to John,a lot of this is ****my ****fault**** for doing what I did...I regret every day not bring up my own son.I will ****not**** lose him now even if it affects ****our**** friendship!...**

**...You telling Clara, she is a clever girl is not helping as well" she said."I don't doubt she is,please don't keep saying it...especially in John's hearing..after all they are half his babies"**

**Dave,looked away,and back to her,**

**"I just worry about Daisy,though,the confusion.."**

**"Confusion?" She said.**

**"Yes,you are Mum now to John ...Auntie still to the others Daisy is...going to start asking questions as to Why?"**

**"Then isn't that up to John and Clara to sit her down and tell her?" She said.**

**"There are things that John doesn't want her to know,the ****abuse**** he suffered at my brother in laws hands,that he has only just found out about himself and has to work through that...**

**...Without having to explain to a,seven year old what happened to him when he was even younger...If you push him...he is going to have another breakdown. I don't want that...PLEASE..."**

**Turning to him with tears in her eyes,**

**"Mary,please don't cry..."he took her In his arms."You know how much I love you,that I want to marry you..."**

**"I know, I want John to be happy first,to marry Clara...it wouldn't be fair to steal this moment from them.**

**When the babies arrive,I will consider it,please stop pushing John,okay? Now Let's take this in to Clara before it goes cold"**

**She had made two teas,for herself and Clara,a coffee for Dave,putting the Jammy Dodgers on a plate...**

**Dave,carried the tray back into the bedroom,putting it on the table next to the bed.**

**Clara who had been dozing,shot awake...**

**"Hmm...what !" She said.**

**"Oh I'm sorry, sweetpea,were you sleeping..."**

**Putting his hand on her face,she yawned..**

**"No,just dreaming...Daddy you haven't called me that since I was Daisy's age...I'd forgotten."**

**"Well,it's time I started again,"as he helped her sit up and then handed her the tea cup.**

**"You will always be my baby...you know that...no matter how old you get"he smiled at her and also at Mary who smiled back at him.**

**Suddenly there was a banging at the front door and John's voice said...**

**"Daisy...don't just drop your school bag there... and hang your coat up...missy"**

**"...but John,I want to see Mummy...and the babies" came Daisy's voice from the hall.**

**"And you will quicker,if you put things where there suppose to be,then we're not playing 'hunt the school bag' tomorrow morning."**

**Clara,smiled,shaking her head saying...**

**"Oh I've missed this between John and Daisy...she is so untidy..."**

**"Now,I wonder who she gets that from" her Dad said laughing.**

**John and Daisy peeped round the bedroom door,**

**"Look what I've found...does this belong to any one?" John said,with his hands on Daisy's shoulders.**

**"Well..." said Clara playing along..."Think it might be mine..."she put her arms,out to Daisy...**

**"Hello...my good girl,how I've missed you!"**

**"Mummy!"Daisy said as she pulled away from John to go across to Clara,he held on to her slightly...**

**..."Gently,now Daisy...remember what I told you on the way home.**

**Mummy is,not a trampoline ,no jumping okay?"**

**"Kay, John " she said.**

**Daisy climbed on the bed with Clara,who hugged her...**

**"Oh sweetheart" touching her face."I love you...lots...missed you."**

**"Missed you more..."Daisy said back to her "Mummy,can I see the babies?"**

**"There's not much to see,at the moment,Daisy," Clara said,pulling down the covers so she could show her ****'tummy'..**** "but there's two in there"putting Daisy's hand on It.**

**"I was in there once,"Daisy looking at the others in the room,but I had more room,cause there was only me..."**

**"Yes,and you use to kick me in the ribs..."**

**"She does that now "John said...laughing."Saturday morning lie in!"**

**"Mummy...Will the babies,be here for the wedding?"**

**Clara looked at John,**

**"Don't think so Daisy,even if they were think they would be a little small...to join in..."**

**"Have you thought about the wedding by the way?" Clara's Dad looked at John and his daughter.I know you have decided eight weeks from now,but places get booked up so quick"**

**"It's,up to Clara," John said "you did say that you would let me know when we got home,sweetheart,I know a lots of things have happened... but have you decided?"**

**"You might think it's,silly" she said.**

**He went and sat on the bed with Clara and Daisy.**

**"I won't know if you don't tell me" her hand was in his.**

**"Well, I did think about the parish church here in Tadchester,and a marquee in the garden at the hotel..." she looked at John and his mum,**

**..."Maybe you think it would be to much trouble..."she looked away "I told you it was a silly idea!"**

**"That ****is**** a great idea..."John said smiling Clara,looked up again. "It is"...she said.**

**"Rory and Amy,any other guests could stay over,well at least 20,if we're not full that do you think? Do you mind?" He asked his mum.**

**" If that's what you and Clara want" she replied. "I know you want to talk to me about investing in the hotel,John,but that could wait until after the wedding?"**

**"Yes,I do..."John said, "we will need to sort the top floors out before that, thought I would get some estimates in the next few days from builder's if that is alright with you?"**

**"John, this is going to be your home, and it will belong to you one day,so whatever you want " she said back to him.**

**"I could sort out about the Marquee for you" **

**She continued "and there's also a, couple of friends of mine who are in the catering business,I could get them to do that for you,one of them makes wedding cakes "she looked at them both...As long as you don't think I'm interfering"**

**"On no...never that" Clara said looking at John who nodded "Yes please..."**

**"Clara,sweetheart " said her Dad "Your dress,I will pay for it...**

**"Daddy...you don't have to do that...I know that you are,retired now On a pension...you can't..." ...she started to say...**

**He came over to the bed...touching her face.**

**"Afford it ? Please,let me? I have an insurance policy...your Mum and me took out when you were born...it was for this,there should also be enough for dresses for Daisy and Amy as well..."**

**"It will probably have to be a ****'tent'**** I will be well over five months by then" Clara sighed..."least Amy and Daisy will look lovely"**

**"Clara,you will look lovely in whatever you wear" John said kissing her..."**

** "I'm sure with Amy and this one's help"**

** Tickling Daisy,**

**"You will find something lovely,besides,I'm marrying you,not the dress...okay?"**

**"Now,that's decided,"his Mum said " about how I give Daisy her tea and you and Clara can have a rest?...**

**"Oh,but..."John started to say...**

**...Don't give me that look and say your okay. I know you haven't stopped since this morning! Do as you're told "**

**"Yes,Mum..."**

**"Come on Daisy" Dave said..."How about Pizza? Sure there's some in the freezer...John,I will take Daisy to school in the mornings if you like,then if you want to pick her up like today either Mary or me can sit with Clara...if it's alright with you?"**

**John looked up from where he was still sat on the bed with Clara,he really did feel tired now he'd stopped,**

**"Yes,I'd like that,thanks,Dave.."he smiled.**

**"Save me a slice Daisy.."**

**"Kay ,John...come on Grandad lets find the pizza...pulling on his hand,dragging him out of the room. **

**"His mum looked at him**

**" John" she said.. "don't take this the wrong way,but I don't want you back at the hotel to work... not yet anyway"**

**John who had been half asleep sat on the bed,suddenly registered what she was saying...**

**"What!? You don't want me?"**

**"NO,John never that! "Coming over and sitting on the bed next to him taking his hand..turning his face to her...**

**"****Never ****ever ****think**** that believe me ? You have enough to do now with the wedding,Clara...the twins...Daisy. With the best will in the world,you can't hold down a full time job,as well as all that..."**

**"John please,"Clara,said touching him on the arm,"she's right,don't try to do everything at once...you'll get sick again."**

**John looked from one to the other...**

**"You're ganging up on me...!"**

**" John I am willing to discuss what you want for the future of the hotel for after the wedding.**

**What you want for the top floor within reasonable hours,but I don't think you need to work on reception,the girls have got it covered...even Clara's shifts" She said,**

**"John,"Clara said,"Even I've give up the idea of working,on reception now" pointing down to her bump."I'll behave if you do...deal"**

**"Okay" he sighed "You win..."**

**"Good" said his Mum giving him a final kiss,on the head,"and its because I care,that I'm putting my foot down about this...Better go and see if they have found the pizza...rest the pair of you.!"**

**She got up and went out the room.**

**Clara looked at him,**

**"Well,are you going to get in with me then?"**

**When he gave her a look...**

**"Don't be daft John,I know we can't you can just cuddle without that"**

**" But Clara,you need your rest.."**

**"JOHN SMITH...Will you get in this ****'bloody ****bed'****OR**** I will tell Rory and Amy you're misbehaving when they phone later..."**

**"You wouldn't! "...he replied.**

**" Try me...!"she said..." Now do as your told!"**

**"Okay...you ****win... again...****" Taking his jeans off. "Move over,then...Oh I forgot you need the extra space now!" As he climbed in...**

**"Oi... I would so smack you! but it takes to much energy..." Clara said.**

**John put his arms round her,tracing his finger down her face.**

**His eyes were nearly closed...Clara,was,thinking how tired he was looking again.**

**'My fault don't let him get ill again please ' she thought,saying a silent prayer...**

**"This is nice..."he said "See everything doesn't have to be about..sex..." his voice faded...**

**"John?" She queried... he was asleep.**

**"Thank God for that" kissing him on the head and getting comfortable herself...She was lying not quite top of him so shifted her weight slightly so as he would be able to sleep, hoping for a few hours at least... for herself too..**

**Two Hours later...**

**John started awake, he wasn't sure where he was.**

**There was tapping coming from somewhere,realising he was in bed with Clara fast asleep next to him.**

**The tapping was coming from the door...someone was knocking.**

**"Come in..." he said.**

**"His,mum put her head round the door.**

**John put his finger to his lip...**

**"Sorry,sweetheart" she whispered"I was just looking to see if you were awake yet"**

**"I am,but..." he nodded his head at Clara,he got out of bed quietly."I'll come out " He put on his dressing gown,and followed his Mum out into the kitchen.**

**Sitting down at the table,she put a coffee in front of him.**

**"Well,you look better,less tired..."she said to him.**

**"Where's Dave?" John asked.**

**"Gone back to the hotel,he will be here in the morning to take Daisy to school"**

**"...And Daisy"**

**"Ready for bed,playing in her room,I said she could have half an hour before you put her to bed." She replied.. "Rory phoned,I told him you were both asleep...They are both going to ring back about nine"**

**"What time is it now?" John asked. **

**"Just gone seven"...She looked at him"How about something to eat,John? There's some pizza or macaroni cheese...Dave and me had that,some left,I could warm it up?"**

**"Maybe later...I'll have something with Clara..." he looked at her...**

**"What!?"**

**"How do you feel about telling Daisy,why I'm calling you Mum?**

**"We will have to tell her sometime,through,I know you don't want to tell her about your..."**

**John didn't even let her finish..."please don't call him my Dad...my Dad was you're husband...he died before I was born...right?"**

**"Then we tell her,I wasn't well enough to look after you...my sister did, because I couldn't.. it's the truth isn't it?" She looked away from him,tearful..."I'm sorry...John...I..you shouldn't have to explain this,but I know you are going to have too..."**

**John got up and put his arms around her...**

**"Hey...come on...no regrets...I don't blame you,what matters is the now...Okay? Are you ready to do this?"**

**"No time like the present" has John let her go with a final hug... she followed him down he corridor to Daisy's room.**

**Taping on Daisy's door,they both went in.**

**Daisy was on the floor playing with her dolls house.**

**"Hello,sweetheart...didn't know you still played with this..." going over to it.**

**"Mummy's is better"She said..."it's got more furniture for it"**

**"Perhaps Grandad will let you have it for your room at the hotel? Daisy do you want to come and sit on the bed with me?" Pulling her up from the floor, and leading her over to the bed.**

**"Are we having a story?" She said to him.**

**"Not tonight,well I suppose we are in away" looking at his Mum.**

**"Daisy,who's that over there near the door?"**

**Looking puzzled at him said,**

**"It's Auntie."**

**"And who's Auntie is she?" He carried on talking "why do you call her that,sweetheart?"**

**"Well she's your Auntie... I do because you do and Mummy does,it's that not right? Should I not do it?"**

**"Of course you should...John put his,arms,round her,cuddling her to him,kissing her on the head.**

**"But I do want to tell you a story..."and he began to tell her about how his 'Auntie' became his 'Mum'**

**When he'd finished, she was very quiet.**

**"Daisy...do you understand?" He said to her.**

**Looking over at his mum tearfully...Yes...I'm sorry that John's Daddy died"**

**She came over to them both... sitting on the bed next to them,**

**"Is so sad,I know,honey...but..." looking at John and touching his face..."I got my baby back!"**

**"John..." Daisy asked.**

**"Yes..."**

**"If you have got a Mummy now,can I have a Nanny,please?"**

**"Oh I think,that will be okay,what do you say...Mum?"**

**She had tears in her eyes and her arms round both of them...**

**"Oh, yes I'd like that very much!"**

**John gave Daisy a final kiss saying...**

**"Come on,into bed now...school tomorrow,I love you" hugging her...**

**"Daisy hugged him back saying,**

**"I love you more..."**

**His mum moved to where he was standing...hugged her as well,**

**"Night sweetheart..."**

**" Night..Nanny" she said sleeply.**

**They both went out,John leaving the night light on...**

**Pausing outside the door,he looked at his Mum,**

**" Well,that went well..Dave will be pleased ...though I didn't do it for him..."**

**"I know,You did it for you and Daisy" she said"and that is how it should be!"**

**They both heard the loo flush in the bathroom.**

**"Oh,Clara's up..." John said."Eight o clock...best find out if she wants any supper,before Rory phones,know I'm starving after that...**

**"I'll put the kettle on if you find out what she wants"**

**She walked back to the kitchen and John towards the bedroom,thinking how much better he looked now they had talked to Daisy...**

**A/N**

**Chapter 53**

**Rory and Amy phone...**

**They tell them their plans**

**For the wedding**

**Baby talk with Amy...**

**Visit to see Dr Barclay.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks...**


	53. Chapter 53

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 53**

**John was in the bedroom, when Clara came in wearing her bathrobe with a towel wrapped round her hair.**

**With the look he was giving her,thought it was because she had gone to have a shower on her own.**

**"Look, John this is getting silly,surely I don't need your permission every time,I get out of bed.I'm going back now"**

**Taking the towel from her hair and rubbing it dry at sat back on the bed.**

**"See I feel,fine, don't feel dizzy,not going to faint""**

**When she realised that he wasn't telling her off or even arguing back said.**

**"What,what is it?"**

**"Daisy"" he said.**

**She looked up in panic."Is she alright?"**

**"She's fine,we've told her about,mum and me.I've had a thought, you should have been there" **

**He took hold of her hand and sat down on the bed with her.**

** "Did you want to be? Have I gone over your head?"**

**He sounded as though he was doubting himself again feeling guilty.**

**"John, Daisy is as much your child, as these two in here." Clara said,touching her stomach.**

**"Sometimes we will have to make ****'joint'**** decisions about them.**

**This was about you and your Mum ,I would have liked to have been there. I didn't have to be"**

**" You didn't?" He said.**

**She shook her head."Did Daisy understand? What you and Mum were telling her?"**

**" Yes,we told her that,Mum couldn't look after me because,my Dad had died and she was ill.**

**The only thing we didn't tell, was the part about 'HIM.' I don't want her to know about that part.'EVER'!"**

**He sounded so bitter about that.**

**She could understand him not telling Daisy,but hoped he would be able to at least talk to Dr Barclay on Wednesday.**

**It was going to eat him up if he didn't maybe ,with Rory's help? She hoped so.**

**"Can we talk about something else now please?" He said. " I came to ask if you wanted some supper,to find you'd done a ****bunk**** again!**

**"Oh,John,I needed a shower,hadn't had one since I left Rory and Amy's yesterday.I would start to ****hum**** if I didn't"she replied.**

**"Well.I did have to hold my nose" he continued sniffing with his arms round her. "You do smell better now!"**

**"Oi.I will so smack you in a minute John Smith,Cheeky sod" She said trying to hold a smile back. "I am hungry,could eat a horse"**

**"Don't think we've got that in the fridge,but there might be some pizza or macaroni cheese"**

**When Clara,pulled her face at that said.**

**"Tell you what I would really like,apart from you which I can't have" kissing him.**

**"Tomato soup,and a ham sandwich,please. I know there is some in the cupboard,soup"**

**"I will tell Mum that's,what you want,bring mine in here,if ****you**** stay there"**

** John said pointing at the bed.**

**"Besides,Rory will be ringing soon,he has once,but we were both asleep"**

**Getting up from the bed and kissing her on the head said,**

**"Won't be long sweetheart, are you going to get back in bed,before I bring the supper?"**

**Clara rolled her eyes at him.**

**" Only if you get back in with me later,no hanky panky.I promise!"**

**John said, "We'll see " as he headed out the door towards the kitchen.**

**Clara waited until the door had closed,and then reached for her mobile phone that was on the bed side table.**

**Settling herself in the bed in case John came back, she scrolled through her contact numbers,hitting Rory's.**

**It rang twice before a voice said,**

**"Clara?"**

**" Hello,you left without saying goodbye this afternoon."**

**"Are you okay? Is John? We were going to ring you in a while,Auntie said you were both asleep."**

**"Rory,please there is no real problem,things are fine,I do need a word with you,about John"**

**Clara looked at the door in case John came back.**

**She hated to talk to Rory behind his back,but things needed saying.**

**"before you take him to see Dr Barclay,it's nothing serious. I know you are back at work tomorrow,but,"**

**" What time will he be out?" Rory said.**

**"My Dad and John are doing the school run between them,John is picking Daisy up,so anytime after two thirty,will be okay. Rory he is alright,I think there are somethings you need to tell the Doctor. I hate to go behind his back,like this" Clara replied.**

**"Clara,now we're not altogether,if you think it is something that needs to be talked about?" he said.**

**Hearing the sound of John and his Mum coming back from down the hall and also the sound of what she thought was the front door opening and his mum talking to him then John's voice saying,**

**" If you're sure Mum see you,bye!"**

**"Must go, Rory,he's coming back,speak to you in an hour? Bye" Clara disconnected the call.**

**Rory and Amy's house 8.15pm**

**Rory looked at the mobile phone in his,hand.**

**Amy came back into the room then,she had just been to put Tom to bed. Rory had read him his story,but he liked the kisses and cuddles with her as well.**

**"Now that was ****very**** mysterious" he said.**

**"Who was it?"**

**"Clara,she wants a word about John,when he's not about" Rory said.**

**" Is Raggedy Man okay?" Amy asked.**

**"She said he is,and its nothing to worry about,just things I need to tell the Doctor.**

**I'm going to ring her when I'm at work tomorrow,when John picks Daisy up from school" He looked at Amy.**

**"Don't worry,you will still get your chat with Clara, got to ring back in an hour"**

**Meanwhile**

**John came back into the room with a loaded tray,which he put on the table next to the bed.**

**Clara,quickly shoved her phone under the covers.**

**She hated to lie to him, the things she was going to tell Rory,John would perhaps tell Dr Barclay himself just wanted to make sure.'Why do things have to be so complicated' she thought 'is this anyway to start a marriage'**

**"That looks great sweetheart,as Mum gone?" she said to him.**

**"Yes,she'll be back tomorrow"**

**John put the table over her knees with soup,ham sandwich,and orange juice on then sat down with the tray on his with a plate of macaroni cheese.**

**"So does that"**

**"Well,there was plenty, Mum made enough to feed an army.**

**You could have had some" he said. Clara pulled a face.**

**"Much,as I'd like to John,I don't think the ****babies**** would like it this late at night.**

**This is fine"**

**"Suppose**** Daisy and me could have it for tea tomorrow?" **

**He laughed then.**

**"What" Clara, said after taking a mouthful of soup.**

**"Remembering something from years ago.**

**Rory and Amy had just got married. Amy was learning to cook.**

**She made macaroni cheese,least that's what I think it was"**

**John said,rubbing the back of his neck.**

**"Anyway,they had just moved into the house their in now.**

**We were still at college,Rory and I. When Amy made this macaroni cheese. Rory bravely ate his,way through it.**

**He had the belly ache for two days if I remember"**

**"Really" Clara said to him,"and what did you do?"**

**"Me,!" John said.**

**"I snuck it into my overnight bag and threw it away on the way home.I was staying with Mum then.I wasn't so in love as Rory was that I would eat P****onds**** cooking. Not sure if I should now"**

**"Oh,John it's not that bad"**

**"It has got lots better,just don't tell her, its part of the,Fun"**

**He grinned.**

**Clara loved to hear him telling stories of the three of them before she knew,him,his face became animated when he talked about those times.**

**She looked so sad all of a sudden that John put the remains of his supper to one side.**

**" This is better,just too filling Clara,what is it?"**

**She shook her head at him.**

**"It's nothing,I've finished as well,thanks enjoyed that" **

**John noticed she had eaten nearly everything. Putting everything back on the tray to take into the kitchen.**

**"I'll wash up in a while.**

**Clara are you alright? You've gone awful quiet"**

**"It's just_"she said.**

**"What?"**

**"I wish I had known you all then" she said to him. John raised an eye brow at that.**

**"Clara,I will have to stop telling you tales about us all If it upsets you this much"**

**"DON'T you bloody dare,John Smith, it doesn't. Was this about ten years ago?"**

**John nodded at her.**

**"Yes,when we were all twenty five"**

**"I was fifteen" she said.**

** " I had gone off the rails somewhat..Staying out late,drinking,smoking,even tried ****'pot'**** at one point"**

**"Clara!? "**

**"Not so ****goody ****goody****, am I ?" She said.**

**"My Dad was tearing his hair out with the worry"**

**John couldn't believe what she was telling him.**

**"So how did you turn your life round? I mean you told me you were a Nanny when you met Daisy's Dad,things must have,changed." He said.**

**" Friend of mine,she..she was killed in a car crash.**

**It sort of brought me to my senses.**

**Everything was normal after that,well until I met Will, got pregnant,then my Dad disowned me. You know what happened then"**

**John looked shocked at what she was telling him.**

**" Why didn't you say something?"**

**She just shrugged her shoulders.**

**"When we first met,it never came up,"**

**looking up at him,**

**"Then as,we got to know each other and I found out about ****your**** parents and then you were sick,I didn't like to tell you."**

**"Oh,Clara!" he sat on the bed and put his arms round her,his chin was on top of her head.**

**"Do you hate me, John?" She said to him.**

**"Wwhat!? Why would I do that? Because you went off the rails as a teenager,don't be silly,your not the only one who's done that " he said.**

**" You didn't " Clara said to him.**

**" No.I made up for it,got myself arrested at ****34**** instead," he said with a grin.**

**"Don't joke.****John****,please" Clara said."**

**I should have told you,I'm 't mean to- to k-keep secrets from you"**

**She was starting to get upset.**

**" You haven't,it's just another thing we have found out about each other" John said.**

**He was thinking how could this have come out from, a conversation over Macaroni cheese,of all thing's!**

**He was wiping the tears,from Clara's eyes, and kissing her,when her phone rang.**

**"Er_ Clara,that's your phone"**

**"Hmm.."she said enjoying being held and the kisses. "My phone.!"**

**Scrambling under the covers for it,but it had gone half way down the bed,to John's amusement.**

**The other end all Amy could hear Clara's voice (the button must have got pressed!)**

**"It's there! Ow! John that hurt..."**

**(They had bumped their heads together!)**

**"What's it doing in the bed anyway" John's voice.**

**"I was bored,earlier"**

**Clara?John? Amy said.**

**Wondering what was going on?**

**"Well ****one of you ****talk to me?"**

**"Hello Amy?" **

**Clara came on the line,then.**

**"What are you doing with Raggedy Man?"**

**"I'm not doing anything,with him" **

**Clara said going slightly pink,****looking at him.**

**"I'm not allowed to do anything with him!"**

**"She's suppose to be resting,but she won't, Hello Pond!"**

** Came John's voice.**

**"Give it back.! Then Clara's voice,again.**

**"Amy,this is me,mean it's Clara,go away John girl talk"**

**John ****pretended**** to pout,knowing that Amy wanted to talk to Clara,as she would be excited about the other '****baby'**

**"I'll go wash up then,since I'm suppless to requirements?"**

**"There's a good boy" Clara stuck her tongue out at him.**

**He his picked up the tray saying,**

**"Back in while, you are not to get out of that bed ,unless it's for the bathroom miss?"**

**"O-kay" Clara rolled her eyes at him.**

**John shut the door behind him.**

**"Amy,he's gone" Clara said."Did Rory tell you I wanted to talk to him? Where is he?"**

**"In his,office,he said, tomorrow afternoon as you agreed two thirty right?" **

**"Yes. "**

**" Clara you must be over the moon,about the babies?"**

**"Oh I ,I have never been so frightened, when I thought I was losing them.I don't think I'd seen John so worried as well"**

** she said."We had only just got home too. I'm sorry you had to go through that."**

**"Clara,just don't.I'm getting over it I think it would have been harder for you, being further along than me. Life can be kind sometimes,and one of each too"**

**Amy squealed with the excitement of it all.**

**"Rory showed me the scan.**

**We are really made up for you,both of us,so no more regrets,okay?"**

**"Okay" Clara,agreed "How's Tom? I know it's only been a couple of days,but how's it working out?"**

**"Oh it's wonderful,the best thing we ever did.**

**You know,what he told Rory tonight?"**

**"What?"**

**"That he can't wait to get to school tomorrow,so he can tell everyone about his new Mum and Dad and show off his new clothes.**

**Between you and me,Rory was nearly in tears over that."**

**"Did Rory manage to meet you at the shopping centre on time,and you got everything he needed? Clara asked.**

**"He has got everything a little boy should have least three of it...Pyjamas, underwear,socks,poor love kept saying that it wasn't his birthday until Christmas" Amy said.**

**"What has that got to do with anything?" Clara said puzzled.**

**"Apparently,that's when they get anything new in the children's home.**

** Christmas and birthdays"**

**"Poor kid"Clara said.**

**"Amy,I hope you don't mind,I promised him a new suit for the wedding,I though he might like to be in the same as John and Rory,what do you think? Make him feel grown up?"**

**"That's,brilliant,we can sort colour themes when you come back in two weeks.**

**Have you decided where you're having it?" She asked.**

**"Yes,we did earlier" Clara replied. " The parish church here in Tadchester and then in the garden's at the hotel,we should be able to put you and Rory,and a few others, do you think?"**

**" That's great Clara,and a church too. I think having the reception at the hotel is a nice touch,with you both living and working there."Amy replied.**

**" That's what I thought"Clara,continued "it would have been a register office,if John had been divorced,we would have had no choice Amy,I would marry him in an old barn,as long as we're together! He wants me to have the white wedding, I'm hardly a virgin bride am I? It will be small anyway,only have a few friends here."**

**"Don't you have any friends in London?" Amy asked.**

**"Some, from college,but I lost touch when I got pregnant with Daisy.**

**My best friend,Nina was killed,when we were 15"**

**Remembering what she had been talking to John about before.**

**"Oh Clara" Amy said.**

**"I'm so sorry about that."**

**"Well,it hurts sometimes,when I think about her,but life goes on.**

**I have John. You,Rory,Daisy and Tom,these babies, I'm getting on with my life,Nina would have wanted me to"**

**" What about family its Blackpool your from?"**

**"Yes,my Dad moved us from there after Mum died,when I was seven.**

**My Gran and Auntie Linda still live there.**

**There is also my two uncles,don't know if he still keeps in touch with them,he did up to seven years,ago. I'll have to ask.**

**Then there's Rose"**

**"Rose?"Amy said.**

**"I worked for her for a while when Daisy was a baby in Kensington. I'd like to invite her,she helped me get the job here. I might not have met John if she hadn't"**

**" Have to make a list of everyone you want to invite,so that we have an idea of numbers" Amy said.**

**"What about John's friends?" Clara,asked Amy.**

**"There is a few he and Rory worked with at Master's,but he was never the one for socialising. Even the Christmas party,Rory and me had to persuade him to use to be the one for all that,trying to smarm up to his boss,she use to say it was good for his career,more than likely for what she could get out of it." Amy said.**

**"And Rory's Dad, Brian" Clara said "I have heard such a lot about him,how good he was with John.I can't wait to meet him"**

**"Oh,he can't wait to meet you"**

**Amy replied."Rory was on the phone to him the other night,telling him all about you.**

**He said it was time 'John met a nice girl,settled down and had a family"**

**Amy giggled.**

**"What?" Clara asked.**

**"You know,he once asked Sue when did she think they would have a baby,because she wasn't getting any younger..if looks could kill!"**

**"Well,I think we're doing that," Clara said."I'm really looking forward to meeting him"**

**At that moment,John put his,head round the door,looking at his,watch.**

**"Are you two still gabbing? You've been on that phone an hour Women what do you find to talk about?"**

**"Oi,,I've known you and Rory about football,ugh!"**

**Clara said "Amy.I will talk to you tomorrow and you can tell us how Tom went on at school,love to him and Rory"**

**Amy grinned.**

**"Is Raggedy Man moaning again.**

**Tell him to behave,love you both.**

**Talk soon,Clara,bye."She disconnected the call.**

**"I'll have you know the off side rule is_ very interesting" John said,getting on the bed with Clara."Shall,I explain it_?"**

**"****NO!" ****Clara was kissing him."I don't want to hear about eleven men and a ball.I'd really prefer this one man and his kisses.**

**A/N**

**Next chapter soon.**

**Problems for Rory and Amy?**

**John spends time with Daisy and his Mum.**

**Clara is upset.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks...**


	54. Chapter 54

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 54**

**Rory and Amy's 7.15am**

**Rory was sat at the table dressed in his suit for the Office.**

**This was strange in itself,as he had only worn jeans and shirts for the past month,even when working from home.**

**In one way he was looking forward to getting things back to some sort of normality,even though he would be still sorting John's problems,though from a distance.**

**Tom was sat at the table with him eating his corn flakes and toast.**

**"Rory,more coffee?" Amy asked him.**

**"Sorry...What...did you say something, Amy?" he said looking up at her.**

**"I asked if you would like a ****'Shandy'****..."she said.**

**"Yes...please," holding out his cup for a refill,and then realising what she had said to him.**

**"Er...Shandy?" he replied,looking puzzled.**

**"I knew you weren't listening,"Amy said."Are you okay?"**

**"Yes...raring to go...looking forward to getting back to the daily grind..." Rory said sarcastically.**

**"Tom,sweetheart, have you finished? Do you want more toast?" She asked him...**

**"No thank you Auntie Amy" he said to her.**

**"Why don't you go and clean your teeth then and get your things together in your school bag,okay?"**

**He nodded to her as he got down from the table,and went up the stairs.**

**"Rory..."she said "They will both be fine...You can't be there all the time,you said so yourself"**

**"I know...Amy,it's also about you " he said.**

**"Me?..What do you mean?"**

**" Neglecting,you... leaving all this with Tom to you?" He said sweeping his,hand round the room." The school run and everything,I still have to sort things out for Clara about John and also take him to see Dr Barclay tomorrow night! I know you said that you didn't mind,my job is one thing,but..."**

**Amy didn't let him finish...**

**..."Stop it,Rory,I don't mind I told you that when we took this on.I'm looking forward to it. **

**In fact I've got lots to do while Tom's at school. And as for John's problems,he is our best friend and we will carry on helping him,Clara,Daisy and the babies are part of that,right..." **

**He nodded at her,she kissed him then,saying,**

**"Now go on get your briefcase,you're going to be late...ring me later,let me know,how,Clara is..."**

**Rory went into his office and came back out with his briefcase.**

**"Are you sure you don't want me to drop Tom off? I can do it on my way to the office...it won't take me out of my way..."**

**Amy stood with her hands,on her hips..."Will you go to work...anyway I want to do it Go!"pointing...**

**Rory knew,when he was beat...**

**"Bye then,see you tonight Tom" he said to him as he came down the stairs with his schoolbag patting him on the shoulder as he passed.**

**"Bye Uncle Rory..."**

**They both watched from the front door as Rory went and got into his car,throwing his brief case in the back seat then drove away. **

**"Right...young man,time to get you off to school"Amy said.**

** John and Clara's the same time...**

**"Daisy, eat your breakfast,your going to be late, Grandad will be here soon"**

**"John...can't I go and see ...mummy before I go to school,please?"**

**John was getting exasperated,but after yesterday was determined not to lose his,temper...**

**"Finish your breakfast,and if she's awake,you can go and see her for ten minutes before Grandad comes,okay?**

**"John,why can't you take me to school?"**

**"Because I have to stay with mummy and Grandad wants to take you..." he said.**

**"****Don't ****want ****,****him ****to****."...was the sulky reply.**

**"Now,Daisy...I hope we're not going to have this argument every morning...I can't take you all the time,besides...isn't the afternoon time more fun? Tell you what how about we go to the park and have ice cream then,alright?"**

**Daisy brightened at that...**

**Suddenly Clara's voice called...**

**"John..."**

**"Oh, looks as though Mummy's awake,let me take her a cup of tea,then you can go in and see her,okay? Finish your breakfast first " he said as Daisy went to get up to follow him.**

**Going down the corridor,he went into the bedroom,**

**"Morning,sweetheart"**

**"Is it...!" Clara said.**

**'Oh...oh... 'John thought 'it's, going to be one of those days' "cup of tea...lady" he said. "Cheer you up?" he smiled...**

**Clara took the cup from him ****without**** a smile...**

**"Well" John said "your a little ray of sunshine today" He put his face down to hers for a kiss,but she turned her head the other way.**

**"Clara are you cross with me?" She shrugged her shoulders...**

**John was just about to ask her again,when Daisy put her head round the door,**

**"Mummy...! can I come in now,John ?"**

**"Daisy...course you can,do you want a cuddle before you go to school...?" Clara's face lit up at the sight of her daughter,she put her arms out so she could get on the bed with her...**

**Clara was still being very cool with John,but was laughing at something Daisy was,telling her about school.**

**..."and John is going to pick me up today and then we're going to the park for ice cream"**

**"You are...that will be good won't it? "She looked at John sat on he bed with them both.**

**"I bet both of you will enjoy that "**

**Then the door bell rang...**

**"That will be Grandad..."John said, getting up to go and let him in...Clara took hold of his hand and stopped him...**

**"Daisy" Clara said "Will you let Grandad in please, I want a quick word with John"**

**"Yes, Mummy" she said getting off the bed and going out the door.**

**"John..." looking at him," I'm sorry,I woke up in a bad mood,I shouldn't take it out on you though"**

**"Clara,it's okay...I know its easy for me to say when your the one stuck in bed" he kissed her and put his hand on her cheek. "It won't be for long let me get madam off to school,and we'll have breakfast together before Mum comes,about 11..."**

**"Okay..."Clara smiled at him as her Dad knocked on the bedroom door and came in.**

**"Hello,you two...Daisy has gone to get her things for school,I will come and see you later, this afternoon sweetpea, when John goes to pick her up."**

**"I will look forward to that...Dad see you later" Clara,said to him.."**

**"John...I can't find my reading book..."came Daisy's voice.**

**John closed his eyes and shook his head.**

**"I best go and see if I can find it" he said to Clara as she looked on in amusement. Going out of the bedroom they both heard...**

**"Where did you have it last?"**

**"Don't remember..."**

**"Did you have to do reading for your homework?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"Then were did you sit to read?"**

**"On the bedroom floor...against the bed...but it's not there!"**

**"Have you looked ****'under'**** the bed..."**

**"Never thought to look there..."**

**"Daisy!"**

**They heard John going into Daisy's room...rummaging under the bed,there was a bump and a bang...**

**"Ow...I've found it!"**

**Coming back out and putting it in Daisy's school bag...John was rubbing his,head where he bumped it. Dave came out of their room then,with a big grin on his face...**

**"You ,young lady are going to pull everything out from under that bed this weekend" John said to her."Bet there are things under there not seen the light of day for ages.**

**"Right Daisy,May...time for school,have you got everything ?"Dave asked her.**

**"Yes,Grandad...bye John see you later" she hugged him.**

**"I'll see you at three,sweetheart...kissing her on the forehead.**

**...thanks Dave!"**

**"Your very welcome,John,your mum told me what you did last night,talk later okay?" Looking at him.**

**John nodded as he shut the door behind them.**

**Going back into the bedroom to Clara,she was giggling at him...**

**"Oh that was,hilarious,better than the TV...you and Daisy when you are together"**

**"Really, Clara...have you seen what's under that bed..." he said.**

**"No...I gave up ages ago,but if there is anything missing from anywhere else in the flat,it's bound to be under there..."Clara continued.**

**"Well,it's,coming out this weekend..."John said "Every morning we have something that is ****missing...Yesterday it was her school bag,today her reading book...what will it be tomorrow? Anyway we will have to have a clear out before we move.**

**Daisy will have to learn to be tidy."**

**"Well good luck with that!" Clara,said" I've been trying to get her to do that for the last seven years!"**

**John was glad to see Clara was,in a better mood now than when she woken.**

**He didn't blame her ,it hurt when she had a bag on with him.**

**"How about some breakfast,sweetheart? "Tea,cereal toast?" He said.**

**"Yes please...I need to use the bathroom first,I know straight back into bed after" she said. "I promise I won't get out again,unless I need to later"**

**John smiled at her "I will try not to nag...but...**

**Clara didn't let him finish...**

**"John I know you mean well,and I will let you know if I feel sick or dizzy.I'm determined to do has I'm told so I can get up after two weeks.**

**We still have lots to do for moving"**

**"Clara,you don't need to worry about that,I will sort out things..." he said.**

**"John I'm not going to start ****lugging**** the furniture about! I can supervise though,can't I ...please?" She was starting to get tearful...**

**"Its j-ust t-this flat was a-'ll I had,now feel it's being taken a-way t-o quick..."**

**John bit his lip.. and sat down on the bed next to her...putting his arms round her.**

**" Clara..I'm so sorry it's my fault,for being to pushy.**

**I take over,its the solicitor in me.I love you and want to look after you..."**

**Clara wiped her eyes,**

**"I know,you do,John,and I like it,I really do...it's just sometimes I feel in ****limbo**** because I want to do something and I can't because of this" she pointed to her stomach "or you won't let me" she touched his face turning it to her.**

**"Not that I'm blaming any of this on ****you**** or the ****babies****,it's that I had no problems with Daisy,the only thing there was finding a job,which no one wanted to give me once they knew,I was pregnant!"**

**"Clara,look" John said...**

**"I do know that you have to stay in bed at least for this two weeks.I am trying to make it less stressful for you,after that if Dr Jones says,everything is okay you can get up,as long as your careful"**

**He looked at her and stroked her stomach,**

**"I will try and stop nagging, being so bossy...and taking over...you must let me know if there is anything you don't like...such as under Daisy's bed?"**

**"Oh no you can do that..."she giggled "Maybe you will have more luck with that than me"She held his hand.**

**"John,Daisy loves you...as though you were her ****'real' **** Dad. As far as I'm concerned you are!"**

**"So you don't think I'm taking her away from you?" He said.**

**"No...not at all,she will always be my ****little ****girl****, but she needs a Daddy"**

**"Okay..." he said "How about that breakfast? You go and use the bathroom" Kissing her.**

**"Honey" Clara said.**

**"Yes...I love you to..."**

**" For my toast" she said "I think you are sweet as well..!" touching his face.**

**Realising she was winding him up,got off the bed and went back to the kitchen. Clara headed for the bathroom and a shower.**

**Twenty minutes later,they were both sat back on the bed together,**

**"This is so nice.. John...Time together..."**

**Clara said as she ate her way through a bowl of cornflakes and two rounds,of toast and honey.**

**"Oh...yes..." **

**"When the ****twins**** arrive leisurely breakfasts like this will be a thing of the past..."she said.**

**" Then, we make the '****time' he**** said."Have you finished,sweetheart?"**

**"Yes thanks..."**

**John piled the plates and cups on the tray to take back to the kitchen.**

**Clara started to yawn and her eyes were starting to close.**

**"Why don't you have a sleep" he said.**

**...But I haven't been up that long..."**

**"Doesn't matter you are supposed to be resting" he continued."Tell you what Mum will be here in a couple of hours...I will tidy up and then..." **

**Clara was asleep.**

**John went quietly from the room back to the kitchen. **

**He washed up the breakfast dishes,and tided round the flat.**

**Every where was straight again in less than an hour.. Thinking what to do next,John was just going to sit down with a coffee and the newspaper,when his mobile rang.**

**It was Rory's number that flashed on the screen...**

**"Hello,mate how's things?" His voice said to him.**

**"Fine... are you checking up on me,Rory,aren't you back at work?"**

**...No I'm not and yes I am !" Rory replied."Just rung to tell you I've arranged for an Estate Agent to look at your flat later today, also someone to look at the furniture"**

**John closed his eyes...**

**"Sorry...didn't mean to bite your head off...it's been one of those mornings"**

**"Oh...how's Clara?" He asked.**

**"Asleep,she woke up with a bag on and got upset over some things,think it's alright now" John said.**

**...and Daisy?"Rory continued.**

**"The same as yesterday...missing reading book today...wanting me to take her to school,not Dave...had to bribe her so I can pick her up in the afternoons..." he said.**

**"And you kept your temper?" Rory said.**

**"Yes...Rory what is,this...twenty questions? Are you sure you're not checking up on me?"**

**"I'm just asking John" Rory said calmly.**

**..."Try not to get worked up okay... Dr Barclay will ask you how you have been this last week,and though lots,of things,have happened,you have coped..right,don't spoil it now."**

**John looked over at the wall and counted to ten...**

**"John are,you still there..."**

**"Yes,sorry...thinking..I'm okay..**

**...How's Amy today?"**

**"Bossy!"**

**"Well that's nothing new!" John retorted "Ponds like that every day,What's it over today?"**

**"Couldn't wait to get me out of the house this morning...So she could take Tom to school,She is loving every minute of it..."**

**"Rory...that's good isn't it...you don't mind,I know it's only the first day...how are you getting on with Tom,when you are,at home with him?" John asked.**

**"Great," Rory said. We have fun,I play football with him...games...read to him at bedtime,he likes that...he also likes 'cuddles' with Amy." **

**"...And you don't mind that...?"John asked him.**

**"Course not!" Rory said indignantly"I'm NOT jealous of Amy's relationship with Tom..."**

**"Who's flying off the handle now...! "John said too him.**

**"I'm worried about Amy,having to do all this on her own,because I'm at work..."Rory said.**

**"Isn't that an excuse,Rory...I mean Amy's a big girl, and she wanted this...if it was your own child,she would have to do it...it's just come sooner for you both because Tom's ****not**** a baby,but an eight year old kid."**

**"I ****AM**** not jealous of Amy" Rory repeated.**

**"Who are you trying to convince,mate...me or yourself?"**

**"Oh...fuck off ...John..! " he said,and hung up the phone.**

**John was left staring at his own phone...**

**Oh great,now as,well as Clara,he'd upset Rory! ...and it wasn't even half past nine yet! He was going to ring him back,when his phone rang...**

**"John,mate...I-I am ****so**** sorry...that was uncalled for,I didn't mean that...sometimes it's just that maybe I feel I'm not doing enough...to help "**

**"Rory...it's okay... Your ****always****,****helping ****especially me... " John said to him.**

**"...Perhaps you are right,****maybe it is jealousy...could I resent Amy's time being taken up with Tom? What kind of Dad am I.**

**What if that's it!**

**Oh God...would I have resented the baby if we'd had it..."he replied.**

**"Rory...stop this...you are just being paranoid!" John stated."YOU are not jealous of Amy..."**

**"I use to be..." he said.**

**"Yes,when we were little..."John replied.**

**"No not only then,when we were teenagers as well, remember...Billy Jones?"**

**"Rory,she went out with him for four weeks then came too her senses and choose you!..."**

**" She liked him..." Rory said.**

**"Yes,until he started calling her 'Carrots' and didn't treat her very well..." John said.**

**"I was going to ****hit**** him for you ...only Amy got there first...'she punched him!' suddenly realising he was a Pratt... and you were the one for her."**

**"She did...Yes she did" Rory said... remembering.**

**"Of course she did..."****bloody ****hell****" you've been married for ten years!...**

**...Rory,like I said the other day,you have to get on with this...you can't be there all the time with Amy and Tom,same as you can't for me.I have to get on with it too, I know I still have my own ****demons**** to sort,which is why I'm grateful for it when you are here." John replied.**

**"Thanks...John..I always feel better when I've talked to you,and I will talk to Amy" Rory said.**

**..."Even when I've caused the majority of your problems?"**

**"Stop it!...Must go,I've got a client coming in half an hour.**

**Ring you tonight to tell you about the arrangements for the flat,speak to you and Clara later? Bye ."**

**"Yeah...mate...bye..."**

**John hung up...**

**...Thinking about it,Rory had his own problems.**

**They were slightly different than his,but they were there.**

**He couldn't seem to get it across to him that it was a ****shared**** thing,looking after Tom,Amy wasn't pushing him away...He didn't think so.**

**When they were little,Rory and Amy were always there for him,and he had liked being ****mothered**** by her...**

**Maybe it was because he had no Mum (or thought he hadn't!) but sometimes felt..well in the middle,though they never acted that way towards him,or let him think it.**

**He looked at his watch. Making his mind up,he just had time to do it before Mum arrived.**

**Picking his mobile back up,he called the number for Rory and Amy's...he needed to talk to Amy and this,was as good a chance as any,while Rory was at work.**

**It rang three times and then Amy's voice came on the line...**

**"Hello..."**

**"Hi,Pond...how are you?" He asked.**

**"Raggedy Man...? " Amy seemed puzzled by his call. "Is Clara alright?"**

**"She's fine,asleep at the moment,think it's catching up with her,the last few days..." He said.**

**"I called you for a chat..." he continued.**

**..."You did...about what?"**

**"This and that" he said lightly.**

**"You are not making any sense,since when did you call me...unless there is a problem of any kind..."she replied.**

**"Okay...Amelia,you've got me, hands up! I want to talk"**

**"...About?"**

**"Rory..."**

**"What about,Rory...he's,at work" she said.**

**"I know" John replied "I've just finished speaking to him not ten minutes ago...**

**...Rory is Rory,I know,but have you noticed anything different about him, in... oh I don't know since maybe you started to foster Tom?"**

**Amy bit her lip,though John couldn't see her,**

**"Rory,has been,distant since I had the miscarriage,I don't think he means to be"she said slowly.**

**..."I don't know if he blames me,but we thought this with Tom might help us both."**

**"Amy,this is,what I mean about talking to each other,have you? I mean about that...****not ****Tom****,****day ****to****day ****things****...or even ****my ****problems****" John said to her.**

**"Not ...really ,no now I've thought about it,we've only mentioned it twice,once just before we decided to foster Tom and then Rory talked to you about it and I talked to you..."Amy replied.**

**"Amy...Amy...You have to sit down and talk to him!" John said back to her."He will kill me If he knows I'm telling you all this. You two need your heads, knocking together...!"**

**"Hey!" She said indignantly to him...**

**"SHUT UP AND LISTEN AMELIA!"John shouted to her..."I think that Rory as got it in to his head,that you don't need him or want him, since you started looking after Tom! I think he is also blaming himself for the miscarriage..."**

**But...he didn't do anything wrong...neither did I,the doctor said it just wasn't the right time!"**

**"Have you told him that? Amy ,Rory is very insecure in some ways...I know,he likes,to think he's in charge,that he helps.I am very grateful for all he has done for me from the age of three. Amy,he loves,you ...I don't think I could put it into words how much,but I do know he's very frightened of losing you at the moment."**

**"What! Of course hes not going to lose me! Amy said."I do love him course I do!"she went quiet then..."Maybe I've not told him enough.I have been so unbearable lately."**

**"You could say that..."John said.**

**"Ok...so what do I do then..." Amy said to him...**

**"What I said...talk! promise me you will,Pond..."**

**"I promise,when he gets home we will talk." Amy continued."John I do love him...I really do,I feel ashamed,that I have not told him,enough.I had no idea how he was feeling,and I should have!"**

**"Amy...I will talk to you both later "John said"Rory is going to ring me about the flat,he's got someone to come and see it I think...please talk to him...Okay?"**

**"Raggedy Man...I love you and thank you for giving me a shove in the right direction..."**

**John said "Pond... Tom is a lovely boy and you both need him. Though not as a shield from each other's problems that's not fair on him.I will speak to you both later...Bye for now!"**

**John disconnected the call.**

**'Maybe I should start a new career...****Agony ****Aunt'**** he said to himself...'**

**Rory's Office 11am.**

**Rory had just seen out the client that he had told John he was seeing...in fact it was a martial problem similar to John's,but hopefully it could be resolved easier than his would have been if it had come to that.**

**His secretary had just brought him in a coffee and left and as his next appointment wasn't until one he had time to sit and think.**

**Talking to John earlier had made him realise how much he loved Amy ,also what a 'Pratt' he was being. Of course she wasn't using Tom to replace him.**

**They had both agreed to the fostering and it hadn't been long,they were both enjoying looking after him.**

**Coming to a decision,he picked up the phone...**

**"Jayne, could you get Davidson's florists for me?"**

**"Yes Rory..."There was a pause and then a ringing tone...**

**" Davidson's Florists"**

**"Hello,could I order a large bouquet of red and white roses to be delivered to Mrs Amelia Williams please" Rory said...giving his home address and his credit card number...**

**"What would you like on the card?" the lady asked him.**

**"Just I love you...forever,love Rory x"going slightly red even though he was talking on the phone and to a stranger.**

**"Could they be delivered before half past two please?" Thinking Amy would get them before she went to pick up Tom from school...**

**...He must also remember to ring Clara,then as she wanted words with him about John.**

**"Certainly,we can arrange that"**

**"Thank you..."Rory said as he put the phone down.**

**'Well it's a start' he thought but he knew that he and Amy would have some talking to do,especially about the miscarriage,because they hadn't really talked about it...neither of them...**

**Maybe it was time...**

**John ****and ****Clara's ****the ****same ****time****.**

**John was making a coffee in the kitchen,when the doorbell rang.**

**Looking in the bedroom on his way to the front door,Clara muttered something in her sleep and turned over...John shut the door and went to open the front door.**

**"Hello,sweetheart..."his Mum said."How are you today? You look better..."she smiled as,she came in behind him and shuting the door.**

**"Clara?" She asked him.**

**"Asleep,has been for the last two hours.I'd like her to stay that way for as long as possible.**

**Do you want you want a coffee?"**

**"Please" she sat down at the kitchen table."so Clara,how is she?"**

**"Tired, upset...take your pick.." John said to her irritable."Sorry...sorry...Mum,I don't mean to take it out on you..."**

**"John are you okay?" She said touching his hand as he put the coffee cup down in front of her.**

**"Yeah..just a few thing to sort out for Rory and Amy as well..." **

**"Oh is there a problem...I thought everything was fine with them both."**

**"It is...or it isn't..." John said...telling her about how Rory and Amy had been.**

**"Poor Amy.." She said "losing her baby no wonder you were both upset when you thought Clara was losing hers..."**

**"They are avoiding talking about it...I'm no expert,Mum and Lord knows I've enough problems of my own,and after what they have done for me...over the years..."**

**"Look,John,you have given them both advice and that is all you can do..."**

**He had told her what he had said to both of them.**

**"You have Clara..the twins to consider first,you need to get her through this next two weeks"**

**"I know" John said. "She was so upset with me this morning. Then she changed completely...mood swings...Going to get lots of them,especially since we found out about the twins"**

**"Sweetheart,you can cope with this?"**

**She asked him.**

**"Course...I just have to get on with it...after all its only two weeks,hopefully Dr Jones will let her up then,as long as she's careful...I think it's the being in bed that's making her depressed."**

**"Well,Dave and me are,here for you,anytime you want, if you need a break...okay" she smiled at him.**

**"Yeah...Thanks Mum...I am grateful for that" He said..." Dave seemed pleased this morning.**

**You told him we talked to Daisy last night?"**

**"I think,he just wanted no secrets...and Daisy knows,who we are..."**

**"Do I ?"**

**"What...John,what do you..."she started to say...**

**"I know who you are,that part of me,but I need to know about my Dad..." he got up and started to pace up and down the kitchen.**

**Are you going to tell me?" He was pushing his hand through his hair.**

**"I need to know are,the twins,from my side or Clara's?"**

**"John...I do want to tell you and have lots of photos to show I will as soon as you come up to the hotel."**

**She touched his face..."I will not hide anything from you...though I can tell you now the twins could be from our side,as your ****Dad**** was a ****twin****...unless there is some on Clara's side as well! We shall have to ask Dave..that."**

**"Really.."John said.**

**"Yes really...now how about you go and see if Clara,is awake,and I will make you both some lunch.**

**Shepherds pie alright?" She said putting the dish in the oven to warm through..."I made enough for us all,you can give Daisy hers,for her tea later."**

**"Fine,but Mum you don't have too cook for us..." he said.**

**"I don't mind...as long as you don't...besides I thought we could sit and sort out about what you wanted to do at the hotel,for the flat?"**

**"Yes,I'd like that...perhaps Dave could sit with Clara,tomorrow and I could come and spend a few hours with you? I know there are plans in the office,for the top floor We could work out how we'd like it before getting the builders in..."**

**He was getting quite excited about it...**

**"Though I suppose it depends, what sort of mood Clara is in..."**

**"Well,why don't you go and see if she is awake now?"his Mum said...Go on...I'll call you when lunch is,ready"**

**John went down the corridor and put his head round the bedroom door.**

**Clara was sat up in bed,brushing her hair...**

**"Hello...you! " she said smiling at him " It's,safe to come in...What time is it?"**

**John looked at his watch...**

**"Nearly one..."**

**"What...! I've been asleep four hours" she said.**

**"Hmm...****see**** ...you needed the rest.**

**Mums making lunch. Shepherds pie,are you hungry?" he asked.**

**"I'm starving...so yes,please...do you want to get on here with me until it's ready?"**

**"Only if you behave yourself...Can I trust you Clara Oswald?" he said.**

**Aw, your no fun... John Smith,"she said playing the game with him..."besides if ****Mums**** in the next room...how can I have my wicked way with you!?"**

**Oh...so I'm safe ...all right then!"he said climbing on the bed and putting his arms,round her."Just think,I will be calling you "Clara Smith in a few weeks..." he said.**

**"Clara"... he said thinking he might as,well ask now,while she was in a good mood.**

**"Yes..."**

**"Tomorrow,would you mind if I went to the hotel for,a few hours with Mum? We need to start planning out the,top floor...I could get your Dad to stay with you. If it's a problem...I won't go"he said looking down at her.**

**"John,look its fine...I know you have lots to do before the wedding...and you won't do it sat on your backside here with me..."**

**"Right..."he said kissing her..."Oi...backside...you cheeky..." Clara was giggling at him.**

**"John...lunch..."his Mum shouted from the kitchen.**

**"I'll go and get it then..." he said getting off the bed...**

**"Yes, get off your backside then you...!" Clara said as he got up...smacking it as he went.**

**A/N**

**Next chapter soon.**

**Clara talks to Rory about John**

**She also gets upset with John.**

**Amy and Rory talk some as well...**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	55. Chapter 55

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 55**

**John and Clara's 2pm**

**John was finishing his lunch with Clara.**

**He was pleased to see that she had cleared her plate...**

**"Well...if you keep this up,you'll probably be able to get up after two weeks..." he said.**

**"Hope so,"she said "Or else if I don't get any exercise soon...I feel as though I've suddenly put on two stone in the last twenty four hours,though that might be since we found out about the twins..."**

**"John grinned at that...**

**"I'm not the only one that needs to get off my backside then...**

**"Oi...I will so smack you John Smith...Oh if only men could have the babies..." she said " You wouldn't half do some moaning then!"**

**"Would I now...?" John said laughing,as he touched her on the cheek...**

**"Yes!" Clara replied. "Think I would let you get away with it like you do for me,because I do love you"**

**She looked at him from under her eye lashes...**

**"John,I've been thinking,we are going to need lots more things,double everything in fact...Will we be able to afford it?"**

**"...You don't have to worry about that" he said holding her hand.**

**"We're going to need another cot,they can't go in the same one,perhaps the shop will change the other one for two cheaper ones?"**

**"...Stop it Clara! "John was getting frustrated. "Money is not a problem,besides I want you to have that one,I will also get another one like it if I can..."**

**"Maybe a little cheaper?" she said.**

**"No...I want them to have the same" **

**" Your sure,I mean I'm not going to be working and I will be so busy with the twins..."**

**"You will be my wife and half of the hotel will be yours! End of discussion,now I'm going to get ready to get Daisy, your Dad will be here soon"**

**He kissed her on the head saying,**

**"Get some more,rest,alright?"**

**Then got up to take the tray of dishes back to the kitchen.**

**Clara gave up,there was no arguing with him when he was like this.**

**Mum came in with a cup of tea for her,**

**"John's washing up,he insisted. "she said.**

**"Yes he's like that..." Clara said quietly taking the cup from her. "You cook, he washes the dishes"**

**"Clara,sweetheart,are you alright?" Mum asked.**

**"Yes...I mean,no ...think so"**

**"Well, that narrows it down..." mum said. **

**"John says that he has enough money to pay for everything,I'm worried." Clara said.**

**"We've got double the expense now" pointing at her stomach.**

**"Clara...if John says he has enough money,then he has " Mum replied.**

**...His par-I mean...my sister and brother in law left him well provide for,it's the only ****good**** thing they did for him!"**

**"Babies are expensive,and there is also Daisy..." Clara said.**

**"John will treat her like his own," Mum said, "which is why he wants to do right for all three of them by investing in the hotel.**

**He was always going to do this,Clara...even before he met you."**

**"He was?" Clara replied.**

**"Yes...when he worked at Masters,he wouldn't touch the capital,kept saying it was to invest in the hotel,for the future.**

**Rory was dealing with things for him then...he might tell you all this...if you ask him"**

**" Its John's business, though" Clara continued "Would Rory tell me? Between you and me,Mum...Rory is going to phone me in a little while.I don't want to go behind John's back,but I'm worried...its something else..."**

**Looking at her...**

**"Oh what?" she asked.**

**Clara bit her lip.. then said.**

**..."Your brother in law...John's attitude to him,I know you both have a right to ****hate**** him for what he did,especially him taking John away,and I agree,up to a point"**

**She was getting a little tearfully...**

**"I just want to make sure he talks to the Doctor about it.I think he sounds so ****bitter**** at times and if he doesn't talk about this ...it will eat him up!"**

**Mum looked at her...**

**"Clara...I knew you would be good for him as soon as I met you.**

**He needs to talk,no matter what my feelings are.**

**When is Rory ringing you?"**

**"About quarter to three,when John goes to pick up Daisy,he's taking her to the park for ice cream,so he should be an hour or more at least..You don't think I'm going behind his back then?"**

**"I think you have to,for his own good...talk to Rory... I think he might tell you what you want to know,as you are going to marry John "**

**John put his head round the door then...**

**" Dishes are,all done Mum.I'm going for Daisy now...I'll try to be back about four, we're going to the park.**

**Your Dad's late Clara..." looking at his watch...**

**"I told him not to rush," Mum said "he's coming for his tea,spend some time with you both and Daisy,that's why I made so much Shepherd's pie that's all right isn't it?"**

**"Of course"John said "See you both in a while,bye then."**

**"Bye sweetheart," Clara said "Enjoy yourselves"**

**They both heard the front door close.**

**Then Clara's phone rang...**

**"Hello...Clara, has he gone?" Rory's voice asked.**

**"Hello,Rory...yes just..." she replied.**

**"I will leave you to it,Clara," Mum said.**

**"Oh you don't have to go...you know what I'm going to tell him"**

**"No...you can talk better if I'm not here,back in a while"**

**She touched her face,and went out the door.**

**"Clara...was that Auntie?" Rory sounded puzzled."Are you okay...is John?"**

**"He's fine just ****obstinate****,but that's John.. "She said.**

**"Rory would you say in the week since he has seen the Doctor,and all that as happened to him..he is better than he was?"**

**"Of course...lots better!" **

**Rory said,thinking of the advice John had given him earlier that day."The mediation is helping him a lot...**

**...But he still needs to talk it out"**

**"That's,what I thought..."Clara said continuing,**

**..."Daisy knows that John is adopted,**

**he told her last night,with Mum"**

**"Well,that's good,isn't it?" He said "How did she take it?"**

**"John said she understood,though she hasn't asked to many questions,yet"**

**"But that's not the problem is it?"Rory said back to her.**

**"No...It's John,he didn't tell her about his '****Dad'**** While I understand why,it's his reluctance and the bitterness when he does mention him in a round about way.**

**Anyway do you think he will talk to the Doctor about this,only if he doesn't..it's going to eat him up!"**

**"Clara,I had noticed the way he's refused to call him,****Dad**** any more,that's up to John, I do ****agree**** with you...he needs to ****talk**** about it though" he said.**

**"Dr Barclay is going to have a ****field ****day**** tomorrow with all we've got to tell him.I will make sure he talks about it,even if he bites my head off! Like you I think he should...is there anything else your worried about,Clara...?"**

**"There is sort of Rory,though I'm not sure you will tell me or not" She said.**

**"... Sounds ominous,try me..."**

**"You might think I'm an "****Ungrateful ****Cow****" when I do."**

**"CLARA...! You are never that please tell me..."Rory said.**

**Taking a deep breath she said.**

**"It's John's finances. Oh God...how do I put this...you must think I'm some sort of Gold digger after his money,like Sue...I'm not...worried about the future...the twins...it's just...**

**Clara,was rambling...Rory was getting worried about her blood pressure.**

**"Clara...Clara..stop it! Calm down. Look I can't tell you exactly**** what I talked to John about his money not without his permission...**

**...What's brought this on? Of course I know your not after his money!"**

**"John says we have got enough money to live on,but Rory we've got double the expenses now and there,is also Daisy to consider. I won't be able to work once the twins are here.I was going to go back for a while,**

**John won't let me not now,Since we thought I was losing the baby,and then it ****turned**** into ****babies****!"**

**"Well,he's right about that" **

**Rory said to her."I can't tell you exactly what John has...you don't need to worry though, he has more than enough for now and the future,which is why he wants to invest in the hotel.**

**When you are married,it will be half yours anyway."**

**"That's what John said earlier,when I asked him about replacing the cot he bought for two cheaper ones"she said. "He didn't seem very happy about it"**

**"I didn't think he would be" Rory said. **

**" Look Clara,I wouldn't worry about it,let him look after you,buy what he wants for the twins,Daisy,he want this...so much,needs it even, I wouldn't let him do this if he was going to go bankrupt!"**

**"Rory,I trust you, I do "she said...if you say there is enough money I believe you..I feel awful for asking you"**

**"Clara,I understand..."He said. **

**"I know you love him and he loves you,but you still have lots to find out about each other...I will have to talk to him anyway,you both should make wills,provision for the twins and Daisy...in case..." **

**"Oh, I hadn't really thought ,you are right. We should" Clara,replied.**

**"Rory, John never said when we came to your office,that day that you acted for him?"**

**"I didn't, not really," he said" l did his will for him about ten year's ago, now he's met you,he should update it. I will talk to him sometime this week,in one way,it's good that you have brought this up...Clara,even I hadn't thought about it"**

**"We will have to do it after the wedding,can't do it now,can we?" Clara said.**

**"You could,even though you are not married the babies are John's,you would still be classed as ****common****law ****and we could make some sort of provision for Daisy. The wording could just be changed later...I will have to discuss this with John."**

**"Rory,you won't let him know we had...this conversation will you?" She said to him "Only much as I love him,he can get upset over the slightest thing lately"**

**"I'll suggest it as his ****solicitor****,and also his best friend,nothing is going to happen,Clara,but these things are,best sorted..even if it's for years in the future...**

**...Now stop worrying,I will hold his hand and make sure he talks to Dr Barclay,you know I won't let him get away with anything" **

**"Yes,I know you won't..it's just I love him so much,has you said,Rory...we have lots to find out about each other...when I mention about money to him... he won't talk to me about it...**

**...I don't want him to think that's,all I'm interested in him for,but we are supposed to be a couple." Clara said to him.**

**"Clara...I think John knows that,so do Amy and me..course we do."Rory replied back.**

**"I don't want him to think I'm using him like Sue..."**

**"Now STOP it...Clara... stop this..you are the one that's going to get sick and lose those precious babies...besides,you are nothing like her,John would be the first to tell you that..."**

**Rory knew he was going to have a very ****long**** talk with John later,on the phone,not only about Amy and him...he also needed to talk about Clara to him ,all four of them had ****problems****!**

**"Are you going to be alright,Clara?" He asked her now,"I don't like to leave you upset like this,but..."**

**"You have someone coming to see you,I'm sorry Rory,I'm stopping you from working..****we're****...****I'm**** still causing you problems"**

**"No your not!" He replied.**

**"I do have someone coming in ,my last client for today,before I head home...I could ring you before I leave,see how,you are?"**

**No...no don't do that ,Rory I'm fine...really! Look head home when you're ready...I will talk to you and Amy,later ,John won't be back for a while he's,taking Daisy to the park for ice cream...good excuse for me and the babies to have a sleep..."**

**If your sure...Clara...I will try and talk to him soon,speak to you later then...bye"**

**"Yeah...bye Rory"**

**She disconnected the call.**

**Settling back on the pillows,Clara felt a tear start down her cheek, wiping it with her hand...**

**...the feeling came over her,she couldn't stop...! Bursting into full tears...There was a knock on the door, Mum came back into the room...**

**"Clara,have you finished talking to Rory? ..Would you like a..."**

**Hurrying over to the bed because she could see how upset Clara was getting...**

**"Sweetheart...What is it...what's the matter!? Clara...!"**

**Clara...wouldn't or couldn't answer her shaking her head and,pushing Mum away as she tried to put her arms round her.**

**Mum was getting worried about what was wrong and didn't know how long it would be before Dave arrived or even when John would be back with Daisy.**

**Suddenly,she heard the front door,and John's voice,talking to Daisy,**

**" Better go and wash that face Missy,before you go in to see Mummy"**

**"Oh,thank heavens" she thought.**

**..."John...!" his Mum was calling from the bedroom in a panic...**

**John pausing in the hall looked down towards it.**

**""Daisy...stay there..."**

**"But John..."**

**"Stay there...please sweetheart,I'm just going to see what Nanny wants" he kissed her on the forehead...**

**Going down the corridor to the into the room,he found Clara on the bed having hysterics,and his Mum trying to calm her down, not that she would let her.**

**"What is it...? The babies...?"**

**John was starting to panic,himself.**

**"Mum!?**

**"She's been like this for the last ten minutes,I can't calm her down,I've tried,John...I don't think it's the babies,though...**

**She tried to put her hand on her cheek.**

**"Clara please.. what is the matter? You are going to make yourself ill,carrying on like this!"**

**Clara was trying to pull way from both of them.**

**"N-no,go-way l-leave me a-alone...you don't w-want me John...bet-er on your own...Y-you don't care about me!."**

**"John", came a little voice.**

**"Is Mummy okay?"**

**He looked over at Daisy stood in the doorway...**

**"She's a little tired and upset sweetheart... Mum could you take Daisy and give her a drink of squash please, I will see to Clara"**

**When she gave him a look.**

**"It's fine...really...please" he pleaded.**

**"...Daisy...go with Nanny..you can come back later...there's a good girl"**

**"Come on sweetheart,I've got some of those nice cookies,that you like..."Trying to lead her out of the room.**

**When Daisy looked back, at John trying to pacify Clara...**

**"Mummy will be alright,John will look after her."**

**As they left the room,with Daisy giving them another look...**

**...John then sat down on to the bed and was trying to put his arms round her,Clara was having none of it...**

**"No...I don't want you..." pushing him away from her.**

**"Clara, What on earth is the matter? Please talk to me...Darling,tell me"**

**John could not believe the change in her,in the time he had been to pick up Daisy.**

**Clara,was lay turned away from him on the bed,she was still sobbing slightly and John put his hand on her forehead,pushing her hair away from her eyes.**

**She didn't feel as though she was running a temperature.**

**"Go...away, go away...You don't want me!" She kept saying,won't talk to me,so what's the point you don't love me!"**

**"Clara...course I do...I love you very much"**

**"No...you don't,you treat me as though,I'm a child,as though I'm stupid...go away leave me alone...! sod off...!"**

**"Clara...look if you don't stop this and Calm down,I will have to get the Doctor to you and ...!"**

**Sitting up and turning back to him furiously...**

**"Oh that's your answer to everything isn't it,John,send me away where I won't ask any questions,then you can bring up the babies on your own...that's all I am to you...a ****fucking**** baby machine!"**

**"CLARA!"**

**John hardly heard her swear only, when Daisy was being bullied at school...and never the F word...!**

**Clara looked at him then started to giggle and said,with the back of her hand to her mouth...**

**"Oh...your face,John...! I'm sorry,didn't mean to say that!? l- I can't help it...please don't leave me!" She was starting to sob slightly again.**

**"S-sorry...I r-really can't ..."**

**"Hey...Clara,it's okay...I'm not going anywhere" John put his arms back round her. "Come here you silly thing..."**

**Clara was against his chest now as he lay back on the bed with her.**

**"Everything is going to be alright now,course I'm not going to leave you..."**

**He kissed her on the head.**

**"Never!"**

**She was starting to calm down now,so he said,**

**"Clara,do you want to tell me,what the problem was...is? Why you think I am treating you like a baby making machine,though never that I don't think you are,sweetheart..."**

**"You won't talk to me!"she replied back to him.**

**John seemed puzzled by this,**

**"About what?"**

**"Money"**

**Looking down at her said,**

**"You don't need to know anything about that,only that you will want for nothing Clara...you and the twins...Daisy"**

**Clara sat up away from him then.**

**"This is what I'm on about, John,now you are,treating me as stupid again...as a possession!"**

**"I don't mean too,I'm sorry..." he said.**

**"You never tell me anything John, every time money is mentioned,you either clam up or say,I will never want for nothing.**

**This is what I mean about treating me as stupid,and I'm not...!"**

**"I know you're not,anyone who at eighteen can bring up a baby on her own For the last seven years isn't ,if it means that much to you,we will sit down with Rory and get him explain my money situation to you."**

**"Really? You are not just saying that,John?"**

**"Not at all, thinking about it,Clara,maybe you should know...it's silly to keep things from each other...after all we are partners right? Now how about a cup of tea?"**

**Clara was yawning ...**

**"Maybe later,just a sip of that water please"**

**She pointed to the jug and glass on the table beside the bed.**

**John poured it for her and Clara took it from him.**

**"Thanks" drinking some and handing the glass back to him.**

**she lay back down.**

**"John..." she yawned again..."I'm so tired, I do love you..." her eyes were drooping.**

**"I know,sweetheart,go to sleep...l love you too"**

**Clara was asleep.**

**Covering her up and with a final kiss on the head,went**

**towards the door,leaving it slightly ajar,went out to join his Mum and Daisy in the kitchen.**

**His Mum looked up as he walked in...**

**"She's sleeping" he said.**

**Sitting down at the table,next to Daisy who had a glass of orange squash in front of her and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.**

**"What...no Jammy dodgers,Missy?" he said.**

**"John...is Mummy okay?" Daisy asked.**

**"Are the babies making her sad? I want my Mummy back!"**

**She was starting to cry.**

**John looked over at his Mum.**

**"Oh,Daisy!" He said "Come here sweetheart!" Holding out his arms for her to come to him. She went and sat on his knee.**

**He put his arms round her.**

**"No it's not the babies that's making Mummy sad we are both looking forward to them coming very much,it's just that the babies are making her tired.**

**It's very hard work carrying one baby around,let alone two. That's when she gets upset,it will all be okay soon...don't cry...please sweetie..."**

**He did not want her to hate her brother and sister...**

**"Can I go and see her?" She asked him.**

**"Yes,later when she wakes up"**

**He picked up one of the chocolate chip cookies and bite into it,chewing it...said,**

**"No...rather have Jammy Dodgers...have you hidden them,bet you have...I know you Daisy Oswald!" Poking her tummy.**

**Daisy giggled at that.**

**"Tell you what,why don't we save these for later then you won't spoil your tea...have you any homework?"**

**When she shook her head,he said**

**"Well,how about going to do some drawing in your room until tea's ready,it's,shepherds pie,that Nanny made ..it's,lovely...Mummy ate all hers"**

**"Kay, John"**

**she said getting down from his knee.**

**"Nanny will call you when it's,ready!" Touching her on her cheek.**

**Daisy went out the room,he turned to his Mum saying,**

**"I'm going to have to talk to Rory ..."**

**"Oh" she said,not telling him Clara had been before she got upset...**

**"Clara thinks,I'm not talking to her,about money,though she could be right about that...I've been selfish,after all we are going to be couple.**

**She got upset,accusing me of using her as a baby making machine!"**

**He looked over at his Mum...**

**"I know this wasn't planned, and more so since we found out it was twins ...I do feel guilty about Clara having to do all the work."**

**His Mum put her hand on his face,**

**John,sweetheart,Clara is having mood swings,you know that,Dr Jones told you.**

**Thank goodness her blood pressure is alright. Six more months then it will all be worth it when the babies are here...**

**...Talk to Rory though,that might keep her calm,if she knows you are not keeping ****things from her.****"**

**John nodded at her.**

**Meanwhile 3.45pm**

**Rory had just seen out the last client of that day,and was updating some of the details of the interview on to the computer,when his intercom buzzed.**

**"Yes, Jayne" he said answering it with half his mind still concentrating on the screen in front of him.**

**"Rory, Amy for you on the other line...is,it okay to put her through?"**

**"What...yes of course" he said."Hi Amy..."**

**"Oh Rory they are so lovely...thank you...you didn't have to..." she said.**

**"Yes I did...Amy I don't tell you often enough how much I do love you"**

**"Neither do I " she said, "and I should...Rory,we need to talk...about the miscarriage,I think it's time we did don't you?"**

**"Yes," he replied "to each other,not to other people, or through them...I will be leaving for home in about an hour,when Tom's in bed,we'll talk then,okay?"**

**"Okay" she said...Then...**

**..."How was Clara,did you manage to talk to her?"**

**"Yes,she wanted to make sure that John talks to Dr Barclay,about his attitude towards,his..****Dad,****or rather his ****uncle**** if you think about It.I agreed with her."**

**"It's not so much he won't call him Dad anymore that's,not the problem,it's the bitterness when he does mention him."**

**"I see,"Amy replied."Do you think he will,talk to the Doctor?"**

**" I don't know,Amy,I really don't...perhaps if I'm there I might be able to persuade him too."**

**"I'm going to try and speak to him later,Clara is upset over something else as well"**

**"Oh,"Amy said.**

**Rory was telling her then about John not telling Clara,about his money situation and how upset she had been about it.**

**"Raggedy Man,should talk to her,after all they are going to be a couple" she continued.**

**" That's what I'm going to try and talk to him about...also to get him to update his will and get Clara to make one as well"Not that anything is going to happen," he said "But these things should be sorted,especially now the twins are on the way"**

**"...And there is also Daisy to consider as well" Amy replied.**

**"There are ways round that," Rory said to her.**

**"Maybe John will adopt her,once they are married.?" **

**"He will have to get the Fathers permission for that" Rory continued.**

**"I thought he had died?" Amy said back to him.**

**"That's what Clara said to John,when he first met her,but he seems to think that's what she told Daisy... I think he left when she found out she was pregnant"He sighed.**

**"Amy...much as I love them all,do you think we could talk about us,for now...I will talk to John later!"**

**"Okay,Rory...I can't wait until you get home...think a,certain person can't as well" She said.**

**"Then,when I've read him his story,we'll talk,alright?" Rory said.**

**"Come home,stupid face...I love you...can't wait to see you"**

**"Me too...see you soon...love you!"**

**Rory disconnected the call.**

**A/N**

**So they have all got talking to do.**

**Dave and John have a chat.**

**There is also visit to see Dr Barclay.**

**Please read and review.**

**Chapter 56 soon.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 56**

**John was sat in the lounge,Daisy was in the kitchen having her tea with his Mum.**

**She had told him that there was enough shepherds pie if he wanted some,but he had refused,because he had eaten with Clara at lunch time.**

**Besides,he wanted to eat with her later,when she woke.**

**He wasn't sure if it was because of all the upset, didn't really feel all that hungry at the moment.**

**Dave wandered in then, Mary had told him all about Clara having hysterics. He noticing that John was,staring at the TV, though was not really watching it.**

**"Well,I enjoyed that it's nice not having to cook for a change,your Mum makes a great Shepherd's pie,John" making conversation.**

**"What?..." looking towards Dave. "Yes...Yes,she does" he looked back towards the TV again.**

**"Did you not want any? There's plenty left."**

**John's head shot up...back to him again.**

**"I said I'm not hungry...for Christ sake...Dave,will you stop wittering on about ****bloody ****shepherd's ****pie!**** I am eating, not ready for anything yet...later...okay!"**

**Dave's face had fallen at his sharp words.**

**John closed his eyes and then opened them again.**

**"Sorry,Dave that was uncalled for,I don't mean to snap...I'm just worried..."**

**"About Clara?" He asked him gently.**

**John nodded,then said.**

**"You must hate me..."**

**"W-what..John?" Dave looking puzzled at the question. "Course I don't ...why would I hate you?"**

**"For getting Clara pregnant...and for the situation we're in now" John said to him.**

**"John..." Dave looked at him and at the door in case Mary or Daisy came in then. **

**" ****You**** are talking a load of ****'fucking ****nonsense**** .' Did you do this on your own...I don't think so...it takes two to tango as the saying goes...I love my Daughter,but I think she is just as responsible for this as you are!"**

**"She is so upset..." John said "I caused that!"**

**"No,you didn't!" Dave retorted."Clara is no angel,I love her but she like her own way...hey I found that out when she was a teenager.**

**Did she tell you about going off the rails then?"**

**"She did say something about you tearing your hair out with the worry of it!" John smiled at him.**

**"It was a wonder I wasn't bald..." Dave said "I really thought that I was going to lose her,if Nina hadn't died...! "**

**He paused looking over at John.**

**" I sometimes,wonder if that's why I ****'disowned'**** her when she got pregnant with Daisy,because I was,frightened of losing her again. I pushed away first. I think if she hadn't met you,I never would have seen her again,I would have died a lonely old man!"**

**"Oh I don't think it would have come to that, you would have found a way" John said to him.**

**"Clara and you are very alike...obstinate, I think that's where Daisy gets it from"**

**"Yes...Daisy" Dave said "There nearly wasn't Daisy...because I tried to make Clara have a abortion, when she wouldn't,have her adopted.I didn't see Clara or her for seven years...I regret everyone of them...missing out on her ****babyhood.****I think that's why I was so upset with you before,John..."**

**"Oh...why?"**

**"The confusion over,you and your Mum,I mean it seems,silly now after all what's in a name? It was soon explained...Daisy's a bright girl as well...and I'm really looking forward to the twins coming"**

**..."Yes" John replied "I do love her like she is my own...**

**" I know..."Dave said...pausing "Look John,I realise you have... ****problems****,and its,not yours...or even 'Mary's' fault...it's...your..."**

**" DON'T FUCKING CALL HIM MY DAD...HE'S NOT!"**

**John had gone white then...looking at Dave in fury.**

**"John...we all know,he's not...but ...unless you talk about what happened to you..."**

**"NO! NOTHING DID!" John was shouting now fists cleansed...there was a look on his face,then it passed.**

**"John? Why are you shouting at Grandad?"**

**Daisy had come in to the room,because he was turned away from the door,he hadn't seen her.**

**His Mum was stood behind,hands on Daisy's shoulders.**

**Looking over at the TV,noticing there was a football match on,turned back to Daisy saying...**

**"I'm not shouting at Grandad sweetheart...I was shouting at the football match...l told you that wasn't ****'off****side'****...Dave..."**

**..." thought it was... if you say it wasn't..John ...sorry! "Dave said playing along for Daisy's sake, both knowing they were ****not**** referring to the football match.**

**"Tell,you what,Daisy...why don't you go and get ready for bed and I'll read you a story? Then we'll go and see if Mummy's awake before you go to sleep"**

**"Kay,John"she said going out the door...**

**John went to follow her,his Mum touched his arm as he passed saying,**

**"Are you alright?"**

**"Mum,I'm fine...it was a silly argument,my fault...sorry Dave...I'll go and sort ****Missy**** out,see you both later?"**

**Mary,let it go...when the door closed,turned to Dave saying,**

**"What was that about? You're not pushing him again,please Dave,you promised."**

**"Mary!" I didn't...not really!"**

**When she looked at him,puzzled,he told her what they had been talking about before Daisy and her came in.**

**"Mary...John and I, we're getting on great,but don't you think he has a ****'problem'**** over this ****Daddy**** business with your brother in law?"**

**"I don't think it is any thing to do with you,Dave" Mary retorted.**

**"It is...if it is going to affect Daisy...I mean we were able to pull back this time,but is she going to be right in the middle next time.?" Dave said.**

**"There won't be a next time,because John is going to talk to the Doctor tomorrow...Rory will make sure of it" She said to him.**

**"If you say so..."**

**He looked,at his watch.**

**"I best go it's,getting late.I will see Clara tomorrow,as,it looks,as though she's not going to wake tonight...I'd rather let her sleep...**

**...Will you tell her I was here,give her my love? I will stay with her if you and John still want to go to the hotel"**

**Mary nodded at him,as he said then.**

**"Mary,I'm trying to get on with John for your sake as well...I'm really not pushing him,tell him and Daisy,I will see them both in the morning,Okay?"**

**She smiled and kissed him on the cheek,**

**"I know,Dave...sorry,I'll see you later back at the hotel"**

**Dave walked to the front door thinking as he went...**

**There was a problem with John over this ****'Daddy'**** business, he was sure of it... Had Rory thought so too. Was there something underneath that he couldn't or wouldn't remember...?**

**... Mary,well she was like a mother hen with her chick at the moment either,didn't realise or want to admit anything was wrong with John.**

**He made his mind up when he got back to the hotel,he was going to ring Rory and talk to him about this.**

**Amy and Rory's the same time...**

**Rory was sat at the table with Amy having his evening meal.**

**He had got home from work at his usual time.**

**Has he got out of the car,Tom had run out of the house to meet him...**

**" Uncle Rory...Uncle Rory" throwing his,arms,round his middle... **

**"Ouf!" Hello mate...how,are you...have you have a good day?"**

**"I got ten out of ten on my spelling test...and Auntie Amy said I could have hot dogs for tea...do you want a hot dog...? can we play football? Then read another chapter of our story...? Then..."**

**"Woe,woe...slow down...Tom!" Rory laughed,with his hand on his head."We will be able to do all that,one thing at a time okay,let me say hello to Auntie Amy first..."**

**..." Come on then!" Tom said grabbing Rory's briefcase from where he had dropped it on the path,then pulling him by his,hand towards the front door,Amy was stood there watching in amusement.**

**"Hello stupid face...I missed you too..." she said softly as she kissed him,touching his face.**

**"Ugg...Yuck...Tom said.**

**"Hey..."Amy said,"I thought you liked my kisses"**

**" That's different...yours are Mum's ****kisses" ****Tom said to her.**

**Rory noticed that she had a tear in her eye when she heard that...**

**"Tell you what,why don't you go and put that in my office for me" pointing to his briefcase.**

**"I'll go and get changed then we'll have that game of football,okay?"**

**"Kay..Uncle Rory..."**

**Amy followed him upstairs as he was loosening his tie...**

**"Amy,we will talk" he said to her, "but Tom has to come first,right?"**

**"Yes he does,"She put her arms round him. "There is also Raggedy Man and Clara's problems to sort,both of us will do it together,alright.?"**

**He nodded at her as Tom's voice came upstairs...**

**..."Uncle Rory!"**

**..."Coming, mate!"**

**"Later then!"Amy grinned at him..."I'll tell him your on the way while you get changed"**

**With a final kiss,Amy went to go back downstairs and Rory got changed into jeans and a t shirt.**

**After a game of football,Tom ate his way through ****three**** hot dogs,John was right he thought,he did have hollow legs!**

**Rory only ate one,as he would be eating with Amy.**

**By the time he had put Tom to bed and read him a chapter of the story they were reading...voices included,Rory was knackered!**

**Amy came back downstairs,from saying goodnight to Tom with kisses,and cuddles,as usual,Rory was dozing off on the sofa.**

**She touched his face...he jumped.**

**"Sorry...sweetheart,Supper in ten minutes,okay? Rory you must be shattered...how about an early night? We can talk tomorrow."**

**He rubbed his eyes,and smiled at her.**

**"No it's fine...besides,I have to ring John and Clara,see if everything is okay,with them. ...Amy it's only the first day,it must get easier after this..."**

**"I'll dish up then..." she said.**

**They had just finished eating,and Rory had only eaten some of his which Amy put down to him being tired,and to be fair had also had a hotdog with Tom...His mobile rang...Picking it up,noticed that it said...****'Dave'**

**Looking over at Amy said puzzled...**

**"It's Clara's Dad"**

**"Dave? Hope everything is okay..." she said.**

**"Hello...Dave...is Clara alright? John?"**

**"Rory,Rory,there is no panic,I'm sorry to bother you,I know you must have had a long day at work.**

**In fact it's both of them I need a chat about!" Dave said. "Especially,John"**

**"Why...what's happened...is he alright?"**

**Rory was panicking."Thinking Oh God...what now!"**

**" Yes...No...it could be something,I'm not sure" **

**He began telling him how John had been earlier,when his ****'Dad'**** was mentioned.**

**"He was actually shouting,swearing...? Saying that nothing had happened?" Rory said.**

**"Yes,he seemed adamant about it also so ...hurt...**

**...Rory it was something in his face as though it is hidden...maybe I imagined it? He is upset about Clara,at the moment,it could be that?"**

**"Maybe..." Rory said not wanting to worry him.**

**"Clara is she alright?"**

**"Not really,Mary said she got upset this afternoon,when John went to pick up Daisy from school...**

**...She wouldn't stop crying,they both managed to calm her down.**

**...You spoke to her,before Mary said,did she seem okay then?"**

**"Sort of I think she is worried about John,for the same reason as you...his Dad. Look Dave,I will try and sort it,get him to talk to the Doctor tomorrow...**

**...There is also couple of things I need to talk to them about,not only as their friend,but as their solicitor,I can't really tell you what..."**

**"I know,that's okay...that's between them and you..You will ring me tomorrow,let me know how it all went? I haven't said anything to Mary about this"**

**"What about Clara?"Rory asked.**

**"No,I haven't really talked to her today,she's,been asleep since four...I will see her tomorrow,John is spending the morning at the hotel with Mary,they want to start planning what needs doing.I'm going to sit with Clara.I won't say anything to her about this until I speak to you."**

**"Right,look Dave I will ring you let you know what happens.I don't think it's anything to worry about...is just..that John is very angry at the moment,about...you know as well as me who at, also the way Auntie was treated by him as well! I'll speak to you soon, Bye for now..."**

**He disconnected the call...**

**"Trouble?" Amy said to him.**

**"Not sure," he replied "You heard most of that?"**

**" Yes...is John okay? Clara?"**

**"Think so,for the moment" he replied."It's just...**

**...John is getting more angry when you know who is brought up,Clara,as been upset and crying,though that could be because of the babies...she is worried about John,I know because she told me herself. "**

**Rory rubbed at his face,'God he was tired!'**

**"I'm going to have a,fun time explaining all this to Dr Barclay tomorrow."He said.**

**"Rory...I don't think we had better talk about us tonight" Amy said to him. "You're tired and its not fair on you...all this,at the moment you are being pulled three ways,and are in the middle of it all"**

**"...but Amy..." he started to say.**

**"No Rory,you need to concentrate on Raggedy Man,there is something wrong isn't there...**

**...What is it that you think happened to him? I saw your face the other day" she said to him.**

**"When...?"**

**Don't give me that... Rory, the day he found out ****Auntie**** was his,****Mum****...you said he hadn't 'touched' John in that way"**

**"What way?"**

**"RORY!" Do you want me to draw you a ****bloody diagram...!"**

**Rory closed his eyes,**

**"Amy,I did see something in his eyes that day,but wasn't sure,Christ..I hoped not.I don't think even John knows or he doesn't remember it. Now Dave seems to have picked up on it as,well!"**

**He rubbed his face again ...**

**"What a bloody mess!"**

**Rory went and sat down on the sofa,putting his head in his,hands...Amy looked at him and then went and sat next to him,her hand on his said,**

**"What are,you going to do...?"**

**Looking up he said.**

**"I think I'm going to have to talk to him,****before**** we see Dr Barclay.I can't just ask him when we're there tomorrow in case I'm wrong.**

**What if he doesn't remember it,or even if he does won't admit it ****did**** happen,you know how obstinate he can be Amy..."**

**"Oh,yes...Will you say anything to Clara?"**

**"No,not yet" he replied "I think we'd better see how this all plays out first,right?"**

**Amy nodded at him.**

**"I have no clients tomorrow,only paperwork to catch up on,I was,going in later anyway,has I have to take John to the hospital.**

**There is also someone coming to see his flat and to pick up the furniture...I have to go and sort that...**

**...Think I will get him to meet me at Masters and I can have a word with him there before we go on to the hospital."**

**"That's a good idea...are you still ringing them tonight? It's nearly nine" she said.**

**"I need to see how Clara is,and to tell John the 'arrangements ' for tomorrow,I won't say anything ...Amy,I'm too tired to take on John's problems tonight"**

**"You do that"she said, kissing him and then, bed...no arguments,besides I think a certain person will be jumping up and down on ****our**** bed before seven..."**

**Rory smiled at that...**

**"Amy,do you think I could do the school run tomorrow,I don't really need to go in until after eleven..."**

**"Course...it's your turn anyway,stupid face!" **

**She kissed him again.**

**"Now go and ring John,while I load the dish washer,then it's bed for both of us!"**

**Amy went into the kitchen,as Rory headed for his office,shutting the door he went and sat on the chair behind his desk.**

**Picking up his mobile phone,he dialled John's number...**

**"Hello" came a sleepy voice on a yawn..."Sorry"**

**"Clara?" he said "It's Rory,how are you sweetheart? Where John ?"**

**"He's in the shower...I know it's you Rory I recognise your voice...I'm fine,though I did get a little upset earlier"**

**"Oh,you did?"**

**He didn't let on that he had spoken to her Dad and already knew ,didn't want to upset her any more today.**

**"Yeah,after I spoke to you this afternoon in fact, I couldn't stop crying...been doing lots of that since we found out about the twins,hormones...I'm okay now"she paused,then...**

**"You will try and get him to talk tomorrow,Rory?"**

**"Clara,I will do my best" he replied.**

**"Sweetheart,it's Rory for you,I'll just go and have my shower,bye for now,love you...same to Amy and Tom"**

**John must have come back in from the bathroom.**

**"Love you to sweetheart," Rory heard the phone being handed over.**

**"Rory...mate how's things?" **

**Well he seems in a good mood,he didn't want to upset that,not tonight.**

**"Great,everything is fine,Amy and Tom are well,send you their love"**

**"Did you talk to Amy?"John suddenly asked"About the miscarriage?"**

**"No-no not yet" he said.**

**"Rory,now you said you would..."John replied.**

**"I'm not trying to get out of it,mate it's,hard you know...I did send her some flowers though"**

**'Christ... John how do I sort ****my**** problems when I need to sort yours as well' he thought.**

**"Well it's a start" he heard John say " you both should talk to each other talking...helps"**

**"Well I hope you remember that tomorrow" Rory said sarcastically.**

**"Rory...are you okay?" John asked him.**

**He sighed," Fine...just tired,first day back at work,I'm off to bed in a minute"**

**John couldn't see him,but he could tell there was something...**

**"Rory...you would tell me if there was something wrong?"**

**"...Course..." Rory had his fingers,crossed behind his back...'The fibs I've told in this last few days' he thought.**

**" Look, John I've got a young couple coming to look at your flat tomorrow at ten they seem very ****interested...**

**...also Robinson's is going to pick up the furniture"**

**" Whatever" John said disinterested." I just want rid you know that"**

**"Yes,I know,just keeping you informed. I will tell you how it went when I see you tomorrow" Rory said "Can you come to the office and we'll go onto the hospital from there?"**

**"Oh...I was going to drive up, I suppose I can come up on the train" John said.**

**" It might be easier" Rory said"We can take my car,I can put you on the last train back to Tadchester, come to the office about five,I need to talk to you anyway"**

**"Oh,about what...?" John asked.**

**" Couple of things really"**

**Because he didn't want John to think he was up to something though he felt he was himself...and it wasn't like him to be sneaky said,**

**"Do you remember me doing your will about,ten years,ago?"**

**"Vaguely" John replied " We had just qualified,it was for practice?"**

**"That's right,it was legal though as we both had a licence...don't you think you should update it now you are getting married,and of course there's the twins plus Daisy to think about?"**

**" Why,what do you think is going to happen,Rory" John asked him with amusement. "Do you think I'm going to pop my clogs?"**

**"It isn't funny,John!" Rory stated.**

**"I'm being serious,for ****fucking**** once...nothing is going to happen, it pays,to be prepared,you as an ****ex ****solicitor**** should know that...you did mine remember?"**

**John sobered up then,**

**"Okay,okay,Rory...I'm sorry I was only trying to lighten things up ,guess I'm nervous about tomorrow"**

**Any other time Rory would have laughted it off as well,but he was worried about the conversation he was going to have with John tomorrow, God not tonight, '****please' **** he was too ****bloody**** tired and wanted his bed!**

**He sighed,**

**"John,it's fine...didn't mean to fly off the handle. Has I said,I'm tired,so will you come to the office for five? We don't have to be at the hospital until seven,so can have a coffee and a chat?"**

**"Yeah...okay,I'll be there for then" he replied."See you tomorrow then,mate...sleep well"**

**"Yeah...night John" Rory hung up.**

**Going back into the lounge,Amy was sat on the sofa,she jumped up when he came in.**

**"How are they?"**

**"Both okay...John was in a good mood...**

**...Hope he will still be tomorrow night,when I've talked to him.**

**Amy,I am doing the right thing,talking to him like this" he paused "I'm not a Doctor"**

**"No, you are his,friend" she said "You can advise him,be there for him.I know he can be an awkward sod at times,he can be talked round...**

**...You have proved that over the last month's,no at least since you've known him!"**

**Rory looked at her smiled then went to sit down...**

**"Oh no you don't,stupid face...bed and that's an order" **

**...But..."**

**"I know you,Rory Williams,you'll sit down and go fast asleep,then wake up about four in the morning with a bad headache and in a,bad mood!"**

**She pushed him towards the stairs,**

**"Go on,do as your told,I'm the boss,right? I'll be up soon."**

**"Oh always...yes boss!" Rory replied with a grin as he headed upstairs.**

**When Amy came into the bedroom ten minutes later Rory was on his,side of the bed fast asleep,she smiled as,she turned his lamp off. Kissing his head.**

**"I love you,stupid face!"**

**Meanwhile**

**John lay in bed. Clara was fast asleep next to him.**

**She had slept a lot today,but really must have needed the rest.**

**Thinking about it,things must be catching up with her with,what had happened to them both over the last month or so...He put his hand lightly on her stomach,she was coming up to three months,but looked slightly bigger because of the twins. **

**Clara was only petite,just over five feet in her bare feet...John smiled and kissed her on the cheek,turning the lamp off.**

**"I love you,all three of you..." he whispered softly. His own eyes closing.**

**Wednesday 6.30 am**

**"Shush... Tom, let Uncle Rory sleep awhile longer,he's very tired!"**

**Amy was awake,and had been waiting for their bedroom door to open,so she could stop him jumping on the bed,at least for this,morning...She wanted to let Rory have another hour as he had a long day ahead coping with things,especially for John...**

**"Come on,Tom,downstairs,breakfast" she said.**

**Amy pushed him through the bedroom door,**

**"Aw! Auntie Amy,I wanted to have my breakfast with Uncle Rory" he said.**

**" I know,sweetheart, he will be up soon,and he is going to take you to school today"**

**Tom brightened at that.**

**"Wicked!"**

**At half past seven,Amy sent Tom to get dressed for school,and taking a cup of coffee placed it on the table next to Rory's side of the bed.**

**"Rory,it's time to get up.I left you as long as I could,if you want to take Tom,you will have to move now" she said.**

**Rory opened an eye...**

**"A-Amy...What time is it?" he asked yawning and stretching.**

**"Twenty five to..." she replied.**

**...Right" he said back.**

**"...eight" she finished.**

**"WHAT!" Rory's eyes shot open and he jumped up out of bed...**

**"Why didn't you call me earlier...Amy!"**

**Amy grabbed his arm,**

**" Calm down,Rory you don't have to leave for a hour,you needed the sleep more,drink your coffee,okay,then go and have a shower"**

**Rory sipped the coffee,as he sat on the end of the bed,saying.**

**" I wondered why I wasn't being jumped on this morning...where is he?"**

**"Getting ready for school,he's really looking forward to you taking him by the way."**

**Amy thought that he looked slightly better than last night,she hoped so,with all he had on for today.**

**Apart from what he had to sort out for John this morning,she hoped and prayed that everything would work out this,evening when he met up with him,that he would not fly off the handle.**

**"Best get a shift on,Rory...I'll get you some breakfast..."**

**"Okay.." he said as he headed for the bathroom.**

**Amy went downstairs,**

**Tom was sat on the sofa,looking at his reading book from school.**

**"Auntie Amy..." he said.**

**"Yes, sweetheart..."**

**"Will I be going in Uncle Rory's car to school?"**

**"Of course,he will take you on the way to his office" she said.**

**"Cool..." Tom replied " my mates will see me in a posh car"**

**Rory who was coming down the stairs,heard the end of the conversation said,**

**"Morning, mate...!"**

**"Uncle Rory...! " Tom ran and put his arms round him.**

**"Posh car,Tom? It's not a posh car...you've been in Jane's car?"**

**"Yeah, I can say its...my Dad's" though Tom replied. "My mates have Mum's and Dads,it's like I have too...that's okay isn't It?"Looking up at Rory.**

**It was early days,Rory looked over at Amy,he seemed pleased about the ****'Dad'**** comment.**

**"If you want to... I'll just have the toast,Auntie Amy made for me and then we'll go"**

**Amy appeared,in the doorway with a plate in her hand.**

**"Go and clean your teeth,Tom..."Amy said to him. "Make sure,you have everything,okay"**

**Tom ran up the stairs,Rory said to her,**

**"Did you hear what he said?"**

**"Yes,Rory, it's only been four days. We shouldn't count our chickens just yet."**

**" I know,I know ****as a solicitor,Tom will have to be here at least a year before we consider adopting him" he continued "That's what we would both want right?"**

**"Oh, Yes" Amy said..."Very much"**

**She smiled. "I like it when he makes comments about me being his Mum as well!" She pushed the plate of toast into his hand... **

**"Here,eat this before he comes,down...he can't wait to get in to your ****'posh'**** car.**

**By half past eight,Rory was in the car with Tom heading for the school.**

**Amy had kissed them both telling Tom she would pick him up at three as usual.**

**By twenty to nine,they were parked outside the school.**

**"There you go Tom" It was only a short journey ten minutes at the most.**

**"Tell you what why don't Auntie Amy and me take you for a run out in the car on Sunday,would you like that?"**

**"Yes please,Uncle Rory,could we have a picnic?"**

**"If the weather is fine" Rory continued.**

**" I've got to work late tonight,I have to take Uncle John somewhere,so I won't be back until after you've gone to bed,perhaps Auntie Amy will read to you or we can have two chapters,tomorrow?"**

**Tom looked slightly disappointed,but said,**

**"That's okay,we can do the voices tomorrow night,Uncle Rory" he leaned over to hug him.**

**He went to get out of the car,as he did Rory said,**

**"I will phone you when you get back from school,and you can talk to Uncle John as well,he is coming to see me at my office...would you like that?"**

**"Oh yes...!"Tom brightened at that..."bye Uncle Rory,love you,see you soon"**

**"Yeah...bye mate"**

**Tom ran off down the path to the school .Three boys stood there and he turned and pointed back towards Rory's car...**

**He looked really pleased and proud as though to say 'that's my Dad' Rory thought...maybe?**

**It was about nine,now,and he headed to John's flat...**

**He would be early,the young couple were not due until ten.'**

**Robinson's were due half an hour before that though,to pick up the furniture.**

**John had seemed indifferent about it when he had spoken to him last night. At the moment,anything to do with his 'past' could set his temper off...think if I told him I had got him a 'fiver' for the lot..he'd except, wanting rid that much...Rory thought.**

**Letting himself into the flat,he put the kettle on,there was still coffee and tea bags in the cupboard.**

**Amy had put milk in the car for him,saying that the young couple might want a drink...Rory hadn't really thought about it,so caught up in John's problems. It wouldn't be the first time Rory had drunk his,coffee black!**

**Rory made himself a coffee and stood near the kitchen window looking out..It really was a lovely flat,so it was,a pity that John was selling,but if he wanted to get well,he needed to.**

**The door bell rang going down the hall,Rory opened it.**

**There was a man in overalls stood there.**

**"Robinson's Gov,come to pick up the furniture."**

**"Right" Rory said."Come in..."**

**"What's to go?" the man asked,he had been followed in by two young lads.**

**"All of it!" Rory said.**

**"All!" One of the young lads said,"Jesus...we'll be here all day!"**

**"Hey,less of your lip,your here to learn,don't be so' ****bloody'**** lazy...Sorry Gov...youth training placements.**

**Rory tried to hid a smile,**

**"Sorry,but I'm paying to have the lot moved,the flats being sold."**

**In less than half an hour,the flat was cleared,Rory signed the,sheet to say what had been taken (including the two antique pieces that had upset John so much!) He had already agreed a price and the money would be paid into John's bank account.**

**The men were about to leave,when the young man,came back in.**

**"Could I have a glass of water? **

**Sorry about before,I don't usually swear like that,this is not what I want to do,move furniture for the next twenty years...!"**

**"Oh,"Rory said..."Why do it then?"**

**...because I'm trying to save up to go to college,this rate it's going to take ten years"**

**"And what is it you want to do?" Rory asked.**

**"Don't laugh...a solicitor!"**

**"Really,that's,what I do "Rory replied."Look this placement thing your on,wouldn't you be better doing one at a solicitors chamber's instead of lunging furniture about.**

**"Tried to,but I couldn't find one to take me on"**

**Rory shook his head at that..."What's,your name?"**

**"Simon..."**

**"I'm Rory,Williams...you have got your O and A levels?"**

**When Simon nodded,he continued,**

**"Could you come and see me at Masters chambers,tomorrow at two?" He gave him one of his business cards...I could have a word with my boss,we sometimes take people on apprenticeships. We can have a chat"**

**The man with the overalls came back in...**

**"Bloody hell Simon,I thought you were only getting a drink of water,you could have got a bucket the time you've been...come on...we've got two more jobs before we're finished! Hey,mate there's a young couple at the door,something about looking at the flat?"**

**"Right...Oh right..." Rory said."Bye Simon...see you tomorrow"**

**"Thanks,Rory,looking forward to it" He followed his boss out,and Rory walked to the door.**

**There was a young couple stood on the step.**

**"Mr Smith?" The young man said...**

**"Ah,no" Rory said..." Rory Williams,I'm selling on behalf of my friend John Smith"**

**"Will Davis,this is my wife Marie."Rory shook hands with them both.**

**"Come in" he said" You will want to look round?"**

**"It's not very big,but I suppose it would be enough though for two,my friend lived here for two years,with his wife"**

**"Have they moved on to somewhere bigger?"**

**Marie asked.**

**"Not really..."Rory said,John's wife died..."**

**" Oh,I am sorry..."she said.**

**"It's sort of complicated" Rory said,not wanting to explain about John's private business to stranger's.**

**"He was,getting a divorce...,and his,new partner is expecting twins Clara is..."**

**"I knew a girl once called Clara" Will said with a far away look in his,eyes..."Clara Oswald she was called...**

**"What...!"Rory's mouth opened and closed...then**

**"Your Daisy's Dad...oh my God...!"he didn't believe it,would have sat down,only there was nothing to sit on.**

**"Daisy,you mean it's,the same Clara,she had the baby... She told me she was going to have an abortion..."**

**Marie just looked from one to the other...Rory thought that she didn't know anything about this,as well.**

**"I'm sorry...I think,we had better leave it for now...Marie,we need to talk" turning to his wife,then back.**

**"I'm sorry,Rory was it? I'm not sure if we will be buying the flat,pity really it seems a nice flat..."**

**Rory thought he seemed a selfish sort of person.**

**"Marie,I want a quick word with",he nodded towards,Rory, "then we'll talk okay?"**

**"Right,I'll wait in the car...!"She seemed angry,going outside.**

**..."So I've got a daughter"Will said.**

**"It's a bit late to be concerned about her now!"**

**Rory said bitting his tongue to stop him getting angry.**

**"Seven years,Clara was on her own,until she met John...her Dad disowned her because she wouldn't have an abortion."**

**" Told me,she was going to...we were barely eighteen,to young to be tied down with a baby" Will said. "Could I see her,Clara,I mean?"**

**"I really don't think so...she has had a scare with the twins this week...I think John wouldn't like it for starters" Rory replied."Neither would I!"**

**"Wouldn't that be up to her?" Will said.**

**"I can ask...because she nearly had a ****miscarriage,****I should leave it to John to tell her or not" Rory said.**

**"Now,I think you should go if your not going to buy the flat,and I think you have some explaining to do to your wife, here," handing him one of his business cards.**

**"That's where I work,I will ask John,Goodbye..."**

**Rory arms folded,watched as Will walked towards the door.**

**"Bye...Rory,I'll be in touch" he waved his hand as he walked out.**

**"Shit..shit.. Rory said to himself. 'Something else to sort out for John,as though he hadn't got enough,could thing's get any worst?...**

**A/N**

**Good place to end that chapter?**

**So Rory has met Will**

**Though he must be thinking what Clara**

**Saw in him?**

**Has also met Simon**

**John will talk to his Mum.**

**Rory will talk to John.**

**Visit to Dr Barclay...hopefully.**

**Chapter 57 soon.**

**Please read and review **

**Thanks.**


	57. Chapter 57

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 57**

**Wednesday Morning**

**John was on his way to the hotel,it was just after nine,and he had taken Daisy to school.**

**Things had changed round slightly,he was doing the morning run today,and Dave would pick Daisy up at three,as he had to go up to London to see the Doctor again with Rory.**

**Not that he was looking forward to that!**

**Clara had woken up in a good mood today,which he was thankful for,even Daisy had not played up,not that she ever really did. John thought that it wasn't going to be easy for her,going from being an only child,to the eldest with a younger brother and sister.**

**He and Clara would have to make sure she got the attention,no matter how busy they were with the twins.**

**He walked into the reception,Kate was on duty.**

**John hid a smile,thinking about earlier in the week when she had tried to jump Rory upstairs.**

**She wasn't called 'kiss me Kate' for nothing...but you could not help liking her!**

**"...Morning John,how's Clara?" She asked as he walked toward the desk.**

**"She's fine,still in bed resting... in a good mood today "****Looking at the bookings book,which was open on the desk.**

**"Only,three in tonight?" **

**He looked at Kate.**

**"Hmm...perhaps things will get better when you have the extra rooms built,and advertise?" She said to him.**

**"Hope so..."he said.**

**The staff had been told about the plans for the hotel,by his Mum.**

**John would be investing into it.**

**They had also been told that he was her Son and not her Nephew,the same reason was given as to Daisy.**

**His Mum had told him that Kate had remarked to Molly,**

**"That with John in charge things would go at a pace and there would more business,maybe more work for them all..." John hoped so.**

**"Is Mum in the office?" he asked.**

**"Yes,she's been in there since eight,told me to tell you're to go straight in when you got here. Coffee?"**

**"Yes please..."John smiled at her as he headed towards the office door.**

**Kate headed to the kitchen behind the desk.**

**John put his,head round the door.**

**"Hello,Mum...I'm..."**

**She was sat on the sofa near the window,when John came into the office,it looked as though she had been crying.**

**"Mum..." John started into the room...towards her."What is it! What's the matter?" **

**"John,I'm okay..."she wiped her eyes,"Just being silly"**

**He then noticed the photo albums on the chair next to the sofa.**

**..."Are these pictures,of...my Dad?" he asked picking up a couple that were on her lap.**

**"Yes,I was looking through my album's to show you,and I got...got" She couldn't carry on as the tears were starting again.**

**"Oh,Mum..." **

**Sitting next to her on the sofa,he put his arms round her as she cried.**

**" I'm sorry, this as brought back bad memories if it hurts too much perhaps we shouldn't..." he started to say.**

**His Mum,put her hand on his face,has John looked the photo's in his hand.**

**"No,lots good ones,besides you should know. I was having a sad moment thinking about what 'ifs'.Our lives might have been so different. I know he would have been so proud of you,John"**

**"Really?" He said..."I'm not a Doctor or even a solicitor any longer"**

**"What you are,doesn't matter,sweetheart" she said to him "Are you happy?"**

**"Happy?" He looked at her " Course I am,happy to have found you... to be a husband and Father,have the family I want at last!"**

**There was a knock on the door,Kate came in then with a tray of coffee.**

**She put it down on the table in front of them both,then went back into the reception.**

**"Thanks Kate..." John called after her,as she shut the door.**

**His Mum poured him a coffee,as she handed him the cup,said to him.**

**"John,will you promise me something?"**

**" If I can" he replied.**

**" When you see the Doctor,later today with Rory,promise me you will talk to him and not get upset?"**

**John sipping his coffee said,**

**"I will try..."**

**"John,I know how hard this is,going to be for you,to talk about it,especially when it was my fault this happened..."**

**John looked up suddenly,then.**

**"No it wasn't...if it was anybody's...it was ****'HIS'**

**The cup John had been holding clattered on to the tray on the table in front of him.**

**His eyes had gone dark...**

**"John...please,I know,you don't want to call him,****'Dad' " ****She said softly, "But you might have to admit what happened, or you won't get better"**

**John suddenly looked defeated,**

**"Please,I don't want to talk about this,not now...today is about ****'us'**** you and me getting to know each other.**

**If I promise to talk later,will you let it go,for now?"**

**"I don't want to fight with you,John,so okay"**

**She took the photos that had fallen on to the table when he had dropped his cup.**

**"Do you want to see these,this is your ****Dad****...**

**Master's Chambers**

**Rory had returned to his office about eleven. Jayne had brought him Coffee and then left him to it,as she knew he had files and things to update on his computer.**

**He had not got very far.**

**He needed to talk to Amy.**

**Instead of asking Jayne for a direct line to his home,not that she would listen in,decided to use his mobile.**

**It rang three times before he heard her voice...**

**"Hello"**

**God! he needed to hear her voice...**

**"It's me..." he sounded upset..**

**"Rory? What's the matter? It's not John...Clara?"**

**"No...their both fine,least I think so!Though something as happened.**

** Haven't I got enough to sort out for him without this ..."**

**"Rory...Will you calm down and tell me,what you are on about?**

**Your talking in riddles...I haven't got a clue what you are going on about." Amy replied.**

**"The young couple who came to look at John's flat, the man,it was Will"**

**"Will?" Amy seemed puzzled.**

** Rory said,**

**"Clara's Will...Daisy's Dad."**

**"Oh right...and..."**

**"He wants to see Clara" Rory continued.**

**"Could you have ****not**** told him about Clara?"Amy then asked.**

**"It sort of came out because she was called 'Clara' when I mentioned John and his partner were selling the flat..**

**...Amy...I'm sick to death of all this...how many more lies do I have to tell!" Rory was getting agitated now.**

**"I'm suppose to be a solicitor,have an oath of honesty for God sake! The more involved I get with John's problems...the more I tell!"**

**"Rory,will you calm down..." **

**Amy said too him. She could see him pulling his hand through his,fringe which he did when upset...**

**"Look you can't lie to John over this,even if he gets upset over the other ****'thing'**** He will have to decide what to tell Clara because of how she is at the moment,right?"**

**"I tried to tell Will how things were with Clara and that she nearly miscarried a few days ago...I know it wasn't exactly, that, but I thought I might put him off"**

**...And what did he say? "Amy asked.**

**..."Just that he would be in touch..."Rory said.**

**"Amy...you're right,I will have to tell John,he will have to decide what to do. Will is Daisy's father though,he has...rights..."**

**"WHAT! "Amy burst out.**

**"He has had nothing to do with Clara or her for the last seven years!"**

**"Doesn't make any difference..."Rory said.**

**"He thought Clara had an abortion,because that's,what she told him. If he took her to court,he could turn it round and say she lied to him!"**

**"Would it come to that?" Amy asked**

**"I don't know...I really don't,but even if he doesn't, sue for custody I mean he could go for access...**

**...Can you imagine how this is going to be for Daisy?" Rory said. "Clara, told her Will died"**

**Amy bit her lip,this was getting more complicated by the minute.**

**Rory loved his job,but it was on days like this,she wished he was a plumber!"**

**"So what now" she said to him.**

**"Can't you warn him off...Will I mean?"**

**"Amy! I'm not the '****bloody Mafia' ****Until I speak to John, best leave alone.**

**It will be his call" Rory said.**

**"Look depending on how this all plays out,I told Tom I would try and phone him later,he knows I won't be back before he goes to bed"**

**He looked over at the computer.**

**'I'd best try not to think about John and his,problems,least for the next four hours,I have so much work to catch up on' he thought.**

**"Best go,Amy...lots to do before John arrives" he said.**

**"...Hey,stupid face...everything will be okay,things have ways of sorting themselves out" she said to him.**

**"Hope so" he replied.**

**"Amy,it's just I sometimes think,when will you and me get our lives back to talk about our problems?**

**Not that I want to abandoned John and Clara,never ever that"**

**"I know,and we will talk about us soon,I promise" she said.**

**'I also promised Raggedy Man' she thought.**

**"Phone me later,let me know how it goes if you can,sweetheart?"**

**"If I can...bye Amy,love you...love to Tom in case I don't"**

**Put down his mobile,Rory turned on the computer and tried to forget John's problems and got on with his work.**

**Later 3.30pm**

**John made his way from the hotel to the station. He'd had a very good day with his,Mum.**

**The train to London was due in ten minutes,so he had plenty of time to get to Master's to meet up with Rory. In one-way,he was glad that Rory had suggested this, because he could sit and think! Driving was quicker,but so tiring.**

**Has the train pulled out of the station,he thought about all the planning, they had done in the hours he had spent with his Mum.**

**Sitting down in his seat,and looking out of the window...**

**They had both been up to the attic space,which was,on the top floor,it could be extended with the floor,below where his Mum and him already had rooms,plus there was the kitchen and bathroom down there.**

**Some junk would have to be shifted from the top, floor a lot of it looked as though it had been there donkeys years, once that was moved, the space was huge! **

**It could be converted into family space for himself and Clara also,two bathrooms,a nursery for the twins.**

**Daisy could have her own room and bathroom. His Mum would have her own flat below,it just needed modernising. John had phoned two builders to come on Monday to see him at the hotel,to give him estimates.**

**Yes...things were moving now,As soon as this was sorted,they could start planning the wedding. The building of the extra rooms on the grounds could wait until after they were married,he wanted to get his family settled on the premises and the twins safely here...They were also going to take Daisy back to see Rory and Amy next week to see if Tom had settled in and so the girls could go wedding shopping!**

**While they were,away doing that as long as Clara,was okay,then.**

**Mum was going to sort out the Marquee,for the day and also see her friends about the food and the wedding cake.**

**They had spent a good hour looking at photographs of his Dad...his mum had been,upset at first but then it seem to help her as well...looking back at the past.**

**John smiled,in his pocket were the two pictures of his real ****Dad**** to show Rory...He just needed to get rid of this...feeling about ****HIM**** Would talking help? Was there anything there too talk about? Rory...Dave...even his Mum seem to think so...Why couldn't he remember if there was?! God his head ached thinking about it...**

**"London Central..."Time had marched on while he was thinking.**

**John got up out of his seat and made his way,off the train,down the platform,handing in his ticket,he decided to get a taxi.**

**It was only four thirty,he would be early,but didn't think Rory would mind.**

**Even with the London traffic, John arrived at Master's by quarter to five. **

**Going into the familiar building after all he,had worked here for four years until he resigned three months ago.**

**Security signed him in,and gave him a pass that would,allow him access to the floor Rory was,on.**

**Rory's Office.**

**Rory looked up from the computer,he was sure that he'd heard John's voice talking to Jayne in the outer office.**

**John was sat on the desk,talking away to her,as Rory looked out of his office.**

**He looked very animated as he was telling her how Clara was and the latest thing Daisy was up to.**

**She liked John,and was sorry that he had resigned,but was glad,he was happy now with Clara.**

**She had met Sue once, though and didn't really like her,thought she was a right Cow! She wouldn't dream of saying so to him or Rory...**

**Looking up she noticed Rory watching them from his,office door. With his arms folded.**

**"Jayne, still waiting for the Jones file,when you've got a minute. Do you want to come in here John? Two coffees would be nice as well,when you've finished your chat" He said,turning round and walking back into his office.**

**John got off the,desk...**

**"Sorry," He said to Jayne."Bad mood...?**

**"Yeah,looks like it" Jayne said as she got up to make the coffee.**

**John followed Rory into his,office and shut the door behind him. Looking at him as he sat down in front of Rory's desk said.**

**"That,wasn't very nice mate,talking to Jayne like that"**

**Rory shrugged his,shoulders at him.**

**"You were early...Jayne's supposed to be working" he replied.**

**"Don't be so petty,Rory..."John answered him.**

**Rory opened his mouth then to say something else,but Jayne came in.**

**"Two coffee's"**

**She said putting the tray down on the desk and then handing him a folder that was under her arm.**

**"The Jones file..."**

**"Er,thanks" Rory said.**

**"See you tomorrow? Sorry I snapped" **

**"That's,okay Rory,see you then,bye John" she said going back out the door.**

**"Yeah bye Jayne"**

**Rory handed John one of the coffee's then taking the other,sat down in his chair.**

**He sipped at it as he looked over at him.**

**"Well,what did you want to talk to me about"John asked.**

**Drinking some of his own,then putting the cup back down on the tray.**

**"Couple of things,but I need to tell you something first,it's come up since I spoke to you last night" he said to him.**

**"Sounds serious.."John replied.**

**"Your flat..."**

**"What about it,you know I hate talking about that...I had hoped you'd have got rid of it?" John continued.**

**"Not really" **

**Rory said pushing his hand through his hair.**

**"The furniture's gone,but...**

**"But..."John said "thought you said that a young couple were interested in it"**

**"There was," Rory said "because of who he was it fell through..."**

**"Why,what was up with him,Rory? Did he have two heads or something?"**

**"John,it was Will..."**

**"Will?" John was as puzzled as Amy had been.**

**"Oh,for God sakes! Clara's Will...Daisy's Dad!"**

**John sat up then.**

**"What!...did you tell him about,Clara?"**

**"Yes...it had come out because of her name...'Clara' "**

**"Bloody hell Rory!" John was stood up pacing the room.**

**"John,will you calm down"**

**Rory was getting worried about him now.**

**" It's no good covering up this...it would have come out...look he wants to see Clara,I told him it would be up to you,your call"**

**"You do know,Clara told Daisy,he'd died?" John said.**

**"Yes,you told me,and its because of that it's no good lying about it,John" Rory said back to him.**

**"Why not we could move,take Daisy away"**

**"What!" Rory was staring at him in amazement " "Do you want to lose her John?"**

**"No!" he shook his head "Of course not!"**

**"Then don't be so ****bloody ****stupid****, that's as good as going on the run.**

**You know as well as I do how it works "**

**"God" John said sitting back down rubbed at his face.**

**Then he got up and started pacing again.**

**" That flat is like a,flipping stone round my neck,if I hadn't got it,Will might not come out of the woodwork"**

**"You don't know that John,he might have found Clara another way...Tadchester's not that small" Rory said.**

**"Look will you ****fucking**** stop pacing and sit down!" John subsided into the chair in front of Rory's desk again. Head in his hands, he looked up at Rory...**

**"What the hell am I going to do" he asked "I...we can't lose Daisy!"**

**"Woe,John" **

**Rory came round his desk and put his hand on his shoulder.**

**"I don't think it will come to that,Clara,has looked after Daisy on her own for the last seven years,you are about to get married..."**

**"He thought Clara had an abortion...what if he turns round and says she lied to him?" John more or less repeating the conversation he'd had with Amy.**

**John was remembering his solicitors ****training. Rory knew then he could not lie to him.**

**"John,look he might or not even want to see Daisy..."**

**"So you think he only wants to talk over 'old times' with Clara then" he said sarcastically.**

**"John,stop this. Look,****if**** or even ****when**** Will gets in touch,we can sort it." Rory said.**

**"I'm going to have to ask Clara if she wants to talk,in case he does" **

**John continued."I will at least have to tell her he's back again,right?"**

**"That's up to you,mate,but I think you should" Rory said."We will have to take it one day at a time" **

**"...What about me"John said "my problems? If it does get to court,won't it get brought up?"**

**"It could do...,but you are doing something about it,you are having counselling with a Doctor" Rory turned John towards him...**

**..."That's one of the other things I want to talk about.I asked you last week,if your..." **

**Rory paused there not knowing what to call him,to John.**

**"You know who I mean,John... I'm going to ask you,again" He looked him in the eye,holding John by his shoulders.**

**"John...did he ever touch you inappropriately in anyway?"**

**..."Rory...I"**

**John looked so defeated.**

**" I don't know...I have been getting ****so**** upset lately when ever,****HE**** is mentioned,perhaps there is something? I don't remember! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't!"**

**He was starting to get upset...Rory decided not push it.**

**"Okay,John..I believe you.**

**if Dr Barclay still wants to use hypnotism on you,would you be willing to go through with it? I'm not going to push you,but this might be the only way to find out"**

**John looked doubtful at him,then his face changed.**

**Looking up and turning to Rory said.**

**"I'm tired of not being me,not knowing who I am.**

**It is neither fair or right on you and Amy,let alone,Clara and my family ,yes I will go through with it"**

**"You are quite sure?" Rory said to him.**

**..."Don't worry,Rory you won't have to tie me down,just be there,okay?" John replied.**

**"Of course!"Rory patted him on the shoulder,sat back down in his chair again.**

**" You said something about my Will? Updating it?"**

**"Yes,"Rory said looking at his watch,"but we could do that another day,we will have to leave soon or we will be late for Dr Barclay"**

**John looked at him,**

**"Do you think we could do it when we come back to yours next week,I need you to explain to Clara...a few thing's,about my finances"**

**He continued.**

**"In fact,Mum wants you to put it on a legal footing,the ownership of the hotel,for the three of us"**

**"It would go to you and Clara once you're married, and the twins as well" **

**Rory said to him,**

**"There's Daisy.I can put a clause in about her,you were thinking of adoption later?"**

**John nodded at him,**

**"Perhaps it's as well Will is back on the scene,you are going to need him to agree to that"**

**Rory said..**

**"Anyway...next week,the three of us will sit down.**

**I could start the paper work tomorrow,John,now I know what you want...then all you and Clara have to do is sign"**

**..."What about,Mum?" John asked**

**"She could come down one of the days you are visiting us,if that's okay? Rory said.**

**"Fine...Rory...We want you and Amy to have guardianship of Daisy and the twins,if anything should happen to Me or Clara"**

**..."John...nothing is,going to,are you sure? What about,your Mum...Dave?"**

**Rory seemed surprised at this request.**

**"I discussed this with Mum today...because of her and Dave's ages...they feel it should be you and Amy,but they would have a say in their upbringing" John looked at Rory,**

**"You wouldn't mind,taking on my 'kids.?"**

**"...Mate...I would be honoured, so would Amy.**

**Shouldn't you discuss this with Clara first?"**

**"I will,but I think she would agree,even after a short time,she loves you both. and trusts you..as I do"**

**Rory said,**

**"I will get,everything drawn up for next week,but I'm sorry,John,it's six fifteen,we are going to have to leave now...we won't get there on time if we don't..."**

**"Oh right" John pulled a face..."come on let's get this over with"**

**By the time they had locked up the office, John had handed his pass back in and were in Rory's car,it was half past six.**

**Rory looked over at John,he was quiet,but resigned.**

**He wondered how the next hour was going to go with Dr Barclay...**

**A/N**

**Chapter 58**

**John's appointment with**

**Dr Barclay.**

**What will he find out.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	58. Chapter 58

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 58**

**It was a little before seven as Rory pulled into the car park at the hospital.**

**Looking across at John who had been quiet for the short journey,he was now sat with his eyes closed.**

**"... John,"**

**"I know we're here" he said back to him.**

**"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rory asked.**

**John opened his eyes then and looked at him.**

**" Rory you said to me,days ago,as well as today,that I might never know any other way why this has happened to me,as long as your there..." **

**John started to get out the car,but then changed his mind,put his hand on Rory's arm, who looked at him in puzzlement.**

**" I need to show you something before we go in "**

**He reached into his pocket and took out the two photographs his Mum had given him.**

**" This is my Dad...my' ****REAL'**** Dad he said handing them to him.**

**Rory looked at the two photographs in his hand.**

**One of them was of a young man a lot like John in looks,in fact he would think he was looking at John if he didn't know it wasn't him.**

**He was wearing a,cap and gown.**

**"That was when he qualified" John said." The other one is him and Mum,about the same time"**

**Rory could tell it was,a young looking Auntie looking up at the young man in the photo and laughing at him.**

**"... Yes,that is definitely your Dad,John" **

**Rory said to him then looking back at the photos.**

**"Though you do have a look of Auntie as well,that's how we realised,she was your Mother"**

**" I know,Mum showed me photos of her and her sister when they were little,they were very alike in looks,I think that's why they could pass me off as their son,I was nothing like her husband,so maybe I would have realised later...if he hadn't killed me first.!" John said with bitterness.**

**"I saw pictures of him as well...I nearly ripped them up,but there not mine to do that,are they?" **

**"Perhaps Auntie only keeps them,because her sister is in them,was she?" Rory said.**

**"Yes.. I don't think she looked happy"**

**John said back to him,then looking away. **

**" I don't think she was happy!" He sounded tearful.**

**Rory looked at him,then touched him on the shoulder...**

**"John...You still want to do this? Only if you do,we will have to go now,Dr Barclay will think we're,not coming,it's ten past"**

**"No Rory,I don't want to do this"John wiped his eyes..."but I'm going to!" **

**John got out of the car then and strolled purposely towards the reception entrance,Rory locking the car,dashed after him.**

**"John...wait slow down..."**

**He caught up with him at the security desk.**

**"Hi," he said to the man on the desk.**

**"John Smith, I've...we've got an appointment with Dr Barclay..." looking as Rory came up behind him.**

**"If you will just sign the visitors book,so we know who's here" he said. Both signed in..."You know the way to his office?"**

**"Yes,thanks,"John said "Been here before",**

**He set off down the corridor,like a whirlwind...**

**Rory following stopped him.**

**"Bloody hell! John will you slow down,you won't get this done any quicker!"**

**By this time,they were outside,Dr Barclay's office. The door,opened.**

** Doctor Barclay stood there.**

**"Arh... there you both are...come in, come in..."**

**" I'm sorry we're late" Rory said to him,pushing John in front of him,forgetting what he was going to say to him.**

**" That's okay...traffic,I expect..."**

**"Not...rea..." John started to say, "Ow!" Rory had kicked him.**

**"Yes," Rory replied...**

**"I'll just make coffee and we'll start with a chat" Dr Barclay was saying as they followed him in.**

**"You big fibber! Rory Williams,"John said...rubbing his ankle.**

**"Shush" They both followed him into the main office, where Dr Barclay was making three coffee's,**

**"Sit...sit..Carol goes home at Five,so we can chat in here,for once."**

**"Chat..."John said."Thought he was going hypnotise me?" looking at Rory...**

**"John!" Rory warned pushing him on to the chair. "please calm down and sit still for five minutes,it doesn't work like that."**

**He put his head down to John's level.**

**"If you want to get well,you have to listen.**

**Not only too me,especially to him"**

**Pointing over to the Doctor.**

**"...And calm down,he won't if your worked up okay?"**

**He patted him on the shoulder.**

**John nodded,sat still on the chair...**

**Dr Barclay put the coffee's on the desk and sat down on the chair in front of it. Chin on his hands.**

**"Are you not sitting down,Rory?"**

**"Yes, yes of course ..." he sat.**

**"Now",Dr Barclay said,**

**"John,how have things been this week? How have you been coping with the medication?"**

**"Fine..."John shrugged his shoulders.**

**"Oh ...God" Rory thought... 'Don't clam up now,John...usually his mouth runs away with him!'**

**"What about the nightmares,have they gone"**

**"Think so" John said.**

**Dr Barclay looked from John to Rory...**

**"Has something happened? Forgive me John, you were more talkative than this last week"**

**John looked up opened his mouth,then...**

**"Sorry...I need the loo...feel sick..."he got up and headed for the door.**

**"No,Rory...I will be,ten minutes,okay?"he said,**

**Has he got up to follow him.**

**The door closed.**

**"He seems more subdued,Rory...is he still staying with you and your wife,Amy wasn't it?"**

**"No,he returned home with,Clara a few days after we saw you last time,though he has had some shocks,things have happened.**

**He's's,coped. We think the new meds have helped,in some ways"**

**Rory began telling him about John finding out that his Aunt was his Mum,and how angry he was at first thinking she had given him away because she didn't love him or want him.**

**"I see "the Doctor said."They are getting to know each other? John has forgiven her?"**

**"I think they are working through it" Rory said.**

**The biggest problem at the moment is the resentment he feels for his ****adopted ****Dad****..." He was,telling him how John seemed,to hate him,why and wouldn't mention his name if he could help it."**

**" Right...hmm, do you think he did anything to John ,Rory?"**

**"I-I'm not sure" I did tell you last time that I thought he was hurting John?"**

**Rory looked over then at the Doctor.**

**Well he remembered that he was hit,kicked smacked,even punched by his ****Dad.**** John remembered when it came out about his 'Mum'...though how a grown up could do that to a three year old..."**

**Rory shuddered he said,**

**...I have asked John ****twice****,if he did anything inappropriate,the answer was,he couldn't remember and got more upset if I pushed it..."**

**"What about,his partner...does,she know,about this?"Dr Barclay continued.**

**"Yes,they have no secrets from each he had another shock there as well" **

**Rory was telling him how they had only just got home and thought Clara,was having a miscarriage,then it turn out to be twins...**

**"And he copes with all this...?"**

**" Yes it's just that block of something from when he was three.. a lot of the time,he seems happy especially with the way his life is,going now" Rory said. Looking at his watch.**

**" I best go and see where he is,he's been gone twenty minutes..walking to the door,turning back said to the Doctor.**

**" I think he,wants to find out what happened,will you hynotise him?"**

**"I agree...,but it's,up to John...go find him and we'll ask"**

**Going out the room,Rory went down the corridor to the bathroom. Inside,he was ready to ask John what he was playing at.**

**He wasn't there...stood back in the corridor,looking left to right.**

**'Fuck' he thought which way would he go. Rory headed back to the reception.**

**The man on the desk,looking up said,**

**" If your looking for the guy you came in with,he's outside near the main entrance"**

**Rory heaved a,sigh of relief,**

**"Thanks" He headed to the doors.**

**Outside it was just starting to get dark.**

**He could make out John sat on the bench near to the door.**

**Head in his hands,he didn't hear Rory approach.**

**"John,there you are...!" **

**Putting his hand on his shoulder had made John jump.**

**"Rory,I'm sorry...I didn't mean to disappear, needed some air,has it been ten minutes?**

**It's been over half an hour John. Look,if you don't want to do this,we can go home..."**

**It was as though he had been crying, John looked off into the distance.**

**"I'm a coward..." he said " I want to do this,but when it comes to it...I can't...Rory,I'm scared"**

**"Then we go home...No one is going to make you do anything you don't want to" Rory said to him.**

**"No..No, you don't understand,it's not that..."**

**looking back at Rory...**

**" I'm scared if I don't the nightmares will come back and I will do something stupid...like before with the pills..."**

**"John,I've told the Doctor what has happened to you this last week,he has agreed to the hypnotism...**

**...No one is going to force you though,it's up to you."**

**John laughed then,**

**"I'm the one with the problems,your the one who is getting analysed"**

**"Oh...well,thirty years of knowing you,John I must need it" Rory joked back to him.**

**John got up...**

**"Come on lead me to it then"**

**" What..." You're going to go through with it?" Rory seemed surprised.**

**"I'm sorry to mess,you about Rory,typical me, if I don't do it,there will always be a worry about losing Clara,Daisy and the twins,if not now In the future...it was just a wobble that's all"**

**Going back into the reception,the security man called out,**

**"Are you feeling better now?" John had dashed out as white as a sheet before,that he thought he was going to be sick!**

**"Yes,everything's okay now" John said."Thanks..."**

**They went back down to Dr Barclays office,he was sat where Rory had left him.**

**"I must apologise for my behaviour,Doctor "John said to him,I panicked..." **

**He looked at his,watch,by now it was quarter to eight.**

**"It's getting late,I can understand if you have to get home,not that I'm trying to get out of it" **

**He said looking back at Rory.**

**"John,John,it's okay!" Getting up,Dr Barclay took John's hand in his,patting it.**

**"After all you are,only human...we have all the time in the world...this is what these sessions are for,so we can talk...**

**...Even if it takes,all night...**

**...you have made..up your mind,do you want me to go ahead and hypnosis you?"**

**"Yes..." John said,with another ****scared**** look back at Rory.**

**"...Don't worry,John,I'll be there...That's alright isn't it?"Rory said to the Doctor.**

**"Of course,that's why your here,Rory..."Dr Barclay said to him," Shall we go into the other room?"**

**They both followed him into the room then,**

**"Rory,if you will sit In that chair there,"**

**he pointed to one next to his desk...**

**"Now John I know you weren't keen on laying down on my sofa last time, I really need you to this time to do this,is that okay?"**

**Taking his jacket off,John lay down it was,surprisingly comfortable.**

**Don't go to sleep on me,yet John I need to have a talk with you first right...where is it...ah" **

**There was a noise like a drawer banging and then,the Doctor appeared in John's eyeline with what looked like a coin on a chain?**

**"What's that?" He asked.**

**"This is my trick coin,John," he said to him,sitting on the chair next to the sofa.**

**"So you are going to wave that in front of me and I go to sleep,right?"**

**"Not exactly,it's just a focal point so I can send you off,I want you to concentrate,look at the coin...count back from 20 for me,John..."**

**John stared at the slightly moving coin.**

**"20," he said.19,18,17,16,15,1-4..1-3 "he said slowing down.**

**"Good he's going under"**

**The Doctor said quietly to Rory who was sat watching from his,chair fascinated.**

**"He's a good subject not everyone is.**

**You can close your eyes,John.**

**Can you hear me?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"Then don't listen..."**

**"He won't hear us unless I want him to" the Doctor turned to Rory.**

**"You told,me last time how your,Dad looked after him when he was little...after the accident? If he gets,frightened or upset,I might need you to..."**

**"Pretend,to be my Dad? I have been doing that on and off for the,last month when he was in nightmares"**

**Rory said."I'm use to it by now"**

**"Right,"Doctor Barclay turned back to John.**

**"Can you hear me now John?"**

**"Yes"**

**"You will only tell me the truth,no lies,now okay?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"How old are you?"**

**"34..."**

**"Are you a solicitor,John?"**

**"No gave that up...not very good. Rory's better than me. Things,go wrong for me. Like what I'm doing now"**

**"Which is?"**

**"Going to run a hotel with my Mum...and Clara"**

**"And your very happy with that?"**

**"Oh yes...Clara's my soul mate,don't know what I'd do if I lost her and the twins, there's Daisy as well,got the family I want...Rory calls ****ME**** 'Super mum'"**

**Rory smiled at that.**

**Then Dr Barclay said,**

**"Don't listen again John okay?"**

**Turning back to Rory.**

**"The reason I'm asking him questions like this is because when I send him back further to his childhood,I want him to be as truthful as he can as a child that is,be prepared in case,he gets upset"**

**Rory nodded at him.**

**"Okay,John I'm back now...you can listen again"**

**He said.**

**"John focus on my voice,"**

**"Okay," **

**"I want you to go back,back to what ever age you can remember.**

**How old are you John?"**

**"Two...go way,not supposed to talk to strangers,Daddy says I've only got to talk to him or Mummy...maybe Auntie.." he said in a petulant voice.**

**"You are a good boy " the Doctor continued."That's alright,I'm a friend of Mummy's so you can talk to me"**

**"Kay.."**

**"Where's Daddy,John?"**

**"At work...have to be in bed before he comes home...or he shouts at M-mummy...hits her..spanks me...not done anything...Want "A-Auntie..."**

**John was starting to cry.**

**Rory opened his mouth to say something...but the Doctor put his hand up and shook his head.**

**He bit his lip,it was no good saying he was his Dad as they hadn't moved to Leadworth then...in fact his Mum was still alive.**

**Neither had met Amy yet.**

**"Hush now, John it's alright,you will be able to sleep well tonight...Daddy is not coming home...Auntie is coming to see you,bringing you a present"**

**The Doctor said to him.**

**John wiped the tears away, smiled.**

**"A-untie I love her...Daddy doesn't like her,says she's just put up with cause Mummy's her s-sister..."John said in his two year old voice.**

**"Well,you will see her soon.."Dr Barclay continued,patting him on the shoulder."John go to sleep now,don't listen."**

**He turned to Rory then,who was white faced.**

**"Are,you alright with this...I know,it must be hard for you listening to it?"**

**"I promised him...I need to hear this as well, what happened... He paused.**

**"God,I didn't know him then,we lived in London at that time.**

**What must he have been going through.**

**No wonder he was always scared,that's when he was allowed out to play with us...I think this is making me remember from then as well, things I'd forgotten.I use to think he was such a baby...when I first met him,made fun of him."**

**The Doctor looked at John and then back to him.**

**"Rory,you were only three as well,besides you are helping him now"**

**then...**

**"Onwards"**

**Onwards "Rory replied.**

**Turning back to John,Dr Barclay said**

**"John can you hear me,time to wake up..."**

**John yawned,stretched and said,**

**"Kay..."**

**"John,I want you to go forwards...**

**...You're three now, a big boy,what are you doing?"**

**"Going out to play...Mummy said I can...Daddy's a-way...don't let me" ...he sounded excited...at this treat...**

**Suddenly...John started to cry again...**

**"John,what's,the matter?"Dr Barclay asked looking over at Rory.**

**D-daddy,came home early...he-he spank m-e..said...said had to c-come home...**

**Not got to play,with R-Rory and Amy...their a,bad info..info.**

**...big w-word!" He said.**

**"Do you mean,influence,John?" Dr Barclay said to him.**

**"Yeah...want to p-play on the swings not fair...not fair...Daddy's shouting at M-ummy for letting me go to the park...PLEASE Daddy don't hit Mummy...No no!"**

**He was trying to get up off the sofa.**

**"Shush...John it's okay...okay" **

**The Doctor was trying to calm John down.**

**" John where do you feel safe..who do you feel safe with... ?"**

**"Rory's Daddy...doesn't smack...me" he said sobbing harder.**

**"W-wish he was my D-Daddy ..hhate my Daddy!"**

**"Then go to Rory's Daddy,John"**

** Doctor Barclay was saying,indicating for Rory to come over.**

**Rory moved over to him as John was really sobbing now...his heart went out to him.**

**"Johnnie,come on now,no-one is going to hurt you anymore...**

**...There's a good boy..."**

**Rory was stroking John's fringe away from his forehead, trying to settle him down.**

**" It seemed to be working," the Doctor said then,**

**as John gave a low sob and settled.**

**"John... sleep now..."**

**John gave another small sob, "Kay..."**

**"****Bloody ****Hell****"Rory said,Straightening back up from John,**

**"I remember that day,his Dad came bowling into the park,he was screaming,shouting and swearing at John...dragging him away" Rory walked over and sat back in his,chair...pulling his hand through his own fringe...he was shaking...**

**"I'd forgotten,how could I forget that...!" Looking up at the Doctor.**

**"Rory,like I said,you were t****hree ****,and you pushed it to the back of your mind as you got older.**

**The human mind protects itself,until something triggers it...hence what is,happening to John"**

**He got up...**

**"I'll make some coffee,then if you want to carry on?"**

**"Are you sure it's,okay? It's,getting late..."Rory said.**

**"Rory,Rory...as I told John before,we will carry on until we get to the,problem,even if it takes all night,you are happy to carry on with this?"**

**"Yes,but I should ring,Amy tell her what's, happening,maybe John should stay with us tonight? I was going to put him on the last train."**

**Rory continued.**

**"I wouldn't recommend that,he should be with his friends..."Dr Barclay said."Go and make your call,we'll take half an hour then go again?"**

**Rory looked over at John,**

**"He is sleeping,will be fine for half an hour...make your call, have a coffee"**

**With a last look at John,he didn't really want to leave him,but he needed to get out of that room.**

**Rory stood in the corridor,deciding what to do...he rang Auntie's mobile number first,he needed to check on Clara. if John wasn't going home tonight! Auntie was staying with her until then.**

**"Hello,Rory?"**

**"Auntie...**

**"What's,happening? Is John on his way home?"**

**"No," Rory replied."Could you stay with Clara,overnight? Is she okay?"**

**"She's asleep...is,John alright though? Rory?"**

**"He's,fine...it's just the talking is taking longer than we thought,so he won't make the last train.I could drive him...if you..."**

**"No Rory...you can't drive all this way,it's not fair on you,I'll stay" Auntie said.**

**"Thanks Auntie,he sends his love to Clara...tell her he will ring her tomorrow,bye for now"**

**God he was tired! It looked like another day off for him tomorrow luckily it was only Simon he had to see tomorrow, that wasn't until two,he could go in for that.**

**He rang Amy...**

**"Hello,stupid face...are you on your way home?"**

**"God... I wish..." he said to her...**

**He began telling her how John was,what was happening to him.**

**"Rory,is he...Will he be okay?" She sounded tearful.**

**"Amy...he...I..."**

**"Rory...? Amy thought he sounded upset.**

**He swallowed the lump in his throat,**

**"Things are coming out, ****forgotten ****things ****it is taking longer than we thought,that's why he needs to stay at ours,tonight"**

**"What about Clara,?"Amy asked.**

**"Auntie is staying the night.**

**...Rang before you,She's sleeping. Amy I was glad she was.I wouldn't have known what to tell her,somehow it was easier telling Auntie,though I didn't tell her exactly what is going on"**

**Rory rubbed the back of his neck.**

**"Rory talk to me...what's happening?" Amy was saying.**

**"Amy I don't know if you remember John's Dad coming to the park,screaming and shouting at him? It was one of the days he must have been allowed out to play,or so we thought...well,he..."**

**Rory described word for word what John had said,and how as he was telling it,he had remembered as well!**

**"Rory,it's vague, his Dad,I can remember John being upset,a few times...trying not to cry..."**

**"I think that was me,though" Rory said, "telling him he was a baby if he did. I was so angry at him,you were mothering him. I was so jealous Mum,had died six months before,when my Dad moved us back to Leadworth."**

**"Yes,I remember" Amy said."Rory,sweetheart,neither John or me blame you for anything it was,kind of sweet you cared...**

**...John came back,after they died,you carried on caring then,why do you think I married you stupid face? That's,one of the things,I love about you..."**

**"You do..."**

**Rory said to her.**

**"Oh Amy,I love you so much,I must get back"**

**Please go to bed...I'm not sure how long we'll be,hopefully soon,bye...love you and Tom,I'm sorry I didn't ring is he okay?"**

**"Yeah,he's fine,knows your Somewhere with Uncle John.**

**I love you to...stupid face" She said.**

**"See you soon"**

**Rory disconnected the call,he looked at his,watch,it had been nearly half an hour,he'd better get back.**

**Has he went into to Dr Barclays office,the man looked up,**

**"Sorry I've been so long,I had to ring his Mum as well as my wife.**

**Clara needs someone to stay with her, if he's,coming home with me..."**

**He looked over at John,who was,still sleeping...**

**"Rory,he can't hear unless I let him. Look have this Coffee and then we'll go again"**

**He put the cup in front of Rory.**

**"She is okay,his partner?" He asked.**

**"At the moment,but since they found out about the twins,she has been on bed rest for two weeks,mainly because they are,getting married in seven weeks"**

**"I see,"**

**"John has spent today,with his Mum at the hotel,they are hoping to move into the top floor there once it is modernised."**

**"So he copes,with different aspects,of his life...then " the Doctor said.**

**"Oh John is at his happiest when he's sorting things out and doing things for other's" Rory said.**

**"Even though he said he's not a very good solicitor?"Dr Barclay continued.**

**"In his,own way he was"**

**Rory replied.**

**"It's just sometimes,when things go wrong,he blames himself.**

**It's as though someone is telling him he's useless...maybe that so called Dad of his?"**

**"Maybe..." the Doctor was tapping his chin with his fingers..."You say he won't call him Dad at all?"**

**"Not the 34 year old John...No" Rory said,**

**"In fact..."**

**Rory felt in his pocket,he still had the photos John had been showing him when he dashed in to the building earlier.**

**He had shoved them in his pocket.**

**"Auntie,gave him these earlier,his real Dad.."**

**"Auntie?"**

**"John's mum,we all call her Auntie...John calls her Mum now...Daisy...Nanny I think"**

**"Hmm..there seems to be something here about his adopted Dad"**

**Dr Barclay said.**

**"I think we will get to it soon...**

**...Are you ready to go again,Rory?"**

**It was now nearly 10pm,Rory thought they were in for an all nighter...**

**"Yes..." They both went and sat back near to John.**

**"Don't forget ,Rory if he gets,upset or frightened...I will send him to you...your"...**

**"My Dad...yes I know," Rory replied.**

**The Doctor sat back down on the chair next to John.**

**"John are you awake?" He said to him.**

**"Hmm?"**

**"Come,on John,you can do better than that,talk to me are,you awake"**

**"Okay,!okay! Rory...and no I don't snore,...stop waking me up to tell me I do...bugger off..."**

**Dr Barclay looked at John in amazement,then back to Rory.**

**"What?"**

**"I think you've got a teenage,John there" he said laughing. **

**"And yes,you do!"**

**"Don't!..." John was,having a twenty year old argument with him.**

**"And I think that's enough of that..."the Doctor said,smiling.**

**"I don't think I want to referee a teenage argument tonight,thank you!"**

**"John,are you listening to me", he said sternly,**

**John tutted,then...**

**"Yes..."**

**John,I want you to go back again to when you were three"**

**There was a look of pure panic crossing John's face,even in sleep he looked frightened.**

**"N no...!" He moaned.**

**"John,what is,it? Tell me,is it Daddy?"Dr Barclay asked.**

**John started to shake,then...Rory looked at the Doctor...in panic...started to get up from his chair,but he waved him to sit...**

**"One minute..." he said quickly.**

**Rory subsided back into his chair.**

**"John,talk to me,focus on my voice...your quite safe...where are you?"**

**"B-bed" he said.**

**"Why are you in bed,John?"**

**"D-daddy said had to be p-punished I've been n-naughty"he said in a quiet voice...**

**"Did,Daddy ****spank**** you John?" He was asking him now.**

**John nodded,the tears were starting to come again...**

**"Ccant r-member" he said.**

**"Remember what,John?" Dr Barclay was asking him now.**

**"B-being n-naughty...D- daddy said h-had to dis-alpine me"**

**"Do you mean discipline,John...?"**

**Another nod...**

**"Daddy said,I come from bad blood...I'm a devil's child...ddont -u-understand" a puzzled look had come over John's face... **

**"WHAT!" Rory exclaimed starting up from his chair all of a,sudden...**

**"...John,sleep...**

**...Rory are you okay? I know this is hard for you to hear,but you must not,I repeat not do that...John is already in a shock state,regrested back to a time that's upsetting. For you shout or scream like that, if he comes round to quick,you could make him worst!"**

**"I'm sorry,"**

**Rory was walking up and down the room,in a loud whisper...**

**Even though the Doctor said John wouldn't hear them.**

**"...But,bad blood,how ****fucking**** dare he say that about that man there..." **

**He pointed to John,he was absolutely fuming...**

**"Auntie as well is worth fifty times more than her brother in law was,and thanks to him,his bullying ways,she was denied the right to bring him up...her own son!"**

**Rory was breathing hard now,and with an anguished look at John,turned, fleeing into the outer office.**

**Dr Barclay,followed him was,stood with his back too him,his hands on the desk.**

**"I'm sorry..." he said to him tearful.**

**"Rory,I can,bring,John round,if you do not want to carry on with this.I told you last time,I couldn't do it on my own,I have to have someone here."**

**Rory turned back round to face the Doctor,**

**"Will he remember any of this what we've talked about,be any better for it?" He asked.**

**"I don't know,we seem to be only,half way through the problem...I think... it's up to you,Rory"**

**Rory,rubbed the back of his neck..**

**'God,why is it always my decision,especially when it's to do with,John?' He thought.**

**But knew he would decide,because he loved him and was family,right...owed him to try and fix this.**

**For Clara,Auntie,Amy,Daisy...the twins. 'His own feelings didn't matter.'**

**"Okay...We'll carry on...and I'll behave...No more outbursts,I promise" He said.**

**"Rory...I do understand" the Doctor said back to him, "but this could be the only way to help,to get John to talk"**

**"I know,John as always been a difficult person to work out...he has always kept his heart hidden,even with Sue..."Rory said.**

**"I think that is part of the problem as well,but I think it is something more to do with his adopted Dad" **

**Dr Barclay continued.**

**"Rory,if it turns out,he did do something ****to**** John,could you cope with it?"**

**" I would have to...but I'm hoping it's not that...I ...we have all been thinking that, for has,been at the back of our minds because of the way he has been. He is doing this because of Clara though..."**

**"Oh,"the Doctor said.**

**"Why do you think that?"**

**"I know,I'm not a,****Doctor****...'Doctor'" **

**Rory said looking back at Dr Barclay,from where he was,perched on the end of the desk.**

**" But somewhere in the back of John's mind is the happy ending he wants,and knows he can have with Clara,Daisy and the twins...a proper family, if I can,I want to help give it too him!"**

**"Rory...I bow to your layman's experience,I like you,and especially John...I want to help him,so...**

**"Dr Rory" shall we go back into our patient"Dr Barclay said with a twinkle in his,eye...**

**" Okay..." They both went back into the inner office.**

**John was still asleep on the sofa,where they had left him.**

**"Well,if anything,he will be well rested at the end of this"**

**It was now,after 11pm.**

**Rory said yawning and stretching before he sat down on his chair.**

**"Are you sure about this,Rory,we could be hours,yet a lot depends on how John reacts to what I'm going to ask him...you don't have to go to work,tomorrow? I never thought to ask"**

**"I'm going to take the morning off,I have to go in,to give a career talk to a,young lad we might be taking on a apprenticeship at my chambers,but that isn't until two tomorrow afternoon." Rory said.**

**He grinned at the Doctor...**

**"I'll survive...I've had less sleep than this,in the weeks since I've taken on his problems"**

**They both sat down on either side of John.**

**"Well," Dr Barclay said,"Let's crack on?...John are you awake? Come on now,I need to talk to you"**

**All of a sudden...John giggled at him...**

**"What's so funny...? John?**

**"Playing...hide n seek..." John said sounding happy.**

**"Oh,are you,playing with Rory and Amy?" The Doctor asked him.**

**"No,silly... with ...Daddy...Shush...go way, hiding!" John put his finger on his lip.**

**Rory sat up then,glancing over at the Doctor,eyes wide as through to say to him...Ask...**

**"John,why are you playing with Daddy? I thought you were in bed..." he said.**

**"...Not...now...p-playing with D-daddy,sorry for smacking me,afore...special,b-boy...going to have cuddles,with him...read me a story...smells funny though..."**

**John's face screwed up at that thought...**

**Rory had gone white...he whispered.**

**"Oh...God... please... not that..."**

**Dr Barclay,touched him on his,arm and gave a look as though to say, 'shall I carry on? '**

**Rory nodded,but before...either of them could say anything else...to John...**

**"No...No...Daddy...PLEASE,don't do that...it's rude...go way,go way...!"**

**John was yelling,screaming and trying to push the Doctor away from him.**

** He curled up in a ball on the sofa.**

**Rocking and humming...**

**"John...what is it...?" Dr Barclay said then looking over at Rory," That tune...it sounds like..."**

**It's 'Twinkle,Twinkle little star' " Rory said with his hand on John's shoulder...**

**"Christ! Haven't heard that in years...Amy use to sing it to calm him down,when he came back after his parents,died"**

**He looked over at Dr Barclay.**

**"That's something else I'd forgotten about"**

**"I'm not sure,what happened,just then" the Doctor said,"John...can you hear me? John talk to me"**

**John was still rocking and humming...**

**"Rory,you try,see if you can get him to focus..."**

**"Johnnie..." When there was still no answer,Rory turned John's face towards,him.**

**"Johnnie...come on...it's Rory's ****'Daddy'**** talk to me...please,there's a good boy."**

**John stopped humming then...smiling up at Rory said,**

**"Hello.."**

**"John...Oh thank God..I know you are a good boy,this man is a Doctor,I want you to listen to him,okay? He's going to make you better"**

**Rory was watching John's face as he was talking to him.**

**"... H- have to have an injection?" John looked fearful at him.**

**"No...No injection," Rory replied back to him patting his hand "Wants to talk,that's all"**

**The Doctor put his hand on John's **

**"John focus on my voice...can you hear me? Remember my voice from before? I want you to still tell me the truth"**

**Dr Barclay was saying to him.**

**John nodded,though seemed confused by it all, then said,tearfully.**

**"I want to go home...where's Mummy?**

**Want Auntie? PLEASE" he pleaded to them both.**

**Rory's heart broke then...holding John's hand in his said,**

**"You'll see them soon"**

**Well it was true,his Mum,his Auntie,was the same person now.**

**"Look if you will be a good boy,talk to the Doctor,I will take you home and you can play on the swings,with Rory and Amy,okay?"**

**"Promise"**

**"I promise"**

**"Kay...**

**Rory would promise the moon at the moment if only they could sort this.**

**John sat still then,he was holding Rory's hand in a vice like grip.**

**"John," Doctor Barclay tried again..."Are you going to listen to me now?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"Good boy,now I want you to lie back and close your eyes,don't worry... Rory's Daddy will stay with you"**

**He noticed John's grip tighten on Rory's hand even more,but he did as he was told.**

**"Good boy" Rory said looking over at the Doctor.**

**" Now,John,I want you to sleep for a while" Dr Barclay said to him. " I will come and talk to you soon" he touched him on the forehead.**

**John's breathing evened out,and his grip loosened on Rory's fingers...**

**"Bloody hell" he said rubbing his fingers, "I never knew he could grip so hard!"**

**"Don't forget,he's a 34 year old man,who thinks he's three years old at the 'moment.**

**He's very frightened as well" The Doctor said."Are you alright Rory?"**

**"...Apart from the broken fingers you mean? The more we get into this,the harder it gets,but I will stick with it to the end...I won't abandoned him now" Rory said.**

**"What do you think happened before?" He continued.**

**Dr Barclay walked over to his desk,picking up what looked like a file...Rory noticed it had 'John Smith' written on it.**

**" ...I'm not to sure,it sounded maybe his,Dad was up to something,read him a story? Playing with him? John seemed happy...at first"**

**"Yes," Rory said,**

**" Then it all changed,did he try something? Because John got really frightened,as though he was desperately trying to stop him doing something"**

**"Yes," The,Doctor sat down at his,desk,putting his chin on his joined fingers as he mused over it all.**

**"He seemed,pleased because he was going to have a game of hide and seek,be read to...until...**

**...perhaps he was doing this,to get John on the bed,to try ...he might have been drunk as said he smelt funny,could it have been alcohol? Did he drink?"**

**"Doctor,I didn't know the man,only some of what happened with John at the park which you know,I'd forgotten about until today"**

**Rory replied.**

**"I'd even forgot about 'Twinkle,Twinkle,little star'**

**Rory rubbed his,face,God he was tired.**

**"Why,that?"**

**"You say,your wife use to sing it to him,after they died? Maybe his,Mum did? It seems to be some sort of defence mechanism, shut his mind off from what's happening to him."**

**"So,what next?" Rory asked, "We still don't know if he did anything to John"**

**"I could try...it another way" the Doctor said to him.**

**"Get John to go back...but as an onlooker,he would be there,but not...I would need you there for that Rory,to hold his hand,as your Dad"**

**"I'm willing to do that,but how would it work?" Rory said.**

**" We know some of what happened to John,so I would send him back to that,room with his Dad.**

**This time he won't be on his,own though. You will there with him.**

**Inteact with you."**

**The Doctor said,**

**"...But,I can only imagine what's happening,play along,as my Dad?" Rory said back to him.**

**"Yes...would you be willing to go through with it Rory?" Dr Barclay,continued.**

**"Play act...?"**

**"Well" **

**Rory said getting up and stretching...**

**" I always,wanted to go on the stage,didn't think it would be like this,someroad"**

**"Good man!" said the Doctor as he slapped Rory on the back as he got up.**

**"I will just get us a coffee and a sandwich,then we'll try it okay?"**

**"Fine," Rory winched at that.**

**Looking at his watch...it was nearly,1am.**

**They had been here six hours now, looking over at John,he was peaceful in his sleep...**

**Now they had come this far,he wanted this to work for him,give him the life he wanted,send the nightmares away for him...permanently.**

**"John,mate...I hope and pray this works..."**

**A/N**

**Cliffhanger!**

**So what will happen in the next chapter? **

**What will they find out?**

**Did,Johns 'Dad' do anything to him?**

**At home,Clara and Amy are wondering what **

**As happened to their boys.**

**Please read and review.**

**Chapter 59 soon.**


	59. Chapter 59

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 59**

**Thursday 1am**

**Clara woke suddenly,turning over,she put her hand to the other side of the bed.**

**"John?..."**

**When she went to sleep at nine,four hours ago,he hadn't returned from seeing the Doctor in London with Rory. Getting out of bed,she made her way to the bathroom,used the loo,and washed her hands.**

**Coming out again,Mum was stood near the bedroom doorway.**

**"Clara,are you okay?"**

**..."Mum,what are you still doing here?" She said surprised. "Where's John, is he in the kitchen? Wouldn't mind a cup of tea"**

**"He's, not back ****sweetheart,he must be spending the night at Rory and Amy's. He rang earlier,he said they wouldn't make the last train"**

**"Oh,what time was that?"Clara asked.**

**"Now come on" Mum said to her.**

**"You know your not supposed to be on your feet,back to bed and I will tell you what Rory said"**

**Putting her arm round,Clara, Mum eased her towards the bedroom and sat her down on the bed,taking off her slippers,**

**"Lay down,Clara"**

**"But, I feel fine...Mum is John okay?"**

**"Rory said he was,it was just too late for them to catch the last train,he will be back later today"**

**"Perhaps,I should ring Rory,see if everything is okay" Clara said then.**

**"Clara,you can't do that,"**

**"Oh,why not?" **

**"Because it's after one in the morning,they will all be asleep..." Mum replied.**

**"Why,didn't John ring me,tell me himself then" **

**Clara was getting tearful,now.**

**'Please,Clara...not tonight...' Mum thought,hoping she wasn't going to have hysterics again,while John was away.**

**"I don't think he did it intentional,sweetheart,it must have been very late when they did leave the hospital.**

**It was after nine when Rory rang me,and they were still there then,they wouldn't want to wake you" She said.**

**Covering Clara up.**

**"If John hasn't rung by the time your Dad comes to take Daisy to school, I-we will ring them,okay?" **

**Kissing her on the head,Mum went over to the bedroom door,turning back to Clara.**

**"Now,I will go and make you that tea...**

**...You are not to get out of that bed,unless it's for the bathroom,you promised John,right?"**

**"Kay..." Clara was resigned to her fate,as she wasn't going to get her own way anytime tonight,if there was anything wrong,Rory would have rung to tell her right?...**

**Amy and Rory's the same time.**

**Even though Rory had told her to go to bed,Amy didn't,she was so worried about John.**

**By midnight,she really thought they would be back,but there was still no sign.**

**She didn't blame Rory for not wanting to tell Clara anything,or even telling Auntie a half truth.**

**What he had told her when he rang at nine,whatever was happening to John was still on going...**

**Sat in the lounge,she had a magazine open on her knee.,but not really reading it. Suddenly the door opened.**

**"About time..." she started to say,then realised it wasn't them,but ...Tom?**

**"Sweetheart,what's,the matter..."Amy started up from the armchair,the magazine falling to the floor...Tom was crying his eyes out.**

**"A-auntie Amy-y had a bad d-dream,where's U-uncle,R-ory?"he rubbed his eyes.**

**Going over,he was really sobbing. Amy put her arms round him for a cuddle.**

**'God****, ****I ****wish ****I ****knew'****, she thought, **

**Saying to him,has she kissed him on the head.**

**"He's not back yet Tom,love. I don't think he will be long now"**

**In the five,days that Tom had been staying with them,this was the first real change in his routine.**

**She could hardly blame,Rory for being absent,it was just one of those things that would have to be dealt with.**

**..."Tell you what,how about I make some hot chocolate and you can take it back to bed with you?"**

**"Don't want to...want to stay here with you..." **

**Tom threw his arms round Amy's waist then.**

**"You will go away and leave me as well Auntie Amy!"**

**Amy bit her lip and stroked Tom's head...**

**"Sweetheart,I'm not going anywhere,look Uncle Rory will be back soon.**

**He's's gone somewhere with Uncle John,their just delayed that's all"**

**She kissed him again then...**

**"Tell you what,how about we make that hot chocolate,and you can come to bed with me keep me company till he gets back? I'm a little lonely on my own"**

**"Kay..."**

**Amy,led him to the kitchen,it was now nearly 2am,and she needed to get Tom to bed,as,he had to be up for school at seven.**

**They both were in bed by quarter past two,and after he had drunk the chocolate,Tom was soon asleep,on Rory's side of the bed.**

**Amy lay on her side, with her arms round him. Wondering.**

**"Oh stupid face...! When are you coming home?"**

**Meanwhile Dr Barclays office 1.30 am**

**John was still asleep on the sofa.**

**Rory and the Doctor were just finishing sandwiches,and coffee.**

**"Well, shall we do this?"Dr Barclay said."You are still sure about it Rory?"**

**" I will do it, I mean, how hard can it be? I've been telling him I'm my Dad for the last month when he's been having the nightmares"**

**"Don't forget it's,as you said earlier,you have to play act with him" **

**The Doctor continued.**

**They both got up went and sat on the chairs,near the sofa where John was.**

**"Now,before I send him back to that room to his Dad...I want to go to the park,to that day when he was happy,do you remember it?"**

**Rory nodded at him.**

**"I remember being there,with Amy..." **

**Rory screwed his face up in concentration..."The frightened look on John's face as '****he' **** dragged him away"**

**"Well,I want to send him back to just before that" Dr Barclay said,**

**"It's up to you whether you interact with him as your Dad...or as yourself...we shall have to ****wing**** it...Okay? Are you ready,Rory?"**

**"Yes"**

**The Doctor touched,John on the forehead.**

**"John,come on now,are you going to wake up for me?"**

**"Hmm! " John yawned...What?"**

**"John focus on my voice...are you listening to me?"**

**"Yes"**

**"John,you are still three years old.**

**Would you like to go play in the park with Rory and Amy?"**

**The Doctor asked him.**

**"N-ot allowed,"John said in a frightened voice "can't...shall get a spanking"**

**"No you won't...Mummy said you can,"**

**the Doctor carried on.**

**"Come on hold my hand,I'll take you out to see Rory"**

**John hesitated,then placed his hand in Dr Barclay's.**

**"Good boy,John look there's Rory waiting for you by the swings"**

**Looking over at Rory,he nodded his head at John, as though to say,the next part is up to you.**

**Taking a breath,Rory said,**

**"Hello,John,do you want to play?"**

**Holding a hand out to him.**

**John seemed as though he was considering it, then took his hand out of the Doctors and put it in Rory's.**

**His eyes were open,but he wasn't seeing the room,with three grown men in it,but a park,with swings,roundabouts,slides and two little children,playing. He smiled.**

**"Kay...A-Amy?"**

**"I expect,she's at home having her tea,"Rory said slowly, "you'll see her soon."**

**Johns face crumpled,he started to shake,**

**'Oh God...Oh God...! ' Rory thought,**

**'that was,a quick,turn about... ' **

**"John what is it...what's,the matter?"**

**John was trying to get off the sofa,to hide behind Rory,as he started to shake even more.**

**"It's okay,John,its okay!" **

**He said holding on to him.**

**"I've got you,no one is,going to hurt you,not while I'm here"**

**Rory was,having a real struggle with him,as John was starting to panic.**

**"Please,please, ,don't let him see me,he,will spank me,not been naughty,I've not,been a,good boy.I have," **

**he was pleading with Rory."He will,he will!"**

**"John calm down, he can't see you,won't hurt you,I won't let him. Look at me John..LOOK!"**

**Rory was desperately trying to calm him.,Palmed his hand on John's face.**

**"John,I want to tell you something a secret,in a little while,you are going home,yes?"**

**John nodded at him.**

**With a look at Dr Barclay,then back to John..**

**"When you go to bed later,do you want my Daddy to stay with you,protect you?"**

**Another nod...**

**"...Well all you have to do,if you are frightened,is close your eyes say'I want Rory's Daddy to come,and he will come,okay?"**

**"Yes,kay..." John said.**

**Rory thought he seemed as though he was calming down,then all of a,sudden,John went ridged then started to scream.**

**"NO,NO.I'M SORRY,I'M SORRY,DON'T SPANK ME! PLEASE PLEASE." **

**He was begging like he was when he'd had the nightmares before.**

**Rory could hardly hold on to him.**

**His heart was breaking,for having to put his best friend through this.**

**Dr Barclay,grabbed hold of him as well,they both tried to ease him back on to the sofa.**

**"Christ!.John!"**

**"John! Listen to me!" **

**The Doctor was trying to put his hand on his face and stop him falling,at the same time.**

**"JOHN! You will sleep now,close your eyes, no-one is,going to hurt you. That's a good boy"**

**He went limp in their arms, they eased him back onto the sofa.**

**Rory,heaved a sigh,of relief.**

**"Bloody Hell,that was close."**

**"I know," Dr Barclay replied. He's seems to be trying to cope,to listen,to you?**

**Maybe your Dad next time though?"**

**"Yes,I think so as well,that's why I told him my Dad will come if he asks" **

**Rory said."Well do we go on with this now?"**

**"Five minutes,get our breaths back?" the Doctor said to him.**

**"...Will this next part work,do you think? "**

**Rory then said to him,**

**"Not that I don't want to go through with it..."**

**Looking at John."He really was terrified of him..."**

**"This could be the only way to lay this ghost to rest,Rory" he said leaning over and patting his hand.**

**"Perhaps,if his Dad does come into John's room,and ****'tries'**** something,another grown-up might stop him? Two am, shall we try this..?"**

**Rory squared his shoulders...They both turned back to John...**

**"John,can you hear me?"Dr Barclay said.**

**There was no answer at first...then...**

**"Yes..."**

**Looking at Rory,he said then,**

**"John,you are still three years,old,it's,bedtime now. you're in bed.**

**Tell me what are you doing?"**

**"Got a new picture,book,wanted to show,Rory and Amy.**

**Daddy wouldn't let me"**

**John said sounding upset.**

**"Never mind" the Doctor was saying to him.**

**"Maybe in the morning,hmm?" **

**He paused then,**

**" Are going to sleep now John?"**

**"Yes," he replied.**

**All of a sudden a look of fear came over his face.**

**"D-daddy!"**

**Then shot off the sofa before Rory and the Doctor could stop him,curling up in the corner of the room.**

**Hands over his face.**

**"John!" Rory followed him down onto the floor.**

**The Doctor crouched next to them both.**

**"What are you doing down here?" He touched his face. "John talk to me!**

**"No-No,leave me alone,don't please!"**

**He was trying to push,Dr Barclay away from him.**

**"John,who is it,who's hurting you? Is it Daddy?"**

**He was trying the question,looking over at Rory.**

**"Go,way...go way...don't!"**

**John was starting to cry...then...to Rory.**

**"H-elp m-e please!" **

**Rory touched his shoulder.**

**"John, come on its Rory's Daddy.**

**Talk to me,tell me what happened,did he do anything to you?"**

**With a look to Dr Barclay..**

**He took John's face in his hands...**

**"Please tell me what he did to you?"**

**He pulled John to him,where he sobbed as Rory held him.**

**"It's alright,hush now" arms round John.**

** "You can tell me,did Daddy touch you anywhere he shouldn't have?"**

**John was still sobbing,as his,hand moved from where it was round Rory's back,down to between his legs.**

**"T-ried...to ...I... wouldn't let him,s-smacked me..says...says...my fault..mmade him. My fault?" He asked Rory.**

**"NO IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!"**

**John flinched away as Rory shouted.**

**"I'm sorry,I'm sorry."'He kissed John on the head, held on to him.**

**" It wasn't your fault John, he had no right to do anything like that to you,touch you,like that. Even to smack,punch,kick you.**

**A grown-up, should not do things like,that! It's bullying!"**

**Looked over John's head at the Doctor for some help,he was sat nearly on top of Rory. He didn't know how he was going to get them up off the floor!**

**"John are you going to let me help Rory's Daddy put you back to bed now?"**

**When John held on to Rory,looking frightened still.**

**He said to him,**

**"You remember,me a friend of Mummy's? We will look after you.I won't hurt you"**

**"...D-daddy..." John looked round, fearful.**

**" Daddy,he's gone,never coming back!" Rory said**

**"Do you want to go back to bed,now?"**

**"Kay" John said,letting them both help him up, lead him to the sofa,he lay down.**

**" Good boy..."**

**Rory was saying to him,as John was still holding on to his,hand.**

**Doctor Barclay,said then.**

**"John,close your eyes now,sleep,good boy..."**

**His eyes closed,and his grip loosed on Rory's hand.**

**"Phew..! That was.. "Rory said..." the truth...right?"**

**"Oh yes...,but I think it might have gone further,if he hadn't been killed...and John has ****always**** and will ****know**** that" **

**the Doctor said.**

**"The trauma,was caused mainly by guilt...he made John think it was ****his fault.**** And that was a very big thing for,a little boy to carry round with him...hence everything up to his,wife's death that went wrong for him was his fault as well...Hopefully,we've started to lay that fear away today." He continued.**

**"So...now what,"said Rory...looking at his watch.**

**"3am,I should get him home"**

**"Yes,I think we have gone as far as we can for now. There might more to come. He will still need to talk to me..." Dr Barclay said.**

**"Will you need to hypnotise him again?"**

** "Maybe...I will bring him back now.**

**...I don't think you want to take a three year old home do you? I could get the teenage John if you like?" he said jokingly.**

**"Er,the one I came in with will do..." Rory said.**

**"Thank you for what you have done Doctor,I'm sorry it's taken,eight hours..."**

**"Rory,it's,fine... I told you...now,best bring him back"**

**Putting his hand on John's face...**

**"John are you listening to me?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"John, when I count to 5, snap my fingers,you will come back to being the 34 year old,you were.**

**You will remember what happened,what was talked about today.**

**The demons that plagued you will have gone away...**

**...1,2,3,4 and 5."Dr Barclay clicked his fingers in John's face. He blinked at them both.**

**"Hello,John back with us again"he said.**

**John sat up...**

**"...Thought you were going to...? " he started to say ...**

**"Rory?" He paused as he looked over at him.**

**"...Yes,mate..." he said back to him.**

**"You look like shit..."**

**"Oh thanks,for that John,"**

**He said looking over at the Doctor...**

**"Can I have the three year old instead?"**

**Dr Barclay smiled at them both.**

**Rory had caught a look at himself in the bookcase glass at the side of the room. He had dark circles,under his eyes,and needed a shave, John didn't look much better, though he wouldn't say so to him.**

**Dr Barclay said then,**

**"I think a coffee is in order before you leave,I think you may need one John?"**

**He was drinking a glass of water Rory had given him.**

**"I'm desperate for the loo"**

** he got off the sofa,wobbling slightly...Rory held onto him...**

**"I'm fine..."**

**He then looked at his watch. "It's 3.15? AM?.What?"**

** Looking at Rory.**

**"Go to the bathroom,John and then some of what happened over the last hours may start to come back" **

**The Doctor said.**

**"Okay."**

**"Do you want me to come with you,John?" Rory asked.**

**"No,I'm fine, don't worry,I won't disappear this time" he smiled. "I feel...different,calmer" has he walked out the door.**

**Rory and Dr Barclay followed him out to the outer office,where the later started to make the coffee.**

**"Are you sure he will remember?" Rory asked.**

**"It should come back,slowly,but as I said he will need to talk now,and he should carry on with the anti depressants,for the time being"**

**John came back then...**

**"Oh good...coffee"**

**He said as Rory put the cup in his hand. **

**"John,I will need to see you again,Same time next week,with Rory if you would like to...?"**

**The Doctor said looking at them both.**

**"Yes"**

**John said giving Rory a look he couldn't quite fathom out...**

**"Always with,Rory...Well time to go?" **

**He got up and shook the Doctors hand...**

**"Thank,you...I will see you same time next week"**

**"Of course,bye Rory...Sleep well" he said to him.**

**"Oh I think I will,you too...see you soon and thanks" **

**Has he followed John out to the car park.**

**John was quiet until they were back in the car,as Rory went to start it,**

**John,put his hand on his arm.**

**"What John?"**

**"Thank you...for everything... I remember all of it."**

**"All" Rory said to him...**

**"Yes..." John said, "it's though a block as been removed from my mind. Oh I know you and Amy were always there in my childhood and up to meeting Clara,getting Mum back...**

**...I don't think I would have survived,if it hadn't been for you both,especially the part of my Dad..."**

**Rory looked at him,then.**

**"Oh,yes I can talk about him,what he did to me and Mum was wrong, and maybe one day I will tell Daisy and the twins,not until they are a lot older..but I can't go through my life with hate in my heart for him...he was sick,I realise that now"**

**Rory had been quiet while John was,talking...then...**

**"John,you do know how jealous I was of you the first time, when I met you?"**

**"...Yes...I know "John,replied..." Rory...we were three years old.I think it would have still played out the same way,and we would have become good friends,don't worry about it...Just...thank you...thank you for being there..."**

**He leant over to hug him...**

**"Rory..." **

**"What?"**

**"How am I going to get home? It's four in the morning...I've missed my train..."**

**Rory replied. "Your coming home with me,it's all arranged" as he pulled out of the car park.**

**"Besides...I think you need some sleep,a shower and a shave before you see Clara?"**

**"Oh my God,Clara"**

**John started up from the passenger seat,**

**"She must be tearing her hair out..."**

**"Don't worry she's fine,John,I rang Auntie,she was going to stay the night,and I think her Dad was going to do the school run with Daisy" he said.**

**..." I must ring her...but later " John said he was quiet then,**

**"Rory...you will talk to Amy,now won't you?"**

**"John,I will,I'm not trying to get out of it...we have sort of half mentioned that both of us,need to talk..."**

**"And I will have to talk to Clara,about Will" he looked at Rory,**

**"I need to prepare her,in case,right?" **

**By this time,they were home,Rory pulled on to the,drive and turned the engine off.**

**" I think you should,John,like I said to you earlier,we will sort that out if,we have too,okay?"**

**"What,was I thinking of earlier,doing a ****bunk**** with Clara and Daisy,how stupid was that?" John laughed.**

**"I think it was just the shock,but you have realised it" Rory said. "Shall we go in?" Glancing at the darkened house.**

**They both got out of the car,Rory locked it and then opened the front door.**

**"Shush!" he,whispered,"I told Amy to go to bed" **

**Going towards the kitchen.**

**"Coffee then,bed " he continued.**

**"...Rory,any chance of some toast...or a sandwich? I don't think I've eaten anything since lunch with Mum at the hotel"**

**Now they were in the kitchen,**

**"Oh bloody hell,John I am ****so ****sorry****... I never thought,you have been asleep for most of the time we were with,Dr Barclay...!"**

**The door opened,then and Amy appeared yawning and rubbing her eyes...**

**"...Oh your back"**

**She hurried over to Rory and kissed him...**

**"You look like death warmed up,feel like it as well,"**

**...touching the stubble on his face...**

**"You don't look much better,Raggedy Man"**

**She hugged him and then held him at arms length looking at him.**

**"Are you okay?"**

**John looked over at Rory as though asking for permission to hug Amy,he nodded.**

**"I'm,fine...Pond,never better...thanks to Rory,Dr Barclay,and you of course...Thank you for everything,for the past...and for now"**

**He hugged her to him,and Amy looked puzzled at Rory over his shoulder...**

**'Explain later' he mouthed.**

**John's stomach gave a guggle then,and Rory laughed...**

**"I think you had better give him something to eat...I've been starving him"**

**"Bacon sandwiches,for both,then bed,okay" she said.**

**"Oh,yes please!" John said.**

**"With brown sauce..."**

**"...Think I can run to that,"**

**Amy said pulling away from John and putting the grill on,Rory had made the coffee which he put in front of John on the table as he sat down.**

**" How's Tom,is he okay,I'm sorry I never got chance to phone" he said.**

**"He's fine,"**

**Amy said back to him,**

**"You are going to have to find another bed for tonight"**

**When Rory looked puzzled, continued.**

**"He's in ours,"**

**She explained about the bad dream he had earlier and how upset he'd been because Rory hadn't been there.**

**"Oh heck!" **

**He said pulling his,hand through his fringe,as he did...**

**"Is he okay? I should have been here..."**

**Amy opened her mouth to say something,but "John got there first.**

**"Rory,mate...kids have bad dreams,even if you had been here,or not he would have still had it"**

**"Really..." **

**He said,thinking that John must be getting better as for once he wasn't saying it was his fault for taking him away with his,problems.**

**"...Yes,really..." Now let's eat this before it gets cold, and I must have some sleep before I talk to Clara"**

**John started to eat the pile of Sandwiches Amy put in front of him.**

**I suppose I could have a couple of hours on the sofa in the office,before I go into work.."**

**"What...Rory...your not going to work today!" Amy said...**

**"Rory,mate! be reasonable" **

**even John thought that was too much.**

**"But I promised! I forgot to tell you about Simon,didn't I? What with all that's,happened"**

**He began to tell them about meeting him at John's flat yesterday and how he promised to talk to him about a placement at Master's.**

**"Anyway it's not till two this afternoon,so I can see him and then come home and spend some time with Tom,"**

**"All right,if you go to bed now" Amy said"I will call you in plenty of time to get ready it's,only just gone five..."**

**"How can I Tom's in our bed,unless you want him to start jumping up and down on me in two hours!" Rory stated grumpy.**

**"Get in Tom's bed,stupid face..."**

**"Oh yeah...never thought of that" he continued.**

**John was,sat with his arms,folded watching the banter between his two friends in amusement.**

**God he loved this...**

**"John... your bed is made up,so when ever you want to go up"**

**Amy looked at him wondering what he was smiling about...**

**"What,yeah think I will..." he yawned,then getting up hugged them both.**

**"Thanks again...tenfold mate,"he said to Rory as he headed upstairs.**

**As he left,Amy said,**

**"You can tell me later how it went with the Doctor...he seems different,better?"**

**"Oh he is...I think we are on the right path now,there are a few things to talk,out...the problem of Will for one,but he is going to speak to Clara,later about that"**

**You can tell me all when I get back from taking Tom to school,now bed...stupid face..."**

**She kissed him.**

**"I love you"**

**"I love you too"**

**Rory headed upstairs to Tom's room.**

**By half past five the house was quiet again...least until Tom stired at seven.**

**A/N**

**Good place to end that chapter.**

**Next time.**

**Rory tells Amy what happened **

**to John.**

**Speaks,to Simon.**

**John spends time with**

**Rory and Tom.**

**Chapter 60 soon.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks.**


	60. Chapter 60

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 60**

**Thursday Morning 7.30am**

**Amy had only been up half an hour with Tom,she had given him his breakfast. She was about to take him upstairs to get dressed, when the phone rang,sitting down on the sofa to answered it.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Amy...it's Clara,I'm sorry to ring you so early,but..."**

**"Your worried,about the boys...?" Amy finished.**

**"They did come home there then,last night?" Clara sounded so tearful.**

**"Clara,sweetie,they are both okay still asleep,but okay"**

**Well they were when she looked in on both of them just before getting Tom up.**

**"Just a minute Clara,Tom, lovey"**

**she said."Your clothes for school are on the chair in our room,use our bathroom this morning so you don't disturb Uncle Rory and go quietly past Uncle John's room,okay?"**

**"Yes, Auntie Amy", he said heading upstairs.**

**"...Clara,sorry about that"**

** Putting the phone back to her ear. "Tom had a bad dream,last night,so ended up in bed with me. Rory is in his bed at the moment."**

**" I see,"Clara said "Your busy sorting Tom out, I shouldn't have rung...I could ring ,you back later...?**

**"Clara,it's fine,I don't have to take Tom until half past eight,so I've got time for a quick chat,the boys didn't get home until half past four, this morning that's why they are still asleep"**

**"It was that late?!" Clara exclaimed..."From seven last night,do you know what happened?"**

**"Not all of it,only John and Rory can tell you that.I do know that,there was a lot of talking to Dr Barclay. Clara, John does,seem better even if a little tired at the moment." she said to her.**

**"I can wake him if you really want to talk to him?"**

**"No...No don't do that! " As long as he's...their both fine. Will you tell him I ****love**** him and too ring me when he can?"**

**"Course I will,Clara,don't worry,he will be back with you later today,and I promise you there is a change in him!" Amy said.**

**"Oh...?"**

**"Yes,I can't describe,it,but you will notice the difference..."**

**She looked over at Tom coming back downstairs.**

**"...Clara,I will have to go,need to get Tom to school...I will ring you later, both of us should have something to discuss then,right? You will try not to worry,promise me?"**

**"Amy,I will be fine ...I miss him,but as long as I know where he is.I will speak to you later,love you,bye for now..."**

**"Bye,Clara" Amy hung up turning round to Tom.**

**"Now,Mister...have you everything for school?"**

**He nodded.**

**"Auntie Amy, are Uncle Rory and Uncle John alright?"**

**"Oh yes,sweetheart,it's just was very late when they got back from their ****trip****...so by the time they had something to eat,they didn't get to bed until just before you got up" She said to him.**

**"He will be up when I get back from school? Uncle John as well?"**

**"He should be,but Uncle John might have to get back to Auntie Clara,it depends what train he's getting,we shall have to go, or we will be late..." **

**She walked him towards,the door.**

**"Anyway,it's,only just over a week until they are both coming for a visit,and Daisy will be with them...that will be good won't it?"**

**As the door shut behind them.**

**When Amy got back just after ten,via the supermarket,John was sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee.**

**He was showered,shaved and dressed.**

**"Hello" she smiled at him."Didn't think you would be up yet"**

**Putting down the four carrier bags she had brought in, and then going back out to the car for another four!**

**"I think,I've had enough sleep this last twenty four hours," **

**he replied taking the bags from her.**

**"Blimey,Pond are you expecting a siege"**

**"We seemed to have run out a lot of things...you know how Tom can eat"**

**She started to put things away in the cupboards,saying over her shoulder.**

**"Is Rory still asleep?**

**"He was flat on his stomach,with his feet sticking out of the end of the bed when I looked in" John said with devilment in his eyes.**

**"I'll give him until eleven,then I'll have to call him if he wants to go Into the office to see this Simon...Don't you wind him up when he comes down, Raggedy man..."**

**"Now would I do that,Pond" John said with his hand over his heart...**

**"Yes you would"**

**Amy was trying to keep her face straight knowing how they liked to banter with each other.**

**"It's not Rory's fault he's tall,and so are,you,next time,Tom has a bad dream,I'll make you sleep in his bed!**

**Both John and Rory were nearly six foot tall.**

**John had followed Amy into the lounge,where she was going to tell him about Clara ringing, when there was a almighty bang from upstairs.**

**"I think that was from the attic,"Amy said.**

**They both rushed up the two flights of stairs.**

**Has they got to the door of Tom's bedroom,it opened and Rory stood in the doorway in his boxers and t shirt,rubbing his shoulder.**

**"I turned over and fell out of that ****bloody ****bed****... I forgot ...thought I was in ours..."**

**"Are you alright? You didn't bang your head?" Amy was putting her arms round him.**

**"No,I'm okay...Why are,you shaved,dressed and looking so cheerful?" He said grumpy looking over at John,who was trying to keep a,straight face.**

**"How long have you been up?"**

**"Now,now,Rory,only half an hour,Pond left me a spare,shaving kit,so I had,a,shower and everything,soon as,I got out of bed...you should try it...might cool your temper"**

**"Oi,I'm not bad tempered...well,just a bit "has Amy put her hand on his arm.**

**"John,Clara phoned earlier,while you were still asleep"**

**"What is she alright?!"he looked at her in panic.**

**"Stop worrying she's fine... just missing you that's all,why don't you go down to the office while Rory has his,shower and ring her... talk to her."**

**"Okay" **

**He turned to go downstairs,then came back again.**

**"I'm not worried about myself,until Clara has the babies,I will always worry about her...I miss her too..."**

**Amy was stood with her arms,round Rory,then she moved over to John,pushing him towards,the stairs,**

**" Go...talk to her"**

**John,smiled as he hurried back down,thinking about Clara...**

**"See he is lots better,"Rory said "I would be more worried if he didn't have the odd ****'niggle'**** Amy,especially about Clara because that is human nature,nothing to do with his Dad"**

**Amy turned back round to Rory then at the mention of John's Dad.**

**"Did he ...do anything to John?" **

**Rory looked to the top of the attic stairs,he didn't think John would come back,****but**** just in case.**

**"Let's go down to our room and I will tell you what happened,besides I need a shower and definitely a shave" **

**He stroked at the stubble on his chin.**

**Rory followed Amy down into their room.**

**They closed the door.**

**"Well?"...Amy said.**

**"I don't think John will mind me telling you,but I didn't want to talk to you on the landing" Rory paused then said...**

**"He didn't do anything to John,but he ****tried****...**

**"Oh,my God,"Amy said. "How?"**

**"Dr Barclay seems to think that it only stopped because he was killed.**

**If he hadn't it,may have gone on.**

**He was punishing John for no reason at all,by spanking him,even kicking and punching,the touching could have been the next step...,then who knows"**

**Rory shuddered and sat down on the bed,**

**"Amy...he was absolutely terrified of him,the only time he was happy was when he played with us and I was bloody ****'jealous**** '..."**

**Amy came over and took his face in her hands.**

**"Stop it,Rory...just stop it,I told you that I didn't blame you for that,and I don't think John would either"**

**"He says he doesn't" Rory continued"Dr Barclay had to really try to get him to talk,there seemed to be a block there,until he pushed"**

**"So he did hynotise John then?" Amy asked.**

**"Oh yes,it was the only way to get him to talk" Rory laughed,"I even had to pretend to be my Dad again,interact with him as a,three year old..."**

**"Oh..."Amy said.**

**"That ****bastard****,even use to hit his wife has well. John witnessed all that...Christ! No wonder he blocked it all out."**

**Rory said.**

**" I don't think even Auntie knew what sort of head case she had left her son with, until all this came out a week ago"**

**" So what happens now?" Amy asked.**

**"The block seems to have gone, he still needs to talk about it to Dr Barclay,so he wants to see both of us,same time next week" Rory continued.**

**"That's,all right isn't it? I mean it shouldn't be as long this time,now things,are out in the open..."**

**Looking at her said.**

**"Amy,you don't think he wants to see me as well,in case he thinks ****I've**** got problems do you?"**

**"I shouldn't think so,Rory,it's just to make sure John talks,which is what you're doing,it's easier if you are there...right? "**

**She kissed him...**

**"Go and have your shower, and if Raggedy Man has finished talking to Clara,then I will make you something to eat before you go and see this,Simon."**

**She walked towards,the door.**

**"Amy,I told Tom we would,go for a drive and a picnic on Sunday,is that okay" he asked.**

**Yes, he'd like that. It's a very good idea,we can spend sometime as a family,before John and Clara come the following weekend go and have your shower,it's gone eleven..."**

**She went to go downstairs,and Rory headed for the bathroom.**

**Meanwhile**

**John sat on the sofa in Rory's office.**

**It was now gone eleven. Daisy would be at school although his Mum would be somewhere about,Clara should be by herself,especially if she was in bed,resting as she was supposed to be. He rang Clara's mobile number.**

**"Hello,John!?" It was picked up on the first ring...**

**"Sweetheart,how,are,you?"**

**"...I'm "...she started to say and then,burst into floods of tears...**

**"Clara...what ...?" he said " Please don't cry...I'm okay... Clara,please..."**

**'Oh ****heck'**** he thought 'hope I can calm her down'**

**"Clara try to stop crying for me,I can't talk to you if you don't"**

**There was a hiccup...a sniffle...then,**

**"Ssorry...it's j-just,I miss y-you"**

**John smiled.**

**"I know...I do you too,I'm sorry that I didn't get back last night,we didn't leave Dr Barclay until four this morning...Clara are you still there?"**

**"...Yes, trying to calm down...I didn't mean to get hysterical on you again.I'm sorry...I knew that you were safe,that you were somewhere with Rory"**

**"Did Mum not tell you,?" he asked "That Rory phoned..."**

**"I woke up at one am and you were not,there.**

**Mum said Rory rang at nine last night. I thought you had left then,but four in the morning,John?" Clara seemed puzzled.**

**John,closed his eyes and then opened them again...**

**"Oh Clara,Clara,I have got so much to tell you,about what as happened to me"**

**He paused then...**

**"I really need to talk to you,and Mum,about what,****'my ****Dad'**** did' but I need to tell it to you both face to face"**

**"You remember?"**

**"Oh,yes...with the help of Dr Barclay and his hypnosis" John replied."I can't really tell you on the phone,will you ask Mum if she could stay late,tonight? "**

**Clara said..."I will do that,John...what time will you be home?"**

**"There is a train at five,I will get that,should be home about six,I can't wait to see you are,doing as your told and resting?"**

**"Oh John, I promised didn't I ? Besides Dr Jones is coming tomorrow and I hope by next weekend I can get up so we can come back to Rory and Amy's.I'm really looking forward to going shopping with Amy and Daisy,choosing dresses..."**

**Clara sounded so excited,that John hoped that everything would turn out okay for her,for both of them...**

**"How's Daisy and the babies?"**

**"They are fine,Daisy is missing you,I will tell her you will be home when she gets in from school.**

**The babies are missing you too..."she said.**

**"Oh I think,that's maybe because,their ****Mummy**** is,perhaps?" John said smiling to himself.**

**"Yes,she is a lot..."Clara said tearful..."please come home to us soon,John,we miss you"**

**"So do I, please,get some rest,sweetheart,and I will see you later this,evening,bye for now...love you"**

**"Kay...love you too,bye John,"Clara said hanging up.**

**John sat back on the sofa...musing about things to himself,then there was,a tap on the door.**

**Rory put his head round it..he was looking better.**

**He was dressed in brown slacks and an open necked shirt.**

**"Sorry,mate"...John said "Do you need your office back?"**

**"Not really...I wondered where you had got to,not checking up on you or anything,Amy wondered if you wanted anything to eat?"**

**Rory said. "Is Clara okay?"**

**"Are we playing Twenty questions,again,Rory?" But he was grinning at him,so he knew John was pulling his leg.**

**"Clara's alright...a little upset,but she calmed down once I told her I would be home by six" John replied.**

**"...So," Rory said "I've got to put up with your ugly mug for a while longer then.?" Though secretly he was quite pleased.**

**"Oi...!" John said back to him..."I can go off a person you know?"**

**"Tell you what John,while you don't have to catch your train until five,why don't you come to Masters,with me to see Simon?"**

**"Seriously,Rory,you want me to come with you to give careers advice to an eighteen year old?" **

**He got up and walked across to the window,turning back said.**

**"I'm hardly the ideal candidate,I resigned,plus the problems,I have..."**

**"John,for all you told,Dr Barclay you were a,very good solicitor.**

**You like to help as well if it hadn't been for the circumstances,do you think you would have resigned? Did you like the job or was it because of Auntie that you went in to it?" Rory asked.**

**John thought,he had liked the idea of being a solicitor when he was, younger.**

**Auntie did put the idea in his,and Rory's heads when it was time for a choice of profession and they had been taking the career path...**

**Maybe as Rory said,he would still be practicing if what had happened with Sue and Jack, ****hadn't?**

**"You could always,go back to It" **

**Rory continued to say to him.**

**"Once the hotel is up and running...there is always the odd private work,you could invest the money for the twins and Daisy's futures" trying not to discount the idea from John's mind.**

**"Hmm,..."maybe..." John said, as usual,Rory had a good idea.**

**" I will think about it,but if you want me to come with you to see,Simon is it?"**

**Rory nodded.**

**"I'll come,lunch and then go?"**

**They both went into the kitchen. Amy was folding laundry at the table,a lot of it looked like Tom's.**

**"There's sandwiches made in the kitchen,boys if your hungry,you just need to make coffee,okay"**

**"Thanks,I was thinking Pond"**

**"Oh" Amy said back.**

**"I don't have to catch my train until five,so what If Rory and me pick Tom up from school? We could take him for a burger,then they could take me too the station after"**

**Amy said at that,**

**"I think,he would like it ,he,seemed worried about you both this morning,when you were still asleep.I told him you didn't get back from your ****trip**** until four didn't ask where,but it's up to you if he ...?"Amy shrugged.**

**"Well I suppose we could tell him it's to do with work if he does" Rory said. **

**"...I don't really like lying to him"But..."**

**"...it is an on going case at the moment" Rory said. "We can tell him as well as the twins and Daisy,one day when their older as you said,right John"**

**"Kay" he said " I don't think ****Daisy**** or ****Tom**** would understand at the moment,that I'm a ****nut****case****"**

**"JOHN...Amy stated..."Don't say that...!"**

**"Why,not ?"**

**He said looking from one to the other,**

**"I have been since you've known me ? Look you two,I've realised in the last twenty four hours,in this life you have got to laugh at yourself,or you'll cry...right?" Now put the kettle on,Rory and we'll have these sandwiches...nipping to the bathroom"**

**As he left the room,Rory and Amy looked at each other...**

**"That is John Smith****?****" Amy said."Right?"**

**" There is,some thing so different about him,oh don't get me wrong I like it,like it a lot..." **

**"Maybe it's,to do with his Dad..perhaps this is the man,he should have been?" Rory said "We shall have to see what the next weeks throw up,tell you one thing,Amy..."**

**"What?"**

**"It's going to very interesting up to the wedding..."**

**At quarter past one, Rory and John left to go to Master's to see Simon. John hugged Amy...**

**"See you,soon,Pond..."**

**..."Not before I see you first,Raggedy Man,"She said,hugging him back,then...**

**"Tell,Clara I will phone her tonight as usual for our chat..." she continued.**

**"You women,I don't know what you find to talk about...your mouth 'does' run away with you!"**

**"Oi!..."Tom's not here I Will so smack you...come here" **

**John escaped to the car,grinning...**

**Rory laughed,yes things,seemed back to normal.**

**They got to Master's about quarter to two,Jayne was expecting Rory,though,knew he had no appointments for today.**

**He sometimes worked from home,if not. She knew about the one to see Simon,as it was in the book.**

**She was surprised to see John.**

**"Another visit, John ?" She said to him.**

**"Can't keep me away,Jayne,got to make sure it's all ticking over and that he's still doing the job right..." **

**Digging Rory in the ribs...**

**"Oi.." he said leading the way to his,office.**

**"When Simon,comes,show him in...and coffee as well,thanks" he said.**

**John sat on the chair in front of the desk, again he raised an eyebrow at Rory.**

**"What?" He said looking back with his arms folded..."I did say thanks...I was polite...haven't got a bag on" **

**Thinking about how John had pulled him up yesterday over the way he had talked to Jayne.**

**"Where's Rory Williams,what have you done with him?"**

**"****Ha ****bloody ****ha****, John,but seriously...how is Clara?"**

**"Well,she knows,I want to talk,to her and Mum about my Dad,"**

**he paused then,rubbing the back of his head.**

**"How their going to take it is,another matter...especially Mum,I hope she won't get upset,but I have to tell her. No secrets,there have been enough of them over the last thirty years,right?"**

**" I think you should..."Rory replied..."The ****Will**** problem?"**

**"I will tell Clara on my own about that,cause apart from her saying,he'd died when we first met,she has never really mentioned him.**

**Only that he was at art college,when she got pregnant with Daisy"**

**There was a knock on the door,then.**

**"We'll talk more later"**

**Rory said.**

**"He's punctual,that's,a good start...Come in"**

**Jayne opened the door saying,**

**"Simon Davis" **

**Showing in a very nervous young man,who looked as though he was going to be sick at any moment.**

**"****My ****God'**** is it me, or do all eighteen year old's, look younger nowadays?"**

**He said under his,breath to Rory,**

**"Did we ever look that young?"**

**With a look at John, thinking how young he had looked to him twelve hours ago when he had been under hypnosis, Rory walked over to Simon then with his hand out to him...**

**"Hello,Simon,welcome...nice to see you again..."shaking his hand.**

**"This is my friend,John Smith," he said indicating John stood next to him,"I hope you don't mind,I asked him to sit in on your interview,he use to be a solicitor,in fact use to work here"**

**"...No,not at all,Mr Smith" he put his hand out to him"**

**"Its, John," he said shaking his,hand...**

**"... and Rory," the man himself added.**

**" There may be times,that you will have to use the formal titles,if you are in a,court session with myself or whoever you can use your judgement on that...**

**...Unlike someone,not a million miles,from here said to a High Court Judge...and I quote...****Hey****..****you****..!"Looking at John.**

**" Well,he was being a right p-"**

**" ...and that's enough of that...John,you don't want to put Simon off,before we start,right?"**

**He smiled at him,,Come and sit down,Simon..."Leading him over to the sofa that was near his desk.**

**Jayne brought in the coffee, left and all three were seated,Rory said,**

**" Why don't you tell us about yourself?"**

**"Well,I left school six months ago,and has you know when l met you the other day,have spent the time lugging furniture for Robinson's"**

**"The furniture place?" John said " There is a big difference between that and a chamber's"**

**"Well,it was,a case of needs must!"Simon replied.**

**" I tried to get taken on at different chamber's,but places,are few and far between"**

**"Yes",John said. " Even in our day,it was like that,in case Simon thought it had been handed to them on a plate.**

**"Both of us have worked at some really grotty chamber's,done other jobs to get by.**

**"It's hard work,for a trainee clerk,"Rory said.**

**" Lots,of running between chambers and the courts,especially when it's a high profile case"**

**"There is lots done on the computer now,but the odd time files would be needed to be rushed across town"**

**"Well,I'm not afraid of hard,work,which is why I took the job lugging the furniture,about,plus I needed to eat" Simon continued.**

**" I had to fend for myself from this year...once your eighteen,they want you out of the children's home."**

**"You grew up in care?" John said back to him.**

**"Yes,makes,you very independent,I was counting the days until I was eighteen. I have a bedsit in Kensington,not much,but it's,all mine" he said looking at them both.**

**" My parents,were killed in a fire,when I was eight"**

**Rory looked at John and then back at the young man in front of them both.**

**"There would be an opening if you are,interested? "**

**...It would be to start next month.**

**Mr Wise,who is head of Chamber's has authorised me to offer it to you on a,trial of three months,subject to how it,works on both sides"**

**"Yes,I am,thank you,thank you very much"**

**Simon was,shaking Rory's,hand up and down to John's amusement.**

**"Well,I will get a letter out to you in the next few days to confirm a start date," Rory said trying to extract his hand back,**

**"The pay won't be great,but Master's offers the college training as well,so you won't have to save up for the next ten years..."**

**John grinned at Simon then,**

**"At least you won't have to lug furniture about for much longer" he said.**

**..."No,I'll give them my notice,as soon as,I get a start date from here...Thank you,thank you again,Rory"**

**He got up to leave,**

**"Well it was great to meet you both,and I look forward to working here..."**

**Walking towards the door,he turned back saying to John.**

**"Did you really,say ****'Hey****,****you'**** to a Judge?"**

**John looked at Rory,**

**"Well,it was,my first time in court,and he was being ****obnoxious****,but saying that,I did get reprimanded for it,which was only right. You learn to keep your mouth shut... I don't think Rory will let you pick up any bad habits though I don't work here now,I expect I will see you about...nice to meet you Simon"**

**"Yeah,bye for now " he said shutting the door behind him.**

**Rory was sat musing looking at the copy of Simon's Curriculum Vitae that he had brought with him.**

**"Well,that seemed to go okay,"John said to him,**

**Rory looked up at him then.**

**"What!?" Your the one that mentioned my bad habits to him...I'd forgotten about Judge Thingee! See can't even remember his name...Rory? What is it?"John seemed puzzled by the look on his face...**

**"Simon's,circumstances seem so similar to Tom's. I know Amy and me can't adopt every orphan,but..."**

**John walked over to Rory then,putting his hands on his shoulders,saying.**

**"No you can't,but you can help him on the way in his career...in fact I might be able to help there as well" John looked at the paper in Rory's hand...**

**"Is that,his contact number,Simon?"he took out his mobile phone,and started to copy down his details...**

**"Don't know why I didn't think of this when he was here...still"**

**"John,what?" Rory seemed even more confused.**

**Has he typed,John was saying...**

**"I need the top floor at the hotel,clearing out,this weekend.**

**You've never seen so much junk,...some of it looks,as though it's,been there years...Do you think he would be interested? I would put him up for a couple of days,feed him up ,least Mum will. I was going to get someone local,but..."**

**Rory grinned then,**

**"That is a brilliant idea...think he would be glad of the money...as long as he doesn't have to work weekends,for Robinson's that Is"**

**"... Well he can always pull a sickie..." John said.**

**"Now who's talking about bad habits!" Rory replied, **

**"Still I suppose he won't be working for them for much longer.**

**When will you phone him tonight? It's Friday tomorrow,John he might be in work..."**

**"I'll do it when you and Tom put me on the train later,Blimey...Rory...Tom... it's quarter to three...we'd best go pick him up..."**

**By the time they had said goodbye to Jayne and left the building,it was nearly three,**

**"Luckily the school is only down the road from the office and the house" Rory said "Which is great for emergencies"**

**The bell was ringing as they pulled up outside and the children were starting to come out.**

**They both sat and watched as the children started to pour out of the school. Tom appeared,and also so did two bigger boys,when one of them pushed him from behind.**

**"Did you see that?" John said.**

**"Yes,I '****bloody**** 'did" Rory was,starting to get out the car,before he could stop him.**

**The two boys were,pushing Tom between them and calling him names.**

**They didn't see Rory coming up behind them.**

**"Your Dad left you...no-one wants,you care kid!"**

**"What the hell!... do you think you are doing,with my son?"Rory was absolutely fuming...struggling to keep his temper.**

**Both the boys went white when they saw Rory's face.**

**John came hurrying up behind him then,as for some reason he was worried about what he would do especially where Tom was concerned.**

**Not that he thought Rory would hurt another child.**

**"Rory...mate" he said,putting his arms round Tom.**

**"It's alright,John," Rory was icely calm...had his back to him...**

**"Don't you think it's a bit much...two on to one? Someone smaller than you..."**

**Saying to the two boys,going up to them.**

**"If I find out,that you touch Tom ever again,or even another child, I will report you to your head teacher,and also the police...now move it...go home...Go before I change my mind."**

**With a look at each other,the two boys,started to walk away.**

**John still had his arms round Tom.**

**"Tom,are,you okay? How long have you been bullied by those boys?"He asked him.**

**"They...they..." Tom was starting to cry now,John **

**Passed him back over to Rory,who hugged him to him.**

**"Hey,mate come,on its,sorted now...you were very brave..." Tom had only got upset after...**

**"Let's go and sit in the car"John said, " we can't talk out here on the pavement"**

**When they got back to the car,John got back into the passenger seat,but Rory had got into the back seat with Tom.**

**Looking at John through the driving mirror.**

**Tom was very quiet at first then said.**

**"My brother,Sam,their one of his mates brother's"**

**"Do you mean the boys that were with him the day Uncle John and me met you in the park,when Daisy was there?" Rory asked him.**

**"Y-yes,one of them, Sean,he knows I live with you and Auntie Amy now ,so they started...started..t-to" Tom was getting upset again. **

**"Tom I think I've sorted it.I don't think you'll have any more trouble,will he Uncle John?"...**

**"...Oh definitely not..." John said "Super Uncle Rory to the rescue...right!" **

**Tom giggled at that...Even Rory smiled then..**

**"Tom I want you to promise me something"**

**He touched his face...Me,Auntie Amy,even Uncle John and Auntie Clara,when they are here.**

**All of us are going to look after you for a long,long time,right,so if anything like this happens again I want you to tell one of us...okay?"**

**Tom nodded then.**

**"Good boy...right,how about we go and take "Uncle John for a burger now,as we have got to put him on the train back to Auntie Clara at five"**

**"Kay...he said.**

**Rory got out and back into the driving seat.**

**When they got to the fast food place,Tom ran on ahead, while they locked the car.**

**He looked over at John.**

**" Do you think he will have no more trouble,Tom I mean?" **

**"He shouldn't do...you will have to see," John replied.."Rory,you dealt with it,that's all you can and its a ****big**** if you go to the school see his head teacher,like I did with Daisy"**

**"Right..." Rory said...**

**He knew the story about what had happened to Daisy,because Clara had mentioned it just before John had got sick,and he had sorted that...got the headmaster removed,because he was drunk!**

**Tom ran back then..**

**"Uncle John come on!"**

**He started pulling John's hand...**

**They've got great onion rings here haven't they Uncle Rory... we've been here before"**

**John laughted...**

**"Okay,okay...Tom...I don't think they will run out..."**

**Rory went to the counter to get served.**

**John sat in one of the booths with Tom.**

**"Uncle John?"**

**"Yes,mate"**

**"Is Auntie Clara still in bed?"**

**" Yes she is...but she should be getting up to come here next week.I know she is looking forward to seeing you" John said.**

**"Auntie Amy said there is two babies in her tummy now,how did..."**

**'Oh not now,Tom',he thought not in a crowded restaurant...****'please'**

**Rory came back then,with the loaded tray...he grinned as he caught the end of the conversation...**

**" I got you a large chocolate shake,Tom," he said.**

**"Cor,thanks Uncle Rory"he said as he started to eat the burger,fries, onion rings as well!**

**..."Don't worry mate,"**

**he said to John,as he put the small wrap and coffee he'd asked for in front of him.**

**"You can always distract Tom with food,not saying he might remember to ask later"**

**"Maybe,he will ask when I've gone home?"John said hopefully.**

**"...but you put them there,the babies" Rory said back.**

**"He's your son...!"**

**John sighed then,**

**...I would be willing to tell him,just not here in the middle of a crowd,that would be just too much!"**

**He looked over at Tom who had nearly finished eating...**

**"Where does he put it?" **

**He said in amusement,**

**"no wonder Pond had to stock up again this morning!"**

**"Well he's a growing lad..."Rory said proudly.**

**"Uncle Rory" said Tom then,**

**"Yes,Tom,did you want anything else to eat?"**

**"No thank you,but can we play football when we get back?"**

**"...If you like,but we've got to take Uncle John to the station first..soon okay?"**

**"Aw...do you have to go,Uncle John?"**

**Tom was climbing on his knee...can't you stay a little longer...please?"**

**"Tom,much as I'd love to,I have to get back to Auntie Clara and Daisy,you know that,but I'll be back with them next week"**

**He pulled Tom to him,putting his head against his saying,**

**"Then we can beat up Uncle Rory,by sticking him in goal..."**

**"Oi,I heard that...!**

**"Rory said."Great you two using me for target practice...again...!"he looked at his watch,**

**"It's four fifteen,John time we made our way to the station"**

**"Kay...come on Tom lets tidy up..."**

**John started to put the empty cartons on the tray,to put in the rubbish on the way out...**

**They made their way out to the car park and to the car.**

**"Right,the station then,"Rory said "We should be in plenty of time"**

**They were there in ten minutes.**

**As they sat in the car,because it was,only just gone four thirty,Rory said,then,**

**"Will you ring Simon?"**

**"As soon as I get on the train...I will ring you later tonight after nine...you will want to know how Clara and Mum have taken what ...happened won't you?"**

**" ...Yes,I do...John"**

**"Rory,"John said then.**

**"Hmm! "**

**Only half listening as he was watching Tom nodding off in the driving mirror.**

**"Thank you... for what you did,especially yesterday,I know I keep saying it but I really am very grateful!"**

**"...And as I keep saying you are always,welcome John" **

**Turning to him then...**

**You are,going to talk to Dr Barclay for as long as it takes?"**

**"Yes...I know what happened to me,but I still need to talk about it, I understand that"**

**"It's ten two John,hadn't we better get on to the platform?"**

**"It's,okay,Rory stay there"**

**Tom was,fast sleep in the back by now.**

**"It's a shame to move him...he had a disturbed night last night,plus the upset over the bullying,you are okay,it's sorted?"**

**"I hope it is,Amy will be upset..."**

**"Pond will be fine,she'll cope!"**

**"I best go...see you next week.**

**Tell Tom I'll see him soon,bye mate Don't wait,get him home"**

**Patting Rory on the shoulder,John got out the car,and waved as Rory pulled away.**

**John walked on to the platform,as the train for Tadchester,came in.**

**He was looking forward to seeing Clara,his Mum,Daisy,but not to talking about what he had found out about his Dad.**

**Nor was he going to like having to tell Clara,about Will but he would...**

**A/N**

**John is going home..**

**He will talk to Simon.**

**He will talk to Clara,and**

**His Mum,how will that go?**

**Also the talk about Will.**

**Please read and review.**

**Next chapter soon.**

**Thanks.**


	61. Chapter 61

**Return to Love**

Chapter 61

John managed to find a quiet part of the carriage so he,could make his call to Simon.

Sitting down near to the window,he took his mobile out of his pocket.

Pressing the contact number it rang,once,twice, on the third ring it was,picked up with a puzzled...

"Hello!?"

"Simon...hello,it's,John Smith,we met this,afternoon at Master's Chambers,hope that its not a bad time to talk,your not still at work?"

"No-No,its,alright I had the afternoon off today. Is there a problem?"

"Problem?"John seemed puzzled now.

..."About the job,you've rung to withdraw it?"

"No not at all!" John laughed "That would be up to Rory,but saying that,he or even I wouldn't do it that way... you would be given a chance first. No I think you might be able to help me with something,if you are,interested?"

"Oh..."Simon replied."In what way?"

John explained to him that the reason he didn't work at Masters now,was,he was going to be running a,hotel in Tadchester with his Mum.

Also that because he was getting married In seven weeks,he needed the top floor of the hotel clearing for some alterations to be done for him and his fiancee, Clara.

"I wondered if you would be interested?" He said to Simon,"In helping me clear the rubbish from there,I would pay the going rate,and put you up for a few days. How about it interested?"

" Yes,I am..." Simon said "I know where Tadchester,is,so when would you want me to come down? I am working,but it's a,slack period,so we will be just dusting the furniture or brushing floors,so I can phone in sick.

Better than spending a Saturday doing that..."

"That's great!" John said "Can you come down tomorrow afternoon? In fact,the train I'm on now the five o clock,will get you there for six. I will meet you,at the station,this time tomorrow"

John said then.

Thanks for this Simon,I will see you in twenty four hours,bye for now"

..." Yeah,bye,John see you then,and thanks"

John hung up...

..."Tadchester...Tadchester...next stop,Tadchester!" the announcement came over the tanoy.

He was nearly home, and back to Clara. As the train slowed down, John made his,way to the doors.

Going out of the station,on the ten minutes walk back to Clara's flat,he thought about some of what had happened to him in the last twenty four hours.

It had really been hard and the hurt was still there, the bitterness,well that seemed to have gone.

His Dad...Uncle...it was hard to think of what to call him.! It would get more easier with time. Everybody kept saying,talking helps,maybe they were right,especially,Rory...he would push him,in the right direction,not let him give in!

Smiling at that thought,he opened the door to the flat,

"Hello!... I'm back..."

His Mum came down the hall towards,him.

"John..."

He smiled...putting his arms round her.

..."Mum,oh I'm so pleased to see you...don't let go" she hugged him back.

"Never,sweetheart..."

When,she finally did though giving him a,curious look...there- was something. In his face?

Dave came out of the lounge then...

"John...your back, great...I'm just off...Mary,I will be here in the Morning to take Daisy to school"

" You don't have to go,Dave...it's okay..."

John said to him...

"...No..No,John,it's not because you have come home,long day,double school run today,which I'm willing to do,tomorrow as well..."

When John started to protest,

"You have got Dr Jones coming tomorrow,and I think you want to be here for that?"

"I will see you in the morning" he patted John on the shoulder as he passed.

"Daisy?" John said to his Mum.

"In the bedroom with Clara," she replied "I will be in soon as I've seen Dave out "

John nodded as he headed that way.

He put his head round the bedroom door,

"Well,I thought you would have had the Jammy Dodgers waiting for me... he said.

There was an excited double squeal and a

'John' as the door closed behind him.

Mary walked down the hall with Dave,they knew that John wanted to talk both to Clara and his Mum about what had happened to him with Dr Barclay.

Rory had rung just before he had got back, apologising to Dave for not talking to him sooner...Dave thought he sounded tired.

"You could stay...John wouldn't mind" Mary said to him.

"I know,but I think,he should tell,you in his own time by yourselves?"

"...Maybe...he looks,tired different,I think,hope that this talk with the Doctor has helped?"

I'm sure,it has...look we will talk later,I'm sure John won't mind you telling me then?"

He kissed her...

"See you back at the hotel,Mary?"

She nodded as she shut the door behind him, and headed to the bedroom.

Going in,John was lay on the bed with Clara...Daisy was in the middle,he looked half asleep...If anything,at the moment,Clara looked the well rested one,while John looked,well for the want of a word...knackered!

"Daisy..."

"Yes,Nanny"

"Let's get you ready for bed,and then you can come back and say goodnight to Mummy and John,okay?"

Aw...Nanny..."she said

John didn't relish the thought of giving up the comfort,but didn't want,her to get away with anything...

"Yes,go on Missy...you can come back and ..." he started to say

"John...can I read my book to you tonight?...I read to Mummy last night"

John looked at them both...

"New home work," Clara said,"she has to read for ten minutes"

"Okay..." John said. " Ready for bed first"

Daisy nodded,getting off the bed.

The door closed behind her and his Mum.

He put his arms round Clara then,

"Hello...! " He smiled "I missed you"

"So did,I "She replied.

"...And you as well,"

Placing his hand on her bump,and then lifting her t shirt up and kissing her stomach.

Clara giggled.

...John?" She put her hand on his cheek.

"Hmm?"

"You look tired...did..did the Doctor hynotise you?" She asked.

"Yes...it was...painless... quite relaxing really"

He said.

"Not sure if it's the same for everybody,it was like,well I think the only way to describe it really is,someone unlocking a door,and then flinging it wide open!"

"So you remember what happened to you? Why your Dad..did,what he did to you?"

"Oh yes...Clara,I would rather talk about this later...not that I'm avoiding the subject,

it just doesn't concern,only me...us"

"I know...there are your mum's feelings as well"

"Yes..I'm not sure how she will take what he did...to me,but she will have to know...I still don't want Daisy to know...she is,too young,wouldn't understand,right,maybe in the future?"

Clara nodded at him,

"Yes,I agree"

His Mum came back then,with Daisy and her reading book.

"I'll come back in half an hour and put her to bed," she said to them both.

"Thanks Mum" John said.

"...Then we need to talk,I'll be in the kitchen,"

"Well,this is new..."John then said "Having a story read to me for a change..."

"You have to sit quiet and listen" Daisy said, "I do!"

John raised an eyebrow at that...

Clara was,trying not to smile...

Daisy read through two pages of the storybook,and only stumbled over two words...

"Well done..."John said to her,"I could get use to this being read to"

Daisy went pink with the praise from John. Clara hoped it would always be like this between the two of them...John was just what she,no not only Daisy...they all needed him.

His Mum came back then,

"Bedtime,Daisy..."

For once there was no arguments,She kissed her Mum and then John...

"Night..night...babies" touching Clara's bump...

When his mum took her out of the room,she said to John,

" She's started to do that,I don't want to discourage her..."

"... Nor should you...Clara,we will involve her all we can when they arrive,she won't get pushed out,I'll make sure of that...she'll be as much mine as them"

"I know" Clara,had her hand on her bump and John took it and kissed it.

His Mum came back in then with two coffees and a tea for Clara.

John sat up,taking the cup from her...

"Thanks Mum"

His,throat was so dry,he was not looking forward to this.

Maybe he should have told them on the phone from Rory and Amy's? No that was a cowards way, besides,he would still have had to face them now.

They were both staring at him,waiting...

"Mum...I have to ask you this..." he paused.

" Did you know that your brother in law was...punishing me for things I had not done? I don't only mean spanking me,there was the punching, kicking,the breaking of my arm as well"

"Oh God, John,no...she wouldn't!"

Clara suddenly said...

She knew, some of it from what had come out with his,nightmares also from what Rory had let slip at the time.

"Surely not,Mum wouldn't let him..."

John turned to her.

"Clara I'm asking her...I'm not accusing" he replied. "Mum, I need to know,what was going through your head thirty odd years,ago...please!"

Mary sat down on the chair next to the bed,facing him.

"John...I will not lie to you...When I signed that paper then...I regretted it every day.

It was only the thought of seeing you,the times that I could that kept me going"

She looked up at him then,

"I did see the odd thing,and I pulled him up over it, thought he,was too strict with you,I was,told to mind my own business,because it was too late,by then I signed that paper.

Thinking back,the bruises that were,on you,he told me you got from playing...that you were just clumsy"

"I see." John said...

"Before he married...your sister,what did you know about him,his family,where he came from?"

She seemed puzzled by the question.

"...Well,not a lot really,I lost touch with her,when our parents died...we sort of went our own ways for a few years,I was at training college, she was at Nursing school,when we got in touch again 5 years later...she was married to him, I never really knew his background or found anything out about him. John,that is enough now tell me! Why all the questions?"

John stood up,white faced said to her.

"Mum...I don't blame you",he whispered."For what he did to me"

John said."He...he..."

It was as though John couldn't carry on with his explanation.

Mary went even whiter...got up taking him in her arms...

Something clicked about what he was trying to tell her.

"Oh my God...John he didn't...please tell me...No no not that,please!"

Touching his face, he still stood stiffly in her arms.

All of a sudden she shook him...

"Mum!" Clara,started up from the bed...with the shock of what she was doing.

"Clara,it's,alright...John,John...come on,sweetheart...talk to me please,snap out of this!"

She pushed him towards the bed and Clara,where he just sat there wooden,staring...into space.

"Mum,what's happening to him..."Clara was asking her...

"John sweetheart please talk to me..." to him...

Touching his face..

"I'm going to ring Rory... stay with him Clara?"

She nodded as Mum rushed into the living room for her phone.

She dialled Rory's number...

"Hello...Auntie. Are you all okay?"

"...Rory it's John...he,I don't know what to do..."

She told him about John asking questions about being with her sister and brother in law. Did she know anything about him or anything of what he did to him.

"Then he just seemed to switch off, go into some sort of daze,Rory he's just sat on the bed staring...oh what do I do?!"

She was in a panic and upset...

"Auntie I'm on my way,try and lie him down if you can, keep him warm,I will be about an hour,it will be quicker for me to drive,than get the train"

"Rory what about the Doctor,shall I call one?"she asked.

"I'm going to ring Dr Barclay now,it's,no good ringing a GP,they will only send him to A&amp;E and we'll look silly if it's,only shock. I think that's,what it is,besides Dr Barclay is dealing with him,we've already got a bloody head Doctor...Auntie do what I say...I will ring when I'm nearly at yours"

He hung up, She went back into bedroom.

John was still sat in the same place on the bed. Clara got up and came over too her,

"Mum...what do we do? He's still like this as been for fifteen minutes"

"Rory's on his way,he thinks it's,shock!"

"But even if he drives like mad it will take him an hour,oh I hope he drives,careful..." Clara said then.

"He's going to ring Dr Barclay,he wants us to lie John down,keep him warm,which is best if it is shock...Clara he might register with you,can you help me?"

Turning back to John, Clara said,

"Let's lay you down sweetheart,come on now...it's been a long day,I'm tired as well"

John was still staring into space,but he let Clara lie him down with his Mum's help,they covered him up...

"Actually that's a good idea,you get in with him,Clara...keep him warm"

When she started to protest, said.

"Please Clara...keep an eye on him for me,I need a minute...please...call me if anything changes,I will be just outside the door,okay?"

Clara nodded,she could see Mum was starting to get upset.

She looked down at John,stroking his head... cuddling him.

"Talking to him might help... Clara" she said as she stepped outside the door.

"John...you don't do anything by half do you?Come on darling your upsetting your Mum,not to mention me,Why now? You were,fine when you got home...you must have been from when you left Dr Barclays..."

Mary was stood outside the bedroom door which she had left slightly open... She could hear some of what Clara,was saying to John and had tears,in her eyes...Putting her hand over her mouth to stop her from full on sobbing,she thought...

"This is all my fault...I've done this to him...oh my poor baby!"

Then,her phone went off again...She moved away from the door.

"Auntie? It's Rory, is there any change?"

"No,he's the same, I've managed to get him in bed,covered him up.

Clara's talking him a blue streak at the moment...cuddling him,telling him off anything to get a reaction" she said.

"I've been in touch with Dr Barclay...he thinks it is delayed shock,he wants me to try a couple of things before we call for any other outside medical help,but I have to be there.I'm half way now,see you soon... alright?"

It sounded as though he was on his hand held phone on the road...

"Please Rory...you will drive carefully...John wouldn't want you to speed and crash,please,Rory"she was tearful...

"I will be careful,see you soon,Auntie...please don't cry..."He hung up and took his foot off the accelerator,he was going slightly over the speed limit to get to him, he would be no good to John if he got stopped for speeding or even worst,crashed his car.

Amy and him had just had their evening meal,when Auntie rung up in a panic.

He wasn't sure what was happening even...Amy told him to go...

"Go sort out Raggedy man" She said.

"Amy,what about you and Tom?"

"What about our best friend,what about John,Rory...Will we abandoned him now? Especially after he has come this far...Would you?"

"No...NEVER!" He said.

"Then there's your answer,now go" she said kissing him. "Ring me when you know what's happening stupid face... I love you"

He had talked to Auntie,again after talking to Dr Barclay.

He seemed to think it could be delayed shock and that's,why John had switched himself off,so to speak...

He also needed to check John was taking his medication right...at the moment he was only taking two a,week,if he was taking the two,he had to make sure he took one more,as well.

Rory pulled out into the traffic he had to get to him.

Find out what was going on with him,it was only just gone eight now,what had happened in the three hours,since he had last seen him?

By half past eight, he was nearly there,turning into the road where Clara's flat was...,he pulled up outside.

He turned off the engine,he rested his head on the steering wheel for a minute. He couldn't sit here all night, what ever was going on inside that flat and inside John's head he would have to sort,nobody else would.

He got out of the car,locked it and went up the path.

Knocking on the door,heard footsteps coming down the hall.

Auntie opened it.

When she saw him,burst into tears and flung herself into his arms..

"...Auntie...hey come on,it can't be that bad, I will sort it,though you will have to let me in so I can!"

"Sorry...sorry...Rory...it's just I'm so worried about him" She said as she let go of him and wiped her eyes

"Where is he ?" Rory asked as he followed her in to the flat.

"In the bedroom,Clara is with him,Rory...please I need to talk to you first...please there is no change in him...he's not asleep,just staring at the wall..."

Rory walked over to the living room door,he opened it.

"In here..."

Auntie followed him in shutting the door.

"Rory you don't think this hypnotism as somehow done more harm than good do you?" She was asking him.

"Auntie,I promise you,he was better,it brought a lot of things out..." he said." It took time, eight hours.I don't think there was any other way to get John to talk,you know what he's like,how obstinate he can be"

"The questions he was asking me about his ...Dad,did I know,who he was,where he came from...I couldn't tell him anything,because I didn't know,my sister met and married him in the 5 years we were apart"

She was telling him what she had told John,and how he said he didn't blame her before he went off into a daze"

"...Auntie,can you remember exactly what you said to him...just before?"

"I got upset,about the way he was treated...he did something to him,didn't he,Rory?"

He looked at her then...

"Yes...and no..

"Wwhat...? I don't understand..."

"I think this is what has caused this...latest relapse" Rory said to her..."your brother-in-law was smacking John,punishing him for nothing"

Looking at her,as they both knew this,as it had come out when John had found out She was his Mother

"He also tried to touch him,where he shouldn't,John managed to stop him before it started!...

Your brother in law blamed John saying it was all his fault and it wasn't.

You realise how hard that was for a three year old? How confused John was? It may have gone further if he hadn't died."

"Oh..my God...No wonder he wanted to know about him...I couldn't tell him anything..."

"Auntie,this isn't your fault,we wouldn't have found this out without Dr Barclay,in fact John wanted the hypnotism...

...I don't want you to tell Clara this...he was frightened that if he didn't,he would do something stupid,like attempt another overdose in the future,and this time he would succeed...This is why he needs still to talk more"

Suddenly there was a shout from the bedroom...

"Mum!"

"That's Clara..." she said following Rory who was just ahead of her...

When they got to the bedroom door,John was sat up on the bed,looking round in confusion,Clara was stood next to the door with her hand on her bump.

"...He suddenly sat up" she said to Rory who took her hand and squeezed it.

"What's happened,why am I in bed...Rory what are you doing here?"

He started to get up from under the duvet which was thrown over him.

"John,stay there, you and I need to talk.

Clara I know you are not suppose to be on your feet,but Auntie perhaps if she sat In the lounge,with her feet up?"

"Oh but...!" Clara started to say...

Mum moved over to Clara,

"Come on,sweetheart,I will make you some fresh tea,you can,see John's alright now,Rory just needs a little chat with him"

She started to lead Clara from the room,Rory shut the door.

He turned back round to John who was sat up on the edge of the bed,head in his hands.

"Well,you really frightened your Mum,not to mention Clara with this stunt,John" he said to him.

"Wwhat,did I do?" John looked up at him then...seeming fully confused.

"Rory I'm home aren't I? What are you doing here?"

Rory sighed, walked over to the chair at the side of the bed and sat down..He put his hand on John's.

"John look at me" he said to him "

John looked up at him with tired heavy bloodshot eyes.

'God,he's knackered' Rory thought.

"John what's the last thing you remember before you wondered why I was here?" He asked him.

John looked puzzled,trying to think of an answer to Rory's question?

"I-I was..asking Mum about my..Dad..uncle I think,n-not sure…"

"Right... John,that was nearly two hours ago...that's,why I'm here...your Mum said you switched off on her,couldn't get any thing out of you...you were in some sort of daze"

"I don't remember,Oh God,Rory...I -I ddont"

John was starting to get upset...Rory put his,arm round him as he started to get up from the bed.

He was shaking...

"It's alright,John, your tired,it was long session with Dr Barclay yesterday, you found out a lot about yourself,right?"

John nodded.

"Look",Rory continued " let's get you in your pyjamas, into bed,all you need is a good night's sleep.I have spoken to Dr Barclay,he thinks it's just delayed shock from what you found out,that's all"

"It is?"

"Yes come on,let's,get you settled..."

Rory helped him undress,get into bed...then.

"John I want you to take this.."

...taking the pill from the bottle at the side of the bed with John's name on them.

...but I've had the two this week,Rory I'm not due to take another until Monday..." he said.

" Dr Barclay wants you to take an extra one"

John's eyes widen at that.

"It's just till he sees you again, might help..." he continued.

"RRory,I'm frightened,it's, not g-going a-way I'm sscared"

John burst into tears,he'd had enough...he was so tired,couldn't take any more...

"Shush...please John take the pill and then you can sleep. Come on,for me please"

Rory had his arms,round him,but he let him go to hand him the glass of water and the pill,from the bedside table.

John swallowed it and then Rory laided him down in the bed.

"Good,now go to sleep," he brushed John's fringe back..."you're just exhausted,be better tomorrow..."

"St-ay"

"Yes...I'm staying John,for tonight"

Another night in a strange bed,away from Amy and Tom,but how could he go home and leave all this to Auntie,and Clara? He would have to ring Amy.

His phone bleeped then,it was a text from Dr Barclay...

'How is he?'

Rory sent a quick one back.

'In bed asleep,took extra pill,will see what tonight does

ring you tomorrow or if any probs... Rory.'He pressed send...

' Fine...but ring if worried doesn't matter what time' came back the reply.

I'm hoping it won't come to that,thought Rory.

He thought John was asleep and was just thinking on getting up to check on Auntie and Clara,when all of a,sudden John's eyes,shot open,

He was trying to get out of bed...

"...What...John where do you think you are,going?" Rory said trying to stop him.

"Cl-ara...have to tell her about W-ill..."

John was slurring slightly,which could have been because of the pill,the tiredness or both.

"No,John,tomorrow..."Rory said ,trying to get him back into the bed.

"Now!",John was pushing back at him.

"John look if I tell her,will you go back to bed,go to sleep,please?"

John stared at him,glassy eyed...

"Y-you would d-do that..?"

"Yes,I'm your solicitor as,well as your best friend,only if you get back in to bed now"

John seemed to run out of steam then,started to slip towards the floor...

"...Woe,John !"

Rory said grabbing for him as he did.

..."Come on...mate...beddy byes!"

With his arm,round Rory's neck,John with glazed eyes,

Muttered...

...S-Sorry,R-ory I'm being a-a trouble...a-again..."

"No,your not,though I will be cross if you don't stay in your bed"

"...Kay..."

He got John back into bed, this,time he did go to sleep.

Rory was sure as he was snoring!

'Bloody hell mate ! Never thought I'd be pleased to hear that from you'

Covering him up,leaving the door slightly open made his,way to the lounge...He had to tell Clara about Will,because he promised John.

Walking into the lounge,the two women looked up at him.

"He's asleep...I think he wants me to stay tonight,is,that okay,Clara?"

"Of course,will he be okay now,Rory?" Do you know why he went like that? He was fine when he came home,laughing and joking with Daisy and me"

"I have given him an extra pill,Dr Barclay wants,him on three for the time being.I will ring him tomorrow when I know how John is.I still think he is the best way to go with this...I don't know what else to do other wise"

He sat down in one of the armchairs as Auntie put a,cup of coffee in his hand.

She thought Rory looked exhausted too,as he had as little sleep as John.

She wouldn't let him drive home tonight even if he had wanted to,would have put her foot down about that!

"Rory,it's alright,we were talking while you were in with John,and we both of us realise this is,the only way you ...we can help John.I'm just sorry that you all got caught up in something that is my fault"

Auntie was getting upset took a hankie out of her pocket..Rory with a look over at Clara knelt down and put his arms round her.

"I've told you,Auntie,none of us blame you for any of this,neither does John,"

"Yes Mum,Please don't cry,John wouldn't want you to upset yourself"

"I ,We will sort this"Rory got back up.

"Clara,I need to talk to you"

She looked over at him.

"Yes,Rory?"

"John was going to tell you this,tonight,but because of what happened,he asked me if I would"

"Oh,what was it?" She said.

Rory glanced over at Auntie,maybe it was as well she was here just in case Clara got upset.

..."You know,I'm trying to sell John's flat for him?"

She nodded.

He continued,

"There was a,young couple came to see it the other day,before I took him to see Dr Barclay?"

"Yes,John said there was the night you phoned,to tell him to meet you at Master's...Are they interested in it,Rory?" She said.

Rory rubbed at his head,he had one heck of a headache coming...

"No they weren't,Clara...the man,it was Will,Daisy's Dad"

"...Wwhat...!" Clara had gone pale...

"I'm sorry,Clara,I know you told Daisy,he died,John told me that's,what you said when you met him" Rory said then.

"Yes," She looked at him..."perhaps it was wrong of me,She was five and had just started school,going through a 'why haven't I got a Daddy' stage.I thought he died,sounded better than he didn't want us...Oh!I knew this would come back to bite me on the bum"

"I told him,you were happy,were going to be married,expecting the twins..."Rory said.

"Does he know about,Daisy?" She said.

"Yes,I'd mentioned it...I'm sorry Clara,he did say he wanted to see you that he would be in touch"

"Rory it's not your fault...Can he take her away from me?"

"I don't think so sweetheart,there could be access to her,but we will cross that bridge,if we have too,okay... Clara,I won't let him take her,he might not even bother to get in touch"

"I take it that John wasn't very happy about this?" Clara said then.

"... No...in fact,he wanted to take you and Daisy and get as far away from here,as possible...at first" he replied.

"That's not,John!"Auntie spoke up then "The solicitor in him wouldn't do that"

"I don't think he would be thinking straight,"Clara said.." in fact with the state his mind is at the moment,he would go mad if he lost Daisy"

"Clara...I promise you both,I won't let that happen" Rory said...

"I best ring,Amy,tell her how John is and I'm staying the night...I'll just"

He pointed to the kitchen,

Clara knew he perhaps wanted to talk to her on his own.

"I'll just check on John" Auntie said to them both.

"I won't disturb him,need to see he's,okay"

Rory nodded,at the end of the day,he was still her little boy,this must be hurting her a lot.

Leaving Clara to think about what he'd told her,which he thought she had taken it quite well,Rory headed to the kitchen and Auntie to the bedroom.

Sat at the kitchen table, Rory called Amy.

"Rory?"

"Yes,it's me"

..."How is he...Raggedy Man?"

"At the moment,in bed...

He did Come to,he was so confused and upset,e-especially since I've had to give him another pill"

Rory was getting upset,Amy could tell...

"It's okay,stupid face,I know you won't leave him,that he needs you.

I Understand"

Are Auntie and Clara alright?"

"As they can be,"

he replied..."I'm going to try to get them to go to bed soon,we're all tired,know I am!"

By now it was nearly 10pm...

"Amy how will you explain to Tom,where I am? He's bound to ask...I'm sorry to leave all this to you,especially with the upset he had today"

He had told Amy about the bullying that had gone on when he and John had picked up Tom from the school. She had been very matter of fact about it.

"I will tell him you had to go some where with Uncle John for work...you will be back Saturday?" She said to him.

He knew she was giving him till then in case there were anymore problems with John.

"As for the bullying,I'm going to have a word with his head teacher when I take him tomorrow"

"...What... Amy..." he said.

"Rory,I think you have sorted it,but I think the school should know,it is going on.

It could be happening to other kids as well,if we don't say anything it's like we're bad parents.I'll just have a quiet word,not even going to tell Tom"

Rory knew Amy was right.

"You will ring me when you get back from school in the morning let me know how he is,what the school said?"

"Yes...and you can tell me how Raggedy man is,okay...now stop worrying stupid face,he will be fine after a nights, sleep.

It's probably just a one off...he's bounced back before. Get some rest...I love you"

"I will...love you too..." he hung up.

Auntie had gone in to see John,Rory had left him covered up,but in the meantime,he had kicked them off.

She smiled as he muttered in his sleep,as she put them back over him,he had always done that from being a toddler.

Kissed his cheek,he looked so young,now !

She knew he was fighting so hard to get well,and for all Rory and Clara kept saying,felt this was her fault.

"Oh,sweetheart,why didn't I do more,I should have picked you up and took you away!"

"Auntie..?.Rory stood near the door with Clara.

"Is he okay?"

As she came over to him...She nodded.

"I think Clara should get some sleep now as well," he continued. He kissed Clara on the head,

"Call me if you need anything...if he...I will be in the lounge"

"He will be fine..." she said as she went across to get into bed with John.

Rory went out with Auntie and shut the door.

He opened his mouth,to say something,but she said.

..."I'm staying,Rory..."

"But..."

"I rang Dave earlier,told him what happened,I will see him in the morning when he comes to take Daisy to school"

"Okay,okay...you win!"Rory knew there would be no arguing with her.

"I will have the arm chair and you have the sofa!" He said having the last Say.

Auntie gave in to him.

By the time they had got the pillows and blankets from the hall cupboard,it was gone eleven.

Rory for all he had drawn the short straw,had gone straight to sleep.

She lay and watched him,sleepless.

Poor Rory, she thought,was exhausted,what with his home life and with trying to cope with John's problems in the last few days.

John...she thought as she was nodding off,how would he be,tomorrow?

A/N

So John as had a relapse

How will he be in the morning?

Dr Jones is due to see Clara.

Also Simon will come to help John out at the hotel.

Though it hasn't been mentioned with

this happening to John.

Please review

Chapter 62 soon.

Thanks.


	62. Chapter 62

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 62**

**Rory woke to a bang and what sounded like a curse? Where the hell was he? His head was pounding and there was a crick in his neck.**

**Rubbing his neck,he looked over towards the sofa,he noticed Auntie fast asleep,then he remembered. He was in the armchair in Clara's flat.**

**"Bloody hell" John... !" he thought.**

**Thinking about the noise he'd just heard,it had come from the hall. Getting up quietly,so as not to wake Auntie,Rory made his way out of the lounge. The hall was,empty.**

**He noticed the light under the kitchen door.**

**Opening it,John was switching the kettle on. He was in his dressing gown and limping.**

**"...John...it's half past six!"**

**Rory looked at his watch,yawning.**

**"Sorry,mate,did I wake you up?" John noticing him then.**

**Rory gave him a,look as though to say,was there a ****'pig ****flying ****over ****there****?' Had he ever known John to do anything quietly,especially in the mornings!**

**"I fell over Daisy's school bag...again! She will leave it anywhere than it should be,funny it's always me that trips over it..." John said then.**

**Do you want a coffee,Rory?"**

**He sounded back to normal...**

**"How about I make it...and you go back to bed?" Rory said.**

**John looked at him.**

**"Now why would I want to go back to bed? I'm fine,besides,got a lot to do today...Dr Jones is coming to see Clara for a start,then Simon will be here later to help me clear the top floor at..." he started to say...**

**"John are you sure your up to all this?"**

**"...Up to what,Rory...?" he was getting irritable now..."I'm not sick...look I don't need a keeper...so why don't you just go home to Amy and leave me alone!"**

**He went towards the door in temper and out into the lounge...as he got there,noticed his Mum asleep on the sofa. Going back into the kitchen,Rory had finished making the coffee.**

**He put a cup down in front of John as he sat down at the table.**

**"...Mum...she stayed?" He said.**

**"She wouldn't leave you ,John" Rory replied.**

**John sipped at the coffee,then...**

**"I'm sorry Rory,I didn't mean what I said before about needing a,keeper,I'm just tired of all this...it's not fair on you or Amy,let alone Tom...**

**...you can't keep running back and forth between Tadchester and London every time something goes,wrong for me!"**

**"Try and stop me!" Rory said then. "I've been looking out for you since we were three,and will do it until my last day,I can be just as stubborn as you, John"**

**"I should just give up" John said.**

**"Perhaps you should,as I won't" **

**"No I mean with the talking to Dr Barclay" **

**"Why...? Rory asked him then.**

**" It's making things worst,maybe it's best I don't remember?"**

**"...And what's to say that in five years,time we have to go through all this,again when life's, happy for Clara,Daisy...the twins and every one has too put their lives,on hold to help,and this could have been sorted now... because your too scared to find out about your ****Dad****.." Rory said.**

**"...That's not fair,Rory" John replied.**

**Thinking about all the trouble he was putting them all to...**

**"Life isn't... We both know that. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be,I would be at home in my own bed with Amy"**

**"You should be talking to her about the miscarriage,not about what is going on in my head" John continued.**

**"And I will" Rory said. **

**"Look,John,my ...our marriage is fine,at the moment,we are enjoying,having Tom, with us.**

**It's the best thing we have ever done****.**

**Has for the baby problem,we will get round to talking about it. Amy is in her element,in fact she is going to have a word about the bullying when she takes him in school later"**

**" She is?"**

**"Hmm...she thinks the school should know,in case it is an on going problem...and so do I"**

**"Told you,Pond would cope"**

**"So...do you still want to talk to Dr Barclay,next week? You told me yesterday,that you would.I still think he is the best way for you to go.**

**In fact he was great when I had to rush back here last night,with advice and about your medication"**

**John's head shot up then,**

**"You talked to him?"**

**"...Yes,he said it could be ****delayed**** shock from what you did find out about your...'****Dad ' **** told me too give you another one of your pills"**

**"Is that why I feel better,maybe?" He was looking puzzled...**

**"I'm sorry,Rory it's all a bit hazy.I sort of remember talking to my Mum and Clara about him, then nothing until you were there and you told me,I'd switched off?"**

**Rory nodded...**

**"Yes,you did,and he told me it was because it had all come out about your Dad.**

**In fact when he brought you back,you were too calm and perhaps this had to happen"**

**"Do you think so? He hurt me and you both brought me through it,but I need to know about him,who he was"**

**"Why,John?"**

**Rory said to him. **

**"He's not a blood relative,you've found out who your parents are.I know your real Dad died least you know,who he was.**

**You've still got your Mum"**

**"...I,you don't understand,Rory...He's nothing to me,and I know I said I can't have hate for him for the rest of my life,but I need to try and find out why he did this to me...I need...closure"**

**"John are you sure about this,maybe you should talk it through with your Mum,perhaps?"**

**John was shaking his head,**

**"No,I want to do this,if you won't help me,I will do it myself...anyway from what I remember from the conversation just before I switched off,Mum doesn't know who he is either..."**

**"Course,I'll help you on one condition,you don't go behind, Auntie's back,that's not fair,John,you said no secrets,right?" Rory replied.**

**"Okay," John said then.**

**"Speaking of secrets...did you tell Clara about Will?" **

**"Yes..."he said.**

**"And...how did she take it?"**

**"Quite well,as it happens,she's not very happy, about him coming back...but,**

**...We'll sort this if we have to,right? She thought this would come back to bite her in the bum"**

**John raised an eyebrow at him.**

**"...her words not mine"**

**Telling John that,she only said he'd died because Daisy was asking ****lots**** of questions about her Dad.**

**"She thought it was better than he didn't want them,John,you can understand,can't you,why she said that?"**

**"I don't blame her,Clara was on her own for seven years,Daisy would want to know,who her Dad was...I did myself" John said then.**

**Yes thought,Rory,he and Daisy are,very alike,and I'm not going to let ****anyone**** take ****her**** away from him.**

**..."So Simon jumped at the chance of some work then?" He said to John.**

**"Yes,he's coming later tonight,he's going to take a ****sickie**** this weekend. I think it's slack at Robinson's at the moment,so they've got them brushing floors, dusting the furniture"**

**Rory looked at him when he mentioned about Simon pulling a sick day...**

**"Oh don't look like that!"**

**John said to him.**

**"He'll be coming to work with you in the next few weeks,I don't think you will let him pull a fast one...besides,I think you'd have had one or two in your time when you were his age"**

**" Oi, my name's not John Smith..." Rory said laughing.**

**The door opened then,and his Mum came in.**

**She looked surprised to see John sat at the table drinking coffee with Rory,but relieved.**

**"John...your up..are you okay,sweetheart"**

**She put her arms round him,pulling him to her.**

**He hugged her back...**

**"Mum,I'm sorry I frightened you..I-I didn't mean to"**

**Mary,put her hand on his face then,thumbing away the tears,that were starting down his cheeks,she kissed his head.**

**"It's alright,baby...just don't do it again...I think I aged 10 years"**

**John pulled away from her then,by now it was nearly seven thirty.**

**"I best get Daisy up and ready"**

**Mary said then.**

**"Dave will be here in an hour to take her to school..."**

**"I'll do it..."John said looking at them both."I want to..."Getting up to go out he turned back...**

**"Rory,mate...don't take this the wrong way,but..."**

**"No,John,not going home until tomorrow...late afternoon at the earliest,"**

**When it looked as though John was going to protest again said.**

**"There is a change of clothes in the car and my shaving stuff,Amy must have put it in..."**

**"Good old Pond..."John said then..." But what about Tom?"**

**"We are going to take him for a picnic on Sunday,I'll be back for that...besides I haven't seen this flat at the hotel.**

**May as well give you a hand why I'm here"**

**"It's filthy up there",John said to him then.**

**"So...I'm sure you have something old I can lend...John you best go and get Daisy up,we'll sort this,out ...later?"**

**"... Daisy...oh yes,Daisy..."John said as he hurried ****out of the room.**

**Auntie looked at Rory then.**

**"He will be alright now?"**

**"Auntie,I hope he will,I have had a good chat with him,and nearly a fight as well...!"**

**Seeing the look she gave him.**

**"Oh don't worry...nothing serious,**

**...Just John being John,wanting his ****own ****way as usual**** you know how he is...can be" when she looked startled.**

**Rory,then decided to ask her a question.**

**"Auntie,how would you feel...if John decided he wanted to find more out about your brother in law? Would you mind?"**

**She had walked over to the counter,making a coffee for herself, turning round then.**

**"Is that,what this as been over,Rory? Why he was asking me all those questions about him?"**

**"It could be,I'll have to ask Dr Barclay when I call him later" he replied.**

**"John says he needs to find out who he was...and perhaps he will find out in the process why he hurt him?"**

**" I hate him for what he did to me, especially what he did to John...but if this is,what he wants I will go along with it"**

**John came back then,holding Daisy by the hand.**

**"Uncle Rory!" she said. **

**"What are,you doing here?!" Throwing herself into his arms.**

**Her school bag,which she had on her shoulder,fell to the floor,John nearly fell over it again...**

**"I'm sure this,****thing**** is,out to get me!" he grumbled.**

**Mary picked it up...**

**"I'll just put it in the lounge until Grandad comes,"**

**"Hello,sweetheart...I had some papers for John so I stayed last night as we were talking and it got late..." Rory said to Daisy hugging her to him.**

**"Thanks" John said quietly, over her head.**

** Rory's quick thinking,to explain to Daisy why he was there.**

**"Will you take me to school ****please****?"**

**Daisy begged then as she sat on Rory's knee.**

**"What about Grandad...Missy?" John asked.**

**"Tell you what,why don't I go with Grandad for the walk? John can't today as Dr Jones,is coming to see Mummy soon.I'll just rescue my stuff from the car...I've time for a quick shower?" **

**He looked at John who nodded.**

**'And I can have a,quick word with Dave,then phone Dr Barclay' he thought on the way back.**

**"Mum..." John said then,**

**"Yes,Sweetheart"**

**"I've taken someone on for a few days to help me,clear the top floor at the hotel.I said we'd put him up,feed him."**

**"Oh,so he's not a local then?" she replied.**

**"No...it's,someone both Rory and me know..."**

**John said then with a look over at him as he headed for the bathroom.**

**"Does it matter?"**

**He knew his Mum liked to employ local people if possible.**

**"His name's,Simon. Rory has taken him on at Master's on apprenticeship" he finished telling her.**

**" I think he needs the cash,you'll like him"**

**"Well,it's your home,John,but are you..."**

**Rory who was,still stood near the door shook his head at her...**

**"...I think I'll go and get dressed,see if Clara's awake..."John said then.**

**"Thought you were going for a shower?" He,said to Rory passing him in the doorway.**

**"Just going now... "**

**Waiting until John had gone back into his bedroom out of earshot said.**

**"Auntie...it's best not asking John,is he up to all this,as it just upsets him. He's already had a go at me for suggesting that. Let him get on with it,I will keep an eye out,least for today"**

**"...If your sure,Rory?" **

**She said..."You know him best"**

**Going over to the cupboard to give**** Daisy her breakfast.**** Rory headed for the bathroom,went to get his things from the car first.**

**He opened the door, Dave was stood on the step about to knock.**

**"Rory!"**

** He said surprised to see him...**

**"How's John?"**

**"Better,it was just a one off" **

**...' l hope' he thought.**

**"...I've stuff in the car to change into. I need a shower..."**

**He looked down at his crumpled clothes that,he had slept in...**

**"... Thank God for Amy,Eh...I will have a quick shower and walk Daisy to school with you,Dave.I need a chat?"**

**Dave nodded at him.**

**"Auntie is in the kitchen with Daisy,"**

**he said as grabbing his,stuff from the back seat this,time heading for the bathroom,before John saw him thought he was up to something...**

**At the moment,he could put two and two together and make five! Best keep the peace least until Dr Barclay saw John ,or he got some advice from him,especially over Johns ****Dad.**** What the next step would be,he could only guess at for the moment.**

**Dave walked into the kitchen,Daisy was sat at the table eating her cornflakes.**

**"Morning " he said going over to Mary and kissing her cheek... "Is...?"**

**He was going to ask where John was,when he came in dressed in jeans and a shirt.**

**"Hi Dave,Clara's awake if you want to see her before you take Daisy...I was just going to take her tea and toast...if you want to..."**

**"It's ready...if you want to take,it Dave" Mary said handing him a tray...**

**"John sit down...yours is ready as well"**

**"Oh, I'm not hungry..." John said.**

**"...Do as your told..."**

**"But..."**

**"John...!"**

**John gave up then,knowing he wasn't going to get away with anything.**

**He subsidised into a chair.**

**"Hope your going to make him eat breakfast as well," pointing. He grumbled, as Rory came back into the room from his shower.**

**Grinning as he heard the end of the conversation,with his Mum. John could argue for England over a piece of toast!**

**"Rory,is not you,young man,he will eat...John ****eat ****please****...you have got a long day like you said.**

**So you can't manage on fresh air and coffee!"**

**John sighed, picked up the piece of toast,knowing he wasn't going to get away with it.**

**"And stop pulling that face..."She said putting a coffee down next to his plate.**

**"Yes Mum..."**

**Daisy was grinning. It was funny John getting told off by Nanny!**

**John pulled his tongue out at her...**

**"I don't know,what your laughing at Missy..."But he was smiling at her...**

**Dave came back...**

**"Clara said she will go and have a,shower when she's eaten her breakfast" he said.**

**"I know it's,not been a,week John,but I think she's looking better"**

**..."Yes,I think she,is..." John replied. "It took some doing...getting her to stay in bed..."**

**"She can be very obstinate...**

**"Really...does that remind you of anyone" **

**Rory said,thinking how alike Clara and him were, not giving up on anything.**

**"No?"**

**John said back to him, he was,smiling.**

**"Time for school,Daisy" Dave said to her,"Go and get your things"**

**"I'll just grab my jacket "Rory said. "See you at the front door"**

**"...John,we'll go over to the hotel later..." Rory said to him, "once the Doctor's been"**

**"There's not much to see ...only junk!"**

**"I know, we can see what needs moving,I know you've got Simon,but it will be quicker with the three of us,what time is he coming?"**

**he continued.**

**"Five o clock train from London," **

**John said,as Rory got up to follow Dave and Daisy from the room.**

**"John...sweetheart" his Mum said. "Half a round of toast ...is that all your going to eat?"**

**John looked at his plate,and back up at her...**

**"I'm not really hungry" he said away.**

**Mary sighed,then sat down on the chair next to him... taking his hand in hers.**

**"Okay,I know you haven't been yourself,especially for the last twenty four hours,but you wouldn't lie to me?"**

**John looked up guilty...**

**"You would tell me if you were hearing the voice in your head telling you not to eat again right?"**

**..."Not as bad as before,but..."**

**"...It's still there,telling you don't eat...?" his Mum finished.**

**John nodded in misery...a tear in his eye...**

**"I-I'm sorry... trying not to listen to it" he was getting upset now Daisy wasn't there.**

**She hugged him then,**

**"It's okay, ,Rory and me...We will sort this" kissing him on the head. "I will try not to nag...it's only..."**

**"I know...you care...I'm sorry,sorry to be like this,you don't need this,neither does Clara!"**

**"Baby...stop this! none of this is your fault...now go, sit with Clara,till the Doctor comes...go"**

**John got up and wiping his eyes went out of the room to go into Clara.**

**Mary waited until she heard the bedroom door close and then went into the hall. Rory was stood near the door putting his jacket on,laughing at something Dave was saying to Daisy.**

**"...Rory couple of minutes,before you go? " She said. "It's important"**

**"Go on its only twenty past..."Dave said..."Daisy and me,we'll wait on the corner"**

**"Two minutes,"**

**Rory said as they both went out the door. "Auntie is it important? Can it not wait until I get back?"**

**"Not if you are,going to speak to Dr Barclay while you are out?" She replied.**

**"Why...what's,happened...?"**

**"John has just told me,he's hearing the voice again...telling him not to eat..." she continued.**

**Rory looked at her...**

**"Oh, hell...I thought he'd got over that,I know he wasn't a big eater like you said,but he was eating...this as got to be something to do with what happened last night...about your brother in law,right?"**

**She nodded.**

**He said then." I thought he seemed a bit upset when he passed us in the hall,he hardly said goodbye to Daisy" he took her hand.**

**"I'm going to take Dave for a coffee,I will ring Dr Barclay then,have a word,thanks Auntie...try not to worry,I try to sort it,best go" **

**He pointed to the door."See you later"**

**"Bye Rory..."**

**Mary went into the bathroom to get dressed and then to tidy the flat before Dr Jones came...**

**"****Meanwhile**

**John was lay on the bed with Clara,holding her hand.**

**"John..." She started to say,**

**He had been so quiet.**

**"What...?"**

**"Everything is alright,isn't it? You would tell me if anything else was wrong?"**

**"...Its fine...I'm fine..." he said too quickly.**

**Clara was relieved to have John back,as it really had worried her how he had gone last night. Even though Rory and Mum had explained it was part of the problems he was having at the moment,of what his Dad had done to him.**

**"Is it the wedding,the hotel?" She said then.**

**"Is it too much...all this planning?"**

**John sat up next to her then,**

**"... You don't want to marry me?"**

**"Course I do...I love you!"**

**"Then stop asking stupid questions" he said.**

**"JOHN!"**

**She sat up away from him,with hurt and tears in her eyes.**

**"... Clara,I'm sorry,I didn't mean to say that,"**

**he put his hand on her arm...**

**She shook it off...**

**"Why do you talk to me like that? I was only asking.I've been so worried about you,especially since yesterday. I love you...need you, but you talk to me like ...like before,treating me as though I ****am ****stupid****!" She was getting very angry now.**

**John just stared at her then...burst into tears himself.**

**"I-I'm ssorry...ssorry,please,C-Clara,ddont leave me...I llove yyou!"**

**"John,hey come on...it's okay...****please don't,it's alright...look, I'm not going anywhere"**

**Her temper cooling some what...Clara,turned back to him,she couldn't believe the change in him...,it was as though...he couldn't cope,was panicking. Just how he was when he tried to take the overdose a few weeks back.**

**She knew he had a lot on his plate,what with the hotel,the wedding.**

**There was also the worry of her and the babies.**

**She put her arms round him then.**

**"Sweetheart,I'm worried about you,I know,you have...problems, you need to talk to me,not bottle it up,okay?"**

**John nodded his head,**

**"I-I'm sorry!" He sounded so miserable, though he had slept,looked exhausted.**

**"Tell you,what" Clara,said then,**

**"I don't think the Doctor will be here just yet, why don't we get comfortable?"**

**"If you want a nap, I can go and find something to do..."John said then,sitting up, wiping his eyes, went to get off the bed.**

**Clara stopped him.**

**"...Please,stay with me,John,a cuddle would be nice..." smiling at him to let him know he was forgiven.**

**Touching her hand to his face...**

**"Lie down with me?" She said.**

**"Kay..."**

**They both lay down on the bed.**

**"This is nice..." she said.**

**"Clara...I am sorry for what I said..."**

**John had his arm round her.**

**"I should think before I open my mouth,we seem to be arguing a lot lately,and its my fault...always my fault" he sighed.**

**Clara didn't say anything,she was keeping a note of everything so she could tell Rory and Mum how he was,later.**

**Then she said,**

**"John?"**

**"Yes..."**

**"I know it's not even a week yet,I do feel lots better"**

**"I know you do...so" **

**John said,knowing this was leading up to something.**

**"If Dr Jones lets me,can I get up and come to the hotel with you and Rory? Please"**

**John sat up slightly...**

**"Clara,there's nothing to see at the moment,the top floor is full of junk"**

**"I know,but it would be nice to imagine,how it's going to be,and you've got the plans,you could show me"**

**"Tell you what," John said then, " If Dr Jones does release you,and I'm saying, ****'If'**** We go in Rory's car and you can have a look,as long as you do as your told and rest in Mums office,okay"**

**"Can't I go today with you both?" She then said.**

**"Clara! Rory and me will only be going to pick up Simon and settle him in,we won't be doing much until tomorrow"**

**He had told her about hiring Simon to help him out to clear all the rubbish...**

**"You won't miss anything,rest today...you can get up if Dr Jones says,so,but only as far as the lounge...deal"**

**"Okay...deal!" Clara replied."Will you bring,Simon here for supper? So I can meet him,he sounds nice"**

**"He is," John said. "Yes he's invited,I promised to feed him while he was here"**

**Suddenly there,was a knock on the door...**

**"Clara...John..." **

**Mum's voice came through the door.**

**"The Doctor's here,can she come in?"**

**They had been busy talking and discussing things,that neither had heard the door bell.**

**"... One minute!"**

**Clara called as John got off the bed and helped her tidy it. Then he walked across to open the door. Dr Jones stood there.**

**"Sorry...Doctor...just tidying,Clara will eat biscuits in bed"**

**"Oi,I do not!"**

**She retorted back to him.**

**"That's you...Hello Doctor" She smiled.**

**"Well your looking better" Dr Jones said putting her bag down on the chair next to the bed.**

**Looking over at John thought,he looked really tired,but at the moment he wasn't her patient.**

**"How have things been...You have been resting?"**

**Clara nodded...**

**"I've been doing as I'm told..."**

**...At a push...!"John said stood near the door with his arms folded.**

**"What about your blood pressure?"**

**"I have taken it,twice..."John said then,"both normal"**

**"Good...good" the Doctor took her own equipment out too take it... "and so is that..."**

**"Can I get up,PLEASE..."Clara begged. "I know you said two weeks,but I feel fine..."**

**Dr Jones looked between John and Clara,**

**"Okay...here's the deal then...No exertions,rest when your tired...keep an eye on the blood pressure...but it seems as though it has settled.**

**The no sex ban,still stands least for another week...then we'll see,If you want to"**

**She handed John a prescription...**

**"More vitamins,I still want Clara,to take them... " **

**She closed her bag...**

**"I want Clara too see the nurse at the surgery once a week...but everything looks fine...You know where I am if you need me..."**

**Picking up her bag then,**

**"...Doctor..."Clara said then.**

**"I'm sorry I was stroppy with you on the ward the other day...I didn't..."**

**"Clara it's fine,don't worry about it...and how about you, John?" turning to him...**

**"Me,I'm fine...just tired..."**

**"Perhaps you could register, at the practice when you bring Clara to see the nurse next week...unless,you have somewhere else in mind?" She continued.. "We're not the only one in Tadchester..."**

**..."Yes,he will do that...I will make sure...Thank you again Doctor..." Clara said.**

**John opened the door for her,**

**"Mum,"**

**he called "The Doctors leaving,"**

**as she appeared out of the kitchen,wiping her hands on a tea,towel.**

**"Bye... John.."**

**"Yeah..."he went back into Clara...**

**"Register?" He said...**

**"John,you need a ****GP,**** now you've moved from London. I know you are seeing Dr Barclay,but he's...,"**

**...a head Doctor...yes,I know..."**

**"We may as all be with the same practice..."Clara continued... "The twins will be as well as me and Daisy..."**

**"I know...I just...don't want people knowing my business..." he said.**

**"John...Dr Jones is not people...and it will be treated in confidence,whatever is said when you see her,or even one of the others at the practice..."**

**At the moment you are,seeing Dr Barclay,there will be other times, other things."**

**"I'll think about it" John said then.**

**Clara let it go,for now.**

**She squealed...getting out of the bed...**

**" I can get up!"**

**"Woe,slow down,Clara... remember what we said..feet up in the lounge"**

**"Okay...okay,,I'll be good...I want to go to the hotel tomorrow...I'm going to get dressed though...sick of being in my nightie"**

**"Oh,I don't,know!" **

**John said.**

**"I like the view...!"**

**She was wearing one of her short baby doll ones...**

**"Well,make the most of it,as it will be joggers in a few weeks as this won't fit over the ****bumps**** soon"**

**Trying to pull it down...**

**She kissed him.**

**"How about a cup of tea for when I'm dressed?"**

**"Right...see you in the lounge,I'll just tell Mum"**

**He went out and shut the door.**

**Going into the kitchen,Mary was at the counter,chopping vegetables.**

**"I thought I would make a large casserole for supper later for when Simon comes" she said.**

**..."Yes...fine... I think he will eat anything,doesn't strike me as,the fussy eater type"**

**He grinned then.**

**"What!?"**

**"Just thinking of Tom...the human dustbin...I will have to take another mortgage out when he comes,for a visit"**

**His Mum smiled then,because Rory had told her about him when she had phoned up,before this had happened with John.**

**How proud Amy and him were,and how they hoped to adopt him later...**

**"Where's Rory? I thought he would have been well back by now"**

**he looked at his,watch.**

**"It's gone eleven..."**

**looking at his Mum...**

**"He's talking to Dr Barclay about me isn't he ?"**

**She put the knife down she was using.**

**"Sweetheart,he needs to know what happened last night...,"**

**as she put her arms round him.**

**"He knows some of it,Rory rang him last night he told me so.I'm on three pills now and I will be seeing him Wednesday evening,to talk" he said.**

**"John...you can't expect him to wait until then,besides...Rory's only talking to him,nothing else"**

**She kissed his head...went back to her chopping.**

**John then said.**

**"Dr Jones is letting Clara get up,she wants to see the flat at the hotel,even though there is nothing to see at the moment.I said Rory and me would take her tomorrow...I can show her the plans"**

**"That's a good idea,she hasn't seen it up there yet,with everything that has happened.**

**Its going to be her home as well John.I know there is lots of junk,but she can see beyond that..." **

**"Well,she as,promised to put her feet up,today in the lounge if I let her go tomorrow and to sit in your office in between looking while we clear the rubbish,that's alright isn't it?"**

**John continued looking over at her.**

**"Of course" She put the casserole in the fridge."I'll put that on a low light later...**

**How about I make some soup for Clara and you?**

**Then you can have a nap before picking Simon up later..."**

**"I want to pick Daisy up,from school,I'll have time before Simon gets here. Not hungry...not really tired..."**

**John sounded like petulant three year old... who had his toy taken away!**

**"John,I'm not nagging,but you are dropping! I know you have this problem with food...you fought against it before,****and won.**

**You have to try. Have a nap...****Or**** you ****will ****not**** be picking Daisy up if you don't 'its as simple as that...I'll tell Rory your not doing as your told...he will do it,or Dave will...your choice!"**

**Clara came in then...**

**"Nothing fits...I'll have too go shopping next week for something bigger,I'll need something things before,we go to Rory and Amy's"**

**"I'll take you on Monday" John said then absently.**

**Clara looked at his Mum,she shook her head as though to say I will tell you later.**

**"Lunch..."she said and then you can get your feet up in the lounge Clara"**

**"And I will go and have a nap..."**

**John said,with a look over at his Mum.**

**"Bit tired...all of a sudden"**

**"...Right..." **

**Clara looked at him.**

**Knowing something had been said... if John was volunteering to go for a nap.**

**It was Mum,who had talked him into it.**

**She had noticed lately,that he was doing as he was told more, when Mum gave him a talking to smiling...it was just what John needed. she would ask her later...**

**Tadchester High Street 9.30 am**

**Rory and Dave had taken Daisy to school.**

**The former then suggested a coffee and as he did not know Tadchester,Dave had taken him to the local restaurant in the high street.**

**Sitting now,while Dave had,gone to the counter to order,Rory thought about what had happened in the,last twenty four hours. John seemed better at the moment,the next twenty four hours,well...they would all have to see.**

**He would also have to ring Dr Barclay soon,let him know how John was and what their next move would be!**

**Dave came back then with two coffee's.**

**"I ordered two full breakfasts,I expect you have not eaten much?"**

**Rory thought... then said.**

**..."Not since last night,really,only toast,that's all I had time for this morning" **

**His,stomach rumbled...Yes he was hungry...**

**Dave sipped at his coffee then,**

**"So,John...how is he?"**

**Rory took a breath and said,**

**"He is better, I won't lie to you Dave,we still have a few more battles to fight..."**

**"Mary told me what happened to him,what his,Dad did,to him and I'm sorry for that..."**

**Dave carried on.**

**"And how do you feel,Dave" Rory said.**

**"Do you still want John for your son in law?"**

**Dave fiddled with the napkin in front of him,**

**"Rory...I am grateful for what he did to get my Daughter back into my life.**

**For the three Grandchildren,I've gained...I have a lot of respect for John and I've come to realise that his problems are not his fault,nor are they Mary's You know I love her don't you?"**

**Rory smiled...**

**"We sort of guessed,Clara,told Amy and me weeks back,you were old ****friend's****..."**

**"...l want to marry her" Dave carried on," she wants John and Clara to be happy first,and so do I. If I object...which I don't,I wouldn't be able to change Clara's mind...She loves John so much.**

**How about you,Rory...are,you coping?"**

**"Me...?" Rory seemed puzzled by the question.**

**"You plod on with John's problems,even though there must be some of your own.**

**What about your family...your job"**

**"I'm fine," Rory said.**

**"He's my friend...Amy and me love him...we won't abandon him.**

**As for my job,I can pick and choose my clients,work from home and as long as I cover my work load,I can find time to help John...**

**... I'm not saying it's,not been hard at times,but I will always,be there for him...I'm hoping that I can sort John's problems out,before the wedding.**

**Has for Tom? Even that is,working out and its,helping Amy"**

**..."Because of the miscarriage?"**

**Rory looked at him then.**

**"... How did you...?"**

**"Mary told me...I'm sorry I shouldn't pry.**

**That's your private business,Rory"**

**"I don't mind...John thinks we should talk about it, Amy and me,not be running round after him. Dave at the moment,We are both happy,Tom is well,and once John is sorted...I ...we will talk."**

**The breakfasts arrived then,and Rory ordered more Coffee as they both dug in.**

**When they had eaten,Rory looked at his watch,**

**"I will have to get back soon,John will wonder where I've got to...I need to call Dr Barclay first" **

**He looked over at Dave.**

**"Not that I'm trying to keep anything from John,but it's,a conversation best done on my own"**

**"I will be at the hotel for most of the day,as I have,to go back to Richmond tomorrow,check on the house.I'm selling up once they are both married.I don't want John to think it's,because I'm keeping tabs,on him"**

**Dave said.**

**"Oh,you will want to be close to Clara and your Grandchildren" **

**Rory replied.**

**"Besides,if you and Auntie do get married, she won't want to move away from him now she has,just found him so to speak...and their,also her Grandchildren.I wouldn't worry,Dave,you do what you have to do"**

**"Best make your call then,Rory...I'll pay the bill on the way out.."**

**When Rory made a protest said...**

**"...No...my treat,you keep looking out for John...Daisy do you want me to pick her up from school later? Or perhaps you and John?"**

**"John and me will do it,we don't have to pick Simon up until six,you will come to supper later,meet him?" Rory said.**

**"I'll be there"**

**He got up.**

**"See you later,I'll leave you to make your call,bye Rory..."**

**"Yeah,bye Dave..."**

**Watching him at the cash desk,Rory took his,phone from his pocket,he pressed the contact number for Dr Barclay.**

**"Hello Rory Williams!"**

**Came a voice.**

**"...Doctor,I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner ..."**

**By now,it was ten thirty...**

**"Problems? How is he this morning...did he sleep?" Did you?"**

**"He did snap out of it,Auntie said it was nearly two hours.W****hen**** I got there he was very confused"**

**Rory continued,**

**"I managed to get him to take the extra pill,he did seem better this morning but,there,is still..."**

**"Something underneath..."**

**The Doctor finished for him.**

**"Yes,he was...very frightened last night,panicking, he wants to find out,why his Dad did what he did too him,wants..closure"**

**"Rory,there is nothing to worry over,but because of this 'hiccup'. I think I'd better see John sooner than Wednesday,could you come at 3 o' clock,Monday? Or do you have to work?" I could make it later..."**

**"No that will be fine... no clients for the next few days" **

**'I can concentrate on John' he thought'**

**"The pill...give him another,Monday"**

**The Doctor said.**

**"I want him to take them,Monday,Wednesday and Friday,until further notice"**

**"Right,I'm staying until tomorrow,but I will make sure Auntie knows," **

**Rory laughed.**

**"He listens to her" then thinking about what she had told him about,John saying the voice in his head had come back telling him not to eat said,**

**"there is,one problem that we have Doctor...it has only just come up...again"**

**"Oh..."**

**Rory began to tell him, when John had been staying with Amy and him last month,it had been a battle to get him to eat because he was scared in case he was was sick.**

**How there was also a voice in his head, telling him not to...**

**"In the end,we did managed to get him to eat.**

**It was hard, as first. it was nothing at all,then just cereal or toast because he wouldn't be sick if that's all he ate..."**

**"I see," **

**said Dr Barclay.**

**"And you say this is starting again? It might be as well to bring his appointment forward,I think there is still something at the back of his mind,hidden...don't worry,Rory,we can sort this"**

**"We can?"**

**"John is a complex puzzle,that can be solved"**

**"Right,"**

**'Not sure if John would like being called a ****Puzzle'**** he thought.**

**"We'll see you,Monday,at three Doctor..."**

**"Yes,any problems in the meantime you have my number...use it if you have too,Rory,bye for now"**

**"Yeah,bye..." Rory hung up.**

**Looking at his watch,it was nearly eleven by now.**

**He best get back,John seemed okay,but the way he had been in the last twenty four hours...well it was hard to know,what John's behaviour would be like.**

**Rory left the restaurant and started the walk back to Clara's flat...**

**A/N**

**So Rory has had a good talk to Dave.**

**What will Clara and Auntie have to tell**

**him when he gets back,how John has been,**

**While he has been out.**

**Simon will arrive.**

**John and Rory will take Clara,too the hotel.**

**So she can see the top floor.**

**Please read and review.**

**Chapter 63 soon.**


	63. Chapter 63

**Return to Love **

**Chapter 63**

**When Rory got back it was a little after eleven thirty. He found Clara and Auntie in the lounge,talking.**

**"Hi,sorry to have been so long"**

**He said,looking asked.**

**"John?"**

** Asleep, "Clara replied. "He has been slightly upset while you were out... I was just telling Mum that I though he was having panic attacks again"**

**"Why didn't you phone me?"**

**Rory said.**

**" I would have come back if you needed me,if there was a problem..."**

**" ...No,Rory,it was,nothing that couldn't be handled,you can't be here twenty four seven"**

**Auntie said to him.**

**"We will have to cope,when you go home,do you want some lunch,dear?"**

**"I've eaten,your Dad bought me breakfast,Clara then I phoned Dr Barclay,that's,why I've been so long" he replied.**

**"Sorry..."**

**"Rory...will you stop apologising!" **

**Clara said.**

**"You and John are not joined at the hip,besides apart from the problem of what happened last night,which by the way,we were very grateful there are things about John we can both sort"**

**She smiled.**

**"... In fact...Mum can get him to do as he's told,on occasion"**

**Rory smiled at that,finding it to be quite true.**

**"Right,well,let me use the loo,and then you can tell me what has upset him,back in five minutes"**

**Rory headed to the bathroom,on the way back, he put his head round the bedroom door,John was flat on his back...snoring!"**

**He smiled. Closing the door quietly,he headed back to the lounge.**

**Sitting opposite the two women,and looking at Auntie said,**

**"You actually got him in bed,to take a nap?"**

**"Rory...he was dropping... he wouldn't admit it,at first...it was only when I threaten to tell you saying that either you or Dave would pick up Daisy and not him,that he gave way!"**

**With a look at Clara Rory said,**

**"And what about the other...problem we've got,has he...?"**

**"Half a bowl of soup...piece of bread,half a piece of toast earlier"**

**Auntie said back to him...**

**"Is that all?"**

**He put his hand through his fringe...**

**"We've got a problem,but like last time,we can't force him to eat,only try and persuade him"**

**"Rory,Mum told me John is hearing the voice again like before, telling him not to eat,there has to be a reason"**

**Clara sighed saying to him. **

**" I think that's,why he got upset with me just before Dr Jones arrived,did you tell Dr Barclay about this food phobia?"**

**"Yes...he wants to bring John's appointment forward to Monday at three"**

**When both of the woman looked at him,continued.**

**"I don't think he is worried as such,but thinks John should talk about his Dad,sooner,it might help...as you said Clara there has to be a reason,maybe Dr Barclay will get it out of him?"**

**He looked at her then,**

**"You said that he had a panic attack,got upset? I need to know,so I can tell Dr Barclay"**

**Clara began to tell him how John had been earlier,that they had a fight...**

**..."because I got angry with him,he just...crumbled,Rory...got so upset, started crying and shaking,thought I was going to leave him,though I'd never do that,no matter how he is with me! I love him so much!"**

**Rory took Clara's hand in his.**

**"I know...anything else?"**

**"I-we made up,but Rory he kept saying it was his fault...always his fault...like it all goes wrong,it is always his fault!"**

**Mary,who had been listening to the exchange between Clara and Rory said then.**

**"I know you told the Doctor how he is about food. Did you tell him John also wants,to find out why,Mike hurt him?"**

**"I did"**

**Rory said,**

**"Maybe he can't give an opinion until he talks to John about it.I suppose that will be the next step,trying to find out what is going on in his head"**

**Suddenly there as a loud bang and...running feet?**

**Rory looked at Auntie and Clara,**

**"What...the...!" he said.**

**Heading for the hall with them both following him.**

**They were in time to see the bathroom door shutting and the sound of someone being sick...**

**"That's got to be John," **

**he said, as Clara moved towards the bathroom, he put his hand on her arm.**

**"...Let me...he might be feeling ill because of the medication,Auntie,will you take her back to the lounge,Clara,I will get him back in bed,then I'll come and get you,okay?"**

**He didn't think John would want Clara to see him with his head in the toilet!**

**Clara nodded and let Mum take her. Rory waited until the door closed,then knocked on the bathroom door.**

**"John...are you okay?"**

**"R-Rory?"**

**"Course it is mate.. are you alright?"**

**There was the sound of more vomiting...then**

**"D-do I ssound ****'ffucking'**** alright...oh God!"**

**More vomiting...**

**"John?" No answer... "look I'm coming in..."**

**"N-no..leave me alone!"**

**Rory tried the door...it wasn't locked...**

**'Oh ****thank ****God****,' he thought least John hadn't done as he did the other week when he locked himself in the downstairs cloakoom at his house.**

**In the bathroom,there,John was kneeling on the floor.**

** Head,against the cold porcelain pan,in his shorts t-shirt,bare foot,eyes,closed...he groaned...**

**Rory put his hand on his back,John put his head up then...opened his eyes...**

**"Do you think you've finished,John? If you can get up,I will help you get back to bed"**

**John gave him a look that would kill him stone dead,then putting his head back down on the,loo said,**

**"No...'****bloody'**** stopping here...**

**If I don't move...might not be sick again" he shivered.**

**" No more pills...No more food...the voice is right...best not to eat..."**

**He sounded as though he was nodding off. Rory came to a decision,getting a glass of water from the sink...**

**..."John come on mate,rinse your mouth out,and then I'll get you back to bed,okay?"**

**Putting the glass to John's mouth,he rinsed and spat...but wouldn't get up off the floor!**

**"No! its safer here..." Put his head down again.**

**Rory took his,arm and put it behind his,neck.**

**"Come on,John,I will get you a,bucket in case you throw up again...you can't stay here,better in your bed...Upsie"**

**Rory pulled him up from the floor...**

**"Well don't blame me if I throw up all over you!"**

**John grumbled at him,as he helped him back to the bedroom and into bed.**

**..."NO! I don't want to lie down!" he said. Siting up again. "The room is doing very funny things!"**

**Taking all the pillows,even the ones from Clara's side of the bed,Rory propped them behind John. He was sat up. He went and got a bucket from the kitchen.**

**"John...I'll leave this here...just in case?"**

**Putting it down at the side of the bed.**

**John opened his eyes,glaring at him...**

**"This is,your fault...Rory Williams...go away...leave me alone..."**

**He had started up from the bed...turning slightly green in the process...hand over his mouth...**

**"...Oh God...shouldn't have done that...where's,that bloody bucket!"**

**Rory grabbing up the bucket, got it to John in time... wondering where it was all coming from...**

**John lay back on the pillows,he groaned...**

**... Every time you give me pills I'm sick!" he said to Rory.**

**"I don't think it is only that...John" **

**Rory said back to him.**

**"Besides...you have to take them...right?"**

**"...Do I?" John replied,**

**Looking over at a spot above the door...**

**"Perhaps I shouldn't, it might be making things,worst...the voice says..."**

**"Why,now John? " Rory said to him then.**

**...What?"**

**He looked back at Rory.**

**"You were getting better,eating again!" Rory was getting frustrated with him.**

**" The voice thinks it's best not to eat,I won't be sick...and the pills are not helping,nor is,the talking to Dr Barclay" **

**John said irritable, pulling a face at the bucket in front of him.**

**"I think it's stopped now"**

**Rory took it away from him...**

**"I'll just go and empty this..."**

**Turning back to John, he had a determined look on his face.**

**"Back in five minutes this conversation is not over,John!"**

**John opened his mouth to answer him back...**

**..."Not by a long way..." Rory finished.**

**Rory went back into the bathroom,emptied the bucket down the loo,rinsing it out and put it near the door.**

**Washing his hands,he looked at himself in the mirror.**

**God he was tired! ...all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep! No...he was going to get John back on track and he was going to take the dam pills,even if he had to come and stand over him to make sure that he did!**

**He came out of the bathroom,Clara was stood there.**

**"Oh it's you Rory...I wondered...thought you were still in with John?"**

**She pointed...**

**"...Sorry need to ...the babies are doing a dance on my bladder,quick word in a minute?"**

**He nodded,as she went into the bathroom.**

**Standing by the door,as he heard the flush...and then running water...Clara came out...**

**"Oh, that's better!"**

**She said...**

**"... Is everything okay now?"**

**"Not really,no, "he was stood against the wall with his arms folded.**

**Seeing the look on Clara's face said.**

**"He's stopped being sick,but I think he's looking for any excuse not to take his pills"**

**..." What,and is he still hearing the voice in his head?" She said to him.**

**"Oh,yes!, it's telling him not to eat...not to take the pills"**

**Rory replied,sarcastically.**

**"It's saying what John wants to hear at the moment! Don't worry,Clara,I won't let him get away with it,three a week he has to take...and he will!"**

**He moved away down the hall to go back into the bedroom.**

**" He is,going to see Dr Barclay on Monday...even if I have to drag him there...!"**

**Auntie came out of the lounge then,**

**"Rory...is he okay?"**

**"Better than he was,but I think we should try to get him to eat something...Auntie can you give me twenty minutes with him then bring him some toast,or cereal...anything to line his,stomach please?"**

**She nodded,and headed for the kitchen followed by Clara.**

**Rory headed back to the bedroom.**

**John was on his back,with his eyes,closed.**

**Some of the pillows were back on Clara's side.**

**..."Don't give me that John,I know your not asleep,come on sit up we need to talk" **

**Rory walked up to the bed,**

**" ... If you don't sit up and talk to me right now...I'm going home...to Amy...to Tom and I won't be coming back. I mean it!"**

**When,John,huffed,then turned over away from him,as though he didn't believe him,Rory grabbed the mattress and tipped him on to the floor!**

**"What the hell! Rory! Are you out of your mind!?"**

**" No...but evidently,you are,so why don't I just go and let you get on with it? I mean anyone who hears a voice in their head as got to be, a ****'nut ****job'****,right?"**

**Rory was absolutely fuming...He went towards,the door...**

**..."WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" John in a panic, was struggling to get up from the floor,which was a tangle of mattress,sheets,pillows and the duvet.**

**"RRory,please don't go...I'm sorry..I-I,please,I can't do this on m-my own..."**

**Turning back...**

**"Your not on your own are,you John. There's your friend in your head, why do you need me?" **

**Rory hated himself for pushing John like this,not knowing what else to do,which way to go,was playing it by ear.**

**"Nearly,six fucking weeks I've been with you, helping you and what thanks do I get...Sod all!"**

**He pointed at him...**

**"I've been running round after you...Christ half the time I'm like a,zombie because I've had,none or hardly any sleep!...Well,no more John! You'd rather listen to some phantom in your head,than me or even Dr Barclay,that's alright,but I'm not stopping here,to watch you kill yourself...I'm going home back to my life! Bye,John...Good luck...!"**

**Rory pulled open the door,went out into the hallway and slamming it shut behind him,he was shaking... stood against the wall,**

**eyes,closed,remembering the shocked look on John's face as he slammed out!**

**Auntie was coming down the hall with a tray with cereal,toast and coffee on it...followed by Clara.**

**"...Rory...What is all the yelling and shouting?" Clara asked.**

**"...Is John okay?"**

**"I'm just giving John a lesson in some home truths..." he replied,looking at them both.**

**"Rory,dear...I hope you know what you are doing..."Auntie said.**

**"Mum,let him have another... half hour?"**

**Clara looked over at Rory,he shrugged his shoulders.**

**"He still needs a talking to right? I love,John,but he can act like a child at times,so you have to treat him like one.**

**Rory had to sort him out when we were staying with him and Amy"**

**She was remembering how he was then,the fights,Rory had with him.**

**Thinking by the way he was standing,and by the look on his face,Rory was about to give up and this time,throw in the towel!**

**"...He can do it again!? Right..."**

**She touched his face,saying quietly,**

**"I know he's being a right '****prick'**** at the moment,"**

**Rory raised his eyebrows at that...**

**"Do it if not for me, for the babies,Daisy even" **

**She touched her stomach...**

**"Please,Rory!"**

**"Clara,Clara,you have so much faith in me...I'm not sure I can do this..." he started to say...**

**"Yes you can...please sort this!" She replied.**

**Looking between the two women,he made up his mind...**

**"Okay...I will see what I can do"**

**He eyed the tray...on the hall table.**

**"Sorry,Auntie...think that as gone cold with all this...besides...I...don't think he will be in any mood to eat..."**

**"Just call us,when you've talked to him?" Mary replied.**

**Rory squared his,shoulders and went back to the bedroom door. He opened it and went in closing it behind him.**

**John with his back to him,was still sat on the mattress and all the bedding on the floor. **

**He had his knees up to his chest,his head on his arm.**

**'Christ!...'Rory thought, 'Have I done more harm than good' Least he wasn't rocking...**

**"John?" He tried tentative...going round to him,touched his head.**

**John raised a tear stained face at the sound of his voice.**

**"RRory...I-you...thought you had left mme" **

**He burst into more tears!**

**Rory got down on his knees and held his arms out to him.**

**"...Come,on mate it's okay...I'm not mad any more!"**

**John collapsed in his arms...and sobbed..as he patted him on the back.**

**All Rory could hear was...**

**"I'm...ssorry...I'm ssorry...!"**

**Over and over again! Then...**

**"...It's m-my fault,all-m-my fault..."**

**Rory held him away from him and wiped his eyes with his hankie.**

**"Hey now...you have too try and stop saying that,John... I've told you before everything is not your fault! If you keep saying that...thinking it,maybe that's why your not getting any better?"**

**John was starting to calm down.**

**"Rory...it is...You said so yourself,I've put you through ...hell this last six weeks...with no thanks.I don't deserve help...or anything nice to happen like Clara...or Daisy or the twins..."**

**Rory shook him slightly...**

**Stop it John! I didn't mean what I said,I'm just tired..."**

**"But your right!" **

**John continued.**

**"I'm a nut job...perhaps I should just go away be on my own,then I can't hurt anyone..."**

**"I shouldn't have called you that, and I'm sorry,I think I was trying to shock you over the voice in your head...I'm really worried about that coming back again,trying to understand why?"**

**Rory said.**

**..."It's gone...!"John said.**

**"What! John,are you sure!?"**

**"I think it was the shock" John said then.**

**"Maybe it was from what happened last night...**

**...After you said you were going and not coming back..." **

**He was getting upset again...**

**"I-I really thought that was it!.Everybody l-eavesl I'm going to be on my o-own...so C-Clara will...I-if I don't get better..perhaps I should just end it all now?" He was shaking...**

**Rory's heart splintered,hearing that! Seeing the state he was in...**

**"John,do you want to die? Take the pills like last time?" **

**He asked, held him away again to look into his,eyes...**

**"No!...I think sometimes,no one wants me then I see Clara look at me,Daisy,then I feel happy again...it's just at times,I feel so depressed,it hurts!"**

**"John would you take the pills behind our backs? Because I will get you help if you need it"**

**Rory said then.**

**"That would mean going into hospital wouldn't it?" John shuddered..."No way...I rather talk to Dr Barclay and you, Rory...don't leave me to do this on my own,please!"**

**John begged looking at him.**

**"I know you have to go home tomorrow,but knowing your on the end of the telephone helps...I won't do anything stupid...I promise!"**

**Rory looked at him...He sighed.**

**"Okay,John,here's the deal,I will go home,back to Amy and Tom...**

**...I want you to phone me on my mobile ****'IF'**** you have any ****suicidal**** thoughts"**

**"I won't!" John said quickly.**

**"I said,if John" Rory carried on,**

**"Also,Dr Barclay wants to see you sooner than Wednesday,so I've made arrangements for Monday at three..."**

**Rory was watching John's face as he was telling him this.**

**"He wants you to take your pills, Monday's,Wednesdays,Friday's for the time being...so I'm going to get Auntie to give them to you on those days...And I'm sorry the same applies if you need paracetamol...you will have to ask...for the time being...be watched, taking them...least until you have talked to the Doctor..."**

**John just looked at him,but he didn't protest.**

**He knew because of what he had confessed to Rory,that he couldn't be trusted.**

**He couldn't stay here and watch him twenty four seven!**

**"...Alright...I agree" he said.**

**"Do you think,you could try and eat something,now? I know you have been sick,but you should try? Some toast or cereal maybe?"**

**John pulled his face,but nodded.**

**"Look,John"**

**Rory said then ...**

**"I know its easy for me to say,but if you try not to get worked up,keep busy...the voice might keep away...it has gone...right?"**

**"Yes...I wouldn't lie to you,Rory" he said. **

**"I'm not sure why it even came back..."**

**"It could have been shock,like you said,John,anyway something else to discuss when you see Dr Barclay"**

**Rory replied.**

**"Right..."he carried on."I'll go and get you something to eat..."**

**"Er! Rory,hadn't we,sort this room out first..."**

**John and him were both still sat on the mess of mattress and bedding on the floor.**

**"I don't think Clara,is,going to be very pleased when she sees the state of her bedroom" **

**he continued. **

**"What!?"**

**Rory was giggling...**

**"Your face when I tipped you off the bed..." he said.**

**"Oh yes...,about that..."**

**John was saying has he grabbed the nearest pillow and was hitting Rory over the head with it...**

**..."Don't you '****ever****,****ever'**** do that again!"**

**Rory grabbed another pillow and was hitting John back...,one of them burst and suddenly there were feathers all over the room.**

**That was when there was a knock on the door,and Clara put her head round it...**

**"Rory,is everything okay? Only its nearly half one,and you will have to go and pick up Daisy in an hour or so...unless you want my Dad to do it...I will have to let him...Oh my God...!"**

**She saw the state of her bedroom.**

**"Now...Clara...it looks worst than it is" **

**John started to say. Spitting feathers out of his mouth...Then he pointed...**

**"It's Rory's fault..."**

**"Traitor!" Rory said...but he was smiling.**

**"Come on mate lets tidy up and then you can have something to eat before we go and get Daisy...we'll do it Clara...he could do with some fresh air!"**

**"Can I have a bacon sandwich" John asked then...with brown sauce?"**

**"What! Are you sure,John?" Rory asked him.**

**"...Yes I'm starving now...don't worry I won't be sick again"**

**"...Well okay...I tell Mum that's,what you want...both of you?"Clara said.**

**"Yes please,Clara..."Rory said realising he was starving hungry after the tussle with John.**

**"Please put my room back to how it was..." **

**She said...**

**"Honestly,Amy's right...you two are like a pair of kids when your together...Oh by the way she phoned Rory...your phone is on voice mail.I told her you will ring back later..."**

**"Thanks...Clara.."**

**'Hell,I forgot she was phoning about Tom...' he thought. He felt in his pocket,he must have left it in his jacket in the hall.**

**"She probably just wants,to tell me about Tom and the bullying," **

**he said to John as they tidyed the room...**

**"I'll ring her later...when we've eaten..."**

**"I'll need a shower...and a shave before we go get Daisy,I feel better..."**

**"But you look like,shit..."**

**"OI!"**

**...John threw a pillow at him.**

**Clara went into the kitchen...Mum was sat at the table with a cup of tea in her hand.**

**She looked up as Clara came in...**

**"Are they okay?"**

**"Not sure what as happened,but John seems better...Rory must have worked his magic...again,I expect he will tell us what brought on the change in him."**

**she said then...**

**"They want bacon sandwiches...!"**

**"John as well!?" Mary couldn't believe it...**

**"With brown sauce..."**

**Clara replied,**

**"...John requested it..."**

**Rory came in then,as Mum had got up to turn the grill on and take the bacon out of the fridge.**

**"John's gone for a shower",he said.**

**Clara put her arms round him and kissed him...**

**"Thank you...for sorting it!"**

**"Clara,Auntie...I need a word while he is...out of the way. We're not quite out the woods yet..."**

**He began telling them what happened.**

**"So that's why my mattress was on the floor" Clara said.**

**"It was the only way I could get him to listen...to make him think I was going away and leaving him and his voice too it!"**

**Rory replied.**

**"It sort of worked...the voice has gone ...for now,but..."**

**"It could come back..." Auntie said to him.**

**Rory nodded...**

**"Which is why I want you to monitor his pills like I said...I don't think he would try anything,but it's if he gets,depressed if it's a problem,I will stay"**

**Clara looked at Mum...**

**"No...we will do it",**

**she said "John knows we are going to do this,right...and as agreed to it,so that should make it easier"**

**"Besides,Rory" Auntie said.**

**"You are on the end of the phone in emergency,if need be,you can't stay and hold John's hand all the time,you have a life as well..."**

**"Rory..."**

**Said a voice from the doorway..."She's right..."**

**John stood there,showered,shaved and dressed.**

**"You do have a life,that shouldn't revolve round me all the time, Amy,Tom,they need you..."**

**"That doesn't mean I won't stop helping you John,I will still come if you need me"**

**"Rory replied.**

**"I know you will,but I want to get on with it,get my life back on track" **

**John said then. He went and hugged his Mum,**

**"I'm sorry I've been so much trouble to you both,putting his arms round Clara then as well.**

**"Especially you,sweetheart,are you okay?" He put his hand on her bump..."I hope you have been resting?"**

**"Yes in between,visits to the loo...the babies are sitting on my bladder,in fact" pulling a face "Now...Sorry,John...must go..."**

**She kissed him and then quickly headed for the door.**

**John looked at his Mum,turning the bacon over on the grill,**

**"It's alright...part of the course,John,I was just the same with you...up and down every five minutes,to spend a penny"**

**"...Right " **

**John said sitting down at the tables,facing Rory,who grinned at him.**

**Mary put the bacon sandwiches in front of them both,John smothered his in Brown sauce and then bit into it and swallowed followed it with another quick bite and swallow.**

**"John,mate I would slow down..unless you want to be sick again...and this time you can get the bucket yourself!" **

**Rory said in amusement.**

**"...but I'm hungry!" John said.**

**"John..." his Mum said with a look..."Slow down!"**

**"Yes Mum..."**

**Rory said then as Clara came back,**

**"I have told Auntie and Clara what we have agreed to when I go home tomorrow, you will be given your pills,Monday'Wednesday,Friday' and you have to show you've swallowed them,like you did with me. Also if you have to take paracetamol, for any reason"**

**"Yes,I agreed, why are we discussing this now?" **

**"Because,there might not be time later,with Daisy, don't forget we have to pick up Simon as well"**

**"Fine" John said irritable, getting up.**

**"Just a minute,John,I've not finished..."Rory said softly " Unless you want me to stay and monitor you...?"**

**"No...I'll behave..." he said,sitting down again.**

**"I will meet you at Dr Barclay's Monday...your appointment is for three.I don't want you to drive..."**

**Rory carried on...**

**John looked up at that...**

**"Why...? I'm quite capable"**

**"I know,but you might have to be hypnotized again"**

**"Okay...train it is...any other instructions?" John said sarcastically.**

**"I'm doing this too help you,John,if you don't want me to...!" Rory said.**

**"Sorry...sorry,it's just,so frustrating...being treated like a child..."**

**"Then stop behaving like one!" Rory finished."Try to keep calm and keep your temper...okay?"**

**John nodded.**

**"Right " Rory said, "two fifteen...just got time to ring Amy,then we'll go get Daisy..."**

**He went out to the car...Sat in the drivers seat.**

**'Bloody hell... hope this works, hope he behaves' he thought.**

**Taking his mobile out of his pocket,he pressed Amy's ****number. **

**Three rings then...**

**..."Rory?"**

**"Hello...sweetheart,I'm sorry I wasn't available...I left my phone in my jacket pocket."**

**"Are you alright?" she asked then.**

**"Clara was saying you were having some problems with John ...something, about not eating again and panic attacks?"**

**"He was,but I think I've sorted it for now"**

**He told her what had happened,and what he had arranged with Auntie and Clara.**

**"So you are coming home tomorrow night?"Amy said**

**"Yes I can't watch him all the time,Amy...I just hope he doesn't play up Auntie and Clara,but I- we can't trust him at the moment with the pills,least until Monday and we'll see what Dr Barclay says"**

**"I don't understand it...he was so different when he left here yesterday,a changed man" She said.**

**"Amy,its as though he has gone back in on himself needs,this talk to Dr Barclay,because I don't know what else to do!"**

**"Do you think he would,do something stupid?"**

**"Amy,sometimes I think I don't know him,then I think,hey it's,John Smith...your Raggedy Man...he wouldn't do something like that! Would he?"**

**"Rory can you cope with all this?"**

**"Who else has he got,oh I know there's his Mum and Clara,but is it fair to leave it all to them? Amy I don't think I would want him to end up in hospital...not for something that wasn't his fault..."thinking about what his Dad had done to him...**

**...I know we had a fight and I threatened to leave him, he was,so frightened when I went back in,begging me not to and ,to help I guess I carry on...How did it go at the school? Did you sort it?"**

**"I had a word with his headmaster,they knew,about the two boys who were bullying Tom,in fact they have been suspended for two weeks"**

**"Really,because of Tom?"**

**Rory said.**

**"Sort of...they had also been bullying other kids as well...told you we were doing the right thing stupid face!"**

**"...Has he been okay because I'm away again?"**

**...Hmm!" He's asked if you were away doing 'Solicitor' work with Uncle John. He's done nothing but talk about,Uncle John coming with Auntie Clara and Daisy next week.**

**Also about seeing how big the babies are now...**

**...What else was it now...oh yes putting Uncle Rory In goal so they could beat you up?" **

**Rory could tell Amy was laughing...**

**"That's John for you..." he said. "God I hope,he keeps well to come next week...besides he's got to explain to Tom why there is two babies in Clara now,because I'm not!"**

**Amy was giggling at that...**

**"I will have to go,stupid face,pick him up from school...Will you ring later,talk to him?"**

**"Yes,I'm on my way to get Daisy now with his Lordship..." **

**He could see John stood on the doorstep pointing at his watch,he waved.**

**"...Talk of the devil,I'm being summoned..Amy I will ring later we have to pick Simon up at six,so about seven,speak to you then...love you...bye"**

**"Yeah...love you to stupid face...bye!"**

**Rory hung up and got out of the car.**

**John was,stood on the pavement,arms folded.**

**"I thought you wanted to come with me?" he said.**

**"I do,John it's only just quarter to now...five minutes walk...Rory said.**

**"How's Pond,Tom? Is he okay? Did the school sort out the bullying? "**

**"Amy's fine,so is Tom..."**

**Rory said to him as they were,walking down the road.**

**"... The bullying is sorted,those two boys have been suspended,they were bullying other kids as well!"**

**"See,told you it would work out"**

**John said to him as they walked up to the school gate,the bell was just ringing when they got there.**

**"Told you we would be in plenty of time,John"**

**The children had started to pour out of the school gate,they both were looking for the little blond pigtails of Daisy. Rory was just telling John how Tom was looking forward to seeing the three of them next week when he saw, Daisy coming across the playground.**

**"John!" Uncle Rory...Your still here...!" She put her arms round his neck and hugged him...**

**"Hello,sweetheart...you can't get rid of me,I'm here until tomorrow.**

**Hugging her back...**

**John's got some jobs at the hotel he needs,help with"**

**John was looking at an envelope in Daisy's hand,**

**"What's this Missy...letter from the teacher...have you been naughty?" Joking with her.**

**"No...I'm always,good...I've been invited to a party,can I go,please?"**

**"When is it?"**

**John said taking the letter and having a look...**

**" Tomorrow at two...I think that will be okay,but what about a present for Jade is it?" **

**Looking at the invite again.**

**"I know, let's show Uncle Rory the shops on the front...I'm sure we can find something there for your friend"**

**"Kay..." **

**Daisy said taking both their hands as they walked to the arcade to the shop's.**

**She was talking away to John about what she had done at school that day...Rory thought how different,John was he came alive in Daisy's company,**

**It was what he needed would help him.**

**"Rory..."**

**"Hmm,what? Sorry John" **

**He realised that John was saying something to him.**

**"...Daisy wants to know if she can read to you tonight,for her homework...she has to read for ten minutes"**

**"Of course,Sweetheart,when we come back from picking Simon up from the station... okay?"**

**He replied.**

**"Who's Simon?" Daisy asked then.**

**"He's going to work in my office,he's helping John this weekend at the hotel,clear some rubbish,so the builders can have a look Monday see what needs to be done"**

**Rory said.**

**"What time are they coming,John?"**

**"About ten,we should have most of it cleared,Saturday,especially with you giving a hand,what we don't shift then,Simon and me can finish on Sunday"**

**He paused then.**

**"Clara wants to come and look as well,I said she could before we start,then rest in Mums office"**

**By this time they had got to the shops,Daisy wanted a box like the one John had bought for her,the first week he came to Tadchester. There was one slightly different on the shelf and one like hers.**

**"Look,Uncle Rory,you can put things,in it...**

**"So you can...tell you what Daisy, why don't we get two and then I can take one home,for Auntie Amy,a present from you"**

**Both John and Daisy seemed pleased with that idea,they also got Tom another football,as the one Rory had got was getting the worst for wear with all the use it was getting. **

**By the time,Daisy had, chosen cards and paper for the presents,it was gone four, and time to head back.**

**Rory and him had to go out again at five thirty to get Simon from the,station.**

**Clara,was sat in the lounge with her feet up when they got back.**

**"Mummy...your dressed" Daisy said to her.**

**"So I am,"**

**Looking down at the baggy top and leggings that she wore,Clara looked at her daughter.**

**"You were a long time...what have you got there?"**

**Looking at the parcels John was carrying.**

**"I'm going to a birthday party" Daisy volunteered.**

**"You are..." Clara said.**

**"...its a present for the birthday girl" John replied.**

**"Which I hope you are going to wrap,as I'm hopeless!"**

**"There's one for Auntie Amy as well!"**

**Daisy continued.**

**"Mummy will you help me wrap them? There's a football for Tom ...How do we wrap that?" **

**Looking puzzled at Rory.**

**"You don't have to Daisy,I can just give it to him" Rory replied.**

**"But it's,a present..."**

**"Sweetheart" John said to her then.**

**"Footballs are different,there too round to wrap,it would be to difficult,it's obvious what it is...**

**...Uncle Rory will tell him it's a present from you,okay?"**

**Daisy seemed satisfied with that.**

**Clara,grinned,John was looking lots better,**

**" See if you can find the sticky tape Daisy,ask Nanny,I think it's in the drawer in the kitchen,then we can make two parcels"**

**"Clara...I will take you shopping Tuesday"**

**John said...**

**"I won't be able to Monday..."**

**Looking over at Rory...**

**"I have the builders in the morning,and the appointment with Dr Barclay in the afternoon"**

**"That's okay John"she smiled. **

**"Tuesday will be fine..."**

**"Coffee before we go,Rory?"**

**John said.**

**..."Go?..."**

**"To the station...to get Simon" John looked at him.**

**"Oh,yeah,that would be great, thanks"**

**John went to the kitchen,Clara looked at Rory,**

**"Are you okay?" She asked.**

**" Just,tired..." he rubbed his eyes.**

**"Shopping?"**

**" I need some new clothes for when we visit you and Amy next week,nothing fits me"**

**She pointed to her bump.**

**"I could ask Mum to take me,if your worried John might..."**

**She looked at Rory,did he think John would get hold of some pills while they were out?**

**"Clara...he might get suspicion if you do that,we have to trust him,to a point ...keep an eye out.**

**He is seeing the Doctor the day before,maybe he will have an idea which way to go"**

**Rory looked at the door in case John came back,**

**"The thing now...is too keep him busy,Clara if you or Auntie are worried about anything...I mean ****'Anything'**** You will phone me? Even if you think it's nothing...**

**Clara nodded,**

**"I will,Rory...and I know I keep saying it..."thank you!" She got up to hugged him...**

**John came back in then...**

**" Thanks...Rory...you know it's getting harder to get out of the chair just lately..."**

**"Are you okay,sweetheart? "**

**John asked as he handed one of the cups in his hand to Rory.**

**..."I'm fine...just needed help to get up...you were busy"**

**"There's a rope in the car...am I going to need that soon to get you up?"**

**John joked...**

**"Oi...cheeky sod...John Smith,I will smack you in a minute!" **

**There was laughter in Clara's eyes as she said it.**

**Rory also smiled at their interaction...Maybe the extra antidepressants were working? Three day's until John saw Dr Barclay...how would he be?**

**A/N**

**So John seems okay for now.**

**Simon ****will**** arrive in the next chapter.**

**Visit to the hotel in the next one.**

**Please read and review.**

**Thanks. **


	64. Chapter 64

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 64**

**John and Rory were sat in the car outside the station.**

**It was only quarter to the hour,and the London train wasn't due for another fifteen minutes.**

**Rory looked over at John,**

**"What?" He said.**

**Shrugging his,shoulders,Rory said.**

**"I wondered if you are alright?"**

**"Rory.I'm not going to kick off,the minute Simon arrives"**

**"I didn't say you were"**

**"I know you are concerned,but it's not helping if you keep asking me every five minutes,how ****I am!"**

**John said then.**

**"I'm sorry for the trouble I've put you all to,but I am trying."**

**It went quiet.**

**"I felt,different when we came out of Dr Barclay's,the next day with you and Pond.I hadn't felt that way for a long time,calm even.**

**When I got home, the first hour I spent with Clara and Daisy,it was great,a different me"**

**He paused,closing his eyes, opening them again and looking over at Rory.**

**"Then I had to ****try**** and tell, what he ****did**** to me and that's,when it all went wrong again,everything collapsed! The feelings I thought had gone came rushing back"**

**Rory thought it was good that John wanted to talk about what had happened in the last twenty four hours.**

**"John,you remember that,your Dad,he tried to?**

**"Maybe,perhaps? I'm not sure?" John finished.**

**' John still wouldn't admit his Dad tried_'Rory thought.**

**The bullying,yes,but not that he tried to molest a three year old?**

**Somthing to discuss with Dr Barclay next session?**

**"John" Rory said.**

**"Do you blame,Auntie,for what happened,for leaving you with him?"**

**"I did, I don't now. I think there is more to this,which is why I need to find out,who he was,where he came from...Will you help me?"**

**"John,it goes without saying that I will. First I want you to discuss this with Dr Barclay"**

**When John pulled a face,he carried on.**

**"John you promised,talking is part of this,of you getting better,you can't say one thing then keep changing your mind.**

**Rory gently chastised him.**

**John grinning at him.**

**"Okay,okay,I'll do as I'm told! I'll talk to you both,though not now,"**

**He looked out of the window.**

**"Here's Simon"**

**John got out of the car and waved.**

**"Hey you! Over here!"**

**Simon looked over startled by the shout,as he came out of the station.**

**Rory cringed and shook his head at John,you wouldn't know it was the same man who four hours ago had been in a terrified heap on the bedroom floor.**

**John had bounced back again,he hoped it would last!**

**Simon,grinned when he saw who it was and walked over to the car.**

**"Hello,John" he said. Looking into the car,realising who was in the driving seat.**

**"Rory?"**

**"Hello,again Simon.I've been roped in as,well I'm told there is,quite lot to shift. More than for two"**

**Rory didn't want him to think he was,checking up on him before he'd even started at Master's.**

**"Well,are you getting in?" John said to him.**

**He had got back into the passenger seat.**

**Simon got into the back seat,and Rory pulled away from the station.**

**"Thanks for coming,Simon,we won't be starting until tomorrow,but you will be staying at the hotel tonight"**

**"Oh,right" he replied." I suppose that's the hotel is it?" T****hey drove past.**

**"Yes,****Mum will bring you back later,after supper at my fiancee,Clara's its where we're going now"**

**The three of us are,staying there until the top floor is ready,though I should Say the five really"**

**When Simon looked confused,Rory looked at him through the driving mirror.**

**"Clara,is pregnant with twins,and she has a little girl Daisy as well" he said explaining.**

**"Oh I see" Simon replied.**

**Rory pulled up outside the flats,and as they got out of the car the door was opened,by a lady with greying hair.**

**"Simon,this is my Mum, Mary Drew."John said introducing him.**

**Mary smiled,taking the small overnight bag from him and putting it down near the door.**

**"Hello. Come in.**

**Leave that there,until we go back to the hotel,its only a short walk,but John thought you would like to come in the car,so you could see everything"**

**"Thanks its nice to meet you,Mrs Drew" He shook her hand.**

**"Well shall we go in?"**

** They all went into the lounge,where there was a lady sat in one of the armchairs with her feet up on a stool.**

**She had long brown hair, lovely looking brown wide eyes,that seemed to light up as she looked at you.**

**"This is Clara" John said.**

**"Hello,Simon,I would get up,but he" poking John in the ribs."Won't let me!"**

**"You"_John took hold of her hand, kissing it. **

**"_ are supposed to be resting,besides,"**

**he shook his head. **

**"I forgot to bring that rope in from the car"**

**"John Smith,Cheeky so n' so!"**

**She said touching his face.**

**Simon thought, after knowing John only twenty four hours, that he liked to banter,especially with Clara,but you could tell they loved each other a great deal,like his Mum and Dad had really.**

**There was a look of sadness that crossed his face,Clara noticed.**

**"Simon,are you okay?"**

**" Sorry what do you want me to call you?"**

**"Clara is okay,it won't be Mrs Smith for a few weeks yet!" She smiled.**

**Then a little girl came into the room in dressing gown and slippers,blond hair over her shoulders.**

**She held a book in her hand.**

**"Uncle Rory,your back.**

**Will you let me read to you,now please?"**

**She stopped when she saw Simon and went slightly pink.**

**"This!" **

**Said John going over to her,putting his hands on her shoulders,looking over at Clara.**

**"Is our Daughter Daisy, this is Simon. Say hello,sweetheart"**

**"Hello" Daisy muttered shyly looking at him from under her eyelashes.**

**Going even pinker.**

**Rory was watching in high amusement from the door.**

**Did John realise ****that Daisy was smitten with Simon?**

**"I think we've got half an hour before supper,Daisy"**

**Rory came over to take the book and her hand.**

**Looking at Auntie,who nodded,**

**"let's go and sit in your room,are you coming,John?"**

**"Mum and Clara,will look after you Simon,okay?"**

**Looking at him stood uncertain. John said.**

**"You don't have to stand there till suppers ready,sit.**

**Shout when you want us Mum"**

**Clara,smiled at him,touching his hand,she liked this shy young man instantly.**

**"Pull up that stool,and tell me about yourself" she said to him.**

**"Half hour,John and then it's ready,Daisy's had her's so you can put her to bed" **

**Mary said as John and Rory went towards her room.**

**John sat on the chair near the bed,while Rory with his arms round Daisy,on the bed.**

**Like the night before,Daisy read through two pages,of her book,**

** but this time,didn't stumble over any of the words.**

**"Getting better Missy,that was very good!" John said.**

**He and Rory changed places,so John could have a cuddle before,she went to sleep.**

**"John?" she said sleepy to him.**

**"Yes,Sweetheart?"**

**"Simon,he's nice" she yawned.**

**Yes,yes,he is"**

**He replied with a look at Rory over Daisy's head,kissing it.**

**"Come on,time for sleep now,say good night to Uncle Rory"**

**"Night,Uncle Rory" She snuggled down under the duvet.**

**"Night,sleep well" Rory said kissing her on the head but Daisy was already asleep.**

**John left the night light on,and they both made their way to the door.**

**In the hallway,John looked puzzled at Rory.**

**"Daisy likes Simon?" He said to him,suddenly,as though he had just realised it.**

**"So? He's very easy to like" He replied.**

**"Don't be dense,Rory,you know what I mean"**

**"It's just a first crush of a little girl John"**

**"She's seven!" John replied.**

**"I knew I loved Amy at that age,"Rory said.**

**"Pond was the same age as you,she only wanted to climb trees and smack the other kids who beat us up!"**

**John replied.**

**"Yeah,she was a right Tomboy" Rory grinned remembering back then.**

**"Her Mum said she didn't wear a dress until she was fifteen. Daisy is a little girl,I hardly think Simon is going to take much notice of" **

**He touched John on the shoulder.**

**"And I'm afraid,mate you are,going to get lots of this as she gets older"**

**John looked startled by that,knowing he would have two girls!**

**"Oh,great!" He said under his breath.**

**"John,Rory.**

**Suppers ready!"**

**Mary called from the other room.**

**"_Coming!" Rory called back.**

**Meanwhile**

**Simon was sat on the stool next to Clara talking to her.**

**Clara said, **

**"Your going to be working at Master's with Rory?"**

**"Yeah,I'm really looking forward to it,"**

**He said.**

**"When are your babies due? Sorry.I shouldn't ask you questions like that,it's personal"**

**Going slightly red with the question.**

**"I don't mind," Clara,replied."Their due just before Christmas" She giggled.**

**"You should have been at Rory's house last week when his foster,son Tom arrived"**

**She went on to tell him about Tom asking her if there was,a baby in her tummy and,how,Rory nearly choked on his coffee by the question.**

**"We hadn't found out it was,twins.**

**Tom is very forthright with his questions.I can't wait for the question of why there is now two babies"**

**She smiled.**

**Looking forward to John or Rory explainint that.**

**You'll probably meet him sometime when Rory's,wife Amy brings him to the office"**

**" Clara." He said then.**

**"Yes"**

**"I think you and John make a very nice couple,I hope you don't mind me saying you remind me of my Mum and Dad"**

**"Really?"**

**She said wondering if that's why the look of sadness past over his face before.**

**"John told me that your parents died,I'm sorry about that"**

**She squeezed his hand.**

**"I know how hard it can be" **

**When Simon looked at her in surprise.**

**"Simon I expect you have worked it out that John's not Daisy's Dad?"**

**"I had an idea,then it's none of my business"**

**He replied.**

**"Well when I was your age,I was on my own and in fact,I've only known John for three months,for the length of this one"**

**Simon raised his eyebrows at that,but didn't comment.**

**"Some people might think all this is,so quick"**

**Pointing down to her bump.**

**"John is,the best thing that as happened for me,for Daisy. For him.**

**You might say we were made for each other"**

**Simon looked at her.**

**"My Mum and Dad met and married after only knowing each other for a week"**

**Clara,looked at him. Could understand why she could talk to him,as he could to her.**

**"Dad always said that they were,two half's of the same coin.**

**Even at eight years old,I understood it. I think that's why they died together"**

**He tried to get her out,when the fire took hold,but he couldn't"**

**"I'm sorry"**

**Clara said because she wasn't much older than Simon or had simiar circumstances,of no parents even though she had been lucky and made it up with her Dad again.**

**"My Mum died when I was seven"**

**She said,**

**" It was just me and my Dad, until I got pregnant at eighteen.**

**He disowned me for seven years.**

**Then he met John, we made up. John always,makes things better."**

**Sighing then.**

**"Not just for me,but for whoever he meets!"**

**Simon looked at her,yes he could believe it.**

**He'd only known John himself a day,he liked him,he really did.**

**There was something about him that you could count on,he wasn't sure what it was,a sadness in his eyes as well.**

**There was a ring on the door bell, and John's Mum came out of the kitchen wiping her hands,on the cloth in her hand.**

**" Think that might be your Dad,Clara,at last!"**

**Going down the hall,they heard the door open,and Mary's voice saying,**

**" Hello,Dave,your late,the boys are in with Daisy putting her to bed,Clara's in the lounge"**

**Walking into the lounge,a man with grey hair and like Clara and Daisy in looks, around the eyes and mouth,you could tell they were related.**

**"Daddy"**

**Clara said as he came over to kiss her.**

**" This is Simon"**

**He got up to shake hands with him.**

**" This is my Father,Dave Oswald,who is late!" She scolded.**

**"I think you might have missed Daisy,she might be asleep now"**

**"How do you do Sir"**

**Simon said,shaking his hand.**

**"Dave will be fine," he laughed.**

**"Sir,makes me feel old.! Even though I look it."**

**Touching Clara's hand said.**

**"Never mind, sweetpea I will see her in the morning,before I go home to Richmond"**

**"Your going home?" Clara said.**

**"Only to check the house and post.I will be back on Sunday,thought it would be best as there is no school run until Monday"**

**Mary came in then,putting a large casserole on the table that was set for six.**

**"Best call the boys.**

**When they are giggling, talking away to Daisy,they forget the time.**

**John..Rory..**

**Suppers ready!"**

**_" Coming" Rory's voice shouted back.**

**John and Rory came back into the room.**

**Mary said then.**

**" If you all want to come to the table"**

**Simon helped Clara to her feet.**

**"Thanks"**

**She smiled at him.**

**John watching them laughing,bit his lip.**

**Seeing the look on his face,Rory said,jokingly.**

**"John, he only helped her up,your not jealous are you?"**

**"Don't be daft! Course not!" He replied.**

**In his head,the voice was starting to say.**

**"Yes you are! He is going to take them away from you! I will make sure of that!"**

**'No! not listening. I'm not! I'm not!'**

**He thought.**

**"John,are,you alright mate?"**

**Rory was,speaking to him and looking at him puzzled,that he was looking slightly flushed.**

**John swallowed, then said.**

**"Yeah,I'm fine,I need the bathroom,"**

**He pointed to the door.**

**"Five minutes, you start,okay?"**

**Giving John another look,Rory said,**

**"Five minutes,John,you are,going to eat something, right? You have only had that bacon sandwich,it was five hours,ago!"**

** .I will eat,but right now.I need the,loo.!"**

**"John?"**

**Even though he had meant it as a joke before,Rory knew,then something was up with John now.**

**"Oh for FUCKS! sake,Rory"**

**He flung his hands up in the air,turning to him.**

**"Will you give me a break!" **

**John was,getting irritated now.**

**Mary who had come over to the two men, sensing there was an argument of some kind brewing. Hearing what he said to Rory.**

**Suddenly there was a slap,as Mary's hand connected with John's face.**

**"Don't you dare let me ****ever****,****ever**** hear words like that come out of your mouth or as old as,you are John Smith, I will put you,over my knee,and spank you!"**

**John with his hand to the side of his face,stared at his,Mum in shock!**

**He,went out the door,and down the hall. The front door slammed behind him.**

**' More problems'**

**Rory thought.**

**Clara,Dave and Simon who were,sat at the table,in the kitchen hadn't noticed the argument,because they had been talking between themselves.**

**Rory,put his hand on Mary's arm,she was shaking...**

**"Auntie...are you okay?" He asked.**

**"Rory...after what,John went through with Mike...I shouldn't have done that...I-I shouldn't have hit him...my child,but I was so angry...with him coming out with words like that,especially to you!"**

**Rory near the kitchen door, looked at the three at the table,who were starting to wonder what was going on, went over.**

**"Clara...John has gone outside for some air...he's had a headache all afternoon..."**

**"Is he alright,Rory?"**

**Rory raised his eyebrows at her as though to say,**

**'Please go along with it I will explain later...okay'**

**"He will be fine,the fresh air should help" he put the plates in front of Clara...**

**"If you three want to help yourselves...I will have some with John later,I'll just go check on him"**

**Turning he went out into the hall,followed by Auntie.**

**He looked out of the front door,there was no sign of John.**

**"Auntie,I will go and find him,he won't have gone far,his jacket is missing so he must have gone for a walk"**

**"...Rory will you tell him I'm sorry? I do know you both let the odd swear word slip"...**

**She rubbed at the tears on her cheeks.**

**"I've known you both as,teenagers...your no angels...I think it was hearing him swear at you, especially after what you have done for him today.I know you won't in front of Daisy or Tom"**

**Rory had gone slightly red himself saying,**

**"We shouldn't...Amy would kill me if I did in front of Tom,Clara,would...if John did with Daisy. He ****wouldn't****,you heard how he pulled up Tom's Dad that Sunday...I know we shouldn't do it.**

**He also pulled up Tom's brother the day we met him in the park..." **

**He clicked his fingers...**

**"The park,that's where he'll be...least he took his jacket,"**

**grabbing his own,he went to the door.**

**"Auntie,I will sort it...try and eat something,I will find him...bring him home!"**

**Rory went out and shut the door behind him,closing his eyes,**

**'John you might not have the headache,but I have the start of one now'**

**He rubbed his forehead as he walked towards the the path to the park which was across the road from the hotel.**

**Coming through the entrance,he could see John sat on one of the swings,he looked really miserable.**

**Going over to him...**

**"I'm not coming home,Rory"**

**He said without looking up.**

**...How did you know it was me? It could have been a mad axe man...come to get you...woe..."**

**He pushed the swing...**

**"I know your footsteps...and don't joke...not in the mood"**

**He did look up then.**

**Rory could see the red mark on his cheek where Auntie's fingers had connected.**

**"John,she didn't mean to smack you it was spur of the moment..."**

**"Because I swore at you?!"**

**John shrugged his shoulders...**

**"Perhaps,I don't care any more,why should I? I've been hurt a lot over the last thirty odd years...what's one more.I'll tell you this,I'm never going to lay a finger on Daisy...or the twins"**

**"And that's a good attitude to have,John...I wouldn't with Tom...I don't think Auntie would in normal circumstances.I'm not making excuses for her,but don't forget,she has had a lot of upset in the last twenty four hours as well"**

**" ...Mostly caused by me...maybe I shouldn't have been born?" **

**John stated then,as Rory opened his mouth to answer him,**

**" and no...I'm not going to take an overdose,cut my wrists,do away with myself,so I don't need medical help,Rory!"**

**"You are,going to talk to Dr Barclay?"**

**He did ask though.**

**"I promised you didn't I? I don't break my promises...not with out good reason.**

**Looking down again,then...**

**"Rory?"...**

**"What?...**

**"I did hear the voice again,not so long ago"**

**John said,looking up at him.**

**"That's,why I got upset...swore,at you...I'm sorry,I didn't mean to...swear at you I mean"**

**"John,you should realise by now,I never take anything personal,but the voice John...can you hear it now?"**

**Rory asked him worried.**

**John shook his head,**

**"I think it was because I was getting stressed over Simon.I sent it away again.**

**You were right,I am jealous of him,and I don't understand why"**

**John got off the swing then,pushing his fringe out of his eyes.**

**"Christ,I'm jealous of an eighteen year old kid! The thing is,I can't hate him...I like him"**

**Rory looked at him from where he sat on the other swing,**

**"John, Clara is not going to leave you for him.**

**She loves,you,I've seen how she is with you since you met..She would be devastated if she lost you...**

**...And I'm sorry mate," he finished.**

**"Sorry?" John said puzzled.**

**"Yes,I really think you need to talk to the Doctor,about this...and I will drag you there on Monday...if you won't go"**

**John sighed,**

**" I will go...I need,to find out,why I'm like this!"**

**He started to walk across,the playground.**

**"John where are you going?" He shouted after him.**

**"Home"**

**He said turning back to Rory.**

**"Think,I've got some apologising to do...to Mum,are you coming?"**

**"Yeah...just one thing..."**

**"What?"**

**"I'm stuck!"**

**John looked at Rory trying to get out of the swing where he sat.**

**He collapsed laughing...**

**"John...it's not funny,how come you didn't...and I did...John stop it! Do something! Stop laughing!"**

**"Why did you sit on that one,it's,the one for the toddlers...even Daisy wouldn't go on that one!"**

**John was,trying to pull Rory away from the seat in between laughing...**

**"God this is priceless...! Can't wait to tell Pond.."**

**"You do and I'll never forgive you..."**

**With a final pull,Rory landed on top of John on the grass...**

**"Ow! Get off...Rory..."**

**"Ha...whose laughing now,"**

**he said as he helped John to his feet.**

**They were both grinning as they walked out of the park,to Clara's flat.**

**When they got back they went into the kitchen,**

**Mary was,sat at the table.**

**She started up when she saw him... putting her arms round him.**

**"...John sweetheart...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to...do that...I-I,"**

**touching his face.**

**"Mum,it's,fine...I deserved it...I shouldn't be allowed to get away with anything,because I've been ill or my age..."**

**"No,never again! Will I lay a hand on you...that's,wrong whether your Seven or 34" she said.**

**"But you will pull me up if you think I'm doing something wrong...?"John said then.**

**"Oh definitely...you won't get away with anything!" Pulling him to her tighter...**

**"Ouf!" John said...**

**Rory grinned...**

**"I'll just go and see what the others are doing..."**

**"Thank you!" **

**Auntie mouthed over John's shoulder.**

**As he walked down the hall his mobile rang,grabbing it from his pocket.**

**"Hello..."**

**He knocked on the bedroom,door.**

**Going in as it was,empty.**

**"Hiya..Uncle Rory!" Tom's voice came over the phone...**

**"Tom...mate...and how are you?"**

**He looked at his watch...seven thirty,because he was sorting out a,John problem again,he'd forgotten to ring him and Amy.**

**" I'm okay... Auntie Amy is loading the dish washer,she said I could phone you when she comes,back,but..."**

**"You did it yourself,Oh I see"**

**he said...**

**'Clever lad' he thought.**

**"Well...I'll not tell Auntie Amy If you don't"**

**he said then... He heard Amy's voice.**

**"Tom,who are,you talking too,I never heard the phone?" **

**He heard the phone being handed over...**

**"It's me,Amy..."he said.**

**"I know that you can tell he rang me,but don't tell him off..."**

**...wasn't going to stupid face...your late!"**

**"Yeah...sorry about that...John problems again..."**

**"How is Raggedy man,is he okay?" She asked,worried.**

**Amy,he's,fine,I will tell you in a minute what's happened...I don't think he will be able to talk to Tom tonight,he's, okay...,not ill,let me talk to my son for a minute"**

**"Right" Amy paused hearing Rory call him that.**

**Rory heard the phone being handed back to Tom.**

**"It's me again...Uncle Rory,"**

**"So how are you,mate,how's school?"**

**"Great... Sean and his Mate got sent home "**

**"They did...who told you that?"**

**The headmaster did,they were beating up some other kids too"**

**Tom said matter of fact.**

**"They have to behave and leave us alone,or they will get expelled when they come back in two weeks"**

**"Well,that's good"**

**Rory said.**

**"You should have no more trouble,but don't forget..."**

**"I have to tell you or Auntie Amy if I do"**

**"Good boy...that's it"**

**"Uncle Rory,"**

**"Yes,mate?"**

**"Is Uncle John there,or is he still doing ****'solicitor'**** things?"**

**"Uncle John... is in a meeting at the moment" **

**Thinking of the making up with his Mum that was going on in the kitchen. He could hardly drag him away to talk to an eight year old!**

**"I will be home tomorrow night, tell you what,its**

**Saturday in the morning, I will get Uncle John to phone you before we go to the hotel,perhaps you will be able to talk to Daisy as,well...would you like that?"**

**"Yeah... cool..!"**

**'Cool?'**

**Rory thought,**

**'Do kids,still say that?'**

**"I will tell Uncle John you want to talk to him" he said out loud.**

**"Kay" Tom said..."love you...!"**

**"Yeah...love you too,mate,see you tomorrow,is Auntie Amy still there?"**

**"...Uncle Rory wants you "**

**He heard as the phone was handed back over.**

**"Go and clean your teeth Tom,and I'll come up and tuck you in"**

**"Rory,I want you too!"**

**He heard her say.**

**"I really miss you,Amy,but I will be home tomorrow...!"**

**"Raggedy man,is he okay"**

**she asked then.**

**"You said there was another problem?"**

**"I sorted it" **

**He went on to tell her about Auntie hitting John and how they'd both got upset.**

**"She actually smacked his face?"**

**She said to Rory.**

**"Yes,but she regretted it. Wasn't her.I think a lot of it was from what has happened to John last night. Amy,I think there is still something,but until I get him to talk to the Doctor,I don't know"**

**"Rory...I know you are doing your best. What if he needs more help than you and Dr Barclay are giving him?"**

**she asked.**

**"God! I'm hoping not...Amy if he had to go into hospital,I think he,would fight me all the way,on that. Christ!... he has been telling me he doesn't need medical help,that he won't do anything stupid,when I go home.**

**What can I do?...I have to trust him...I can't watch him all the time...! Do you want me to abandoned him?"**

**"NO Never! sweetheart...I love Raggedy Man,but I love you more..."**

**"I love you too...I will get John to ring ,Tom in the morning,we're going to the hotel after breakfast,to start moving the rubbish from the top floor.**

**Clara wants to see it even though John's told her there is nothing there...yet. We are trying to keep him busy!"**

**"And how is Clara?"Amy asked.**

**"Better...though she is a bit upset that none of her clothes fit at the moment.**

**John is going to take her shopping for new one's on Tuesday.**

**She did think he might sneak pills and hid them while their out"**

**"...And what about you...Rory,do you think he will?"Amy replied.**

**"Well,he will be seeing Dr Barclay the day before"**

**Rory pulled his hand through his fringe.**

**"So as I said to Clara I can't watch him twenty four seven. Neither can she and Auntie.**

**Think of it this way,Amy,if God forbid,he does do something stupid...I think that he knows that would be it! There would be no Clara...No wedding and no family! I must go and see who's where,sweetheart" **

**He,laughed,then.**

**"...This flat might be small,at the moment I think,Clara's In the lounge with her Dad and Simon,John's,in the kitchen with Auntie.I'm in the bedroom...it was,the only place,I could find to take,this call...God I miss my office...never thought I'd say that! Speak to you tomorrow Amy,I love you..."**

**"I love you too,stupid face,bye...!"**

**They both hung up.**

**Rory was sat on the bed,thinking...**

**'God I'm tired'**

**He was so tempted to climb in and go right to sleep! It was two days,at least that he'd last slept in a proper bed. **

**Last night in a chair,the one before in Tom's bed. Clara put her head round the door then,she looked and smiled at him.**

**"Sorry...needed to borrow your room...Amy called"**

**"That's,okay..." **

**She came in and shut the door,coming over to the bed to sit next to him.**

**Taking his hand.**

**"Rory,Mum told me what happened before,that John got upset and that she smacked his face?"**

**Rory was,looking at her as,she was,expecting some sort of explanation of why? He could hardly tell her that John was jealous of Simon? So he said,**

**"I pushed him to much over the last day or so,he took the hump,and he swore at me. Auntie,she has never smacked him before and I don't think she,will again it was just the upset and shock, she apologised"**

**"Rory...I'm so sorry..."she said.**

**"Why? It's not your fault," **

**he shrugged.**

**"Clara,when we,were teenager's, we got many a telling off from Auntie,especially for swearing"**

**When she looked at him,with raised eyebrows,he carried on...**

**"... I know,I know,we shouldn't do it..."**

**"Rory,your blokes,and I think John would make a ****saint**** swear at times.**

**I'm no Angel...in fact I've,only known John a while, told him too ****'fuck ****off'**** twice already,and,that's on a good day!"**

**Rory had been half nodding off,but realising what she had said.**

**"CLARA!"**

**"Oh your face!"**

**She giggled at him.**

**"Look,as long as you don't do it in front of Tom or Daisy.I think even Amy would turn a blind eye. Rory?"**

**"Hmm...what?" **

**He looked over at her with tired eyes.**

**"You look knackered,why don't you lie down here for a while?" **

**She patted the bed.**

**"Clara,"**

**He pointed.**

**"If I lie down there,I won't wake up again till morning"**

**"...so I will sleep on the sofa,tonight"**

**"Oh,no you don't!" **

**Rory sat up quickly before he sucomed to temptation.**

**"One more night on the sofa won't hurt me,besides I don't think John would be very pleased you sleeping on the sofa..."**

**"Well,go back to the hotel with Mum and Simon,plenty of beds,there"**

**"...No..." **

**Rory was adamant,**

**"I know I said I would go home tomorrow,but I want to see how,he is tonight,my mind will be at rest.**

**If anything does go wrong,not that it will"**

**He looked over at her...**

**"We can plan what to do, next okay?"**

**Clara sighed.**

**"Alright you win,It's nearly nine,**

**Mum will be going soon,promise me you will get some sleep,when they've gone? Rory you need to rest,I worry...how long you can carry on like this"**

**"Clara...I'm fine..."**

**He got up, then and nearly went flat on his,face. Clara,grabbed at him...**

**"Well, maybe not..."**

**He sat down again... the colour was coming back to to his,face,which had gone chalk white.**

**"Just give me a minute"**

**Putting his,hand on Clara's because he had noticed the worried look on her face.**

**"I will be okay...need something to eat,then a nights sleep,Clara,don't tell Auntie...John...they will only worry...please"**

**Clara looked at him shaking her head then.**

**"...Okay,only if you promise to do as your told, eat and then go to bed when Mum takes Simon back to the hotel? Honestly,Rory, sometimes your as bad as John"**

**Rory said,**

**"I promise,really hungry now,and I think it's,time John ate too,I'll go get him warm up the casserole, Auntie left,cross my heart"**

**With a sign across his chest smiling at her.**

**She got up off the bed... with a push up from Rory.**

**"I'll tell Mum to warm up your supper,then I'll find John and get him to sit down in the kitchen and eat..."**

**She walked over to the door,looking back at him.**

**"You too...No arguments,right?"**

**"Oh,yes Miss! "**

**He said.**

**"I wouldn't dare...or you'll tell Amy...right?"**

**"...You bet I would...kitchen,ten minutes,I'll find John"**

**Clara smiled as she went out the door.**

**Rory grinned as Clara left,he was feeling slightly better but he did need food badly,and definitely... coffee!**

**He got up and made his,way to the kitchen.**

**Auntie was,sat at the table,she looked up when Rory came in.**

**"Hello" she said to him.**

**"Auntie as,Clara...?"he started to say.**

**She pointed to the oven...**

**"I kept it hot and there Is plenty of crusty bread and butter... I'll make some coffee." **

**She got up to put the kettle on.**

**"...Clara's gone to get John,he's watching TV with Dave and Simon,"**

**she said over her shoulder...**

**Rory said to her then,**

**"Did you talk?" **

**He looked away.**

**"...Sorry... maybe that's,between you and John?"**

**Mary looked at the door,in case Clara came back in with John.**

**"Rory...yes we did,and thank you for what you did. Not just today,but what you,did for him when he was little. I know I shouldn't have smacked him...and I will not do it again" **

**She looked at him then...tears,in her eyes.**

**"..I-I won't always be here for him...life doesn't work like that...and I know I lost out on the first years of his life... a lot of which was my fault..."**

**"Auntie...No it wasn't!" **

**Rory stated then.**

**"Look... He ****is**** my best friend,and I will make sure if,anything happens,not that it will,that he, Clara and the children are looked after"**

**Rory put his hand on hers, as she sat down next to him at the table.**

**"He has asked Amy and me to be Guardians for the kids...with yours and Dave's guidance"**

**Looking at her...**

**"No one knows the future,Auntie so I'm going to sort out all the legal paperwork for John and the hotel ... finances ect...I take it,John has discussed this with you?"**

**"Yes...and I'm quite happy for you to go ahead,with what John wants...you know how it works as well as I do,Rory"**

**"As an ex solicitor myself,I...know you can do,most of it now... change the wording once their married...?"**

**Rory nodded then,**

**"John has,asked me to put the paper work together for next week,when they come to visit.**

**you can come down as,well? We'll sort out a day,I will need your three signatures,for joint ownership...**

**Mary said then,**

**"He also wants to legally adopt Daisy,when their married,do you think there will be any problems with Clara's ex?"**

**"Auntie...you know as well as I do that he could contest it,we will have to wait and see what he says to Clara.**

**If he gets in touch"**

**Suddenly,they both heard John's voice in the hall outside the kitchen...**

**"...I was watching the film,Clara...I don't have to eat,now..."**

**"Yes,you do...! If I have to do as I'm told...so do you.**

**John Smith...stop acting like a five year old!"**

**"But...Clara..."**

**Rory could almost see the petulant look on John's face,he raised an eyebrow at Auntie.**

**She was,putting the casserole dish out on the table as Clara pushed John into the kitchen ahead of her,and into one of the chairs at the table.**

**"Sit down John and eat!"**

**John was about to open his mouth again to argue,but closed it as his Mum put a plate in front of him with a warning look.**

**"I'll get Dave and Simon,tell them it's time to head back to the hotel. You young man had better eat some of that..."**

**With another look at John.**

**"...Yes,Mum..."**

**John sighed,as Mary started to walk towards,the door followed by Clara,who said.**

**"Going to say goodbye to my Dad,and Simon"**

**"...Fine.."John said...pushing his food around the plate,after eating only two mouthfuls.**

**Rory shook his head at him,as he had cleared his plate and was helping himself to another plateful.**

**"You can have this if your that hungry"**

**John pushed his plate towards Rory.**

**"No...come on,John you promised...eat..." **

**Rory said back to him.**

**John pulled a face...**

**"Do I have too? I've had two mouthfuls...I'm really not hungry...I'll be sick again...!"**

**"John...are you sure the voice is not back...telling you what you want to hear?"**

**Rory said.**

**"...No! not hungry...you can't make me!"**

**John threw the plate towards Rory,where,it missed and ended up on the floor.**

**He then rushed out the room,nearly knocking Clara,who was coming back in,over as he went.**

**"John...! What the hell!...Clara,are you okay,sweetheart?"**

**Rory rushed over to steady her.**

**"I'm fine...what's,the matter,with John ?"**

**"Not sure..."**

**They both heard a,door slam which sounded like the bathroom.**

**"He's going to wake Daisy at this rate,Auntie is she still here?"**

**"No they've gone,that's,what I came to tell John,that Mum will take Daisy to her party tomorrow.**

**She'll see you both at the hotel in the morning,but I never expected... "**

**she pointed pausing...**

**"He didn't even see me...is he alright,Rory?"**

**"I think he's got a bag of some kind on...I hope the bathroom door isn't locked this time"**

**"What!"**

**Clara replied,**

**"You think he would,do that again? What he did at your house...oh Rory!..what's,happening to him,why's he like this?"**

**Rory pulled his hand through his fringe,**

**"Clara...I don't know... I will try and talk to him,if he'll open the door..."**

**Rory went to the bathroom and knocked lightly...**

**"John?" he said quietly...**

**There,was no answer... he tried again...**

**"John,look,mate,I thought we'd sorted this...do you want me to go home...leave you to it? I will unless you open this door!"**

**Rory tried the door,it wasn't locked.**

**'Well that's a good sign' he thought.**

**Knocking on the door again as he went,**

**"John,I'm coming in...we need to talk,whether you want to or not?"**

**Going in,John was sat on the edge of the bath.**

**"John,are you going to talk to me,or do I go home and leave you to it?" Rory repeated the question.**

**John's head shot up then,there was pure panic in his eyes...**

**"You will anyway...everybody leaves,even Clara...I'm going to have no one soon...So what's the ****bloody**** point!?"**

**"John,let's go into the lounge,we are going to talk...come on..."**

**Rory pulled him up,pushing him out of the door,towards the lounge and into one of the armchairs,there.**

**"Right!" he said.**

**"Tell,me what's going on,what is going through John Smith's head. **

**Why do you think we are all going to leave you?"**

**John just stared at him,at first.**

**Then it was like a floodgate had opened!**

**"I shouldn't rely on anyone. Clara will leave me,take Daisy,the twins.**

**Why would she want to stay with someone who is...a..a nut job,when she could have someone younger..."**

**He paused then...**

**"You and Amy...have your own lives...I understand that, you must be getting really sick of me,Rory.**

**Everytime something goes wrong for me,you have to drop everything and charge to the rescue...it shouldn't have to be like that!"**

**He sat on the edge of the chair, throwing his hands up...**

**..."Mum,she left me once,what's,to say she won't again.**

**if she doesn't get fed up with the arguments I keep having...S-she will d-die and leave m-me..."**

**John was starting to get upset...getting up he went over to the window,wiping his eyes as he went.**

**"That's why I'm hard,to love,so if you want to go back to Amy..."**

**he shrugged his shoulders.**

**" Not going to stop you!"**

**Rory looked over at his back...**

**'Mike Smith...what have you done to this man,instead of him getting better,every day his confidence was,taking a nose dive!'**

**"John"**

**he said then to him.**

**"I know,I- we keep saying this,but we're here because we all want to not because it its a chore or a duty"**

**"Really?..."**

**"Yes really...in fact,I would have 'buggered' off home to Amy,or left you to it weeks ago if that had been the case"**

**He walked over to John then,turning him round to face him.**

**"Also I told you earlier when we were in the park.**

**Clara loves,you,but if you are,going to be jealous over every man she,talks to or smiles at..then I'm sorry you will lose her"**

**He paused then...**

**"Daisy thinks the sun shines out of your backside! Though I don't know,why!"**

**"Oi! " **

**John said smiling...**

**"Watch it !"**

**"See...you can crack a smile,when you want to..."**

**Rory said back to him.**

**" ...Look, John come on sit back down,we need to finish talking"**

**John sat back down in the armchair,Rory facing him on the sofa.**

**"Now,no one is going anywhere,or leaving you"**

**"...But you are,tomorrow,going home to Amy and Tom" John replied.**

**"Yes,if you need me,John I will come back!**

**... Yesterday,you wanted to get on with things,**

**and you can't use me as,an emotional crutch for the rest of your life! Your Mum and Clara will be here for you and I'm on the end of a phone,if you ****really**** need me,I'll come"**

**He leaned over touched John on his hand.**

**"John...your life is going to be brilliant,but you have to make it that way...take your meds...talk to Dr Barclay.I told you weeks back,that you had the right one in Clara. Daisy and the twins were an added bonus"**

**John looked over at him...**

**"Why am I getting depressing thoughts,though,Rory...that I'm going to lose every one,especially,Mum!"**

**"That's,part of your illness John,this is why you need to speak to the Doctor. In the mean time,as I said...you have to keep busy...try not to think the dark thoughts..."**

**"But...Mum...!"John started to say.**

**"John...No one knows the future,it's not set in stone!" Rory said.**

**"You could have your Mum with you for another twenty years or more,all that you are,doing is upsetting her as well as yourself...Look promise me you will try?"**

**John,who had been looking down at the ground,looked up at Rory then.**

**"Okay,I will try...**

**Clara came in balancing a tray on her bump as,she pushed the door open with her back.**

**"I've cleaned up the mess from the kitchen floor,thought you might both like a drink"**

**she said.**

**John rushed over to take it from her...**

**"Sweetheart you shouldn't be doing that!"**

**He looked over at Rory,**

**"Oh my God,when I threw my dinner at you,I pushed you out of the way"**

**Looking then at Clara,as he put the tray down on the coffee table,touching her face.**

**"I'm so sorry...Clara...I-I didn't hurt you,did I-I didn't mean t-to...C-Clara"**

**John was starting to get upset again.**

**Rory came over then,as John was shaking...**

**"John,she's fine,sit down have this Coffee,calm down.**

**Clara is okay...aren't you?"**

**Looking over at her,she nodded,then sitting down next to John on the sofa said,**

**"John,it's alright I know you were upset,you won't do it again?"**

**"But...the b- babies,I could have h-hurt you a-all"**

**John looked between the two of them,as he sipped at the coffee.**

**"John, everyone is fine"**

**Rory said to him.**

**"And I think,it's time you were both in bed when you've drunk that...get some rest? We have got a long day at the hotel tomorrow"**

**He looked at Clara...**

**"All of us..."**

**"Rory..."**

**"What,John?"**

**"I'm sorry,I threw my dinner at you"**

**"Well...you missed!"**

**"Will you tell Mum?"**

**"Not if you,go to bed now!"**

**'Please John' he thought**

**'Go to bed...really need to lie down'**

**Clara,looked at the two men, John was looking tired,but Rory was looking like a,white washed wall!**

**"John,you go on,I'll just get some water from the kitchen," **

**as Rory helped her to her feet.**

**"I can do that,"**

**John said then.**

**"No it's,fine,you go sweetheart,I can do it myself,I'll be five minutes" **

**She kissed him.**

**John got up and walked across the room,he paused at the door. Turning back said to Rory.**

**"Thanks,mate...I'm sorry to be so much trouble"**

**John...whatever happens tomorrow,in the next week's. I'll help you get there...sleep well,mate!"**

**The door closed behind him.**

**Rory let a sigh out...**

**She,looked over at Rory...**

**"Are,you okay? Thanks,for talking to him...again"**

**"Clara,I think he,took what I said to heart we,shall have to see,now it's,time,you went as well...because if I don't lie down soon...I'm going to fall down"**

**When she looked at him, said,**

**"Figure of speech,I'm okay,but need my bed as you do" **

**Going into the kitchen,got her a glass of water,handing it too her,kissed her on the forehead.**

**"Sleep well,Clara,it should be okay,shout me if you need me for anything...?"**

**Clara nodded,walking to the door,she smiled and then shut it behind her.**

**Rory made up the sofa,least he got that tonight,could lie down...No stiff neck...**

**Turning out the light,he hoped and prayed that John would be okay tomorrow and he would be back in his own bed, with Amy and Tom.**

**By ten thirty,they were all sound asleep.**

**A/N**

**So John is still having some problems.**

**Will Rory ever get home to Amy and Tom?**

**Visit to the hotel.**

**There will be a shock for one of them.**

**But who?**

**Please read and review**

**Chapter 65 soon.**


	65. Chapter 65

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 65**

**The next morning,John woke at seven. Clara was still sleeping. He remembered the horrible day yesterday...the trouble he made for them all especially Rory.**

**Getting up, John quietly dressed,and made his,way out of the room.**

**Looking into the lounge,Rory was still fast asleep on his,stomach,pillow over his head. Smiling. Even,when they were ****teenagers**** he use to sleep in some very funny positions! **

**Shutting the door,he grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the front door.**

**He wanted to be on his own for a while... needed to think about what he and Rory had talked about last night. Heading for the park,sitting on the swing,and grinning at the one Rory had got his,bottom stuck on! Pushing at it with his foot.**

**Food for thought... it was right what Rory said,he couldn't lean on him for the rest of his,life...though he would help him,he knew,if he needed it! As he would if it were,the,other way,round... for him,for Amy.**

**He was 34 years,old for God sakes! About to get married,become a Father in six months time ...Clara...course she loved him...problems and all! What did it matter about the age difference? Sometimes she,seemed more mature than him...after all age,was only a number...right? How could he have thought Simon a,rival...that seemed silly now as well!**

**Mum...well he hoped as Rory said,that she had many more years,with him... had ****'forgiven'**** her for leaving him with ****Mike ****Smith****...that was how he thought of him now...not ****Daddy**** any more. Though did still want to find,out who he was,where he came from,if only for the closure of it all!**

**The slap she had given him had brought him to his,senses.**

**At the time it had hurt! Not just in the physical sense...more the shock,especially when she had threatened to spank him as well. The way he was behaving,he would have deserved it! Would have been nothing like the ones,he got at three years,old,some of which he remembered now...and were for things,he hadn't done. One of the reasons,he needed to find out who 'Mike Smith' was. To try and find out why?**

**"John?" **

**Rory's voice said suddenly.**

**"Hmm! What?"**

**John opened his eyes,he had,been sat musing on the swing for nearly half an hour.**

**"What are you doing? Clara is going frantic because you disappeared.I guessed you might be here" **

**Rory looked at him puzzled.**

**"Rory,I'm fine,I wanted to be on my own For a while. Had,thinking to do, about what we talked about last night"**

**John saw the worry in his eyes.**

**"Rory,I confessed to you yesterday,that I felt depressed at times,but you are going to have to trust me to a point.I don't mean about the pills I understand that part,I can't be trusted for a time...over it...**

**...You can't tie me up in the flat until you come back,or even expect Mum and Clara to watch me every five minutes.I'm sorry I should have left a note for her.**

**If I was going to top myself, would hardly do it in the middle of the kids playground...think of the mess!"**

**"John...!"**

**John held his hands up. Grinning...**

**"...I was joking!"**

**"It wasn't funny..."**

**Rory had been in a lovely sleep,even on the sofa,when Clara had shook him awake,frantic because John had gone missing! He hadn't done that since before Sue's funeral,but because of the state of his mind in the last few days,Rory didn't want to leave it to chance.**

**He knew where he would be... the park...**

**"Sorry...look " **

**He held his wrists up to him.**

**"Do you want to put the cuffs back on then...?"**

**Rory who had been stood in front of John with his,arms folded,absolutely furious at being woken and having to go out and look for him. Suddenly grinned back at him.**

**"No cuffs.." he said pointing at him.**

**"...But if you do this again...John I ****will**** tie you up in the flat,now are you ready to come back home?"**

**"Don't you want a swing first?" **

**John said pointing to the toddler one next to the one he was sat on.**

**"...Don't push it John...! And that pun wasn't intended"**

**John had opened his mouth to say something cheeky back to him.**

**"Come on I need coffee and you I hope are going to eat something,without throwing it at me?"**

**Rory turned and started to walk back towards the park gate,John got up off the swing and followed.**

**They were back at the flat in ten minutes.**

**Clara was sat at the kitchen table,with a cup of tea in front of her,she struggled to her feet.**

**"John...oh thank God..."**

**"I found him in the park,told you he,would be there, he's okay"**

**Rory said to her.**

**"Sweetheart,I'm sorry to have frightened you,I'm so stupid...I didn't think...I needed sometime to think things through,I should have left you a note!"**

**Clara,put her arms,round him,he noticed she was shaking slightly...as she touch his face...**

**"I know your not five,John"**

**" Only acts,as though he is!"**

**Rory said,as he went past them both to put the kettle on.**

**"Oi...six at least!" John Said.**

**..."please don't do that again..."Clara continued.**

**"Besides if he does I've threatened to tie him up...right...John?"**

**John stuck his tongue out at him...**

**Sitting down at the table,Rory put a coffee in front of him.**

**"I thought we could go to the hotel about eleven"**

**John said then.**

**"Good,give me a chance to get Daisy ready" Clara replied.**

**"Daisy?" **

**"Mum is going to take her too the party from there,while you three are busy...don't worry I will sit with her in mums office,once you have showed me the top floor John...feet up I promise"**

**"I'm going to getting dressed,get Daisy up...**

**...See if you can behave for a while John..."**

**She kissed him...**

**By now it was half eight.**

**Rory put a plate of toast in front of him.**

**"What's that!**

**"...it's toast,which I want you to eat,John"**

**he said.**

**"What...all of it..."**

**"It's two slices... eat it...or I will phone your Mum and tell her you threw your dinner at me last night..."**

**"You wouldn't"... **

**John said looking at him.**

**"Try me!" **

**Rory said with a look that booked no nonsense.**

**"Okay ...okay...one slice...?"**

**"Both John..."**

**"One and a half...?"**

**"John, eat the dam toast!"**

**"...Oh right...why didn't you just say so,Rory...!"and John started to eat..."**

**Rory knew then that he had been ****'had'****...John was winding him up...again...**

**About half past nine,Rory's mobile rang,he answered saying...**

**"Hello...Tom,mate...how are you today? Yes,he is...wants,to speak to you" **

**Handing the phone over too John.**

**John took the phone from Rory saying,**

**"Who is this...?"**

**Winking at Rory.**

**"It's me,Tom,Uncle John "**

**Tom's voice came over the speaker on Rory's phone.**

**"Do I know a,Tom...Tom who?"**

**Rory shook his,head at him.**

**"Don't tease John"**

**"Have you finished your solicitor things,Uncle John? Uncle Rory said you were having a meeting"**

**Tom asked him then. **

**"I was... Meeting?" **

**Looking at Rory in puzzlement.**

**"When you were in with your Mum yesterday"**

**Rory said quietly.**

**"Oh,right...Yes,I have finished my solicitor things Tom"**

**he said.**

**"And how's things with you mate?"**

**"It's great...No school today,I'm going shopping with Auntie Amy. Going to buy things,for a picnic tomorrow.****Uncle**** Rory is taking us to the seaside in his car..."**

**"Is he..."**

**John said,with a look at,Rory.**

**..."and going to have a Barbecue next weekend,when you and Auntie Clara come... going to buy chicken legs,sausages and hamburgers...do you know how to cook hamburgers...Uncle John?"**

**"Knows how to burn them..." Rory muttered.**

**Remembering the last time John was let loose near a barbecue.**

**..is Daisy there? "Tom asked then.**

**John was about to say no,when Clara came back in holding Daisy by the hand.**

**"Hello,Sweetheart "**

**he said...**

**Would you like to talk to Tom?"**

**Holding the phone to her...**

**Clara and Rory went into the lounge,leaving them both giggling to Tom on Rory's phone.**

**"Well,he seems to be okay"**

**Clara,said to him.**

**"Apart from the scare he gave us earlier"**

**" I think that's,just John,he doesn't always think things through before he does something"**

**Rory said.**

**"Though I will admit he's back to his usual wind up self" **

**Telling her how he was in the park,and the toast.**

**"I thought he was back to not eating again until,he ate both slices without a mummer"**

**He looked over at her.**

**"Clara,I think he is really trying,with the,help of his med's, but he could..."**

**"I know,Rory...Mum and me are under no illusions about his, behaviour,and will keep watch. **

**...We will cope...if he does..."**

**..."You will phone me if your worried about anything at all?" Rory finished.**

**..."Yes..."**

**John came back into the room then holding Daisy by the hand.**

**He gave Rory his phone back.**

**"Tom's really looking forward to next week,and the barbeque," John said.**

**"No,John you are not going near it" Rory said,putting it back in his pocket.**

**"The last time, he cremated the hamburgers,and had no eyebrows for a month! No way!"**

**"Aw..! Spoilsport! "John pulled a face.**

**"Going to put somethings in the car,we'll need,I've arranged for a large skip to be delivered to the hotel for what we shift..."**

**"Right,John we'll be ready to go in half an hour"**

**Rory replied.**

**"See you outside then"**

**"Daisy,have you got your present and card for Jade?"**

**Clara asked her daughter.**

**"Nanny is going to take you to the party later..."**

**"John's put it in the car. Mummy?"**

**"Yes,sweetheart...**

**"Can,I see upstairs,at the hotel as well?"**

**"I should think it will be alright, John said...there won't be much to see yet,but we can have a look" She hugged her daughter in excitement.**

**"Are we ready to go?"**

**Rory said then.**

**It's,a little early you know,how impatient,he can be...if a thing could be done yesterday,John would do it!"**

**Helping Clara,to her feet,they both went outside to the car.**

**John was sat in the passenger seat,**

**"There you are! " **

**he said,but he was smiling.**

**"Thought you weren't coming"**

**Clara and Daisy got into the back as Rory got into the driving seat.**

**"What's,the rush,John,you said eleven,it's only quarter to now..."**

**Pulling away from the flats.**

**"It's five minutes to the hotel,we're only going in the car,because of the stuff we need and you didn't want Clara,to walk"**

**"I know...but the sooner we start shifting the rubbish,the quicker its,ready for the builder's to come in"**

**"John,their not coming till Monday"**

**..."So I've only got you until tonight,so I need to make the most of your Labour..." John said to him tongue in cheek.**

**"Oi!" Rory said..."I'd go now if I didn't feel sorry for Simon..."**

**By now they were at the hotel,John got out of the car...**

**"Come on,Daisy,let's go and tell Nanny we're here"**

**Taking Daisy by the hand,he headed into reception.**

**"We can come back out for the stuff in the boot in a while" **

**Rory said as,he helped Clara out the back.**

**Following John and Daisy in,he noticed that Kate,was on duty...**

**'Oh bloody hell' he thought...**

**Clara grinned as she passed him,noticing his face.**

**"Don't worry,Rory...John and me won't let you be on your own,today,so I think your safe!"**

**" Hello,Clara...how are you,seems an age since I've seen you..." **

**Kate said to her as she came up to the desk.**

**"Huge... and there still five months to go...which way did John go...?"**

**..."He took Daisy into his Mum's office...Hello, Rory...nice too see you again too..."**

**"Hello,K-Kate"...Rory said going red, as he hurried past following Clara into the office.**

**Shutting the door behind him quickly,with his back against it...**

**John looked over.**

**Daisy was was looking at the photo albums left out on the table near the window with Auntie.**

**"I don't think she'll jump you today,Rory,not unless she gets,you alone..."**

**"It's not funny,John..." Rory said.**

**"I'd forgotten all about her..."**

**Auntie came over,then.**

**"Don't worry Rory,she's only on duty until twelve today,Molly takes,over then"**

**"Oh thank the Lord for that!"**

**Rory said sighing with relief as he sat down on the sofa,next to Clara...**

**"...Where's Simon?" **

**"In the kitchen with Dave...they were having breakfast,but I expect they'll have finished by now" **

**She looked over at John who was showing Daisy the photographs still.**

**"He seems a lot better today,"**

**"He is,though he did go missing for an hour this morning" **

**Rory replied.**

**"...He did...! **

**"Auntie looked at him in panic"**

**"It was okay,he went to the park like yesterday,wanted to be on his own.I had a good chat with him,last night because he was having a slight panic attack"**

**Rory was telling her what and how John had been then.**

**"I think he is,coping...Auntie,the meds,are,helping,if you are,worried...I will..."**

**"No,Rory you need to go back to Amy...Besides,you are taking him to see Dr Barclay on Monday...and next Friday they are coming to see Amy and you for two weeks,yes?"**

**She patted his hand...**

**"We will cope,one day at a time...right?"**

**Rory nodded then,looking up as John came over,**

**"Mum...?"**

**"Yes,John..."**

**Clara and Daisy want to see upstairs,so I'm going to take them...okay?"**

**Alright,sweetheart,then come back down to the kitchen,and I'll give you all lunch before you start. I will take Daisy to her party then...you will eat something...a sandwich...John ?"**

**"Of course...are you coming Rory?" He said then,**

**"I think the coasts,clear..it's,twelve. ****Molly should be in by now!"**

**Rory pulled his tongue out at him...but followed him out to the reception.**

**The dark haired Molly, was,updating the computer as they went passed.**

**"Hello,Molly... " **

**John said as he and Daisy went by.**

**"John...Clara...your up!"**

**She came round the desk to hug her...out of the two,Clara had more of a close friendship with Molly than Kate.**

**"It's,so lovely to see,you,your..."**

**Holding her away from her to look.**

**..." the size of house...yes,I know..."**

**Clara was saying.**

**"I was going to say glowing..."**

**She looked over at Rory who was,stood next to Clara.**

**"This is,John's friend Rory..." **

**Clara introduced him.**

**"Hello..."**

**"Hello...Rory nice to meet you..."**

**she said shaking his hand.**

** letting go and carried on talking to Clara...He let out the breath he had been holding... walking over to John who was waiting for the lift to come down from the top floor.**

**"See... your not Gods,gift to all women"**

**John said.**

**"Don't want to be,I only want Amy,still don't think it's very funny John"**

**"Clara,are you coming?" **

**John called as the lift arrived.**

**"...Women...don't know,what they find to talk about..."**

**"Yes...okay...we'll finish this,later,Molly...chat on the desk...?"**

**Clara walked over to the other three who were waiting for her inside,the lift.**

**As it went up to the top floor,John said,**

**"I thought you were going to put your feet up...in the office?"**

**"...and I will,but in reception..."**

**Clara,said,to him...**

**" I won't be working,don't worry...I will just chat to Molly in between the check outs..."**

**John folded his arms,as the lift reached the top floor.**

**"Well,alright,but if I see you anywhere near a guest Clara Oswald...I will lock you in the office"**

**Walking past John as she got off the lift said as she touched his face.**

**"You won't,because unlike you John Smith,I ****do**** as I'm told!"**

**John looked at Rory then as though to say,'**

**'Well...that's open to debate'**

**Rory shook his head, as he followed the pair of them off the lift holding Daisy by the hand.**

**The space was open plan as John had said,and ran the whole length of the hotel.**

**The middle and up some of the side wall's were boxes and crates,filled with God knows,what!**

**There was also what looked like the old fashioned cabin trunks from years ago.**

**John was showing Rory the floor plan,and explaining how the different rooms would be set out once all the rubbish was cleared.**

**Clara looked over at the cabin trunks in one corner... near the far window,which was near the front of there was two of them.**

**John walked,over to her as she ran her hands over them.**

**" Clara...it's filthy,you are going to get covered in the dust...in fact I don't want anything moved until you and Daisy are both downstairs,out of the way" **

**he said.**

**"I've got overalls and face masks for the three of us once we start moving this stuff"**

**"...John,these look good quality..." she said,**

**"It would be a shame to throw them in the skip...with a good clean up,they could be used for storage...there all the go now..."**

**"Really...are you sure,you want them?"**

**Rory came over then,he had been looking at the plans with Daisy,showing her where her bedroom was going to be. John had spread it out on an old table,so they all could have a look.**

**"I think the locks,are rusted,"he said l****ooking at them.**

**"But they could be broken off and new ones put on,Clara's right...you would pay a fortune for these in a antique shop"**

**"Well if that's,what you want,you shall have them..."John said then.**

**"We'll shift them first,break the locks open,as they will probably need a good airing as well as cleaning!"**

**"Come and see,Mummy..." **

**Daisy called excitedly. Clara walked over to the table to look at the plans with her daughter.**

**"This is my room...which is going to be over that way..."**

**She pointed in the general direction of the front of the hotel,towards,the Windows.**

**"...and the babies can have theirs next door..."**

**John walked over then,as Clara looked at the plans...**

**" I told you huge! There will be two spare guest bedrooms as well. Mum will still have her own space downstairs,it just needs ****modernising****.Just think four bathrooms...No more queuing in the mornings...No fighting as too who's first!"**

**John put his,arms round Clara.**

**Rory watched them both...seeing how animated John was.**

**If only they could get him over the next week's, get these alterations done. Then, when they were settled in... could look forward to the wedding... and the babies arriving! This could be the making of John,if only he would let it!**

**"Right...let's,all go back downstairs" he said.**

**"Auntie will have lunch, ready"**

**"I'm starving..."**

**John said as he gave Clara a,final kiss...**

**"Come on ...Daisy,"**

**taking her hand as they both headed to the lift..."**

**Rory looked at Clara...**

**"Blimey...he actually wants to eat?"**

**...Rory,do you think he...?"**

**"Clara,let's see how things go...I don't want to disillusion you,but..."**

**"We've thought he was,getting better before and he went back in on himself again"**

**she finished.**

**Rory nodded saying,**

**" maybe this time?"**

**"Are you two coming or not?" John was getting inpatient.**

**"Okay John," Rory replied.**

**They took the lift down to the next floor and headed for the living area that was his Mum's.**

**"There you are" Mary said. She was sat in the kitchen/dining area with Dave and Simon.**

**"Grandad!"Daisy ran over too him.**

**"Hello Daisy May just in time..."**

**he said as he hugged her.**

**"I've got to go,in a little while, home to Richmond"**

**"...Do you have too...will you be back soon?"**

**"I'll be back in time to take you to school on Monday,bet you won't even miss me. I heard that your going to a party this,afternoon?"**

**"Yes..." **

**Clara said...**

**..." and I think you and John had better go and wash hands and your face, Madam before we eat...go on,the pair of you" Clara,scolded,**

**as John opened his mouth to protest.**

**"Go...Rory and me will be right behind you...sorry Mum...but it is,really dusty up there!"**

**John and Daisy left to use the bathroom.**

**Rory looked at his,hands... they were filthy...**

**"I see what you mean..."**

**"You can use the sink if you like Rory"**

**Auntie said**

**"There is liquid soap on the side,if you and Clara want to wash yours,instead of waiting..."**

**"Go ahead,Clara,you go first..."**

**Rory said.**

**"Hello Simon,how,are you,sleep well?"**

**"Yes,thanks,Rory...just waiting to see what John and you want me to do..."**

**" We'll have something to eat and then start,don't worry there will be plenty for you to do from what John as just shown me upstairs"**

**...but I only finished breakfast two hours,ago,"**

**Simon said.**

**"Oh,I'm sure you can manage a sandwich"**

**Rory said,as he moved over to take his,turn at the sink.**

**"...your a,growing lad!"**

**He said over his shoulder.**

**John came back then,**

**"I've left Daisy drawing in the lounge,Mum"he said.**

**" She wants Orange juice and jammy Dodgers,I think she will eat at the party?"**

**"Expect so,"**

**Clara said as he sat down at the table next to her. She put two sandwiches on a plate in front of him,which John made short work of,then ate three Jammy Dogers as well.**

**Rory,put a coffee in front of him**

**"Thanks...Simon,I've got some overalls and a face mask for you...if you want to put them on?" Pointing to the chair next to him.**

**"Yeah okay,John,then I'll meet you upstairs"**

**"Right,see you up there..."**

**Mary came back into the kitchen then with Daisy and Clara...who they had been getting ready to go to her party.**

**"We're going now,John,Dave is going to drop us off on his way home,I will walk back,see you soon..."**

**"Mum? I could take you..."**

**"John there's no need,it's ten minutes,Dave's only taking us because he's going that way"**

**Dave his,head round the door,**

**"Ready...Mary...see you Monday,John..."**

**"Bye,Dave..."**

**he kissed Daisy on the head.**

**"See you later,Missy...have a good time"**

**"Bye John...Uncle Rory"**

**She said,as she skipped out following Dave and Mary...**

**"John I'm going to sit and chat to Molly now...I will go in Mums,office if I get tired and want a nap" Clara ****said before he could say anything to her.**

**"Okay,sweetheart"**

**putting his,arms round her and kissing her lips...then...**

**Whispered..."I'll be checking up on you later...the three of you..."**

**As he touched her bump.**

**Rory came back in then,he had been to change into the overalls...putting the dust mask over his face as Clara went past him to go down to reception. She giggled at him.**

**"Oh,yes...that's,a great improvement,Rory!"**

**He took the mask off again...**

**"Well it was until he took it off!" **

**John said.**

**"Oi!... are we going to get started or what"**

**Rory said to him.**

**"Okay, okay...I'll just go and put on the overalls...see you upstairs..."**

**John replied.**

**Upstairs...**

**The three men looked at the piles of boxes,crates,and other junk that was stacked from floor to ceiling,the length of the building...**

**"Well!" **

**John said looking at Rory,**

**It's not going to get done by us standing here staring at it! Got to start somewhere"**

**"What about taking the cabin trunks downstairs,"**

**Rory said**

**"Do you think there is,anything in them?"**

**They moved one over to near the lift which seemed quite,heavy,the other one seemed light as though empty.**

**"Tell,you what...Simon and me will take them both down I've got the hammer,I can knock the locks off, see what's,in them,so any rubbish can go straight into the skip"**

**Rory said.**

**"Good idea..." **

**John replied.**

**"I'll start emptying some of these other boxes, bagging up in black bags what looks,like rubbish."**

**"Kay..." **

**Rory said,as he and Simon dragged the two trunks into the lift...**

**"Bloody hell...that's heavy" **

**Simon said.**

**As they took both of them down in the lift and carried them one at a,time through reception...the heaviest one first.**

**Clara looked up from her conversation with Molly,it was,quiet at the moment.**

**"Rory...are you going to try and open them now?"**

**She asked him has they carried the second one outside.**

**"...if I can..."**

**They had put them both on the grass in the garden at the back of the hotel.**

**Taking the hammer,he hit at the lock on the lightest one,it gave way almost at once.**

**Clara,who had followed him out to watch,opened the lid,as Rory had moved across to the other trunk to do the same...**

**There was a powerful Musty smell,and a something else that she couldn't place ,but turned her stomach...There's was also what looked like a bedsheet,except it was grey with age...**

**"There's something in here,Rory ..."**

**"What,?"**

**He said busy with the other trunk,the lock was proving more,difficult...**

**Clara turned the sheet back.**

**"OH MY GOD_OH!"**

**The trunk tipped over in her haste to get away from it!**

**She started to scream, as Rory hurried over.**

**"Clara_sweetheart_what?"**

** Then she fainted clean away,into his arms.**

**"SHIT! Simon,go and get John NOW!"**

**"What is it?"**

**"JUST FUCKING GET JOHN!"**

**Simon ran back into the hotel,Rory was left holding Clara.**

**On the ground,near the trunk,where she had dropped it was the ****mummified**** body of a ****baby****?"**

**Rory could do nothing except hold her,as he waited for John.**

**A/N**

**What a shock for Clara?**

**Next chapter,the mystery deepens,as they try and find out how long it's been there.**

**Will this put a hold on all of their plans...**

**Please read and review.**

**Chapter 66,soon.**


	66. Chapter 66

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 66**

**John was halfway through sorting a box that contained old books. Lots of them. He had already filled three black bin bags. None of them worth keeping,even to send to charity,as most were either falling apart,or rotting.**

**Suddenly,Simon came hurtling out of the lift at the other side of the building from where he was.**

**"JOHN...!"**

**..."Down this end,Simon...Did Rory manage to get the locks off the trunks? Bet there was some junk in...that heavy...one..."**

**He stopped and looked at Simon's face as he rushed up to him,slightly out of breath.**

**"What is it ...What's,the matter?!"**

**"You need to come...need to come now!"**

**He said to John,**

**"...it's,Clara...I'm not sure what happened,but,she's fainted..."**

**"WHAT...! John was running for the lift,followed by Simon.**

**It went down,to reception...**

**Simon was saying...**

**"Rory knocked the lock from one of the trunks,we were trying to get the other one open.**

**Clara was looking at the open one. Then Rory went to look as well!"**

**He was looking terrified at John.**

**"We heard her scream,she was on the floor.**

**Rory had his arms,round her,as she passed out.**

**Then he told me to come and get you!"**

**The lift was,****on**** the ground by now...John shot out through reception.**

**"...John...What's the ..." Molly called out after him..**

**She had seen Simon rush up in the lift five minutes ago,before coming back with him.**

**"Is it Clara?" Calling out,because she knew,that Clara had followed Rory and Simon out when they brought the trunks down. She had to stay on the desk...Knew they would let her know if anyone needed to be called...but if it was Clara...Oh God! She hoped not...**

**John ran round the side of the building to the garden.**

**Rory was on the ground next to one of the trunks,Clara was in his arms.**

**He got down next to both of them.**

**" Rory...is she okay...What...?"**

**Touching Clara's pale cheek.**

**Rory,white faced as he looked to a bundle lying next to one of the open trunks.**

**John stared at it...looked back at Rory.**

**"...Is that...what I think it is? It was in there?"**

**He pointed to the trunk.**

**Rory nodded.**

**"...and Clara opened it? Oh Jesus Christ!"**

**Sensing Simon behind him,said...**

**"No...stay there! Here"**

**Handing the keys to the car,to him behind his back.**

**"Boot of the car...there are some dust sheets,bring me one..."**

**When he hesitated.**

**"...Now...Simon...!"**

**Then he heard him hurry away towards the front of the hotel.**

**..."How long,Rory?"**

**"W-What?"**

**He seemed in a daze as well.**

**"Since,she passed out?"**

**"About fifteen minutes...**

**... John,you know 'it' ...can't be moved don't you?" We're going to have to ring the Police?"**

**"... Yes,I want to cover...it before Clara comes,round if I can...where the hell's, Simon?"**

**He came running back round the side of the hotel,then with a dust sheet in hand which he gave to John as he stood up to meet him.**

**"Thanks...Will you go back to reception? Ask Molly to ring the Doctor,she knows the number,the black book on the desk...it's got family emergency numbers,Doctors etc.**

**Then wait there,I'll carry her in to Mum's ****office.**

**Tell Molly Clara's fainted"**

**Simon,nodded and then hurried away again.**

**Clara groaned then,she was starting to come round.**

**John quickly threw the dust sheet over the bundle.**

**Kneeling back down,he touched her on the face.**

**"Oh thank God...I was getting worried ...sweetheart..." **

**Her eyes flickered open.**

**"Clara...come on...you can't use Rory as a bed...No matter how comfy he is"**

**Touching Rory on the shoulder,as he was looking slightly sick as well. Giving him a reassuring smile.**

**"J-John... I'm in-n the g-garden"**

**She said as she realised where she was. Who he was.**

**"Yes,Sweetheart,I know..."**

**There was confusion on her face,then it cleared as she remembered what had happened.**

**"There was a-a b-baby,it was wrapped in a S-sheet...J-John...it wasn't alive it was C-cold"**

**"It's alright sweetheart,hush now...it's going to be okay..."**

**John was stroking her head.**

**"Clara,did you touch it? "**

**"Only through the sheet, I dropped it I think when I passed out,Oh John it was horrible...the poor thing,who would do that why... why?"**

**She burst into tears then,as she sat up,throwing her arms round his neck. Sobbing and holding on as though she didn't want to let him go. **

**He put his,round her and on her bump...**

**"Shush...it's going to be okay...Sweetie,look I'm going to carry you back into the hotel...to Mum's office"**

**Clara let go of him then...she was,still shaking,but not as much...**

**"N-o I can w-walk,if you help m-me up"**

**" If your sure?"**

**She nodded.**

**John got to his,feet,helping Clara up,with Rory standing at her other side they moved towards the hotel,into the reception.**

**When the three of them came through the doors,Molly was stood there still behind the desk,talking to Simon.**

**"John...I've rung the Doctor as you asked...their sending someone,soon...is Clara okay?" as she came out from behind it.**

**"...John...I don't need a Doctor...I'm fine now...woe...!" her legs gave way,suddenly.**

**"Clara...!"**

**John picked her up and carried her the rest of the way to the office,as Molly opened the door for them. He put her on the sofa.**

**" Thanks,Molly...could you make some tea for her,put plenty of sugar in it"**

**He looked over at Rory who had followed them in.**

**"Make Rory one as well..."**

**...He looked up at that...**

**"...I don't need ..." he started to say,**

**but then...**

**"Sorry...think I'm going to...,"**

**hand over his mouth,ran out into reception heading for the toilets,where he threw up.**

**John stared after him,having an idea where he was heading.**

**"Tea...Molly...thanks"**

**She went out and shut the door.**

**John looked at Clara sat against the cushions on the sofa,her colour was starting to come back...**

**"John is Rory going to be okay? He-he saw it has well..."**

**"...Tough as old boots,Rory is,you know that...he'll be fine"**

**John got her a bowl from the bathroom so she could wash her hands and face.**

**There was a knock on the door then,as Molly came back in with the tray of tea.**

**"Molly could you keep Simon company?" John said...**

**"I will explain in a little while what's happened,but I don't think we're going to get anything...more done upstairs today!"**

**Rory put his head back round the door,then,coming back in.**

**Molly said,**

**"I'll do that,John...I'll let you know when the Doctor gets here..."**

**"Thanks..."**

**She left shutting the door.**

**John handed Rory a mug...**

**"Here...drink this..."**

**Rory sipped at it,pulled a face at him.**

**"...God... that's sweet... how much sugar did you put in it !?...can't stand tea... ugh!"**

**"Drink it!" John said back to him,**

**"You've had a shock as well!"**

**"But..."**

**"Do as your told,Rory,it will help..."**

**John said.**

**Rory sat down on one of the,armchairs.**

**Took another sip of tea,pulled another face.**

**He had seen the body of the baby after Clara had past out. Had to admit it really had shook him! With all he had to put up with,especially John's problems, he could cope with...But that!**

** Hearing Clara scream, then she had fainted in his arms, saw...saw,it on the ground where she had dropped it...He shuddered.**

**"...Are you alright,mate?" John asked him, noticing.**

**" Yeah...John what are we going to do? You will have to ring..."**

**" I know...and I will,Rory as,soon as the Doctor's been, checked out Clara...it's not going anywhere"**

**Patting him on the shoulder.**

**Rory put the mug down on the table,nodded.**

**"Okay...sorry,I can't drink any more of that,not if I want to keep the rest of my stomach where it is"**

**John didn't comment,noticing that he'd drunk half of it,and his colour was,coming back.**

**"Are you alright,Clara...I'm sorry you had to ...see that"**

**Rory continued.**

**Clara looked over at him,**

**"Rory,you didn't leave it there,the fault is,with who ever did!"**

**"Clara" John said.**

**"Do you remember what happened,before you passed out?" **

**He took her hand.**

**"I won't push if you don't want to talk about it"**

**Clara looked at him and thought that although she didn't,not really,being pregnant herself.**

** In thinking about it she shouldn't bottle it up, as like John would be making, more problems for the future if she did!**

**She swallowed,looking at John then.**

**"No it's fine,Rory had just knocked the lock from the trunk.I opened it.**

**There was a musty smell and something else...not sure what.**

**It was horrible and I felt really sick.I think if I hadn't passed out I would have thrown up there and then"**

**Tears ran down her cheeks,John wiped some away with his finger.**

**"...John,that poor baby... Will we be able to find out what happened to it? Did someone h-hurt I-It?"**

**She was starting to get upset again.**

**"Sweetheart,I don't know,but someone put it there"**

**He held her hand.**

**"We will have to report it,because it died,even if we don't know when or how"**

**He took a breath. Looking over at Rory,**

**"Anyway,I think we've talked enough about it for now,when you have been checked by the Doctor,Rory and me will sort it"**

**"John...I'm fine really..." **

**Clara started to say.**

**"...Clara you've had a shock,plus you've only been up from resting for twenty four hours. I will feel better if you see the Doctor okay?"**

**John continued.**

**Clara,nodded then,knowing it would put his,mind at rest. Plus there was,such a thing as delayed shock...John had proved that himself.**

**There was a knock on the door then,and Molly putting her head round the door said,**

**"John,there is a Doctor Jones here to see Clara...shall I?"**

**John started up from the chair where he had been sitting talking to Clara.**

**"Yes..."**

**Doctor Jones came into the room.**

**"Hello.. John" **

**Going over to Clara,who was still lay on the sofa...**

**"And Clara...what have you been up to? The message I got said you'd fainted? Luckily I'm on call today..."**

**Doctor Jones sat down on the chair,John had just vacated,taking Clara's wrist to take her pulse.**

**"It's a little fast..." to John.**

**"Has she been over exerting herself?"**

**With a look back then to Clara.**

**"After I told her not to?"**

**"...Not really,Doctor in fact she was doing as she was told for once,"**

**Clara raised her eyebrows at that,**

**"...but she has had,a shock though"**

**John told her about finding the dead baby,and what had followed had caused Clara to faint.**

**"I see..." Dr Jones replied.**

**"Let's see what your blood pressure says shall we?"**

**Putting the cuff round her arm...**

**"Hmm...that's surprising...it's normal" touching Clara on the head..."and no temperature...you say she touched it this,baby?" to John.**

**"Through the sheet wasn't it Clara?"**

**"Yes,but I dropped it,poor thing! Then I fainted"**

**"Well,just in case"**

**Dr Jones said then,writing a prescription,giving it to John.**

**"I'm going to give you some antibiotics as a precaution,only because your pregnant...and take a blood for testing...did she wash her hands?"**

**"I brought her a bowl as soon as she was settled on the sofa" John said.**

**" ... what about...you and..."**

**Dr Jones said noticing them both wearing dusty overalls.**

**"Sorry Doctor...this is our friend...Rory who was helping us..."**

**Rory gave her a weak smile...and a wave from where he was sat.**

**"...Hello"**

**"...We were wearing gloves,Rory was ...sick,but I think that could have been the shock as well..."**

**"I'm fine,now..."Rory said then.**

**"I see,well you are both sensible to know what to do if any of you start to feel ill"**

**Dr Jones,said taking the blood she needed from Clara.**

**"Bring Clara to the surgery on Wednesday at ten,John...When she sees the Nurse the results,of this should be back"**

**Dr Jones started to pack things back into her bag.**

**"I will leave you to what you have to do,if you can let me know what happens...? I think I would have been on the floor as well,Clara,from what you described...even though I'm a Doctor...I don't think I would have liked to have seen that..."**

**Patting her hand...then getting to her feet.**

**"Bye for now.."**

**"Thank you,Doctor"**

**John said,shutting the door behind her,as she left.**

**Then he said...**

**"Rory,do you think,you could take Clara upstairs for me? She could have a nap.I have to ring about...and then I will need to talk to Simon and Molly...**

**The door...opened then,and Mary came in...**

**"...John, Molly said Clara fainted and Dr Jones,was on her way out as I came in...Is,she alright?"**

**"...Mum...everything is,okay...Rory will explain..."**

**John said,looking over at him for help.**

**"Auntie,let's take Clara up to your,flat,I will tell you what happened, I think John has,a phone call to make..."**

**...He looked over at John,who seemed to be coping with this,better than he had...maybe it was the shock,but at the end of the day...John was in his,element,which was as it should be...it was,his hotel...and what had happened though upsetting,John was not breaking down,he was,getting on with it.**

**"I will come back,down,John...when I've settled everyone upstairs...okay?"**

**John nodded at him as he followed Clara and his,Mum out and shut the door.**

**He picked up the phone.**

**Calling the number for the police...**

**Meanwhile**

**Simon sitting behind the desk,was talking to Molly.**

**"Is is always quiet like this?" He said.**

**"Not really...this is one of our busiest days... and I don't mean with what happened with Clara"**

**"Only there doesn't seem to be many guests...Sorry...being nosey...it's a fault of mine"**

**Simon replied back to her.**

**Molly smiled at him.**

**"I don't think you know Tadchester...people come here for the quiet life...we're only twenty rooms and not always full,except for the,odd time"**

**She paused then.**

**"John is going to have more rooms built, ten.**

** It won't be until after his wedding to Clara in August. He is also going to advertise...but I think people will still come here for the slow path"**

**The door to the office opened then,and John came out.**

**He came round to the desk and sat opposite to them both.**

**"First ... I want to thank you both for being patient" **

**he said to them.**

**"John is Clara alright? Your Mum asked me and all I could tell her was that she fainted"**

**Molly asked.**

**"She is now,"**

**he paused then.**

**"The reason she collapsed is because there was a body...a dead baby in one of the trunks that were brought down from the top floor.**

**Clara opened it"**

**"Oh my God...!"**

**Molly exclaimed... pointing to the ceiling...**

**"You mean it's,been up there all that time!"**

**"That's,the thing,Molly...we don't know how,long it's,been there... the police are sending some one to take it away and they also may want to look around the attic space as,well"**

**John said then.**

**"Simon...I'm very sorry about this...you came here expecting a couple of days work, all I've done is order you about,had you running here and there with dust sheets! I will still pay you...even if we don't get anything done"**

**"...John,don't worry about it...I'm sure,there,will be,someway to get it cleared,once the police have finished looking,perhaps I could stay on?"**

**Simon replied.**

**"I don't see how you can,"**

**John said,**

**"You have to get back to London,to work out your notice at Robinson's,before you start at Masters..."**

**"I know it's not cricket,what if I don't go back to Robinson's...start at Masters,well when ever the date is"**

**Simon looked over at John.**

**"Do you think Rory would mind?"**

**Simon continued to say...**

**"I think you need me here more,as long as your Mum doesn't mind me being here longer?"**

**"Simon...that would be great!...but let's see what happens with the police first,then we can sort out arrangements.I will go and talk to Mum and Rory now,then I need to get this for Clara"**

**Taking the prescription from his pocket.**

**"I can do that.."**

**Simon said taking it from John.**

**"You don't have too..."**

**"John, it will give me something to do,if someone will point me to the chemist"**

**John got up to go upstairs.**

**"Molly? Will you..."**

**"She grinned at him.**

**"I will give him the directions.I'll ring upstairs,when the police arrive as well"**

**"Thanks Molly"**

**John went upstairs,to the door to the lounge.****His Mum and Rory were sat having coffee.**

**Rory looked over at him.**

**"John...I was just going to come back down,I had to...**

**"Have coffee,first...yes,so I see..."John stood with his arms folded against the door frame.,didn't let him finish.**

**"Well,I had to have something to take the taste of that disgusting cup of tea you gave me away"**

**Rory noticed he was grinning at him...**

**"It was...! There must have been half a bowl of sugar in it...yuck!"**

**Rory sticking his tongue out.**

**"Where's Clara?"**

**John moved into the room.**

**"I put her to bed in my spare room" his Mum said.**

**He sat down,sipping at the coffee his Mum handed him.**

**"I need to talk to you both,Mum,Rory has told you what happened?"**

**"Yes,sweetheart...I'm so sorry that Clara found that.I had no idea what's up there.**

**Most of it has been there since I bought the hotel, I've never seemed to get round to a clear out"**

**"Which was,when ?" Rory asked.**

**"Ten years ago,when I took early retirement from the chambers I was working at...You had both nearly finished training.. and you and Amy were,getting married that summer"**

**She said looking at Rory.**

**John said.**

**"It was built in the 1950s wasn't it? You told me so when I came for a visit,after you moved in"**

**"Do you think that it could have been here since then,John?" **

**His Mum asked.**

**"Maybe,I don't know. Anyway I rang the police, there sending someone to see it and they also want to see upstairs as,well we have not got to touch anything for the moment"**

**Rory looked at him then.**

**"I know it's awful to say,John,after finding it... ...that,but this is going to put a hold up on everything... Simon's help as well..."**

**"That's what I want to talk to you about" **

**John paused then.**

**"Simon has,volunteered to stay on depending what the police say... or do"**

**"Wait a minute,how can he?"**

**Rory said.**

**"Won't he have to go back home,to work his notice at Robinson's? I've asked Jayne to get a letter out to him,to start at Masters next month"**

**"...He still can or..." **

**John said rubbing at the back of his neck looking over at them both.**

**"Look I know it's sneaky,but it would get me out of a hole.**

**It's not as though you need a,reference from Robinson's,right Rory?"**

**Rory shook his head...**

**" Not really...it's not as he's coming to us from another chambers...his school reports,excellent.**

**John...I could stay... . If your..."**

**"No Rory... grateful as I am for the offer,you need this time with Amy and Tom. Anyway,if this works,we can still stick to the plans,we made for the next two weeks...Dr Barclay and the wedding shopping?"**

**"Okay...then,I agree...depending what happens today...few white lies?"**

**Rory said also didn't want John to get out of seeing Dr Barclay.**

**If he couldn't be here himself, with Simon still here helping,John would behave he hoped.**

**"I'm sure,Robinson's will find someone else I'll have a word with Simon when he comes back..."**

**John said then.**

**"Back?" his Mum asked."From where?"**

**" The chemist,to get Clara's prescription,he volunteered,wanted something to do"**

**There was a knock on the door then,Rory got up to answer it.**

**Simon stood there with a paper bag in his hand.**

**"I got..."**

**He started to say,as Rory pulled him in to the room.**

**"Simon...you didn't have to ...I would have gone for it"**

**Simon said back.**

**"I didn't mind...I thought perhaps you all had to be here,for the police?"**

**He handed the bag to Mary,**

**"How's Clara? I hope she's okay now?"**

**"Sleeping at the moment, I will give her one of these when she wakes,up,thank you for going Simon"**

**Simon started back towards,the door then.**

**"Er, where are you going?" John asked him.**

**Turning back round.**

**" To,wait downstairs,out of the way...you don't need me under feet.I'm sure you have things to discuss..."**

**John looked at the other two,then taking hold of Simon,pushed him into a chair.**

**"Simon...sit there,have a coffee,you don't need to scuttle away and hide,you are,part of this family...besides we have decided..."**

**Looking over at Rory...who said.**

**"Yes we have"**

**"If you don't go back to Robinson's for the next few weeks and work for me here,I will pay you the going rate...plus,your board? Then you'll be starting at Masters next month...What do you say?"**

**John continued.**

**"Yes please... I'd like that very much..."**

**Simon got up, hugging John,who looking at Rory over his,shoulder seeming mesmerized by it all.**

**He eventually hugged him,patting him on the back,thinking.**

**'Crickey... how,could I have been jealous of him... all he,wants is a family and,a hug!'**

**" Yes...well" letting him go.**

**He said then clearing his,throat,**

**"We'll sort the details out later,when the police have been"**

**The phone rang then...**

**" Blimey! it's like Piccadilly Circus here today..."**

**going across to pick ****it up.**

**"Hello...yes...we'll,be right down,the three of us,thanks Molly..."**

**He put it down,saying.**

**"The police are here...Simon could you stay up here? In case Clara wakes...you can tell her where we are,but she is to stay up here...tell her I said so or else...! I'll probably get a smack for saying that later. There you go!"**

**John walked towards the door...turning back,to the other two...**

**"Are you coming?"**

**Rory looked at Auntie...as they followed him into the lift.**

**John came into his own,in a crisis!**

**In the reception,there were two men stood near the desk.**

**"Mr Smith?" the dark haired one in a suit said,looking at the group as,they came towards him.**

**"That's me" John said.**

**"I'm Detective Kelvin Baker this is Frank Wilson,forensics.**

**You reported a dead baby?"**

**He was,in a white coveralls...**

**"Yes...it was upstairs in the attic space I'm having converted"**

**"I see,"**

**the Detective started towards,the lift then.**

**"...It's not there now..."**

**John said,**

**"It's outside,in the garden..."**

**Turning back to the group...he said then.**

**"You were asked not to move or touch, anything.**

**Members of the public,never do as their '****bloody'**** told!"**

**Raising his eyes skyward,he turned to go out of the building...but John blocked his way...**

**"...Detective,the reason it's in the garden,is because it was brought down in a,trunk,where ****IT**** was discovered then" **

**John said icely,**

**"...and I would appreciate you not coming into my hotel, talking to me and my family like that...When I am trying to explain what happened..."**

**"...John..."**

**Rory said to him then with a hand on his arm,trying to calm him down.**

**Worried that he was maybe going to fly off the handle any moment.**

**He was with John on this,thinking the policeman an idiot as well...**

**John turned to him,then.**

**"Rory...it's fine...are you alright to come outside and we can show him where it is?"**

**Thinking of how Rory was before...**

**"Yes...it's,okay..."**

**"Mum...I would much rather you didn't...please..."**

**John said,when she opened her mouth to argue,but seeing his face said.**

**"I'll stay here,with Molly"**

**John touched her hand has he went past with Rory,heading for the door and leading the way to the garden.**

**The trunks were as they had left them,one open on its side,next to a white dust sheet.**

**"...It's under there" John nodded at it.**

**The Detective raised his,eye brows,at that...has the other man moved across to look underneath the sheet... he said sarcastically.**

**"What did you do?...Take it out for a,better look?"**

**"Detective...I'm warning you...if you keep talking to me like that,I will be making a complaint to your boss"**

**John said.**

**"Mr Smith...I'm only asking questions...it's part of my job"**

**John was,getting really annoyed now...opened his mouth to say something else,Rory put his hand on his,arm and shook his head,at him.**

**"We appreciate you have to ask questions,but not treat us,as though we're five years,old..." he said.**

**"The reason it is,on the ground is,because it was,opened by Clara...my friend's fiancee..,she didn't realise what it was,at first and then passed,out..."**

**" I see...and what about the other trunk?" The Detective continued.**

**"Have you looked in that?"**

**"No,I had just broken the lock,when Clara called out,then I sent Simon for John..."**

**"Simon?"**

**"He's,helping us,clear the attic space..."**

**John said then..." but we hadn't got very far...I don't think Simon saw much" **

**Thinking how he had kept him in the,background after Rory had,sent him to fetch him.**

**"Neither the less,I will need,to talk to him,and,also your fiancee,Mr Smith"**

**"Right...as long as,I'm there...Clara is pregnant,she as had enough upset for today"**

**John gave him a look then that said 'if you do I will make sure,you regret it' Rory knowing that look said.**

**"We'll all be there,you can talk to us,in the office ****'together'**** when you are ready"**

**The Detective was just about to answer Rory when the other man called across to him,**

**"Sir...it looks,as though it as been there sometime,but until I get it back to the lab..."**

**"Okay...now,what about this,other trunk?" **

**He moved over to it..**

**" That lock was hardest to break"**

**Rory said then...**

**"Heavy too...took Simon and me ages to get it to the lift,then outside..."**

**The Detective,putting on gloves, lifted the lid,and looked inside,**

**"Uhh... that smells..musty...there doesn't seem to be anything but old books,in here..."**

**"There's lots,of them upstairs,as,well...boxes of them...to go into the skip..."**

**John volunteered.**

**The Detective,started to look through them,saying...**

**"Well,if there anything like these...falling to bits and roting,I think your skip is,going to be full!"**

**Suddenly,his face went pale..**

**"Oh my God...Frank...get over here,quick! Is that what..."**

**His colleague,who had been taking photographs of the baby and the trunk,for evidence,hurried over.**

**Rory and John looked as well.**

**"I'm afraid it is,Sir...a human skeleton"**

**He started taking more photographs of that...**

**"...I think you are,going to have to have to get a team out...**

** I don't know how this ties,in with the baby's death... the,attic will have,to be searched as well...Sir?"**

**He looked up from taking photographs...but the Detective was over the,other side of the lawn, throwing up in one,of the bushes...**

**"I don't think he's cut out for this part of the job,"**

**he,said,to Rory and,John.**

**"Look,maybe be its,best if you went back to your family,for now...you heard what I said about a,team?"**

**John looked at Rory...he was,sorry for what had happened,especially as they had found another body...skeleton,but he,could see his new home with Clara,moving further and further away.**

**"So how,long is,this,going to take?" **

**He,asked.**

**"Could be he rest of today and tomorrow...depends on what we,find or don't...look I'll get my boss to come,and tell you"**

**With a look over at him,he was stood with his hands on knees groaning.**

**..."When he feels,better..."**

**"Right...just ask Molly on reception,she'll tell you where we are"**

**John started to walk back towards the hotel,with Rory following.**

**Has they got near to the entrance,Rory noticed John was smiling...**

**"John...?"**

**"I'm alright...mate...just thinking..."**

**"About what?" **

**"That,he found...that one... not you or God forbid...Clara...couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke...!"**

**"John that's not nice...it's no fun being sick...you know that yourself"**

**But Rory was trying to keep a,straight face himself.**

**"John shrugging as they walked through the doors..**

**"Let him upset,Clara...that's,all"**

**His Mum and Molly were both sat at the desk...**

**John walked over to it looking at the bookings.**

**"How many are in at the moment,Molly...?"**

**"Only one,and one tonight..."**

**she looked puzzled at John.**

**"John,****sweetheart..." his Mum stood up and came round the desk to him.**

**"...Why are you asking about the guests?"**

**He looked over at Rory,**

**"Because they have just found another skeleton in the,other trunk"**

**"Oh,my God.." his Mum said,holding on to the desk.**

**"Mum...!" John said "Are you alright? Come and sit down..."**

**He lead her to one of the chairs in the small lounge...she looked pale.**

**She looked at him,**

**"John...I'm so sorry about...you don't need this...I should have had a clear out when I moved in...then you..." she was babling.**

**"Mum..Mum.. !" **

**John knelt and put his hands on her face.**

**"Look...I'm okay...coping...getting on with it...none of this is,your fault.**

**You didn't know what was up there...If you had a clear out when you moved in,things would have gotten found ten years sooner,it would still have the same outcome...Rory...?"**

**He had come over to them both.**

**"Auntie,John's right...l can stay if your worried and..."**

**John stood up then.**

**"...Oh,no you don't...Rory Williams...you are going home to Pond and Tom tonight!" **

**"...But,John..."**

**"No,Rory...I don't need you here..."**

**Rory's face fell... He turned.**

**John could have kicked himself.**

**He put his hand on Rory's shoulder.**

**"Mate...I'm sorry...I didn't mean that the way it sounded"**

**Rory shrugged...**

**"It's,fine...John...if you don't want my help.."**

**"...Rory,I will always,need your help...you know that,but I'm coping"**

**He motioned for Rory to sit down opposite his Mum,and sat down as well.**

**"Isn't this part of me trying to get on with it?" He said." Not using you,unless I absolutely need too?"**

**Rory nodded.**

**"Then this is what I'm doing,Rory.I know it still stands you checking up on me...sure Mum and Clara will be keeping watch.I agreed about the pills and going to see Dr Barclay didn't I?"**

**"John are you really,really sure about this?"**

**"Yes,look...in fact you could do me a favour though..."**

**"Oh...What?"**

**"Take Daisy with you when you go"**

**"John...why?"**

**"Because there is going to be policemen in and out of here in the next twenty-four hours,and I'd rather not explain why to her.**

**It's less than a week until we come to see you,do you think,Pond will mind?"**

**"John,of course not,I'd be pleased to have her,so will Amy you know that...what about the builder's,though I don't think you will have it clear for Monday"**

**"So,I will change it...end of this week,next week,whenever.I can always pop back and too to check up on them in the next two weeks,while we are visiting you"**

**"Okay,John,if that's what you want? You will still see Dr Barclay,though?"**

**..."Yes..three on Monday...I will meet you there,I promise"**

**"John?" **

**Molly called across from the reception desk.**

**"Clara's just phoned down,sounding very irate,asking why she has got to stay upstairs"**

**John had noticed the Detective coming through the door...**

**"Molly,will you call upstairs and tell her we'll be up in ten minutes,thanks..."**

**Saying to Rory then...as he saw Molly pointing to them sat in the little lounge.**

**"Here comes your friendly neighbourhood police man...pass the sick bucket..."**

**"John..behave! Hello Detective,feeling better?"**

**"Yes,thanks...look Mr Smith...I really need to talk to your family now,your fiancee...too" **

**"That's,okay,but you upset her...I throw you out"**

**"I won't...look I need to explain about something else we've found in the trunk,as well..."**

**"Blimey...don't say there is more than one!" John said then...**

**"No..No,look if we could go and see your fiancee,then I can explain...**

**A/N**

**So what is happening now?**

**Two bodies...**

**What has the skeleton to do with the baby?**

**What else have the police found?**

**Will Rory get home to Amy and Tom?**

**Next chapter soon.**

**Please read and **

**review.**

**What do you think.**


	67. Chapter 67

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 67**

**They all went upstairs in the lift. John decided this would be best,for Clara who was already up there.**

**Also for his Mum as well,she had been very quiet since all this came out.**

**He looked up at the ceiling,to the attic floor,has Rory led them all towards the lounge.**

**'Christ.I hope there is no more up there' he thought.**

**When Clara had woken from her nap, Simon had told her that she was too stay with him.**

**Not to follow John and Rory downstairs,as the police had arrived. When nearly an hour had past she was getting fidgety,needing to know what was happening. Heading for the door Simon following, putting his hand on her arm saying.**

**"I don't think,you should Clara. John wants you to stay here,with me"**

**He had gone bright red in the face,looking down at the ground in embarrassment.**

**Clara smiled as he reminded her of John.**

**It was the way,he was trying to look out for her. After all,he had likened her and John to his Mum and Dad earlier hadn't he?**

**"What are they doing down there?! Surely the police know what's happened by now, seen the baby?"**

**Clara went and sat back down on the sofa. Simon had told her about the conversation he'd had with John,earlier while she was still asleep. That John had asked him to stay on and he'd agreed to it.**

**Another ten minutes past. Getting up again.**

**"Oh.I'm sick of this!"**

**Reaching for the phone.**

**"Molly,is John there?. If he can't_"**

**Molly said,something back to her.**

**She said irritable.**

**"Well If he can't ask him why I've got to stay up here will you? Thanks"**

**Looking over at Simon then as she put the phone back down.**

**"He's still waiting to talk to the Detective they've sent, according to Molly_"**

**She broke off as the phone rang. Snatching it up.**

**"Hello J****ohn? ****Sorry**** Molly,I thought it might have been him"**

**She said listening.**

**"Okay,thanks"**

**Putting the phone down.**

**"Their on the way up,ten minutes"**

**Simon sighed. "Good"**

**He would be glad when they all came back up,not that he didn't want to be on his own with Clara.**

** It ****was,with a pregnant and upset, Clara.**

**He sensed she was heading that way. Didn't women who were level headed and calm most of the time get like this when they were expecting? Hormones wasn't it?**

**The door to the lounge opened,Rory came in with Mary and also a man in a dark suit,followed lastly by John.**

**"John Smith. I want a word with you_"**

**Going over to him,with a determined look on her face.**

**Clara started to say.**

**"Ah. Clara sweetheart"**

**John said too her, sensing that there was an argument starting.**

**Putting his arm round her.**

**"This is Detective Baker. He wants to talk to us,all about what was in the trunks. Look you should sit down_"**

**John led her to the sofa. He looked at Rory. Someone had to tell her he wasn't sure how she would take it.**

**"Clara. Love"**

**Rory knelt down next to her,holding her hand.**

**"They've found a skeleton in the other trunk"**

**"W-what,a- another b-baby!?"**

**Rory looked over at the policeman.**

**"No, this one is older, though we're not sure how old,until we get it back to the lab. Look Miss err_"**

**"Oswald" **

**Clara said looking at him.**

**"Miss Oswald" **

**he repeated back.**

**" I understand you opened the trunk with the,baby in,that it tipped over in your haste to get away from it?"**

**"Well wouldn't you Detective?"**

**Clara said back to him sharply.**

**She pointed down to her '****bump'**

**"I'm not saying that because I'm pregnant.**

**It wouldn't have been a very nice experience for anyone!"**

**John stood next to Clara,touching her face.**

**She looked up at him. He sat down next to her on the sofa.**

**"John,why is nothing going right for us?"**

**"Clara.I don't know.." **

**He said quietly looking away from her.**

**Clara bit her lip. She didn't want John to go back in on himself. With a look at Rory,who was still knelt next to her. A silent plea.**

**Talk to him,please!' She squeezed his hand,nodded at John.**

**" Come on,John this can be sorted,right?"**

**When he noticed the look in John's eyes,of doubt that had started come back again after he had spent the day so ****hyper**** and more like his friend of old.**

**"John do you want me to stay,help you with this?" He pushed touching his hand.**

**Suddenly,John shook himself.**

**"Rory. I'm fine"**

**He looked over at him.**

**"I will cope,if I can survive what he did to me,besides I think this has upset Mum more. I-we need to be strong for her right?"**

**Rory glanced across at Auntie who had been so pale and quiet since John had told her about the second trunk. Looking over to the policeman,**

**" You said you had found something else in the trunk?"**

**"Yes,we,found some sort of note,wrapped in a piece of cloth on the body.I can't really tell you what it says at the moment,not until we get it back to the lab"**

**The Detective said.**

**"We didn't want to pull the thing all the way open,then it falls apart.I can tell you there is a part of a date on the top of it. We could just make out 1958"**

**"The hotel was built about four years before that"**

**Mary spoke up then,she had been sat quietly in the armchair.**

**Rory stood up then,looking at John.**

**"Mum,are you okay?"**

**John asked her.**

**She gave him a look.**

**"My hotel is turning in to a horror set, now I'm going to have policemen in and out, why should I worry,and you ask me am I alright John?"**

**She burst into tears.**

**"Mum!"**

** John with a look at back at Rory,hurried over to her.**

**"J-John What-t are we go-ing to do? The guests will-think we've done it.b-bodies in the garden,hidden in the attic,t-the p-police,in and o-out" **

**She was getting hysterical.**

**John sitting on the arm of the chair put his,arms round her.**

**Trying to calm her down.**

** "Course they won't! Look its probably been there since,when was it.1958?"**

**The Detective nodded at him.**

**"See Mum,well only bought the place ten years ago.**

**"Look,do my fiancee and my mother have to sit and listen to this? It obvious they can't tell you anything. You can tell us,both"**

**He pointed to Rory and himself.**

**" What's going to happen now,right Rory?"**

**"_Yes"**

**"I think that should be okay"**

**Detective Baker looked at the tearful woman in John's arms. Mary was calming down slightly.**

**"I'm sorry to have upset you Mrs Smith"**

**"It's Mrs Drew.I will go and lie down,John.I need to"**

**She looked exhausted.**

**"Mum,are you"**

**Mary said,patting his face,looked up at him.**

**"I'm be okay it's not your fault. I wasn't blaming you"**

**She got up then,going towards the door.**

**Wiping her eyes as she went.**

**"Oh,I'm sorry.I thought,you said your Mother?" **

**The policeman said looking at John has he,watched his Mum walk towards the door,going out into the hall and then it closing behind her.**

**"I did_"**

**Though he knew it wasn't the policeman's fault,did not want to explain his private,business to him.**

**John looked over.**

**"Clara,sweetheart,will you go with her please"**

**When it looked as though she was going to protest, going over to her and touching her on the cheek.**

**"Please.I don't want Mum to be on her own,I will come and tell you what's,happening once we know,okay? I promise"**

**Clara kissed him as he helped her up and she followed Mum out the door.**

**"_John?"**

**said Simon.**

**"Do you want me too go as well,while you sort this out?"**

**John looked back at him.**

**"No Simon,if you are going to be,helping me in the next couple of weeks,this,will concern you as well.**

**So Detective,what happens,now?"**

**Walking over to him.**

**"When do I get my hotel back?"**

**"Mr Smith,like I said to your Mother,I'm very sorry about this.**

**The two trunks and the,contents should be removed about now"**

**He looked at his watch.**

**"The attic remains a crime scene until it as been searched,so if you and your family could keep away from it,please?"**

**"Right."John said "Rory_"**

**"Yes?"**

**"It's nearly five you go and get Daisy from her party for me? Then you can pick somethings up from the flat before you take her home with you"**

**Rory looked at the policeman,**

**"That's alright isn't it? Only I have to get home to London,back to my Wife and Son.I'm taking Daisy with me for a visit"**

**"Daisy_"**

**"My daughter"**

**John said then.**

**"I would rather her not be here with all what is,happening,that's,okay isn't it?"**

**"I should think so"**

**The Detective said.**

**"Where about in London?"**

**"Chelsea" Rory replied back.**

**"_I can give you my number if you want,but I have to get home"**

**"I'm sure Mr Smith will oblige if need be,you should go home as there's not much you can do here"**

**Looking at John,then.**

**"What about you,Mr Smith?"**

**"I will either be up here,or in the office fact I will have to make,a couple of calls. I have builders coming at ten Monday morning to give me estimates,that's not going to happen now is it?**

**The Detective shook his,head.**

**"Sorry,no,couldn't you rearrange it to another we don't find anything,you could have things,back to normal by maybe late Monday,if your lucky."**

**"I do hope so"**

**John said then,with a look at Rory.**

**"I have to be somewhere,Monday afternoon,which I don't want to cancel if I can help it"**

**"...I will keep you informed...I'd best go down and see what's happening to the...what was found...like I said,I'm sorry your Mother got upset"**

**The policeman headed for the door.**

**"Detective" John said.**

**He turned round as he put his hand on the handle.**

**"...Yes...Mr Smith?"**

**"I've asked Molly to provide tea and coffee,if anyone wants it while you resume your investigations"**

**"...Thank you...I think we will be grateful for that..."**

**He went out closed,the door behind him.**

**"Well...he seemed,more polite" Rory said.**

**"John you are sure,about all this?"**

**"...Yes..." turning back to him..."You and Simon,I'm going to..."**

**He gestured to himself.**

**"We'd may as,well go and get changed"**

**They were all still in the overalls.**

**"...There's no point in leaving these on.**

**When your ready Rory,I will tell you where to pick Daisy up from..."**

**Rory nodded...**

**"I'll see you downstairs in reception...okay?"**

**Going out the room,the three of them headed off.**

**Simon to his room,Rory to the bathroom and John to his Mums spare room.**

**When John was changed,he went to his mums bedroom,knocking lightly,then he put his head round the door.**

**His Mum was fast asleep on the bed,Clara was dozing in the chair next to it. John was about to go out again,when she opened her eyes,looking over at him.**

**"...John?"**

**He put a finger to his lip,beckoning for her to come out on to the landing. Getting up with her hand on her bump,Clara followed him out. John shut the door.**

**"What's happening?" Clara asked him...**

**"I will tell you,but not here,I want Mum to sleep,she,as well as you have had enough upset for today...come on"**

**Taking her hand,they both went back to the lounge. Opening the door,noticed there was no one inside going in and shutting the door.**

**Clara went and sat down on the sofa.**

**"Well?" She said.**

**"I have to go back downstairs in a minute,Rory will be waiting for me. He is going to pick Daisy up from,her party. Clara,I want him to take her home with him tonight...back too Amy. I think she would be better with them,rather than in the middle of all this"**

**He gestured towards,the ceiling,meaning the attic.**

**"...I'm sorry I didn't ask you,sweetheart,but I think..."**

**"John it's,the right decision,she is your daughter as much as mine.**

**In fact,we still have the problem of Will to discuss...but that is,for when this is over...right?"**

**She wanted to let him know she hadn't forgotten,also he was right about Daisy.**

**He was coping,but didn't need a seven year old asking lots,of questions!**

**John said.**

**"We will and I'll tell you the rest of what's happening when I get Rory on his way,okay?"**

**"I'll ring Jade's Mum and tell her Daisy's Uncle is picking her up. We don't want them to think someone is making off with her.**

**Tell Rory it's the white house at the top of the village...****'Silver Trees' **** he can't miss it"**

**"...Right..."**

**He went over and kissed her.**

**"I love you John Smith"**

**"...I love you too..."**

**He put his head against hers.**

**"Clara...I will sort this"**

**"I know you will...now go...Rory will be waiting"**

**She kissed him back and John walked to the door and,heading to the lift,down to reception.**

**Rory was stood at the desk talking to Molly.**

**He turned as John came out of the lift towards him.**

**"Back in a minute,Molly"**

**He said as be beckoned for Rory to follow him outside to the car park.**

**"...John you are sure this is what you want me to do?"**

**They both stood near his car.**

**"Yes...Rory,I will see you in less than two days at Dr Barclay's in fact...if I cope,with all this...you will be able to give him a good report" **

**He smiled at him.**

**When Rory opened his mouth to say something else,John continued.**

**"Look go and get Daisy,take her too the flat...ring me when you get there,as,I want a word with her before you go ?"**

**When Rory still stood near the car looking at him,John continued.**

**"...Rory...we could argue about this all night, someone needs to go and get Daisy.**

**There is,only you or me.I'm alright...really,you want me to get on with my life...this is,me doing it...so what's it to be ?"**

**Rory got into his car.**

**John put his head inside to say to him.**

**"It's the white house,at the entrance to the village 'Silver Tree's' Clara will have phoned Jades Mum by now,so they know it's you that's picking Daisy up...now go...speak to you in a while"**

**Rory pulled away from the hotel,and as he did so another white van,like the one already there pulled onto the car park,John sighed and went to meet the men who got out.**

**Top of the village 10 minutes later**

**Rory found the house,'Silver Tree's' with no trouble. In fact he remembered passing it on his way home in the taxi to the station after Clara was rushed to hospital last week.**

**He parked on the drive behind a car that was,already there...well he wasn't going to be long he hoped. Soon has he had picked up Daisy and got what she needed from the flat,hoped to be on the way...home to Amy and Tom. If he didn't,might just be tempted to go back and see if everything was okay with John.**

**'...And that's not letting him get on with things is it,Rory?'**

**Said to himself,as he got out of the car,going up to the door, rang the bell.**

** Footsteps came down the hall. The door was opened by a woman with long blond hair tied back in a ponytail.**

**He smiled.**

**"Hello...I've come to pick up Daisy..."**

**"You must be Uncle Rory...Clara phoned to say you were.**

**Come In...come in! Daisy's in the garden.**

**She's one of the last to be picked up,so their having a last bounce on the castle"**

**Rory followed, well he thought it must be Jade's Mum towards the garden as she talked away...**

**"I expect it's very busy at the hotel.I see John now and then bringing Daisy or picking her up at the school.**

**Sometimes her Grandfather.I don't see Clara now she's pregnant,twins isn't it?"**

**When Rory said ..."Yes..." she carried on...**

**"It's all,Daisy talks about...the little sister and brother that's coming... that and Clara and John's wedding...how she's going to be a bridesmaid."**

**She smiled at Rory...**

**By now they were in the garden.**

**There was one of those blow up castle that were a favourite with little girls.**

**Daisy and two other little girls,one blond and with looks like the woman besides him,were jumping up and down on it giggling away...She hadn't seen Rory. Jade's Mum was about to call her when the doorbell rang again.**

**"That will be Tracy's Mum I expect...do you think you could..." she pointed to the castle.**

**"...I'll get her..."**

**Rory went towards the castle as she headed back inside to answer the door.**

**"...Daisy..." he called out to her.**

**"Uncle Rory...Uncle Rory..." She bounced over to the entrance.**

**"...Mummy sent me to pick you up,are you ready to go?"**

**Daisy stood near the entrance trying to keep her balance.**

**"Don't you want to have a go...Uncle Rory?"**

**"I think I'm to big to go on that,sweetheart..."**

**"It will take your weight if you want to have a go" **

**Said a voice behind him.**

**"The adults have been on it as much as the kids today"**

**Jade's Mum had come back with another woman.**

**She gave him a look as through to dare him to do it!**

**'Sod it!' He thought...'Time for some fun'**

**Kicking his shoes off he climbed on...Daisy giggling bounced away from him to the other side of the castle.**

**"Okay,five minutes,Daisy...then we'll have to go..."**

**Rory was trying to keep his balance,bounced after her,and went flat on his face.**

**Daisy turning round,bounced back towards him and jumped on top of him...**

**"Oi,cheeky madam...get off!"**

**"...Shall I tickle you Uncle Rory"**

**"...Don't you dare,no no...Daisy...stop it...get off!"**

**Rory was trying to get away from a still giggling Daisy... then he heard...it.**

**"...Drove past the hotel on my way here...there was, a white van on the car park..."**

**"...Ambulance?"**

**...No,it looked like what they'd send,if they've found something,you,know a body or whatever..."**

**Rory with his arms round Daisy sat up...**

**'Oh shit...!' He thought, 'Now the gossip starts'**

**"Daisy,love...I'm sorry we're going to have to go"**

**Rory made his way to the entrance of the castle,and got down from it.**

**He helped Daisy down. Sat putting his,shoes back on saying to her.**

**"Where are your shoes and things Daisy?"**

**"In the house,Uncle Rory"**

**"I will go and get her ready for you."**

**Jade's Mum said to him going slightly red,as she knew who he was and had overheard.**

**Taking Daisy by the hand going into the house.**

**Rory looking at the woman left behind,he stood up.**

**"I think that until you know the truth about what is going on at the hotel,it's best not to spread...rumours... putting two and two together doesn't make five?" **

**"...Sorry...do I know,you?" **

**she replied back.**

**"...That was a private comment..."**

**"Not when it concerns,my Aunt...Mrs Drew"**

**Rory replied.**

**He started walking towards the house,turning back to the woman.**

**"...For the record...My Aunt...John...Clara... all well,not been murdered or anything"**

**The woman stared at him open mouthed.**

**He pointed at himself...**

**"Besides which,their Solicitor...Me, will take anyone to court,if ****any****, ****any**** vicious rumours get spread about them or the hotel" **

**He nodded his head back to the castle.**

**"I'll leave you to pick up your daughter...I have to get my Niece home...bye!"**

**Rory,walked back towards the house.**

**Jade's Mum was,stood near the patio doors,**

**"... Daisy is,waiting for you at the front door,I'm sorry about that...but people do talk..."**

**"Yes I know "**

**Rory replied.**

**"...There's talk and there's rumours,I meant what I said about thing's getting spread about that are not true... I am a solicitor...theirs...**

**It will come out I expect,what's happened, at the hotel.**

**But it will be the right truth,when my Aunt and John want it to..."**

**By this time,they were back in the hall,Daisy with her shoes, and a cardigan on with a party bag in hand,was waiting for him near the door.**

**"Ready to go,Sweetheart?"**

**Rory smiled at her as he took her hand...**

**"...Yes...thank you for having me..." she said turning to Jade's Mum.**

**"Your very welcome,Daisy" **

**She said back to her,as Daisy walked out of the door in front of Rory.**

**"Rory..."**

**"Yes?"**

**He turned back...**

**"If anyone says anything,I will tell them to mind their own business...I've known your Aunt a long time...and I like John and Clara,as well"**

**"...Thanks...bye"**

**She shut the door behind them both.**

**Rory went to get in the car,saying to Daisy as he did.**

**"Don't you want to sit in the front seat with me?"**

**Daisy opened the passenger side and got in.**

**Rory pulled away from the drive way,and then drove a couple of yards down the road,parking back-up. **

**He would have to explain to her,why they were going back to the flat and not the hotel.**

**"Daisy...would you like to come home with me now...to see Auntie Amy and Tom?"**

**"But I thought I was on Friday with Mummy and John?" she replied.**

**"Are they coming as,well?"**

**"...No John is going to bring Mummy on Friday like we arranged"**

**"Oh..." was,all she said.**

**Then,Daisy looked over at him.**

**"...Have I been naughty? I've tried,to a good girl for Mummy...is she getting tired again,is that why I'm being sent away?"**

**Rory's eyes went wide..his heart plummeted.**

**"...Oh,no...Daisy...sweetheart... your never naughty...come here"**

**He put his arms round her,kissing the top of her head.**

**"...You are not being sent anywhere,look I will take you home to Mummy now if you want.**

**We thought as its nearly the school holidays you might like to come earlier...I know Tom is,looking forward,to seeing you.**

**And you could ****give Auntie Amy her present..."**

**"****Can,I give Tom his football?" She asked.**

**"Course! T****hat's from you as well...so what's it to be...back to Mummy and John,or home with me?"**

**"Kay,Uncle Rory,with you...I'd like to see Auntie Amy and Tom"**

**She smiled up at him.**

**"Good girl," he touched her cheek.**

**"We'll just pop back to the flat you'll need somethings,nightie,change of clothes until Friday...I expect Mummy will bring some more for you then. Auntie Amy can wash out anything you need"**

**He started the car...by the time they got back to the flat,it was nearly seven...the phone was ringing as Rory opened the door,he grabbed for it.**

**"Hello?"**

**"Rory..."**

**"Amy...why are you ringing me on Clara's phone?"**

**"Because yours is on voicemail,again stupid face...are you okay?"**

**"I'm fine...everything is okay...Hang on Amy"**

**He put his hand over the receiver.**

**"Daisy,do you want to get your things what you need,sweetheart,while I talk to Auntie Amy?"**

**Daisy nodded and headed off down the hall to her bedroom. She shut the door. Rory put the phone back to his,ear.**

**"Amy...I'm back"**

**"Rory...I rang John,to see what time you would be back tonight...he told me what happened,how awful...poor Clara...and poor Auntie"**

**"Did John seem okay to you? He wasn't panicking or anything?" He asked then.**

**..."He seemed fine,like he was at ours,the other day getting on with it.**

**The only thing he was going on about was Daisy,kept saying he was sorry for leaving her with us,at short notice.I told him it was fine,that's what we'd got her room ready for"**

**"Amy...he seems to be coping,maybe the extra meds,are helping...him"**

**He sighed.**

**"I will be so glad when Monday comes and he sees Dr Barclay. I think I might ring him,Monday morning. John's appointment isn't until three.I really should let him know what's happened before then I won't be able to tell him when I go with John "**

**"...So...what time do you think you will be back then,Stupid face?"**

**"About nine...I'm hoping to get on the road by eight,I will have to ring John myself...he wants to talk to Daisy...not that I'm checking up on him,but my mind will be at rest...besides I need a sandwich..not eaten since lunch...how's Tom?"**

**He asked then.**

**"Watching television...I'll tell him you'll be home about nine,let him stay up? Rory...are we still going on a picnic tomorrow?"**

**"Course...I promised him,think Daisy would enjoy it as well...best go or I won't get on the road...see you in a couple of hours,bye sweetheart,love to Tom"**

**He hung up. Daisy was still in her room so he picked up the phone again. Dialled the number for the hotel.**

**"Hello, Parkgate hotel Reception"**

**John's voice said.**

**"Why are you on reception? Where's Molly?"**

**" Her shifts over and there's no one else until nine...Ben,the night porter will be in then. Hello to you Rory,did you get Daisy?"**

**"Yes,she's in her room,getting some clothes together"**

**"Is she okay?"**

**..."Yes,and no..."**

**"What do you mean...Yes and no?"**

**"...Sorry John,I didn't mean to say it like that.**

**She is now but... thought you were sending her away,because Clara,was upset and tired again...that she had been naughty"**

**"Oh bloody hell...! Rory..."**

**Rory didn't want to sugar coat anything,or John would never get better. **

**He could almost see him pulling his,hand through his hair.**

**"John, John I sorted it,she's fine,now...looking forward to coming home with me...seeing Auntie Amy and Tom. Are the police still there?"**

**"No gone for tonight" John heard Daisy say...as she came out of her room.**

**"Uncle Rory...I've got somethings...are we going now?"**

**"I will ring you when I get home,John...you can tell me the latest then"**

**"...Okay...let me speak to her..."**

**To Daisy...**

**"Not yet,soon sweetheart,here do you want to speak to John?"**

**She nodded.**

**He handed the phone to her.**

**"John?"**

**"Hello,sweetheart...did you have a good time at your party?"he asked her.**

**"Yes...John is Mummy there?"John thought she still sounded upset,for all Rory had said.**

**"Not at the moment,Daisy...I'm downstairs on reception...Nanny has a headache,so I'm covering for her.**

**Tell you what,by the time you get back to Uncle Rory's,I will be back upstairs,you can talk to her then I promise,alright?"**

**"Kay..."**

**"That's,a good girl...I will speak to you soon...do you want to put Uncle Rory back on,now?"**

**She handed it back to Rory.**

**"John wants you..."**

**Rory taking the phone from her said.**

**"I'll make a sandwich in a minute,Daisy,why don't you go and get yourself a drink? Think there is orange in the fridge"**

**Nodding,Daisy went towards,the kitchen.**

**"John?"**

**"She still sounds upset,Rory...I have done the right thing? "he said then.**

**Of course you did...John she is better away from the hotel,Clara and you will see her in five days. It will be fine once I get her home,to Amy"**

**"Did Pond ring you?"**

**"Yes,just before I rang you.I'm going to make a sandwich and then get on the road.I hope you have eaten,John?" No excuses,because I'm not there..."**

**John huffed then said...**

**"Simon..."**

**"What about him?"**

**"Makes a mean omelette..."**

**"Hmm,you better not be fibbing,John...Just because he made it doesn't,mean you ate it! I'll be checking with Clara later"**

**"...I know you will...speak to you about nine,mate...bye for now"**

**"Yeah,bye,John"**

**Rory hung up and then headed to the kitchen.**

**Daisy,was sat at the table with a glass,of Orange in front of her. She did look tearful.**

**Rory put the kettle on to make a coffee for himself and then going over to the fridge and looking in it.**

**"Well We've got cheese or ham,which would you like, Daisy?"**

**She shrugged her shoulders,**

**"...Not hungry..."**

**"Right,tell you what...why don't I make both and then if you change your mind...you can have one of mine?"**

**"Kay..."**

**..."There's Jammy Dodgers,if you want them" **

**Opening the cupboard and putting the packet on the table.**

**"No thank you,Uncle Rory...I'm not hungry"**

**'Blimey...Daisy refusing Jammy Dodgers'...still she had been to a party and must have eaten alsorts there.**

**Rory touched her head,she did seem slightly warmer than usual,but that might just be because she was upset.**

**"Tell you what,I'll just have this and then we'll get going,okay?"**

**Rory quickly made a coffee,and ate one of the sandwiches he'd made.**

** The rest he wrapped up to take with them.**

**Daisy might change her mind.**

**He also put in a couple of cartons of Orange he found in the fridge and two bottles of water.**

**By the time he'd locked up the flat,and got Daisy back into the car,it was nearly eight.**

**Because she was yawning,and rubbing her eyes,he said to her.**

**"Do you want to lie down, in the back seat,have a nap,sweetheart?" **

**Daisy nodded,climbed in lay down and closed her eyes.**

**" We should be home in an hour,I expect Auntie Amy will have something nice for supper for us"**

**'God,I hope,so...I'm starving' he thought.**

**They had only been going for about twenty minutes,and Rory was musing to himself about all that had happened that day from John disappearing that morning,to finding the bodies,in the trunks and the police arriving.**

**He thought Daisy was asleep when she sat up suddenly.**

**"Uncle Rory...I'm going to be sick...!"**

**...'Oh hell' he thought pulling off onto the nearest layby as quickly as he could.**

**Getting out of the car as quick as he rushed round to the back door,which as he opened to get Daisy out...She vomited..on the path,and down his shirt.**

**'Oh just great' he thought...**

**Daisy burst into tears...**

**"Hey sweetheart,it doesn't matter...come on..."**

**She was shivering took some wipes and cleaned her face and hands up,and himself as best he could.**

**"There is that better now hmm? Do you want a sip of this water?"**

**Holding the bottle to her lips..**

**Daisy took a couple of sips...**

**"Un-cle R-Rory,I'm s-sorry about your s-shirt..."**

**"It's,only a,shirt,Daisy it will wash...do you want to go back in the car now? You don't want to be sick again?"**

**She shook her head and let Rory lie her down again in the back covering her up with the rug that was in there,she did seem cooler now.**

**"Daisy?"**

**...she was asleep.**

**He used the rest of the water to clean himself up...and then got back in the driving seat.**

**'Well lest it wasn't all over the car only me'**

** He looked over at Daisy,before he pulled back into the traffic.**

**The next half hour past,Daisy slept..as he pulled on to the driveway at his house,Amy came out saying to someone behind her.**

**"Stay there...your in your pyjamas,Uncle Rory will be in with Daisy in minute"**

**Coming out to the car,because Rory was still sat in the driving seat.**

**Noticing Daisy fast asleep in the back and as Rory got out,the state of his,shirt...**

**"...Oh dear!"**

**"...Yes...oh dear..."**

**He went to the back door,opening it to pick up the still sleeping Daisy from the back seat...carrying her into the house,he laided her down on the sofa.**

**Tom who was stood watching from the lounge doorway said then.**

**"Is,Daisy okay Uncle Rory?"**

**"Just sleepy and a bit sick...mate" To Amy he said,**

**...I think it was a little bit to much for her,traveling after what she must have eaten at the party she had been to..."**

**Amy raised an eye brow at that...as Daisy started to stir...opening her eyes...**

**"M-mummy...! she started to sob.**

**"Oh sweetheart"**

**Amy's heart went out to the upset little girl in front of her.**

**"...Rory,do you want to take Tom upstairs,and you can change your shirt...I will sort Daisy get her ready for bed..." **

**Opening the bag she had brought from the back seat,as,Rory had carried her in.**

**Rory nodded,walking towards,the door with Tom said back to her...**

**..."She was slightly warm,but I think she as cooled down since she was sick...Come on Tom"**

**Amy heard him say,**

**"Let me change, then we can catch up on our,story...I think I owe you a few chapters..."**

**"Cool!" **

**Tom said as,the door shut behind them both.**

**'Typical,Rory' she thought.**

**He must be absolutely knackered,with what he'd put up with the last few days,but wouldn't upset Tom.**

**She turned her attention to the upset little,girl on the sofa.**

**"Hello,Daisy love"**

**...A-auntie Amy...I was sick...down U-uncle Rory's Shirt..."**

**"So I saw...don't get upset,sweetheart...he's got plenty more upstairs..."**

**She put her hand on Daisy's head.**

**"...Tell you a secret?...I don't like that shirt much anyway..."**

**"Really" Daisy ...said then.**

**"Want Mummy..."**

**"I know you do,sweetheart,tell you what...let's get you ready for bed,and then perhaps we can ring her and John...would you like that?"**

**Daisy nodded and let Amy undress her,the outfit she had worn for the party would need washing,but she had enough dugarees and t shirts with her,which would do for the next few days.**

**Amy got a bowl and face cloth from the cloakroom and washed Daisy's face and hands.**

**She took her hair out from her pigtails,brushing it.**

**"...There,that's better..."**

**Daisy smiled at her...**

**"Now how about some supper?" Amy carried on.**

**"I've got lamb chops for Uncle Rory..."**

**When Daisy pulled a face...**

**"You don't have to have that sweetheart...how about some soup? I've got chicken or tomato..."**

**...Can I have tomato,please?" Daisy said then...**

**"John likes that...it's his favourite..."**

**"I know,it is"**

**Amy said then remembering him as Johnnie throwing it across the bedroom.**

**"I will have chicken,if you want to save it for John..."**

**"I think there will be enough in my cupboard for him as well as you,Daisy...Do you want to come into the kitchen with me,while I warm it up?"**

**"...Kay"**

**Daisy got off the sofa and taking Amy's hand went with her.**

**Sitting her down at the table,got the soup out of the cupboard, put it in the pan to warm.**

**Amy put the dish of soup in front of her,the phone rang...**

**"...You eat some of that,I'll just answer the phone"**

**Daisy nodded and picked up her spoon.**

**Amy hurried into the lounge and picked up the phone.**

**"Hello..."**

**"Hello,Pond..."**

**it was John...**

**"Are they back yet?" He sounded anxious.**

**By now it was quarter to ten.**

**About half an hour...I've just got Daisy ready for bed"**

**"Is she okay? She seemed upset earlier when I spoke to Rory,I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing sending her with him.I think she thought we were sending her away..."**

**He paused then...**

**"Pond I don't ever want her to think,that the twins are more important than her"**

**"Raggedy Man,I don't think she'll will think that. Look it had been a long day for her,in fact I think she had so much junk food at this,party she'd been too,She threw up over Rory on the way here"**

**"...She did...is she okay now?" He asked then.**

**Amy looked through the kitchen doorway where Daisy was spooning soup into her mouth.**

**"Seems to be she is eating some soup at the moment"**

**"So she was sick over Rory...?" John said then.**

**"Yes...all down his,shirt..."Amy paused... Are you laughing "Raggedy Man?"**

**"No...No,not really..."**

**She could tell the way he was breathing that he was.**

**"Yes you are!"**

**"Well I suppose he didn't have a bowl handy,being in the car...please tell me she didn't throw up in his,car?"**

**John knew that Rory was as fussy about his car as Amy was about her kitchen!**

**"No just the shirt..."**

**Amy was about to say something else when,Daisy appeared at the doorway tomatoe soup round her mouth saying...**

**"Is that Mummy...can I speak to her?"**

**"It's John,Daisy...but I expect Mummy is there..."**

**Amy wiped her mouth and then passed the phone to her.**

**"John..."Daisy gave a big yawn then...**

**"Hello,sweetheart...you sound tired...Mummy's here if you want to talk to her"**

**Clara,had been sat patiently while John had been talking to Amy,took the phone from him.**

**"Hello my good girl...are you okay?"**

**"Mummy...I've been sick...down Uncle Rory..."**

**"So I heard...I expect he didn't mind...it was an accident"**

**Clara kicked John then who was still grinning.**

**"Ow! Clara"**

**"I miss you Mummy...and John and the babies"**

**Rory came back into the room then.**

**"I know you do sweetheart," **

**Clara,continued then.**

**"Think of the fun your going to have with Uncle Rory and Aunty Amy...I think you are,going on a picnic tomorrow...that will be fun won't it?"**

**"Hmm..." Daisy was drooping now,Amy came over to her,taking the phone...**

**"Clara...she's nearly asleep,I think I'd better get her to bed..."**

**"Thanks,Amy...tell we,love her,give her a big kiss from us both...I will phone her...Monday...? I know you are going out on a,picnic tomorrow...thanks for what you are doing"**

**"Clara...you are,quite welcome,I'm enjoying It as,well"**

**She looked over at Rory who was signaling that he wanted to talk to her.**

**"Here's Rory I think he wants,a word...bye Clara!"**

**She handed the phone to Rory...**

**"Just taking Daisy up...Tom?"**

**"Asleep..." **

**He kissed Daisy as they passed.**

**"Night Uncle Rory..."she mumbled.**

**"Supper in twenty minutes"**

**"Okay" he put the phone to his ear.**

**"Clara are you alright?"**

**"I am now I know Daisy is"**

**"Is John still there?"**

**"I think he's nipped to the loo..."**

**"I do need a chat with him,I will ring him back in ten minutes...one thing though,Clara,he told me he as eaten earlier...Simon made an omelette?"**

**"He ate half,which I suppose is good,right?"she replied...At least he is eating something... I am keep a check,Rory...I will let you know if he plays up,so you can let Dr Barclay know"**

**"Thanks,Clara...ten minutes...speak to you soon,bye"**

**Rory hung up...He headed for his office.**

**'God I'm tired'**

**He sat down at his desk,didn't dare sit in on sofa,as he would go right to sleep if he did!**

**Soon as he had talked to John,he was going to eat and go to bed...think Amy Would make sure of that!**

**A/N**

**So far so good...**

**John tells Rory about what happened,**

**at the hotel after he left to pick up Daisy.**

**Rory tells him about the gossips!**

**Rory and Amy take**

**Tom and Daisy out for the day.**

**There is a surprise for them.**

**But what?**

**Come on...**

**Please read and review.**

**Next chapter soon.**


	68. Chapter 68

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 68**

**Rory was sat at his desk,he waited fifteen minutes,and then picked up his phone.**

**It rang three times before it was picked up and he heard John's,voice say.**

**"Hello,mate are you okay? Clara said you wanted a word?"**

**"Hmm...Daisy's fine,Amy's putting her to bed"**

**...But that's,****not**** what you wanted to talk to me about,is it Rory?"**

**John said to him.**

**"No...the police,John what happened after I left?"**

**"They've removed the trunks,like Detective Baker said**

**they would "J****ohn replied.**

**"...And..."**

**"They had a quick look in the attic,but decided to leave it until tomorrow the lighting up there is,not great...won't be until the work is done"**

**"Did you manage to sort out the builders for another day?"**

**Rory asked him.**

**"Thursday was,the only time I could rearrange it. Still it might be as,well because I said I'd take Clara,shopping,Tuesday and Wednesday she has to see the Nurse at the surgery" **

**"Don't forget you have to see Dr Barclay on Monday at three" Rory said.**

**"You won't use this as an excuse to get out of going? I know,your feeling better,and I'm sorry to keep pushing this John...but you still need ... to talk..."**

**Rory was getting tired now. Enough was enough for today. He was going to flip,if John started to try to get out of seeing the Doctor.**

**"...Rory...I promised I will go,chances are the attic will have been searched by the end of Sunday and if they don't find anything...**

**'Which I hope they don't' he said to himself.**

**"...Things should be back to normal by Monday. "I'm on my mobile,Mum can ring if there is,any real problems... Besides Simon will be here"**

**"How is Auntie?"**

**"Alright,I think. It was the shock...plus what I'd put her through as well,didn't help"**

**John sounded slightly upset when he mentioned what had happened to him in the last few day's.**

**"John...you have to try and forget that,think positive..."**

**"I know" John continued.**

**" It's just...I don't want Mum upset anymore...Rory...this Hotel,it's her life. I know she has handed the running of it over to me,I don't want to let her down either"**

**"John...you won't,look you are not blaming yourself are you ? I mean this is like Clara said,who ever put those bodies in the trunks... it's their fault right?"**

**"Yes...but people talk! Put more to it!"**

**"Well that's one of the things I wanted a word with you about"**

**Rory began to tell him what happened when he picked Daisy up from her party.**

**What was going on at the hotel was being noticed. John interrupted him.**

**"Oh God Rory,what if this stops the guests coming? I mean we're only small, people like that though...the quiet...the peace..."**

**"John,look " Rory said,then.**

**"I think I quashed the rumour"**

**Telling him about the mild threat he'd made about taking anyone to court who put more,to what was going on.**

**"John people talk,you know,that happens,your an ex solicitor yourself,right?"**

**"...Yes..." he replied.**

**"Tadchester,is only a small place, Auntie is well known and liked. People are not going to think she went mad one night and did away with one of the guests! The truth will come out. Besides the note that was in the second trunk...1958...bit before Auntie's time,even...right?"**

**"I told her that. Rory I think we should keep this between us,I don't think we should tell her,what's being said? Tell Amy if you want to...I will tell Clara"**

**"I think so as well,mate"**

**Rory gave a big yawn then.**

**"...Sorry..."**

**"Don't apologise...Rory you must be knackered, especially with what I've put you through the last two days...I'm very grateful you were here,thank you..." Pausing...**

**"I know you are going out tomorrow,so I will let you get to bed...I will ring you about nine tomorrow night? You should be back? Let you know what's happening"**

**"Okay...John,any...real problems,you will ring?"**

**" I'm sure there won't be,thanks again,mate...sleep well"**

**"Oh,I will,night John"**

**"Night...love to Daisy"**

**"I'll tell her"**

**Smiling, Rory hung up...**

**'Oh I will sleep' he thought.**

**By now it was nearly ten thirty,Amy put her head round the door,**

**"Hey,stupid face,suppers ready..."**

**"What?!" Rory looked up with tired eyes.**

**"Oh,Amy...yeah just coming"**

**Rory stood up,and his legs went from under him,he grabbed at the desk...**

**'Oh Fuck!'**

**He thought as the room swayed and spun.**

**"RORY!"**

**Alarmed,Amy hurried over to him,he hadn't fallen,with his eyes closed was still holding on to the desk. She didn't know which was whiter the wall,or Rory's face.**

**"Rory...Sweetheart...?"**

**Rory felt Amy's arm round him,her voice as though from a long way off at first. He chanced opening his eyes. Her worried face looked back at him.**

**"A-Amy..."**

**He was breathing slowly to stop himself throwing up.**

**Letting go of the desk with one of his hands,touched her face with it.**

**"I'm, a-alright...j- just stood up to quick,that's,all"**

**Rory's colour was starting to come back.**

**The sick feeling was,passing somewhat.**

**Amy took charge.**

**"Okay,Rory why don't you come over,sit on the sofa,I'll bring your supper in here..."**

**"No...the desk chair will be fine,Amy if I sit on the sofa,I will go to sleep, I really need to eat,even your cooking!" he joked.**

**"Well,come on then,sit...down"**

**Amy helped him back towards the chair. She pointed at him.**

**"Stay there, its only because your not feeling so good that I'm not giving you a smack for that crack about my cooking" **

**"Hey that,rhymes" he said.**

**With a look up at her.**

**She kissed his head.**

**"Rory...shut up! I'll go get you a tray,back soon"**

**The door closed. Rory put his head in his hands.**

**'That was close' he thought.**

**Twice now he had nearly past out. Clara might tell Amy,he hoped she wouldn't.**

**How much longer could he keep going with this? He wanted to,would his body let him? Perhaps when he'd eaten, had a nights sleep,it would all be okay? John apart from a few niggles seemed to be getting on with it. Long as he didn't have to keep dashing between here and Tadchester,maybe things were going to be alright.**

**The next two weeks,at least he would be here in their house,where he could keep an eye on him. Just had to get to Friday.**

**Amy came back with a tray then with his supper on it.**

**"The lamb chops, I think they've been keeping warm to long...there a bit dried up, everything else is okay"**

**She looked at him as she put the tray down in front of him on his desk.**

**"I can do you some soup,if you don't want it?"**

**Rory tried to hide a smile...there was nothing wrong with Amy's cooking for all that he and John ribbed her about it. True in the early days when they were first married,She would either half cook things or burn them.**

**Ten years,of marriage had seen her turn into a good cook. Now it was just part of the fun.**

**It was,a competition between him and John to see who could wind her up the most...usually it was John that won! Amy took it all in good part...**

**"...You don't want it then...?"**

**Amy went to take the tray away. Rory stopped her...he really was hungry now...**

**"Amy,I will eat the charcoal,I mean the chops...I'm famished..."**

**He started to eat.**

**Amy sat watching him,knowing that he had been joking about her cooking to cover up how shattered he was. In fact,she,was getting so worried about his health. Much as she loved her Raggedy Man,she loved Rory more.**

**"What... No coffee?"**

**"...Not tonight...drink the juice,better for you..."**

**Rory looked at her,putting his knife and fork down on the plate, picking up the glass of Orange juice that was besides it.**

**"...Rory...I-I ,your..."**

**He noticed a tear roll down her cheek.**

**She quickly brushed it away with her hand.**

**"Amy...what is it?" Putting the glass down,then taking hold of her hand in his.**

**She looked away from him...**

**"Talk to me please,tell me what your thinking,I'm so sorry I frightened you"**

**She,said to him.**

**"How long do you think you can keep this,up,Rory?"**

**"Keep what up?"**

**"You know,what I mean,dealing with John's problems while trying to get on with our lives?"**

**Rory pushed his hand through his,fringe...**

**"What would you have me do... Amy,abandoned him? Tell him,sod off! John your on your own?"**

**He shook his head at her...**

**"I don't think I can"**

**She sighed,**

**" Neither can I ,Rory"she said,**

**"But what If he needs you? Running between here and Tadchester...you are going to kill yourself,your not getting enough sleep for a start.**

**You could crash your car when you are doing it?"**

**"...Amy I won't..."**

**"How do you know that,Rory?"**

**"Because if I feel like,I did tonight,I won't drive,or even go on the train. Amy I don't think I will have to dash anywhere to help John.I think he has reached a turning point now"**

**"Do you think so?"**

**"Hmm,look we've both known John a long time, now he's met Clara,got Daisy who he thinks the,world of.**

**The twins as well.I don't think he would do anything to lose that.**

**He's fought so long and hard to get the family he wants"**

**Amy looked at him.**

**"You don't think,he would...?"**

**"Would,what,Amy? Take an overdose? No I don't. I have faith in him. Oh I know Clara,and Auntie are monitoring his,meds at the moment, I think that won't be for long...**

**... In the last two days he did have a wobble or two.**

**Since I gave him the extra pill, he seemed to come out of it"**

**Pausing...**

**" Though none of us wanted it to happen,this crisis at the hotel seems,to have given him a new lease of life as well"**

**"Oh,in what way"**

**...He seems,to be back to the 'I'm in charge' John he,was... sorting things"**

**Rory squeezed her hand,excitedly.**

**"Amy you should have seen him.**

**It could be the making of him,it was like the old John was back! It might be the best thing Auntie,has done making him Manager"**

**"Do you think this talking to Dr Barclay will help as well?" Amy said then.**

**"Yes,I do...this is what he needs,to bring it all out, what happened to him.I know we thought a few days ago that he was better, then he went back in on himself..."**

**Amy looked at Rory as he was trying to explain to her how,why John had been behaving that way in the last few days.**

**"...That wasn't his fault...**

**...It was when he had to tell Auntie and Clara what his so called ****Dad ****tried**** to do to him that caused it. I also think it would have been a lot worst if he had gone further with what he tried to do to him"**

**Rory who was looking really tired now,had been holding onto Amy's hand why he was,telling her all this, said tearfully.**

**A-Amy...I love you,but I can't leave him to it...I just can't!"**

**Amy touched his face,**

**"I know,and I am not going to ask you to...I love him as much as you...I know it's,a big ask though. Please try not to get ill yourself... okay?" **

**Rory letting her hand go then scrubbing at his,face,yawned.**

**"Amy,I'm going to try and get some early nights in the next few days,catch up on my sleep..."**

**"Well you can start now...it's after eleven. If we're going on this picnic tomorrow,you should"**

**She leaned across the desk and kissed him.**

**"I love you stupid face..."**

**Kissing her back,Rory got slowly to his feet,his legs,still felt wobbly, least the room wasn't spinning any more.**

**He felt better after his supper,maybe a nights sleep would do the trick as,well?**

**"...I forgot to ask...is Daisy alright?" he said.**

**"Well you were busy looking for somewhere to lie down,through I think the bed is,better than your office floor!"**

**Amy was tidying the plates,and cutlery Rory had used onto the tray to take back to the kitchen. Looking over at him.**

**"...She was out like a light... you'll have two little demons jumping on you in the morning,so you had better get some sleep! I'll just tidy the kitchen and then I'll be up...go...**

**She grinned as Rory groaned,walking out of the office.**

**"...Oh no..."**

**Amy knew that Rory really enjoyed the time with Tom first thing,as he would with Daisy,she planned to let him sleep late if she could.**

**After all this picnic,they didn't need to go until lunchtime.**

**Tom and Daisy could be kept busy helping her preparing the food and could still jump on Rory...just a little later!**

**Smiling at that picture in her head,Amy turned the office light off and took the tray back to the kitchen.**

**Sunday Morning 9.30am**

**Amy was in the kitchen giving Tom and Daisy their breakfast.**

**Their bedroom door had started to open at eight thirty,even that was late for Tom. He had gone to bed much later than usual the night before. Both children had tried to head towards,the bed,but Amy had been ready for them.**

**Putting on her dressing gown,and with a quiet,**

**"...Shush... let Uncle Rory have a lie -in. You can come back up later and jump on him. Come on,downstairs after breakfast you can both help me get this picnic ready...okay?"**

**"Cool..." Tom said. Jumping up and down with excitement. Then going out of the bedroom door in front of her. Daisy shook her head after him as,he went.**

**"Boys..." she said. Giving Amy a girls...together look.**

**She smiled at that...**

**" Uncle Rory and John would be just as bad if he were here,come on let's go,sweetheart"**

**Amy went to shut the door behind them. Rory turned over muttering something that sounded like...**

**"Go away...five more minutes ..."**

**Amy going back in,knew he hadn't really woken and was dreaming. She put the covers back over and kissing him lightly on the head,then followed the two children downstairs.**

**In the kitchen,Amy got the cereals,out of the cupboard and put them on the table,with a jug of milk...**

**"Daisy,What do you want?"**

**Putting the bowls and,spoons in front of both children.**

**"Tom likes rice crispies, I've,got cornflakes as,well"**

**"Auntie Amy,I thought we were going to make sandwiches?...When will Uncle Rory be getting up? What time will we go...?"**

**Tom asking one question after the other,not pausing for breath or for her to answer.**

**Amy smiled...**

**"Sweetheart,there is,plenty of time...look have your breakfast and then when your,both dressed you can help me make sandwiches,okay? Picnics are best in the afternoons. Its,early yet...Uncle Rory will be up soon,he didn't get home until late don't forget"**

**Daisy said then, pausing from eating her cornflakes. Looked over at her.**

**"Auntie Amy will Uncle Rory be alright? He was so tired yesterday at Mummy's flat,yawning and rubbing his eyes"**

**Amy looked at Daisy,a miniature version of Clara,worrying about others just like her Mother.**

**"It was a long day for him yesterday,Daisy, helping John at the hotel"**

**'Though they didn't get very far,other things got in the way'...she thought.**

**"He will be fine after a lie in,everybody needs a lie in now and then"**

**"And it is Sunday,Mummy and John like a lie in on Sunday expect they are as well"**

**Daisy finished,going back to her cornflakes.**

**"Expect they are" **

**Amy turning to put the kettle on to make a coffee, didn't think so,looking at clock.**

**It was after ten. The police would be searching the attic by now.**

**Making herself a coffee,she put a plate of toast in the middle of the table and opening the little jars that were,also there.**

**Strawberry for Daisy,Tom loved the blackberry. Sitting down at the table with a piece of toast herself,said...**

**"When you have both finished,go and get dressed then come back down here. Don't go into Uncle Rory,go past quietly.**

**He will wake up soon enough. It will be a nice surprise for him then,the picnic all ready"**

**Both children,got up and went to the door...**

**Amy as she was putting the breakfast dishes,into the dishwasher said,**

**"No falling out now,Tom,let Daisy use the bathroom first"...**

**"...Yes,Auntie Amy..."**

**They went upstairs,she could hear them both giggling together...and there was a quiet,**

**"Shush...don't wake Uncle Rory,Tom"**

**from Daisy.**

**Amy smiled at that...it was going to be so good for them both to have Daisy here,especially so for Tom.**

**When the kitchen was tidy again,least until they started to prepare the picnic. Amy went upstairs,going into their room,Rory was still fast asleep, on his back.**

**She collected her clothes and headed for the bathroom next door.**

**Getting a quick shower,then dressing in jeans and t shirt. Amy brushing her hair,tied it back.**

**Looking at her reflection in the mirror.**

** Sometimes,she thought it would be nice to have it cut short for the convenience. When she had mentioned it to Rory, he had replied...**

**..."Don't you bloody dare,unless,you want a divorce...It's your crowning glory"...**

**There was a knock on the door.**

**"...Amy...is that you in there?"**

**Rory's,voice came from outside the door.**

**Opening the door,Amy dragged him inside and shut the door quickly.**

**" You are,suppose to be still asleep"**

**She said,to him.**

**"Tell my bladder that!" he grumbled..."Could you..."**

**Rory pointed to the toilet,which Amy was stood in front of.**

**" Oops... Sorry,sweetheart..."**

**She moved out the way...**

**"God that's better...what time is it?..." he yawned as he used the loo.**

**"Quarter to eleven,Rory go back to bed"**

**He pulled the flush,after washing his hands,put his arms,round Amy.**

**"How,about you come,with me,Mrs Williams...?"**

**Amy raised her eyebrows,at him...**

**" Well your feeling better! Rory,much as I'd love to,we haven't got time for a 'tumble' this morning"**

**She tried to pull away from him.**

**"I've sent Tom and Daisy upstairs to get dressed,then their going to help me get the picnic ready"**

**Rory looking like a kid who had his toy taken off him... Still holding Amy by the waist.**

**"Five minutes..." he pouted,pointing to the toilet...**

**" ...WE.. have done it,in here before...!****"**

**Amy raised her eyebrows,at that,he was feeling better.**

**It was,weeks,since Rory had felt like that!**

**"****But**** we didn't have two children in the house"**

**Amy replied...his hands moving upwards now kissing ,her neck,then her face.**

**"Hmm...Amy..."**

**Rory was kissing her all over,then moving her towards,the toilet.**

**Amy was kissing him back,until...**

**"Auntie Amy we're going downstairs now!"**

**Tom's voice called to her.**

**Amy in the throes of passion stopped kissing Rory and stuttered...**

**"O-okay...T-Tom I'll be down in five minutes"**

**Rory with his head against her neck,let go of the breath he was holding. They looked at each other and started to giggle.**

**"Well,that's one way to kill the passion"**

**Amy said.**

**"It might be a way to get a baby,If we think we're going to get caught" Rory replied.**

**Amy stopped laughing then...pulled back to look at him.**

**"Rory...it wasn't your fault,the miscarriage"**

**"I know...anymore than it was yours. I understand that,Amy. We both have been so busy lately,with John and Clara,now the kids.**

**By the time we get to bed tonight,it will be for sleep...not sex! I just thought if we could,it might get the ball rolling...**

**Amy,pointing to the toilet...**

**"Rory,much as I'd like to stay in here to do it with you,I've got two children and a picnic to see to"**

**He looked so disappointed that she kissed him again.**

**"Look,stupid face I can't promise that I will be in the mood tonight. Maybe,we'll see,but if not" **

**Pausing then...**

**"John and Clara will be coming in five days,there will be times,while their here that they will take both children out. And we can..." **

**She nibbled on Rory's ear...whispering what he could do to her then...**

**"...God, Amy...!"**

**Suddenly Daisy's,voice shouted from the bottom of the stairs.**

**"...Auntie Amy...Tom's being naughty,he's,taking things,out of the fridge...!"**

**Rory looked at Amy...Then...**

**"I think you'd better go and see what their up to,I'll have a,shower and get dressed..."**

**"No don't get dressed..." **

**She,stopped him,as he went to go and switch the shower on.**

**When he looked at her,in puzzlement.**

**"Why not?"**

**"I promised them both they could jump on you...your not getting out of it,stupid face...They want to surprise,you about the picnic..."**

**"Okay...okay,I'll get back in bed,after my shower,they still can"**

**"I'll bring you up a coffee"**

**Amy said with a final kiss, heading for the door. Turning back.**

**"Later..."**

**Back downstairs...When she went into the kitchen,Tom was trying to open one of the packets of ham she'd bought for the sandwiches.**

**Hands on her hips...**

**"What do you think your doing,Tom?"**

**Guilty, biting his lip, he put the packet down.**

**"I want to make a sandwich for Uncle Rory" **

**He said.**

**"Well...like I said...we've got plenty or time, think he's,starting to stir now"**

**Putting the ham back in the fridge,She took a loaf of bread opened it and buttered a few slices,**

** putting a few more slices in front of both children,said.**

**"I want you to butter those,I will take a cup of coffee upstairs.**

**Once you've made your sandwiches you can go up and see Uncle Rory,while I get everything else ready...okay?"**

**Both of them nodded as they started to butter the bread,Tom watching Daisy (who had obviously done this,before!)**

**Turning round from the counter with a coffee cup in her hand,Amy said.**

**"Five minutes,I will take this,up to Uncle,Rory,then I will come back down,open the ham and get the salad out so you can finish them off. No nonsense,behave...Tom"**

**Upstairs,Rory was showered,shaved and back in bed with his eyes closed.**

**He opened one eye, saw it was only Amy with Coffee,sat up quickly taking the cup from her.**

**"Thanks...No kids?"**

**"I've left them buttering bread,their going to make,sandwiches for you" **

**"What for breakfast!"**

**"No for later...I will bring them up here in ten minutes,can you keep them occupied while I finish off...get everything else ready?"**

**"Course..." he grinned.**

**"Tom driving you mad is he?"**

**Amy smiled back at him.**

**"I love him dearly,you know what he's like. Wants everything done at once,and out the door...now. Please Rory,I don't mind going on this picnic, but I can get done quicker if your keeping him out of my hair"**

**"Alright..let them up here then"**

**Amy took the empty cup from him.**

**He was looking better than last night.**

**Cornering her in the bathroom earlier proved that. It wasn't that she didn't want to...she did. It was as she told him...time.**

**They would try to have sex later,as long as they could get the kids,in bed early enough.**

**Amy went back downstairs.**

**"Uncle Rory's just waking up,let's make these sandwiches"**

**Setting slices,of ham,cheese and salad on the table,she showed Tom how to make a sandwich for Rory.**

**She had to stop him from putting cucumber on,which she knew he hated.**

**When both children had made a sandwich each and Amy had sealed them in cling flim...Tom's was doorstep size,and Amy was looking forward to seeing Rory try to eat it!**

**"Shall we go and see if Uncle Rory is awake?"**

**"Yah..."**

**Tom said,hurrying out of the kitchen heading for the stairs in front of them both.**

**When they got to the bedroom door,Amy opened it.**

**With a look over at the bed,to Rory who must have heard them coming,and was a heap under the bedclothes.**

**"Well..I ****THINK **** it's time Uncle Rory was up,don't you?"**

**Tom ran over to the bed,and jumped on top of Rory,Daisy didn't look so sure at first, with a look back at Amy who said ...**

**"Go on,sweetheart,I'm sure you wouldn't like Tom to have all the fun...get ****lazy**** Uncle Rory up...!"**

**"Oi I,heard that..."**

**Rory's muffled voice came from under the bedclothes.**

**He was laughing as Tom tried to get under the bedclothes with him,Daisy ran across then and tried to help pull them off him, they both started to tickle Rory...**

**"...Stop it...stop it...I give in...I give in...two on one...not fair..."**

**Amy smiled as she stood near the door with her arms folded.**

**"Okay...I surrender..." he said finally hands,in the air...**

**The three of them lay on the bed,Rory with his arms round two giggling children,trying to get his breath back.**

**"Well that's a record,less than five minutes" **

**Amy said,picking the bedclothes up from the floor and putting them over the chair.**

**"Right,its half eleven. I'm going to finish getting the picnic ready...so I want you all downstairs by twelve"**

**Amy headed to the door,looking back at the three on the bed,**

**"Ready...and this room...tidy"**

**She went to close the door,Rory put his tongue out at her. Amy came back in then.**

**"...I saw that,Rory Williams...behave..yourself" She shook her head,looking at the children.**

**"I think John is teaching you tricks like that"**

**Pointing her finger and tutting at him.**

**Tom and Daisy,still sat with Rory.**

**They grinned at the telling off he was getting from Auntie Amy.**

**..."Nanny tells John off when he's naughty..."**

**Daisy piped up.**

**"She told him off yesterday for not eating his breakfast"**

**"Did she smack his bottom..."**

**Tom asked then.**

**Rory trying to keep a straight face looked over at Amy who was trying to do the same.**

**"...Will you smack Uncle Rory's bottom?..."**

**Tom asked Amy ...**

**"Well,that depends..."**

**She replied tongue in cheek with a look over at Rory.**

**"Err...I think we'd better,tidy this room and get ready to go out,come on kids...I'll make the bed. Go and get your things"**

**Rory getting off the bed, quickly picked up the bed clothes,from the chair,burying his head in them,trying to control his laughter.**

**Tom and Daisy headed upstairs to the attic floor to get shoes,and other things they would need for the day out.**

**When the door closed,Rory dared to look over at Amy then,when he realised it was safe to look,started to make the bed.**

**"What...?" Amy was giggling.**

**"Well you could help...you started it,reminding Tom about smacking John's bottom!" he said.**

**"I don't think so..." **

**Giving him a wide birth.**

**"If I let you get me on that bed,we won't get out,today. Anyway,Daisy did that...not me!" **

**She paused,trying to calm down herself.**

**"Would I do that?" Rory said softly.**

**Amy looked at him.**

**"Yes you would" Then.**

**"Tom strikes again" she said.**

**"Though it has,given me some ideas...for later!"**

**"Don't you have,a picnic to finish?"**

**Rory grumbled in good humour.**

**Amy smiling at him, headed for the door.**

**"...Tom doesn't forget anything " **

**Rory said as she went...**

**...Neither do I,you wait until tonight...Mrs Williams..."**

**"Looking forward to it...'Mr Pond'"**

**Amy retorted back,as she shut the door behind her.**

**Rory grinned,as he finished tidying the room and got dressed.**

**Amy hadn't called him,'****Mr ****Pond' ****since...well before the miscarriage.**

**It was something John started,before their wedding...**

**... That they should be Mr and Mrs Pond,not Williams,because Amy definitely wore the trousers. Rory had protested with a laugh to him.**

**" That's not how it is...!**

**"...Oh yes it is..."**

**John looking over Rory's shoulder, saying...with a wave...**

**"Hello Pond..."**

**"...Yeah...right John..." **

**Thinking he was,trying to trick him.**

**Amy had come into the room without him seeing her and had caught the end of their coversation had whispered in his ear...making him jump.**

**"Oh yes it is... don't you forget it! 'Mr Pond!'**

**That was,how it started.**

**Rory hadn't been called Mr Pond since the miscarriage.**

** He did try to retaliate back by calling her Mrs Williams now and then...**

**He came back to today... suppose in away,they were talking about the miscarriage. **

**They would talk about it in bed tonight,he hoped.**

**Also they would ... do ****THAT****! as well. Thinking about it,they hadn't had sex since well before it happened.**

**When Amy had lost the baby...it had hurt,hurt a lot.**

**They had both lost themselves in John and Clara's problems.**

**It had helped,maybe hindered. Well,some of the time.**

**Rory all though sorting things,out for John felt as though Amy was pushing him away. Feelings,of jealousy,most that he'd forgotten had come back.**

**What did he have to be jealous of? John had,Clara,Daisy,and now the twins,Rory couldn't hate him for it. He was his best friend.**

**Though they fell out from time to time...always,would be!**

**Even if they didn't have a baby,they still had Tom.**

**They could give him a good life,Amy and him together...**

**Though it had been only just over a week,he was determined they would adopt him. He had told Amy a year's time, perhaps less if they could.**

**Suddenly Amy's voice came from downstairs...**

**"...Oi,stupid face,are we going on this picnic,it's gone twelve," **

**there was a slight bang then.**

**"Tom...don't play with that ball in the house...RORY...NOW!"**

**"...Sorry,Auntie Amy"**

**"COMING!" **

**He shouted back as he headed out the room,and downstairs.**

**The three of them were waiting for him near the door.**

**Tom,with the football in his hands,held, it out to show him.**

**"Look Uncle Rory...it's,a present from Daisy"**

**" Very nice,Tom,but you know what the rule...is..."**

**"...We don't play football,in the house..."Tom finished.**

**..."Sorry...Uncle Rory,I forgot... isn't it cool" **

**Rory smiled,**

**"Yes it is,I hoped you said thank you to Daisy for it?"**

**..."Thank you,again Daisy..."**

**"Thank you for my present as well,sweetheart,it's really lovely...have you seen the lovely box she bought for me,Rory? I will put it upstairs on my dressing table,later"**

**Amy went into the kitchen and came back into the hall with the picnic hamper then. Daisy going pink with pleasure at the praise she was getting.**

**Rory smiled.**

**It might buck Daisy up after yesterday's upset he thought.**

**"...Right,kids...let's get going...Yes Tom,you can take the football,if it goes into the boot with the hamper,we can play on the beach.**

**Rory put the hamper into the boot,taking the ball from Tom,he was a figit as it was without a ball in his hands.**

**"Where are we going,stupid face?"**

**Amy asked as she got into the passenger seat after settling Tom and Daisy in the back seat.**

**"Southend on sea. John and I ****went there,when we were training.**

**The beach is quite good for the kids,there is also a couple of restaurants on the front,thought we could have a meal later,save you cooking when we get back?"**

**"...Who said I was...it's,your turn..."**

**"Amy...it might be easier to eat out,it will be late,when we get back"**

**"Still not getting out of it...the next day then..."**

**She said back to him.**

**"Cooked breakfast? Tomorrow morning?"**

**Rory said then.**

**He didn't cook very often leaving it mainly to Amy,but he did do a,mean 'fryup'. **

**He had done a couple when John and Clara were staying with them,last time.**

**Before John started his food phobia.**

**"...Kay"**

**Tom started to cheer as Rory pulled away from the driveway.**

**"Hurray!... we're going to the seaside..."**

**The journey to Southend would take an hour, being Sunday,the roads,were clear. Amy played eye spy with Tom and Daisy,as they had only been on the road ten minutes,when Tom started to ask...**

**"Uncle Rory..."**

**"Yes mate...?"**

**"How long until we get there?"**

**"Forty minutes,Tom..."**

**"Oh...right"**

**It went quiet then...another five minutes passed.**

**"Uncle Rory..."**

**"Yes...?"**

**"How long now?"**

**Rory, who if he hadn't been driving would have closed his eyes...he hoped Tom wasn't going to ask him the same question for the next thirty odd minutes. **

**"Still half an hour,mate..."**

**"...Oh...okay..."**

**That was when Amy started the game of eye spy. With a look to Rory. He was a good driver,but he didn't need an excitable eight year old ****asking 'Are we there yet?' every five minutes.**

**Rory was,so glad that the next half hour past fairly quickly.**

**The sea front at Southend came into view. This time it was Daisy who said.**

**"Uncle Rory..."**

**"Yes...sweetheart?"**

**"I need the loo..."**

**"...Can you hold on...two minutes ..."**

**then to Amy.**

**"There is toilets on the front near the prom,think I can park there as,well..."**

**"I don't need to go,Uncle Rory" **

**Tom piped up then.**

**"Yes,you do,Tom...we'll all go...once we're on the beach,I'm not traipsing back because you decide you need to go then!"**

**By this time Rory was,parking up near the prom.**

**They all got out.**

**"I'll take Tom,you take Daisy...then we'll meet at the beach shop over there,then I will get the hamper out the back of the car "**

**Rory nodded his head towards,the shop on the front.**

**Taking Daisy by the hand Amy smiled.**

**Has they all walked towards the toilets hearing Rory say to Tom.**

**"Your football will be fine,where it is,Tom...you don't need it while we spend a penny.I will get it when I get the hamper out..."**

**His voice stopping as they both disappeared into the gents side.**

**Once Amy had been herself,she was,washing her hands as Daisy came up behind her.**

**"Okay,sweetheart?"**

**Waiting why she washed her hands,said.**

**"Shall we go and rescue Uncle Rory from Tom's questions? I expect your hungry now? I am"**

**Taking,Amy's hand again...**

**"Yes, can we,give Uncle Rory his sandwiches,Aunty Amy?"**

**"Yes as soon as we're settled on the beach. I expect he will be hungry now,he didn't have any breakfast,getting up late...Think he will be ready for Tom's doorstep?"**

**They both giggled coming back outside into sunlight.**

**They noticed Rory and Tom at the front of the beachshop.**

**Both were looking at buckets and spades.**

**He looked over to Amy, smiled at**** them both.**

**"I thought a bucket and spade each,maybe a fishing net in case there's any crab pools,John found a couple when we came last time"**

**When Amy looked puzzled at him,he said.**

**"...I'll explain,when we're on the beach...I will pay for these,then go and get the hamper out of the car"**

**Leaving Amy with the children.**

**Daisy had chosen a red bucket,Tom's was blue. Also the fishing net, which Amy had to hold.**

**Rory went inside the shop to pay.**

**" I want to pay for..."he started to say looking up from taking his credit card out of his,wallet.**

**The man behind the counter looked at him and said.**

**..."Hello,again...Rory wasn't it?"**

**It was Will...**

**...'Oh my God...!'Rory thought,**

** the card in his hand.**

**Didnt believe who he was,seeing.**

**A/N**

**Well,who would have believed it.**

**Of all places for Daisy's Dad to turn up.**

**So what now?**

**Will Rory let him know,that Daisy is outside with**

**Amy?**

**Also what is happening at the hotel with John and Clara?**

**Next chapter up soon.**

**Please read and review.**


	69. Chapter 69

**Return to Love**

**Chapter 69**

**Rory stared at the man in front of him,the credit card in his hand slipping from his fingers to the floor. Bending down to pick it up.**

**He straightened back up saying to him,**

**"What are you doing here?"**

**"Well,since its my shop,working"**

**Will said back to him.**

**"I suppose your here on holiday? For the day?"**

**"Yes,one of those,can I pay for two buckets and spades,also a fishing net?"**

**Rory glanced through the shop window,where he could see Amy laughing at something, Daisy or Tom must have said to her.**

**Will following his eye line said then,**

**"Is that your wife,your son and daughter?"**

**Rory opened his mouth to answer him,**

**Daisy turned her head towards,the window then to waved to him.**

**"...Or is it ****my**** daughter,Daisy?"**

**Looking at Rory,daring him to lie!"**

**"You know it is,so don't play games!"**

**Rory said between gritted teeth.**

**"I could tell It was soon as I saw her,she looks like Clara,even though she has my colouring"**

**Will had been looking out the window at the scene in front of him. Turning back to Rory.**

**"You,know,Rory,this might have been good fortune that I bumped into you today. I was going to ring you next week,ask you to arrange a meeting with Clara for me"**

**Pausing then said lightly...**

**"Perhaps we could,sort out a time now?" **

**"I don't discuss office business,when I'm out with my '****family'**

**Rory said then,stressing ****family****,looking towards,the window.**

**"Can I pay for this stuff,the kids,want to get to the beach"**

**He had been in the shop,over ten minutes now,Amy was looking towards the window.**

**"What's,the matter?" she mouthed at him. Shaking his head at her,turned back to Will.**

**"You have the business card I gave you?"**

**Will nodded at him.**

**"I suggest you ring my office,make an appointment. I will tell Clara and ****John **** you want to see them,it concerns them both. Now can I pay?"**

**Rory held his,credit card out to him.**

**Will said.**

**"Why don't you have them on me? Present for the kids"**

**"No thanks..."**

**Still holding the card to him.**

**"Okay,have it your way. If I wanted to bribe you,Rory,I would hardly do it with beach toys!"**

**Taking the card from him, putting it into the machine. Rory tapped in his number,then gave him a receipt.**

**"Thank you..." **

**Rory started to walk to the door,**

**" I'll speak to you soon,Rory. I will make that appointment"**

**Rory paused then,not turning round, was afraid he would say something he would regret.**

**"You do that!"**

**Rory came outside then,blinking in the sunlight.**

**" You were a long time, was there a problem?" **

**Amy said,coming over to him.**

**"Think I need a new,card from the bank,the machine wouldn't except it,the first time. It's alright now"**

**Eyes adjusting to the light,Rory could see Will stood near the entrance to his shop. He didn't know what it was,there was something about him,he didn't trust!**

**"Right,come on kids,the beach. Don't know,about you.I'm starving,hungry. Ready for this picnic"**

**"****Hurray****! We're going to the beach!"**

**Tom cheered,running on ahead.**

**"Bye,Daisy."**

**Will's voice said then from the shop door.**

**He was stood leaning against the frame,with his arms folded.**

**Rory took hold of Daisy's hand,as she looked up at him.**

**"Uncle Rory, who's that?"**

**"It's nobody,sweetheart,just a man who runs,the shop"**

**Rory,not caring if Will heard,touched Daisy's head.**

**"Tom,wait I need to get the hamper from the car,you'd better come and get the football,if you want it"**

**He opened the boot,handing it to him.**

**"Here,you and Daisy wait near the steps,stay where Auntie Amy and I can see you,don't move from there."**

**"Kay,Uncle Rory..."**

**Tom the ball under one arm,the bucket and spade in the other,trailed to the steps that went down to the beach. Daisy followed.**

**Rory lifted the hamper from the boot,putting it on the path,while he locked it glanced across to the beachshop.**

**Will had gone back inside. Amy who had stayed near the car with him, put her hand on his arm.**

**"Okay,Rory,there is something, not the machine,rejecting your card. Besides,I know you have cash on you as well. Enough to pay for buckets and spades,what is it?**

**Rory sighed,Amy knew him to well.**

**"That was Will, it's his shop..."**

**"Daisy's Dad?"**

**Rory nodded at her.**

**"I did wondered how he knew her name"**

**"I didn't tell him..."**

**Rory said.**

**"He guessed it was her,by her likeness to Clara"**

**He paused then.**

**"He wants to see,Clara. Amy he had the ****bloody**** cheek to try and arrange an appointment with me,now.I told him to ring the office next week"**

**Amy looked over to Daisy and Tom who were waiting at the top of the steps for them both.**

**"Look,let's get the kids on the beach,it's not fair to keep them waiting"**

**She touched Rory's face.**

**"Besides you need something to eat,you didn't have breakfast.**

**We can talk about ****this ****later,okay?"**

**They went towards the steps to join the two children.**

**Meanwhile, The hotel the same time**

**John, sat in the office was getting frustrated. 'Two in the afternoon' he thought.**

**The police team had been there since eight that morning. Over six hours...Nothing had been found up to now.**

**...That they hadn't found anything...yet,was a good sign,he hoped. The police had searched through the boxes,in the attic,lots of them! Most of the junk that had been inside had been shifted downstairs into the skip by himself and Simon. Some of the boxes had contained books,more than John wanted to see ever again and had fallen apart,as soon as anyone touched them!**

**Because it was Sunday,Detective Baker had yet to put in an appearance.**

**Frank Wilson the pathologist,nice as he was,had turned up. But hadn't stayed, nothing had been found,so there was no point. He had gone back to the police lab,to start work on the bodies that had been found in the two trunks. **

**Kate, who was on reception duty for today,told him some of what she knew of was going on.**

**It was all being talked about in town. Which was what Rory had told him was happening. **

**It didn't sound as though it was,anything too maliciously involving his family.**

**Kate had told him that the ****rumour**** was two bodies,had been found,which was the truth,they couldn't deny that.**

**The door opened then,and his Mum came into the office. She was carrying a tray with coffee and sandwiches on. There was also a plate of Jammy Dodgers.**

**John yawned,stretched then looked over,smiling at her as she put it down on the desk where he sat.**

**" Is Clara still,upstairs,I hope she got her feet up?" He said.**

**"Hmm,she wanted to come down here with me,I've persuaded her to go for a nap,you were both up so early this morning"**

**Touching his,face.**

**You look washed out as well,sweetheart"**

**John shrugged.**

**"I'm alright..."**

**Mary poured the coffee,and put a plate with a couple of sandwiches on it in front of John. Ignoring the face he pulled.**

**Though he did pick up one of them,and started to eat.**

**Mary didn't comment,but was taking mental notes to tell Rory later,for when he could talk to Dr Barclay. John knew he was being watched,so far all was well,he hadn't played up...**

**"Where's Simon?"**

**He asked then after taking a mouthful of coffee.**

**"I've sent him for a rest as well" she paused.**

**"It is Sunday,John.I know,you didn't get as much as you wanted done in the attic,yesterday. Sweetheart you are both run ragged moving the stuff the police left near the lift entrance,today"**

**John took another sip of his coffee,**

**"Well,I suppose couldn't all be left there,as most of it was blocking the lift"**

**There is more to be moved,I suppose it could wait until tomorrow?"**

**He paused.**

**"That's if they've finished searching by then!"**

**John went to pick up one of the Jammy Dodgers, completely ignoring the other sandwich on his,plate...**

**"John..." his Mum said warningly.**

**"If you've got room for a biscuit,you've got room for another sandwich"**

**"But..."**

**"You know what the rule is?"**

**John sighed.**

**"Two sandwiches,then biscuits"**

**Putting the biscuit back on the plate,he picked up the sandwich instead. Bit into it.**

**John didn't sulk or moan. Old as he was,found that Mum was only treating him as a child,because most of the time he was acting like one. **

**Besides,he sort of enjoyed it. For it was as though they were,both making up for his,lost childhood.**

**She had been there for some,of it,but that was as his Aunt.**

**The phone rang then,John picked it up.**

**"Hello... " Pausing.**

**"Detective Baker,and how are you?"**

**Listening to what was being said,then.**

**"That's great,we can,I see,yes Wednesday,should be alright,long as it's afternoon. I have to take my fiancee to the Doctor's in the morning,say about two? See you then,and thanks"**

**John hung up, looked over at his Mum.**

**"Well,we can have the hotel back,the police have found nothing upstairs.**

**Detective Baker,is,coming to see me on Wednesday"**

**"So I heard" Mary said."And?"**

**"He's spent the day at the lab with Frank Wilson.**

**They seemed,to have worked out the mystery of the note that was in the second trunk,well most of it should know more by Wednesday"**

**John got up then stretching.**

**"Think I'll go for a walk"**

**Mary gave him a look.**

**"Mum,I'm fine,really. Clara might be up when I get back,don't worry I won't go far, only round the grounds"**

**Knowing that when John wanted to think,he liked being on his own. Walking to the door,then coming back,grinning,he grabbed a couple of the biscuits from the plate.**

**Mary shook her head after him as he went out the door,then looking over at his plate.**

**'Well he had nearly eaten both sandwiches' She thought.**

**There was only the crusts,which was a victory in its self. Maybe when Rory took John to see Dr Barclay tomorrow,they could start to get to the bottom of this food phobia business?**

**Mary put the cups and plates on the tray to take back upstairs.**

**John was eating,but she had to admit,it was hard going trying to persuade him.**

**He would eat only cereal,toast and Jammy Dodgers! Mary wasn't prepared to let him. She sat down at the desk. Now that John had gone,she could let her defences down.**

**For all that John was trying to get well,she was still very worried about him.**

**She was also very angry,not only with Mike for what he did to them both,but also with herself for letting him.**

**Tears started down her cheeks.**

**Because she was thinking about the past, had her back to the door,Mary didn't hear or see it open.**

**"Mum?" a pair of arms came round her.**

**"Please,don't cry...What is it,is it John?"**

**Clara had come into the room,expecting to find them both there.**

**Mary,taking the hankie from her pocket, wiping her eyes said.**

**" Why...did-did- he leave me alone?"**

**Clara seemed puzzled by the question,thinking maybe her and John had fallen out...**

**"Mum? John is he being difficult? Have you, had words?"**

**" John is fine, even behaving. Since Rory had that last talk with him,he's getting on with things"**

**Pausing then. Blowing her nose.**

**"I meant,Teddy. John's Dad. I loved him so much,but I hate him as well!"**

**She sounded so angry.**

**"Mum? I don't understand,I thought he was killed"**

**"Yes, he was. I hate him for leaving us.**

**How different our lives,would have been****.Not having to give up John.**

**We would have been a family, Clara. I hate myself ****so ****much **** for what I did to him leaving John with my sister and..and.."**

**She couldn't say his name.**

**"For what John is going through now"**

**"Mum,you did nothing,wrong,Rory and I we have both told you not one of us blames you,even John,I know,he doesn't."**

**Clara leaned over putting her cheek to hers. Arms around her.**

**"You can't change the past, I know he's still got problems to work through,John will get there"**

**Going round then to stand in front of her,placing her hand on her bump said to her.**

**"Isn't this the future? "**

**"...and Daisy"**

**Mary replied.**

**..."Yes,and Daisy"**

**Clara agreed.**

**" We don't forget them the ones,we've lost. We remember them.I miss my Mum every day,wonder what she would have thought of all this"**

**Pointing to her bump.**

**"Twins! she would have been so excited.**

**Loved Daisy,as well.****I found you,Your my Mum too,I love you"**

**She put her arms back round Mary,hugging her. **

**Mary hugged her back.**

**"Thank you,Clara.I'm so glad you came into our lives,into John's.**

**He's right,you do make things better"**

**She got up then,going to pick up the tray from the desk,**

**"I expect your looking for him? "**

**Clara,nodded,saying.**

**"I thought he was in here with you?"**

**" He went for a walk,might be in the **

**garden,Kate should know which way he went"**

**She walked towards the door. Saying.**

**" The Police are leaving,they have found nothing.**

**John will tell you more,when you find him"**

**"Well,that's good,isn't it"**

**Clara replied,opening the door for her.**

**"I'll go and find him,perhaps he'll eat dinner later,if he's had a walk,did he."**

**Looking at the remains on the tray.**

**"Some. With persuasion, he didn't play up. Go find him,Clara love,I'll see you both upstairs in a little while"**

**Mary went towards the lift,she felt better after her talk with Clara,she didn't ask her not to tell John she had got upset.**

**That wasn't fair,to ask her to keep secrets,from him. It wouldn't be a good start to their marriage.**

**Besides,John knew how things were,about his Dad,they had talked several times in the last few days,which was good wasn't it? The lift doors closed.**

**John had a quick word with Kate to tell her where he would be,if anyone was looking for him,then headed outside.**

**The two white vans on the car park,were,still there, the police team seemed to be packing up. John stopped to have a quick word with one of the men as he came out,behind him.**

**"Yes,Mr Smith,nothing up there at all,only junk"**

**"Oh there is plenty of that! Think whoever lived here before liked their books!"**

**John said back to him.**

**"So, I can start,dumping the rest of it now then?"**

**"If you have been given the green light from Detective Baker? He said he would call you"**

**"He has"**

**"Well we should be out of here,in the next hour"**

**He looked at his watch.**

**"Best finish packing the van"**

**"Thanks" John said,as the man walked away.**

**John went back round to the garden area. The lawn,where the trunks had been was a mess! Kicked up where the police had walked all over it,there were wheel markings where someone had used a trolley,maybe to move them.**

**He sat down on the garden swing that was in the corner. Looking at the mess.**

**'Well,that's another job to sort. I'm going to have to get in the gardening firm'**

**John thought.**

**Clara,asked Kate which way John had gone.**

**She pointed her towards,the garden area. Outside the building,heading that way,she saw him sat on the swing there.**

**Walking over towards him. Biting her lip,noticing the lawn.**

**The last time she had been out here. When she had fainted after finding,no she wasn't going to think about that!**

**John hadn't seen her approach,he looked up when a,shadow passed his,face.**

**"...Clara,sweetheart.I thought you were still asleep?"**

**"Couldn't settle..I was missing you"**

**He noticed she was rubbing her back. Starting,to his feet.**

**"Here,do you want to sit down?"**

**She smiled. Then sat. John did as,well putting his,arms round her.**

**"Clara,are,you alright?"**

**Asking her then.**

**"Hmm, I'm fine"**

**He was looking worried at her.**

**"John,it's part of the course,backache,so is the heartburn"**

**Clara snuggled into him.**

**"This Is nice.." Then."John can I ask you something? You won't fly off the handle with me? It's nothing nasty or anything"**

**John his eyes half closed,chin on top of her head, said then,thinking what ever it was he would listen,patiently.**

**"What is it Clara?"**

**She sat up slightly.**

**" Mum,you and her are getting on better now right? Do you still blame her for what happened to you?"**

**Clara sat up more,moving away from him,looking at his face,before turning away.**

**"I'm,sorry John I've no right,to ask you that question, it's just..." tailing off.**

**"What?"**

**John turned Clara's face to him,smiling at her.**

**"Sweetheart,I'm not cross,never ****ever**** be afraid to ask me anything. I know I've not be the easiest person to live with in the last few,weeks. We're going to be married soon, a couple,so shouldn't be keeping things from each other"**

**He paused,**

**"You wanted to know how,Mum and,me,are getting on?"**

**He looked away from her,into the distance.**

**"Clara,I was ****angry****, ****hurt**** at first,but Rory and Dr Barclay helped me through that.**

**Even though I didn't know,she was,'****Mum****,'she was always,there for me. If you see what I mean?"**

**Looking back to her.**

**"When she was your Aunt?"**

**Clara asked. **

**John seeing the look on her face said.**

**"Clara,is there a problem? Mum is,alright?"**

**"Course she is"**

**Clara,said quickly,biting her lip. John looked worried again.**

**" There is,something wrong!" **

**He started up from the swing. Began pacing.**

**"If she's ill,you should have told me!"**

**"John! Stop this,it's,nothing like that at all. I thought you were ****not**** going to get worked up?"**

**She put a hand out to him.**

**"Sweetheart,sit back down,Come on,"**

**In a tone to him that booked no nonsense.**

**He sat back down again next to her on the swing,took a couple of deep breaths holding Clara's hand as well said.**

**"Clara,I'm sorry.I will listen and I'm calm"**

**"Mum is alright,John,she's upset that's all"**

**Clara started to tell him then how she had found Mum in tears in the office. What she had told her about his Dad.**

**"She's upset because of what happened. I never thought how much this really affected her.I'm selfish,so far it as all been,me,me,me!"**

**"When,I spent the day at the hotel with her. She showed me all these photos of my Dad. She did get upset. I thought it helped her,talking about it"**

**"It probably did,sweetheart" Clara,touched his face,**

**" like you,she must feel short changed. How different,both your lives are to whatever they might have been. John,I told her that the twins,Daisy are the future you can remember the past"**

**"My Dad,I never knew him! So how can I?"**

**John sounded upset,by this.**

**"So,****you**** get Mum to tell ****you**** stories about him. Everything she can remember"**

**Putting his hand on her bump.**

**"And she can tell the Grandchildren as well. So can my Dad,tell them about my Mum"**

**"Clara,I'm sorry,your Mum,I never thought how much you would be hurting as well"**

**With tears,in her eyes,she said back to him.**

**"John,I do miss her. Because I got my Dad back,it helps"**

**She laughed.**

**"I will have to get him to tell me some stories as well. Sometimes I forget what she looked like, what she said, how she smiled! Until I look at the photos I have,it's nearly eighteen years,since I last saw her,I was Daisy's age"**

**John looking at the woman sat next to him on the swing,pulled her closer to him. Kissed the top of her head.**

**"I'm sorry,Clara.I forget sometimes that you have things that you must get upset over,it shouldn't always be about me.**

**You must miss your Mum a great deal? You had no one for seven years,not even your Dad"**

**Clara,said to him.**

**"Well that's all changed,now,I have you and Daisy,the twins"**

**Putting her hand,with John's over her bump.**

**"Got a Mum,thank you for letting me share yours"**

**"Sweetheart,you can share,anything of mine,you want,don't even have to ask"**

**John taking her hand, kissing it.**

**Clara,giggled.**

**"What is it?" John asked.**

**"Even,Jammy Dodgers?"**

**"Arh,well,maybe not those"**

**John was,trying to keep a straight face. Said.**

**"I'll have to find a new hiding place..."**

**Clara,dug him in the ribs.**

**"Didn't think so John Smith,I have to fight you and ****Daisy**** for them!"**

**"Oh yes"**

**"Yes!" Clara said. Starting to tickle him then.**

**"I'm the boss!"**

**"Clara,Clara,stop it,don't do that,**

**You know I can't stand! Stop!"**

**John was letting,her win,**

**"Say it,John! Who's the boss?"**

**"Okay, are uhh.I surrender! your the boss,your the boss!"**

**John with his hands trying to push Clara gently away.**

**Clara,taking his face in her hands kissing him.**

**" And never ever forget that"**

**John thought.**

**'God,I love this woman so much' **

**He said.**

**" Wonder how Rory and Amy are,getting on with Daisy? I do miss,her"**

**Clara turned to him,saying,**

**"I know you do sweetheart,so do I,but we will see her Friday. Talk to her tomorrow,I told Amy I would ring in the morning"**

**John smiled at her,**

**"Once everything is,sorted here,we will have two weeks together as a family. Get to know Tom as well?"**

**Clara snuggled back into him. Knew,he liked to spend time with Rory and Amy.**

**Which was good,as they were his oldest friends,they had been through such a lot, hoped it always would be like that between them. Also it included her as well.**

**"I'm looking forward to that. John,Mum said we can have the hotel back?"**

**"Yes,nothing was found upstairs,Thank God,l can finish clearing now ready for when the builders getting here on Thursday.**

**If we're lucky perhaps they can start work while we're away in the next two weeks?"**

**Clara shivered.**

**"Are you cold,sweetheart?"John asked noticing.**

**"A little,I think it's time we went in anyway,Mum is going to have the meal ready soon"**

**"I only had a sandwich less than an hour ago"**

**John looking at his watch,it was only four o clock.**

**"I know" Clara,said back to him.**

**"It won't be ready quite yet,maybe we can go and have a ****cuddle ****until it's is?"**

**Knowing of John's phobia with food still and trying not to draw attention to it by getting him to think of ****'other ****thing's'**

**She ran her fingers up and down John's chest,kissing his lips,lightly.**

**"Clara you know we,can't not yet,anyway"**

**John's eyes closed with thoughts of doing ****that,**** with Clara.**

**"I know,maybe we'll get the all clear, by Wednesday,then I can have my wicked way with you"**

**She said giving John a look.**

**"Until then, nothing stopping us having a ****no ****strings ****cuddle**** is there?"**

**Clara started to nip on John's ear. Whispered.**

**"You wait,John Smith,when I'm released from the ban,you won't know,what's,hit you!"**

**"Really! Clara,Oswald,sex mad you are!"**

**John,eyes wide,pretended to be scandalised.**

**"Come on then,nap time!"**

**Getting up,pulled Clara,to her feet,putting his,arm round her as they headed back into the hotel.**

**Meanwhile Southend beach the same time**

**Rory and Amy were sat in deck chairs on the beach,**

**the picnic having been eaten.**

**They were both watching the two children building sand castles.**

**" This is nice,we should do this more often?"**

**Amy said looking out towards the sea which today was further out,**

**there was a slight breeze but not much of a chill.**

**"Hmm..."**

**Rory was looking the other way,only half listening.**

**Amy making sure that both children were not within earshot said,**

**"Perhaps we could go behind the sand dunes,and you could have me now. I'll go first shall I take all my clothes off,then you can follow?"**

**"What? Sorry Amy,did you say something?"**

**Rory realising that she had spoken to him, turned back to her.**

**"It's nothing,stupid face,only I've just offered it to you on a plate!"**

**"Oh God,Amy,no more food. After that sandwich of Tom's,I don't think I will eat until the middle of next week! Hang on? Did you say something about taking all your clothes off ?"**

**"So you were listening,stupid face"**

**Amy said in amusement.**

**"I do when I think I hear something important,"**

**Rory said back,**

**" I wasn't sure"**

**He looked across to the two children,Daisy seemed to be giving Tom instructions into how,to build a moat, around the sand castle.**

**"Think I can wait" looking at his watch, **

**"Say six hours? Besides you don't want to get sand in your bum,do you? If you want to go do it in the dunes?"**

**"Oi,who said you were going on top!? You'll be the one with sand in your bum crack! You were listening then?"**

**She repeated.**

**"Amy,I'm a,Solicitor,I can listen with two minds, I was..."**

**"Thinking about your meeting with Will?"**

**Amy finished.**

**Rory nodded.**

**"We can't even come out for the day, without bumping into a,****John**** problem"**

**"Rory,it's hardly Raggedy Mans fault,he didn't know he lived here"**

**"Suppose he has too live somewhere, bet if I said I'd take you all on a picnic to the moon,he would have turned up there!"**

**Rory said bitterly**

**"Rory,you are not going to let this get to you?"**

**"No I'm not,"**

**he paused then.**

**"I will take the kids for a walk in a while,look for a rock pool.**

**You've not been to the seaside if you haven't looked for crabs,even when your twenty four"**

**When Amy looked at him confused.**

**"I thought I told you about bringing John here,before we got married? I must have done?"**

**She shook her head.**

**"It was a month or so before our wedding"**

**Rory carried on.**

**"...John had never been to the seaside before,I think that was thanks to a,certain person as well"**

**Thinking about John's ****Dad**** and how controlling he had been.**

**"I know he has the seafront at Tadchester now,I suppose with all that as happened to him In the last few months,he hasn't thought about it"**

**"Maybe that will change,when the babies come?"**

**Amy said.**

**"He was so excited,you would have thought he was four years old instead of a,twenty four year old about to start his,career as a solicitor!"**

**Rory said.**

**"Even if we had to use an old tin can to fish for the crabs,I don't think the beach shop was there then"**

**Staring off into the distance... remembering that day. John's voice in his head.**

**"The seaside is great,Rory,**

**Why didn't we come here sooner? Think I would like to live here,stay here for ever!"**

**"Don't think you'll get many clients here John it's not very busy,it's alright for the day..."**

**"Oh...who cares about ****bloody**** clients"**

**John threw his hands up in the air,running up the beach shouting...**

**"THIS,IS,REAL LIFE!"**

**To Rory's amusement,he had never seen anyone so excited about a,trip to the seaside. That was another thing he'd found out about his friend in the time,he'd lived with his Dad and him. And wouldn't change him for anything!**

**Coming back to the present.**

**"It took me ages,to persuade him to go home that day,you know what he's like,how childlike he can be at times..."**

**Amy smiled at that comment. Saying.**

**"I think that part of him never grew up" **

**Remembering John from when she first looked after him as a,three year old. When she had mothered him,how Rory had been so jealous, then mellowed as they got older.**

**"I don't think it ever will," Rory said then,**

**"but I think there,is,enough maturity in him. If he can just get over his problems.**

**He can have both, the life he wants"**

**Amy smiled.**

**"I wouldn't change him for the world,whatever help he needs,we will be there for him, right?"**

**"Right"**

**He grinned back at Amy. Leaning over. Touched her hand,**

**"Today is for us, much as I love them John and Clara. We can pretend the kids are ours,even Daisy"**

**Rory yawning, got up and stretched.**

**" Think it's time for that walk now,want to come?"**

**Wiggled,his fingers at her.**

**"No,I'll stay here, have a nap,I was up early with the kids,your turn..." **

**Amy yawned, settled back in her deck chair.**

**"That's,it sweetheart,you save your energy for tonight"**

**Rory kissed her,then started to walk away when,**

**"Okay stupid face, don't forget the fishing net..."**

**Amy with her eyes,closed pointed back to it propped behind the deck chairs.**

**"Don't think you should use a tin can today,can you imagine spending four hours,in A&amp;E with Tom asking endless questions?...**

**Amy's voice trailed off.**

**Rory,Thinking that Amy had gone to sleep, rescued the fishing net,then went to call Daisy and Tom.**

**Amy with half closed eyes,watched Rory walk up to the two children,taking Daisy by the hand after handing Tom the fishing net. **

**They began walking towards the other end of the beach,to look for rock pools.**

**She smiled. Amy wasn't tired as such,but needed a little thinking time to herself. Besides,it was good for Rory to spend time with Tom,Daisy too for that matter.**

**It had really shook her last night,when Rory had his turn. ****She really**** thought that he was going to collapse on her! The change in him today,maybe the shock of it all? It had given them both the push to talk about other things,than kids and of course,John's problems.**

**She was still determined to for them both to have sex tonight.**

** Joking aside, unless things got back on track, had this feeling that for all they both wanted to help Raggedy Man,they wouldn't be able to, if her and Rory felt adrift from each other.**

**She loved him so much,but life,seemed,to be,getting in the,way for them both at the moment. Amy started to doze.**

**Rory walked up the beach holding a bucket in one hand and Daisy by the other. Tom was in front holding the fishing net.**

**Rory was also thinking about Amy,and what they had nearly done in the bathroom earlier was only just admitting to himself that they needed to talk,about the miscarriage. **

**Though he wouldn't admit it to Amy (because it had happened twice now) it frightened him the turn he had in his,office last night. Sometimes he forgot he could get sick.**

**'Christ' he thought,'is it because of John's problems or even the work load at Master's?**

**Maybe,both? He would not stop helping John as he'd told her,but they needed to get their lives back on track. Yes,definitely early night tonight. **

**Rory stopped, because Daisy did,**

**"Uncle Rory?"**

**"Yes,sweetheart?"**

**"Can I take some shells home,for my box? I can get some for Auntie Amy and Mummy as well"**

**He realised she had been looking down at some of the small shells the tide had washed in.**

**"Course you can"**

**Rory waited while Daisy put them into her bucket.**

**Tom had walked on,he knew they were looking for a rock pool.**

**Rory had told both of the children that's what they were looking for after they had left Amy. When he realised that Rory and Daisy were not following him he came back dragging the fishing net,behind him.**

**"Uncle Rory...I thought we were going to look for crabs"**

**"So we will in a minute,Tom"**

**Rory replied back to him,knelt down helping Daisy pick the best shells.**

**"I want to go now!"**

**Tom started to moan.**

**"Collecting shells,is,silly!"**

**'Oh****,****dear'**** Rory thought,but said.**

**"Now,Tom,you can't always do everything you want,to all the time..."**

**"Why?" Tom asked sulking still.**

**"Because Daisy wants the shells,then when she's collected them,the three of us will look for the rock pool,okay?"**

**"Girls collect shells, ****it's****,****it's****,****fucking**** silly!"**

**Tom kicking the sand,then throwing the fishing net away from him.**

**Rory stood up, walked over to Tom. He didn't know if Daisy had heard,him use the swear word looking back at her with the bucket and some of the shells in her hand her mouth was,small 'O' thought,maybe she had.**

**..." I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"**

**Tom flinched away from him.**

**"Please don't smack me,Uncle Rory,I didn't mean to say that...!"**

**Rory looking at the frightened little boy in front of him was reminded of John for a moment. When he was in one of his nightmares,after the Doctor had regressed him back to his childhood. He put his hand out to him.**

**"Tom,mate,it's,alright your not going to get a smack"**

**When,Tom still looked frightened at him Rory said then.**

**" I promise,I won't smack you I just want to talk,that's all"**

**Rory put his hand out to Tom again,smiled reassuringly at him.**

**Tom put his hand in Rory's and stood next to him.**

**There,were some rocks not far from where they stood.**

**Rory led him over to them and sat down,from there he could still keep an eye on Daisy,who had gone back to putting the shells in her bucket.**

**Tom was crying,saying...**

**"I'm S-Sorry,U-Uncle Rory..."**

**Looking at the sand,kicking at it with his,shoe.**

**"Right,first of all,Tom,I never ****ever**** want to hear you say any words like that again"**

**He put his hand under Tom's chin,to look him in the eye.**

**"You do understand,it's,a naughty word,don't you?"**

**Tom nodded at him saying softly,**

**"Yes"**

**"Now,I don't know how you were punished by your Dad,if he smacked you,I don't. Auntie Amy wouldn't do that,either"**

**Tom raised his eyebrows,at him.**

**"Saying that,though,Tom,you will be punished another way. No treats, I'll take the football away and there will be no stories at bed time for a week!"**

**Tom's face fell at the mention of the football and the bed time story,as Rory knew,it would.**

**Tom loved both of these especially spending time with him.**

**Rory smiled at Tom then,**

**"...Not this time,we'll take this, as a talking too next time,though?"**

**"Kay..." Tom said.**

**Rory paused,put his arms out to him.**

**"...Come,here mate"**

**Tom went to him for a hug**

**"Good boy?"**

**'Well that went okay' he thought.**

** Looking over Tom's shoulder as he hugged him.**

**"I think we've found the crabs,Tom" **

**There was,a rock pool just round the side of the rocks Rory was,sat on.**

**He let Tom go.**

**"Remember what I said,dry your eyes,go pick up the fishing net"**

**Tom went to do that as,Rory walked back to Daisy to see the shells she'd collected.**

**Amy was still dozing in the deck chair,when something cold and wet was dangled on her face and neck making her jump up with a scream...**

**"RORY!"**

**Her husband was stood to one side with his hands, up in mock surrender.**

**Daisy and Tom were,behind the deck chair she had been sat in giggling. Dangling the seaweed.**

**"...No,but I bet it was your idea! Come here!"**

**"What!? I've not done anything...now Amy what are,you going to do with that seaweed?"**

**Rory pointed at her as Amy advanced towards him, began chasing him round the deck chair,**

**which ended with Amy sat on top of him stuffing the seaweed down his,t shirt.**

**"...Gotcha!"**

**She said has the two children sat in the deck chairs giggling. Watching the two adults.**

**"Ugh! Amy that's,cold...yuck...!"**

**"Oh don't be a big baby!" **

**She kissed his head,then got up.**

**"Anyway,you started it.I don't know,about you,Rory,but I'm starving,time to pack up?"**

**Rory,propped up on his,elbow,looked at his watch.**

**"It's after six,we should think about getting to the hotel,if we want dinner. Are,you hungry kids?"**

**Looking over at the two children,knew,Tom would be,he always,was. Daisy nodded.**

**Amy was packing up after admiring Daisy's shells and looking at the crab in Tom's,bucket.**

**Rory folded up the deck chairs to hand back in at the entrance from where he'd hired them earlier.**

**Amy putting the picnic hamper and the children in the car,came back over to Rory as he was paying.**

**"...Rory,what's,the matter with Tom? Why has he been crying?"**

**"you can tell?"**

**"His face is dirty,I know tear tracks when I see them!" She said.**

**"He's had a telling off"**

**Rory said.**

**"Rory,why...did you,he doesn't..."**

**Amy started to say.**

**"Amy" Rory rounded on her then.**

**"He swore...the f word,I don't think John and Clara would be impressed if Daisy tells them. Besides,I'm not going to put up with it either,I told you last week,when he came"**

**"That he would walk all over us?"**

**Amy repeated.**

**"Exactly,even if he thought I was the bad guy,was going to smack him"**

**"Oh,Rory...he didn't..."**

**"You know I wouldn't,I explained to him,that I would punish him other ways,lose of privileges"**

**He said. Amy nodded.**

**Rory sighed.**

**"Amy,what is it with some adults,that they have to smack their kids? There's other ways..."**

**Amy bit her lip,knowing he was thinking about John,the way he'd been treated,how terrified he was.**

**"Rory,I'm sorry if you think Tom is being spoilt,I know he needs boundaries.I would tell you if he misbehaves.I wouldn't keep secrets from you,he's never been naughty for me"**

**"Amy,I want to look after him as well"**

**Rory said.**

**"I also don't want him to think,he's only got to ask,that things appear, like magic. Life's not like that!"**

**In the car,the two children were wondering,what the hold up was.**

**Rory looked over,**

**"Think we'd better go and feed them,don't want Tom thinking,I'm punishing him by starvation."**

**Amy grinned at that comment.**

**They both headed back to the car to go the hotel.**

**A/N**

**So a good day out was had by Rory and**

**Amy..Apart from the will problem,which Rory dealt with,also Tom's as well?**

**Dinner at the hotel,then home,there maybe a shock before that!**

**Also John and Clara have the hotel back.**

**Through he has,to go and see Dr Barclay tomorrow,will he play up?**

**More soon..**

**Please read and review,thanks.**


	70. Chapter 70

Return to Love

Chapter 70

Rory drove over the road to the "Mayflower hotel" and parked up again.

They all walked up to the reception desk where he asked about ordering dinner for the four of them.

"The restaurant is,open until nine Sir "

The woman on the reception desk said.

"I think the kids need to have a wash and tidy up first"

Amy said looking at Rory.

"We have been on the beach all afternoon,er the ladies?" she said to the receptionist.

"Over that way,down the corridor,door to your right"

"Thank you. Rory I'll take both of them with me, we'll see you in the,restaurant?"

"But I'm hungry" Tom said sulking. "Don't need to wash"

" Oh I think you do..." Rory said lightly looking at his dirty face.

"Besides naughty boys don't get ice cream after dinner,do they Auntie Amy?"

That's,right,they don't,but your a good boy aren't you,Tom?"

With a look at Tom that booked no nonsense.

Tom sighed then,perhaps remembering the telling off he'd had on the beach earlier. Also the threat of a,treat being withdrawn,said.

"Okay Uncle Rory...I'll go and wash"

Following Amy and Daisy to the ladies.

Rory,went towards to the toilets himself, after his tussle with Amy on the beach,needed to clean up as well.

He used the loo,then washed his hands and face because he could smell the seaweed on him.

Rory grinned at that memory. It had been the kids idea to daggle the wet seaweed over Amy, when they got back and found her dozing. He'd,not stopped them, fact encouraged it,suppose he would pay for it in bed tonight.

Going back into reception,he went into the restaurant. He told the waiter he wanted a table for four.

Sat down looking at the menu when Amy came in with the two children.

"So there is a little boy then,underneath all that dirt?"

Smiling,looking up as they sat down at the table with him. Handing Amy the menu.

"The Sunday roast looks,good,or there are other choices pasta's.. salads..."

"Can I have chips?" Tom piped up.

"...Chips..." Rory finished grinning.

"What would you like Daisy?"

She was sat so still on her chair,next to Amy.

" I will have the same as you Uncle Rory"

She said quietly.

"I'm going to have the roast dinner,sweetheart,you don't need to have the same as me,if you want something,else?"

Knowing she wouldn't want to be any trouble.

"You can have,chips the same as Tom,if you like" he said.

"Kay,can I have sausage and beans too please?"

"If that's,what you'd like,Tom,do you want the same,or you can have fish fingers?"

Tom wanted to have the same as Daisy,Rory and Amy decided to have the lamb roast.

While they waited for their meals,Amy said to him.

"I noticed there was a children's play area,maybe Tom and Daisy could have half an hour's play before we head back?"

"Okay,as long as we leave about eight,only I want to be back by nine,as I have to go with John tomorrow.I know it's,not until three, his appointment but I want to ring Dr Barclay,early. John's also ringing to let me know,how things are,at the hotel"

Rory said.

Amy nodded,then said.

"He will be fine,Rory"

"I know,but I still worry about him"

Looking over at Amy, touching her hand.

"...Sorry..."

With a glance at both children sat next to them. Amy said.

"We'll talk later,'little pitcher's'

The waiter came back then with the children's meals,followed by his,and Amy's.

They all dug in.

When they had finished,Tom having followed his with the biggest ice cream sundae Rory had ever seen.

Daisy didn't want one,and he thought she was frightened of being sick in his car on the way home,like yesterday.

"Where does he put it!" Amy wondered.

"John asked the same thing,the other day when we took him for a burger" Rory said,grinning.

"I think he is just making up for lost time.

Shall we go out to this play area,then?"

They went out to a covered area that had soft play for the children.

It had a ball pool, climbing frames and there were soft mats so they couldn't hurt themselves.

Rory went to the bar to get some drinks for them all.

Lemonade for the two children,and himself. He said to Amy.

" I got you a white wine..."

"Are you trying to get me tipsy,stupid face?"

"Amy,it's one glass,I can't because I'm driving,you can have a lemonade if you prefer"

"I was joking,Rory it's fine" she touched his,face smiling at him.

Amy didn't really drink,only the odd glass of wine,Rory might have the odd glass or a beer after work,but neither of them had since before the miscarriage and after Tom had come into their lives.

Also the amount of time that they had been looking out for John and Clara,she thought maybe Rory was too frightened,in case he had to dash to help Raggedy Man.

There were other children in the play area,

Tom was was on the climbing frames,crawling through the tunnels,Daisy was following him.

"Their having a great time"

Rory said looking at Amy. She sipped at her wine.

"Rory,your not worried,about tomorrow are you? Do you think Raggedy Man will talk to Dr Barclay?"

"Amy..."

Rory pulled his hand through his fringe.

Which he did,if he was upset,nervous,even if he had to tell the odd fib,it was a very Rory gesture.

"...I hope so,after the tussle I've had with him since he last saw the Doctor. He needs to,talk,especially about this food phobia.

You remember how he was last month?"

"Yes,I thought he'd got over that,started eating again?"

"He did until,he had to talk to Auntie and Clara about you know who...then it started up again! Well,it's either this or hospital,and not any of us want that,especially John"

Suddenly, there was screaming,shouting.

"NO,NO...LEAVE ME ALONE...!"

GO AWAY...UNCLE RORY...UNCLE RORY!"

Amy started up from her chair...panic in her eyes.

"That's Daisy! Rory!"

He was already up from his own chair,heading towards the other side of the room,where the shouting was coming from. Amy following him. Tom met them,tears running down his cheeks.

"Uncle Rory...the lady,the lady...she,she wants to take Daisy away...!"

"Lady, Tom? Where's Daisy,where is she?"

Rory holding on to Tom,was,scanning the room looking for her.

In the play area,there was no sign of Daisy. On the back wall was a door, marked 'private,staff only'

Rory handing Tom to Amy went over to it. He pulled it open. It led into an office behind the reception area. The woman who was on the desk,when they came in she had hold of her.

Daisy was trying to get away from her.

"Don't,be a silly girl...sit still,I'm saving you!"

Her face,tear stained,she looked absolutely terrified.

The woman turned round at the door opening.

"What do you think your doing,it's staff only in here"

"U-Uncle R-Rory" Daisy said. Put her arms out to him.

The woman let her go.

"Are you alright,sweetheart?"

He said going over to Daisy.

His arms round her,giving her a hug.

"I said this is private..."

"The woman said to him again.

Rory straightened up from Daisy,turning round to the woman.

"I heard you the first time.

Hang on don't I know you?"

Rory looked at the woman in puzzlement,then his face cleared.

"Your his wife! Clara's ex"

Explaining to Amy who had followed him in. Looking back to the woman again.

"Marie,wasn't it? What do you think you are doing. Why is my niece,terrified?"

The woman looked panicky,as though trying to think of some excuse.

"The little girl fell over,I was making sure she...she was okay"

Daisy was still sobbing on the chair,Tom came in to the room then,rounded on Marie.

"...No you didn't! You asked Daisy if she would like to come home with you! She did Uncle Rory!"

"...I did no such thing...he's,a little liar!"

"Hey,don't you call our son,names..."

Amy came behind Tom then put her hands on his,shoulders.

Suddenly a man came into the room,

"Mrs Davis,what is going on? This shouting can be heard all over the hotel"

To Rory and Amy said.

"Sir,Madam,is there a problem?"

Rory trying to keep his temper, was fuming.

This woman was trying to entice Daisy away,he was sure of it.

But had no real proof.

"Your the manager?"

"Mr Freeman,as I said is,there a problem?"

"Just a misunderstanding"

Rory said then.

" I think you should revise your staff policy about dealing with accidents in your play area"

"...But,Uncle Rory...She did,tell Daisy,she wanted to take her home..." Tom was pulling on his,arm.

Rory looked at him then came to a,decision.

"Amy,take the kids out to the car,I'll not be long"

"Rory?" She said.

"...Now"...

In a tone that booked no argument.

Wiping Daisy's eyes,Amy helped her up, trying to comfort her.

Taking hold of Tom's hand, headed out of the office. She knew Rory was in his full Solicitor mode.

After his,wife had left the room with the two children,Rory said to the manager.

"Like I said I think it was,a mistake,on Mrs Davis part right? I don't think she would be trying to make off with my niece,who happens to be her husband's daughter"

Pausing then to look between the two people.

" Tell your husband to go through the proper channels,if he wants to see Daisy..."

"Now just a minute"

Marie said indignantly.

"Are you accusing me of trying to kidnap that child!"

"You said that,not me. I still think there,was something funny about the,situation.

If Daisy had hurt herself,why not come to get her parents? That being myself or my wife,as she's staying with us. We're out for the day so we are in loco parentis"

"The manager looked then at Marie,

"Well Mrs Davis,why did you not do that? Go and find the child's family?"

"I-I ...didn't think,"

Marie stammered."She fell over and was crying,I went to comfort her,then I would have got her parents"

Rory thought she was lying through her teeth,proving it would be another matter.

"I see..." he said,going to the door.

"Well as long as,Daisy is okay.I'm going to let the matter go for now.

If anything like this happens again,I will drop on you like a,ton of bricks!"

Rory was looking at Marie as he said it...

"...Mr...look,I'm sure it was a mistake...on Mrs Davis part..."

The manager stammered.

"I'm sure the law doesn't need to be involved?"

"Not this time,and I am the only law you should worry about...I expect your husband as told you what I do for a living?"

To Marie,she nodded. To the manager he said.

"Rory Williams...loads,of letters after my name...never lost a case yet"

( he had but they didn't need to know that!) he thought.

"Case?" The manager said then.

" He's a solicitor" Marie said. "This is all bluff"

Though she didn't look so sure.

"Hotel closed, jobs lost,need I say more? No,good,then if this was a misunderstanding,you've nothing to worry about. Expect I'll hear from your husband soon,Mrs Davis"

With that,Rory went out of the room.

'Bloody Hell,did I just sound like Perry Mason in there?' he thought,heading for the car park.

Meanwhile...

Outside,Amy had put both children into the back of the car.

Daisy still looked upset,but she had stopped crying.

Sat half way in the front passenger seat,Amy turned back to them.

"Tom,what happened,you can you tell me?"

She said softly.

With a look at Daisy,Tom looked back to Amy saying.

"I was crawling through the tunnels.I thought Daisy was behind me. I came out the other side,the lady was talking to her. Auntie Amy,I couldn't hear what she was saying to her at first.

Then she was pulling Daisy's arm,dragging her towards,that room! Telling her she had to come with her"

"Auntie Amy,I'm sorry to have been naughty" Daisy spoke then,she was getting tearful again.

"The-the lady s-said I should come w-with her cause my Daddy wanted me to-to,I don't understand?"

Amy reached over the seat to touch Daisy's face.

"Sweetheart,you have done nothing wrong,or naughty and you did the right thing,shouting for Uncle Rory"

Touching Tom's face then as well,

"Both of you,did,if anyone tries to take you away,you scream and shout.

Don't worry...Uncle Rory will sort it out"

Looking up then,saw Rory coming out the door from the reception.

"Tom,will you look after Daisy for a few minutes,lovey,I just need to talk to Uncle Rory.

Won't be long,you can see us from the window"

She smiled at him,

"Yes,Auntie Amy" Tom put an arm round Daisy,who snuggled into him.

Amy got out of the car,shutting the door behind her,walked over to meet Rory.

"Rory,did you find out what happened?"

"No,I BLOODY didn't!" he said irritable.

Rory closed his eyes,opening them again said.

"I'm sorry,sweetheart,I don't mean to take it out on you...it's I think that woman was trying to take Daisy away,but I've no way to prove it"

"And you say she's Wills wife?" Amy asked then.

"Yes, I met her when they came to see John's flat.I didn't remember until she had Daisy in the office. Amy, how am I going to explain this to John,it might tip him back to the way he was before. Oh God,he trusted me with her and I nearly lost her..."

Rory was getting upset. Hand pulling at his fringe.

He started to walk up and down. Amy touched his arm.

"Rory...stop it! None of this,is your fault. Maybe you shouldn't tell John,what happened here today?"

"Amy,I can't lie to him" He'd stopped in front of her. Shaking his head.

"Not again,after I kept it from him about Auntie. Plus this is going to all come out once Will makes,that appointment to speak to him and Clara,that's going to happen now"

He was telling her about what had gone on in the office after she had taken the children out.

"Do you think we should ring the police Rory?" Amy said. "What if she tries,it again?"

"I don't think she will,I'm not even sure if her husband knows or,if he put her up to it"

Pausing then looking over to the car.

"Are they okay?"

"Tom told me that he saw that woman trying to drag her away.

Daisy has stopped crying,but is very confused"

Telling Rory what Daisy had said about Marie,that she should go with her because her Daddy wanted her too.

"I don't know how we're all going to explain if she asks what Daddy.

Do we tell her or wait until John and Clara come down on Friday?"

Rory said then,

"This is why I need to talk to John,he's,going to have to know.

This is getting to out of hand for us to tackle on our own.

At the end of the day,she's their child,not ours.

Come on its nearly eight,we'd best get them home"

They both went back to the car,Rory got into the driving seat,turning round to look at the two children in the back.

Tom put his finger to his lip.

"Shush...Uncle Rory..."

Daisy was asleep with her head on Tom's lap.

"Thanks,mate"

He smiled,turning back round, looking over at Amy,started the car.

By the time that Rory drove on to the London Road,Tom was fast asleep in the back seat as well.

Looking over at Amy who was watching the scenery.

"Penny for them..."

Rory said to her.

"Hmm,I think,my thoughts are worth more than a penny,Stupid Face"

Amy replied.

"How about a fiver then...a tenner?"

When Amy,gave him another look,saying.

"Rory,all I wanted was an early night,no kids,no problems,

Just you and me. Doesn't look as though it's going to happen,is it?"

"Amy if that's,what you want,we still can,when we get back,we'll get the kids up to bed,and..."

Amy didn't let him finish,

"... and take two hours to calm down,Raggedy Man"

"Shouldn't take that long,John might be okay"

He said then. Amy giving him another look,as though to say...'Oh really'

By the time Rory pulled onto the drive way outside their house,it was nearly nine.

"Right," he whispered,"I'll open up,then come back and carry Daisy. Can you walk Tom in?"

Amy nodded.

"Leave the stuff in the boot,I'll sort it later"

Getting out,opening the front door,then going round to the side where Daisy was. He picked her up to carry her into the house.

Amy opening the other side,touched Tom on the face,lightly.

" Tom,Sweetie,we're home. Come on,bedtime."

"Hmm,Auntie Amy" Tom yawned,then said.

"Daisy!?" He looked round in panic.

"It's,alright lovey,Uncle Rory's got her"

Point towards,the door where Rory was just taking her inside.

"See he's taking her up to bed. Time you was as well?"

She got Tom out of the car,then shut the front door behind them all.

They were all half way up the stairs,when the phone in the hall rang.

"...Leave it,that will be John"

Rory said.

"I'll phone him back,when we've settled the kids"

When his mobile rang as he put Daisy down on her bed,said,to Amy stood near the door.

"Definitely,John it will go to voice mail,he will think I'm still driving"

He straightened up.

"I will get Tom in to his pyjamas,if you sort Daisy? See you downstairs?"

Amy nodded,handing a sleepy Tom over to him.

"Come on,mate...bedtime"

Taking Tom across,the hallway to his,bedroom.

"Uncle Rory"

Tom said sleepy to him, he sat on the bed,as Rory helped into his,pyjamas.

"I'm sorry I didn't stop that lady taking Daisy away"

"Tom,mate...none of this is your fault,you did good. Looking out for Daisy,like,a big brother should."

Tom looked pleased at that comment.

" I will tell Uncle John what,you did, to help,when I talk to him later"

Tom gave another yawn then,so Rory said.

"Come on,into bed,now time for sleep."

He kissed his,head, covered him up,leaving the night light on.

Rory was,pleased with the way he had looked after Daisy,earlier and,on the way home in the car.

It reminded him,sort of the way Amy had for John,years,ago. Going out on the landing,sighed has he thought.

'John,I'd better go phone him,tell him what's happened'

It wasn't a call he was looking forward,to. Rory made his way downstairs. Amy was in the kitchen, sorting through the picnic hamper,which she must have been back outside to the car to get.

"I would have got that for you. I'm going to ring John in a minute" he said.

"It's fine,"

Amy said then. Putting the plates and other things they had used for the picnic into the dishwasher. Turning back to him.

"Rory,sit down a minute,I need to talk to you"

She put a coffee in front of him as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"What's the matter? Is Daisy alright?"

"She didn't really wake up,as I undressed her"

Amy said then.

"I found a bruise at the top of her arm,it must have been where that woman grabbed her"

"Oh,bloody hell!" Rory said,rubbing at his face.

"Maybe I should have called the police,though I think Wills wife would talk her way out of it"

He shook his head. Taking a drink of his coffee.

"John,is not going to be happy at all when I tell him.

Amy I need to see this bruise,then I can decide what to do next"

Rory got up,went to his office,came back out with his camera.

"Rory... what are you going to do?"

Amy said following him upstairs,

"I need to document this. I can store it on my computer in case there is any comeback from Will and his wife"

They both went into Daisy's room.

She was asleep lay on her left side.

Rory could just see,the bruise on her right arm at the top below the short sleeve. He handed the camera over to Amy.

"Hold this a minute," he was whispering.

She took the camera from him. Rory moved the sleeve of Daisy's nightie further up,for a better look. He could see the imprints of fingers and a thumb in the bruise forming on Daisy's skin.

'Christ,she must have really grabbed her' he thought.

Holding his hand out for the camera,Rory then took three photographs of her arm.

Daisy moaned slightly,disturbed by the flash.

"...Mummy..."

"Hush,now sweetheart" stroking her head. Amy put the covers over her as she settled back into sleep.

"Rory...that's enough,come on let's go downstairs now"

She was looking at his face,knew he was going to blow any second.

Amy was right the minute they were back downstairs in the kitchen,Rory kicked the nearest chair.

"How fucking dare she do that to a child! No wonder Daisy was so terrified. I'm going to ring John and if he wants the police involved,I will call them. I should have done It before,we left"

He looked at Amy,in anguish.

" I should have done more,to stop this from happening,perhaps if I'd recognised her sooner?"

"Rory,sweetheart,you did what you thought was right, least Daisy's here with us now safe. Look please calm down,before you speak to John,okay?"

Rory's mobile rang,taking it out of his pocket.

Looking at the clock,it was nearly ten. To Amy said.

"It's,John,I'm going to have to talk to him,or he will think something is really,wrong. I'm calm"

When Amy,still looked worried at him.

Taking a breath,sitting down on the chair he had just kicked.

He pressed the call button,also turned on the speaker so Amy could hear the conversation.

"John,mate how are you?"

"I thought you were not coming home tonight,Rory. I've rang twice"

John said to him.

"Sorry about that,we got back about nine.

Had to put the kids to bed,they fell asleep on the way back"

Looking at Amy,least that part was true.

John laughed.

"So,who's Super Mum,now?"

"Yeah,funny,John" Rory said back to him,not really in the mood for the joke.

"Rory,are you alright?"

"I'm,okay,we all are. John,how calm are you,on a scale of one to ten?"

"Rory?" John laughed again,puzzled by the question.

"Are we playing twenty questions,or is this a new game?"

"John,I'm not playing games,I need to know how you are"

John was sure that something was up with his friend,but knew he wouldn't find out unless he went along with his questions.

"Well,I would say,seven,maybe eight,I've had a good day,which I will tell you about,when you stop playing 'silly buggers' Rory"

" Is Clara there,John?" Rory asked him then.

"She's asleep,so is Mum. Enough of this,Rory,I know something is up,I'm calm, I won't be if you don't tell me what it is!"

"I'm sorry,John,it's Clara's ex,we bumped into him while we were out today"

Rory telling him then,about the visit to South end on sea,and what happened in the gift shop,he owned.

"Well,least we know where he lives" John said matter of fact.

"We knew he would want to see Clara about Daisy" he said then.

" Yes,but John that's not the worst of it,and you are..going to hate me for this part" Rory said,telling John about what happened later at the hotel,when they met Wills wife.

It had gone,quiet,Rory thought at first that John had hung up. Then...

"I'm going to bloody,kill him. He must have known about this. Daisy,is she okay?"

"Apart from the bruise on her arm,John I should have called the police. There is still time if you want me too,I'm so sorry..."

Rory told John about the photographs he'd taken earlier.

"Rory,stop it...I don't blame you for any of this,I'm not happy,but I'm calm. I've always trusted you Rory,it's might not seem so at times,especially with the 'problems' I've had. I know you would never put Daisy or Tom in any danger,deliberately"

John paused then,Rory felt slightly better after his,speech.

"Rory,I don't want you to inform the police,not yet anyway"

"What,John,are you sure?" Rory said then.

"Rory,the photos,you took of Daisy's arm,could,they be used in evidence,if we need to?"

"Evidence for what,John? What are you up to?"

"If,we have to go to court,could they be used?"

John said then.

"Well,you can tell its a hand shaped bruise,though Tom was really the only one that saw her grab Daisy. I think the manager of the hotel thought she was up to something,he might admit it,if pushed"

"Rory,will you do something for me,I know I have to go and see Dr Barclay,tomorrow and before you say anything,not trying to get out of it. I want to go"

John paused then,

"I know you gave Will one of your business cards,told him to make an appointment to speak to Clara and me. Could you get in first,tell him to come and see the three of us,say a week tomorrow at your office? Would that be okay?"

"I can do that,now I know which town he lives,in I can find out from the electoral register.

Should be easy enough.I will sort it out and phone you soon as I know John"

"Rory,do you think he put her up to it?" John said.

"Will?" Rory asked.

"Yes,it seemed a coincidence, that she was at work in that hotel,maybe he saw you go in?"

"John I think there is something, about her,not sure.

She is a liar,certainly,there is also something I can't quite work out yet"

" Well,if that's,the case,I don't want her any where near Daisy or Clara"

John knew Rory was,usually right,about people he met in his work.

"Rory,I'm not going to tell Clara what happened today not yet"

Paused then.

"...I know I will have to tell her,but ...She will want to dash up to see Daisy. I need to keep her calm,before she sees the Nurse on Wednesday"

" I think,Daisy will be okay,she might ask shall just have to take it a day at a time until you both get here on Friday" Rory said.

Thinking how calmly,John was taking this. He was right,they needed to watch Clara's blood pressure,more fibs,but they had to.

"How's things your end,John? Are the police still looking?" He asked then.

" No,all finished,nothing found. Detective Baker is,coming to see me Wednesday afternoon. He thinks they've solved the mystery of the two bodies that were in the trunks"

"That's great,at least it's some,good news. I'm sorry again mate"

..."Rory,look will you stop apologising,it,wasn't your fault. Look it could have happened if it had been Clara and me taking the kids,out for the day"

Amy had been sat quietly listening to the conversation, between the two men,realising how,upset Rory was,still about the situation. He,would probably sit there,all night saying how sorry he was,to John. She spoke up then.

" That's,what I've been trying to tell him,Raggedy Man"

"Hello,Pond,didn't realise you were there. How are,you?"

"Tired...I want my bed"

"Well why don't you take,that silly idiot with you and give him a good seeing to..."

Amy giggled at that... Rory had gone bright red...

"Oh,I intend to if I can get him away from sitting here,saying sorry to you all night!"

"Oi,I'm still here,you know!"

Rory said,looking between his wife and his best friend's voice on his phone.

"John..."

"If you say sorry once more tonight,I will smack you when I see you tomorrow" John said.

"I wasn't! I was going to say thanks,see you tomorrow"

"Rory...go to bed...night mate"

Yeah,night,John"

Rory disconnected the call.

He had a look over at Amy.

" John's,right I am an idiot,I should have realised he wouldn't blame me for this"

Amy walked over,putting her arms round him,kissing him.

"Yes,but your 'my idiot' " she said.

"How about we take Raggedy Mans advice,and I take you to bed and give you a good seeing to,Mr Pond?"

Rory kissed her back,hugging Amy to him.

"Do you know how much I love you,Mrs Williams?"

"Yes," Amy whispered in his ear "How about you prove it? Come on let's,go to bed"

By eleven,they were both upstairs,in bed,and Rory,did.

Two Hours Later

Daisy was having a lovely dream. She was playing on the climbing frame with Tom.

It was nice.

It had been a lovely day on the beach with Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy. Daisy missed Mummy and John,but she loved Uncle Rory,he looked after her when they weren't there.

Suddenly a woman appeared. Started to pull at her,telling Daisy...she had to come with her,to see, Daddy?

She didn't understand...

Daisy tried to tell her,John was at home with,Mummy,she didn't want to go with this strange woman,she was frightened of her. When she tried to pull away from her,the woman's grip tightened on her arm,pulling her towards another room.

Daisy,started to scream,and scream. She wanted Uncle Rory,where was he? He would protect and look after her,wouldn't he?

Rory and Amy's bedroom the same time

Rory had just rolled over away from Amy,on to his,side of the bed.

They had made love.

Rory fell asleep with Amy's head on his chest, a smile on his face.

Suddenly there was screaming and shouting...

"UNCLE RORY...UNCLE RORY...NO NO...GO AWAY...!"

Rory sat up so quick because,he was half a sleep,fell out of the bed.

"Fuck! Not again!"

He swore after getting up,rubbing his shoulder and putting on his,dressing gown, he was only in his shorts.

"That's Daisy!"

Amy putting on her own dressing gown,following him out the door, up the attic stairs to Daisy's bed room.

Opening the door,Daisy was sat up in bed,she was still screaming... tears,streaming down her face.

"NO...NO...I'M NOT GOING,WITH YOU... Then.

UNCLE RORY...UNCLE RORY...WHERE ARE YOU...?"

He,hurried over to the bed.

The night light was on,Rory turned on the lamp at the side of the bed. Daisy was still sobbing slightly,going...

"No...No...go away.."

Rory realising she was still dreaming,in a nightmare,sat on the bed next to her.

"Daisy...sweetheart,it's alright,I'm here,I'm here"

He put his arms round her.

Daisy was shaking.

"The lady,the lady...she wants to take me away!" Daisy sobbed still,though she was starting to wake.

"Uncle Rory...you weren't there,I couldn't find you!"

"I know,love,but I found you and I'm here now. No one is going to take you away,I will make sure of that"

Amy stood near the door when,Tom's bedroom door opened,and he stood there rubbing his eyes.

"Auntie Amy,is Daisy,okay?" He yawned.

Going over to him,

"It's alright,Tom,she's had a bad dream,Uncle Rory's with her. Come on,back to bed"

She put him back into the bed,covering him.

Tom was asleep. Going back to Daisy's room,Rory looked up in question.

"He's asleep" She said quietly.

Rory was lay on the bed with his arms round Daisy. She was half asleep.

"Daisy,do you want go back to sleep now?" he asked,trying to get off the bed.

"NO!" She was frightened,started to shake again.

"You will go away and leave me!" Daisy's grip tighten on him.

"I'm not going anywhere,sweetheart," She looked at him in panic.

"I'll stay here if you want. No one is going to take you away.

When Mummy and John are not here,Auntie Amy and me will look after you,always"

Rory was stroking her head.

"Daisy?"

Amy came over to the bed.

"She's asleep,but I think your stuck,stupid face" She said softly.

Daisy was lay across his chest,griping on to his dressing gown.

"Oh well,I did get to sleep in my own bed tonight,even if it was only a couple of hours. Do you want to cover us up?"

The duvet was on the floor. Amy picked it up,Rory was propped against the head board,

he didn't look very comfortable.

"Are you sure you'll be okay,Rory you don't look like you will get much sleep"

"It's,not,but what choice,do I have?"

Amy went back downstairs. She came back with the two pillows from Rory's side of the bed.

Put them behind his head,to try and make him comfortable for the rest of the night.

Daisy moaned in her sleep...saying.

"No..."

"Hush,sweetheart,it's okay,I'm still here"

He kissed her head. Daisy settled again.

Amy pulled the covers up saying,

"Think I'll go and get the camera...John and Clara would love to see this..."

"Don't you dare!" He said then.

Amy grinned at him,

"Are you sure your okay,Rory?"

"I'll be fine" Looking at his watch.

"2am,Amy you go back to bed,there's no point in us both sitting up all night"

"Are you,sure?" She yawned.

"Yes...go,Tom will be up again in about five hours,no point in us both being like zombies"

"Okay",she said then,kissing him.

"I love you,Super Mum,shout if you need anything"

"Amy" he said, has she got to the door.

"What?" Turning back.

"I love you to"

Amy went back down to her bedroom,it was a little lonely in the bed on her own.

She smiled remembering what they had done a few,hours ago.

They had actually managed to make love for the first time in months,and it felt great!

Poor Rory,though had drawn the short straw,with Daisy having a bad dream.

Poor kid! It wasn't her fault,if anything it was that woman who had tried to take her away.

She hoped Rory would be able to sort things,out for Clara and John.

If that woman had to be involved in Daisy's life,she shuddered to think how John would be if she hurt her.

Rory would sort it tomorrow,

Amy turned on her side and went to sleep.

A/N 

Good place to end this chapter?

Poor,Daisy,but Rory and John will sort

things out.

There is going to be something about Wills wife,but what?

Please read and review.

Chapter 71 up soon.


	71. Chapter 71

Return to Love

Chapter 71

After Amy had gone back downstairs Rory lay with Daisy fast asleep across his chest,still clinging to him for dear life! In away he'd half expected this fear and the nightmare,because she had been so terrified when he had confronted that woman in the office.

'That woman' he thought 'How bloody dare she do this to Daisy. Soon as he could later today,Rory was determined to get the ball rolling. He was going to find out where Will and his wife lived,if he could stop him even getting access to Daisy Rory would do it.

He tried to move into a more comfortable position,as he was getting stiff lying still. Daisy moaned in her sleep.

"Hush sweetheart,it's okay I'm not going anywhere" he said softly.

Glancing again at his watch,three o clock. Rory "started to doze and think! He smiled.

It had been great making love to Amy earlier,even with the embarrassment of John's comment.

It had given him the push as they use to talk about sex and girls all the time before Sue. It had only stopped then. When John met her.

Rory remembered that day well. When John came to work at Masters Chambers with him. Rory had worked there himself for six years, when there was a vacancy for a senior solicitor. John was working in a junior position at another chamber's at the time-

Flash back,four years before;

"Look John you've had the interview,I know you have got the job. It's just 'Old man Wise' likes to keep you waiting before he says yes or no"

John who was sat on the chair in Rory's office that was in front of his desk looked at his friend. He had loosened his tie.

"Do you really think so? Maybe he has someone else in mind for the job,perhaps even Jack?"

Rory pulling at his fringe looked over at John.

"Don't get me wrong mate,I like Jack. You know as I do he is only playing at this because of his private income. I think we need someone who will do the work,not just come and take a pick of the cases.

Rory's phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello,Yes,Jayne he is. I'll tell him thanks"

Putting the phone down,turning back to John said.

"Mr Wise wants you to go back to his office now,he guessed you were in here with me. Well what are you waiting for?"

Getting up. John straightened his tie and smoothed down his hair. He paused to look back at Rory.

"You won't find out stood there mate. Go on"

Rory said to him again.

Has John went out the door he noticed he had his fingers crossed behind his back.

Rory sighed. That was John. Sometimes he worried about him,he really did. It wasn't his work no he could handle that. In the twenty odd years that Rory had known his friend there was something,but he wasn't sure what? John was very hard to puzzle out.

At the moment,John was back living with his Dad Brian in Leadworth. Though he did have the London flat his parents had left him. John didn't like or want to talk about his parents,in case it brought back the nightmares. If this job came up and Rory thought it was in the bag. John would have to make other arrangements,he couldn't keep driving between London and Leadworth.

'Least I can keep an eye on him here' he thought. Rory would have him to stay with him and Amy,but knew since they had married six years ago John wouldn't push himself on them. He said they needed their space. It wasn't as though he could stay with Auntie either,she had sold her London flat just after his and Amy's wedding. She now owned a hotel in Tadchester,which if anything was as far away as Leadworth was.

There was a knock on the door. Jack came in, he looked round then over at Rory.

"No John?"

"He's gone back into see Mr Wise" Rory volunteered.

Jack sat down. Rory sighed it looked as though he wouldn't get any more work done today. John was one thing,but when Jack sat down to talk it usually meant he'd decided to stop work for the day even if things were half finished. God help his clients!

"I thought we could take him for a drink to celebrate after all its in the bag isn't it, the job?" Jack said. Thinking the same as Rory.

"I don't know about that Jack. John might not want-"

Rory started to say.

"Oh come on Rory he's a big boy now I'm sure he doesn't need you to hold his hand all the time"

Jack couldn't understand how protective Rory was of his friend all of the time. He had first met John at Rory's stag night,then the wedding six years ago when John was best man. He found him pleasant enough,if a little to quiet some of the time.

Rory hadn't told him much,only that John had lost his parents at three years old. That he'd lived with him and his Dad who had brought him up. Maybe that's why he treated him like a younger brother to be looked out for?

"One drink,unless you have to get back to the wife? Got you on a short lead has she?" He said in amusement.

" Amy isn't like that at all!" Rory said sharply.

"One drink if John wants to. Okay?"

John put his head round the door looking really miserable.

'Oh heck' Rory thought. 'He's blown it'

Getting up and going over to him.

"Never mind mate,there will be other jobs"

He patted John on the shoulder.

"Really wanted this one. In fact got this one,start next week"

John suddenly grinned,blew on his fingers stuck his thumb up.

"Piece of cake!"

"John ,you,sod!" Rory said to him,grinning back.

He'd been had by Prince of the wind ups again.

John noticed Jack then sat on the chair by Rory's desk.

"Hello,Jack didn't know you were here"

He looked over at Rory.

"I can come back later,if your in a meeting?"

John didn't quite know what to make of Jack. He found him loud and brash. Suppose he would have to get use to him,especially as he was going to work at Masters with him now.

"That's okay,no meeting -"

"In fact we thought we'd take you for a drink"

Jack got it in before Rory could finish what he was saying to John.

"Celebrate this new job of 'yours.

There's a new wine bar,thought we could check out the talent there"

Winking at them both.

"Jack" Rory stood with his arms folded," I'm a married man"

"We're not," Jack indicating John and himself.

"Young, free and single that's us right John? Nothing to stop you looking though,Williams?"

"Okay,I'm game " John said.

Rory couldn't believe what he was hearing,for though he had said to Jack that they would go for one drink. He didn't think John would agree to it for he wasn't one for socialising.

"Great!" Jack said getting up.

" I will see you both in reception, about half an hour?" Looking at his watch.

"Give me chance to find that packet of condoms!" with a wicked look to Rory.

"I'm joking,I'm joking!" He said going out the door. When Rory narrowed his eyes at him.

Rory looked over at John,

"You are sure you want to do this? Jack can be a little into your face sometimes"

"Its fine Rory"

John said.

"I've got to get use to him if I'll be working with him right?"

"Just don't believe half of what he tells you" Rory said back to him.

" I don't. Rory I might not have been practising long,but know a liar and a romancer when I see one"

Remembering some of the tales Jack had spun at Rory and Amy's wedding,especially about how many women he had slept with! If he was to be believed it was more than he and Rory put together. Maybe not as many as Jack made out!

"The only true thing about Jack is he does have a private income. Though has to show he is working to get it"

"Oh" John said puzzled by that comment.

Rory looked over at his friend,then decided to tell him.

"John,in our job we have to have confidentiality,right? Well it's not just to our clients it's too our colleagues as well"

"Yes I know all this,so?" John said to him.

"The 'Old Boy' network"

Rory said.

"Old man Wise knows Jack's Dad and he's also his Godfather that's why he has a job here. You don't think he would get away with what he does or doesn't do here at another chamber's?"

"So it's keep your mouth shut John?" John said looking over at Rory from the chair he was sitting in.

"Unless it anything to do with a case you are working on. Which it shouldn't be as Old Man Wise likes us to work on individual cases" Rory said.

"Like I said before Jack likes the pick of the cases,though he has made on one or two mistakes lately. Clients complain. Nothing too serious yet,but Jack's on a warning now"

Rory paused then.

"You might even find yourself working on a case Jack has cocked up,I've had a few of them myself but as I've said-

"- just get on with it, because Mr Wise doesn't like tital tattling " John finished.

"Exactly I know it seems hard John and much as I like Jack,I can't see him working here for very much longer"

"Right" John said ." I don't find it hard at all Rory" he shrugged," it's just one of those things" he got up.

Rory turning off his computer,went towards the door and John said.

" And I know you will keep what I said between us?"

"Course"

John was under no illusion about Jack himself,but didn't want Rory to get into any trouble for office gossip. They both went to meet Jack in reception.

The wine bar which was down the way from the office had only been open a short time. It was one of those places that sold wine,beers and over priced cocktails.

The three men sat in one of the booths. Rory and John had their first beer still in front of them. Jack had already knocked back three glasses of wine.

"My round I think,come on you two catch up"

Jack was slurring his words as he got up from his seat to go to the bar. Rory watched him as he nearly tripped over his feet.

"Not sure if this was a good idea" Rory said.

Remembering how plastered Jack had got at his wedding. He hadn't caused a problem as such just passed out in one of the lounges and a couple of Rory's other friends had put him to bed. He had been relieved about that as he had not wanted to upset the day for Amy.

"Rory " John said to him.

"Jack can still knock them back I see. Thought he had a drink problem at your wedding"

"Looks like it" Rory said. " That is why he doesn't get invited to come for a meal at ours"

John thought about that. He knew Rory and Amy had dinner parties. for clients, sometimes Mr Wise. It was part of his job. He had been to a couple himself to make up the numbers. Pond was always trying to fix him up with friends of theirs.

So far he had got out of It!

"What is he doing now!?"

Rory exasperated, was watching him at the bar. While waiting to be served,Jack was talking to a blond woman who was sat on a stool there. If you could call it talking. First his hand was on her back,then it moved down to the woman's bottom.

She pushed it away! When Jack tried to put It back again! She slapped his face!

"Ow!" Rory said, " I felt that!"

He grinned at John,

"Serve him right?"

" Yes he asked for that!"

Jack came back then with their drinks. Sitting down at table rubbing at his face,said.

"Tarty piece that. Thought she might have been good for a quick shag " He shrugged. " Plenty more fish in the sea,the nights young"

"Jack that's not nice" John said coldly.

"She's a woman,not a piece of meat "

Jack throwing back his drink then looked at John said.

"So you've noticed? I was beginning to wonder. Thought perhaps you 'batted' for the other side. The amount of time you two spend together!"

Pointing to Rory and him.

"That's enough Jack" Rory said. "You go to far!"

"Right then prove it,go chat up that tar-I mean 'lady' Jack finished.

Seeing the look on John's face as he said it.

John pausing then got up from his seat.

"Okay then"

"John you don't have to do this to prove a point to him!" Rory nodding at Jack.

"Rory it's alright, I think I should go and apologise. Let her know we're not all sexist like him"

John walked across to the bar.

Rory watched him go. This was getting way out of hand thanks to Jack. It was as though he was trying to bait John,not to mention himself.

He was starting to dislike him intensely,it was the way he treated Women. He knew Jack was no Saint but he seemed worst when he was drunk! Looking at him now smirking as he watched John going up to the bar.

"He'll be back in a moment,with his tail between his legs,won't have the bottle!"

"If she smacks John's face,I will punch you!" Rory said in anger.

" Temper,temper Rory like I said before John's a big boy now" Jack replied.

John his courage nearly deserting him the nearer he got. In his job he found could talk too anyone. 'Gift of the gab' Rory called it,telling John that's why he made such a good solicitor.

It was the opposite sex on a social scale he had problems with!

The blond woman was still sat on her stool staring into the glass in front of her. Stirring it with one of those plastic cocktail sticks.

"Er,hello" he said smiling at her.

Sue looked up from her cocktail. Her date had stood her up. Saying that though it didn't give any man the right to paw her,well not unless there was anything in it for her!

"Has your friend sent you over for a try now?" She said to him,sarcastically.

"No,no nothing like that!" John said going bright red.

"I'm sorry about him,he's an idiot. Look could I buy you a drink? As a apology?"

Sue looked at the man standing in front of her he looked nice,if a little on the timid side. Floppy dark hair,pointed chin,cute looking too. She smiled,turning to him now. John was stood against the bar. Gazing into her eyes,the bluest he'd ever seen!

"Yes,I'd like that-"

"- Like what?" John said smitten as he was,had forgotten the question.

"- glass of white wine please" Sue said smiling again at him.

John ordered two white wines and sat down on the stool next to her.

"John Smith" taking her hand in his.

"Susan Jackson-Sue"

"Hello"

"Hello"

Smiling at one another.

It went quiet then.

"Are you-" Sue said.

"Do you,?-" John said at the same time.

They both laughed.

" What were you going to say?" Sue said to him.

"I was going to ask you the old question do you come here often?" John said.

"Well in reply I was going to ask if you and your friends came here to chat up the girls?" John going red again said.

"No,nothing like that"

'Maybe Jack might' he thought

Sue said back to him. " I was stood up by a friend. A girlfriend"

John nodded.

This wasn't strictly true but Sue thought this man didn't need to know that,even if this lead nowhere.

"This is the first time I've been here" John replied. "Not sure about Rory"

"Rory?"

"My other friend,we came here for a drink to celebrate my new job" he glanced back over at the other two men still sat in the booth. Jack was leaning on Rory going to sleep. John sighed.

" I really should help Rory get Jack home the state he's in" looking back to Sue,wishful.

" I'd much rather stay here and talk to you" he swallowed. "-could I have your number see you again?"

Sue looked at the pleading in John's eyes

'Got him!'

she thought knowing that most of the men who came to the bar had high powered jobs,money. John and his friends looked the type,even the one with the 'wandering hands'

She took a pen from out of the bag on the bar,wrote a number on one of the cocktail napkins. Passed it to John. He grinned.

" I'm staying with Rory and his wife Amy for a few days,until I get my own place down here. Phone you tomorrow arrange something for later this week?"

" Look forward to it" Sue kissed his cheek. Getting up to leave "See you soon?"

Waving too him as she walked out the door.

John waved back then walked over to the booth. By now Jack was fast asleep with his head on John's side of the seat,where Rory had pushed him after he had tried to go to sleep on his shoulder. Looking up as John came over.

"Suppose we'd better get him into a taxi? Never again John,will I go for a drink with him!"

Pointing at Jack who was starting to snore,

"Rather walk on hot coals,stick pins in me_ no in him!"

Rory was fed up. He just wanted his bed,but they would have to take Jack home first! Noticing the look on John's face,the silly smile.

"What?"

"I know that look,haven't seen that on you since that date with Brenda Jones. End of year school disco,Leadworth, 2001. She gave you that love bite on your neck!"

-"Ror-ry"

John was bright red with embrassment for about the third time that night he looked round to see if anyone was listening.

" The woman at the bar,she gave you her phone number right?" Rory guessed.

"Yes-"

"John,you are sure about this?"

"About what Rory?"

He put Jack's arm round his neck,

"Come on let's get him in the taxi,take him home"

Rory took Jack's other arm,

"John?"

"It's only a date,nothing might come of it. Bloody hell,Rory I'm twenty nine not a sixteen year old spotty kid! I think you forget sometimes,I'm the same age as you. I stopped having the nightmares years ago!"

John did look happy. Rory let it go for now. They got Jack home by taxi and then went home themselves.

The next morning,Saturday. John was staying with Amy and Rory until the following weekend like he'd told Sue. He wanted to look for a flat,which Rory was going to help him with.

Ten o' clock Rory was having a lie in. He was thinking of getting up for breakfast. John would be already up he thought,as he had to be sick to stay in his bed. Even then it took Auntie or his Dad to persuade him to stay put! Rory yawned, stretched,turned over on to his other side. He closed his eyes,

'Five more minutes' he thought.

Suddenly,there was yelling and shouting. Rory started up from the bed.

"What the hell!?"

Grabbing his dressing gown from the chair,throwing it on and hurrying downstairs.

Amy was stood in the middle of the kitchen shouting at John who was emptying the rubbish bin all over the floor.

"Raggedy Man,what do you think your doing? My clean floor!"

"Pond,where is it! What have you done with the stuff that was in my suit pockets- I've got to find it!"

"What stuff out of your pockets? There was an old piece of tissue,with your keys on the coffee table,other bits of paper with half a sticky packet of polo's stuck to it. I asked you if it was rubbish,you said it was!"

Amy said back to him.

"I forgot It wasn't a tissue!" John wailed then.

"It's a napkin and its got her phone number on it! Where is it,I've got to find it!"

He was on his hands and knees sorting through the rubbish.

Amy looked at Rory as though to say,

'He's your friend,you sort it out!'

"John,for God sakes!"

Rory said,as an empty packet that had contained last night's supper pasta,flew past his ear!

"Will you calm down,I -we will sort it! John!"

Rory grabbed for him.

"Will you STOP it! I will look if you let me,I can't if your throwing the contents of the bin at me!

John had a manic look in his eyes,then flinched away from Rory as he leaned over him. Then there was a dazed look in his eyes as though he wasn't there.

"I'm sorry- didn't mean it-I'm sorry" he was saying softly.

"John mate?"

Rory didn't really understand what was going on. He still had one hand on his arm.

Then John shivered and seem to come back to.

"Have you found it?" Looking directly at Rory.-"

-"What?"

"Sue's phone number on that napkin?"

"Is this it?

Amy said then, bending down picking up a crumpled paper tissue with black writing on it.

"Yes,it is Oh thank you Pond!" Taking it from Amy and then kissing her.

" She might think I was all talk,that I didn't really want to phone her back,"

looking over to Rory. With the napkin in his hand.

"I like her,I really do"

"Yes I know,do you think we could get up off the floor now?"

John and him were still kneeling on the floor among the rubbish.

"I'm sorry,I will clean it up"

John said then getting up,realising the mess he'd made. Starting to pick up the packets and other things,from the floor.

"Er,never mind,Raggedy Man,I'll do it"

Amy said taking the things from him.

"You get dressed,then I'll make breakfast,go on"

John hesitated. Then he headed upstairs.

Rory helped her to pick the rubbish up from the floor,they were both quiet,then Amy said.

" John is alright isn't he ?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Rory had told her about his meeting with Sue in the wine bar,the night before.

"Then why did he go all weird on you like that?"

She asked him.

"You noticed that as well? I think it was because he got upset,some sort of panic attack? Seems alright now" Rory said.

"Maybe this date is not good idea, I mean any woman that Jack knows as got to be bad news,right?"

"Amy,I can hardly forbid him to go. He's twenty nine,as he reminded me last night. I can hardly go all Victorian Dad on him. Besides,I don't think Jack knew her as such"

He smiled. " She smacked his face"

Rory poured himself a coffee,sat down at the table.

"Look,he's got the job he wanted,all we've got to do now is find him somewhere to live"

"He could stay here with us" Amy stated then.

"You know as well as I do,he doesn't need that. I want him where I can keep an eye on him,but as he's reminded us often enough we need our space as much as he does"

_"But Rory "Amy said.

"Amy,you can't keep babying him he's not three anymore"

He reminded her.

"It's just, I worry about him"

-"And you think I don't?"

He said sharply,looking up at her. Amy bit her lip and came over sat on Rory's knee. She touched his face.

"Your right,Rory and I know you do worry about him,as much as I do and always will,but he needs to get on with his life meet someone right?"

"Maybe it will be this Sue,if not there are plenty more fish in the sea"

Rory said then with his arms round Amy.

"If he doesn't meet the one,he will have his career,us,and he will make a great Uncle"

"Ah,that" Amy said then,with her arms still round her husband. She looked over at a spot above his head.

"I'm sorry,sweetheart,it was a false alarm again,I started this morning"

Looking back at Rory again,saw the fleeting look of disappointment, in his eyes. He covered it up,but Amy knew how important having a baby was to him.

"Oh,well next month,maybe" he kissed her.

"Think of the fun we can have in keeping trying" Amy said when she came up for air.

_"Now?" Rory queried.

"Tonight,best friend in the house,besides I thought you wanted to take him to see some flat agency's"

Amy got up from his knee, as she heard John coming back downstairs.

Present time

Five o clock. Daisy seemed more relaxed now,Rory had been dozing, thinking about the past.

It had been a round of flat agents looking for somewhere for John to live,but find something they did.

It was,a furnished one near to the office.

John rang Sue,made a date for that night. He seemed happy enough,especially after they became a couple.

Two years past. Rory didn't see him as much out of work,smitten as he was with her. They did see them both as a couple socially especially if they came to one of the dinner parties for work. Amy didn't like Sue all that much.

They had many fights about how she wasn't right for John,not good enough for him. Rory didn't want to rock the boat, remembering how John had gone that day in the kitchen.

If he was like that over a lost phone number,what would he be like if they split up?

John seemed happy,until one night they sat in the wine bar after work and he told Rory Sue was pregnant!

When he asked his friend what he was going to do,John said they were going to get married.

Thinking back Rory wondered If perhaps John suspected by then if Sue was expecting,it wasn't his baby,but he had no really proof. Rory himself thought it as well.

Should he had said something to John? But he was too scared of losing his friendship. If he voiced his suspicions or an opinion.

John wanted a family,as much as he did!

So they got married.Surprise,surprise,the pregnancy was a false alarm. Amy and him had a 'ding dong' of a row,when that came out!

'Why didn't you talk Raggedy Man out of it! She's only after his money,the flat'

Would John have listened to him though? He still seemed happy, though there was something in his eyes.

He told Rory everything was fine.

He was doing well in his work at Master's. Things had moved on a pace there as well.

Jack had left,he had got a job at another chamber's. 'Old boy network' again,Rory thought. More friends of Daddy's! Until he cocked it up there as well-! though,

Rory knew he was still out on bail for supplying the drugs to Sue,if he was found guilty,his career would be over anyway.

Daisy muttered in her sleep and turned over. Rory got out of the bed quietly covered her back up. She didn't move again.

He went and used the bathroom.

He came back. Rory could have gone downstairs,got into bed with Amy. Daisy seemed calmer. He was wide awake, still thinking about John and his problems so went to sit on the sofa that was in the corner of the attic room.

It was a scruffy old shabby thing that had seen better days. Rory's Dad had let him have it from out of the playroom at his house,when he'd moved to London from Leadworth.

Rory pulled his knees upto his chest.

There was an old crochet blanket on the back of the sofa. His Mum had made it when he was a baby.

Rory liked the feel of it. It reminded him of her, if he was upset or like now when he needed to think. He held it to his face.

Though he had lost her before John,and had told Clara that he didn't hurt because he didn't remember.

That wasn't strictly true,he did. Rory chose not to think about it because his Dad had hurt so much at that time,as well after his Mum died. His Mum had died of a brain tumour.

She had been having headaches which had only come out after,when it was too late. They were living in London because of his Dad's job.

Brian blamed himself for not noticing about his Wife's health,though Rory never did. He then moved his son back to Leadworth , he couldn't look after him and work. Brian needed to earn a living,but also so he wouldn't have to think about his home life. Sometimes he forgot he had a son. Rory's Grandmother did the day to day things,with the help of a housekeeper.

Rory smiled when he thought of her now. Granny Joanie. She had her aches, though was still very active for 95! She thought the world of John,another Grandson. Rory was looking forward to her meeting Clara,Daisy,the twins!

Also Tom,they must try and fit a visit in before the wedding,maybe sometime in the next two weeks?

Rory had only wanted his Dad back then,but he was always busy,always working.

They had talked just before his, wedding to Amy. His Dad had apologised to him for not being there for him during that time.

It was only when John came into their lives again that he realised how much his son needed him,as much as John did.

His Dad,had come back to life when John came back on the scene. The first time,before they had moved to London,Rory had hated John.

Thinking back,maybe it was because he was leaving Leadworth,leaving Amy behind. They were great best friends by then. She was mothering John as well,and he hated it! Hated him! It's funny how things change,in what less than a year,he mused. Talking to Dr Barclay had made Rory remember a lot more since as well.

They both came back to Leadworth,and John moved in with his Dad and him. All it took was that comment from his Dad, 'Think of someone other than yourself,my lad',John's tears and Rory swearing to look out for him. Amy did that anyway,this time he found he didn't mind.

He had asked his Dad weeks ago, he'd rung to tell him what was happening to John, if there was anything he remembered about John's 'parents' He swore he didn't know about John's real Mum.

She hadn't been seen in the village when she was pregnant.

John was there,and through well looked after,seemed terrified of his Dad. He thought they had adopted him from an agency.

Brian remembered the nightmares from when he had lived with him and his son,but thought it was,down to the trauma of losing his parents and the car crash. Anyway they had gone away as he got older.

But they hadn't.

Rory told his Dad what had come out with the talking to Dr Barclay in the last few weeks. He didn't think John would mind his Dad knowing,as he thought of him as Dad anyway,he still called him that,it was never,Brian or Uncle!

Brian was not very happy when he found out about what John's Dad had nearly done to him,and Auntie for that matter.

Saying to his,son that if he had known he could have been there more for him. Also he would have knocked seven bells out of that bloody pervert! Rory had never known his Dad so angry! It took him over half an hour to calm him down.

"Dad,I need you to be calm about this,John still has a long way to go yet,but he doesn't need patting on the head going there,there !

"Now would I do that?" Brian said back to his son.

"Just treat him as normal,when we come to see,you in a few weeks"

"When has,John ever been normal?"

Brian said in high amusement thinking of the over active child and then teenager he'd help bring up.

" Yes,well" Rory said. "Just treat him as you normally do. Dad,I don't want Granny Joanie knowing about John's 'problems' You can tell her about Auntie being his Mum,but the other things,I told you that in confidence"

Rory had told his Dad everything from Sue leaving him,sleeping with Jack, crashing John's car to the drugs and John's suicide attempts,his breakdowns.

How,he was now helping him with the talking to Dr Barclay.

He had hung up that day with a love to Granny Joanie,and Brian saying how he was looking forward to seeing them all,especially his new,'Grandson' Tom.

Wait until he found out what had happened since. Bodies in trunks at Auntie's hotel,Daisy nearly being kidnapped! Rory thought then.

He opened his eyes,Daisy was still sleeping. Why wasn't he? The trouble was,he had everybody else's problems to sort. Sleep was passing him by.

John and Sue carried on.

Sue was working away as a model now.

Before they were first married,John had got her a temp job at Master's. She had decide it wasn't for her. Rory had been secretly relieved,because she was flirting with other men especially Jack,behind John's back. It seemed totally innocent,nothing he could put his finger on.

Anyway,after that the modelling contracts started,so more often than not Sue was away. Rory saw more of John when she was. He was quieter than usual,even for him. He still did his,work,they discussed the cases they were working on. Had a drink in the wine bar after work. He even stayed with Amy and him one or two nights,one of the things,he hadn't done since he married Sue.

There was one night he was staying with them,that Rory thought he heard him crying out in his sleep. Something he hadn't heard for the last twenty odd years. Amy was asleep next to him. Rory was about to get up and see if everything was alright with him,but he heard him get up,go to the bathroom. Then it went quiet,so he let it go.

A couple of days later,the shit hit the fan. John came home from work and found Sue in bed with Jack!

Rory had seen him at work earlier that day,he had been excited because Sue was back from Milan that evening after being away a week. They both had the afternoon off from work,Rory so he could spend time with Amy,John had a surprise planned for Sue.

He couldn't wait to see her. John had gone back to his parents flat where they had lived since they were married.

That had been Sue's idea as well,after all she said why pay out perfectly good money in rent,when he already owed a flat!

That was where John's world came crashing down!

Rory got a phone call from him about twelve that afternoon from the train station when he decided to go to Tadchester. He remembered that day. His mobile rang. Looking at the screen,then to Amy, puzzled as he sat curled up on the sofa with her. John's name flashed on to the screen.

"Hello mate,thought you'd have been busy planning tonight-"

He was going to take Sue out for dinner.

"Rory,I-I Sue,she,she," John was bearly holding it together,the tears not far away.

"John?" Rory sat up then. "Talk to me,please,your frightening me now,as something happened to her?"

Amy sat up away from him,in panic.

"What's the matter is Raggedy Man,okay?"

Rory heard him clear his throat, switched the speaker on his phone so Amy could hear.

"Oh,Sue's just fine,but she can go to hell for all I care and take that fucking Jack Harkness with her!"

Sounding so bitter!

Rory's heart plummeted,he knew something really awful had happened. Looking at Amy.

"Are you going to tell me what's happened mate?" He said softly. Knew that John was on the edge and could collapse if he pushed to hard for an explanation.

"Oh it's nothing much" John said sarcastically "I walked into the bedroom found my wife in bed with one of my friends!"

"John are you still at your flat now?"

"No-I'm somewhere -else" he said."I hit Jack and left"

"John do you want me to come and get you? You can come here to Amy and me" Rory said.

"No,but could you do something for me?"

"Anything,you know that,mate"

"Could you go to the flat,pick up something's in my overnight bag,I think the birds will have flown by now. I might do something I will regret if she is still there,if I go. I have never hit a woman but today I nearly did"

John's voice was shaking.

"I will do that,where do you want me to meet you?"

Thinking he was going to say the wine bar,and he could perhaps talk him into coming back home with him.

-"The train station-"

"What! John,where are you going!"

Rory,I need to get away,but I need to talk to you before I do! Please,will you do this for me? I will explain when I see you"

Rory sighed,thinking he could Still talk John from leaving. God only knew where he was thinking of going?

"Okay,John,one hour,the cafe on the concourse?"

"Thanks,for this,Rory,see you soon?" He hung up.

Rory looked at his wife.

"Rory,you have got to stop him!" She said."I knew that fucking bitch would hurt him,and she has!"

-"AMY!"

Rory was surprised to hear words like that coming out of her mouth,then again,maybe not with it being John and her dislike of Sue.

Amy burst into tears.

"Oh,sweetheart" Rory put his arms round his wife. "I will sort it,I won't let him do anything stupid,look I'd better go get what he wants from the flat"

"Do you want me to come with you?" She said to him.

Rory kissed her on the head.

"I don't think you'd better,if Sue's still there its going to be hard enough me keeping my temper,let alone you scratching her eyes out! Beside we don't want to make things worst for John,right?"

Giving her a final hug,Rory went out to his car.

John's flat was only round the corner from the house,but because he was going straight to the station after,he thought he'd better drive as he would only have to double back.

He was just about to pull out from the drive when his mobile rang.

Turning off the ignition and grabbed it out from his pocket. It might be John again,and the state of mind he was in at the moment.

"Hello"

"Rory,is that you?"

"Auntie? Yes it is,are you okay?"

Rory had a feeling she had rung about John.

" John rang me,earlier" He was right.

"He wants to come to stay with me,apparently him and Susan have had a falling out?"

"It's a little bit more complicated than that,Auntie" Rory paused then. Wondering how much John had told her.

"What's happening Rory? He's told me his marriage is over,and is going to resign from Master's. He wants me to give him the job as my manager.

Because he has had a fight with Susan?" She seemed puzzled by this.

"What!" Rory couldn't believe what Auntie was telling him. No wonder John was at the station,he was going home. He decided to come clean with her,after all she was John's Aunt,his next of kin.

Something was very wrong,with John,this problem with Sue was only part of it!

Rory told her about John coming home from work and Finding Sue in bed with Jack.

"Isn't he that play boy who works at your chamber's?" Auntie said to him. "Oh my poor boy!"

"Not now,but that doesn't make it any better I know. Auntie,I think this as been going on for a while,and not only with Jack. Something has not been right with John for a while"

-"Do you think he's,sick?" Auntie said in panic to him.

I don't think it's a serious as that but there is- " Rory paused then.

"Look Auntie,John rang me to tell me what happened. I said I would pick something's up from the flat.

He's at the station must be coming home to you.I did try and persuade him to come back to Amy and me. Maybe we can get him to take some time out,not resign,just some leave"

"I do want a manager,but I'm not saying that because I want John home.I would rather him stay in London with you.

He has worked so hard for his career,you both have"

She sounded choked,

"I'm proud of you both,my boys"

Rory swallowed down his own emotions,saying.

Auntie,I will have to go,I will talk to him then I will let you know if he,is coming home to you or Amy and me,speak to you soon,bye"

"Bye,sweetheart,thank you"

Rory hung up,wiped the tears from his eyes and started the car.

A/N

Most of this is from Rory's point of view.

Some of the next chapter as well.

Please read and review.

Thanks for reading.

Next chapter soon.


	72. Chapter 72

Return to Love

Chapter 72

Rory drove round the corner to John's flat and parked up.

Getting out the car,he walked up the path to the front door. Taking the key out of his pocket, let himself into the flat.

Everything looked and sounded quiet. He could see into the lounge from where he stood,the bedroom door was open as well.

It was too peaceful,for anyone to be still in there. John was right,the birds had flown!

In the lounge, everything looked the same,as the last time Rory had been there. Except on the breakfast bar,was the cork from a bottle of champagne.

There was also a broken glass,it was as though someone had crushed it in their hand. Spots,of blood were on the floor leading from the lounge to hall, through to the bathroom. Another glass was on the coffee table next to a large bunch of red roses,that said on the card:

'For my Darling wife,Love John xx'

The bottle,what was left of it smashed to pieces against the lounge wall,liquid in a pool on the floor below.

_'Oh Christ!' Rory thought seeing the blood on the floor between the rooms as,he went about getting the things together John wanted. In the bathroom,there was a bloody towel in the sink as,though someone had tried to stop the bleeding.

Was the blood Sue's or Jacks? Worst still,was it John's? It looked as though someone had thrown the bottle against the wall in the lounge,as well crushing the glass in a hand,because he could see the blood drops on that as well! Rory,getting worried about his friend was about to leave,but went back to the bathroom,taking a towel, some bandages and wipes from one of the cupboards.

'Just in case' he thought,locking the flat and heading in the car to the station to meet John.

Station Concourse Cafe

John was sat in one of the booths waiting for Rory to arrive. It had been well over an hour now that he'd spoken to him on his mobile,over two since he had...No he wasn't going to think about that! If he didn't,maybe it didn't happen?

He couldn't keep denying it.

This time the evidence was in front of his eyes. Sue had been the love of his life,since he had met her four years before. John had known she was no angel,that she flirted with other men,but thought she was faithful to him has he had been to her. How gullible was he?

Rory stood near the entrance to the cafe,looking for John. The cafe ran the length of the train platforms,so that those who were waiting,could see the announcement board. There were a couple of booths towards the end of it,the idea was for them to be used for meetings, or couples wanting to say their goodbyes in private.

Rory thought he could just make out the back of John's head in the end one. He went over.

John looked up as a shadow passed his face. Rory thought he looked really ill. He also had a sort of bandage round his right hand.

Rory sat down opposite him quickly. Putting the bag next to him on the seat. They both sat in silence for a moment then John said,nodding to the bag.

"Thanks for bringing that for me,Rory,I'm sorry you have got caught up in my problems"

"John,I know you're hurting,but will running away solve this? Resigning from your job,going home to Auntie,how will it help?"

-"How did you-?" John looked over at his friend then.. " She called you-I told her not to tell you-I"

"And what were you thinking of telling Amy and me? What was,your plan John!? Tell me you were going to see Auntie for a few days,then not bother to come back?"

Rory was getting angry with him,but knew it wouldn't help John.

"Look mate,hiding will not take the pain away,wherever you are it will still be there"

Rory leaned over, touched John on his heart.

"But-Rory,I-It-hurts s-o much!" John was,starting to get upset.

"I..love loved h-er!"

The tears were starting to come.

"I know,there is nothing I can say that will help,only that it will take time. Okay John still go and see Auntie,but don't resign from your job,think things through first?"

"I-I can't,I need to get away" John looked at Rory with red eyes. Shaking his head.

"I'm sorry,but I don't want to be a solicitor any more,don't want to be here!"

"Does that mean you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore,or Amy?"

Rory said to him.

"What about us John,we both care a great deal about you"

"Of course I do! Your my best friends" John said.

"Then why are you pushing us away?"

"I'm not,why would you say that?"

John looked over at Rory,getting angry.

"You never liked Sue,did you? I know Pond didn't.

She thought Sue was a tart!"

"Amy never called her that!" Rory protested.

"Neither did I!"

-" You both thought it!"

John banged his fist down on the table.

It wasn't a good idea,as it was his bandaged hand.

"Oh fuck! I shouldn't have done that"

He was holding his hand in pain with the other.

"JOHN!" Rory tried to take his hand,John pushed him away. Pulling his hand back against his chest.

"Leave me alone,Rory! I don't need you,or Amy and I don't need that-that-cow-!"

It was as though all John's frustrations were,coming out with the pain. He was getting more angry!

That was when,blood starting to seep through the bandage,down John's wrist.

"John,your bleeding,what the hell have you done?"

Rory taking a clean towel out of John's bag. Quickly peeling back the bandage,putting pressure onto John's hand.

"I am taking you to A&amp;E"

When John opened his mouth to protest,

"Do as your told,John"

Rory putting more pressure on it.

"I'm going to Tadchester!" John said sulking.

He hissed with the pain from his hand.

"Not today,no way! Your coming back home with me after,and we are going to talk" Rory said to him.

"-No-,I don't have to listen to you!

Your not in charge of me!"

The look on John's face was just like when he was five! He had said that after one of his tanturums.

Rory half expected him to stamp his foot as well,the temper he was in.

"Maybe not,John but I can soon ring my Dad,get him to talk to you"

"-No, I said-I'm-"

"John,stop being so childish and stubborn!"

Pointing down to his hand.

"This might need a couple of stitches.

If you calm down,talk to me.I will call Auntie,tell her you will be there in a couple days,okay?"

"Your not going to stop me?"

"John,since when have I stopped you doing anything? " Rory looked again at his hand,then up at John.

"I can give you advice though,right? Whether you listen or take it is another matter"

John nodded,winced as Rory put the towel back over the cut.

"How did you do this anyway? I saw the broken glass at your flat,did you throw the champagne as well? Is that what smashed against the wall in the lounge?"

"Don't remember.I might have.

The glass was in my hand think I crushed it in temper,threw the bottle when I came out of the bedroom"

John paused trying to remember.

"I'd hit Jack,had a blazing row with Sue,called her a few choice names. Rory,I'm sorry for what I said about you and Amy not liking Sue"

"No it's alright,mate,we have tried to,for your sake,but-" Rory said back to him. He shrugged.

"I know,I'm just realising how other people see my wife now,'a cold hearted bitch' out for what she can get? My money,right?"

Looking over at his friend. He laughed.

"Jack,the day we met her. He called her a tart. He was right about that,suppose it has been staring me in the face for a long time. The flirting with other men,not just him. God knows what she was up to when she was away!"

John paused then. "I know Amy would never call her that, I'm sorry I said,that about Pond"

"John,it's fine,look,I don't think this is to serious,but on the safe side okay?" Pointing to his hand.

"Alright,long as you don't ring Dad" John agreed,got up holding the towel to his hand. Going towards the door.

Rory followed with his overnight bag. Smiling at that comment,he only had to mention his Dad or Auntie and John would do as he was told.

Present Day...7am Monday

Rory woke,he must have nodded off.

The duvet was over him,looking towards the bed. There was no sign of Daisy. Amy must have been in earlier,noticed he had got on the sofa,covered him up,then taken the kids downstairs for breakfast. That's why he wasn't being jumped on this morning.

Rory smiled and turned over,he would get up soon. He had lots to do today,ring Dr Barclay for one. Also finding out where Will and his,wife lived. There was also John's appointment this afternoon. Would they get him to talk more?

Rory thought about his friend now,as he lay with his eyes closed.

It was Monday when all this happened between John and Sue.

After Rory had taken his friend to the A&amp;E at the hospital to see to his hand,which luckily proved only to need a couple of butterfly stitches. He managed to persuade John to stay with him and Amy,for a couple of days. He was going to put him on the train to Tadchester Thursday afternoon.

John was still adamant he was going to resign from his job. Because he had holidays owed from Master's,Rory managed to persuade him with back up from Auntie,to take two weeks to think things through.

"You can still come back,and will be giving Auntie a hand until she finds someone,if you decide it's not for you,John" Rory told him.

'Least we know where he is and less chance of bumping into Sue,if he's out of London' he thought.

He told Amy in bed later,Sue might try to get round John for another chance to save their marriage.

"And,do you think he will go for that?"

"I don't think he will,he's been hurt,not only by her,but also by a man he thought was a friend"

He had lowered his voice,because John was only in the next room.

"Besides it might be as well that he is going to see Auntie for a couple of days.

Not that I think he will give her another chance,it would be up to John,but she might try to get round him,this will give him some breathing space"

"Do you think he will divorce her?" Amy asked him then.

"Maybe," Rory said, "but only if he wants it. I will sort it if he asks"

While Amy was sleeping,Rory thought about John again,he seemed as though he was holding things together at the moment.

Tomorrow was Thursday John would be gone,if only for two weeks.

Rory had asked him if he was sure he still wanted to do this?

John said yes,he wanted to think things through,then let Rory know if he was coming back to his job or not!

The next afternoon,he took John to the station for the one o'clock train.

"Are you sure about this,mate you can change your mind?"

John shook his head,

"No,I need to do this,Rory,you keep asking me,besides 'Old Man Wise'thinks I'm going away,time off,right?"

He paused then,"I'm looking,forward to seeing Auntie,I've neglected her this last four years,something else I've had my eyes opened about this last few days" he said bitterly.

Rory thought about that,John didn't even tell his Aunt when he married Sue, until after.

It was though he was ashamed to tell her about the pregnancy,then when it was a false alarm!

He kept in touch with Auntie Mary by phone.

She kept saying she wanted to meet his wife.

Sue was always saying,they were both busy,pleading work.

Rory felt she had tried to keep him away from Amy and him and they only lived round the corner.

He wouldn't..have seen him,if it wasn't for them working together!

It was as though she was trying to keep John away from his Aunt! One year,turned into two,then three,then four! It looked as though that wouldn't happen now.

Auntie meeting Sue.

The train came in handing John his bag. He hugged him.

" You know where I am if you need me,I will see you in two weeks? Give my love,to Auntie"

John shook Rory's hand then went to get on the train.

"I will. Ring you in the week,thanks again for what you've done,Rory." He smiled."Look after Pond for me?"

"Oh always,bye John," smiling as the train doors closed.

' We shall have to see how things work out now' he thought.

Rory had promised John to see if Sue was still living at the flat.

He wanted to see where she was himself. He didn't think there would be any going back now. Knowing John as he did,marriage was for life...

Unless you had the dirty done on you! Even if Rory wanted them to stay together,John wouldn't after catching her with Jack.

Amy hadn't said much to her Raggedy Man when he had brought him home, only returned the hug,after he hugged her saying.

'Sorry' to him.

Rory thought about the two weeks he had spent at the hotel with Auntie.

Thinking about it only John could fall head over heels in love,in such short space of time,with the right person. Both Amy and him thought Clara,was that.

Rory said to John weeks ago,Daisy and then the twins were the icing on the cake!

Rory liked Clara from when John first brought her to Masters to start his divorce from Sue. There was a light in his eyes ,he'd never seen in his friend before.

Sue had worked out he had gone home to his Aunts and followed him to try and talk him round.

He told her where to go,which the old John would never had done.

Even then Sue threatened to turn it round on to John,because Jack had seen him out with Clara,in his budding romance. It would have been so unfair,if she had bled John dry.

Rory thought she was getting more than enough when she kicked up a fuss about the settlement John first offered.

Rory wasn't to happy over,John giving her the London flat.

There was no changing his mind.

He didn't want Clara dragged into this! Something that wasn't her fault.

Rory turned on to his back. He also had problems of his own by then. Amy had found out she was pregnant the month before.

They had decided to start telling people John,his Dad,Amy's parents. That was,when the trouble had started between John and Sue. So their secret was kept for another two weeks.

John had started to be happy again,he had Clara,Daisy a new life in Tadchester.

He had now resigned from Masters,Rory was happy for him. He had the family he wanted.

Rory was looking forward to him bringing Clara and Daisy down to meet them properly and then they could tell them their own 'good news'

It was not to be. Amy shook him awake,frantic at seven clock one morning.

"Rory,Rory,"

"Whatss'd matter?"

Rory half asleep. Amy's face tear stained. Pulling back the sheet,there was blood on her side of the bed.

"Oh,my God!" Rory shot out of bed..Round to her side.

"Sweetheart,let me get you to hospital,"

He was grabbing for his mobile. Amy shaking her head.

Hand on his arm to stop him.

"No-no,Rory,it-it's gone,our b-baby's gone"

Not knowing what else to do,Rory called their family Doctor.

Because Amy was just coming up to six weeks,Dr David gave her some tablets in case there was anything else left to come away,but he didn't think so.

"You can ring the surgery if your worried about anything" he said patting Rory on the shoulder,as he took him back downstairs to see him out.

"These things happen,but Amy is in good health,so we will keep an eye on the next one"

"The next one,it's taken us ten years to get this far!" Rory said exasperated.

"Rory,there's no easy answer to this I told you a few years back,you are both in good health,the last tests both of you had proved that. You could hit the jackpot or not at all. If in next year nothing happens,I can refer you both for further tests. Maybe I.V.F.?"

Rory pulling his hand through his fringe,said.

"That's something I'll have to discuss with Amy"

"Well,you know where I am if you need me, I'm so sorry again. Bye Rory"

"Bye"

Rory shut the door behind him and went back upstairs to his wife.

Amy was lay in the bed,staring at the window which was on her side of the bed. Rory had stripped the bed and put everything in the washing machine before the Doctor came. She didn't look at him as he came back into the room,but said.

"Has Dr David gone?"

"Yes-Amy-" he started to say.

"-Rory-I'm sorry I can't give you the thing you want most a b-baby" she was starting to cry.

-" I'm sorry-I'm sorry!"

Rory hurried over to her.

" Oh,darling,that's not why I married you. So you could give me kids,I want you for you!"

Rory climbed on the bed,put his arms round Amy. She lay clinging, sobbing against his chest.

"It's all-m-my fault,yo-u should find someone who c-can"

"Hey,come on" he kissed the top of her head. Course it's not! It might be mine,you know the tests said there is nothing wrong with either of us. It's just one of those mysteries. Dr David told me we can try again,and I don't want anyone else,I want you"

"But,R-Rory"

"No,Amy,I love you,now come on,get some sleep"

"You haven't had your bb-reakfast,I should-"

Amy wiping her eyes,made to get out of bed,

"No Amy,stay there,you should rest" he pushed her gently,back into the bed. "For today?"

"Stupid face,you need to eat" Amy yawning,eyes closing.

"So I'll make some toast!" Kissing Amy again.

"-Can't survive on toast and coffee"

-" So,I'll do an egg as well,go to sleep" Rory realising she had. He got off the bed,putting the duvet over her.

" I love you" he whispered.

Leaving the door open in case Amy called out,Rory went downstairs to the kitchen. Making a coffee,and a round of toast,sat down at the kitchen table to eat it. Rory only had two bites of the toast,when he felt sick and had rush to the downstairs cloak room, where he threw up.

"Oh God,oh God!" looking,at his white face in the mirror over the sink. Rinsing out his mouth,splashing cold water on his face.

He didn't blame,Amy,he didn't! But there had to be some reason why they couldn't get pregnant! Rory wanted to speak to John badly,knew if he did he would charge back home to both his friends,because they needed him. No,he was,better where he was,getting on with his new life. Besides,he was coming to see them in a couple of weeks. He..they could cope until then.

In fact it was less than a week later,Amy and him were back to normal. Well as their life had been before the miscarriage. Rory thought sitting up on the sofa and glancing at his watch,seven thirty,he should get up soon,but was still In the past of his memories..

The day the police had been to John's flat,after Sue had crashed John's sports car into the wall near to their flat,killing herself. One of John's neighbours knowing he was away,but not where had pointed them to Rory,knowing he was a friend.

The police,telling Rory what had happened,wanted to go and fetch him from his Aunts,when he explained where John was..

When Rory also explained that he was John's solicitor as well as a friend,and because he was in the middle of a 'messy' divorce he would get hold of him,bring him to the station the next day?

The police were quite happy about this,but would not tell him any more until he got John.

All he knew was,she had crash his car into a wall near his flat,killing herself. Rory had to tell John now. Even though they were in the middle of a divorce,it was going to be a shock for John as he had loved her once.

This being late Sunday afternoon,Rory couldn't get hold of John,his mobile was switched off.

The number for Clara's flat,ringing and ringing for two hours. He kept trying.

Amy came into the office with a coffee for him.

"No luck?"

Rory shook his head.

"Still out,Auntie said he's taken Clara for a late lunch"

He had phoned earlier thinking John might be there.

He didn't want to tell her until he had spoken to John.

Auntie,knew John and Clara had some good news,but it wasn't her place to tell. All she would say was,John was happy,spending a lot of time at Clara's with her and Daisy. Rory knew they were planning on marrying once his divorce was final.

'There would be no need for that now' he thought.

" I'll talk to him later,bye Auntie"

"Maybe you should,try Auntie's again?" Amy said to him.

"No,she would have told him I'd rung if she had seen him. I've told him before about turning his 'bloody' mobile off!"

Rory was getting frustrated now.

"Sweetheart,perhaps he doesn't need to keep it on now he doesn't work at Masters?"

"But I have to get hold of him. I need to get him back to London,before tomorrow"

"And you will" Amy kissing him,picked up the phone.

"Here,try again it's nearly five they might be back"

Rory dialled Clara's number,it was picked up on the fourth ring with a puzzled hello by John's voice.

Rory fought down the urge to say to him,

'Where the bloody hell have you been?'

This conversation was going to be difficult enough,instead he said,

"John,is that you,Mate,I've been trying to get you all afternoon? Don't you answer your mobile?"

"Rory?" John sounded puzzled" Thought I was ringing you tomorrow,when I got the papers?"

He paused then.

"I've not used my mobile since I came here,not even sure If it's charged"

'Told you so',Rory 'with a look over at Amy.

He had switched the speaker on his office phone so she could hear.

"What's the problem?" John pulled up suddenly.

"Is Amy okay?"

Amy mouthed at him.

'No don't tell him' and shook her head at him.

Rory knew she didn't want him to tell John about the miscarriage a few days ago,and much as he wanted to talk to him himself about it,agreed with Amy.

"She's fine,"

he said swallowing the lump in his throat.

"but,I think you will have to sit down,it's Sue!"

"Oh what does she want now,I thought everything was settled"

"No it's not that,are you sitting down John?" Rory said then.

"FOR GOD SAKE,RORY,JUST TELL ME!" John was getting upset,which Rory didn't want.

Taking a deep breath,he said to him,

"She's been in car crash,she's dead,John"

It had gone quiet on the other end of the phone,Rory was shouting for him to answer and when there wasn't, thought he'd hung up.

When John eventually did answer,Rory thought he sounded as he was in shock even though he was asking him questions as to what happened. John said he would borrow Auntie's car..and come straight back to London.

Clara was coming as well,he was glad about that,she was just, what John needed.

Present Day 8am

Rory had got up from the sofa,when Amy came into the room.

"Oh your awake,then stupid face,I looked in at six and you were dead to the world"

She went over to him putting her arms round his neck,kissing him.

"What time did Daisy let you go,then? I noticed you managed to get on to the sofa.

Can't have been very comfortable on that old thing!"

Amy,nodding her head to the sofa.

"That old thing is more comfortable than a single bed with a seven year old hanging on to you all night" Rory yawned then.

" It was about five,I think"

Amy grinned at him,with her arms still round him.

"You looked so cute covered up with a pretty pink princess cover"

"Ha-ha,very funny,"Rory said back to his wife.

"Tom did offer to swop it for Spiderman,but Daisy insisted"

Rory looked at Amy,

-" How is she this morning?"

"Okay,I think,I don't know if she remembers the nightmare,or she's choosing not to"

Amy said to him,

"Maybe she might if she sees you,after all it was Uncle Rory she was screaming for last night"

"I'm hoping she is not going to ask to many questions,or she won't until John and Clara get here Friday" he said.

'Blast that bloody woman'

He said under his breath.

Rory kissed Amy,she let him go.

"Think I'll go have my shower,lots to do

Have to sort out about Will for next week.I also need to ring Dr Barclay,before I take John later"

"Okay,sweetheart,I'll tidy up here,see you downstairs in awhile?"

Amy watched him go,he looked tired. Poor Rory, had a lot to sort out today,she had hoped he would get some rest.

She knew it wasn't Daisy's fault,hoped she would sleep through without a nightmare tonight.

One hour later,Rory was sat in his office. He had an address and phone number for Will.

It had been easy enough to find like he told John it would be.

Wanting to get this done with as soon as possible,because talking with Dr Barclay was important as well. Rory picked up his phone and dialed the mobile number listed. It rang twice then,

"Will Davis"

-Mr Davis,Rory Williams"

"Rory! what can I do for you on this nice sunny day? I take it you have spoken to Clara?"

"No,but I have spoken to John about you want to see her" Rory replied back.

Wills tone changed then,he said coldly.

"Isn't this between Clara and myself,what has it to do with him?"

Rory,keeping his temper,said.

"It has a great deal to do with him,since they are to be married in a few weeks"

"So,Daisy is not his child! I will discuss this with Clara"

Rory ignoring his outburst said,

"John wants me to arrange an appointment with you for next Monday 11 0 clock at my office,the address is on the card I gave you"

"I want to talk to Clara..."

"She will be there as well,is the time agreeable?"

Rory still keep my his tone professional.

"Yes"

"I suggest you come by yourself,as John is not very happy with what happened to Daisy, your wife grabbing her yesterday"

"Marie did? Will said sounding puzzled."First I've heard about this? She's not even met Daisy"

'Want to play it that way,do you?'

Rory knew was something about this man he didn't like,and he wasn't going to let him walk over John and Clara.

"I think you should talk to your wife then,this happened at seven yesterday evening at the hotel she works at,The Mayflower?"

"Yes,she works there,on reception" Will allowed.

"I think she has met Daisy" Rory said then.

"In fact ,We all met your wife when we had dinner there"

Rory giving him a brief summary of what had gone on in the play area.

" I really don't think Marie would do that" Will said.

"And I certainty didn't put her up to it" He added.

"Well,we have proof of this" Rory said. "And I certainty wasn't happy about the way this happened. I was prepared to give your wife the benefit of the doubt,but because of evidence that came to light..later I'm not so sure now"

"Marie would not hurt a child,or anyone for that matter" Will repeated.

"I suggest you talk to her,about what happened,find out the facts. John and I will see you a week today, with Clara. Now I must get on,Good Morning" Rory hung up then.

There was something not right about this,but Rory could not work out .Yet.

Amy put her head round the door,

"Breakfasts ready Stupid Face"

Rory looked up from the papers on the desk.

"I still have to ring Dr Barclay about John.." he started to say.

Amy came over then.

"Rory,it's only ten now,I'm sure you can take half an hour to eat,talk to Tom and Daisy?"

She touched his face,

"Rory,you promised. You will get sick if you don't eat. Please sweetheart"

Rory looked at the panic in his wife's eyes.

He smiled at her.

"Amy,I'm going to eat,in fact I'm starving,just didn't...realise the time is all"

He paused then.

"I've sorted Will out for next Monday as John asked"

Telling Amy what he had said about his wife,and not knowing she had tried to kidnap Daisy.

Amy huffed then said.

"And do you believe him?"

"I don't know what I believe,but there is something not right about Will and his wife,but I'll find out"

Amy didn't doubt that Rory would.

"Come on sweetheart,breakfast.I'm going to take the kids shopping,and then to the park this afternoon,while your with Raggedy Man,that's alright isn't it?"

"Amy,we can't avoid places,any of us,in case Daisy gets taken,that's just paranoid.

In fact if I'm right about that woman,I don't think she would try anything as..she been warned"

Rory thinking about what he'd said to Marie in front of her boss in the hotel office yesterday.

"Let's go and have breakfast..see the kids" Getting up from his,desk taking her hand heading to the kitchen.

Later 11am

Rory back in his,office after spending a lovely hour having breakfast with Daisy and Tom.

Daisy seemed very pleased to see him,sat on his knee for a cuddle. To his relief,she wasn't 'clingy' or asking questions about what happened yesterday. He looked over her head at Amy,as Daisy was telling him they were going shopping with Auntie Amy,then to the park. She did ask why he wasn't coming,but seem to except his explanation that he had to go to work,as did Tom.

When they left just before 11. Rory kissing his wife,saying he would see her at supper time. Johns appointment,was for three,but thought there should be no problems,as Dr Barclay wanted just to talk this time,so didn't see any.

Back in his office,he was supposed to be talking to the Doctor,but found his mind wandering back to John,to some of the problems he had after he came back with Clara,when Sue died.

When the three of them realised John had lots of problems and they had to fight to get him to admit it,especially Rory.

Three months before:

John was back! Rory was very pleased to see his friend. Amy definitely was he thought,in amusement with the way she had jumped on him!

Clara was bemused by it all,as the four of them,stood in the hall. John with his arms round his two friends,telling how much he'd missed them. He had been away just two weeks. John nearly in tears,escaped to the cloak room then.

Rory,knew something was wrong,but what?

The moment was lost,because Clara had nearly fainted,told them both, she was pregnant!

'Blimey,John' he thought 'you have been a busy boy'

With a look at Amy over Clara's head they came to a silent joint decision,to keep quiet about the miscarriage.

John needed them,he knew,something was very wrong.

He didn't need to know about their problems at the moment.

Clara had seemed very upset,and it didn't seem to be only her pregnancy.

Telling them how John had been over the last two weeks. That he seemed different some of the time.

If things went wrong,it was his fault even when it wasn't.

He and Amy could remember some of how he was back then,especially how he was when he came to live with him and his Dad.

Rory had gone upstairs to look for John,finding him in the guest room.

Amy staying with Clara,downstairs,they were fast becoming good friends.

Both thought John had chosen the right one this time. All of them worried though,that John was on his way to a breakdown!

John had seemed different,Rory had only seen him less than a week ago at Masters,when he'd brought Clara with him to start the divorce from Sue.

Anger,which was only to be expected.

Sue had tried to talk him in to giving their marriage another go. John standing up to her,maybe for the first time. Not this time,John not happy about the divorce settlement, Clara's involvement. The time it was going to take. Rory saying to him.

"That's,the way it works,you know that,John"

Sat on the bed now,watching his friend. This looked different,something was very wrong! There was pure panic in John's eyes.

Concern for Clara,though the way he was at the moment was,upsetting her more.

John wanting to jump straight in,find out what had happened with Sue,no matter that it was after nine at night!

Rory telling John off. For his own good. He could tell this was some sort of panic attack,had Sue's sudden death something to do with this?

Rory wondered. John had gone from anger to panic. It was only the first day so put it down to tiredness. Back downstairs John putting on a face for Clara,oh the light in his eyes, was still there but ..something else as well? Even John's banter with Amy,was different? She had told him in the kitchen as they made coffee,how upset Clara was and both thought John was heading for a breakdown,agreeing. So did he.

All they could do was see what the next day brought. That started about 7.30am.

Rory half asleep in bed. Amy getting up to go down to make coffee came back into their bedroom a few minutes later.

"Rory,I've just met Clara coming out of the bathroom,I think she'd thrown up,morning sickness?"

Rory sat up in bed, yawning.

"Is she okay?

"Will be I've put her back to bed,the thing is,I can't find John"

"What do you mean...you can't find him?"

Rory, wide awake now.

"He wasn't in the room when I took her back,Clara said he wasn't when she woke. So l checked downstairs. He's not in the house"

Rory getting out of bed,started to get dressed quickly.

"The flat,that's where he will be,I'll go and see"

Seeing the worried look Amy was giving him,went over to kiss her,took her hand,squeezed it.

"He will be there,don't worry he will be fine,stay with Clara?"

Picking up his keys which were on they bed side table.

Both went on to the landing,where they could hear the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom.

"- Clara,oh I will kill John when you find him"

She said as,Rory headed for the stairs.

"I know morning sickness is part of the course,but how dare he leave her not tell us,where he's gone!"

Amy was hopping mad!

Rory left her knocking on the bathroom door as he headed downstairs.

"Clara honey,it's Amy. Can I come in..?"

'John, mate I'd hate to be in your shoes when we get back'

Amy in a temper was not pretty!

Rory thought heading out and round the corner to the flat.

Rory did find him at his flat,because John being John need to find out what had happened to Sue.

It wasn't until he got him back to the house,Rory realised he was at the start of a breakdown.

Amy who had been so mad at him, for leaving Clara,looked at Rory as though to say,

'Please sort this'

Oh if only it had been that simple?

John with his head in his hands going,

"I'm Okay,I'm Okay!"

Trying to make himself believe everything was.

They couldn't persuade him that he should see a Doctor,because that would mean pills and would mean John admitting he needed help..'No way' Clara couldn't even persuaded him when the same thing happened with her in the bedroom,a while later.

It was only when Rory took him to the police station afterwards, and it all came out about what Jack had been up to with the drugs, Sue had got dragged into it! John collapsed with the strain of it all.

Present Day:

Rory thought. This was only the start,things went deeper than that, as he found out in the next month.

There were things John didn't remember or had chosen not to over the last thirty years..

John slipping back into Johnnie,because of what his so called 'Dads' bullying had done,hurting him. Also what he nearly had done,but it hadn't got that far,to everyone's relief.

Yes,Rory thought,John had come a long way,but still had some way to go. Starting back from his memories,picked up his,mobile he needed to let Dr Barclay know some of what had happened to John over the last week since he had last seen him. Rory couldn't put it off any longer,he had to meet John there soon. Perhaps they would get to why he had this phobia with food and the voice in his head? Maybe today?

A/N 

Rory talks to Dr Barclay,then takes

John to see him.

He tells John about his conversation with Will.

Will Daisy be alright or have another nightmare.

Chapter 73 soon.


	73. Chapter 73

Return to Love

Chapter 73

Rory waited while the number for Dr Barclay rang once,twice then was picked up on the third ring by a crisp..

"Hello,Rory Williams,you haven't called to rearrange or cancel have you? John is okay isn't he?" The Doctor answering a question with another question...

Rory smiled. He had never met such a confusing,exceptional man, but one that knew what he was doing. He was the only one he trusted to help with John.

"Hello Doctor,no John's is okay.

There is a couple of things I needed to discuss with you before I bring him to see you this afternoon"

"Oh, anything to worry about?" The Doctor said back to him.

"Not sure. John is coping since his relapse last week" Rory said.

"But" said the Doctor. "Has something happened?"

"Sort of. John..is alright,though,it's as if he's a different man sometimes but I'm worried that he might..."

Rory knew he wasn't explaining himself very well to the Doctor.

"Flip back to the way he's been behaving in the last month?" The Doctor finished for him.

"Exactly, I'm coming with John today,but maybe you want to talk to him on his own? Sorry,not trying to tell you how to do your job..or how it works..You know better than me.."

'Oh,God,I sound like John,I'm rambling..' Rory thought.

"Rory,it's fine! Look,I wouldn't have got this far with John without your help. We both want the same thing to get him well,right?"

"Yes,of course"

"Then,do you want to tell me what's happened to him in the last few days?" The Doctor finished.

Rory telling him about the hotel last week,the trunks and finishing with Daisy being very nearly taken away yesterday. By her real father's wife.

"Well,"

Dr Barclay said. "It seems as though John is coping because these things are happening and he hasn't had time to think about his own problems, yes?"

"I think so. I was the one having kittens yesterday,when Daisy was nearly kidnapped. Thinking John would blame me,but he never did"

"He trusts you, Rory"

Rory sighed.

" What if I don't sort this? If Clara's ex does get access to her? Or worst still, if he does,get custody of Daisy.. John and Clara would never forgive me..I will never forgive myself!"

"Rory,Rory,look that is the future,right? And from only knowing you a few weeks,I'm sure you will not let that happen?"

The Doctor thought that Rory was getting upset.

Which in the circumstances he could understand. He seemed to carry everyone else's problems on his shoulders,especially John's.

"No..No I won't let that happen" Rory said confidently.

"In fact,I think from evidence of what happened yesterday,they won't even get access!"

"That's the spirit! Now the other problem John has,the one with food.I take it is still the same?"

" I haven't seen John since Saturday,but Clara and Auntie have been keeping an eye on him. Auntie tells me he is eating,but not as he should.

She describes it like trying to persuade a three year old to eat"

" You say John was like this last month, when he stayed with you and your wife?"

"Yes" Rory said."it was as though he was,frightened of eating ,of being sick.

There was the voice in his head,telling him..he wouldn't be if he didn't eat. That came back again,after his relapse last week,though he told me it went away again,after I threatened to go home,and leave him to it"

"Hmm..." Dr Barclay said." You threatened to leave him?" He sounded puzzled by this statement.

Rory explained then how John had been when he had dashed back last week.

How upset he had been until the next day.

"It was before I had spoken to you,Doctor and John did seem better the next day for a time. When I got back, he was asleep. I know he had told Auntie he could hear the voice,but he was ignoring it."

Rory paused then.

"John started to throw up,I put it down to the change in his medication,the extra pill? I could handle that,but when he started to say it was my fault and the voice said he shouldn't eat or take his pills. I'm afraid I just flipped. I felt so guilty for yelling at him"

Rory describing how tipping him out of the bed, telling John he was leaving him and his voice to it. That it was obvious he didn't want to listen to him,only this phantom in his head!

The Doctor cleared his throat,he was amused by the picture that Rory was painting for him in his head!

"So" he said "You didn't leave him,but the voice,do you think he can still hear it Rory?"

"I'm not sure,but like you said,Doctor John is keeping himself busy,so doesn't have time to think about his own problems. When the police came to the hotel the other day,he just took charge"

"I think for today,and all things considered" Dr Barclay said,

" I'd better, talk to John,with you Rory. If you are both agreeable? We will discuss it with him when you get here later"

"Right" Rory replied. "Under hypnosis?"

"Maybe not this time,a lot of my job is talking things out. We shall have to see how John is,when you get here. I shall see you both in three hours yes? Bye for now, Rory Williams"

Dr Barclay hung up. It was now gone twelve,Rory knew he would have to leave about one to meet John from the train.

He got up yawned,stretching. Perhaps a coffee before he left? Sit in the garden,think his own thoughts for half an hour, before he tackled John's.

Rory had just sat on one of the garden chairs,put the cup on the table,and that was when his mobile rang.

John's number flashed on to the screen. Rory sighed. 'So much for me time' he thought,answering it with a cheerful,

"Hello,mate,how are you?"

Then he yawned,it was out before he could stop it.

"Sorry.." Hand on his mouth.

"I'm fine" John sounded puzzled. "Rory,are you okay? You sound knackered. I bet you look like shit,as well. Take it Pond gave you a good seeing too? I hope?" He said wickedly.

"Ha,bloody Ha,John,in fact I spent the night in another bed with my new girlfriend"

"Eh,What girlfriend?"

John knew he was kidding him,but couldn't quite work out the joke. Yet.

"Daisy had a nightmare"

"What! is she okay? Oh I could kill that 'bloody' Will"

"John,calm down in fact she's fine this morning.

Amy's taken her and Tom shopping,then to the park,while we're out"

Rory didn't tell him that Daisy was either choosing not to remember or she didn't. She might have more tonight,he hoped not but Amy and him would cross that bridge if they had too,later. He wanted to keep John calm before his appointment with Dr Barclay.

"How's Clara this morning? I'm surprised it's not both of you ringing me"

Rory said then.

"Fine,she's on reception duty at the moment"

"I thought you had stopped her doing that since She got pregnant,and with what happened the other day?"

"You know how strong minded she is,but I said she could help Molly with the bookings if she's sensible. I put my foot down about anything else"

"Did she stamp on it?" Rory said then laughing.

"When you've finished with the 'funnys'. I wanted to let you know I will be on the one thirty train unless I drive up?"

"No John,you know what we agreed and why" Rory said sternly.

"He might not use hypnosis on me,today" John said sulking.

" Whether Dr Barclay does or doesn't John I'd still like you to come on the train,I will meet you at the station at half two"

"Oh..alright" John said.

"And,John.."

"What?"

"Stop sulking"

"Am not! Bye" Rory heard as he hung up with a grin.

Looking over to his now cold cup of coffee,Rory though about making another,looking at his watch,quarter to one.

'Don't think I will have time to drink it' he thought

Brightening up. 'Maybe at Dr Barclay's? Least he made a good cup of coffee' he headed into the house to get ready to leave to pick up John.

Tadchester,the same time.

John went downstairs to the reception area. Clara was talking to a guest who was signing the visitors book before heading towards the lift. John smiled hello to the man as he passed him. Going over to the desk said to his fiancee.

" I'm leaving now sweetheart,Rory is meeting me in London at half two,I'm under orders not to drive!"

"That's what you agreed with him,John"

Clara smiled at him,knowing him as she did by now that he had tried to argue with Rory over this.

Noticing she was stood up.

" Why are you on your feet,Clara? You promised me if I let.." he started to say,irritable.

Clara's face fell,at his sharp words.

"John! I only stood up this minute,I can't stay sitting all the time!"

"I'm only letting you work on reception, if you do as your told!"

That was the wrong thing for him to say.

"You are only letting me?!"

Clara said, remaining where she was behind the desk,looking over at him. Hands on her hips.

"Don't you talk to me like that,John Smith!

Treating me like I'm five years,old!"

"Well! If You are acting like it! Why can't you do as your told..for once!?" John was yelling at her.

Clara,was fuming about being talked to like that. Especially in front of Molly.

She was at the other end of the desk near the computer,and was about to come over,when Clara came out from behind the desk went towards John, stood in front of him. Suddenly she slapped his face!

Clara breathing hard,said.

"At the moment,I'm not sure if I want to talk to you,let alone marry you!"

Turning on her heel,headed towards the small lounge,sitting in one of the armchairs to get her breathing under control and the tears that were not far away.

Mary,came out of her office just in time to witness the slap,to her son's face and Clara's last words to him,before she'd stormed off.

John stood in the middle of reception with his hand to his face.

"John,what on earth is going on!?"

Mary went towards him. He looked at her.

".. It's my fault,Mum,I should..Clara..I should go apologise to her"

"John, go into the office"

She said stopping him as he went to go towards the little lounge where Clara was sat.

"..But.."

"Now please. Do as you're told. Don't argue with me,John"

Saying sternly to him,then touching his face softened her tone.

"I will talk to Clara,go on wait for me in the office"

John bit his lip,but did as she said.

He went into the office,shutting the door behind him.

Mary sighed,and walked across to the little lounge where Clara was sat.

She looked up with a tear stained face.

Turning her engagement ring round and round on her finger.

"..Mum,I'm sorry about that,it wasn't very professional was it? If there had been a guest at the desk..?"

"Never mind that, What happened,sweetheart?"

Mary said to her.

"John was telling me off.. off,for standing, when I should have been s-sitting down.I know he is worried about me,b-but"

Clara was getting upset again ...

"I'm ssorry,Mum it was the way he was talking to me,as though I was five years old.I just saw red"

Putting her hand to her face. Remembering.

"Oh God! I didn't mean to slap him!"

Mary sat on the arm of the chair,pulling Clara to her,arms around her.

"It was the heat of the moment,I think maybe this visit to Dr Barclay as upset him, more than we thought. John knows he needs to go. He copes,with everyday things,but seems to get upset when the past is talked about,right?"

"I know,Mum,but I shouldn't have slapped him!" She looked up at Mary,more tears falling.

"Perhaps someone is trying to tell us, we're not right for each other? The way things are,this wedding is not going to happen!

"Now that's just silly Clara,you and John are made for each other. Things will get better soon. Look why don't you come with me to the office,talk to him? I expect he's calmed down by now and is sorry for the way he spoke to you"

Mary wiping Clara's eyes, handed her the hankie,so she could blow her nose.

"Okay,I'll talk to him" she said then. Getting up to go with Mary to the office.

"Will you be alright for a while,Molly?" Mary asked.

"It's fine Mrs Drew"

The dark haired girl smiled back as they both went by.

"It will be quiet for a few hours,now"

The office door closed behind them.

Molly didn't know what had got into John and Clara. Maybe it was the upset of the other day?

Clara's pregnancy. John also had the hotel problems on his shoulders,especially with what happened with the trunks,which she didn't think was resolved yet.

There was also the wedding. No wonder they were both uptight and upset! Molly smiled,she was sure whatever problems there were, Mrs Drew would sort it all out!

John was stood by the window. He had been thinking about what had happened before.

He didn't mean to have a go at Clara. The comment was out before he could stop it. She was sensible enough after the scare of last week to know not to push herself. In fact,she had only stood up to talk to him. John knew he couldn't wrap her in cotton wool for the next six months!

He turned round,as his Mum came into the room,followed by Clara. Eyes red,hankie in her hand.

'I don't deserve her,I really don't' he thought.'and I keep upsetting her' Taking a deep breath,

"...Clara,I know you keep hearing it from me,but I really am this time,sorry"

When Clara kept looking at him.

"..Clara,say something,I love you,please!" John continued. Putting his hand out to her.

'I'm going to lose her,and its no more than I deserve' he thought.

"Please,you can slap,me again! Anything,but don't keep looking at me like that!"

At the mention of the word 'slap' Clara seemed to come to life. Her face crumpled,she started sobbing and then ran into John's arms.

John,his arms round her,was kissing her face.

Clara was sobbing still.

"I'm s-orry,I didn't m-ean to s-lap you J-John.."

John with arms still round her. Wiping her tears,away.

"..No,I deserved it, you can slap me anytime you like. If you think I need it! In fact,I was the one acting like a five year old not you,sweetheart"

John had his head on top of Clara's,just enjoying holding her.

.." in fact Rory would be the first to tell you that.. he would say to me I was. Oh bloody hell..!"

Clara pulling away from him slightly,looking at his face.

"John? What is it?"

Looking at his watch,

"It's twenty past one,I'm not going to make it to the station for the train. He is going to kill me!"

Letting go of Clara,John rubbing at his face,pacing up and down.

"There's nothing for it,I'm going have to drive now,Rory will think I've done it on purpose,when he told me not to.."

Mary who had been stood near the door,while John and Clara had been making up,came over to her son. Stopping him in his pacing.

"John,you are not driving while you are in a state,I will drive you"

When he protested.

It's alright,sweetheart,I have to up to London later to pick up Simon.I will just go a couple of hours earlier.I'll just go and ring him now tell him I will be there sooner,I will see you out the front,ten minutes,John?"

"Yes,Mum" John replied,as his Mum went out of the office.

Looking over at Clara sheepish,

"I forgot that Mum had arranged to pick Simon up later.I wouldn't have been able to use the car"

Because Simon would be helping John over the next two weeks at the hotel, before he started at Master's. He had decided to go home to his bedsit, Sunday evening on the last train,to pick up somethings. Mary had arranged to pick him up at five.

John holding Clara's hand again,kissed her again,

touched her face,again.

"I am sorry,Clara,I keep saying it. Its just that.."

"John,I know you worry about me with what happened last week,but I am being as careful as I can be"

Putting her hands up on his face then.

"With the best will in the world,you can't wrap me in cotton wool for the next six months!"

Clara echoing Johns thoughts from earlier.

"I know,but I worry,I can't help it,I will try to think before I open my mouth. Love you,sweetheart. I'd better"

John pointed to the door.

"Mum will be waiting,Clara I love you so much"

" Love you to,please John try and keep calm,talk to Dr Barclay,okay?"

John nodded,heading for the door.

"See you later"

After John had gone,Clara walked into reception.

Molly looked up at her and smiled.

"Everything alright now?" She said to Clara.

.."Yes, Molly,I'm sorry about before,we shouldn't.."

"Clara,your not the first couple to have a ding dong of a row"

"I know,but it was a good job there were no guests here"

"If there had have been. I don't think you would have had it ,don't worry about it. It won't be the first or the last row you'll have,I row with my boyfriend all the time,but think of all the great making up!"

Clara smiled at that was glad it was Molly who had been on duty,not Kate.

Much as she liked her,it would have been all over the town by now. That they had split up,and weren't even married yet!

"Do you need me for anything,Molly? Only I think I'll go for a nap in the office"

"Are you sure your okay Clara?"

"Just tired,I'll make some tea then get settled"

"I'll make it. I was as going to make myself one about now"

When Clara protested.

"You go and get settled"

Molly made them both a tea,then got Clara,to lie down on the sofa as her eyes were closing. She was asleep before Molly got to the door.

'Yes' she thought 'There was nothing like a good row'

Meanwhile

John sat in the front passenger seat of the car,as his Mum drove them towards London.

She glanced across at her son.

"John,are you okay?"

John nodded at her,he was very quiet. She hoped he wasn't closing in on himself with what happened earlier with Clara.

"You will talk to Dr Barclay,won't you?"

John's head turned round quickly.

"I said I would didn't I!?" He snapped.

Then. Closing his eyes opening them again said to her.

"I'm sorry, doing it again,taking things out on other people"

Mary didn't comment.

"Mum,I am doing the right thing,not telling Clara what happened with Daisy yesterday?"

John had told her what had gone on when she was out with Rory and Amy. So far only the four of them knew..

'So that's it' She thought.

"John,I think it is the right decision. She would want to rush up to see her. You have to think of her blood pressure. Though saying that,you will not help telling her off for no reason at all"

John opened his mouth to say something.

"..Now,I'm not getting at you sweetheart"

Mary said stopping him.

"But if you can think about it before you do say anything?' I know Clara as had a couple of scares in the last week's,but for the most she is a very sensible girl,right?"

John said then,

"Yes,I agree. I told Clara that I would try to think before I open my mouth in future,it's just I don't like keeping things from her"

Mary pulling on to the station car park then said to him.

"John,sometimes a secret as to be kept because the person in question as problems"

John knew she meant the other week when it came out she was his Mum. How mad he was when he found out the other three knew but not him,but in the end he realised they only did it for his own good. John hoped Clara would see it that way,he was going to tell her on Friday,when they got to Rory and Amy's.

"Yes,I know its not the time now,I will tell her soon. Isn't that Rory's car?" Nodding out of the window.

Mary looked over then,

"Yes,I think it is"

There was no sign of Rory.

"He must be looking for me on the station platform,it's gone half two" John said.

Getting out of the car.

John was stood in front of the drivers door,talking to his Mum,he didn't see Rory come back out of the station entrance. He came over to the car.

"What did I say to you less than two hours ago,John!" Rory was absolutely fuming

"..You never bloody listen to me do you? I told you not to drive!"

"Rory,I..didn't"

John started to say,turning round at the sound of his friends voice.

"You have to go your own way,never mind anyone else!"

"Do you know what? your the one that's not listening Rory. Screw you! I'm going! And it's not to see Dr Barclay!"

John in a temper,moving quickly away from the car,that was when Rory spotted his Aunt in the driving seat,who said.

"Rory,dear,I drove him here,he missed his train"

"Auntie? What?"

He looked over in surprise,from her to John who had sat down on a bench at the other end of the car park. Arms folded,a murderous look on his face.

Rory rubbed his hand over his face. God he was tired,and he'd put his foot in it again with John!

When the train came in from Tadchester,and John wasn't on it he had to admit he was worried.

Making his way back out to the car park,he was furious when he saw John stood with his back to him near Auntie's car.

He really thought John had defied him,and drove here. It wasn't so much that he didn't want John to drive,it was if Dr Barclay did hynotise him,what to do with John's car!

"Auntie" he said again," as something happened?"

John who was still sat on the bench,his Mum noticed him watching then looking away as though he wasn't interested in their conversation.

" Nothing too serious,but he hasn't had a very good start to his day"

Telling Rory about his fight with Clara and how she had slapped him.

" I thought he was just worked up about this appointment with Dr Barclay" she said then,

" but I think it's mostly Daisy,and not telling Clara about what happened yesterday" telling him some of what John had said on the journey from Tadchester, to London.

"Did he tell you she had a nightmare last night?"

Rory said then to her

Auntie,looked startled at him.

"Is she alright? Poor baby"

Rory saying then that she was but how he had to spend nearly the whole night in bed with her because she was really terrified,but seemed okay this morning.

"Tell Clara Amy as taken her shopping with Tom,then lunch and to the park if she as been trying to phone her"

"Right " Auntie said then,"and I'd better go and get Simon,he will think I've forgotten him"

"Simon?" Rory said.

"He's at his bedsit. He needed things for the next two weeks while he's helping John. I've promised him a late lunch before we head back,but what about.."

Looking at her Son,still sulking over the other side of the car park.

"Do you think you will be able to sort him out?"

"Yes,well.."

Rory said then. Straightening up from where he had been talking to Auntie,through the car window.

.."I'd Better go make my peace with him,he's right I wasn't listening"

"Are you sure sweetheart?"

Mary thought Rory looked tired, having to cope with Daisy's problems as well as John's.

"Yeah,go on it will be fine.I will ring you later,let you know how we got on,bye Auntie"

Mary pulled out of the car park,as Rory looking over at John,thought

'That's if I can get him to go. Prepare to grovel,Rory!'

Squaring his shoulders,walked over to John.

It was quarter to three. He sat on the end of the bench. John knew he was there,he was sure,but was sat with his eyes closed.

"..Look,John,I over reacted.."

.." Oh really!" John said with his eyes still closed.

'Your not going to make this easy,are you mate?' Rory thought.

"I'm sorry,John,I know you wouldn't have drove here after I told you not to..I didn't give you the chance to explain?"

John opened his eyes then looked over at his friend. He thought.

'God he looks tired'

"Rory?"

"Hmm..What?"

"You look like..shit!"

Then John grinned at him.

He couldn't stay mad at his friend for long.

They had been through so much together,especially in the last few weeks.

Rory grinned back.

"So.." he said. "What's it to be,Dr Barclay's or home?"

"How about the pub instead?" Was the reply.

Rory looked at him.

" You are joking,right?"

Rory had been had to many times in the last week's.

John sighed..

"...Course I am,besides how can I,Pills remember?"

John who had been sat with his hands on his knees,looked back over at his friend then.

"Rory,Daisy is alright isn't she?"

Rory,bit his lip,Auntie was right,John was worried about this.

"John,mate,I spent between 2 and 5 this morning in a bed, with an upset seven year old,because she was terrified I'd left her. This morning it seemed as though she forgotten all about it. Now I'm not saying the same thing could happen tonight,maybe,maybe not,but Amy and I will sort it,if we have to right?"

"I'm sorry," John said to him then.

"You seem to be getting landed with more of my problems.I should be sorting this not you,Daisy is my daughter!"

"John,I keep telling you,it's okay.

I don't mind, family right?"

He patted John's hand.

"We will sort it together. Look John I've got something to tell you about Will,it's nothing to worry about,"

he said when he saw John's face.

I did what you asked,I'll tell you all the details later. Look we'll have to go,it's gone three" Looking at his watch.

Rory got up from the bench. John following him to his car.

It was nearly quarter past three by the time they both got to the hospital,and walked down the corridor to Dr Barclay's office.

Going into the outer office,his receptionist Carol looked up as they both came in.

"I'm sorry we're late" Rory said to her.

Smiling,she said.

" Don't worry,the Doctor still has someone in with him at the moment. Can I get you both a coffee?"

"Please,John,do you want one?" Rory asked him.

" Yes please" John smiled at Carol.

They both sat down to wait.

Suddenly the inner office door opened,and the Doctor appeared talking to someone behind him.

"Now I want to see you same time next week. Don't forget to practice your breathing exercises"

John noticed Rory standing up quickly as a woman followed the Doctor out of his office,going toward the reception desk. He had gone white.

"..Rory,mate,what's wrong? Rory?"

John getting up behind his friend,touched his shoulder.

Rory didn't answer him,at first then.

"Marie" he said quietly. "It's Marie"

John not catching on. Stared at the woman then back to Rory.

"Who?"

Rory opened his mouth to answer John.

Marie turned round looking at the two men. Not knowing John but the other man she recognised.

" What are you doing here? Are you following me?"

She looked back to Dr Barclay.

"I told you I was being followed!"

She pointed over at Rory.

"He told me he was a solicitor. He's a private detective. That's how it starts,they follow you,trying to get you to join them. Even young children,he was trying to recruit two yesterday"

"Hang on" John said to Rory. "Will's wife?"

Pausing then,realisation dawning.

"The one who tried to grab Daisy yesterday?"

Rory started to say.

"Yes,but John,don't say anything,there is..."

John with a face like thunder made to go over to Marie. Rory stood in front of his friend.

"Something's wrong here,I'm as surprised to see her as you are"

John tried to pull away,Rory held onto him,

"Stop it,John! I don't know what's happening anymore than you do,but something is very wrong" he repeated.

Dr Barclay had a dilemma,he had just come out of a session with his last patient,and was about to see John Smith his next one.

From their reaction,to each other,especially Rory's he knew these cases had something to do with each other. Though he couldn't quite work out what yet,but he had an idea.

"Carol,could you take these two gentlemen into my office,please? I will be there in a moment. Now come along Marie,I'll walk you to out to your taxi,I thought we had established there was no one out to follow you.."

Dr Barclay's voice faded as he left the room with Marie.

Carol said to them both,

"Do you want to wait in his office I'll bring the coffee's in?

"Right,thanks" Rory said walking to the office door,John following him.

John sat down on one of the chairs and looked over at Rory who was still stood near the door.

"Well" he said "I thought I had some problems,but there not as bad as that,are they?"

"Of course not!" Rory said back to him.

Not even sure,still what had happened in the last ten minutes in the other room. He walked over,sat down next to John on the other chair.

"She wasn't like that when I met her at the hotel with Amy not at first, there was something when she had Daisy in the office afterwards"

Rory pausing hand pulling at his fringe,trying to puzzle things out.

"John I spoke to Will,told him you wanted to see him with Clara next week.

He wasn't very happy when I told him you had suggested it not her"

Telling John then the conversation he had with Clara's ex earlier.

"I'm sorry if she has got problems,Rory but I don't want her anywhere near Clara and especially not Daisy.

To be blunt..she's nuts!"

"John!" Rory exclaimed to his friend.

" I'm sorry,I know,I've got some problems,but I don't think I would 'hurt' anyone,especially a child"

John thinking of the things Marie was saying before Dr Barclay took her out of the room.

"I'm not sticking up for her John" Rory said then, "but there as to be some reason she is here seeing Dr Barclay as you are"

At that moment Carol came into the room with a tray with the coffee on. As she left, the man himself came back in.

.."Oh good Coffee"..

He said sitting himself down in his own chair behind the desk. Reaching over,picking up one of the three cups from the tray. Looking over at John and Rory.

" You two not having coffee?"

Rory picked up one of the cups sipped at it then put it down on the table,saying.

"Doctor,what the hell is going on?"

His head was going,round trying to work everything out.

The Doctor looked between the two men,hoping that by telling them some of Marie's problems,They could fill in the gaps? Because somehow her case tied into John's,maybe?

A/N

So things are happening concerning

Will and his wife,Marie.

Next chapter,the Doctor,Rory and John

Compare notes.

John tries to remember his childhood.

Also,how will Daisy be?

Will John be able to keep it from Clara about her nightmares.

Chapter 74 up soon.

Please read and review.


	74. Chapter 74

Return to Love

Chapter 74

Dr Barclay sat at his desk,looking over at the two men.

'Where to start' he thought.

"I take it you both know,Marie?" He said slowly.

"Rory has met her. I only know that she is married to Clara's ex,Will" John volunteered then.

" She's the one I was,telling you about"

Rory said,with a look to John.

.."Who tried to take Daisy Yesterday"

"You are absolutely certain about that?"

Dr Barclay said.

"Of course I am! "Rory replied indignantly.

"I wasn't sure at first I have to admit. I have photographic evidence of a hand shaped bruise at the top of Daisy's arm. I'm sorry Doctor that she as..problems,but if this gets to court,I have to think of Daisy"

"Of course,I think you should do that" he replied.

"Could she harm anyone?"

John asked then,he had been sat listening to the conversation between the other two men.

"John,I can't tell you anything about Marie's ..problems,because of confidentiality" He paused then,

" Though I would be willing to say,if it got to court and I was called to give a statement as to whether she should or shouldn't be around your daughter.."

He left that statement open,leaving them to draw their own conclusions from it.

John and Rory looked at one another. understanding this,as both of them had been around enough court room's and cases they had worked, thought that if Marie was a danger,she would be in hospital,right?

Dr Barclay had given them the licence to do this without disclosing anything for the moment.

Under oath,would be another matter.

"I suppose,that would be alright, for now" Rory said.

"It would be like discussing John's with an outsider without his permission,right?"

"Exactly," Dr Barclay said.

"Now I think we should get back on track of "discussing your problems John,after all that's what we're here for today"

John pulling a face,saying..

"Must we..?"

"John!" Rory said warningly. "Behave,you promised"

" Alright,I'll be good"

John grinned at the Doctor." I suppose you want me on the sofa?" Nodding to it.

"I'm not intending to hynotise you today John,but you can lie down if you want. Whatever your comfortable with"

John shrugged, getting up and going over to the sofa. He lay down. Dr Barclay sat on the chair next to it,pad and pen in his lap.

"Now,John,I'm going to ask you some questions.. I also want to involve Rory in this session,is that alright with you?"

"..I can sit in the waiting room if you would rather I didn't.." Rory started to say.

"No..!" John sat half up on the sofa.

"I want you here. You said you would be!"

There was panic in John's eyes.

Rory with a brief look at Dr Barclay said.

"Alright,John if that's what you want,I'll stay. Lie back down then"

When John didn't. Giving Rory a look that said 'yeah..right!'

"I'm hardly going to sneak out when your not looking,am I? Dr Barclay's told you he wants me involved in this..You'll hear me okay. Lie down John ?!"

With a last look at his friend,John lay back down and closed his eyes.

"..And don't go to sleep, because your on that thing doesn't mean you can have a crafty nap"

John opening his eyes again.

"Oi. Just make sure I tell the truth..less of the sarcastic remarks,Williams!"

John said then. He closed his eyes again.

"Do you think I can start now?" Dr Barclay said.

"Kay " John said. "Rory does tend to go on"

Rory shook his head at John,and mouthed. 'Sorry' to the Doctor.

The Doctor grinned back at Rory. Maybe it was a good idea to involve him in this,as John seemed to still be having panic attacks. It should keep him calm.

Rory seemed to keep him grounded. Besides he enjoyed the banter between them. It made up for a dull day!

"Right,let's crack on,John"

Taking up his pen..

"We discussed your childhood,last time under hypnosis. Do you remember any of it?"

John with his eyes still closed,nodded and said.

"..Most of it,but there is.."

His face screwed up in concentration,as he was trying to remember something.

"Alright,how about we recall what you do know from the last time,and it could unlock more maybe?"

Dr Barclay said.

"Okay"

John still had his eyes closed,Rory thought perhaps it was easier for him this way.

"I see my..Dad..smacking me..my Mum..crying because he.." John paused then. Opening his eyes said..

"...Locked door!?"

He looked over at Rory then who said to him.

"Maybe he locked the front door after he brought you home from the park? Do you remember being there with Amy and me?"

John screwing his face up again.

"No..No,I mean yes the park, I can see the three of us,but.. no that's not the right door,it was another door. Why can't I remember!"

John sat up,getting upset,frustrated.

"Okay John,calmly now,breathe"

Dr Barclay touching him on the shoulder because John was getting breathless,the start of a panic attack. Rory came over then.

"..John come on mate,lie back..deep breathes like the Doctor said. In..out.."

Panic still in his eyes,but he did as Rory said. He held his hand in a tight grip. Wasn't sure what was happening,only he couldn't breath and that Rory was the only familiar thing to focus on.

"In..out..that's it..well done John"

Whether it was the breathing,but his heart stopped racing at ninety miles an hour. John started to calm down.

" ..Better?" Rory said to him.

John swallowed.

"Yes, I think so. I'm sorry"

" .. Hey,no problem,look stay there for a few minutes,I'll get you a drink,okay?"

John nodded at Rory as he moved away with the Doctor to the other side of the room. He knew they were talking about him,but at the moment he didn't care.

Rory looked to the Doctor as he said.

"These panic attacks,how many as he had?"

"That was the fourth I think,"

Rory paused thinking back.

"Two with me,and I think he had one with Clara as well"

The Doctor said

"It might be because I was pushing him to remember,but in the long run it could be worst if what ever he is suppressing doesn't come to the surface"

"So,what's next?"

"That's up to John,I can't force him to go any further today if he doesn't want to"

He poured some water in a glass from a jug. Handing it to Rory.

"Here,take him this"

Rory nodded ,taking the glass over to John. He was still lay with his eyes closed.

"John?"

John opened his eyes and sat up. He took the glass of water from him.

"Thanks"

John's colour was starting to come back,when he was having the panic attack,he had gone white.

He took a couple of sips then said.

"Rory.. Will you ask Dr Barclay if he'll hypnotise me?"

"What,now?"

Rory said, never expecting his friend to ask that. After the last panic attack,he thought John would want to go home.

"John are you sure?"

"Yes,I can't go thorough that again,I need to know about that 'locked door' Please.."

He said as the Doctor came over hearing the end of their conversation. John looked up at him.

"When I go home tonight,I might start dreaming again,if that happens I can't go to bed. I won't! I'd rather not sleep as have the bad dreams!"

John was getting worked up again.

"Alright John,I need you to be calm"

The Doctor said. Rory looked from John to the Doctor.

If John threatened not to go to bed,not to sleep,he meant it.

They were all in for a bad time,especially Clara,which she didn't need.

"..You will do it then?" John asked Dr Barclay.

"Only if you do as I ask you to. I need to check you out first" he answered.

"..What,I'm fine!"

The Doctor shook his head.

"I don't think so,you had a full blown panic attack, I need you calm before I put you under. Lie back please"

John looking from him to Rory who was stood next to John arms folded daring him to argue.

"Oh,alright!"

John lay back down on the sofa.

Doctor Barclay took John's pulse,Rory looked on. Even though he was a head Doctor,he would have other medical training.

"That's fine,right John eyes closed,I want you to relax for ten minutes.

Think some happy thoughts"

"Is this 'Alice in bloody Wonderland?" John said getting irritable.

.."John!" Rory warned.

"Oh, - -!"

John,saying something rude under his breath,but he closed his eyes doing as he was told.

Rory and the Doctor moved over to the other side of the room again.

"I'll check again in ten minutes,but his pulse is racing" The Doctor said to him.

"Will he be alright for you to put him under if it is?" Rory asked anxious.

"If he does as he's told,it should go back to normal"

They both looked over at John,still with his eyes closed.

"Rory,I will give you something for him, in case he won't go to sleep later" Dr Barclay said quietly.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Yes,only if John plays up,won't go to bed.

He needs to sleep. We shall have to see how he is..after. You may have to be sneaky to get him to take it"

Rory knew then the Doctor meant for him to give it to John behind his back. He hated to do it,but John needed to sleep,or he would get sick!

"Right" the Doctor looked at his watch.

"I'll go check his pulse if it's normal,I will put him under. Rory,if I do I might need your help again,like last time?"

Rory nodded as they both went back over to John.

The Doctor touched his arm.

"John let me check again?" Taking his wrist as John opened his eyes,but didn't comment.

"Well it seems better so okay John,I will put you under. Eyes closed again take some calming breathes while I get my trick coin?"

He patted John's hand,as he went over to his desk,taking the coin out of the drawer.

Rory noticed John though he had his eyes closed, pull his face slightly at the mention of the breathing exercises.

"John,the calmer you are,the easier it will be"

'I hope' he thought.

John started breathing..in..out..

"Alright,John"

Dr Barclay came back and sat on the chair next to the sofa.

"You know how this,works. Focus on the coin,count backwards for me.."

John opened his eyes,looked at the coin,he wanted to find out what happened in his childhood. There was a part that didn't. Ignoring that,John starred at the coin and started to count.

"20-19-18-17-16-15-14-1-3-1-2" his voice was slurring.

"That's good John,well done,eyes closed now,"

the Doctor said softly. Looking over at Rory,

"That took slightly longer,but nothing to worry about,it can vary"

John,eyes closed lay peaceful. It was a pity to disturb him,Rory thought but they needed to know.

"Okay," Dr Barclay said. "I'll start with some questions,you know how it works,Rory.."

..Yes,I will be here for him whatever happens"

Rory sat down in the chair next to John.

"John can you hear me?"

Dr Barclay said to him. There was a pause,then.

"..Yes.."

"Good..good. Now John I want you to think back to that day in the park,when you were playing with Rory and Amy. Do you remember it?"

"Yes..like the park,Rory pushed me off the swing though"

John pulled a face, was talking in his three year old voice,even though the Doctor hadn't suggested his..age.

"Oh,I expect he,didn't mean it"

With a look over to Rory,who had gone slightly red,but he smiled at the memory, because it had happened,he had forgotten!

"It's okay. Amy thumped him. She pushed him off"

This time it was Dr Barclay who smiled,then said.

"Now,John I..want you to see if you can remember what happened after" He paused.

"When Daddy came to take you home"

The Doctor looked over at Rory as he said this.

John's face changed to a fearful look.

"I'm..sorry ..D-daddy,didn't mean to b-be n-naughty"

The tears were coming now.

"Mummy,want Mummy ! DADDY. PLEASE DON'T PUT ME IN THERE! I'll be a good boy,I promise.

PLEASE,PLEASE!"

John eyes wide,was getting hysterical,trying to get off the sofa,away from them.

"John,John,come on ..it's alright,no one is going to hurt you,hush now.."

Dr Barclay was trying to calm him down.

Rory holding on to his friend..

"John. Johnnie,it's okay I will look after you I promised..Rory,right?"

John with a look in his eyes to Rory,shaking his head slowly said..Tearful.

"Don't let him-m put me in there,p-lease.I don't like it! There's s-spiders"

John was starting to get breathless..Then he went limp in Rory's arms.

" Woe,John!"

Rory easing him back on to the sofa with the Doctors help.

"It's alright,it's just a faint"

The latter said,taking John's pulse.

"It's a little fast,but nothing to worry about"

Rory straightening up from John,

"What the 'HELL' did he do to him,did he lock him in somewhere? Doctor,he's bloody terrified!"

"I know"

Rory sat back down in his chair pulling at his fringe. Looking at the Doctor.

"What now will he be okay?..Do we go on with this?"

"It's only a simple faint,we'll have to see how he is,then decide"

The Doctor paused looking at..John.

"Rory,he needs to admit this,no matter how hard or hurtful it gets. It will haunt him other wise"

Rory rubbing his face,walking up and down.

"I know,I know"

Telling the Doctor about what happened the other day about him hearing the voice and how he had threatened in a,roundabout way to take all his pills.

.."I see,and do you think he was serious,Rory?"

"I-I don't know" With a look over to his friend.

"..It's like sometimes,he's two people,and much as I want to help him,I can't be there all the time,Doctor!"

He said in anguish.

The Doctor patted his hand,

"We will sort this,but I might have to push him hard to remember. You do understand that Rory?"

"..Yes.."

"Right,I will go and make some coffee"

He got up to go into the outer office.

When Rory looked startled at that,

"You will cope" Smiling at Rory,

"You have up to now,there is water if he wants a drink,"

Going to the door.

"Call out if you have a problem"

Rory nodded as he went out the door.

He checked John,who looked like he was sleeping. His breathing regular.

Rory sat back thinking.. with a smile. Yes he had pushed John from the swing,because it was the one next to Amy's.

He hadn't liked John then,thought he was trying to take Amy's friendship away from him.

Amy thumping him,telling him in no uncertain words that she thought about his behaviour. He had also sulked for an hour at the telling off.

Funny how things turn out,the three of them best friends together now. He would do anything for his friend.

Rory had told John the other day,when he thought Daisy had a crush on Simon that he knew he loved Amy at seven.

He wouldn't have had admitted,it was more like when they were three, nearly four.

There was a soft groan from the sofa,John's eyes flickered open. Rory moved his chair nearer to him. John looked round in confusion..

"..Mummy?"

So they still had a three year old John. Was that good or bad? Rory thought.

"It's alright,you'll see her soon when I take you home" Rory patted his hand.

John flinched away..from him,not sure who he was.

His lip trembled.

'That's right I'm a strange grown up,he hasn't seen me before '

"I'm.." He started to say.

John's face had a puzzled look,then cleared.

.."Rory's Daddy.."

John finished. Smiling at him.

"Hello.."

'Blimey' Rory mused.

'I must look more like my Dad than I thought,best I go along with him for now'

"Hello John",he smiled back at him.

The door opened then,and the Doctor came back in with a tray of coffee.

"I found some chocolate biscuits in the cupboard,Carol must have.."

He started to say.

John,his eyes going wide at another stranger in the room. Suddenly he was off the sofa, and underneath it!

"..John.." Rory following him down.

John,hands over his head,tears were starting again. Rory put out a hand to him. With a quick look over..to the Doctor,and then back to John.

"It's alright,John he's a.. friend of mine"

He didn't want to say he was a Doctor until John was calmer. Rory still held his hand to him.

"Please John,it's okay,no-one is going to hurt you. Do you want to come back up here with me?"

"Rory,is he okay?" The Doctor said softly.

John curled up more under the sofa.

"Go,way..No p-please,he will put m-me in there!"

" He thinks your his Dad,we don't want him to pass out on us again"

"So I see"

Doctor Barclay moved over to the other side of the room,out of John's eye line.

Rory was still on his hands and knees,trying to persuade John to come out.

"John..Johnnie" he tried. .." He's gone. You trust me,Rory's Daddy? Why don't you come out? I will take you home soon,you can see Rory"

"..And Amy?.."

"If you like.."

Rory thinking about his fixation with Amy back then,how he must have needed her especially if his Dad was hurting him.

'All I did was resent,shout at him' Is this why all this is coming out now? He wondered.

John crawled out towards him.

"That's it's,good boy!"

Rory said helping him stand,then to sit on the sofa.

"Do you want a drink?"

John nodded.

Rory poured some water into a glass,handed it to him.

'..And for my next trick' Rory thought.

John was sat still on the sofa watching him. He drank some of the water,handed the glass back to Rory.

"Better?" He asked taking the glass from him.

John nodded again.

Putting it down on the table,Rory turned back to John.

Saying over his shoulder to the Doctor,who he had seen sat at his desk as he had settled John.

"Follow my lead,I might be able to get him to trust you..?"

"Okay"

"John..Johnnie" He said sitting down next to him on the sofa. Taking his hand,John let him.

"My friend wants to talk to you,is that alright?"

Dr Barclay moved nearer to them,John moved closer to Rory. He didn't entirely trust this strange man,but there was something familiar about him as well.

"Hey,it's okay,no-one is going to hurt you. I won't let them. Do you trust me,John?" Rory said then.

John looked at the man sat on the sofa next to him.

Rory's Daddy was nice. He was lucky to have a Daddy that didn't shout,smack or even lock him .. No John didn't want to think about that! He was so tired,he yawned.

"Kay" putting his hand in Rory's.

"That's a good boy" Rory had noticed the yawn and John rubbing his eyes,he looked so worn out.

"Tell you what,how about a nap?"

John let Rory lie him down on the sofa,holding on to his hand,didn't want to let go. He felt safe!

"Close your eyes,Johnnie,that's it.

My friend is going to talk to you now"

Rory felt John's hand tighten in his.

"It's okay,I'm not going anywhere..I'll still be here"

Rory putting a hand on John's shoulder.

Dr Barclay moved on to the chair next to the sofa.

Rory was perched on the side of it because John wouldn't let him go.

"John,you will go to sleep. No one is going to hurt you.. It will all be okay. We will come and talk soon. Sleep now,good boy"

The Doctor put his hand lightly on John's forehead..

John's breathing evened out,he was asleep.

His grip loosened on Rory's hand.

Sitting back on his chair next to the sofa,Rory put his head in his hands. Suddenly a cup of coffee was put in front of him.

"I think it's still drinkable,it's wet and warm" Dr Barclay' voice said.

"Thanks" Looking up.

He took it from him,drank half of the cup. Then he started to shake. The cup with the rest of the coffee fell to the floor.

"Rory!"

Dr Barclay put an arm round him,moving him over to his desk to the chair there.

The shaking had stopped,but he felt the room blurring.

'No-no,I can't pass out now' Rory thought 'John needs me'

There was a voice,it seemed to be coming from a long way off,at first.

"..Rory,come on Rory.."

Then a wet cloth on his forehead,it was cold.

"Uhh, get it off,I'm fine!"

He tried to stand up,but a hand pushed him firmly back into the chair.

"Stay there,that's an order Rory"

The Doctor stood in front of him.

"..Sorry,did I pass out?"

"Not quite,but very nearly,I don't think there's room for two on my sofa"

Dr Barclay said then in amusement.

"Here,drink this"

Handing him a glass of water,as Rory looked over at John.

"He's fine,but we are going to have to decide the next step.."

Looking back at him,Rory asked.

"What time is it?"

"Five. If you want to call it a day Rory,I can wake John,you can take him home" he said.

Looking to John then back to Rory.

Rory sipping the water,said to him being honest.

"This is the third time I've nearly passed out"

Telling him about nearly passing out on Clara last week,and with Amy a couple of days ago.

"..I think we should go on with this" he finished.

"I can't force you to go home if you don't want to.I will carry on,but I need you to tell me If you feel ill,right?"

Rory nodded.

"If I take him home now,even back to Amy,would he go to bed..sleep? Doctor I think we need to..know what happened to him,he needs to know as well"

"Like I said,I will carry on with your help,but it's not a quick fix. There is something that John is suppressing and he needs to let it go. I can keep pushing,I will need your help,can you cope with that Rory?"

"I'm okay now" he said.

"I think it was the adrenalin of it all..." Smiling.." I think the coffee helped"

"Yes,well before we go any further,I will make us a sandwich and some drinkable coffee"

"God that's awful!" Taking a sip of his own.

"You will want to ring your family let them know what's happening? Half an hour? Stretch your legs,Rory"

Rory got up though his legs felt wobbly,didn't feel to bad. Perhaps some air would help?

Putting on his jacket,taking his mobile out of the pocket.

Rory went outside to the bench near the reception,where John sat last week when he went missing.

He rang Clara first.

"Hello"

"It's Rory,Clara. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine,but is John?"

"Yes he is. Clara,Dr Barclay decided to hynotise him. There is nothing to worry about,but I think he will need to stay with Amy and me again tonight.I'm sorry,sweetheart I don't think it will be as late as last time,but.."

"Rory,I understand,the Doctor knows what he's doing and John needs this..help" Clara went quiet,then said.

"..We had a big fight earlier"

"Auntie told me,you made up,before he left,right?"

"Yes.."

"Then all's well. Have you spoken to Amy today?"

"About an hour ago,she had just got back from the park with Daisy and Tom"

She laughed.

"..Daisy was telling me about all the pretty things they had bought for her bedroom. Rory you shouldn't be spoiling her like this.."

"I haven't spoken to Amy since this morning,but it's a pleasure.

Amy is enjoying having her with us.

I know she is yours and John's,but I hope you will let us have a share in her and the twins? It helps,especially Amy"

There was a tremor in his voice,which Clara detected,remembering how upset Rory was a few weeks back when it came out about Amy's miscarriage.

"Of course we will. Rory three months ago I had no one,only Daisy.

Now I have John,my Dad and an extended family.. thank you"

Rory swallowing down his emotions,said.

"Clara,Amy and me,we're so glad you came into John's life,and I will do everything in my power to look out for him,get him well"

"I know you will,tell him I love him and to ring me when he can?"

"Of course,I'll try to ring you both later,if not tomorrow,okay?"

"I'll tell Mum. Bye Rory"

"Bye" Rory hung up.

Clara hadn't said anything about Daisy being upset,perhaps she had forgotten the nightmare.

He hoped so. Flipping his phone open again. He rang Amy.

"Hello,stupid face.."

"Amy..I " he said tearful,when he heard her voice.

"Rory,sweetheart are you alright?"

"Yeah ,I'm fine,John is okay,he.." Rory paused then,not being able to lie to her.

"No he's not,not really"

Telling her what had happened in the last few hours. How John had gotten upset over his Dad and more or less begging Doctor Barclay to put him under hypnosis again.

"Amy,it was awful..seeing John like that..so upset..and frightened. His Dad..H-how c-would he d-o that?"

Rory was getting upset now,letting his guard down because it was Amy.

"The only one who looked out for him then was you.I yelled at him,was bloody jealous because you did..I pushed him off a swing!"

"Rory..stop this..stop it now! You are going to be no good to John,if you go to pieces.

If I was there I would so slap you!"

Amy was getting angry with him.

.."But,Amy I should have done more. my Dad..Perhaps if I had told him?"

"And would he have believed you? It would have been like another three year,old tatling. Your Dad told you he didn't see anything,when you asked him. John's Dad was very good at covering up"

Pausing then,

"Sweetheart,if he hadn't been killed,we wouldn't have John now,so I'm glad..glad . .That it wasn't John,can you imagine how our lives would have been without him?"

"This is why I need to sort this..Amy "

Rory rubbing the tears away from his face.

"And you will"

"How's the kids? "

Rory changing the subject,he needed to hear something cheerful.

"Clara told me you bought somethings for Daisy's bedroom?"

"Yes,cushions and things in pink for her dresser,I also got her a beauty makeup set"

".. For a seven year old?" Rory said.

"Rory,it's a toy set. She's in the attic playing beauty salons.

Tom is not impressed,before I came down he had his hair brushed back and she was putting lipstick on him!"

Rory laughed.

"Tom let her?"

"I think he would do anything for Daisy"

'Yes' he thought 'As would two other little boys for another little girl'

Rory shook himself before he went back into his memories.

"Amy,I have to get back in a minute,I'm not sure what time I..we'll be back, don't think it will be as late as last time"

"John as well?"

"Yes,I don't want to put him on the train,on his own,not today.I will drive him home tomorrow. Besides,it will do him good to see Daisy"

"I will see you both soon,sweetheart,give Raggedy Man my love,and Rory..?"

"What?"

''I know you can sort this,bye"

"..Yeah,bye" Hanging up.

'Will,I though' he thought. Best get back,it was over half an hour.

Roy putting the phone in his pocket,headed down the corridor to the Doctors office.

Going in,Dr Barclay was stood making the coffee.

"Ah, there you are, good timing. I've put the sandwiches in my office,go through. I will bring the coffee"

Rory walking into the office taking his jacket off,put it on the back of the chair. John was still sleeping. He went over to him,brushing his fringe out of his eyes.

John muttered something that sounded like 'Pond'

He appeared to be dreaming,Rory hoped it was a pleasant one,he didn't appear to be in any distress,not at the moment.

The Doctor came back in with the coffee on a tray,noticing Rory next to John said.

"He will be fine. John won't wake up until I tell him to. Come on Rory have something to eat"

He thought the young man looked better than nearly an hour ago when he had nearly collapsed on him. Though he still looked slightly peaky. Rory was the same age as his own son,and he had his own troubles, most of John's as well on his shoulders.

Rory went and sat down on his chair.

Dr Barclay placing a couple of sandwiches on a plate handed it to him,put a coffee on the desk.

"Thanks"

Rory stared at the sandwiches,he was hungry,but felt slightly sick as well.

"..Rory..?"

"Hmm,what?" He looked up at the Doctor.

"You really should eat something,it's going to be a long night"

"And do you think we can do this,get John to admit to what happened to him. I thought his Dad didn't do anything to him.

Your sure about that part?"

Rory thinking what had happened in John's last session.

"Yes,but there is more,perhaps what went on before that,"

pausing he looked over to John.

"I don't think it was anything sexual,it may have led to that,if he hadn't have been killed though"

Rory looked over at his friend,maybe John had a lucky escape,but there were still problems,caused by 'that man'

"How are we going to do this?" Turning back to the Doctor.

"Get John to talk without him having a panic attack,what if he passes out again?"

"We are going to have to keep him calm,and I think you might be the key to that,Rory"

"..Me?.."

Rory had bitten into a sandwich,chewed and swallowed. He had decided the sick feeling would pass if he ate something. After all it was seven hours since breakfast,no wonder he'd nearly passed out!

"Yes,as your Dad. We know John was locked in somewhere. He needs to tell,show us the how and the why"

Rory drinking his coffee,put the cup back on the table.

"Do you think he will listen?"

"Rory you proved that when you got John out from under the sofa. In fact,if you weren't a solicitor,I think you would had made a very good Pschologist!"

Drinking the last of his coffee the,Doctor said,getting up and going over to John.

"..Well should we do this then?"

Rory joined him.

"I will wake him,now Rory. I will suggest to him that he is at home with his..Dad"

He paused there,not liking it any more than Rory did,but they need to take John down this road.

"Doctor why was he automatically three years old?" Rory asked.

"It might be when I asked about you and Amy,the park,

he didn't remember until I put him under,all the details"

.."And the locked door?"..

"His mind seems to be letting the odd memory,surface. Well we need to start"

Putting a hand on John's forehead.

"John,are you going to wake now for me?"

"Hmm...!" John pulled a face then stretched and yawned. He settled again.

"Come on,you really need to wake,now,John. You can't stay hidden in your mind..John!"

The Doctor shook his arm slightly.

Rory said.

"Let me try?" Turning to his friend.

"Johnnie,you will be late for school..time to get up..I will tell Amy if you don't get up now!"

"Kay,Daddy,I'm up..up.."

.."My Dad.." Rory said softly to the Doctor. "He listened to him,could get him to do as he's told.

John opened his eyes,he seemed puzzled by the two people in front of him.

He recognized,Rory's Daddy,though he wasn't really sure why he was here,or where ' here' was.

The other man, John didn't know,but there was something familiar and frightening about him.

It was,as though John had to go somewhere,but he didn't want to.

Rory noticed the look of fear in John's eyes. He smiled at him.

"Hey,have you had a good sleep,m-John?"

'Have to remember,not me, my Dad and he wouldn't call John Mate' he thought.

The Doctor said.

"Hello,John,do you remember me?"

John shook his head,then grabbed hold of Rory's hand.

"Obviously not " he said softly.

"John,I'm not going to hurt you. Who's that?"

Pointing to Rory.

"..Rory's Daddy.."

"And you trust him?"

John nodded.

"..Right,that's.." Dr Barclay started to say.

"He's lucky" John was saying in his three year old voice.

"Who is John?"

"Rory. His Daddy, doesn't s-smack or s-hout like my D-daddy"

Rory bit his lip. Remembering how jealous he had been of his friend,and all John wanted was the relationship like he had with his Dad. To feel safe,not to be spanked for nothing. Let alone the punching and kicking,that any adult shouldn't inflict on a child.

'John he thought,if I can sort this for you..I will'

"John" the Doctor said. "Your Daddy,do you remember what happened when he took you home from the park?"

"...No..don't w-want to!" John pulled away curled up in a ball on the sofa.

'Well least he wasn't under it or having a panic attack,yet'

Rory thought looking over at the Doctor.

"John you can tell me about when he took you home?" Rory said to him,putting a hand gently on his shoulder.

"Come on lie back and close your eyes you don't need to be frightened.I will hold your hand.

Tell me what happened with Daddy.. please?"

Rory was stroking his head trying to get John to relax,to talk.

"..John?"

" Kay" John turned back,did as he was told.

He held on to Rory's hand,it was like a vice,so he knew how scared John was. He closed his eyes.

"Okay,John,try and recall what happened when Daddy took you home,relax,concentrate"

Dr Barclay suggested.

John took a breath,and began to tell them what happened.

From John's point of view

John was very frightened. Daddy was dragging him by the arm,home from the park. They got nearer to the house,John started to shiver.

He knew that he was in for another spanking,or even worst he would be locked in..there,maybe even..both.

Stopping,the man shook him,making John cry out in pain.

"..I've said before, you little sod,not to play with those two! Keep away from that bloody park!"

"But..Daddy.I-I like.." John started to say.

"Are YOU answering me back?"

With a well aimed slap to John's behind,

"YOU better not be!"

He pushed John towards,the front door.

"Get in that 'fucking' house!"

John tears pouring down his cheeks with the injustice of it..

Indoors his mother was,waiting,John ran towards her..

"..M-ummy!"

"Mike what's the matter,I thought..he"

She said kneeling down,arms round the shaking child. Kissing his head as he sobbed.

Muttering to him..

"It's alright baby,it's alright"

"He was in that bloody park,again after I told him not to.I think he's going to have to be taught a lesson"

He advanced towards both of them grabbing for John.

"No..Daddy..No!..Mummy!"

John knew what he was trying to do,was holding on to her.

"Mike, don't spank him..please! He's only little,a baby.."

"PLEASE don't spank him..please..!" He was mimicking his wife, eyes glinted.

"Oh I have something else in mind,he will learn to mind me!"

Dragging John towards a door..the cellar..Pulling it open.

"Mike,please,you promised..After last time"

Tears,pouring down her own face,as he pushed a screaming John in.

" NO!. Daddy,PLEASE,not in there...I'm sorry. I'll be a good boy. I promise.."

The door closed behind him,John was alone in the dark. Then he heard,

" Cow.!..I said he wasn't to play with those kids..but no, you let him go!"

There was what sounded like a slap and his Mummy was screaming..crying..

"..I'm sorry,I'm sorry Mike,please,punish me,not John let him out,please.." pleading with him.

"Oh,not this time,he stays in there until I think he's been punished. I'm going to the pub and I won't be back until closing time. Your precious son had better be still in there,not tucked up in bed with hot chocolate!"

There was a door slamming,and it went quiet. Then.

"John,baby.." She was stood right up to the door,so he could hear her.

"M-ummy,I'm sc-ared,it's dark.."

"I know,but I can't let you out,sweetheart or Daddy will punish you more"

Pausing then,

"John,I will put the light on so you can go down the stairs,then you won't fall..Sit on the bottom step. There is a bottle with water and a torch. I also put a bucket in case you..."

He knew what that was for...the last time John had been shut in here he had an accident. It was only because his Daddy was so disgusted,he escaped a spanking.

John made his way down the steps,sat on the bottom one. Found the things his Mummy had said.

"..Kay,Mummy"

John called,letting her know he was safe as the light went off again. John whimpered. He didn't like the dark.

"John,baby,it's alright I'm still here..sing your song.. Come on...' Twinkle,twinkle little star...how I wonder'..."

John rubbed a grubby hand over his face,started to sing with her.

".'.What you are..up above'.."

"That's it,good boy.."

"Mummy,I'm sleepy,want to go to bed..."

John could hardly keep his eyes open.

"I know,sweetheart,there is a blanket,put it round you,try and have a nap if you can"

John put it round his shoulders,leaning on the wall next to the step. That was when the spider came down the wall,over his face...John screamed...

Present time

John was,still screaming as Rory was trying to hold onto to him.

John was rubbing at his face..

" ..GET IT OFF ME, DON'T LIKE IT! DON'T LIKE SPIDERS!

"John,it okay..it's not real,not real..hush now"

Rory,rocking him,trying to calm him down.

While he had been telling them what he could remember,John had been lay with his eyes closed still holding on to Rory's hand. As he came to tell them about the spider,his eyes,shot open, he started to get hysterical,Thinking he was back in that cellar.

Suddenly,he went limp in Rory's arms,and Rory thought he had passed out again,until he heard John's low sobs and..

"M-ummy,want..M-ummy"

Then started full on crying. John didn't seemed to be able to stop. All Rory could do was hold him. Dr Barclay stood up from his chair.

"..Rory,do you want me to.."

He started to put his arms out to help lie John back down.

Perched on the sofa next to John who was holding onto him as though he would never let go. Rory stopped him

"..No leave him,it's okay"

John hadn't really cried this hard since Rory had known him. Of course there were tears as a child with the nightmares,then and now with what happened to him in the last few weeks. Nothing like this!

Rory looked over at the Doctor,saying softly with tears in his own eyes

" He needs this..to let go. Right?"

Dr Barclay,said.

"It may help,now he's remembering,but I need to still talk to him,see if there is..more"

John had his head on his shoulder Rory, with arms round him,patting him on the back.

"But not now,we will talk when he's calmed down"

Pointing to the door.

"..I will make some coffee,call if you want me Rory.."

The door closed behind him. Rory was alone with John.

"..Hush,come on John,try and calm down for me. You are going to get really sick if you carry on like this"

"I-I want to go home,R-Rory,p-lease..",The tears were slowing now.

"Rory? Hang on John,how did you..?" Realising John was,talking in his normal voice.

John pulled away from his friend,who handed him the box of tissues that was on the desk.

"_Here"

He blew his nose.

" Thanks. Not sure" John said. "I was just here,I think?" Pausing to look at his friend.

"I remember what happened after the park. Oh God,I was so frightened.

Thinking,maybe this is normal,perhaps I didn't deserve to be loved? Even now?"

Rory who was stood in front of John as he was telling him this. He put a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course you deserved it, as you do now. You are loved by Clara,Daisy your Mum,Amy me. The list is endless. Also you were then if not by him. He was sick,John!"

"I know,but I want to forget Rory,I don't want to be reminded how 'Shit' my life was then!"

"John,I can't take away the pain for you" Rory replied. "I only wish I could,and I'm sorry.."

"..Sorry?"

John looked at his friend in puzzlement.

"Maybe,if I'd told Dad,what was happening to you.." Rory carried on.

"Rory none of this is your fault,Dad may not have believed you. I think he would covered up what was going on" John pulled a face,

"..He was very good at that!"

The door opened then and Dr Barclay came back in with a tray with two cups on it.

"..Don't I get one ?" John said cheekily to him.

"John?" He put the tray down on the desk,hurried over to his patient.

"He came back on his own" Rory offered.

"So I see" The Doctor taking John's pulse.

"Well,am I still ticking then?"

"Your fine" he replied back to him patting him on the shoulder,then handed John one of the cups.

"Here,have this,I will make another in a minute"

Giving the other to Rory.

"It sometimes happens that way,the shock of a trauma can bring a person back. Your okay though?"

John knew he meant his body was alright,for it was his mind the Doctor was referring too.

"I remember what happened,if that what you mean?"

"You need to talk about it now John" the Doctor said.

"Not today,I..think we have gone as far as possible"

Reaching over his desk,pulling his diary towards him.

"Next Wednesday,same time,three,both of you..?"

"If John wants that?" Rory said looking over to his,friend.

"I told you I did..it's easier"

"Fine" the Doctor writing it in.

"..John I'm also going to up the dose of your pills,to four. Just for this week.."

John giving him a look,saying.

"Why,I feel okay"

"I know,but the extra one will help with what you found out today. We will discuss next session this phobia you have with food"

John looking to Rory.

"I suppose,he knows about the voice as well?"

Rory and Dr Barclay looked at each other.

"John,you need to talk,no secrets you said,right?"

Rory replied.

"He's got a point,John. You need to tell me the truth in these sessions. I can help,but not if you don't. Homework,this week is to try to eat even if you don't want too, also to get some sleep"

"Homework!" John pulling his,face. " Food..sleep"

Not looking happy about either.

"Don't worry Doctor,I will make sure he does" Rory replied.

"He will be with Amy and me for the next two weeks. She won't put up with any of his nonsense"

Telling him how the girls were going shopping for the wedding.

"That will be good,how about you,John? What will you and Rory be up to...?"

The Doctor asked then.

"..Keeping out the way,I'm sure Amy will have everything in hand,"

looking to Rory.

"You've been clothes shopping with Pond"

''God,yes!"

Rory remembering her going round every shop,

asking if he liked this or that. Moving on to the next..and the next..It ended with them both back in the first shop,buying the first thing they'd looked at! Rory shuddered.

"I think we'll let the girls have our credit cards and keep out the way,right John?"

"Yes,we can repair the damage later..besides,I -we want to spend ..time with Daisy and Tom"

John smiled. So did Rory,he knew his friend was looking forward,to that.

John finished his coffee. Looking at his watch...quarter to seven.

" Time to go? There's a train at seven,we'll just make it"

"..No.." Rory said.

"What do you mean..No" John turning to him.

" I'm okay,Rory,I won't have a panic attack or collapse"

"It's not that,John,I thought we might have been later than this,so I told Clara you would stop with Amy and me tonight"

"I promised I'd take Clara,shopping tomorrow"

"You still can,I will drive you,besides wouldn't you like to see the kids?"

John face brightened at that.

"Oh...alright then,"getting up.

"I'll just use the loo before we go"

The door closed behind him.

"Rory,I think it's not only your Dad that can handle John,I think you can as well"

"Well I've had lots of practice in the last thirty years" he replied.

The Doctor handed him a piece of paper.

"Here..The extra pills,I want him on"

Handing him a box as well.

"The sedative,in case he needs it"

"Do you think he will?" Rory looked at the box in his hand.

The Doctor shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe,you know how he can go? It's best to be prepared.I don't like doping him anymore than you do,Rory,but if he won't sleep..he could get sick again. You have my number in case there is any problems"

Rory nodded,as John came back into the room. Quickly putting the box in his pocket.

"Ready to go then,mate?" He said to him.

John nodded.

"Thanks Doctor,see you next week?"

"Yes,remember what I said,John sleep and eat"

John sighed.

".. Yeah,right.."

Rory following his friend out the door,wondered how things were going to be over next hours,would,John behave? Time would tell?

Next Chapter

Rory takes John back home to Amy.

Daisy and Tom will be pleased to see him.

Will John and Daisy have nightmares?

Rory tells Amy about Marie turning up at Dr Barclays.

More soon.


	75. Chapter 75

Return to Love

Chapter 75

John was very quiet on the journey back to Chelsea. Rory asking him if he was alright. Apart from a 'hmm' and a shrug of the shoulders,it was all he could get out of him.

It was after eight when Rory pulled on to the drive at the house turning off the engine.

.."Well we're home" he said. When there was no answer, looked over at John who was,staring out of the window..

"John?" Rory touching him on the arm. John flinched violently away from him.

"..NO!.."

"John,mate it's me..Rory,calm down.."

John was shaking slightly. Looking at him with tired eyes, then rubbing his hand over his face,said.

"..Yeah,I know it is..Sorry,was somewhere else for a minute"

'Bloody hell' Rory thought, 'I think we may need that sedative. I will have trouble getting him to go sleep tonight.

Good job I didn't put him on the train,because the state he's in,I bet he'd have fallen asleep and ended up God knows where'

"Do you want to go in the house now? Are you alright,John? No that's a stupid question,your not are you?"

"Rory it's okay,I'm sorry,I'd switched off,I wasn't sure who I was,where I was..Oh fuck this! Maybe I wasn't meant to be born"

He was rubbing his face again.

"John,you are not making a lot of sense.." Rory replied.

"That's me,King of not making sense. Rory,I don't want to do this any more"

"Don't want to do what John?"

"Talk to Dr Barclay,it isn't helping" he said.

"Give it a chance" Rory said.."You will feel.."

"What? Better,normal? Somehow I don't think that is going to happen Rory"

John replied.

He got out of the car,instead of going to the front door with Rory,started too walk towards the path that led to the park.

"John..wait.."

Rory went to stand in front of him.

..Where do you think you are going?.."

"Somewhere,anywhere,nowhere"

Throwing his hands up in the air..

"I want to be on my own,I need to think!"

"The last time John in this frame of mind, you tried to do something stupid!"

Rory getting angry,so was John.

"..You will never let me forget that,will you Rory? The pills! Look,I will be back in half an hour, I don't break my promises.."

Rory still stood in front of his friend with his arms folded.

"..Okay John you win,half an hour,but I will come looking,if you're any longer.."

"Fine,whatever!" John said,walking off down the path to the park.

Rory shaking his head went to the front door which opened,Amy stood there.

"I thought you weren't coming in.." She looked behind him. "Raggedy Man?"

"Gone for a walk,he wanted to be by himself"

"Is it alright for him to on his own?"

"..Amy,that's the problem,he thinks I don't trust him.I have to sometime or else he will never get better"

Rory pulling his hand through his fringe.

"If he doesn't come back in half an hour,I will go and look. Amy,he.."

Suddenly a little blond bombshell hurled herself out of the door into his arms..

"..Uncle Rory,Uncle Rory.."

"Hello sweetheart,have you had a good day?"

Kissing the top of her head.

"Talk later" he whispered over it.

"Where's Tom?"

"Watching television,I was going to get them both ready for bed,when I heard the car"

Walking towards the lounge,with Daisy chatting away about where they have been and what they had done that day.

Tom came out of the lounge at the sound of their voices.

"Uncle Rory,your back "

"Hello Tom,Mate"

He ruffled his hair.

Throwing his arms round Rory's waist. Then.

"..Is Uncle John not here? Auntie Amy said he was coming to stay tonight "

He looked round eagerly for John.

"Uncle John will be here later,he had to call somewhere first.

Tell you what.."

Rory with his arm's round the two children,head bent to their level.

"How about a story? Let's see who can get into their pyjamas the quickest,then I'll come up..Ready? One,two three,go!"

Daisy and Tom rushed upstairs giggling.

Amy looked to her husband,touched his face.

"Sweetheart,are you sure about this?"

She thought Rory looked really tired.

"Amy,I can manage a story,tell John where I am when he comes back will you?"

Amy nodded as Rory headed upstairs. She went into the kitchen.

'If John came back on his own' She thought.

Hoping that Rory would not have to go out and look for him again.

Turning up the oven to finish the casserole she had made for supper,suddenly heard the front door open,then close. Footsteps coming down the hall. John appeared in the doorway.

He had been out less than half an hour.

If Amy thought her husband looked tired,John looked worst!

"Raggedy Man there you are, we wondered where you had got to. Rory's upstairs reading a story to the kids. Are you_" She started to say..

John shook his head,his face crumpled he sat down at the table,bursting into tears.

Amy with arms around him, hugging him,kissed his head.

"Oh sweetheart,it will all be okay. Rory and me will sort it out,we always,do!"

"N-not this time P-ond,everything keeps going w-wrong. All I'm d-doing is making everybody else miserable.. so fe-d up with all this" he sobbed.

"Look,your just tired..come on Raggedy Man"

She pulled John to his feet. He wiped his eyes.

"W-where are w-e going P-pond?"

She led him through the lounge,towards the stairs,John held back,shook his head.

"No,I don't want to go to bed. Not yet Amy"

He went and sat on the sofa,shivering slightly.

"Okay whatever you want,John. How about something to eat,then? I have a casserole in the oven for the three of us,it should be ready by_"

.."I'm not really hungry,Amy.."

John looking up,interrupting her.

Amy glanced up to the top of the stairs where Rory had appeared. He put his finger to his lip shook his head.

She had an idea that he was trying to see how John was before deciding the next step.

.."Well how about a banana milk shake then?"

.."With vanilla ice cream and nuts?"

John was actually taking an interest in something.

"If that's what you want Raggedy Man?"

John smiled at her.

"You haven't made me one of those for a while"

"Then it's time I did..Won't be long Raggedy Man"

Amy went back to the kitchen. Rory came down the stairs.

"There you are kids, are asleep,I told them you would be here later and would see them in the morning"

John who had been sat with his head in his hands,looked up at his friend.

Rory had moved across to pick up the days post from the side table.

"Rory?"

"Yes"

.."I'm sorry I took the 'hump' with you before"..

.."Again.." Rory said deadpan.

"..You do mind! I told Pond,I was making you all miserable,perhaps I'd better just go.."

John shot up from where he was sat on the sofa,heading for the door.

'Oh me and my big mouth!' Rory thought putting the letters down,quickly going after him.

"John,I'm sorry didn't mean that.I was winding you up,which you don't need after the day you've had!"

Rory touched him on the shoulder.

"Come on,I'm sorry"

John turned back to answer him.

"Rory..I.."

The room blured,and he passed out.

"..Christ! John.."

Rory catching him before he hit the floor, was calling for Amy..

..Faint voices..

"Its my fault,I was winding him up!"_

"Stop it Rory! Of course it wasn't! He was upset anyway,with what happened today"_

Amy was saying back to him.

John came back round,on the sofa, a wet cloth on his head.

Pushed it away,struggled to sit up.

.."Ugh..What happened?"..

"John,oh thank God I was getting worried.. You passed out.."

Rory kneeling next to him helping him to sit up. Amy behind him looking anxious.

"How long?.. " John asked then.

"About twenty minutes,that's why I was getting worried,John. You have never been out that long before"

Rory said to him.

" It's my fault for winding you up"

"Don't talk wet,Rory,it's mine for getting worked up before"

Looking at his friend,who handed him a glass of water.

"I know you said I shouldn't blame myself,but this time,I got myself so worked up about what I found out today I..took it out on you,that's not fair.."

Rory tried to interrupt him. John went on..

Sipping at the water..Then..

.."You,Amy and Clara have all..looked after me in the last three months, both of you in the last thirty years,and I love you for that"

Rory sat on the sofa, next to him touched his arm.

Okay..John,tell me,us.." pointing to Amy as well.

" What it is you want?"

"What I want?" He repeated.

"Yes,what does John Smith want for the rest of his life?"

"What I want is a life with Clara,Mum,my family"

"So have that" Rory said back to him.

"John you have fought so hard to get this far,are you going to give up now?"

"No..I.."

John turned a tired face to his friend,rubbed his eyes a gesture not lost on Rory.

Pausing then,said.

"..you need to eat and also to sleep.."

John looked panicked at this.

"I want to sleep,Oh God,do I want to sleep,but the nightmares.."

"John you can't survive on no sleep at all"

Rory said to him with a look to Amy.

"Believe me,I've done it,

What about when you had your..Well you know what happened.

I had hardly any sleep that if you hadn't asked me to stay,I don't think Auntie would have let me drive home again..I..was so exhausted, because I hadn't slept properly..for nearly two nights"

John...looked guilty at that..

"I'm not blaming you,it's how things ..are,but you can try to help yourself with this..look"

Rory taking a box from out of his pocket.

"Dr Barclay gave me this,in case you had trouble,sleeping"

John pulled a face at that.

"More pills..? Is it not bad enough I have to take four now,without sleeping pills as well?"

"That's only for a short time.

With what you found out today,John because of.. "

"I don't want to talk about.THAT..Rory"

John turned away from him,arms folded.

"Alright,John.. Look.I will make a deal with you.

We won't talk about what is discussed with the Doctor,not unless you want to. You have to promise to take your pills through?"

Rory shook one of the pills out of the box onto his hand.

"..including this one.."

John still didn't look so sure...

"All it will do is relax you..won't even knock you out. I will even sit with you in case,the nightmares come back"

John looked at his friends then came to a decision. This wasn't fair on any of them. Rory who was trying too do the best for them all,especially him. Also he had to start somewhere.

One night without sleep,but what about the next,and the next ?..If he got sick,started to see things.. There would be no Clara,no family,and no wedding! He really had to stop being a baby about this!

"Okay..I'll take it.."

John took the pill,swallowing it with the last of the water.

"Good " Rory patted John on the shoulder.

"Now how about that milk shake Amy made for you? Take it up?"

John nodded and Amy went to the kitchen and came back with a tall glass.

"There you go Raggedy Man,just how you like it,honey mixed in with the ice cream,nuts on top"

She smiled.

For some reason,John liked this,Rory and her found it sickly. Still if got it got some sort of food down him,it was a start.

"Here, I'll carry that up for you John" Rory taking the glass from Amy.

"Thanks Pond" John hugging her to him.

"Sorry to be so much trouble"

"Oh your never that" kissing his cheek pushing him..towards Rory.

"..Go and get some rest Raggedy Man"

"Yes.. Miss.." he said_,_ saluting her..

"Less of the cheek you.."

Glad to see some of the old John still there.

The two men headed upstairs,Amy went back to the kitchen.

Amy had..been worried..

Getting the things out to make the milk shake for John.

Then as,she was about to turn the oven up to finish the casserole (luckily she hadn't or it would have been burnt offerings for Rory and her!) heard Rory calling for her.

When she went into the lounge,found John flat out on the floor.. Rory frantic,trying too bring him round.

He was out a good twenty minutes,like Rory had said to him.

'Maybe it was the tiredness' Amy thought. Still least Rory got John to take the sedative, also the talk he had to him seemed to help as well. Though knowing her 'Raggedy Man',he would fight it. Sighing Amy finished preparing the supper.

Meanwhile..Upstairs:

Rory was sat on the end of the bed,waiting for John to come back from the bathroom. He had taken ten minutes to undress,and get into his pyjamas. If Rory didn't know any better,he would swear he was stalling. Still least he had drunk half of the milk shake.

John came back into the room,he went over to the bed,but didn't get in.

.."John.. it won't bite you.." Rory said lightly.

John threw him a look,but sat down on the bed. ..Then he got up again going over to the door.

.."Is that one of the kids..?"

Wobbling slightly as he got to there.

"Woe.."

Shaking his head,Rory got up to stop him,putting an arm round him,leading him back to the bed.

That's all he needed tonight,three over active kids running round. John was dead on his feet,but would find the energy from somewhere,if he woke Daisy and Tom.

"Enough is enough,John come on lie down now,Daisy and Tom are asleep,and so should you be"..

John lay down because the look on Rory's face said.

'I'm not going to argue with you,not tonight!'

Besides his friend looked like a white washed wall, he felt guilty for playing him up!

Rory covered him up.

"Close your eyes,John"..

John did but opened one eye. Rory wiggled his fingers at him.

"I'm not going anywhere,I'll hold your hand if you like?"

"No".. he yawned.."It's fine..Rory..?"

"Hmm.." he was starting to doze himself.

"Than_" John gave a slight snore which shook Rory out of his doze. He was asleep.

"Bloody hell..thank God for that" he muttered pushing John's fringe gently out of his eyes.

.."Thought I was never going to get him to settle.

Sleep well,mate"

Getting up and going to the door,he closed it quietly behind him. Going back down to Amy.

She looked up from the television as he came down the stairs.

"..Well?"

"He's asleep,but he fought me all the way..."

Telling his,wife about John's antics upstairs..

"That's Raggedy Man". . She smiled.

Amy came over,put her arms round Rory, thought he looked really tired.

"..And the milk shake?"

"He drank half" Rory volunteered.

"Oh well maybe tomorrow,he will eat something,especially if he sees the kids eating" Amy finished.

"Speaking of food,I think it's time you had some? You must be starving?"

Rory's stomach rumbled.

He was stood with his head on top of Amy's, enjoying holding her.

His rumbling stomach reminded him he'd had nothing since that sandwich with Dr Barclay at five. It was ten now.

Amy,hearing it as well said,

"Stupid face,you promised me you would eat..Rory.. "

.."Hmm?"

Amy pushed him slightly away from her.

"Nice as this is,you need to eat.

Sit down at that table,I'll get the supper. Do as your told.."

Kissing him, Amy went into the kitchen.

Rory had opened his mouth to protest,but his stomach rumbled again.

Amy's tone suggested no argument so Rory sat down. God he was tired.. . It was only now he'd stopped,it was catching up with him.

Amy came back in with the casserole,putting it on the table.

"Here we go.. let's eat and then it's time someone else was in..bed.."

"Only if you come with me... " Rory said wickedly.

"Though I should ring Clara and Auntie about what happened to John today.."

He looked over at Amy dishing out the supper..Shaking his head.

"It's a conversation I'm not looking forward to. I mean Clara is one thing,but how do I tell Auntie what he did to John,to her son? I mean she knows..most of it,but to actually tell her..what he did"

"Sweetheart, you can't not tell her..and we all agreed,to get John through this,no secrets,right? Besides,I think it,can wait until tomorrow"

"I told Clara,I would ring tonight.." Rory started to say.

"Or tomorrow will do" Amy finished.

"Clara rang while you were upstairs with John. I told her you were both asleep"

Rory swallowing the mouthful,he had eaten.

"..Amy..!"

"Look I'm sure it can wait a few more hours Rory..You're exhausted. Clara seemed happy with that.. You told her either right?"

Rory looked up at his wife,as she took his empty plate away and poured the coffee which she put in front of him.

"Perhaps it's as well,there is another problem we have to deal with as well" Rory said then.

.."Oh"..

Rory telling Amy then about Marie,how they had bumped into her at Dr Barclay's.

"You mean to say,she is seeing him for problems similar to John's?" She said then.

"Not sure. Dr Barclay couldn't or wouldn't tell us anything,because of confidentiality,but there is something that not right,Amy. Maybe we'll find out when I see 'husband Will' next week,with John and Clara?"

"Poor Raggedy Man" Amy said shaking her head. "it's one thing after another,he doesn't need this"

Rory yawned then.

"I think I'm going to have to go to bed soon"

"You go up,sweetheart,I'll be up,soon as I've cleaned up here"

She started to clear the table.

"I'll give you a hand" Rory stood up,swaying slightly on his feet.

.."Oh no,stupid face..bed for you,I think. I'm not picking you up off the floor tonight!"

Kissing him, touching his face.

.."Go..I won't be long.."

Pushing Rory towards the door. He was too tired to argue.

When Amy came up half an hour later,she had checked John on the way. He was fast asleep on his back snoring and Rory was on his stomach.

She smiled..'Her boy's...Soon Amy was asleep as well.

Later 2AM

Something had woken Daisy. It wasn't a nasty dream,but..well she wasn't sure what it was. She got up to use the bathroom.

On her way back,she remembered that Auntie Amy had said John was coming to spend the night. He hadn't arrived before Uncle Rory had put Tom and her to bed,she wondered if he had now?

Should she go..and look? Daisy didn't think anyone would mind. Going down to the next landing, made her way to the room she knew her Mummy and John slept in.

Opening the door,Daisy could see John asleep on his side of the bed.. Going over,she got in Mummy's side.

John opened an eye at the movement of the bed,realised who It was.

"Hello D-Daisy"..

He muttered,putting his arm round her,then dropping back into sleep. Daisy settled down,started to doze herself. Smiling,she had missed John in the last few days.

Even later: 3AM

John turned over away from Daisy,muttering in a dream.

"No..No..Mummy..please..don't..want to..!"

Daisy woke up suddenly. Hearing John crying out in his sleep. She knelt up on the bed,shaking his arm.

"John..John..what's the matter..?"

"D-don't let D-Daddy.." Mummy..M-mummy.!"

John wasn't waking up and,he was crying. Daisy got out of bed. She knew something was wrong, but didn't understand what..

'Uncle Rory..have to get Uncle Rory' She thought.

Rory and Amy were fast asleep.. There was a knocking sound coming from somewhere..Rory opened one eye,squinted at the clock on his side of the bed. 3.10 AM...

The knocking continued,and a little voice called out.

.."U-uncle Rory..p- please..!"

Rory awake now,getting out of bed,putting on his dressing gown..Amy was stirring as well,

.."What's the matter?..

"It's Daisy.. another nightmare maybe" He said,going over to open the door. Amy out of bed now,reaching for her own dressing gown.

Daisy stood there,tearful..

.."Uncle Rory..J-John.."

"Sweetheart. It's alright he's.."

Putting an arm round her thought she had a nightmare was asking for John.

"No..No,I can't wake him! He's crying,asking for Nanny!"

Daisy was getting agitated.

Rory could hear John's sobs, as Daisy had left the bedroom door slightly open. ..With a look to Amy. She came over to them both.

"Daisy,sweetie,let's go downstairs and make some hot chocolate?"

Putting an arm round her to lead her towards the stairs,

"..But John.." Daisy said looking back.

"Don't worry Uncle Rory will sort it.."

Amy said.

"Grown ups have bad dreams too.."

'Hell,Hell'

Rory thought as he went into the bedroom shutting the door behind him. John was lay curled up on the bed still sobbing.

"M- mummy,I'm s-cared,let me out p-lease.I will be-be a good boy,I p-romise"

John was begging.

'Oh God' Rory thought, 'he thinks he's still in that cellar' His heart went out to his friend.

Going over, sitting on the bed,he put his hand on John's shoulder.

"..John,it's_" he started to say,but John flinched sat up quickly.. trying to get off the bed.

"NO,NO,I'M SORRY,DADDY..PLEASE DON'T SMACK ME! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN! PLEASE DADDY!"

'Oh bloody hell!' Rory thought.

John was getting hysterical. Frightened that he could hurt himself,Rory put his arms round him and held on.

.."John..Johnnie,it's Rory's Daddy,your Daddy as gone away remember? No one is going to hurt you ever again. Hush now.."

Rory rocking him trying to calm him.

"It's okay..okay..hush now"

John..still was trying to pull away from him,but seemed to be listening,as he held him,something stirred at the back of his mind..

His Dad getting up to a four year old John,who had woken up screaming for the third time that week.

Himself the same age,yawning,rubbing his eyes because his sleep,had been disturbed. Not that he minded,was more concerned about his new best friend.

"Go back to bed,Rory.."

"Is John okay Daddy?"

"It's going to take time, for what happened to him,losing his Mum and Dad..Maybe he will get over the nightmares,he might forget as he gets older.."

His Dad covering up a sleeping John also putting him back in bed doing the same.

"All we can do is look out for him..go to sleep now Rory"

Kissing his head. Turning out the light.

Back in the present Rory thought..

'and we have been doing that ever since,especially me. Dad was right about the nightmares,going away. Would they have stayed away if he hadn't met Sue?'

"Dam Sue,dam Jack and dam his..so call Dad who started this!" He said under his breath.

John seemed calmer now,his breathing evened out..Rory eased him down onto the bed. He muttered,but went quiet as Rory stroked his fringe back.

"..Hush,now.."

'He needs a haircut,must remind him. Tom will need one soon,perhaps we could both take him to the barbers next week'

Amy put her head round the door.

"How is he?" She whispered.

"Asleep.." he whispered back. "I'll come out"

Rory came on to the landing,he left the door open slightly so they could hear John if he called out.

.."Daisy?"

"I managed to get her to go back to bed.

She was still worried about John,but I persuaded her that he needed to sleep.

Daisy fell asleep,ten minutes ago.."

"Poor kid,she must have been In bed with him when he started to have the nightmare" Rory said..

"Still she knew to come and get us"

"Yes,she told me she wanted to see him,that they were both asleep and he started crying. Daisy thought it was for Auntie though" Amy replied.

"It's best she thinks that for now" Rory looked at John's bedroom door.

"I wonder if I should sit with him a while longer,just to make sure he's settled?"

.."Rory..It's nearly five,you need to sleep as well,look leave our door open,we'll hear if he calls out"

When her husband still hesitated,Amy said.

"If this was John,you would be telling him off for not going to bed.

You are going to be no good to him if you're sick! Bed Rory,now!"

Pointing towards their room

"Okay,you win,I'm going.."

In the bedroom,Rory took off his dressing gown,got into bed.

"Here,stupid face" Amy pouring liquid into a cup from a thermal jug at the side of the bed.

Handing the cup to him.

" What's this?"

Hot chocolate,drink it.."

Rory pulled a face,but did as he was told.

"Are you not having any?"

" I had some with Daisy. Right." She said taking the cup from him...

"Lie down..."

Getting in her own side,of the bed..

.."Blimey, John was right about who wears the trousers.." he muttered under his breath.

"Oi,I heard that,stupid face,go to sleep! I left both doors open,go to sleep Rory!"

As he sat up to look pulled him back down again.

"Okay..okay!"

Rory gave up and closed his eyes,didn't think he,would sleep worried as he was about John. Perhaps when Amy went to sleep,he could go check on his friend?

Morning. Tuesday 10am

Rory turned over in the bed,put his hand over to Amy's side..She wasn't there. Looking at the clock on the bedside table. 10.05am.

Blimey,he must have slept. He felt much better.

So much for getting up to see if John was okay when Amy went to sleep..

"Bloody hell,John!" He said, jumping out of bed as he remembered, grabbing for his dressing gown.

The door opened then,Amy came in with coffee and toast on a tray.

Noticing her husband frantically trying to get his arm into a dressing gown sleeve,that was obviously inside out!

"Easy Tiger! What do you think you're doing..Rory?"

Putting the tray down on the bedside table. Going over to try and help.

.."John..need to see he's alright,after last night"

"Sweetheart Raggedy Man is fine,in fact better than..fine,he's taken the kids to the park"

Rory had stopped struggling while Amy put his sleeve the right way,then realising what she had said.

"He's gone,where!?"

"The park. He got up about eight,the kids were pleased to see him especially Daisy. It's a wonder you didn't hear the noise from above,not sure what game they were playing but.."

Amy shook her head,but smiled.

Rory fastening his dressing gown,then sat on the bed.

"I take it that's for me,"

as she poured him a coffee. Handed him the plate of toast.

"Speaking of John,as he eaten anything? Thanks" as Amy passed him a cup of coffee.

"The kids had bacon sandwiches,so did John"

"And he ate It?"

"Most of it,I don't think he would have ate anything if the kids hadn't been there"

Amy said. "Rory is there still something that's stopping him eating,do you think in his mind?"

"There could be,it's what Dr Barclay wants to discuss in his next session. Like I said before we can't force him,but try and persuade,you know how John goes if he thinks your pushing"

"Oh yes,but he can be talked round,I think Auntie, and Clara are quite good at that.." Amy replied.

Rory eating the last piece of toast,swallowing down his coffee.

"Talking of Clara and Auntie,I really should call tell them what happened yesterday"

" I think Raggedy Man spoke to Clara earlier,I don't think he said much to her about yesterday"

Amy putting Rory's cup and plate back on the tray to take downstairs.

"Oh.. I think she must have asked,because I heard him say 'Rory will tell you,I don't want to discuss this Clara.. ' He hung up when he saw me,then said he would take the kids to the park"

"I hope he's not going to go into denial about this" Rory said sat on the bed still. Rubbing his face.

"Amy..what was his mood like? Was he calm? Did he say anything about the nightmare?"

"No nothing at all,but he was just how he always is. He seemed,better a lot like the old John.

In fact,he said he felt lots took his pill in front of me..You said he as to take four now?"

"Dr Barclay said just for this week,he's going to review this,next time we see him" Rory pausing.

"I could be wrong,perhaps he thinks that if he doesn't talk about what happened,yesterday,even before that,it might stop the nightmares,which leaves me a lot of explaining to do"

Sighing,Rory got up..

"I'm going to have a shower.

I will call Auntie and Clara,tell them what is going on.I need to speak to John,but I will do that later"

"Rory,you won't upset,this good mood he's in?"

He turned back to his,wife.

"I'm glad he's feeling better,but if John won't admit to some of his problems,talk about it,

we could end up back to square one"

Walking over to her,taking her hand in his..

"You know I will do anything for him,I can't be a crutch for him,if there is something he doesn't like or want to do! That's denial Amy"

He kissed her then headed to the bathroom and Amy went downstairs.

Rory's Office 11.15am

When Rory went downstairs,John and the kids,were still not back from the park.

He told Amy that he was going to be phoning for the next hour,and he wasn't to be disturbed,unless it was an emergency.

She nodded,knowing he wanted to speak to Auntie in private.

"I'll tell John you have other work you need to finish,before the weekend?" She said.

"Well,it's sort of the truth" Rory replied.

"I do have one case to finish up before Friday not much to do on it.I don't like lying to John,but needs must"

Rory went into his office then,shutting the door. Sat down at his desk picking up his mobile.

He decided to talk to Auntie first. Maybe Clara would be there with her,but he hoped not,as it was a conversation that should be between them,least until he knew how she would take it about John.

Auntie's phone rang once,twice then picked up on the third ring..

"Rory,dear,how are you today? How's John?"

She must have been waiting for him to call. Sounded so eager to find out about her son.

"Auntie,John is fine first of all.."

'Well he was, according to Amy.' He thought.

"Sorry I didn't get back to you and Clara yesterday,but it was hectic,especially after we got back last night"

"Did he talk to the Doctor?" His Aunt asked then.

"Clara said he hynosised him again?"

" Yes, he did start another way talking to John,trying to get him to remember back to his childhood,but.."

Rory said to her.

Began to tell her about how John had got when he remembered about a 'locked door' That he had a panic attack had begged to be hypnotized.

"Did you find out anything else when he did?"

Rory sighed. 'Auntie was not going to like this part'

" When John was put under" Rory continued, "he found out that..that..Oh God..Auntie,I don't.."

"Rory please..I need to know..I understand how hard this as been for you and I'm glad John had you with him.."

Rory swallowed and began to tell her what his,so call Dad had done to John the punishments,trying to stop him from playing with Amy and him,and the worst part locking him in the cellar for daring to go against him.

On the other end of the phone,Mary had gone quiet listening to Rory.

"Auntie..are you still there,talk to me please"

"I know John told me he forgave me for what happened to him,but I don't think he realised how deep this went.."

Pausing then,Rory heard her burst into tears.

"..Oh -oh,wha-t have I d-done to him? I -I should never have signed that dam paper!"

"Auntie please don't cry... "He was trying to calm her down.

"What kind of M-Mother am I?"

"A good one!" Rory replied without hesitation.

"None of us blamed you for this,

John certainly doesn't,he told me so.. Auntie I know it's hard,but John needs to find out this,so he can get on with his life"

Rory telling her about John not wanting to sleep and the nightmare he'd had when he eventually did.

"That was with what came out yesterday,but the Doctor thinks it better that what ever John is suppressing should,or it could be worst for him if he doesn't admit it.

That brings me to another problem"

"Oh.." Auntie said.

"John spoke to Clara,earlier?" he asked her.

"Yes..Clara said he told her didn't want to talk about it and you would explain.."

"This is what I mean,Auntie,John seems as though he's in denial about what happened to him.I will do everything to help him,you know that,but not at the expensive of him burying his head in the sand!"

Mary wiping her eyes,realising how detemined Rory sounded. John could be so stubborn,but his friend would not let him have his own way,especially if it was for his own good!

"Rory,what about this phobia with food?" Did you have time to speak to Dr Barclay about it?"

"No,I'm afraid not Auntie,but he told John it's what would be discussed next time,that and the voice.

He didn't seem to pleased about it,you know how he is if you push him.

WE both had a long day by that time"

"I know sweetheart,thank you,Rory..I am grateful,it must be hard on you.. see him like this?"

"Auntie we go on..as long as it takes,right?"

Rory paused then said.. to change the subject.

"How's the hotel,Simon and Dave?"

"Their both fine,in fact they have a nice surprise for John..The top floor is clear"

"It is"

"Completely..rubbish removed, all ready for the builders to give him estimates on Thursday"

"Well that should cheer John up" Rory said.

"Clara is she okay?"

"She's just come up from reception,do you want a word?"

"Sure"

Rory heard the phone being handed over..then.

"Hello Rory"

"Hi,sweetheart how are you? John as taken Daisy and Tom to the park,though he should be back now if you want me to.."

" Its fine,Rory he sounded much better when I spoke to him earlier,I know he still as a long way to go,but.."

"He does,look Clara,Auntie will tell you what went on yesterday,

but do you want John to take you shopping later? I thought if you did,I could bring him to meet you at the shopping centre? Auntie could bring you,if that's okay?"

Rory heard Clara asking Auntie,then.

"That's okay Rory,about four?"

"Perfect,see you then,at the cafe? Bye sweetheart"

"Bye.."

Rory heard her hang up.

'Well I suppose that didn't got to bad' he thought.

'Nearly twelve' Looking at his watch.

'John and the kids should be back.

Best go and tell everyone what's happening this afternoon.I want to talk to John about his problems,just hope he is still in a good mood and stays that way.

Next Chapter

Rory talks to John.

Will he listen or kick off again?

John go's shopping with Clara for new clothes

More in Chapter 76.


	76. Chapter 76

Return to Love

Chapter 76

Rory came out of his office. Heading towards the kitchen where he could hear voices.

John was sat at the kitchen table with a half a cup of coffee and a sandwich,which didn't look as though it had been touched. He was talking to Amy.

"The kids _" He was saying..

"Wanted to have a picnic,I told them maybe next week,sometime when Clara and me are here? We had to come home now, because Rory would wonder where we'd got to.."

Amy glanced over to her husband.

.."Rory wants you to eat that sandwich"

His friend was,stood against the door frame with his arms folded,nodding at the table.

John had looked up at the sound of his voice,he grinned at him.

"Hello,mate,you look a lot better.."

"So do you,John,but I still want you to eat"

John looking from Rory back to the sandwich,as though debating if too push it..

"I had a bacon sandwich with the kids earlier" he said.

.."Which I'm told you only ate ..half if that?" Rory said with a look to Amy,who nodded.

.."Pond..said you,wouldn't tell!." John with a sulky look to Amy.

"I didn't say that,John.."

John turned back to the table,with a dark look in his eyes,stood up with his arm outstretched as though to knock the sandwich off the plate and the table.

Rory was one step ahead moved quickly. He grabbed John's hand to stop him.

"John, for God's sake,what is the matter with you!"

Rory couldn't believe the change in John,and all over a 'bloody sandwich..'

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

John's eyes had glazed over,he was struggling with Rory, who was holding on, as he was trying to get away from him..

.."John,stop this! What's wrong?"

Then he turned on Rory,kicking his shin..

He let go, John's eyes blazed.

Fuck! John! What the hell!

"I won't eat it I won't! WON'T! Even if you try make me eat t-the soap a-again ..Daddy.."

Rory rubbing at his shin,but keeping an eye on John,in case he made a break for it. Amy was wide eyed, stood behind him. She said quietly.

.."Rory what's going on,why is he...?"

"I'm not exactly sure. Amy,where are the kids?"

"Upstairs,you don't think he would,hurt them?"

"Of course not!"

He rounded on her..

" This is John Smith we're talking about. I don't want them to see him like this"

"I told you not to upset him..!" She turned on him.

.."Amy for God sake,I was only trying to get him to eat. He's not four..throwing a bloody tantrum!"

Rory was getting angry,snipping back at her..They hadn't had a falling out,like this since John met Sue.

"Though I'm not sure at the moment,this could be something to do with what happened to him yesterday. Just keep the kids,out of the way,I'll try to get him in my office. It reminds me of how he was at Auntie's last week"

John was now sat on the floor,arms round his knees,rocking..still saying..

"Won't..Won't..Won't.."

"Rory..you will sort this,I know you will" Amy with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I shouted sweetheart,I know you will do what you can" She looked over at John.

"For him" Touching Rory's face.

"Did he hurt you when he kicked you?"

"Well..it's no worst than when he bit me"

Rory said tongue in cheek.. rubbing his shin.

Thinking back to the other week,when John was in a nightmare,this was like that wasn't it? He sorted it then,so he would now..

Kissing Amy on the head,pushing her towards the door.

"..Go see to the kids.."

Amy shut the door behind her.

Rory turned round to look back at John. He had stopped,rocking,but was staring at him over his arm. His eyes looked ..scared..

'John or Johnnie.?' Rory thought.

'Which way to go,will he trust me?'

Rory took a couple of steps towards his friend..John didn't move,but started to shake his head saying...

"No..No, please,I don't want the soap..I will eat my dinner..don't smack m-me NO..!"

John all of him was shaking now,begging.

"..P-please..please.."

Rory kneeling down in front of him,showing John his hands.

"Hey..it's alright. Look,no soap..see"

Rory thinking as he tried to calm him down.

'Soap..why would John say that? Something about eating it? God,I hope it's not what I think it is..'

John flinched away,as Rory had moved his hands towards him,so he stayed where he was. Not touching him.

'If he thinks I'm his,Dad,might not believe I'm mine if I tell him that.

' The more we find out,the more complicated this gets' He thought.

.. Trying it another way. Rory said.

"Tell me who I am..Please?"

"He was pleading with him,remembering how he went a few weeks ago at his flat,over the writing desk.

"You're John Smith. Remember? Please,mate?"

John's eyes had the same puzzled look.

'He doesn't know who he is now.. who I am'

Rory put his head in his hands.

'HELL' Don't think I can sort this,not this time'

Rory was thinking of getting help, calling Dr Barclay,when..

Suddenly a shaky voice said.

"R-Rory why are we on the f-loor?

There was a hand on his arm, looking up,John had crawled over to him.

.."Why are you crying,what's happened?"

John touching his friends face,because he had tears coming down his cheeks.

. ."B-bloody Hell J-John.. your b-back.."

Wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"I only took the kids to the park,Pond said you were,still asleep_"

Rory didn't let him finish,

"Fuck John! I- thought we'd lost you.."

He flung his arms round his friends neck.

"Ouf! Mate,I only went to the park. Rory,you're scaring me now,as something happened to Amy? Oh my God. It's Clara,the babies!"

He shot up off the floor.

Rory let him go. Following him up.

"John,John calm down,everyone is fine.."

John was getting agitated..

"I can't go through this,not again!"

Walking up and down..Shaking his head.

He was getting breathless.

Rory took hold of John by the arms.

"Clara's fine,so are the twins. Stop it John! Breathe.."

He was frightened John was going to go into full panic mode if he didn't.

"In and out. It's fine. John,calm down and I'll explain. Breathe"

John was taking breaths,in and out..

"Would I be stood here if it was Clara? Do as your told, and I'll tell you what happened?"

Rory said slowly to him.

When he seemed calmer,he said

"Go to the office,sit down, I'll make some coffee. We need to talk John"

When he hesitated,Rory said.

.."John..Everyone is alright, no one is hurt.

Trust me?"

John stared at his friend,nodded then went into the office.

Rory hearing the door close,slumped against the breakfast bar,he needed to collect his thoughts.

He still wasn't sure what happened before. John seemed okay.

Then something set him off again. This time Rory really thought he had gone back in on himself,and wasn't coming back. Nor would he be able to sort this ...a vision of John as a four year old forever,never getting his friend back!

Something was wrong and he needed to find out what? Rory switched the kettle on to make the coffee.

There was also what John let slip before,'eating soap' What the hell was,that all about!?

Rory had heard enough grown ups say over his childhood years.

' I will wash your mouth out with soap' If someone swore,especially a child.

That bloody Dad of John's. Did he wash his mouth out? If he did Rory bet it wasn't because he swore!

He might have forgot some of his childhood with John,but he knew John didn't swear then. (As he did now,they both did!) He didn't think he knew what a swear word meant..Rory's Dad never laid a hand on either of them. Punishments for bad behaviour were usually loss of privileges as he explained to Tom on the beach the other day.

The kettle clicked off,Rory quickly made the coffee. Put it on a tray,as an afterthought added a packet of Jammy Dodgers. He headed to his office.

John was sat on the sofa,knees up to his chest. He straighten up when Rory came in.

Rubbing at his face with the back of his hand,it was as though he had been crying, Rory thought. Putting the tray down on the desk. Handing one of the cups to John.

"..Thanks.."

.. " I guess that makes us even then?"

.."What does?" John was puzzled.

"Crying.." Rory said back.

"John I don't think any less of you because you get upset,I've cried lots myself,you saw that just before and since_"

.."Since all this started".. John finished. "Most of it caused by me.."

"..Stop it.." pausing. Then.

" John,crying is healthy, keeping things bottled up inside is not! Even grown men cry"

Rory picked up his own coffee cup,leaning on the edge of his desk facing his friend. He took a sip before putting it down turning to John said.

"..John,do you remember anything of what happened today? Before we were on the floor in the kitchen..?"..

"I remember getting up,taking...the kids to the park. Being in a good mood,though that could have been the pills?"

John looking at Rory over the coffee cup as he took a sip,his mouth was dry..

"You,Pond,something about a sandwich?"

Looking puzzled. "Then we were_"

John's face cleared all of a sudden. He stood up quickly.

"..Oh my God!"..

.."John what's wrong?" Rory wondered.

.."Rory. I kicked you!"..

"..yeah..so you did" Rory paused then,moving his trouser leg up. Showing him the bruise on his shin.

Not covering up what John did.

.."But I don't think you knew it was me,did you?"

John screwed up his face in concentration.

"No it was..it ..was him..Rory,I'm SO sorry that it was you..I didn't know it.. Oh shit!"

John was stumbling over his words. Getting more upset,pulling his hand through his fringe. Walking up and down.

"John,please be calm.. We can work this out"

John rounded on his friend.

"What if I don't want to work it out,Rory? I mean the more I do find,out hurts like crazy. I get so mad,upset..you're all caught up in it,especially you!"

Pointing to his friend.

"This is getting out of hand! I'm so fucked up!"

Rory shook his head.

"John I don't believe you would hurt any of us. When you.. " pausing.

.."Kicked me before,maybe it was a reaction,trying to stand up for yourself against his bullying ways?"

He said looking at John. Softly..

"So ..do you want to tell me about the soap?"

.."W-what..did you say?"..

He had stopped pacing,but had gone white,as he looked over to his friend.

John thought he was,going to pass out..was starting to get breathless. The room was blurring in front of him.

"John!"

Rory realising what was happening, hurried over to him quickly.

He hadn't passed out. Rory put his arm round him.

"John sit down,over here,that's right.." helping him sit on the sofa..

John was shaking,then he burst into tears.

" ..it's okay..look I'm sorry to push but if you don't remember or want to talk,I will leave it alone.."

"No-no R-Rory,it's when you said..said"

Rubbing away the tears with his hand.

"That word, I started to see in my mind,what he did to me..He..He.. I feel sick.."

John hand over his mouth,was up and out of the room heading for the downstairs cloak room. Rory following him.

John on his knees with his head in the toilet,throwing up the little he had eaten that day. Rory rubbed his back when he thought he'd finished.

Handling him a glass of water from the sink.

.."John..do you want to go back to the office? You don't have to talk,but you'll be more comfortable"

John nodded,and let Rory help him up from the floor. His legs did not feel as,though they would support him on his own,even for the short walk.

Once back in the office,John sat on the sofa,arms round himself just staring into space..

Rory thought he had pushed to far,and was thinking of going to phone for Dr Barclay,if only for advice for what to do because he wasn't sure as hell which way to go next.

When suddenly,as he picked up his mobile from his desk.

John said.

.."When he locked me in the cellar,I was there until the next day"

He was not looking at Rory,but at a spot in the distance.

Rory's hand put the phone back said.

.."John are you sure? You want to tell me this?"

He wanted John to open up,but a part of him was,worried about how,he had gone before. Would it happen again?

.."Rory,no matter how much it hurts,the pain won't go away unless I talk about it,right?"

"Dr Barclay seems to think that is what you should do. You remember now John?"

He said to him.

"It like pieces of a jigsaw that wouldn't fit before,because they were in the wrong place,do now through"

Turning to look at Rory..

"I want to tell you the rest of what happened that day,after I was locked in the cellar"..

Rory nodded,and sat down on a chair facing John while he talked..

Flashback..

John sat on the bottom step of the cellar,had managed to stop screaming after the spider had run under the steps away from him. He had the torch,but couldn't leave it on,because of the battery running out.

"John baby..hush now,don't cry that's my big boy.."

His Mothers voice still coming from the door above.

.."M-mummy- I-I want to-to come out,pl-ease?"

John still sobbing,slightly.

"I'm sorry sweetheart,you know I can't..not until Daddy comes back.."

John didn't ask again,but tucked his legs underneath and the blanket round him.

He sat in the middle of the step. Maybe the Spider had gone back to where it lived? The torch beam when he moved it round the room showed nothing. John turned it off again.

Time passed. John dozed. Tried to think of nice thing's.

The park,Amy even Rory pushing him off the swing was better than where he was now. John liked them both,though sensed that Rory didn't like him as much,but he was working on that.

Hours later:

There was a light coming on above him,and at the top of the stairs the door opened with a slight bang,making him jump.

.."Get up here,you little sod!"

John had blinked at the sudden light,because his legs and arms were stiff with sitting on the steps for hours nearly stumbled as he made his way to the top.

"Get a move on,I don't have all fucking day!"

"Yes..Daddy.."

John got to the top of the cellar stairs,his Daddy pointing to the upstairs..of the house.

"Upstairs! Your Mother will give you a bath.. "

The jeans and t shirt John was wearing was,covered in dirt from the cellar steps,as,was his hands and face.

"Twenty minutes and I want you back down here for breakfast"

When John looked at him..but didn't do as he said.

"Well move then!"

He started to walk towards,the stairs,but stopped when his Dad said.

.."John,I hope you have learnt your lesson? Do as your told and mind me,or you will get a such a hidding next time and I will lock you in there"

Pointing back to the cellar.

.." For a week..understand?"

.."Yes Sir"..

John went upstairs quickly,before he changed his mind and spanked him now,it wouldn't be the first time..he shivered.

After his Mum had given him a bath,she took him back downstairs. At the breakfast table sat facing his Dad, who was reading a newspaper.

She put a bowl of porridge in front of him. Picking up the spoon. Smiled at him.

"There you go,sweetheart"

"He can do that on his,own..he's not a baby!"

His Dad banged his fist on the table,making the plates and cups rattle,his wife and John jump.

John was feeling sick. The feeling had started while he was upstairs.

"Mummy..I don't want it I'm not hungry" he said quietly..

"You'll BLOODY eat that..or else..!

His Dad said warningly to him.

John picked up his spoon..he looked over at his Dad..

.."But I've got a tummy-ache.." he moaned.

"EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!"..

He thundered at John,starting to rise from his chair. John flinched,but put a spoonful of the porridge into his mouth. He swallowed it.

.."You will not leave this table until that plate is empty..understand?"

John nodded miserably. Put another spoonful into his mouth,and then threw up all over the table.

All hell broke loose..!

John was sobbing,his Dad was yelling..moving towards him.

.."The dirty little.."

His Mother,was stood in front of her husband trying to comfort John and protect him.

"Mike please,he couldn't help it..he's not well"

"Not well..I'll teach him a lesson!"

"Don't spank him..!"

Her husband went out of the room,and came back in with a bar of wet soap in his hand..

In fury going over to John grabbing his face in his hand. Forcing the soap into his mouth.

"No..Mike please..!"

His wife was trying to pull him away from John..

..who was crying then gagging on the horrible taste in his mouth..

"Dirty little boys get punished for spiting out food,by having their mouths washed out.. with soap"

"Mike please he's burning up.. we need to get the Doctor_"

Turning on his wife..

"NO..No Doctor! He ate rubbish with those kids,that's all. Put him to bed he'll be fine tomorrow"

Mike grabbed hold of her by the wrist. Putting his face close to hers..

"Now,I'm going to work,if I find out you called a Doctor,behind my back,it will be the worst for you when I get home tonight..understand?"..

He squeezed her wrist,his wife cried out in pain.

"Mike..I won't.."

"Good..." He pushed her away from him.

Picking up his briefcase, went out the door. The front door slammed.

She jumped.

"M -ummy.."

John was sat on the floor where Mike had left him after forcing the soap into his mouth.

" Oh baby I'm sorry,I'm sorry! ..Don't cry,it's okay.."

Going over to help him up

"It t-tastes yucky.."

John was trying to get the taste of the soap out of his mouth,with the flat of his hand..

.."I'm sorry bout the m-mess"..

"Oh sweetheart,don't you worry about that I will clean it up in a minute.."

Putting a hand on his head,John was still slightly warm.

"Do you want to be sick again?"

John shook his head. Then yawned.

"Tell you what..how about a nap?"

"Daddy might..hurt you.. I should stay down here with you?"

He had noticed her rubbing her wrist where her husband had grabbed it.

His Mother sighed.

"John your Daddy won't be back until five,think we're both safe until then"

She smiled at him..

Poor baby,trying to protect her.

'This is getting out of hand' She thought.

'What can I do,if I leave he will take John away from me'

"Come on sweetheart,let's get you cleaned up,put you too bed,I'll give you something to settle your tummy?" ..

He nodded and followed her as he was settled in bed,John was asleep. Exhausted after his night in the cellar.

His Mother sat stroking his head. Tears coming down her face.

Her husband was a bully,she was sorry she had ever met him,let alone married him.

The only good thing to come out of this was John.

Though he wasn't her child was he? That was her husband as well. Bullying her sister to give him up..her poor Mary who had lost her husband in a car crash before John was born.

She tried to stand up to him,had also tried to leave him a,year ago though that fell through because Mike threatened to take John away then. She didn't know what else to do. Something had to be done and soon.

Locking a three year old child in a cellar,for twelve hours! All because he wanted play with his friends,where was the harm in that? Rory Williams and Amy Pond were two of the nicest children in the village,John would come to no harm with them,but her husband thought they were a bad influence for some reason.

Rory's Dad was nice too,he had lost his wife six months before. She had talked to him once or twice at the school gates.

Not daring to tell him to much about their home life,because of what Mike would do if strangers or God forbid,social services got involved. Looking at John,now thought maybe it was time to say something,she had him to think of.

She also knew why Mike didn't want a Doctor called,for anyone to see the bruises on John. It probably was only a tummy upset,today. Tomorrow it could be more serious.

Covering up John,she went back downstairs to clean up the mess.

Present Time

John had stopped talking and was staring at a spot in the distance again. Rory took his hand and squeezed it.

His friend looked back at him with red eyes.

"John..I'm so sorry I didn't._if only we had known_ perhaps,Amy and me could have_"

Rory was trying to put his thoughts into words ..

John raised his,eyebrows. Shaking his head.

" Oh no. Rory,I've never blamed you or Pond for any of this.I was just grateful that you were both there..later for me"

". . But,I was so jealous..horrible to you.."

Rory said.

"..And you more than made up for that,I told you.

The life I had with you both..Dad, I wouldn't change for anything"

"John,what he did too you..the soap.."

John's face darken.

"I'm sorry,if you don't want to talk about this any more,today.."

Rory replied. Tightening his grip on John's hand..

"I don't,but I will. Rory this was about a month before they were " he paused.

"..Killed. He didn't get chance to lock me in that cellar again,but the soap..that happened another couple of times,when..when he took m-me to the flat"..

John was stammering over his,words as he was telling Rory this,but went on.

"I think you were right about when I kicked you,before.I was trying to stand up to him..the only time I did,because he was hurting,her.."

"You mean,your Mum?"

John nodded then said..with a slight laugh. Shaking his head.

"Dr Barclay is going to have a fine time sorting out my nut job life..my Mum..Aunt..whoever she really was. I regret not being able to stop him hurting her"

Looking over at Rory..

"It was though he got pleasure out of that..I tried..to..to..stop-hhim hurting her ..I-I did. "

John was getting upset..

"R-Rory,he just laughed at m-me for daring to even stand up to hi-m"

John sniffed,wiped his eyes.

"I got a spanking and the soap for that.."

"John,you were three years old. He was bigger than you.. stronger. None of this,was your fault!"..

Rory,turning his friend to him to look him in the eyes.

.."What about when he tried..pull my pants down? He-he-did ..didn't he..it was only because he was drunk.I got away, didn't manage to- to..he could have_ would have..Oh God..Rory, did try to molest me-e"

John collapsed then against his friend,bursting into floods of tears!

"NO..NO!"

John was howling with the distress of it all.. was at last admiting it had happened.

'It had not gone as far as they thought..but maybe getting John to say it was,a step in the right direction' Rory thought.

Rory with his arms round his friend was trying to comfort him..

.."John come on its okay...hush now..."

"It n-never will be -be okay..how can it be.."

"Yes it will,you have to try and put this behind you.."

Rory was still holding him,as John went to interrupt him..but he carried on telling him..

"I'm not saying it will be easy,and think if I was in your shoes,I would find it hard as well"

Rory wiping John's eyes,trying to calm him down.

"John if you let this,stop you from getting on with your life...and though he's,not here any more. You're letting him win! I know your better than that. The John Smith I've known for the last thirty years,is a strong person..right?"

.."Is he?"..

"Yes,he BLOODY well is!" Rory replied then.

"I know you have had one or two set backs.."

John looking at his friend. Knew he meant Sue and Jack.

"Perhaps I try to hard to have what you and Amy have.."

.."John,mate"..

..Rory pulling his hand through his fringe with frustration at his friend.

"Amy and me we don't have everything..but have to get on with what we do have in life.

The baby situation still..hurts and if it happens,for us it happens if not,we still have,Tom. If anything,that was because of you.."

"Me?"..

"Yes,you,that day in the park..how you sorted out the bullying.I wouldn't have done what you did,not then. My mind was still on what happened with Amy,but in your own unique way,you made me except the miscarriage,talk about it" Pausing.

"There's Clara. Are you going to abandon her,leave her on her own with three kids?"

"Of course,I'm fucking not!"

John looked at him indignantly. As though too say..'What do you take me for!?'

"Well,there you go then,there's your family,your life..it's up to you what..you make of it"

Taping John on the chest.

He looked at his friend, thinking about things. John would still need to discuss this with the Doctor on his next visit,but hopefully had taken to heart what had come out today.

Rory made a mental note to ring Dr Barclay later,to keep him up to date..but meanwhile..

"Speaking of Clara.. John,do you still want to take her clothes shopping?"

"God,yes...What time is it? She must think I've forgotten.."

"It's alright, I rang Auntie earlier,told her what had happened yesterday,she's bringing Clara to meet us at the shopping centre at four,it's only two now"

Rory looked at his watch..They had been talking for two hours..

"Tell you what,I'm starving. How about I see if Amy will make us a sandwich and coffee before we go?"

He was watching John's face,they both knew that maybe it was the soap,he associated with food and being ..sick..

"..Yes,okay..I'm a little hungry.. "John admitted.

His friend getting up, walked to the door.

"..Rory.. thank you.."

Rory came back over to John and hugged him.

.."You are quite welcome,mate"

With a final pat on the back,and a..

.."Won't be long"..

Went out the door.

Amy was sat at the table,she shot up when Rory came out Into the kitchen.

"Rory..! is John okay? I heard shouting when I came down half an hour ago. I didn't come in because I thought you would call me if there was a real problem?"

Rory sat down at the table,rubbing at his face with his hand. Sighing. Looking back up at her then..

"Amy, I think ..we have turned a corner"

"Oh,in what way? " his wife said.

"I will tell later,as there is a lot we didn't know,then that as come out in the last few hours..Could you make John and me something to eat?"

"Will Raggedy Man eat now?" Amy thinking of earlier..

"I think so. Don't think there will be any more flying sandwiches today"

Rory said smiling,telling her he was taking John to meet Clara,and Auntie at the shopping centre in an hour.

" Where are Daisy and Tom?" He asked then.

"Upstairs,playing. It's.. raining"

Rory had been so busy with John,he hadn't noticed the weather had changed.

Amy nodding toward the window,as she got things,out the fridge to make sandwiches.

"Ah,I would take them with me,but I need to talk to Auntie,and I think John might want to tell Clara some of what as come out.. today"

He paused then.

"Amy..we will talk,John as told me more of what happened with his Dad.. and.."

"And..I'm not going too like it..am I?"

She said,putting a plate of sandwiches on the table in front of Rory.

"No..but it as happened and it can't be changed,if John wants to,he will tell you himself,but.."

"Rory,I won't push.." Amy said.

The door opened to the office and John came into the kitchen.

He went straight over to Amy,putting his,arms round her.

"..John?"

"Amy,I.." then he burst into tears..putting his head on her shoulder.

"Thank you..P-ond. for everything. For being t-there,when I-I needed y-you"

Amy looked at Rory.

"John..Raggedy Man" Amy was hugging him.

Drying his eyes.

"You are very welcome. It was a pleasure to do it. Most of the time,you did as you were told,unlike someone not a million miles,from here.

"I'm still here you know.." Rory grinned.

Standing behind his wife and best friend.

John turned putting his arms around the two of them.

.."Yes,I know.I hope you always will be..thank you both.."

Rory broke away first..

"Well I think that goes without saying,mate..come on let's have these sandwiches before we go?"

John picked up one of the sandwiches as he went to sit down at the table.

Winking at Rory as he sat as well.

Amy had turned round to get the coffee she's had made,but caught the look between the two men.

'Oh-oh it's wind up Amy time' She thought.'Not today you don't'

Putting the coffee on the table,said..

.."Yes,Raggedy Man..I made them it's ham,and even I can make a,sandwich..without burning the kitchen down"

She kissed him on the head. Then she put her hand in his inside jacket pocket.

"Sandwich first..then you can these..extracting a packet of Jammy Dodgers.

"But..Pond!"

John said trying to grab the biscuits back from her.

Amy stood with the packet,held away from her.

Pointing a finger to the table,in a tone that booked no nonsense..

.."Sandwich"..

"Oh,alright.." John said. "One.."

.."Two"..Amy said back to him.

Rory sat with his arms folded looking between his wife and friend.

'Yes, maybe Amy could get John to start eating again?' He thought.'

There was no way they were out of the woods with his problems. Admitting it was one thing. John coming to terms with it was another entirely.

.."Rory..Rory..mate!?..

John was waving his hand near his face.

" 'whats the matter?"

Rory had switched off into his thoughts,so hadn't heard John asking him a question"

.."Tell Pond to give me the biscuits back..I've eaten two" he said.

"Two what?"

"Sandwiches,Rory..are you okay?"

Rory shook,himself.

"Yeah..I'm fine..eat another one,John,you can't live on biscuits all the time"

John gave him a look.

"You have got to try to eat proper food not junk all the time"

"I want Jammy Dodgers" John said in a sulk.

He didn't seem as through he was turning back into Johnnie. Though from what Rory remembered,a teenage John could sulk for England if he didn't get his own way over something.

"John,you have to try. Look,if Daisy wanted biscuits all they time,what would you as her Father think about that?"

John looked at Rory.

" I would think"..he said slowly..There was something wrong,that she was sick"

"Right" Rory returned.

" We know why you have this.. problem with..food,but you can beat it,by that I mean proper meals"

John had gone wide eyed in panic. Rory smiled and put his hand on his friends arm.

"Don't worry. Not big steak dinners or overfacing you with large portions..kid sizes if you like. whatever your having with Clara and Auntie,or here,with us"

"I..don't have to eat it all?" John said to him.

"As long as you try.

Tell you what,for today..comprise..one more sandwich..two biscuits..deal?"

John looked over at his friend. Sounding irritated.

"Who put you in charge of me, Rory Williams?" God you're a bossy so an so!"

Then he grinned..

"Okay .I will try,I promise..I want to get well..get the me back.."

"And you will. Come on eat up,we'll have to be going soon,Clara,will be itching to use your credit card,and if she's like a certain person not a million miles away..you could be in and out the shops.."

Amy who was putting plates,in the dish washer while Rory had been talking to John, said.

"Oi I heard that,stupid face..it's not worth going shopping if you buy the first thing you see!"

"Don't I know it.." Rory said under his breath.

"What was that!?"

"Nothing.."

John grinned again.

'Yes,it was at times like this,life was wonderful and he was looking forward,to seeing Clara in a while. He missed her.

John picked up another sandwich.

NEXT CHAPTER

John takes Clara shopping.

Rory tells his Aunt about John's problems.

Will John be able to tell Clara what happened to him.

Please read and review.

Thanks.


	77. Chapter 77

Return to Love

Chapter 77

At 3pm it was time for Rory to take John to meet Clara and Auntie. For the last half hour,he had been upstairs reading a story to Daisy and Tom.

Putting his head round the door of Tom's bedroom,he said to his friend..

"John,it's time to go.."

Rory wasn't sure who looked the most disappointed. Tom,Daisy or John himself.

"Please,John,don't go"

Daisy was getting tearful. Pleading with him.

John sat with her on his knee,put his head on top of hers.

"I have to Sweetheart,I've got to take Mummy to buy some new clothes"

"Uncle John you will be coming back?"..

Tom asked, sat on the bed John his arm round him. The book forgotten on the floor.

"Of course I will,mate in three days..that's not long is it?"

Daisy still looked upset.

"Daisy,love,you have been such a good girl,what's three days? Then all of us will be here together for two whole weeks,won't that be good?"

Daisy still didn't look so sure..

John looked over at Rory.

"How would you both like to go on a trip next week?"

"Where?" Tom asked.

"Leadworth"

"Where you lived with Uncle Rory and his Daddy?" Daisy asked.

"Yes that's right"

Rory looked over at his friend.

He didn't know John had told Daisy about where he grew up.

"You will like it, there's a park and you can also meet Rory's Granny"

Pulling Daisy closer to him again.

"If you ask him nicely he might let you share her like I do.

Then you'll have two,a Nanny and a Granny.."

He paused then.

"What do you say?"

Looking over at Rory. The question was also for him. He was picking up the book from the floor,looked at the three sat on the bed.

.."I think she would like that very much,in fact Daisy,I told her and my Dad all about you and Tom. They are very much looking forward to meeting you both"

.."Oh,okay" from Daisy.

"Me too?" Tom said.

"Yes..you too" Rory said,ruffling his hair.

"Now I've really got to steal Uncle John away. I think Auntie Amy is,waiting downstairs,something about baking biscuits?"..

.."Cool, Come on Daisy.." Tom was up and out the door.

Rory smiled..You only had to mention food to Tom!

Daisy getting off John's knee,with a look back to him.

He smiled at her.

"See you soon,sweetheart..go on or Tom will bake and eat them all before you get there. See you on Friday"

Daisy came back then,putting her arms round him.

"I love you"..

"I love you to"

With a final kiss on the head,pushed her towards the door.

"Now go"..

After Daisy had gone.

.."Rory?".. Not looking at his friend.

"Yes?"

.."If Will takes her away.."

"John it's not going to happen,I will make sure of that.."

"But" ..

"Not going to happen"' he repeated.

"Sorry,mate we are going to have to leave now"

John got off the bed.

Following Rory downstairs...Amy was,stood in the hall. John could hear the two children giggling in the kitchen. Seeing him look towards the door.

"She will be alright,Raggedy Man.." hugging him to her. Kissed his cheek.

"And I will see you Friday..okay?"..

"Thanks Pond" his arms round her.

"Sorry to have been so much trouble"

"Oh you're never that. Love to Clara and Auntie"

John nodded,heading for the door.

"See you later,Amy.." Rory kissed her following John out.

They both got into the car. John was as quiet as he had been when they came home last night.

Rory said,as he started the car.

"John are you okay?"

John shrugged his shoulders,then turning to reply to Rory.

.."I've got to be,for my sanity haven't I?" He sounded bitter..Rory didn't blame him,but..

"How do you feel about telling Clara..your..Mum,what happened to you,John?"

"Not going to.." John said.

.."Your not?"

When his friend gave him a puzzled look,

"What I mean is,I will talk to them,but at home,not in the middle of a busy shopping centre,right?"

"That's fair enough,though you do know I told them both some of what happened to you yesterday?"

Rory pulling onto the car park at the shopping centre. There was no sign of Auntie's car yet,but they had further to come.

"Yes,I expected it," John sighed.

"But I should tell them the rest right?"

"If you can,Dr Barclay thinks you should. I know it hurts..John,but the extra pill you're,on should help"

Pausing then.

"John will you promise me something?"

"If I can"..

"If you get upset,can't cope..you will phone me?"

"Rory,you can't keep rushing_"

His friend interrupted him.

..To your rescue? Yes,I can if you need me. I also want you take a pill to sleep tonight,I don't want you pacing round the hotel all night..it's not fair on Clara,or your Mum John "

Looking at his friend.

"Will you,do that?" He asked.

"Okay,I promise,besides I need to sleep,have to take Clara too see the Nurse at the surgery tomorrow"

" Good" He patted John's hand.

"Rory are you busy tomorrow afternoon? Maybe you have work to catch up on..I have kept you busy the last few days..you might_"

John was rambling as usual,especially when he was trying to explain. Rory hid a smile.

"John,John. it's fine" patting his hand again.

"My works up to date for the next two weeks. What is it you want me to do?"

John smiled. Not knowing how his friend did it. Cope with him,his work and family life.

"It's just Detective Baker is coming at two to tell me about the trunks. I can cope with it on my own,but"

He said in case,Rory thought he couldn't.

"I expect you can,as I was there. I would like to,find out the end of it. Tell Auntie I'll come for lunch about twelve"

John pulled a slight face. Knew that he would be also using this visit as an excuse to see he was eating. Letting it go,because he knew he'd have to try.

It went quiet then,both of the men looking out of the window for Clara and Auntie.

"I didn't know you had told Daisy about Leadworth. your childhood?" Rory said suddenly.

"I told her when I first met Clara. Only,the part about growing up with you and Amy,living with Dad"

John paused .Still looking out the window.

"I didn't really know about what he did to me before" Shaking his head.

"Not that I would have told her if I did,don't think I ever will"

Looked back over at Rory.

"It was alright to tell the kids we would go to see Dad and Granny next week? I would like them to meet Clara and Daisy,before the wedding"

"Of course,I had planned on it"

Rory said. "John I have mentioned to Dad,about your,problems"

John turned to his friend,arms folded,sulky look to his face.

"And I bet he thought I was a right head case. Did he tell Granny,the rest of the village?"

"Of course,not,John,don't be silly! You know he wouldn't do that Dad brought you up for God's sake! He's family.I mean he sat with you when you were having the nightmares,like I am now!"

Rory was getting annoyed with him,John feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry.I didn't mean that,it's just the less people who know the better"

"John,I didn't think you would mind. I should have asked you first,but I did tell him not to tell Granny"

John sighed.

"I don't mind Dad knowing,really. It's just when I moved to London to work with you,then met Sue. Even though I didn't know what was wrong,at first thought my life was back on track,but it wasn't"

"It is now. You have Clara,Daisy,the twins coming. Everyone is glad for you,right?"

Rory was relieved to see Auntie's car coming on to the car park. John was going to get depressed if he didn't watch him. He seemed to be hard to convince at times,why he should be happy!

"Here they are now" he said.

They got out of the car,to meet the two women.

Half an hour later in the cafe:

Auntie was sat at one of the tables with Rory. John had taken Clara to look in the shops for maternity wear. They had both decided on a second cup of coffee while Rory was telling her more about John's problems from last night.

She touched his face.

"Rory you look really tired,are you sure you can carry on with this?"

"Who else as he got,Auntie? Oh I know he's got you and Clara,but she doesn't need him playing her up if he won't sleep,nor do you_"

When she went to interrupt him.

Rory had given her the sedative,with instructions to give it to John if he wouldn't settle later.

"If he won't take it,or plays up,ring me"

He said then.

"Sweetheart,you can't keep dashing here if he won't do_" She started to say.

"I don't think I will have to,the threat of me being cross with him should be enough" Rory said quickly.

" Maybe John will sleep,tonight. He is always a little unsettled when we've,seen the Doctor"

Rory had also told her what had come out about the soap and why he thought this,was to do with John's phobia with food.

Auntie had been angry and upset,mostly blaming herself for the problem.

"Auntie,I told you,none of this is your fault.I am going too ring Dr Barclay later to discuss what John told me. Least we'll be up to speed when he sees John next week"

.."But to get a child to eat soap lock him in the cellar! John never told me any of this,he always was a timid child,quiet. I just thought he would grow out of it as he got older."

She was shaking her head.

"Oh God. Why didn't I see what was going on Rory? What was staring me in the face?"

"Because it wasn't that simple. Perhaps,young as John was,he was in denial about it happening to him, that it all would go away.

This is,why it's coming out now?"

Putting his hand on Auntie's.

"Harsh as it is,he needs to know,so do we"

Sitting back.

"There is also another problem"

When she looked at him in panic.

"Oh don't worry,it's nothing to do with John's health. It's Will,his wife.. Marie"

Telling her then how she was having sessions with Dr Barclay as well.

"Do you think that's why she tried to take Daisy away the other day?" Auntie asked then.

"Maybe. John will tell you all this later,but we're not going to tell Clara until Friday like we agreed. She sees the Nurse tomorrow,right and I know John is worried about her blood pressure"

Auntie nodded,saying.

"And a,worried John is,a panicking John"

Rory,pulling at his fringe.

"She will have to know before Monday" Rory said.

"We're seeing Will in my office at eleven"

Looking over then, Clara was coming towards them followed by John who was loaded down with shopping bags. They were having an argument.

'Oh now what!' Rory thought.

Less than two hours and don't say he was winding Clara up already?

"I said no,John!" She was saying."I want nice muted colours. Lemon and cream.."

"But. Clara it would look great! One wall then?"

Rory had got up to meet them,and to take some of the bags from John.

" Its a nursery,not a mural in the park!"

"What's the matter,guys?"

Looking from Clara to John and back catching the end of the conversation,so not entirely following it.

"John wants".. pausing.

_"Purple for the nursery walls,babies need soothing colors,tell him! Rory"

"Ah, I see" Was all he said.

By now he had sat Clara down with Auntie. John was at the other end of their table.

"Purple John? I thought you had outgrown that?"

"I like purple!"

John said then,arms folded in a strop.

"Don't we know,it."

Rory said under his breath,remembering John's teenage purple faze.

T shirts,coats, socks,not to mention,some of his bedroom walls! Rory shuddered.

" Sorry mate,but Clara's right,if you want the twins to sleep"

Noticing,John's face.

"Look" Rory said to him.

"You were thinking of an office upstairs for yourself?"

John nodded.

"Well then how about a purple wall in there? Perhaps just the one ? Set the room off?"

Rory stating the word 'One'

Thinking if he painted the whole room,no one would want to go in there. Only John.

"Yeah. I think that would work"

John smiling,thinking about it.

"Thanks." Clara mouthed to him. Knowing he could talk John round if anyone could.

John got up from his chair.

"Where are you going,John?"

"Bloody hell,Rory.I'm only going to the bathroom,do you want to come and help me do it!?"

He said sarcastically.

"John Smith.I'm ashamed of you" His Mum replied.

"Rory was only asking there was no need for that!"

John red in the face from the telling off. Turning to his friend.

"I'm sorry,Rory,I didn't mean that the way it came out"

Rubbing his face.

_"Its just..I'm only going to spend a penny,you're treating me as thought I'm going to do a bunk!

Look,I am not going to take pills behind your backs.I've had the extra one,which I took in front of Amy this morning"

" Yes I know"

Rory nodded. They had to trust him,it was sometimes,he was afraid John would disappear again.

"John," he smiled.

"It's fine,well go on then if your going. I will order some sandwiches for us?"

Picking up the menu card from the table..

"I'm starving..need something,before I drive back. Ham or cheese,John?"

Looking back before he walked away..

"Cheese will be fine,won't be long"

Watching John walk towards the rest rooms,Rory let go of the breath he was holding.. Tried not to get up from his seat to follow him. After the door closed behind John,he got up then turning to the two women.

"I'll just go and order this,anything for you two?

Clara said "I could murder a cup of tea,I will have a ham sandwich as,well thanks Rory"

"Auntie?"

"I'm not really hungry,but if it encourages John to eat_?"

"You don't have to..John as got to try and learn to manage this food phobia, himself"

Clara looked from one to the other.

_"What's going on?"

Rory looking towards the restroom.

There was no sign of John.

Looking back to Clara.

"We think John as a problem with food,because_"

Then he began to tell her_When he finished._

"Oh my God..how could he do that_that to a child! THE BASTARD!"

Clara,with a hand to her mouth going bright red,then she burst into tears,realising what she'd said.

'Oh shit!' Rory thought with his arms round her trying to comfort her.

'This gets better and better'

"Clara,try and calm down honey. John will be_"

"I kknow,I'm Ssorry,trying to sstop,need the ladies don't wwant him to see mme like this"

Auntie got up then.

"I'll take her,Rory you go and order,John should be back then?"

Helping Clara to her feet. They went across to the ladies.

The door closed behind them.

Rory ordered sandwiches and coffee, tea,for Clara.

As an afterthought,added some biscuits for Auntie.

Going back to their table,looked at his watch.

What the hell was John doing in there? He'd been over twenty minutes..

'Well,best check,even if he takes the hump"

Going over to the rest room,Rory went in.

It was a medium sized room with three cubicles and sinks. There was also a bench in the middle,on which John was sat,hands on his knees,head down.

Because he had his back to the door,John didn't hear him come in.

"John?" Rory said. "Are you okay?"

"This is getting to be a habit_Rory"

"What is,Mate?"

"You having to come and look for me" John sounded irritable.

"It has been twenty minutes,John,but I do need to go myself"

Rory went into one of the cubicles.

He came out again,John was still sat in the same place. He washed his hands,looking at the back of John's head in the mirror.

"Rory?"_

"Yes_"

"Why am I so afraid of a cheese sandwich? I keep saying it's not soap.

I'lll not be sick. It isn't helping though"

He sighed. Looked up, shaking his head.

"I'm going to die"

Rory's heart plummeted at that sentence.

"Of course your not going to die,why would you,say that?"

Rory turning round,went and sat next to John on the bench.

"John talk to me!" When his friend didn't answer. Rory touched him,on the arm.

"John!" As his friend flinched away from him.

"Hey. I'm not going to hurt you? You know it's me right?"

Rory had put his hands up away from him.

John breathing out slowly.

"_Yes.I know its you,but for a second there_"

He said _"I thought it was_"

John rubbed at his face,then looked at him.

"Just tiredness,I think?

You see things when your tired,right? Your mind plays tricks?"

With a look to Rory that said.

'Please tell me what I want to hear'

"Maybe?" Rory said.

"John _you..would tell me if the voice was back? Is it?"

John laughed.

"Course it's not!" He didn't look convinced.

"Rory_I I-just need to sleep.

When are we going home?"

"I'm trying not to nag,John..I think you should try to eat something first"

Rory said to his friend.

"Is it the cheese sandwich,perhaps the look of it reminds,you of the soap?"

"I'm_I'm not sure_It's not only that_" John said then.

"Sometimes_most of the time I think I've been able to kid myself,it's only food.

My body needs it to stay alive"

John had got up from the bench.

Walked over to the sink. Hands on it,looking at Rory through the mirror.

"The last couple of weeks it has been harder to convince myself of it.

This is why I'm going to die!.

The way I'm going its only a matter of time before I won't eat anything at all_"

Rory had been quiet while John was telling him all this. Then.

_"Like hell! John!_" he exploded.

"You are not going to fucking die! I won't allow it!"

"But_"

Rory shot up going over to his friend,turning him around to face him.

"I said NO,John! Do you want to end up in hospital_do you!?"

"Ow! Rory!_ BLOODY Hell!"

Rory in his frustration,was holding onto John in a vice like grip. Shaking him.

Then seeing his shocked face,realising what he was doing and let him go.

"Oh God! John,I'm so sorry_ I didn't mean that_I shouldn't have done_"

He moved back over to the bench sat down,then burst into tears.

'Oh God..Oh God!' John thought.

'I'm driving my best friend to a breakdown'

"Rory don't_" He said. Sitting down next to him.

Trying to put his arm round Rory's shoulder. He shook him off. Shaking his head,drying his eyes with the back of his hand.

"JJohn,I'm sso ssorry you must hate me_"

Looking at him in anguish.

"_Rory of course I don't. You have been a rock! I couldn't have got this far without you!"

"But to go for you like that,like he did to hurt you. Did I?" He asked.

"Of course you didn't"

Rory's face crumpled again.

"Oh God,what kind of person I'm I!?"

" Mate,you're a good person,course you are. If anything,this is my fault I made you flip"

John paused then,as Rory started to get up to protest.

"No_you didn't_"

Pushed him back down on the bench.

"Yes,Rory this time it is,I pushed you to far! It's a wonder you hadn't gone for me weeks ago_"The way I've been behaving!"

John looked over at his friend.

"I needed a good kick up the backside,and I got that. Talking about dying, of course I'm not! How stupid am I? Rory,I hope you can forgive me?"

"John_I think you have got that the,wrong way round"

Rory started to say to him." I shouldn't have gone for you like that_"

"You have done nothing for me to forgive you for,Rory_" John said.

"_In fact,if any time you want to,punch my lights out_you go for it!_"

"JOHN!"_

Rory was scandalised. Putting hands over his face.

"Rory,are you okay?"

His shoulders were shaking so much,John thought his friend was still upset with him.

"Mate,talk to me please_Rory_Rory?"

Pulling his hands away from Rory's face. Who then grinned at him,collapsing with uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh_Oh God! No. SStop in a minute,

Oh,my sides hurt!"

"Rory_?"

_ John was looking confused,thinking he had drove him further towards a breakdown.

"John _John I'm okay_"

Rory put his hand on top of his friends.

"Really_Only you could invite me to smack you one!"

Paused then,looking at him.

"Not that I'm intending to. I suppose I could always get Clara to do it?"

He said tongue in cheek.

John grinned back at him,rubbed at his face.

"Yes,well, she does have a terrific right hook!"

Being on the receiving end of two or three since he'd known her,which he rightly deserved.

"Though seriously John,how do you feel now? About the food situation? I won't force you if you don't want to eat"

Rory finished.

"No_No I will try" John pushing fringe out of his eyes.

"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to choose a cheese sandwich,but.."

"Okay John,small baby steps then? I mean you ate the ham sandwiches Amy made before?

Maybe it is certain foods remind you? Look if we avoid the things that do?"

Rory said to him.

"But at the same time,I don't want you surviving on sandwiches and biscuits,if there is something you don't like tell us,okay John?"

John nodded..

"Definitely not porridge!"

He shuddered.

_"Okay"_

Rory said, remembering what John had told him earlier.

"You know,I made Daisy some a while back,the smell..was making me feel queasy,didn't understand why. I do now"

John said.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

John looked to Rory. He looked back at him puzzled,but got up to open it.

Clara was stood outside.

"Rory,you are in there. Is John with you?"

"Ah,Clara. Yes he is.."

John appeared behind him.

"We came back from the ladies half an hour ago,the waitress who brought the sandwiches and drinks said you went in here then?"

"I did,yes.."

Looking over his shoulder at his friend.

"So that means John's been in here nearly an hour?"

She paused folding her arms..

"Why?"

"Clara,I'm sorry,we were,talking and forgot the time" John said.

"You know what it's like?

He started to say.

"You and Amy can_ talk just as 'much if_"

Clara gave him a look. Eye brows raised.

"Do you want to come in here. I'll explain_?"

"The Men's room! I don't think so John..! Look Mum and me have kept your sandwiches if you still want them,but you will have to order fresh coffee, the last went cold"

She looked between the two men shook her head.

"Honestly,you two pick some funny places to have a chat. Five minutes. I'll order you both a coffee. Hurry up!"

"Yes Clara"

Rory said. He shut the door,as she walked back to the table to where John's Mum was sat.

"Bossy isn't she?" John said with a grin.

"Just a bit" Rory said back.

"Still,she is exactly what you need John right?"

"Oh yes,which is why I don't want to lose her _or Daisy" John added.

" I told you before,that is not going to happen"

Rory put a hand on John's shoulder.

"Come on we'd better go and eat before Clara sends in a search party. Ready mate?"

"Yeah,look Rory,I'm sorry about upsetting you before.

It's just I went into a panic, then got depressed_"

John pushing his fringe back out of his eyes,again.

"It's okay John,look let's agree to differ? If I keep apologising to you_you to me we'll be in here,until the shopping centre shuts. Come on!"

Pushing his friend towards the door.

"By the way John,you need a haircut. The way its,been getting in your face lately"

John stopped turning back to his friend.

"I was going for the hippy look for the wedding, I thought maybe tie it back in a pony tail_ What do you think?"

The look Rory gave him as though to say.

'You are kidding me'

He was never sure with John sometimes.

"I for one am not standing next to you in the church like that!

The vicar will think you're the bride,you me and Tom,barbers,next week"

"Oh alright" John said.

They headed back out into the cafe.

Meanwhile

Clara,had walked back over to the table.

"Well?" Mary said to her.

"Yes,their both in there" Clara said to her.

"John was making jokes,which usually means something has happened and Rory had to sort it,again"

"Do you think he's alright?" Mary said then anxiously

"Mum,we both know John by now after these last few weeks" Clara said.

"I know it's going to still take time and lots of patience. It's not going to be an overnight miracle"

Clara went over to the counter.

" Could I have coffee for two please"

She asked the waitress.

_"Mum do you want anything?"

Mary shook her head.

"No,I'm fine"_

Clara went and sat back down with Mary. She touched her hand.

"Clara,are you okay,sweetheart? I'm sorry about Mike did to John. I hope this won't stop me rebuilding my relationship with him"

"Mum,I know John doesn't blame you for any of this,he understands you were a victim too,I needed to know as well. We are going to be a couple"

Clara squeezed her hand back.

"Apart from John. There was my sister,what he did to her"

She shook her head,they had been discussing what Rory had told her before.

It was then they had realised both the men were missing!

Clara asked the waitress,who had told her she had seen Rory disappear in to the Mens room half an hour before.

"I didn't know. She covered it up,what was going on. I think she was trying to keep things normal for John"

Pausing then,

" Rory told me he witnessed all of it,because he was only three blocked it out until recently"

"Mum. I think John still has a lot to talk about to Dr Barclay,he will get there. I was upset before because of what he did to him in that cellar and the soap,was a disgusting thing to do to a chiId.

I knew something had gone on,like you,but it was Rory telling us that shocked me,made it real. I don't want John seeing me upset though, he has enough to cope,with in the next month"

"Clara I_" Mary stopped.

The door to the rest room opened,and the two men came back over to their table. John was in front.

"There you both are!"_ Mary said.

"I'm sorry,Mum"

He said putting his arms round her.

Rory behind him mouthed.

'He's okay,later'

Mary nodded at him over John's head. Knew then,it was as Clara had said. Something had happened. Maybe another panic attack? She made a mental note to phone Rory when they got back,or perhaps he would phone her?

"Sweetheart,why don't you sit down? Have something to eat?" She suggested.

Patting John's pale face.

The coffee arrived. Rory sat down,taking the film covers from the two plates of sandwiches.

_"Great,I'm starving. John mate,do you mind if we swop and I have the cheese? I'm sick of ham_"

The other plate of sandwiches,he put in front of his friend. John had sat down as well.

"_If,you like"_

He didn't look up,or say anything else. Knew why Rory was doing this, but was to exhausted to argue.

There was,only three small sandwiches on the plate. John could have cried he was so tired,didn't really want to eat. For all he had played him up today,Rory was helping him still.

Rory had started to eat. Clara,poured the coffee.

"Thanks" Rory smiled at her.

John picked up one of the sandwiches bit into it. Chewed then swallowed.

The others trying not to watch,were talking to each other.

"John told me Detective Baker is coming to explain tomorrow about the trunks,Auntie. Thought I would like to be there if that's okay with you?"

Rory was saying.

"That's alright dear. John and Clara,have to go to the surgery in the morning,but should be back well before that. You will stay for lunch?"

"Of course" Rory was looking over at John. He had picked up another sandwich,but was just staring at it in his hand.

"John,are you okay?" He said.

_"Wwhat?" John looked up at him. Then.

"No_"

Shaking his head. John put the sandwich back onto the plate pushed it away from him.

"I'm sorry,Rory_ I really don't think I can,not today"

John turned to Mary.

"_Mum"

"Yes John?"_

"Could we go home now. Please? I promise, I'll try to eat tomorrow" He rubbed at his face.

"I really need to go to bed,now"

John was looking so exhausted. Mary's heart went out to him.

"I'm sorry about not finishing the sandwiches,but"_ John started to say to Rory again.

"John,it's alright. You tried,that's all we ask"

'Least he didn't throw it or have a tantrum' he thought. Though he looked to tired for either.

Rory touched his hand.

"We'll try again tomorrow,you need rest now.

I think it will be better in the morning"

Rory stood up. Started,to gather some of the carrier bags from under the table.

"I'll help you take these to the car"

John nodded,stood up.

It was as though he was moving through treacle. Everything was alright,until he bent down to pick up the rest of the carrier bags. Then he went dizzy. John grabbed hold of the table to stop himself from falling.

_"Woe"

"John,sweetheart!"

Clara who was,stood next to him cried out,as carrier bags scattered everywhere.

Rory putting the bags down,hurried back over to the couple. John eyes closed was gripping the table for dear life! His knuckles white. Face even whiter.

Rory looked at Clara,who was trying not to panic.

"John,John,come on.."

Rory's voice seemed to be coming from a distance. John was to frightened to open his eyes.

Thought he was going to be sick,if he did!

"Mate. It's okay. I've got you_sit back. John let go of the table_!"

Rory was trying to ease his friend back on to a chair behind him,but couldn't get John to let go of the table.

"John,for fucks sake! Let go!"

Rory with his arm round John could feel him shaking, getting breathless. Which was a sure sign he was going into a panic attack.

Mary came over then,because Clara was getting upset.

She parmed her hand on his face.

"John,sweetheart. Open your eyes for me that's a good boy. Come on,breath_"

John's eyes opened at the sound of her voice.

"M_Mum,I_I"

He was,still slightly breathless.

"f _frightened"

"It's alright,baby,nothing is going to happen,I _we"

Pointing to Rory and herself.

_"Won't let it_ look,let Rory help you sit down,okay?"

John nodded, let go of the table. Rory moved him back to the chair.

"That's it. Well done,mate"

Rory patted him on the shoulder,went to move away.

"_No_no..ddont go..Pplease" Grabbing for Rory's hand.

"Hey,John it's okay,you don't want to sit looking at my ugly mug!"

Still holding on to John's hand,he put his other hand out to Clara.

"Here's something better for you to look at,lot prettier as well"

Rory said making Clara smile. She sat down next to John,took his hand in hers.

"Sweetheart it's okay I'm here"

John trying to get his breathing under control said.

"C_clara..sorry..ttired"

"John,it's okay we'll get you home soon" Clara replied..

Mary came back then,she had been to get a bottle of water.

"Here"

She said opening it,handing it to Rory. He nodded.

"John,sip this,slowly"

John took it from him,but his hand was shaking that much he nearly dropped it.

"Ssorry_"

"It's okay,mate I've got it"

Rory holding the bottle,was helping John drink from it. He took a couple of sips.

He noticed John,though still shaking,but not as much,and his colour was coming back.

"Enough?" He asked.

John nodded.

"Right John,I want you to stay here with, Clara,okay?" He continued.

"But_ I feel_fine now_" John started to say.

_"No John,do as your told for once in your life.

You're're not to move from this chair,until I come back for you"

Rory straightened up from John,handed the bottle of water to Clara.

"Auntie and I will take the bags,to the car then come back for you both"

Clara nodded. She knew that Rory couldn't take all the shopping and help John if God forbid,he collapsed again.

She could have taken some herself with Mum's help,but didn't think that would have gone down to well with John,or Rory for that matter. Besides,had a feeling he,wanted a quiet word with Mum on his own.

"Won't be long" Rory started to walk away with Mary,turning back.

"Behave,John and try to drink some more water"

Nodding at the bottle in Clara's hand.

John's looked mutinous,but didn't argue back.

After they had gone John said.

"Clara"

"Yes,Sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry?_"

Clara turning to him.

"What for John?"

"Everything. You must be mad for wanting to marry me with all the problems I've got_"

He started to say.

"John,stop this I love you..warts and all" Clara replied.

"But I'm not getting any better..You deserve more than I can give you"

Clara took John's hand. Put it to her mouth,kissed his fingers then put it on her stomach.

"You gave me these two. You and Daisy are,all I want"

Pausing too look to him.

"So for all you play us up,

We will be with you all the way, are you going to do as your told?"

"Do as I'm told?"_ John said to her puzzled.

"Yes,stop pushing me away,because..because I won't go!" Clara was tearfully saying.

John pulled her to him.

"Do you know how much I love you,Clara Oswald?"

He gave a big yawn then..

_"Sorry"_

Clara smiled.

"Rory will be back soon,then we can go ..John?"_

There was,no answer because John had fallen asleep on her shoulder. Clara,hadn't the heart to wake him..

Meanwhile:

Rory and Mary had got to the car park,where they had parked both cars.

Rory put the bags in the boot of Aunties car.

"I think I should come back with you,Auntie,you may need help with him"

Rory said to her.

"Rory,dear I can cope if he plays up,you know that.I will get John to do as he's told"

Rory leant against his car,shaking his head.

"Auntie,I know you can,he listens to you,but that's not what I meant. I'm worried about his health at the moment"

Mary looked startled.

"He is alright,isn't he? Oh I know he has lots of things to work through from his past"

She paused then..

"You would tell me if there was anything more seriously wrong causing this,eating business..it's not because John as an illness?"

Rory puzzled at this,remark..

"Illness?"

Mary swallowed.

_"He_He hasn't got cancer,I don't want to lose him,Rory"

The tears,were coming down her cheeks.

"Oh God,no Auntie,it's,nothing like that! If it had been,I would,NEVER keep anything like that from you.."

Putting his arms round her

"John is John. He is stubborn at the best of times.

We all know,from what as come out in the last few,weeks he as lots to work through"

Letting her go then,he opened the passenger side door of his car..

"Sit in here a minute,Auntie"

She sat down,wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry for getting upset,for thinking the worst"

Rory knelt in front of her.

"Don't Auntie I understand,why you would think that"

Closing his eyes,then opening them again. Trying to explain.

"John is" He said.. "Exhausted,he's hardly slept, the food situation,I've told you what,who caused that,but it's not cancer.."

Squeezed her hand in his.

He paused.

"We need to get him home,now to bed,especially as he wants to take Clara to the Doctors tomorrow"

Do you think he will be alright for that,I could take her if he_" Mary started to say.

"Auntie,he needs to do normal things, the hotel,the wedding,organising,even talking to Detective Baker tomorrow. It will keep the panic away.I hope.

I'll have to ring,Dr Barclay when I get back,let him know the latest about the food phobia to.

I've had an idea about that"

When Mary looked puzzled at him.

"I will let out know,when I ring you later,but_"

Rory stood back up then.

"The problem is how to get him home and into his bed,if he collapses,you and Clara won't be able to lift him"

_"Dave"_

Mary said suddenly.

" He is staying at the hotel,if you could get him in the car here.I'm sure Dave would help at the other end"

"If your sure?" Rory said then.

Mary taking her phone out of her bag..

"I will ring him now,can you?"_

"I'll go and get John and Clara"

Rory headed back to the cafe ...

Next Chapter

John goes home but..

There are some problems.

Rory and Amy talk.

Please read and review..


	78. Chapter 78

Return to Love

Chapter 78

Rory went back into the cafe. He'd only got through the door when the waitress who was clearing tables stopped him.

"Is your friend alright?" She asked.

Rory looked over to where Clara was sat. John was asleep with his head on his arms upon the table!

"Oh,right yes" he said. "Sorry about that,I've come to take him home"

"Good because I have to close up soon, and I don't think your other friend would be able to manage him if he's drunk!"

"Now just a minute!" Rory felt his temper rise.

"He isn't drunk!" He looked back across to the couple. Clara looked tearful.

"He hasn't been well" Rory said between gritted teeth. "I will sort it.."

"I have to close in half an hour.." The woman said. Pushing the trolley away towards a door which must have been the kitchen.

"We will be out of here before then"

Rory said over his shoulder. Thinking as he walked towards Clara.

'Bloody Hell,some people,put two and two together and make five!'

Clara looked up as he came over to them both.

"Rory,he fell asleep.."

"So I see"

He said in high amusement,as John gave a slight snore.

Clara looked from him to John and back again.

"He fell asleep on my shoulder when_"

Clara nodded her head towards,the counter.

"She came over and asked if we were leaving soon,opened an eye put his head down on the table,and went back to sleep"

"She's just asked me if he was drunk"

Rory said to her.

"Really! Clara with a look towards the counter that said.

'How dare she'

Then back to the two men.

Rory how,are we going to get him to the car?"

"Your not,I am" He replied.

"I'm hoping I can rouse him enough to get him to walk there with my help"

John,muttered in his sleep,turned his head the other way.

"Auntie is ringing your Dad, Clara he will help get him to bed when you get home. Well,shall we do this?"

Clara nodded.

Going over to John.

He shook his shoulder,gently..

"John,John mate,it's time to get up"

John opened one eye,muttered a rude word also a "Go away,Rory.." Then shut it again.

"Well,least he knows it's me.."

He sighed. Shaking his head.

Shaking John's shoulder slightly harder this time.

John opened both eyes bleary, head half up from the table.

"Rory will you go away!..Fuck_!"

He started to say.

_"And that's enough of that John! Clara doesn't want to hear your 'potty' mouth. Neither do I"

Rory putting one of his friends arms round his neck.

"Come on,mate it's time to go home.."

Clara trying to hide a smile behind her hand.

Rory looking at her from under John's arm,said.

"I'm glad you think it's funny!"

"Sorry" she said.

"But Laurel and Hardy" comes to mind"

" Ha,bloody Ha" Rory pulling John to his feet.

"Come on,John walk!"

John opened an eye again.

_"Rory,five more minutes"

He moaned and went to sit down again.

"No! That's enough now John,walk come on. And don't swear!"

Rory said. John had opened his mouth if not his eyes,but least he was walking.

"I wasn't going to.." John said back sulking.

"Oh I know you,John Smith,how your mind works when you're in a strop"

Rory was talking to keep John awake and walking.

"Am not!"

"Do too!" Rory said back.

"Am_" John started to say again.

_"Will you two pack it in!"

Clara said _"You sound like a pair of five year olds!"

The waitress came out of the kitchen.

"You're leaving then?"

Nodding towards John. "Is he a secret drinker? Only he seemed to spend quite some time in the men's room earlier"

Rory was in front with John. Clara behind them turning back sharply,saying to the woman,frosty..

"How dare you. My fiancee is not drunk! Nor is he a drinker..secret or otherwise!"

She peered at the woman's name badge which said 'Shauna'.

_"And if he was it would be nothing to do with you Shauna!" Looking her in the eye.

"Clara it's alright_" Rory started to say..

"No it's not,Rory"

Clara looking from the woman to Rory and back again.

"Mind your own fucking business!"

Rory was open mouthed. John's arm still round his neck.

"Who's got a potty mouth now?"

Eyes still half closed. The arm that wasn't round Rory's neck,John waved in the air!

"Go Clara! Woe!"

John's legs went. Rory pulled him back to his feet. Then recovering his composure. Said.

"Yes_ Well come on,let's go..Clara are you coming?"

With a final look to the woman that would kill,Clara followed the two men out.

'Blimey'

Rory thought as they made their way out of the building,towards the car park. Clara said she had told John to 'Fuck off' a few times since meeting him,but he hadn't really believed it until today. Talk about a Mother hen..looking out for her chick!

Mary was waiting inside her car. She got out when she saw the trio coming towards her.

"There you are! Dave said it would be okay too_" She started to say.

John was leaning on Rory. Eyes half closed.

"Rory" He said.

"What?"

"I don't..need my future Father in laws help to get to my bed"

"How did you_?" Rory continued..

"There is nothing wrong with my hearing" John replied,irritable.

"I heard what you said to Clara before"

Forcing his eyes open,John pushed away from Rory. Trying to balance.

"I'm alright I_I t -think"

He tried to walk towards the car,wobbled then his legs went again. Rory grabbed for him before he fell.

_"John!"

_"Maybe,not" He said.

Eyes,half closed,hanging on to Rory.

"Bloody_ pills"

"John,come on. Enough now,it's time to go home!"

Rory was getting cross. John irritable.

" Stop treating me as though I'm fucking five!"

"I will when you stop acting like it. Stop swearing John!"

Clara opened the back door of Mary's car.

"Thought I would drive" John with a tired look to Rory.

"Yeah right. John_in_!"

Rory pushed his friend on to the back seat. He would have gone full length, but Clara had got in the other side,by then.

"Hello sweetheart,wanna cuddle_?"

Rory wasn't sure if John was,asking Clara for one from her or the,other way round. When there was a soft snore. John had gone back to sleep,head on Clara's shoulder..

"Okay? You don't look very comfy_" He started to say.

"Rory it's fine" she said softly.

"Go home to Amy"

She blew him a kiss. "See you soon,and thanks"

Rory straightened up then shut the door. Turning to Mary.

"You're sure about this Auntie? He is hard to handle at the best of times but when he's like this_"

Nodding to the man in the car. Pausing.

"Maybe,I should follow you home,I can drive back when I've helped put him to bed?"

Mary put her arms round Rory.

"Sweetheart,that would be a two hour round trip, four if you are thinking of coming back tomorrow. Rory,go home to Amy and Tom,get some rest"

He opened his mouth to argue.

She put a hand on his face.

"Enough,now we will sort John.

Clara and I are grateful for what you have done for him in the last couple of days. You need to think about you for a change"

Rory gave up then.

"Okay,I'll do as I'm told. You will ring me if there are any problems?_"

"There won't be" Mary said,kissing his cheek.

"Go on,in that car_home,I will see you tomorrow"

She pushed him slightly towards his car.

Rory hesitated,Mary realising he was still worried about John said.

"I will ring you later,let you know he's is? How's that?"

"Alright you win. Bye,Auntie"

Rory called,going towards his car and got in. Starting it,he waved to them as,he pulled away from the car park. Mary,waved back and then got into her own car.

Chelsea half an hour later:

Rory pulled on to his drive and turned off the engine. Now if he could find the energy to get out the car and into the house.

'God. What a day,no what a few days ' He thought.

'Thinking about John now. Offered up a silent prayer to whoever was listening.

' Please let him have a good night,no nightmares,and not,play up Clara and Auntie'

He yawned,stretched then got out of the car.

Locking it,went towards the front door,letting himself in.

Rory stood with his back against the door. Eyes closed.

"Rory?" Amy's voice said. " Wouldn't the bed upstairs be more comfortable?"

He opened his eyes and grinning at his wife,said.

"Yes,if I didn't have to climb the stairs. Amy,I'm 34,tonight I feel 84!"

"Oh dear,Raggedy Man been playing you up as he?"

She said coming over,putting her arms round him.

"Yes..no..not really_" He said back to her.

"Well,that narrows it down"

Amy said,with her head against his chest.

She pulled back to look up at his face.

"Rory will you tell me what happened to John? You said I wouldn't like it,but I was there as well. I know you saw more because he was with you and your Dad"

Rory,his head had been on top of Amy's,arms around her as well. He looked at her.

"_Amy,I don't "_

Then he saw the determine look on her face.

He didn't want to tell her,knew Amy wouldn't let it go.

"The kids?"

"In bed,asleep"

By now it was half past eight.

"Okay" Rory said taking her hand.

"Let's get comfortable,and I'll tell you what happened then,and how he's been today"

They went into the lounge. Rory sat down,Amy on his knee,he put his arms round her.

Rory began to tell her about earlier. The part about the cellar and the soap. Then how John was in the shopping centre.

_"Oh God,Rory!"

She said to him head on his shoulder,as he was telling her about John,how he had been treated by his 'Dad' Rory playing with a strand of her red hair.

"If we had known. Maybe we could have.."

She lifted her head back up,tears in her eyes.

"Amy,would we have been able to though?' Like you said last week when I took him to see Dr Barclay. Would the adults have believed us? Two three year olds?"

Rory paused then.

"John told me,he didn't blame us,was glad we were there for him later"

Amy nodded. Then said.

"Rory_is that why he went like he did before,back to his childhood. Went for you?"

Remembering how John had gone earlier that day.

"I think,so" He replied back. "It wasn't me he was seeing,but that so called Dad of his"

Telling her then,how John had admitted at last,his Dad had tried to molest him,though thank God he hadn't succeeded.

"So what now?" Amy asked.

"Now he talks to Dr Barclay,because John admitting it happened is one thing,coming to terms with it is another"

Rory said.

"There is also this food phobia still to sort as well"

"I thought he had started to eat again?" She said puzzled.

"Amy, John will take the easy option you know that? Remember what he was like last month? Cereal,toast,the odd sandwich does not a meal make right? He can't survive on that forever. He's going to get very ill if we don't do something!"

Rory pulled his hand through his fringe.

"I've had an idea about that,but I need to talk to the Doctor,I will ring him first thing.

Amy said then,holding his hand.

"Well,stupid face,how about some supper and an early night? You're dropping!"

Rory looked at her,saying.

"Yes please to the supper,but I'm waiting for a call"

When Amy looked puzzled again at him.

"Auntie said she would phone to see how John settled,when they got him home"

Amy got off his knee,arms folded said.

"Rory,you're shattered,it's time to think of_"

"Myself,yes I know,but Amy I will sleep better if I know he's okay_" He pleaded..

Rory had also told her that John wanted him there at the hotel,tomorrow when Detective Baker came to tell them about the trunks.

"Alright,then I'll get the supper" Amy said,letting him have his way.

"Perhaps Auntie will have called by then. It's omelette and salad,as I wasn't sure when you would be back"

She came over to him, kissed his head.

"Won't be long"_

She went into the kitchen.

Rory yawned. Put his head back against the sofa cushions. Felt his eyes closing. Then his mobile rang,startling him back awake. He answered.

"Hello "_

Meanwhile

John had slept all the way home. It was after nine when Mary pulled up to the front of the hotel. Dave came out with Simon.

'Oh dear' Mary thought. 'Dave knows about John's problems. Will he be happy Simon knowing as well?'

With a look to Clara through the driving mirror said.

"Are you alright sweetheart? We'll get John out in minute,then you can. I just need a quick word with your Dad"

Clara nodded,having an idea why herself.

"It's okay,Mum"

John mumbled.

"Five more minutes" into Clara's neck.

Mary smiled,then got out of the car.

"Hello,Mary" Dave smiled as she came towards the two men.

"I thought it might be easier if Simon gave me a hand"

Nodding to the younger man.

"Mrs Drew" Simon said to her.

Sensing she was,worried about him being there.

"I guessed that John had some_" He paused.

"Problems, it's none of my business what they are,but I'd like to help. John and Clara have been very good to me in the few days I've been here,you all have"

Looking to her and Dave.

Mary looked at them both stood there. Came to a decision.

"Okay,We need to get him upstairs to bed. John is on some medication,which is making him drowsy,but mainly he's exhausted as he hasn't slept well for the last couple of nights"

She explained it briefly. For Simon's benefit.

The two men walked towards the car.

" Simon_thank you,and I've told you,it's Auntie Mary_" She said stopping him.

Simon went red with embrassment.

Dave had opened the back door of the car.

"Hello,sweetpea" He smiled at his daughter. John gave a snore..

Dave grinned wide at that..

"You seem a little stuck..?"

"Much as I like this,Daddy" Clara said.

John was still snuggled into her neck.

"I really need the loo.."

"Okay we'll get him out,up to his bed"

Dave continued. He put his hand on John's face.

_"John,come on now,let's get you out "

John's eyes opened tiredly.

"Ugh,Dave?"

"Yes,it is,I'm going to help you up to your bed,okay?"

"No, want to stay here! It's nice ! It's comfy"

"John come on"

Clara said,shaking his shoulder slightly.. He had started to doze off again.

"Sweetheart,I need the loo. Please John I'm desperate.."

Whispering in his ear.

"_Unless you want me to 'pee' on you?"

John pulling a face, forcing his eyes open,as he realised what Clara had said.

" Clara you wouldn't!?"

"Might not have a choice,if you don't move_now"

Giving him a look,as though to say.

'Do you want to chance it?'

"Oh alright!"

Dave put his arm round John's waist and he put an arm round his,neck as,he helped him out the car. John wobbled slightly..Simon came and put John's other arm round his neck before he took Dave with him to the ground.

John not exactly sure where he was said,squinting at him.

_"RRory?"_

"No John,it's Simon"_

Mary waiting for the fireworks because it wasn't Rory. But.

"Oh_" Was all he said,as the three men headed into reception.

Ben the night porter was on the desk,as they came through moving towards the lift.

"Is he alright?"

Looking up from the newspaper he was reading. Watching Dave and Simon helping John.

Mary followed with Clara.

"John's a little under the weather"

She volunteered,coming towards the desk.

"Are there any messages?"

Ben handed over a piece of paper to her.

"Just these two. Perhaps it's something he ate?"

Nodding to John. Then he went back to his newspaper.

"Maybe"

Mary said looking at the paper in her hand.

Said to him.

"I'll be upstairs,if you need me Ben"

"Hmmm" Ben was already interested in the next thing,the racing results.

Mary trusted him not to spread gossip about her family,or the hotel. Also he would cope. It was a quiet night. Molly would be in at 7am.

Mary walked to the lift joining the others.

When it got to the second floor..Mary went and opened the door to John's bedroom. Dave and Simon put him on his bed.

John lay with his eyes still closed. Clara had gone to use the bathroom,not being able to hang on any longer.

"Simon"' Mary said then.

"Thanks very much,we can manage it from here"

Looking over to Dave,who nodded to the young man.

"We'll have supper soon, watch the football match. See you in the lounge?"

Simon nodded going towards the door.

"Thanks Si"

"Your welcome" He smiled going out the door.

Mary started towards John on the bed,a hand on his face.

"John,sweetheart can you sit up while I help you into your pyjamas?"

John half opened his eyes.

"Hmm,wwhat!"

"Mary,I will give you a hand" Dave said.

When she started to protest, he continued.

"It will be easier if we both help him. John? Do you want to sit up for me,I will help you get undressed?"

Suddenly John's eyes shot wide open,and he started to scream_ pushing Dave away from him!"

"NO !_LEAVE ME ALONE! DADDY! NO NO!"

Not thinking Dave had put his hand on John's jeans,at the zip,to help him undress.

John rolled away from them both,then threw up over the other side of the bed. He burst into tears,saying.

"I'm ssorry,I'm ssorry_M_mummy "

He was shivering. Heaving because there was hardly anything in his stomach to bring up,having been sick earlier that day.

Mary with an anguish look to Dave,sat on the bed,pulled him to her,arms round him. Stroking his head..

"Shush John..baby,I'm here, come on it's going to be alright,hush now"

He was slightly warm,but Mary didn't think its was anything to worry about. It was mainly because he'd got upset.

"Oh God_Mary_John he _I'm sorry I never thought_"

Dave looked at her in panic.

Knowing some, of what happened to John..

Mary mouthed _

"Its okay" to him,over her son's head.

John was starting to calm down,realising where he was..

"M_Mum,I'm okay"_

John said then,lifting his head up from Mary's shoulder. Looking over at Dave.

"I'm a_alright. Ssorry,took me by surprise,cause I was hhalf asleep,touching me there"

Pointing to his belt and zip. Sitting half up away from his Mum. He pulled the zip down himself saying _

"If you could help me please?"

When Dave looked at Mary, John said.

"It's alright,I know it's you_ Dave"

Mary nodded at..him that it was,okay to help and between the two of them got John into his,pyjamas then into the bed.

"Mum_"? He said sleepy to her.

"Yes,sweetheart?"

Stroking his fringe out of his,eyes.

"Sorry about the mess_"

"Don't be silly..soon cleaned up"

Clara came back in then.

Dave had gone to get a bowl and cloth to clean up, telling her what had happened.

She came over to the bed. Touched his face.

"Hey! I leave you for five minutes,to spend a penny!"

John half opened his eyes.

"That's,me,Trouble" He joked.

He put out his hand to her.

"Clara_"

"Sweetie?"

"Come to bed,please?"

"Okay,I'll just take my shoes off "

Saying quietly to Mary.

"I'll stay with him until he's asleep?"

Climbing on the bed then next to John.

Mary nodded to her,taking the cloth and bowl from Dave to clean up the mess. He then took it out.

Looking over then to the couple lay together on the bed.

"Night John,sweet dreams"

Going to the door, Dave stood there,waiting.

"M _mum..love you..Dave than_"

John's voice stopped he was asleep.

Clara said softly,with her arms round him..still..

_"John?"_

Realising he was asleep,said to Mary..

"Mum I will stay with him little longer,he needs me even though_"

"I know Clara. I will make supper for us all"

When Clara pulled a slight face at the mention of food,Mary said back to her.

"Sweetheart,you and those babies need to eat. Your not going to be any good to John if you get sick. Half an hour Clara.."

In a tone that booked no nonsense.

"Dave will you help me please?"

"Yes,of course,Clara.."

In a voice she hadn't heard him use to her since she was a little girl.

"Do as your told,Miss.."

"Yes,Daddy"_

Clara said back,feeling about five,but finding didn't mind it. Quite enjoyed being looked after.

Going out shutting the bedroom door behind them. Both were quiet until they got to the kitchen. Mary washed her hands,then started taking things out of the fridge.

"Thought I would do omelettes for us all,while it's late,there's plenty of salad and bread.

Dave took the eggs from her,putting them on the table,she was shaking and would have dropped them if he hadn't.

"Mary?" With an arm round her.

"Here sit down a minute"

Sitting her down at the kitchen table.

Mary was getting tearful..

"I'm sorry I_I know he still as problems to work out but it_it was seeing him like that. Rory said he has the odd moment when he_he goes back"

Remembering..

"Rory..I need to phone, let him know how John is"_

She went to stand up,Dave stopping her.

"Mary sit still a minute,you need to calm down before,you do"_

"But. The supper. Rory _ I_promised_"

"Mary,you need,to take a time out first. If you get upset,Rory will charge up here,thinking John is really sick again"

While he had been telling her this,Dave had put the kettle on made the coffee.

"Here,drink this"

Putting a cup in front of he took the salad out of the fridge.

"What are you doing?"

Mary gave him a look,standing up.

"Sit.._"

In a tone,that booked no argument.

"I will cook supper why you talk to Rory,but finish your coffee first"

When she gave him another look.

_"Mary,I can cook. I looked after Clara for ten years after Ellie.. died,and she loved my cooking. What?"_

Mary had raised her eye brows at that statement.

"It's just my Dad expected my sister and me to wait on him,hand and foot,especially after our Mother died"

"Really?" Dave said then.

"My Dad expected us boys,to help out with the chores.

We would have got a hiding if we had refused to. Leaving it to my mum and our Linda"

Mary remembered then back in time thirty years ago in Leadworth him saying..

" I've got two brothers and a little sister"

"Will they be coming to the wedding? I would like to meet your family"

She smiled at him.

His face clouded over then.

"My Mum and our Linda should be there,but my brothers died.."

"Oh Dave,my love,you never said,neither did Clara.."

"_She doesn't know"_

Dave replied. Breaking eggs into a bowl to make the omelettes.

"She doesn't know? " Mary repeated back to him_

"They died in a car accident five years ago,Clara last saw them when she was seven. I didn't really keep in touch with them"

Putting the whisk he had used to beat the eggs down. Turning to Mary.

"It was when I was still estranged from her. I wanted to then,but I let my hurt get in the way of that"

Sitting down opposite Mary,taking her hand across the table said.

"I know I should have,and I keep thinking I will lose her again,for not telling her when it happened"

"You won't lose her Dave. Clara will understand. Since she found you again,family is all she thinks about. Even before she met John,Clara use to talk to me about you and her Mum all the time"

"She did?" Dave said.

"Yes"

Mary squeezed his hand.

"Oh I didn't know it was you..then,because thirty years ago,you only told me your name..Dave,not the Oswald"

"I didn't?" He looked puzzled.

"No,perhaps I would have worked it out if you had. Dave the Rave"..

She said softly to him,touching his face.

He smiled at the use of the old 'nickname'

"Do you want me to be here,while you tell her? You really should before the wedding,as she is going to wonder why you've not invited her Uncles?"

"I know,so yes please Mary,I would like you here while I tell Clara.._"

Clara came through the door.

"Tell me what Dad?"

"Ah" He said.

With a look to Mary,who gave a look back that said.

'No time like the present'

"Clara,do you want to come and sit down here next to me,love"

Dave put out a hand to his daughter.

"What is it?"

Clara,sitting down at the table,looked between her Father and Mary.

"Mum..is it John?"

She started to panic!

"Rory. He's told you there's something seriously wrong with him_"

Clara was wide eyed! Mary put a hand over hers.

"Clara_Clara,sweetheart,John's fine. Well as he can be with the problems he's got,that we know of. If he was seriously ill, I would tell you"

Mary could hardly blame her for thinking the worst. She had thought the same herself,said as much to Rory a couple of hours ago?

"It's just"_ Clara was getting tearful.

"I don't want to lose him!"

"Sweetpea. You are not going to"

Her Dad said touching her face.

"But I do have something to tell you"

Pausing then.

"Clara what do you remember about our family?"

"Our family? Do you mean Gran and Auntie Linda in Blackpool?' Uncle Paul and Chris?"

"That's right" He said back to her. Biting his lip when she mentioned his brothers.

Clara had a look on her face as she said

"Not much really,it's been a long time since I saw them"

Looking towards her Father.

"When Mum died,you told...me we were moving down to London,because you had a job to go to there"

"That's right" Dave replied.

" It was all planned before your Mum" He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"_ Died_"

He had looked away from Clara,then back...

"I haven't been entirely honest with you,Clara.

Before we fell out seven years ago I hadn't seen your Gran,or any of the others over the years. Maybe that was my fault? At the time,I hurt. Thought a clean break was for the best?"

Clara nodded at him to go on.

"Then I got a phone call,five years ago,to tell_tell me your..Uncles had been killed. It was in a car crash..in Canada"

"Oh Daddy"_

Clara took her Father's hand,put her other to his cheek,where a tear was,running down. She brushed it away.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you then..I should have..I knew,where you were.I_I was so angry still at you,and_and then when this happened,thought I was,being punished for pushing you away. I was better on my own"

Dave looked down at the table.

"Now,you are going to hate me,not want to have anything to do with me? I'm a horrible person_"

"Daddy_Dad_look at me"

Clara said then in a commanding voice.

Mary thought looking between the pair,that the roles had been turned about. It was though Dave was,the child and Clara the parent!

Dave looked at Clara,still holding holding his hand. 'So like Ellie' he thought with that look on her face.

_ "Never,ever think that!" _ She said.

"I was as much to blame for what happened seven years ago,if not more. I should have tried to get in touch sooner,even before John gave me the push to do it"

_"But your Uncles dying,It was, payback for disowning you_"

Dave started to say_

_"Dad_Stop this! I thought John was,the one feeling the guilt of when thing's go wrong it's all his fault,he keeps saying. I thought you were better than that!"

Clara said in exasperation.

"That..is just_ silly. Dad I am so sorry that this happened,but it still would have done,even if I had stayed with you and my life had gone in another direction"

Dave still didn't look so sure. So Clara said.

"I love you,and I'm going nowhere! Look its late we need to eat. Tell you what let's sleep on it,for now? You, me long talk,tomorrow and you can tell what happened. Have a cry and remember together. Okay?"

Dave put a hand on Clara's cheek,stroking it.

"You look so much like your mother,especially when getting me to listen to reason"_

"Yes,well "

Mary said then,drinking the last of the coffee.

" Its nearly ten,I really must go and ring Rory. Are you sure,you can manage?"

Mary looked to Clara..

"Your Dad is going to cook supper,Clara"

Mary had got up.

Clara,said standing up..as well.

"I will give you a hand,Dad_"

When Dave raised his,eyebrows at that comment, because of Clara's tendency to burn things she said.

"Daddy if you make the omelettes,I will do the salad,butter the bread..think I can manage that"

Mary smiling as she left the room. She could hear the sound of the television coming from the lounge. Simon was watching the football!

'Quick check on John' She thought.

Fast asleep on his back. The duvet on the floor. Shaking her head..Mary picked it up,covering him again. Kissed his head as he muttered_

"Mummy"

Turned over in his sleep.

Mary liked to think it was her not her sister John was dreaming about. It was hard to be jealous of a dead woman,and her sister at that! She had to remind herself,she had him now.

With a final,soft.

"Sleep well,baby.._"

Headed to her bedroom to phone Rory.

Sitting down on her bed,she pressed his number on her mobile. Nearly ten_

'I bet he thinks I've forgotten' She thought.

It rang twice,then she heard Rory answer with a tired.

"_Hello"_

"Sweetheart,you sound exhausted" She said to him.

"Have you eaten?"

Knowing he'd only had a,quick sandwich at the shopping centre earlier. When he was dealing with John,Rory sometimes forgot to eat as well!

"Auntie_ I'm fine,Amy is cooking supper,don't worry I will eat soon_ I'm starving!"

Rory paused then said.

"Is he alright? Did he play you up?"

When she was quiet, didn't answer at first.

Rory rubbed his face..

_"Okay.. what's he done now?"

"Nothing. It wasn't really his fault,nor Dave's if It comes to it"_

Mary said quickly.

"I knew I should have come back with you. Help put him to bed,he would have done as he's told if I was there_"

Rory was rambling because he was tired.

" Rory..Rory..he's fine. Be calm dear. Dave and Simon helped him to his room. The problem was,when we tried to help him get undressed,into his bed"

Telling him what happened when John thought Dave was his Dad,as he tried to help take his jeans off.

" Oh God!" Rory replied.

"How is he now?"

"It didn't last,he did get upset, threw,up then he was crying for Mummy,which I think was my sister..Though he did seem lucid afterwards and let me comfort him"

Mary finished telling him.

_"And where is he now?"

Rory having visions,of John roaming the hotel all night because he was,upset.

" Asleep. Rory, he's exhausted..I don't think we need to give him pills tonight"

Rory said back.

"Auntie,I don't like giving him pills to sleep any more than you do"

He paused then..

I'm hoping last night was an exception,no more 'bloody'nightmares ..!"

Mary knew he was tired.

"Right. Sweetheart,that's it no more tonight.."

_ "But_"

"No Rory,you are to do what I say..When I hang up. You are to eat and go to bed.I don't want you to phone John in the morning..If there are,any real problems,I will ring you..alright?"

Auntie hadn't talked to him like this in years.

"You're cross with me?"

Rory said in a small voice.

"Never,that! Never!"

Mary said.

" If you want to help John over the next weeks,it's time to think of yourself. Now I want you to do as,your told and I will see you for lunch tomorrow. Promise me Rory,I will be checking with Amy later_?"

Rory stuck his lip out in mutiny. Though Mary couldn't see him knew he didn't like the telling off. It was for his own good. Sometimes Rory could be as obstinate as John,if not more so.

There was a sigh..

"Okay,Auntie..I promise,but you will_"

"Rory"_ With warning in her voice.

He gave up then..

"Goodnight..Auntie see you tomorrow?"

"Night sweetheart,sleep well"

Rory hung up..Amy came in with the bowl of salad,which she put on up the table. Turning round to face him.

_"Well,are you going to do as your told then?"

"Wwhat?"

Rory said. Looking up at her. He had been staring at the phone in his hand. He put it down on the table next to him.

"Auntie reading you the riot act,stupid face..I heard part of the conversation"

"She doesn't want me to ring John in the morning,says he will be fine"

Rory volunteered then.

"So he will be"

Amy came over,pulling him to his feet,arms round him. Looking him in the eye.

"Rory you have been telling us all, Raggedy Man needs to get on with it then your the one that's molly coddling him!"

"Amy,that's not fair!"

Rory had pulled away from her,slightly. Looked away,then back.

"It's just_"

"What,Rory_guilt? You were jealous,didn't like him at first. Then because you,didn't know what John's Dad was doing,or tried to do to him?"_

Amy voicing her thoughts,pushed the questions that Rory wouldn't or couldn't admit to.

Rory did pull away from her then.

_"BUT I SHOULD HAVE..!."

Rory burst into tears..

"I _s_should have..known_"

He said again..rubbing at his eyes,with the back of his hand.

Amy came over then,arms round him,pulling his head down onto her shoulder. Kissed his face.

All of this was because he was,tired. Emotions catching up with him.

"Amy" He said then.

_"Am I a good man?"_

" What_ Rory? Of course you are! One of the best,you will do anything for anyone!"

Rory lifted his head from her shoulder.

"Then why can't I fix this? Make John better?"

Amy led him over to the table.

"Sit"_ She commanded.

Rory did.

"Right" She said stood looking at him. Hands on her hips.

"First. John is not a car that you can take to the garage to repair. He's a man,a man who as had a difficult start in life! Second,you may never fix him as you say Rory,not completely"

Rory looked at her in anguish.

"But_"

Amy put her hands to his face.

"Let me finish,sweetheart. If after all these weeks you think that John is not going to get any better. Wouldn't it be best to let it go,not bother any more? Let someone else deal with the problem?"

"Amy is that..what you think?" Rory said back to her.

"That I_ we should_ abandon him? Let him go into hospital?"

"No,and neither do you,Rory. What I'm saying is,John could have some of his problems for the rest of his life"

"I know that. Its sometimes,seems we have made good progress with him. The talking to Doctor Barclay,all that as come out. Then he gets upset. Goes back to the way he was"

He looked over at his wife.

_"Amy,it's, I'm_frightened!"

"Rory?" She said.

"Of what?"_

_"John,doing something stupid when my back is turned"

" You mean like the overdose, a couple of weeks ago?"

Rory nodded.

"Surely not. Look he has Auntie,Clara,Daisy,the twins. Us..He's always had us,Rory,but you,me we can't be there twenty four seven!"

When Rory still looked unsure...

"Sweetheart,even if we lived next door to John and Clara,you can't keep an eye on him all the time. This way is for the best. We just do what we can,when we can,right?"

Rory looked up at his wife,put his arms round her waist.

"When did you get so wise?" He said..

"Oh it's taken years of practice of looking after two little boys,who have grown up into two lovely men,who I'm very fond of. Especially one of them,who is now going to do as he's told,eat and then go to bed,right?"

"Okay_"

Amy, kissed his head and letting him go,said.

I'll go make your supper,won't be long stupid face..

As she went out the room, Rory sat and thought.

Amy was right. She had voiced what he was thinking,feeling.

John was John. Eccentric at the best of times. He was under no illusions about his health..Rory understood that, had done from day one of his problems. It wasn't going to be a ..'quick fix..' If only.

It was sometimes,like today,when John played up big time. He wanted to throw in the towel!

Rory hadn't told Amy how John had been today,only some.

The part in the rest room at the shopping centre,when he said he was going to die because he wouldn't eat. Not that he,himself had got upset flipped. Poor John thought he'd caused him a nervous breakdown.

He smiled at that,it wasn't funny at the time.

Sort of was now. Perhaps that was a way to deal with some of John's problems. He didn't like to be sneaky,but needs must. Rory shook his head,at the thought.

'I'm getting to be the biggest liar,there is!'

He also needed to phone Dr Barclay early tomorrow before he went to the hotel.

He needed to let him know the latest over John's food phobia. How he'd been over the last twenty four hours. Not that he could do any more at the moment,but if he wouldn't quit over John's problems..

"Neither should I !"

Rory said out loud,as Amy came in with his supper.

" Neither should you do what?"

Putting the omelette in front of him.

"Quit helping John. Amy if I get like that again,feeling sorry for myself..smack my face will you?"

"Oh,I will stupid face. If you don't eat before that gets cold..I might start now!"

Rory picked up his knife and folk.

Next Chapter

John and Clara go to the surgery.

Rory joins them at the hotel after talking to

Dr Barclay.

What will Detective Baker tell them about the

bodies in the trunks?

Please review.


	79. Chapter 79

Return to Love

Chapter 79

Wednesday 11am

The next day,and Rory was on his way to the hotel. He had been up early,despite the upsets of yesterday...

BEFORE:

Several times he had,to resist the urge to pick up his phone to ring the hotel to see how John was. If he had slept,not had another nightmare.

The phone in the hall had rung at 8.30am while Rory was having his breakfast. Amy had answered it,but it had been a wrong number. By then he was a nervous wreck! He started..up from the table,as Amy came back into the room.

"Perhaps,I'll go just ring and see if he's alright_"

_"No,Rory, sit down!"

Amy said in tone not to be argued with.

"Raggedy Man will be fine. Auntie told you she would ring if they had a problem with him. Besides"_

She looked at her watch.

"You will see him in a couple of hours"_

Rory subsided back into his chair. He was breaking up the last of his toast on the plate into pieces,and watching the clock for the hundredth time. Amy was,about to tell him off again_ When Tom came into the room,with the football in his hands.

"Uncle Rory?"

"Yes,mate_"

"Can we have a game.. please? Before you go to Uncle John's?"

Rory had told the two children,he would be visiting John to help him with something at the hotel,but would be back later.

He looked at his watch.

"Well,I have to leave at eleven,and I do have a phone call to make,before I go,but_"

"Oh" Tom said,disappointment showing on his face.

Amy gave Rory a look..

"Half an hour,go on then in to the garden,won't be a minute" He said.

"Cool" _

Tom headed outside,with the football.

Rory looking back over to Amy as,he watched him go.

"I'm neglecting him,aren't I? Leaving it all to you,both of the kids?"

"Rory,I don't mind,I told you. I know how things are with John,and can cope with it. But you need to spend time with Tom when you can. Right?"

She replied.

"Half an hour running round the garden,with the football..Will do you both good"

Amy got up kissed him on the head,started to clear the table.

"You will still have time to phone Dr Barclay..Go on play football with your..son"

Rory getting up,liked to hear Amy call Tom his son.

He went towards the patio doors,turning back to Amy.

"Where's Daisy,Amy?"

"She's in the lounge watching TV. Something girly,which is why Tom wants to play football"

She said carrying the dishes,towards the kitchen.

_"Right"

Rory went out of the doors. Tom was kicking the football against the garden wall.

"Mind Auntie Amy's flowers,Tom,she won't be impressed,if you knock the heads off them"

"Sorry Uncle Rory"

"Tell you what,let's go down the other end of the garden,there's more room"

_"Kay" Tom said picking up the football. Rory following.

They were,kicking the ball back and to,when Tom said.

"Uncle Rory,will Uncle John play football with us when he comes,back on Friday?"

"Expect so. You and Uncle John will beat me every time"

Rory said back.. remembering the first day with Tom at the park.

"Yeah"

Tom grinned then kicked the ball back towards Rory. Only the ball went high and because Rory wasn't paying attention,it hit him on the side of the head,with a smack! He fell over.

Tom rushed over to him.

"Uncle Rory,Uncle Rory! I'm sorry, didn't_mean it!"

Amy came rushing out into the garden. She had been watching the pair from the kitchen window.

"Rory !_ Are you okay!? Speak to me!"

Rory was still flat on the ground with his eyes closed.

Amy kneeling next to him,with Tom who was looking scared.

_"Rory?"

His eyes opened then.

Ow !" He said. Trying to sit up.

Amy helping him with Tom.

"Uncle Rory are you okay? Didn't m_mean it!"

Tom was getting tearful,Rory put his hand up to his face.

"Tom,mate I'm fine"

Then he rubbed the side of his head.

_"Besides I've got a thick head,ask Auntie Amy"

Looking between his wife and Tom.

"Don't look so worried. The pair of you"

"Rory are you sure?" Amy said.

"Amy it was only a football..Blimey it took me by surprise,that's all"

He sat up further as Daisy came out into the garden.

"Auntie Amy, Mummy's on the phone,she wants to talk to you"

Neither had heard the phone.

Rory started to his feet with a soft..

"Oh bloody hell" under his breath..

Amy with a look between the two of them.

"Tom,you can see Uncle Rory's fine,you winded him that's all. Go with Daisy, watch the TV,I will make you a drink soon.. Daisy tell Mummy I'll be there in a minute.

"Yes Auntie Amy"

Tom followed Daisy back into the house.

Rory went to go as well,but Amy stood in front of him.

_"Where are you going,Rory?"_

"Clara,she might be worried about John"

"Oh no you don't.. stupid face,she asked for me"_

Amy said then.

_"But"_

" Think she would have asked for you or more that likely Auntie would have rung if it had been about Raggedy Man_

Look Rory_" She started to say.

"I will.. talk to Clara if it's about..John I will tell you,okay..you need to leave soon,what about Dr Barclay?"

_"Yeah,okay,I know"

He said irritable,following her into the house.

The phone receiver was lay on its,side on the hall table. Amy got to it first.

" Hi,Clara"

She said listening,as Rory hovered.

"He's fine,good...yes,I've got one like that "

With a look over at Rory.

"Three year old_ won't do as he's told"

"_Amy_What is,he_ okay?" Rory said in exasperation,trying to take the phone from her.

_"Hang on a minute Clara?" _

Amy held the phone away from her ear,and Rory.

"Stupid face_ stop it! Rory ! John is fine,he's slept,he's had something to eat. The only thing he's been worried about is,you! Clara said she would ring before they went to the surgery,because he was fretting"

_"Perhaps I should talk to him then?"_ Rory replied.

"No" _

Amy said,still holding their phone away from him. With a look in her eyes that said he wasn't going to win this.

"What do you mean_No!?"_

"No,means no,Rory! Not,yes or maybe. John is fine. Look he's gone to get the car out,I'll get Clara to tell him you're fine as,well and will be on your way in an hour"

She pointed up the hall..

"Office,Dr Barclay_now _go_ Unless you want me to tell Clara,Tom kicked a football in your face? I still might!"

"I forgot to duck! " I did! "

He said sulking. When Amy still looked at him.

Rory throwing his arms up in surrender .

He went towards his office. Grumbling.

"Oh_ alright,I'm going! Bossy woman!"

The last part under his breath. But.

_" I heard that!"

Amy said putting the phone back to her ear with a smile as Rory's office door closed behind him.

Rory's Office 10am

Rory was still sulking as he sat at his desk. He was not exactly happy...at being told off or what to do,especially where John was concerned.

Anyway at the moment,he needed to talk to Dr Barclay about yesterday..Picking up his mobile,he pressed the contact number for him.

It was answered after two rings with a cheerful.

_"Hello,Rory Williams!_"

This made Rory smile,brightening his mood somewhat.

"Good Morning Doctor,hope I'm not disturbing you? Not expecting a patient or anything?"

"Not at all. In fact,just catching up on some paperwork. I needed an excuse to stop_"

Was the reply.

"How's John today? Is he coping?"

_"He's okay"_

Well he was according to Clara and Amy,although they hadn't let him talk to him yet today.

"I haven't seen him since last night,but I'm told he slept better than..he did the night before,when he stayed here with Amy and myself"

"What about the sedative,did he take it?"

The Doctor asked Rory then.

"Oh yes"

Rory said back to him.

"Willing at first,with a little persuasion"

Telling the Doctor how John was from bringing him home to Amy,how he passed out. That it was then he managed to get him to take the pill,because he was frightened to sleep otherwise.

"He fought me all the way" Rory carried on saying.

"I got him into bed and the pill knocked him out in the end,but..."

_"But"_

Dr Barclay said back..to him.

"He had a bloody nightmare at three in the morning!"

Rory telling about Daisy waking them up because John had the nightmare about being locked in the cellar.

"I see_"Dr Barclay paused.

"This was Monday_yes?"

.. "Yes _" Rory replied.

"Last night?"

"I'm told he slept,but he was so exhausted. Through they had a slight problem with him when they got home to the hotel"

Telling of how John went with Dave and Auntie.

"He thought Dave was his Dad,when they tried to get him undressed"

Rory saying.

"Doctor I'm sorry to spring all this on you_"

"Rory,it's fine. Look this gives me a heads up with John when I see him next Wednesday"

Rory heard what sounded like paper rustling,thought the Doctor was taking notes.

"Anything else since I last saw him?" He said

" Couple of things"

Rory saying then. Telling the Doctor how John had gone the day before in the kitchen with Amy and him_ How he had gone back to when he was locked in the cellar,and what had happened,how his Dad had treated him the very next day. That he'd made John eat soap. That he had gone for him thinking he,Rory was his ..Dad.

It went quiet then. Rory said.

_"Doctor?"_

_"Yes,Rory I'm still here. You mean to tell me,through it was obvious John wasn't well,that man forced a bar of soap into his child's mouth!"

Rory could tell that Doctor was absolutely livid.

"Yes,and from what John told me after,it seems to have happened another couple of times as well"

Rory said quietly,trying to swallow the emotions down in him remembering..

"John said..said he tried to. Stand up to him,but he_ _"

Rory's voice wobbled ..

_"Rory are you okay?"

The Doctor asked then.

"Are you coping?

Rory rubbed at his face. Touching the sore spot on the side of his head,where Tom had hit him with the football.

"Yes,I'm okay,though I did fly off the handle with him,yesterday.I try not to,but..when John plays,up,he plays up big time!"

Telling the Doctor how John was in the rest room at the shopping centre yesterday. How he said he was going to die,because he wasn't eating properly. That maybe he..should be resigned to it. How then,Rory had flipped,got upset,shook him.

Rory paused then..sighed.

_"Maybe,I'm no good for him,perhaps I'm making things worst?"

_"No Rory,I don't think you are_"

The Doctor said. Remembering how panicky John was when Rory wasn't there. Or if he wanted to leave him in the sessions on his own.

"_Unless you don't want to carry on with this?"

"I do..I won't leave John to it_ I promised him_" Rory replied.

"Okay,Rory,but you have to promise me something"

"Oh,what?" He said back in puzzlement.

_"If all this gets to much for you"

"It won't_I_"

"Rory,I said if_"

The Doctor interrupted back.

"I do make home visits you know. Look it as only been a few weeks with John. Though a lot is coming out,there seems more still to come,right?"

"I think so,as well"

Rory said back to him.

Telling him that John had also admitted that his,Dad had tried to molest him,as well.

"Well,that's a start,getting him except it will be the next step. Other things may follow..yes?"_

Rory could almost see Dr Barclay,trying to puzzle it out.

"This food phobia,may stem from this soap business"

He said then.

"I was,thinking that as well"

Rory said back to him.

"I said as much to Amy,I wondered Doctor"_

"Rory?"

"Those energy food drinks you can get if your not eating properly. Do you think as,a temporary measure for him? Or would that be giving John the easy option?"

"Hmm" The Doctor said.

"It might be a temporary measure,if he's not eating as he should,but I still want him to try to eat..."

"So do I "_

Rory said,he had also told the Doctor,how certain foods made John feel ill,sick.

"That could be to do with the soap"

_"And the porridge"_

"Yes,most probably,John would associate being sick with that"

Remembering what Rory had told him from what John had said.

The Doctor coughed then.

"Now Rory like I said,if you have any problems with him in the next few,days,phone me and I will come,right? You said he and Clara are visiting you and Amy for the next two weeks?"

"Yes from the day after tomorrow,though I'm on my way to the hotel,soon"

Rory said quickly..

"Not that I'm checking up on him or anything,it's just that.. Detective Baker is coming to tell John about the trunks"

"Ah..and do you think John will not ..cope with this,what he will find out?"

Dr Barclay remembering what happened at the hotel last week. The bodies in the trunks.

"No,I think John will cope,it's just the past he has the problem with..besides I was there,so I would like to know as well,who left them there?"

"I see,well let me know how it goes,yes? And don't forget I'm only on the end of the phone if you need me,I'll speak to you soon..Rory Williams,bye for now!"

_"Yeah..bye Doctor"

Rory disconnected the call_

Putting the phone down on the desk,there was a soft knock on the door. Amy put her head round it,waving a white t towel in her hand.

"Is it safe to come in?"_

"Is the kitchen on fire?"_

Rory nodded,with a look to the t towel"

"Funny..ha..ha!"

Amy said back catching on to the joke about her cooking.

"Though,seriously,are you alright..now Rory?"

"Me,never better,take more than a bang on the head to knock my block off!"

Amy moved over to where her husband was still sat at his desk.

There was a,slight bruise coming at Rory's temple.

"That looks sore,perhaps I can put some Witch Hazel on it before you leave?"

Rory moved his head away from her hand.

"Don't fuss Amy,it's fine"_

He said irritable.

Amy moved back,hands on hips, looking at him.

"It wasn't Tom's fault"

_"What?"_

Rory replied.

"I never said it was"_

"Then,why have you got this bag on?"

"I have not got a bag on_"

Rory repeated back.. Shrugged. Then..

Alright,maybe..a little,but"_

Rory stood up and walked over to the window,turning back.

"Amy why are you and Clara,Auntie as,well while we're on about it. Trying to stop me helping John?"

"We're not doing anything of the kind.."

"Yes,you are! Not letting me talk to him this morning..Babying me. It will not help get rid of his problems"

"Nor will it help if you get sick!"_

Amy said back to him.

"I will not get sick,why would I ?"_

"John thinks you are_"

Amy returned then.

Rory with a puzzled look at that comment..

"He told Clara what happened at the shopping centre yesterday"

"Lots of things did,I'm not sure,what?_"

Rory started to say.

"Don't come that with me,Rory Williams,you know what I mean. John upset you over his not eating,then thought you were having a breakdown"

'Thanks,John..mate'

Rory thought,but said.

"Oh that,yeah,it was nothing,we sorted it out"

"Did you?_"

Amy said stood with her arms folded.

"You've also nearly passed out twice,now"

_"I think it was only that night with you and I was_!"

"STOP LYING TO ME!"

Amy suddenly shouted. Tears in her eyes.

"Clara told me. You nearly passed out with her last week too!"

'Clara as well_'

Rory thought.. Going over to his wife.

"Amy,I'm sorry. Look it was only for a minute,because I was tired_"

He tried to explain,put his arms round her,but Amy was having none of it. Pushing him away.. pointing at him.

"No! This is supposed to be a marriage,_ you tell me nothing,especially where John is concerned...I've had it,Rory!"

Rory stood looking at her,hands at his sides.

"Then,you don't want me to help John anymore?"

He asked.

"That's not the issue,Rory and you know it. I mean is that why you got upset last night,about him?"

Amy looked at him. Rory looked away from her in guilt.

"I will help you with Raggedy Man all I can,you know that,Rory,but you need to think about yourself as well"

Rory had sat down on the sofa.

"What if he plays up? Do I leave him to it?"

He asked then. Looking up at her.

"Of course not,but you are meeting trouble half way. He is going to marry Clara,she can sort him and Auntie won't put up with any of his nonsense"

"But she's pregnant"

He said then.

"So,she won't always be"

Amy said.

"This could be the making of John, marriage to Clara,the family he wants,but..you are going to have to let him get on with it.."

Amy sat down on the sofa next to Rory. Taking his hand in hers. Her other on his face.

"Sweetheart,I don't mean to have a go,or shout at you. Why didn't you tell me what happened last week when you nearly passed out? That's twice now..

_"Three times.."_

He muttered,so Amy only just heard.

"What! Rory!"_

"Well you're going on about being honest with you!"

Rory said to her.

Amy was wide eyed.

"When was that? Number three?"

"The other day with Dr Barclay. When John found out about being locked in the cellar.."

Does John know? About the passing out?"

"No. Not about any of it,and I don't want him to.. Anyway it was,only for a minute"

_"Rory_"

"I said no Amy!" He said sharply.

Her face fell..

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout at you either"

Rory squeezed her hand.

"I promise to be more honest with you"_

"Especially about your health?"_

Amy said to him.

"Especially about my health"_

Rory said back.

"But John as enough on his plate,I don't want him upset"

"Maybe he'll understand?"

Amy said then.

"I don't want him to know"

Rory's face fell as he said it.

"Amy,he will not let me help him if he thinks I'm getting sick!"

He said quickly..

"Not that I am"_

"Okay,Rory..Here's the deal..You can still help Raggedy Man,but promise me. Early nights,and you have to let us all help more,right?"

"Amy,you have enough to do with Tom and Daisy"

He said then.

"So,I can help with John as well. I know you have the next two weeks off,but how are you going to help him when you go back to work?"

"Amy..he's lots better than he was,but I'm afraid with all that is coming out for him..that he will go back in on himself again.._"

Rory sounded so lost and upset that Amy's heart ached for him.

"Sweetheart I know you're still feeling guilty over what happened when we were little,but neither of us blames you. John told you so. When all this started,you said we had to let him get on with it. Still help..just take a step back..don't push"

Rory thought,what Amy was saying made sense.

"Alright,I'll try,and I promise to behave,early nights,no more secrets"

Amy smiled at him.

"Good,now if you want to get to the hotel,for twelve,you'd best be on your way"

"Okay"_

Rory stood up and leaned down to kiss Amy..

"I love you..I'll be back for supper later"

He walked to the door..

"See the three of you soon?"

"Bye Stupid Face.."

Amy slipping into the familiar nickname to let him know he was forgiven.

Tadchester the Same Time

After talking to Amy,Clara went to join John in the car that was parked at the front of the hotel.

_"Well?"

He said. As she got into the passenger seat.

"Rory's fine,he was having his breakfast,I spoke to Amy. She said he'll be on his way soon"

"Good,maybe he will be here when we get back?"

John replied.

"Should be,can we go now sweetheart?"

Clara said.

"We'll be late"

"Okay. Clara are you worried about something?"

' Only you' She thought,but said.

" No everythings fine"

John giving her a look,pulled away from the hotel on to the main road.

They arrived at the surgery in ten minutes,it was only a short distance,but because Clara was pregnant,John had insisted they drive.

Parking up,they both got out of the car,making their way into the building. Going up to the desk,Clara said.

"Clara Oswald,to see the Nurse"

Then with a glance to John,who was stood next to her.

"My fiancee would like to register as well,wouldn't you,John?"_

John threw her a look,opened his mouth to say something but seeing the look on her face,closed it after saying.

"Yes,dear"_

He took the form from the receptionist to fill in.

The woman said smiling..

"_Take a seat,you will be the next in,Clara."

Turning to John,who was filling in his form handing it to her.

"That's fine. Dr Jones isn't in today,but Dr Teasdale could see you.."

"See me! To do what..I'm not ill!"

John said, with a panic look to Clara who had sat down.

"Don't worry it will be just a check up,as it's your first visit. Wait for the buzzer.."

She walked up the other end of the desk to talk to another patient.

_"Right"_

John sat down next to Clara.

"Clara_"

" Don't be silly, John you need a Doctor.."

Clara said before he started to get upset.

"I'm not ill,apart from_"

Touching his hand.

_"Yes,we all know that,the Doctor will as well,it will be in your records,but_"

_"What!" John said in more panic.

"John will you calm down!"

Clara said. Turning to him.

_"I was going to say,Dr David will have put it in your notes,that you are seeing Dr Barclay. Sweetheart,it's nothing to be ashamed of,what you are going through"

"I don't want anyone to know_only us"

"No one will,only you and the Doctor"_

_"But"

"John,look you can't keep avoiding things"_

Clara said.

"I can, I don't get sick_fit as a fiddle,me_"

Clara shaking her head. Lowering her voice.

_"John if you ever want to get your wicked way with me,now or when"_

She pointed to her bump

_"these two arrive_ you will do as your told!"

Poking him in his chest.

John narrowed his eyes at her.

_"Are you trying to blackmail me,Clara Oswald!?"_

"You call it that..John Smith,I call it an incentive"

"Really and could you hold out as well? I know your sex mad..."

John with his arms folded,looked her in the eyes..

"Oi! I am not!"

Clara,said loudly,which drew her a look from the woman on the reception desk..

Clara,going red as John raised an eye brow at her.

"I am so going to smack you when we get home"

She said between gritted teeth.

"I thought you didn't want to do_"

John started to say.

"I can smack you without that!"_

Clara retorted back.

The buzzer went then.

"You can go into Dr Teasdale now. Clara the Nurse is ready for you as well"

The receptionist said..

"Thank you,well what's it to be? Celibacy or the Doctor?"

Clara,said as John helped her to her feet.

"But I wanted to come in with you"

John stuck his lip out. Sulking..

"Sweetheart,she is only going to give me the results of the blood test,take my blood pressure"

Both stopped outside a door saying Dr R Teasdale.

"And think,John if I get the all clear we can.."

She pulled his head down to her level,whispering what he could do to her in bed,that night.

John's eyes went wide..

_"We can.."

He stammered.

_"Oh yes.."

John bent and kissed her head.

"Okay,you win" He whispered.

" See you in reception after?"

Clara nodded as John knocked on the door and went in.

Clara smiled and walked further down the corridor to the Nurses office.

'Yes,round my little finger' She thought.

Clara was given a check over by the Nurse,blood pressure taken,which was fine.

The blood test Dr Jones had taken was clear as well. She sighed with relief at that.

The no sex ban was lifted as well.

'John will be pleased,about that' She thought.

"Same time next week,Clara?"

"Ah,I will be away for the next two weeks,at friends.

Would it be possible to see their Doctor? I have done so before. Dr David's practice in Chelsea"

"That should be alright,I'll make it for three weeks. Any problems,see your friends Doctor,also watch your blood pressure,you have one of those kits to test it?"

"Yes,John got one,a few weeks ago,he insists we do it first thing"

Clara replied.

"That's good,well as long as,you rest,eat,sleep as,you should.

The sex should be okay to as,long as you feel up to it"

She smiled. If only all her patients,were as sensible as this one.

Have a good holiday,see you in three weeks,bye Clara"

"Yeah,bye"_"

Going back into the reception,there was no sign of John.

'He must be still in with the Doctor'

Clara thought. She decided to spend a penny,then as she came out,and past reception,still no sign of John. Turning a door opened and Dr Jones came out.

_"Hello Clara,how are you?"

"Fine,Doctor,didn't think you were in today,John's seeing Dr Teasdale"

"Oh,right...and you? You've seen the Nurse,everything alright?"

Yes,its fine,I'm seeing her in three weeks,because we going to stay with our friends again"

She paused.

"Don't worry,I will see their Doctor if I need to"

Dr Jones,smiled.

"I'm sure everything will be plain sailing for you now?"

"Maybe"_ Clara said.

"No perhaps I'm being silly,it doesn't matter"_

"Clara are you sure there is nothing bothering you?"

Dr Jones had notice the look on her face,

"Is it something to do with your babies?"_

"More to do with afterwards"

Clara said biting her lip.

"Doctor,could I talk to you? Oh I'm sorry your not in surgery,it doesn't matter"

Clara went to walk away,but looked upset. The Doctor stopped her.

"Clara.. look its,okay"

She opened her office door.

"Look come in here a minute"

"John will wonder where I am.."_

"That's okay"

Picking up the phone on her desk.

"Norma,if John Smith comes,out of Dr Teasdales,tell him I've got Clara,in with me. Nothing to worry about I just want to change her vitamins,thanks"_

Putting the phone down.

"Sit down Clara"

Noticing she was slightly tearful.

"I take it this is something you can't discuss with John?"

"Not really,because of problems he has. Doctor,I don't think you will have had John's notes,from his,last practice?"

"We,will be getting them now he's signed up with us"

She replied,back.

"Well,I shouldn't really say to much without him knowing"

Clara said.

_"But John was adopted as a baby. He has just got back in touch with his real Mother. The thing is she had post natel depression bad after he was born.I'm worried that.."

"That you might after the twins?"

Dr Jones finished. Clara nodded.

"Clara I don't think it's,something you can inherit,but if your worried we can keep an eye,on you. No two people are the same"

" That's,what my friend Amy said. I feel silly_ John as a lot on,that's why I didn't want him to know"

"There's nothing silly at all,anything your worried about in your pregnancy, concerns us"

She paused,then.

"Now I think we'd better get you back to that young man of yours,he probably thinks, we've kidnapped you. Are you alright now,Clara?"

"Thank you,Doctor,my mind is at rest now"

"Here" handing Clara a prescription.

"These are better"

Smiling as she walked to the door with Clara.

"Thank you Doctor"_

"Enjoy your break,and I will see you in a few weeks,bye Clara"

"Bye"_

The Doctor shut the door behind her.

Clara headed back to the reception.

John was sat on a chair near to the desk..He shot up when he saw her.

"There you are..is everything alright? I thought you were only seeing the Nurse,but I was told you were in with Dr Jones? Clara?"

"John,John,it's okay, I did,but saw,Dr Jones afterwards. She wanted me on some better vitamins"

Waving the prescription at him.

Putting her hand on his face..

"How did you get on with_

"Dr Teasdale, he's a nice man,did you know he breeds rabbits? He said I could have one for Daisy later,when we move to the hotel?"

"Really,I think she would like that,only one,we don't want to be overrun with little babies.."

"No I think we've enough with these two_ "

John touched her bump.

Clara smiled at him.

"We should get back,Rory will be on his way "

John said,then to the receptionist.

"Thanks "_

'Well he's,in a better mood'

Clara thought,holding his hand as they walked back to the car.

"I want to have another look at the top floor"_

"But there's nothing to see"_

Clara said back.

"I know,isn't it great,no more rubbish,can't wait until the builders get here tomorrow,things are moving now sweetheart"

John said excitedly as he started the car.

They drove back to the hotel.

Tadchester about 12pm

Rory drove on to the car park and parked up.

Getting out of the car,he rescued two bags from the back seat.

He had got to Tadchester slightly earlier,so had called to the chemist in the High Street.

There were several cartons of the energy drinks he had asked Dr Barclay about,soups also some sweet flavored ones as well. Rory hoped they might appeal to John's sweet tooth.

Going into reception,he was relieved to see it was Molly on duty,and not Kate. Rory heaved a sigh of relief. He didn't think he could handle her,not today.

"Hello,Rory"

She smiled at him.

"Your Aunt and Clara are in the office"

Noticing he had his hands full.

_"Here let me open the door for you.."

_"Oh,thanks Molly"_

As she knocked on the door,opened it then closed it again behind him.

"Rory_ What on earth_ !"

Mary said.

She and Clara had been sat talking as he came through the door with the two bags. Which he could hardly see over,and quickly put down on the coffee table,before he dropped them.

" There for John"_

He said.

"I asked Dr Barclay,he agreed with me that they might help..as a temporary measure"

He added.

_"We still want him to eat. Where is he,by the way?"

Looking round for him.

"Upstairs in the attic space"

Clara volunteered.

She had got up to look through the bags,with Mary..

"This Is a good idea" Mary said. Looking to Rory.

"Though I still think he needs..persuading,about food"

"Yes,so do I "

Rory said back.

"Like I said these are just to help,because he's not getting the right nutrition at the moment. By the way how did you get on with him at the Doctors?"

Saying to Clara.

_"And yourself?"

He smiled.

"Everything is fine,with me and the babies,the blood test was clear as well"

Telling Rory about the good mood John was in,and about Dr Teasdale and his promise of a rabbit for Daisy.

She laughed.

"I even got him to register,with some bribery.."

Clara going pink..

_ "Right"_

Rory having an idea what that was. Amy was right..Clara,was getting John to do as he was told more and more.

"I'll put these in the kitchen"

Mary said then. Picking up one of the bags. Rory the other.

_"Auntie a word?"_

Following her into the kitchen.

"I will get you all lunch before the detective gets here"

She said over her shoulder,the bags on the counter so she could put the contents in the cupboard.

"Auntie..I owe you an apology"_

Rory said to her.

She turned round..

"For what? I don't understand Rory?"

"How I was last night. For the way I've been behaving lately,especially over John"

Rory passing her some of the packets to put into the cupboard.

"You don't need us both acting like a pair of four year olds_"

Turning to him.

_"Of course,you haven't"

She continued.

"If you mean about yesterday,I was worried about you,sweetheart,your health.."

"I know"_

Rory said back to her.

_"And you shouldn't be,you have enough to worry over with John"_

Mary stopped what she was doing,coming over to Rory who was moving the salt and pepper pots up and down the counter..She shook her head.

That was Rory. Fiddling with objects,when he was upset trying to explain. Something he had always done as long as,she'd known him.

Smiling,taking them away from him. Put her hand under his chin to get him to look at her.

"Rory,you have never acted,like a four year old,even when you were four"

She said to him.

"You have always had an old head on your shoulders,which is why you've been able to cope with John's problems. Come here"

Putting her arms round him then.

"Rory, we want you to slow down"

_"Why? I'm fine"

He pulled away from her..

"Auntie,don't you want me to help John anymore?"

"Of course I do,but you need to let us all help more,step back now and then. Amy and Clara are both worried about you..So am I"

" John what if he goes back to the way he was Auntie?"

"I don't think he will,if you get sick,then you won't be able to help him,right?"_

She paused.

"Sweetheart, I know my son still as a long way to go,and I'm to blame for most of it.."

_"No! your not_Auntie.."_

"Yes,I am..whatever you all say to me,tell me. I feel responsible"

Rory had sat down at the kitchen table. Mary sat down to face him.

"Rory,I know John as forgiven me,but the trouble is,it's going to take longer for me to forgive myself"

Rory had reached across the table to hold her hand.

"Auntie,we all will try to get John as well as we can,but_"

" I know,John may always have problems,lapses, as long as your all there for him_when I'm not in the future,I will have to be happy with that_"

"Auntie,that is not going to be for a very long time"

Rory replied.

"Maybe"_

She said.

"Now I'd better,finish preparing lunch,that Detective Baker,will be here in an hour. Shepherds pie,think John will eat that?"

"He'd better. Amy told me he ate breakfast?"

With a look at Mary.

"Bowl of cornflakes,a full round of toast. He finished both"

"Well, I suppose that's a start,let's see how he does with his lunch?"

Clara came in then.

Do you need a hand,Mum?"

"It's more or less ready,is John still upstairs?"

Clara nodded.

"He has been since we got back from the Doctors an hour ago"

By now it was quarter to one.

"Not really sure what the fascination is at the moment,there is nothing to see until the builders come tomorrow and John tells them what he wants"_

She finished.

"I'll go and see what he's up too"

Rory said then.

_"Tell him lunch will be ready in half an hour?"_

Mary nodded to him as he headed out into the office,through reception to the lift.

Talking the lift up to the top floor,the doors opened. Rory hadn't been up here since taking the trunks down with Simon four days ago.

'Blimey,seems longer' He thought.

The space had seemed huge then,but now it was completely empty_even more so.

John was near the large windows at the front,sat on an old chair. He was balancing on the back legs. His legs up on an old table next to it.

Rory went down towards him.

_"John,there you are!_"

His voice echoed.

John looked towards his friend.

The chair went backwards, Rory grabbed for him.

"Christ ! John! Are you bloody five or what!?"

Rory straightening the chair.

"_You startled me" John said to him..in a sulk.

_"Never mind that!" _Rory said irritable.

"Are you trying to..earn another trip to the hospital?"

Thinking of when he cut his hand.

Shaking his head.

"Honestly,John you do some stupid things at times"

"Why do you bother with me then? Go

away!"_

John stood up now,snipped back at him. Walked over to the window to look out.

Rory closed his eyes,counted to ten.

Opening them again.

_ 'Ten minutes' He thought. 'And we're in the middle of an argument'

"John,if you want me to go,I'll go_ I just came to tell you lunch will be ready soon..see you downstairs?"

John didn't turned round,but just shrugged his shoulders.

Rory started to walk back towards the lift. Then..

_"Rory_ Please don't go_I_ I didn't mean_"

John had turned round quickly, at the sound of his friends footsteps walking away. He sounded panic stricken.. Started to get breathless..

'Oh hell!_'

Rory thought hurried back towards him.

"_Hey,John come on,what's all this?"_

John with face white as a sheet..hands on his knees.

"C_Can't_ b_breathe_"

Rory guided John back to sit on the chair."

_"John. John focus on me mate, slow breaths,that's it_in, out_you can do it_"

"C_Cant_t"

"Yes you can. Stop being silly!"

Rory put his hand on John's face. Chastising him..gently.

"Nothing is going to happen you're safe"

Rory kneeling in front of his friend.. John clinging to his hand.

John with black spots dancing before his eyes,felt as though he was going to pass out..

"John..breathe.."

Rory's voice was the only thing he could focus on. Though it seemed to be growing fainter by the second.

"No..no...you are not going to pass out on me..not today! John!"_

Rory shook his friend slightly. Realising what was happening.

John began to take slow breaths,Rory along with him. Maybe as when they were in Doctor Barclay's office, the breathing helped.

John calming down looked,at Rory.

"_Sorry.. seem to be saying that a lot to you lately"_ Sorry for being sorry?"

Rory raised an eyebrow at that,but didn't tell John off for saying it.

He stood,patted John on the shoulder.

"Are you..alright John?" He asked.

.."Yeah..I'm fine. Sor_"_

"Ah,no you're not_ I told you,it's not a problem,John"

Rory was not going to let him keep apologising. Once only.

"_So"_ he said then.

"Are going to tell me,why you got upset again?"

John looked away from him,shrugged his shoulders.

"That won't wash. _John talk to me!"

John mumbled something.

"What?"_

"I said, thought I'd put my foot in it,when I told you to go away..alright"

John said quickly,turning back to his friend.

Rory sighed.

"I've told you before,I will never ever go away,no matter how much you push,John. Saying that though its not the reason you have got this bag on"

Rory looked his friend..

"Come on John,what's the real reason? Clara

said you...were in good mood. What's changed?"_

John was still sat on the chair. He debated whether to tell Rory,who was now stood arms folded in front of him. The look on his face saying.

'Don't you dare lie to me'

John decided to come clean..

"I was having a look around,now it's all cleared. I must thank,Dave and Simon they must have worked like anything to finish moving the rubbish..and then some...Simon as really been a God send. Best thing I ever did giving him a job,he will be an an asset at Master's.."_

"John".._your rambling"_

Rory said..

_"I've found something.."

John said then.

_"You have?"

_"Something important,I'm surprised the police didn't find it"

John finished.

He got up and opened a drawer that was in the desk,taking a medium sized black book from it..

Handing it to Rory..He opened it,glancing at the first two pages,yellow with age. Then he looked over to his friend.

"John,where did you find this_?"_

"Up in the rafters,behind one of the beams"

John looking towards the ceiling at the side of one of the windows.

Rory following his eye line,looked back.

"_John... tell me that you..didn't climb up there..for God shakes!"

John had been looking up at the space as well,said.

_"I was careful! I used a ladder"_He pointed to the extension ladders,propped against the opposite wall.

_"John,you nearly went arse over tip,less than twenty minutes ago,with that chair,and you tell me you've been_**'Climbing bloody ladders!'**

Rory pointing to John,then rubbing his head...

_"Oh I give up!"

Rory was starting with the biggest headache, that could have something to do with being hit with the football,as well!

"Rory I'm sorry about that,it was childish and stupid I know,but the book I found it as something in it.. to do with the bodies in the trunks"

_"It does?"

Rory looking at the book in his hand,again.

"I found that when I came up here after I brought Clara back from the Doctor's. I read some of it" John nodded at him.

_"Rory,I_I think,what happened here in 1958, is something like what my Dad did to me"_

Authors Note

So what as John found?

Detective Baker will also arrive

Maybe he can tell them something?

Will Rory slow down?

Chapter 80. More soon.


	80. Chapter 80

Return to Love

Chapter 80

Rory just stared at his friend.

"What do you mean,John?"

"It's some sort of diary" He said back.

I've only read some of it,but I think it's similar to what my Dad did to me,only there's a lot more to it"

"John,how did you know,this was up there?"

Rory had put the book on the table. Then pointing up to the roof beams.

"I was looking round like I said"

John replied back.

"When something hit me on the head"

"_From above"_ Rory wondered.

_"From above"_John repeated.

"Part of a nest. I thought perhaps it was a bird that had got in so.."_

_"So you climbed up for a look?"_

Rory finished.

John nodded.

"There might be something else. We could go and have another look_"

He turned quickly walking towards the ladders.

_"No you don't John!"

Rory moving to stop him..

"I think you've done enough climbing for today"

"_But,there might be something up there_

"I said_ No John"_

Rory was getting irritated.

"We can look later..Now you are going to come downstairs with me,to eat lunch. Then when Detective Baker comes,we can talk to him about this..right?"

John pulled a face,which Rory though might be at the mention of lunch,but didn't comment. He pushed John towards the lift,before he could change his mind and start getting the ladders out again!

They took the lift to the ground floor. Rory was stood in silence,rubbing the side of his head.

"Rory?"_

"Hmm,what?"

"Are you okay? John asked.

"Never better_"

Was the reply. The lift got to the ground floor.

As the two men got out,and walked into the office. John stopped him.

"What have you done to your head?"

Lifting his hand..

"There's a bruise.." He started to say.

Rory pulled away from him.

"John will you stop fussing..Bloody hell! Your as bad as Amy"

_"Sorry"_

"And will you give over with that word...for God sakes!"

Rory said even more irritable. Then he saw the look on John's face. Worry..Upset.

"No..No I'm the one who should be sorry,Mate"

He patted John on the shoulder..Shaking his head..

"I got out of bed the wrong side...ignore me"

He also decided to tell him about the bruise,after all. The girls might tell him,or even Tom!

"Tom kicked a football at me..I didn't duck in time"

"Oh right"_

John said trying to hide the grin that followed.

"What_?" Said Rory looking at him.

"Are you laughing?"

"No_No"

John pressing his lips together to try and stop the laughter escaping. Clearing his throat..Said.

"I thought Tom might have waited a couple of days_"

"Oh"_

_" Then we both could beat you up!"

"Yes I expect you will anyway,have before.."

John looked puzzled. Rory said.

"The black eye I got when we were six? It was a cricket ball,I forgot to duck then as well!"

"Yeah,I remember"

John recognition dawning.

"Ow! I'd forgotten"_

"So had I until this happened"_

Rory grimaced,fingering at the sore place.

John pulled his hand away.

"Don't do that!" He said.

"I'll get Mum to put something on it for you"

" After lunch John,and don't pull that face. You promised. It's shepherds pie,small portion,okay?"

"Oh alright!"_

Rory walked towards the kitchen.

"Rory?"_

He turned back towards,his friend.

"Don't tell Mum and Clara what happened upstairs,please?"

John begged, looking really upset.

"I_I can't understand why I'm still getting so worked up,about somethings. I will talk to Dr Barclay next time we see him,I promise"

Before Rory asked him too.

"Okay,John_but you need to come and eat now,Detective Baker will be here soon"

Rory had walked back towards him. He didn't want John getting upset.

Though Auntie and Clara knew he was having the panic attacks some of the time. It wouldn't do any harm to keep somethings between the two of them_for now.

"Come on,I won't say anything..promise"

They headed into the kitchen.

Clara and Mary were sat at the table.

"There you are"_

"Sorry Auntie,we were talking,didn't realise the time" Rory said.

"Well it's ready"

Mary said taking the Shepherds pie out of the oven and placing it on the table.

Dishing out a plate each to Rory and Clara,then a smaller portion for John. Trying not to notice the look on his face,as he pushed the food round the plate.

With a look to his Aunt,Rory got up taking one of the energy drinks,from the cupboard. He put it next to John's plate.

"What's that?"

John wondered.

Rory had sat back down.

"Doctors orders"_

John looked puzzled. The carton was lemon and lime flavour.

"Instead of this?"

Looking down at the plate in front of him. Then back up.

Rory shook his head. Saying.

"Five mouthfuls of shepherds pie,then you can have this"_

John put his hand out to pick it up. Rory moved it away. Pointing at the plate of shepherds pie.

_"That first John"_

_"Two mouthfuls?"_

John said on a sulk.

"_Three"

" Oh,alright"_

John finally agreed.

He put the first forkful in his mouth,chewed and swallowed.

"I hope your counting_ yuck!"

John pulled a face.

"Now come on John,it's very nice"_

Rory said back to him.

Clara,Auntie and himself were eating the delicious meal,couldn't understand why John wouldn't or couldn't..eat as,well.

"Don't be such a baby "_!

With a wicked look.

"Unless you want me to spoon feed you?"

John throwing him a dirty look back.

Then looking at over at Mary.

_"Mum,Rory's had a bump on the head and won't put anything on it "

"I did notice,John"_

Reaching over.

Touching the bruise at Rory's temple. Lightly.

_"Ow!_ Auntie"

He moved his head away.

_"Tom did it with a football"

John volunteered.

"And that's enough from you,young man. I believe you have two more mouthfuls to go? Rory I will put something on that,when you're..finished"

Mary looked between the two men,daring them to argue..

"Yes Mum "_

"Yes Auntie"_

Clara sat trying to keep a straight face..Which was fine until,Mary turned to put the plates in the sink. John put his tongue out at Rory. She started to the door.

"Excuse me_the...bathroom"_

Outside she collapsed into uncontrollable laughter.

'Oh,God's' She thought 'My side's hurt'

She headed for Mary's office. Sitting on the sofa,to try and get her giggles under control.

John and Rory were like a pair of big kids when together. She wouldn't have it any other way. Touching her stomach,hoping the two in there would take after their Dad!

The door opened then,and John came in with the carton of lemon and lime,sipping it through a straw.

Clara,grinning at him. Nodded at the drink.

"I hope you were a good boy and ate the two spoons,of shepherds pie before you were allowed that"_

John pulled a face.

"If I hadn't,you don't think Mum or Rory would let me leave the table,let alone the room!"_

He grinned then..

"Mum's got him in a head lock,putting witch Hazel on his bruise"_

"Seriously!"_

Clara said looked over at him,wide eyed.

"The fuss he's making you would think so"_

John said then,as Rory came into the room,overhearing what was said.

"Who's the baby now?"_

"Just you wait,John Smith,I will get you at playtime"

Rory said deadpan,but there was laughter in his eyes.

John pulled a tongue out at Rory,again.

"You know,if the wind changes,you'll stick like that!"_

Clara said.

"Might be an improvement"_

Rory said back.

"_Oi!"_

John said. Then his face went serious.

"Clara,Detective Baker will be here soon,do you want to stay,while he tells us about the trunks?"

"I would rather,go spend sometime with my Dad. Do you mind sweetheart?"

Clara looked sad all of a sudden. John put down the carton and went over sitting down next to her,held her hand.

"If that's what you want Clara. We will talk later,okay?"

She nodded.

"I'll get Simon to walk with me to the flat"

John helped her to her feet.

"Are you sure,sweetheart?"

"John it's not far,besides I need the exercise,come get me later?"_

"Alright,see you soon"

Clara walked toward the door.. Turning back.

"I'll see you before you leave,Rory?"

"Yeah, sure"_

Rory knowing something was wrong between the..couple,but what?

The door closed behind her. Rory turned to his friend.

_"John?_

"Clara's had some upsetting news,about her family"

John said,telling Rory about her Uncle's and how it had come out between her and Dave yesterday.

"Oh,God,mate..I'm so sorry_"

Rory replied back.

"We have talked,a little"_

John said.

"But at the moment,she needs her Dad. Clara and Dave should talk about the past?"_

Rory saying..

"Perhaps it will help? Do you think that is why she doesn't want to know about the trunks?"

Pausing. John said.

_"Maybe,but I will tell her later if she wants to"

"Auntie said she wants to be here,and will bring the coffee in when Detective Baker arrives,I told her about the diary"

Rory replied.

"_Not that you climbed up to get it_don't think she'd be very happy about that either!"

John pulling a face.

By now it was quarter to two.

"Dave is at the flat?"

Rory said then.

John was twisting the straw round and round in the carton..

"John_drink that,don't play with it"_

Rory scolded.

"What..sorry,yeah.."

John realising what he was doing,what Rory was,saying_Sipped again at the drink.

"We seem to be spending most of the time here with Mum, especially with what happened. So I thought sort out Clara's flat before the wedding? Dave offered to help"

"Clara,doesn't mind?"_

_"No, least I don't think so"

John said looking at a spot in the distance.

"She was upset earlier,I think it was because of the memories"

He looked back at Rory.

_"Seven years of them,mostly in that flat,her and Daisy,then I come along to take it away from her"_

"John that's nonsense,and you know it!"

Rory wasn't going to let him feel sorry for himself. Stood with his arms folded a look on his face that said.

_'And you can pack that in!''_

"Clara wants to marry you..move in here..be a family.. Granted it will be hard,living with you for a start.. "

John's eyes widened at that..

"_Hey "

Noticing the laughter in Rory's eyes. Though he did say to him.

"Look John,I know you have both had a bumpy three months,especially Clara,but you and her are made for each other..right?"

"Then why couldn't we have met sooner?"

John said to him.

_"Instead of me getting involved with Sue?"

"John..mate,maybe Sue was the right person,for that time_for you"

Rory who had walked over to the window,turned back to his friend.

"Yeah...and that ended well didn't it?!"

John said bitterly.

'God,he's hard work when he gets in this mood!'

Rory thought.

"It's just_"

"What John?"

"It seems sometimes,will we ever get there,to the wedding?"

John paused.

_"With my problems,all that is happening. The hotel for a start. Then there's Will"

John rubbing his hand over his face.

"Christ. I've still got..to tell Clara about Daisy being taken!"_

"John,now that didn't happen. We will sort it. Clara won't be happy,we both know that,but not telling her was,for the best"

"Then there's this with her Dad"_

John carried on saying..

"And they will talk, sort it. John,life is not perfect if only it were.."

_"But you and Amy"_

_"Have problems as well,you know that,though you seem to think our lives are a shining example"

"Well,it's better than mine!"

Sat down with his arms folded,in a strop.

"John! For Fuck's sake! HOW?!"

Rory was,getting really frustrated with him. Flung his arms up in the air.

"You have a wonderful woman,two lovely babies on the way,lovely step-Daughter in Daisy...What is..it..you want!?"_

Rory was keeping his distance,as last time he lost his temper and shook John. There was,no way he wanted that again!

"I'm sorry"_

John said to him then. He sighed. Shaking his head.

"I'm winding you up again,aren't I ?"

Rory sat down facing him..

"No,your not John,but I am trying to make you see how wonderful your life is. Can be,if only you'll let it"

"Yeah..maybe.."

John didn't look or sound so sure.

_"It's never going to be normal,though ..is it?"

"That's up to you,John"

Rory still trying to gage this mood he was in.

"Life is,what you make it..Besides,when have,you ever been normal?"

Saying lightly,looking over at his friend.

_"So you think I'm ..a head case?"

John said slowly.

"Now John, I never said that. Your twisting my words"_

"No..I don't mean that..meant to say"_

John had been sat on the sofa facing Rory,he jumped up.

"Christ,not sure what I mean_anymore!"

Rubbing at his face.

"Yeah,headcase..that's me_always will be_"

"John_sit"_

"But _"

"I said_SIT,John!_"

'God this is hard work'

He thought. Staring at his friend.

At Rory's words,John had sat back down again.

"John we could go round and round in circles with this"

Rory patted his friends shoulder.

"We all know the problems you have will not go away by waving a magic wand over them"

"If only"_

John sighed.

_"And I apologise for the comment I made before"

Rory continued.

"What comment?"_

John looking puzzled.

"The when have you ever been normal one. John. I'm sorry,if you don't like me saying it_I didn't_"

_"But _I don't mind_you,that's not the problem!"

John said stopping Rory saying any more.

"Wwhat?!"

Rory was getting confused now,rubbing at his face.

'Talking to John did that'

He thought.

_"Rory,you,Pond,Dad and Mum are my family. I am under no illusions what you all think of my behaviour"

John looked over to him.

"The word you used over the years is_ eccentric_ right? I remember you and Dad calling me that,years,ago even before you knew,or even I did what was wrong with me"

John looked again to his friend.

Rory nodded John was making a very good job of explaining. Now.

"Well you could say that John"

"I don't mind that"

John said.

"It's other people thinking,I'm a fruit cake!"

"Now those are word's I don't like!"_

Rory said quickly.

"There is no way you are that,John.."

Pausing.

"Why don't you think of it this way. You don't mind your family knowing?"

John nodded at him.

"Well what if other people think you are"_

"Weird"_?

John ventured.

Rory looked at his friend.

_"Eccentric"_

Another pause,reaching over to touch John's shoulders.

"In the thirty years,I've known you,as it ever bothered you what others,think of you before this?"

"_No"_

John shaking his head.

"Do Clara and Daisy think you are_ eccentric?"

"Maybe"_

John said.

_"And their not running for the hills"

Rory wondered with a smile.

"Then to hell with what other people think!"

Rory replied.

John smiled then.

"Yeah..you're right_ that's,their problem_"

"Exactly"_

Rory giving John another pat on the shoulder,as he stood up.

He thought John was worried about nothing really. Everyone liked him who he met,especially when he was a solicitor.

He had that way with him_gift of the gab_,but at the moment,maybe it was part of his problems,Rory couldn't get this across to his friend!

Suddenly they heard voices outside the door,one of them Mary's..

"The boys are already in the office,go on in Detective. I'll bring coffee,unless you would prefer tea?"

"No coffee will be fine,Mrs Drew"

There was a knock on the door,and he put his head round it.

"Hello Detective,come on in"

John said. Standing up to meet him halfway.

"Take a seat?"_

"Hello again,Mr Smith"

As he sat down in one of the arm chairs. Looking over then..to Rory.

"Mr Williams"_

"Detective"_

He said back.

"How's things with the police force today?"_

John asked then.

_"John"_

Rory said warningly shaking his head,at him. Sensing and knowing his friend, that there was a sarcastic comment to follow.

John raised his eyebrows,but said no more.

Detective Baker looking round then,said.

"Is Miss Oswald not here today?"_

"Why? She doesn't need to be"_

John said to the man...

"No_no,I just wondered how she was,after her upset the other day"_

"She's fine_thank you"

John said dryly.

Mary came in then with the coffee..

'Oh Thank God,a reprieve'

Rory thought.

It wasn't that John didn't like the policeman. He hadn't exactly warmed to him accounting for the way he had got off on the wrong foot,with him. There was also this mood,which Rory had only just got him back out of and was,keeping an eye on.

John got on with most people,especially in the job they both did,but he didn't suffer fools. How he was going to take to Will when he met him next week was anyone's guess.

_"Coffee Rory?"_

Rory had switched off, realising he was..being spoken to.

"Oh yeah..thanks Auntie"_

Taking the cup from her. When they were all settled. John took a sip of his coffee and looking at the policeman saying.

"You had some news about the note found in the trunk?"_

"Yes,even though some had fell apart within the time period it had been in there. We were,able to work out who_ he was from the rest"

Detective Baker said,looking at the three people sat in front of him.

_"Him?"_

Mary said.

"You know it was a male?"

"If I remember from biology at school"

John said then.

"There is a way of telling"

Looking from his Mum to Rory.

"The difference between the pelvis isn't it?_"

Rory looking back at his friend. Thinking.

'That was John,a fountain of information,if only he could remember his past like that'

He raised his eyebrows at him..

"Er never mind.."

John said then,looking back at the policeman.

_"You were saying?"_

"Yes,his name was Toby Dale,and he was the owner of this hotel. He disappeared in 1958"_

"Somehow into a trunk in the attic upstairs?"

Rory said then.

"Yes,and the DNA test we ran on both him and the baby,found he was the Father of the infant"

Detective Baker said.

John's eyes went wide. He swallowed. Saying.

"He_He was?"_

"We have also traced the Mother of the child. The note was a confession of sorts that she killed him. Her name was_"

"Alice Dale"_

John finished,looking over into the distance.

Rory and Mary looked to each other,then back to John.

"How did you know?"_

The policeman said puzzled.

_"John?"_

Rory still looking at his friend. He had been,quiet,staring into space for a full two minutes.

John turned to him at the sound of his voice.

"I think you had better show him what I found upstairs Rory"

Rory getting up, going over to the desk. Picking up the book,then back. Handed it to the policeman.

Taking it from Rory,with a look to John, opened the book,read the first page.

Looking back up said..

"I see,and you found this upstairs when?"_

"Only a couple of hours,ago wasn't it,John?"

Thinking that if he was,going to start accusing John of withholding evidence. Rory would be having a go at their shoddy police work. They couldn't have searched the rafters,if John climbed up and found it..

"What_yes it was"_

John seemed to snap back then.

"It was tucked in a bag, well..wrapped up,behind the water tank"

He volunteered.

"I see"_

Detective Baker said. He was looking down again at the book.

"John,how did you know it belonged to his wife..daughter?"_

His Mum asked him,guessing.

"Step-Daughter.. I read part of it when I found it upstairs,earlier"

"This confirms in a roundabout way what happened here fifty seven years,ago. The lady in question. Alice Dale,well it's Noble now"_

"She's still alive?"

Mary asked.

"Oh yes,in her seventies"_ the policeman said.

"We won't be prosecuting,there is no point"

He said continuing.

"We traced her through her family. She has been in a nursing home for the last five years,with dementia"

"There would be nothing to gain on either side in prosecuting. The woman hardly knows what's going on around her"_

"That's hardly her 'bloody' fault!"_

John rounded on him_

"_ And her name's Alice_ not woman"

He said bitterly.

"John it's okay"_

Rory said softly. Sensing John might be about to get angry. This probably accounted for the mood he had been in today. He thought. Especially if as he said had read some of this diary.

"Yes,well like I said"

Detective Baker replied.

"The note that was left on the body of _"

With a look over at John.

"Alice Dale's stepfather_state's that because he was,attacking her.

She hit him over the head in self defence. The thing is she,must have had some help to move him,get him into the trunk_That we will never know now_"

While he had been telling them this. John had walked over to the office, window,

he was stood in silence.

"Mr Smith?"_

"What?"

_"You do know that I will have to keep this book for evidence?"

John,turned back to them all then. Saying

"I expected as much"_

"I will let you have it back once we have gone through it,though like I said_"

Then his mobile rang.

"Excuse me,I need to take this"

Taking it from his jacket pocket.

"Detective Baker"_

Pausing,said then.

"I see,well thank you..for letting me know,and condolences to your family,I will be in touch"

Disconnecting the call,said.

"That was Miss Noble. Alice Dales daughter. Her Mother,died in her sleep an hour ago"

"Poor woman"

Mary said with tears in her eyes.

John going over to his Mum and squeezed her hand. Looked up to the policeman.

_"So_ it's over then?"

He nodded.

"I still need to take this"

Holding the book up in his hand.

_"But I should let you have it back,by the weekend"

He got up to leave..

"Thank you"

John said to him

"Detective,if you could give our condolences to Miss Noble,I take it she knows,everything? What was,found upstairs?"_

He pointed.

"Really,that belongs to her family"

"Yes_ she knows_tell you what,Mr Smith,I will give her your number if she wants to call you?"

John nodded.

"Yes,that will be fine,thanks"

"Well,I will be in touch,goodbye. Mr Williams,Mrs Drew"_

Nodding to them,as he left.

John was very quiet. Thinking to himself.

Mary got up.

"John,are you alright?"

"What...yeah"

Smiled at his Mum.

"It's sad,I know,but she's at peace now"_

She started to put the coffee cups,back on the tray.

"I'll wash these then go and check reception"

"I will have to go and get Clara in an hour"

John said then.

"Think I could do with a walk,I'll go with him,Auntie"

Rory said lightly.

"Okay,see you both in a,while"

Mary picked up the tray. Rory opened the door for her. Closing it turned back to John who was sat now at the desk.

"Rory...I'm fine"_

Rory looked puzzled at his friend.

_"Never said a thing?"_

"You don't need to walk me to Clara's..I know the way by now.."

"John,I know you are not going to do a bunk..I trust you"

Pausing..

"_Besides,I'd like to see Dave,haven't seen him since last week_"

He looked at his watch.

" Long as I'm back in Chelsea for about seven,story time_Your turn next week,mate?"_

Knowing he wanted to spend time with Daisy and Tom.

"Hmm, yeah,right?"

"John.. you are okay,though?"

Thinking he was in a funny mood,even for him.

_"Rory?"_

John rubbing at his face.

"What?"

"I think I've done something stupid"_

_"Not you_ Never?!"

Rory started to say.

Then seeing the look on his friends face. He had thought he was having a joke,but_?

"John?_What have you done?"_

Realising he was..serious.

John opened the desk drawer,took out a medium sized black book. Put it on top of the desk.

"That's the diary_"

He said puzzled. Looking over to John.

_"But I gave it to Detective Baker"

John..shook his head.

_"You gave him,a diary"_ There,was more than one"

Rory giving him a look.

"Okay,John,why not give him this one as well?"_

He had picked up the book. Though it looked the same,it felt slightly thicker.

_"I don't know"_

John said then,pushing his hand through his fringe.

Rory raised his eyebrows at that. Then said..

"You must have had,some reason?"_He sat down facing John.

He had put the diary back down on the desk in front of them.

Picking it up again.

"This is withholding evidence,your know that don't you?"_

John nodded at him.

"I found both like I said upstairs,but the one you gave to Detective Baker only contains some of what,happened to_to Alice_"

He nodded at the one in Rory's hands.

"The worst seems to be in that. I suppose I didn't want anyone else too read what happened to Alice,she should be left in peace"

Rory was looking at the pleading in his friends eyes.

If that book had things similar to what happened to John? Could they afford to have him upset again? In fact they were not out of the woods with his problems_yet!

"Okay John,what do you want to do with it?"

He said then.

_"Throw it away,burn it!?"_

John shook his head.

No,it still belongs to Alice's family,but I think we should"_

John paused.

_"Read it,to see how bad it is"_

"What! John,are you serious!"

Rory stated. Looking to the book,then back to him..

_"And if you get,upset because this brings back lots of things you don't want to know?"

John grinned at him.

"Now who's the one, that keeps saying I should talk and not suppress what happened to me?"

He paused to pick up the book from the desk.

Besides_ like you said. I'm half way to not being normal,what's one more push,either way?"_

_ " John!"_

"_Sorry_' but you know what I mean"

He looked at his watch..

"Three o clock,I have to go and get Clara at four.

Well shall we do this?"_

He went to open the book.

Rory put his hand on John's.

"You are,sure about this? That you want to know?"_

"Of course"

But his voice had a wobble to it.

Rory sighed.

_"Okay,John"

'Taking the book from him.

"But I will read it out"_

_"Oh,but_"

John started to say.

Rory threw him a,look which said.

_'Sit _ shut up _ and listen'_

He opened the book and started to read.

Chapter 81

So what will they find..out?

About Alice's life

What happened to her?

How will John take it?

Please read and review.

Thanks.


	81. Chapter 81

Return to Love

Chapter 81

Rory started to read from the diary..

**August** **5th** **1957**

**'Today** **My** **Mother** **married** **Toby** **Dale** **who** **owns the** **Parkway** **hotel.'**

He looked over to John.

"I thought it was Parkgate?"

John shrugged,saying.

"Think it as been changed over the years there have been several owners,I'll have to ask Mum"

"Right_okay_"

Rory seemed reluctant to read on.

John raised,an eyebrow at him.

" I need to know,Rory. I will read it myself,if you don't want to?"_

_"No_No I will read it"

Rory looked back down at the diary. He started to read again.

**Alice's Point of View **

**September 1957**

**Alice gave a shudder,as her new 'Step-Father' brushed against her as he went over to serve a another customer.**

**It seemed he was always finding any excuse to touch her in places,no man should.**

**'Well not unless he was her husband'**

**She thought.**

**That was another thing,there was no way she should have been working the bar at only just seventeen. He was breaking the law,but in a small village like Tadchester,no one seemed to care. It never bothered Toby Dale either.**

**"Are you going to stand there all ****bloody**** night? Stop dreaming,serve the customers!"**

**He yelled at her.**

**Alice shook herself,went to do what he asked. She was just thankful it was at the other end of the bar away from him.**

**The man who had just come up to the bar,smiled at her.**

**_"Hello Alice"_**

**Alice going slightly pink,smiled back.**

**"Matt,the usual is it?"**

**_"Thanks"**

**Putting the half pint of bitter that he allowed himself on the bar.**

**Matthew Noble worked in the local store. He was a year older than her,nice and the only one she had the time of day for.**

**Unlike the men who drank in the bar,he was never drunk,always polite. Though much as Alice liked him,she was always tongue tied, in his presence,trying to think of something_anything_ to say to him.**

**Wiping the bar,thinking 'What to say-What to say' _**

**"Have you had a good day?"_**

**Not original,but it was a start.**

**" Quiet,what do you expect from a place like Tadchester?"**

**Matt shrugged,took a drink from the glass.**

**Sometimes he seemed unhappy with his life.**

**He told her once,if wasn't for his Mother,he would have left Tadchester years ago. Matt's Father hadn't come back from the war. He had been killed in 1940 when he was a year old.**

**Being the youngest of three,his brother and sister having left the village years ago. His Mother had health problems and it had fallen onto Matt to look after her. Alice meeting Mrs Noble,once thought a lot of it was put on. Though..**

**In one way she could understand,she must have been frightened of losing him.**

**Unlike her own Mother_Alice thinking of her now. She had only married Toby Dale,because of the debts. Alice's Father had left them five years,ago when she was twelve. Her mother liked,the easy life,let someone else do the work.**

**What did it matter that it was her daughter or now a new husband to keep her?**

**"Alice..are you alright?"**

**Matthew was talking to her,but because she had only been half listening,thinking her own thoughts..**

**"W_what_yes,I'm fine" **

**Snapping back,smiling at him as she wiped the bar again,more for something to do than anything else. Glancing across the room. **

**Her step father was now sat at a table,with two of his 'friends' More like hangers on,with the amount of free beer they all got through.**

**"Oi_When you have finished making sheep's eye's_ get some glasses washed"**

**He shouted across to her now.**

**His two friends snickered. Alice going bright red,because she knew Matt had also heard moved to do as she was told,with a frightened look on her face. **

**Matt stood,watching as she started to wash them in the sink at the other end of the bar. **

**He had his back to the three who were a distance from him,their voices were carrying. Mostly because of the free beer.**

**'Loosening tongues' Matt thought. They probably didn't realise he was listening.**

**_"Getting to be quite a girl_your Alice"**

**One of the men was..saying to Toby Dale.**

**"So,what of it?_and she not my Alice as you put it_ not yet"**

**Toby said back with a leer in his voice.**

**"Just because she's taken my name. Her Mother insisted on that,when I married the 'bitch' Still what I can't get from the Mother_"**

**Matt went cold.**

**Should he warn Alice? Would she listen to him?**

** He liked her,he really didn't know how to put his thoughts into words at times. Matt was quite a shy person,especially when it came to the opposite sex. That was one of the reasons he liked Alice.**

**She wasn't out for what she could get from him.**

**Alice came back over then,noticing his glass,was nearly empty.**

**"Do you want another drink?"**

**"_No_no I'm fine,one is enough for me"**

**"Oh,right"_**

**There was a look in Alice's eyes then,of disappointment,mixed with something else_fear Matt thought. Had she overheard what her Step Father said as well? Should he say something? Taking his courage in his hands.**

**"Alice,if you want to talk,or need any help,you know where I live"**

**"Matt it's,fine,nothings wrong" She smiled going pink.**

**"Besides I can hardly visit you,unless your Mother is there"**

**"She will be"_**

**He said quickly.**

**"Mum doesn't go out anymore. She is getting more panicky and depressed everyday,it's a good thing I work at the store,least I can do the shopping"**

**Matt sighed. Shaking his head.**

**"I'm trying too get her to see the Doctor about her problem"**

**Alice thought Matt looked as,though he could do with someone to talk to...**

**She could talk to him, glanced over at her Step Father,at the moment he,was playing dominoes with his friends. Looking back to Matt.**

**"I really shouldn't come to see you at your cottage,because_"**

**"Because your a single girl,and people might talk?"_ Matt finished.**

**"I understand"**

**He finished the last of his drink,stood up to leave.**

**"But I could visit your Mum,if she sick?"**

**Alice said quickly,before he moved away from the bar.**

**Matt's face lit up at that comment.**

**"Would you? She likes you.I know its a lot to ask,do you think you could persuade her to see the Doctor? Another woman's point of view?"_**

**He paused then_**

**"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that...you have enough problems of your own"**

**With a glance across to where her stepfather was still sat with his friends,still playing dominoes. Looking back to Alice.**

**"Alice,you sleep up in the attic don't you?"**

**"Yes,but what as,that to do with_"**

**She started to say.**

**"You have a bolt on the door?"**

**'Oh my God!' she thought. 'He knows about 'him'_**

**"Yes it use to be on the outside,but I managed to move it to the inside"**

**She volunteered then.**

**Matt nodded,hoping she had managed to do it properly. He could have done it for her,but how could he get upstairs and back, without her stepfather or even,Alice's Mother seeing him?**

**"Make sure you lock it tonight,put something heavy against the door as well? Promise me Alice?"**

**"I will"**

**She said then having an idea why,though neither one had voiced the reason.**

**"Thank you,Matt. I will come and see your Mother tomorrow,about eleven? It's Sunday,my Mother and him spend the day in..bed"**

**Alice going bright red at that sentence,but wanted to let him know,she wouldn't be missed.**

**"I'll tell Mum you'll come for dinner? See you tomorrow. Good night Alice"**

**"Good night Matt"**

**Alice watched as he went out the door,then making sure all was tidy and as it should be. Not to give 'him' anything to complain about headed upstairs.**

Present Day

Rory glancing up from reading,at John who was thoughtful,looking away into the distance.

"John?"

"And so it begins" _

He said softly,that Rory only just heard the sentence.

He looked back over to Rory saying.

_"What happens next?"_

"Nothing"

His friend closed the book.

"I think that's enough for today,John"

"What_ ? Why,Rory I'm fine"_

"I never said you wasn't"

"Then why are you treating me like I'm five?"

John was starting to sulk.

Rory shook his head.

"John if you want too know more,I_ we will read it,but not today"

He looked at his watch.

"It's quarter to four,thought you wanted to pick Clara up from her flat?"

"I do"

"Then like I told Auntie,I will come with you for the walk,say hello to Dave?"_

He stood up diary in his hands.

_"And this I'm putting it in the car its going home with me"

When John opened his mouth to protest_

"John mate,this may or not help you,but I'd rather we both read it together,okay?"

John nodded.

Realising Rory was only doing it to protect him. At the moment he was calm,but if what had happened to Alice brought back memories of what Mike Smith tried to_do to him.

John shuddered.

"John are,you alright?"

Fixing a smile on his face,he replied.

"Yeah,I'm fine. Rory,your right,maybe in small doses?"

Nodding at the book in his friends hands.

"I'm even willing for you to tell Dr Barclay about it if you want ..you think you should?"

"Well it won't do any harm"

Rory said then,pleased that John was no longer in a,strop and discussing things with a level head.

"I'll ring him when I get back. Now shall we go get Clara?"

"Okay"

John got up from the desk and followed Rory out of the door.

He had turned round to say.

"Besides,when your at my house,we'll have more time to read it and discuss what happ_ Ow!"

Because he was not paying attention,talking to John he hadn't seen Kate come out from the reception desk,next to the office door_and walked into her.

"Well..Hello..Rory"_She put her arms round him.

"We have to stop meeting like this_!" She purred at him.

"KKate.. sorry my fault..nnot watching where I was going!"

Rory trying to move away from her,to John's amusement.

The phone on the desk rang then.

" Aw..heck"_

Kate moved away from him then to go and answer it..

Rory eyes upwards,muttering..

**"Oh Thank God_"**

"Back in a minute Rory,We can carry on where we left off?"_

"**Not** **bloody** **likely**!" _

John heard as his friend moved quickly towards,the reception doors. Saying to Kate,as he followed him.

"..Tell Mum we're going to get Clara,Kate,back soon"_

She nodded as she carried talking to who ever was on the phone.

John went outside. Rory was putting the diary in his car and locking it.

He turned to John,who was still smiling,shaking his head at the encounter.

"Well you walked into that,Mate_"

"Oh very funny..Ha ha John!"_

Folding his arms.

"Suppose she's coming to the wedding?"

Nodding towards the reception doors.

"Apart from her being staff,she's a friend of Clara's,so it's a safe bet she will be there"_

"Oh great...I'm going to spend the whole day being stalked!"_

"Rory_"John laughed.

"It's not that bad...half the time,she does it to wind you up..Why do you think she's,called.'Kiss me Kate'? There's no harm in her"_

"Says the man who's not being chased"_

"Besides_" John finished.

"Pond will be there to hold your hand,she won't let her near you..Let's,go get Clara?"_

They both walked towards the entrance gate to go to Clara's Which was only five minutes walk,round the corner from the hotel.

John opened the door with his key.

As they both went in,Clara's voice came from the lounge.

"John..is that you?"

"_Course it is sweetheart.."

"Oh thank goodness,I was just about to phone you_"

Sounding panicked.

"Thought I said four,it's just gone that now"

John walking into the lounge followed by Rory.

"Are,you alright,Clara?"

Going over to her.

Then noticed Dave,who was sat in one of the arm chairs with a face as white as a sheet,his eyes closed.

Clara,on the arm of the chair,she touched his face.

_"Dad,John and Rory are here now"_

Looking over to the two men.

"Clara..What's the matter?"

John looking to Rory and then back to the couple.

"Dad,he's had,chest pains,I didn't know what to do,he told me to give him one of these_I did but_but_"

She was starting to get upset. Holding the pill bottle out to the two men.

Rory taking it from her.

"It's angina medication" He said to John.

Going over to Dave.

"Clara,sweetheart,it's okay"_Rory was trying to calm her down.

"You did the right thing"_

Dave had,opened his eyes at the sound of the voices in the room.

He was still white,but the colour was coming back to his face.

Rory holding the bottle.. Touched his arm..

_"Dave,it says two a day on this,to take another if you get pains..How many today?"_

"Wwhat?_"

"How many have you taken today?"_

Rory repeating the..question.

"_Not ..sure" He shook his head.

"I forget sometimes..one,the one that Clara gave me"_

"Daddy.._!"

Clara said in exasperation.

"Okay_"

Rory said then.

"And have you still got chest pains? Pains,in your arms?"

"No it's easier now"_

Dave said back to him.

"Right,Dave I will give you another,see how you are,in ten minutes? Here_"

Rory putting the pill under Dave's tongue.

Looking over to his friend then.

"John why don't you take Clara into..the kitchen,make some drinks?"

"Oh but"_

Clara didn't want to leave him.

John pulling her to her feet.

Dave's colour was,coming back more now. Clara was getting more upset,which was perhaps,causing more tension for Dave.

It wasn't good for her or the babies.

_"Sweetheart,come with me,your Dad's looking better,he..will be alright with Rory"

Clara walked over to the kitchen door,with John,but looked back.

"Clara honey,I'm fine now,I just need a rest,go with John_"

Dave looking over at his daughter...

Clara nodded. Following John.

The door closed..John went over to switch the kettle on.

Glancing back at Clara,who had sat down at the table.

"_Sweetheart are you okay?"

Then she burst into tears.

John coming over to put his arms around her.

"WWhy,didn't hhe ttell me,he was sick"_

"Hey come on,Clara,he's fine now"_

John was saying to her.

"He's not really,it's angina,and it can be controlled..You saw what Rory did,asking him about his pills? We will have to make sure he takes them_Right?"

Clara,calming down wiping at her eyes..

"Did I cause this,by leaving..getting pregnant?..What I did before that when I was,a teenager?"

She asked him then.

"Of course not!"

John retorted back..

"Sweetie,lots of men can have heart problems,in later life.. it's just one of those things"

"But_I was a brat..played him up..I told you what happened when I was fifteen..?"

Clara wasn't going to be pacified.

John shook her slightly..

"_Now stop it,Clara..You didn't cause this,blimey,you should have seen what I got up to at thirteen! Rory's Dad was tearing his hair out with me_"

She looked up at him puzzled.

"_Thought you said nothing happened to you before?"

_" Before I got arrested a few months back?"_

John finished. Moving away, he rubbed the back of his head.

"_Ah,well,I sort of didn't tell you the truth about that"

Pausing then.

"It was when I was about thirteen,maybe what happened with _well you know who"_

Clara noticing he wouldn't call him,Dad if he could help it. John carried on telling his story.

"You remember Rory saying I liked the colour purple? I was trying to get you to paint the nursery walls in it as well?"_

Clara nodded.

"Well anyway,like I said at thirteen I sort of rebelled"

_"You did?"

John nodded.

"That was the start of it! Dressing in purple"

He sat down at the table.

" Even though I knew that,Rory,Dad,Amy were not my real family...even Granny Joanie. _ I was always treated the same_Anyway_"

John was holding,Clara's hand,stroking her fingers..

"I had Mum or Auntie as she was,but it didn't always feel the same. I had_doubts..So_

I sort of got into a into a different crowd,the bad boys at school"

John had a faraway look in his eyes,thinking back..Then carried on.

"I was being so cheeky,to Brian,I mean Dad.. I think that was the first time I fell out with Rory...I mean really fell out with him.

Oh I know we've had odd arguments,lately especially with my_"

He paused.

"Problems"_

Clara,looked at him to go on.

"Rory tried to talk to me about these two boys from school,they were a bad influence and I could get into a lot of trouble if I hung round with them. Well_ I wasn't having that! Telling me what to do.

I told him to stop being such a baby and to "Fuck off!" To leave me alone.I would be friends with who I liked. Unlike him who was only friends,with a girl! Yes I even had a go at Pond"_!

Clara raised her eyebrows at that.

"So what happened next?"_

"I threw a brick into one of the windows at Jones farm house,smashed it!"

"_You did!"_

Clara couldn't,believe it.

"The two boys I was with egged me on,to do it. Then they scrapped pretty quick! Old man Jones caught me,started giving me a spanking"_

"He did!"

Eyes wide..Clara couldn't believe the revelations coming from her fiancee!

"I deserved it,but that wasn't the end of it. Rory had followed me to see what I was up to. He wasn't in time to stop me doing what I did.

He was able to stop Old man Jones laying into me"

"Oh"_

" He told him if any one was going to punish_me,it was 'Our Dad' Not his Dad,Clara_but our Dad..."

John looked at her face,touched her cheek.

"I think it was,then I realised I did have a family. Always had. It took something like this to give me a kick up the pants"_

"What happened after that,Sweetheart,do you want to tell me?"

Clara said.

" Did I get a spanking from Dad?"

John asked.

"I would have deserved it,like I said. That's not the way,Brian brought Rory then me up,Mum never did either"

He shook his head..

"_Oh I know,she threatened to spank me last week,slapped my face,but she was under a lot of pressure.I don't think she would have,even though I would have deserved it..as well"

He added..

"I was a brat ..that day..Swearing at Rory,even though,he and everyone was trying to help.."

He carried on..

"Like I said,that wasn't Brian's way. Rory took me home..Nothing was said,but do you know what hurt the most,Clara?"

She shook her head.

"It was the look in Dad's eyes..Rory's..that I could do something like that. Vandalised property_

_Oh I didn't get off,Scott free..I was grounded for a month,had to work on Jones farm for two weeks of the summer holidays to pay for the broken window!"

Rory put his head round the door.

"Thought you were making coffee?"

"Dad?"_

Clara asked.

"He's fine,he's asleep on your bed at moment,don't worry,that last pill must have helped"

"Sorry "_

John getting up to make the drinks.

"We were talking"_

Half an hour had past..

Rory sat down..facing Clara at the table.

"About what?"

John turned back then putting the drinks on the table.

"Doesn't matter,think I'll check on Dave"

"John,are you alright,mate?"

"Yeah,Rory,I'm fine" Sighed.

"It's all fine" Turning went out the room.

Rory looked over at Clara.

"He is alright? You haven't had words?"

Clara shook her head.

"I got upset..about my Dad.."

"He will be fine now,Clara.."

"I know,John helped me to see that"

She smiled at Rory.

"He was telling me about his_checkered past"

"_John was?"

She nodded.

Rory trying to think back...then it clicked..

_"Ah..you mean when he went off the rails?"_

"Yes_"

"So he,still thinks about that?"

Looking across the table at her.

"We never talked,about it,then or now"

He said to her.

"We really thought that we were going to lose him,at the time,but"

Rory said back.

"_Dad sorted it out"

"Lose him?" Clara looked at him.

"John as always been_shall we say_ eccentric"

Rory said with a smile.

"That's what makes him_"

He paused.

John?"_

Clara volunteered.

"Yes, from day one of knowing him,he was shy,placid"_

" Target for bullies?"_

Clara asked then thinking maybe that's how the two boys had got influence over him.

"No"_

Rory said,shaking his head.

"Because I wouldn't allow it. John seemed as though he was pulling away from us..The way he spoke to Dad,Granny,wasn't him at all! Clara,I felt..like smacking him one!_ I didn't though.."

He said quickly.

"Don't you think it's one of the things you both should discuss with Dr Barclay?"

"_Why?"

Rory putting the question to her.

"Because I think he feels guilty and embarrassed about that time"

Clara said back thinking of what John had said.

"Clara it was twenty years ago,and Dad sorted it out. John was punished for what he did_"

"I know he told me what happened"

Looking at the man sat opposite her.

"Maybe it would have hurt John less,if your Dad had spanked him for what he ...did"

Rory pulling his hand through his fringe..

"Clara_! My Dad _Would never..! Neither would I!"

Rory shook his head.

"I know_"

Clara said softly,touched his hand on the table.

_"Think about it,Rory..how he's been over the..last months. Oh I know you,Amy,your Dad did everything to help from when he was three.. and I'm not excusing anything he did or said then_"

"_But?"_

Rory replied.

"Like you said to us,he needs to talk.. maybe not just to Dr Barclay"_

Clara,said to him.

"From what John let slip,he feels as though he didn't belong"

"Belong?"_

"To your family_"

She finished.

"Of course,John belonged! We never treated him any different. Christ,Clara!

He was like the brother I never had...Dad treated him as another son! Granny thought the world_of him_We all still do_!"

Rory was getting upset.

"Did you ever tell him this? Actually tell him?"_

Clara,looking at Rory's face.

Rory looking back at this wonderful woman in front of him,the woman John had chosen. No wonder she was,good for him! For them all!

"I don't know if Dad said anything when I wasn't there,but,suppose I took it for granted that John thought he was part of my ..family"

"Like I said, maybe both of you have to talk..have things..that need saying"

"Clara,if he will talk you know he closes off,if pushed"

Rory said.

"Then push back,get him to talk,if anyone can its you,Rory. You have proved that in the short time I've known you"

Rory looked at her,in confusion.

"Look,John knows you were all there for him,in the end.I think after thirty years,its how he was before,that's confusing and embarrassing,him now!"

Rory shook his head..

"Okay,Okay,I will talk to him"

Raising an eyebrow at her.

"Sure you don't want a career as a Psychologist..."

Realising what Clara,said made sense. Perhaps,he had pushed a lot of John problems to the back of his mind. Especially in the last few months. With his latest ones..

Clara smiled..touched her stomach..

"I don't think..so..I'm going to have my hands full with these two,not to mention..Daisy and John"_

Rory got up from the table.

"Maybe we should go and see if your Dad is awake? Get him back to the hotel"

"Rory,he will be okay now,won't he?"

"Sweetheart,he just needs to be looked after.

Maybe this was a warning?"

Touching her hand.

"There is nothing to worry about. Just have to make sure he takes his pills,okay?"

Voicing what John had already said to her.

"I will make sure of that"

Pausing saying.

"Though I think Mum will have something to say about it as well"_

"Oh?_"

"Rory,it's obvious they are in love, going to get married"

"They are? Did your Dad tell you that?"_

Rory wondered.

"It sort of came out earlier,before his turn"

Clara replied.

"Amongst other things"_

"John told me about your Uncles I'm sorry,Clara"_

"It's alright Rory,I don't really remember them,I was the same age as Daisy,and it was such a long time ago"_

She shrugged.

Running her fingers up and down the table top,looking up.

"Does that make me a hard hearted bitch?_For thinking like that?"

"_Of course not_"

Rory retorted.

"I'm sure your Dad understands as well"

Rory helping Clara up.

"It might have been different if you had stayed in Blackpool was it?"

"Yes"_

Clara said as she followed him to the door. Turning.

"Well,you can't change the past,but your Gran and Aunt. They are coming to the wedding?"

Clara nodded.

_"So you can get to know them again.

There is Daisy to meet. John of course"

They both looked at each other,started to smile.

" Wonder what they will think of his eccentricity?"

Rory voiced. Hand through his fringe as usual.

"Hmm"_

Clara said back.

"But you know Rory?_I wouldn't change him for the world"

"Neither would I"_

Rory grinned.

"Come on,let's go and see if your Dad's up to the walk back?"

Going into the bedroom,Dave was sat up on the bed talking to John. He was looking a lot better and felt like a walk even though Rory said he would go and get the car if he didn't.

Dave had replied. Annoyed.

"I'm not an old man,I can walk that far!"_

"Dad!"_

Clara equally as annoyed hands,on her hips.

Dave looking to his daughter.

"Clara,I'm sorry I frightened you.I forgot to take my pills in the last few days.I won't again"

Looking between the three of them.

"I'm sure there will be enough reminders"_

"You can be sure of that!"

John said noting the determined look on Clara's face.

"Okay,Slow walk back then"

They locked up the flat,and headed to the hotel.

It was nearly quarter to six when they got back..Clara went with her Dad into the lift. Rory was about to follow,thinking John would as well when he headed into the back office instead. With a look to the couple in the lift.

"_Have to be going soon,need a word with John about Friday..see you then Clara?"

"Sure Rory thanks"

kissing his cheek.

"Don't forget what I said"

She said quietly with a nod to the office. Then.

"Love to Daisy and Tom,I'll ring Amy tomorrow"_

"I'll tell her,bye Dave..look after yourself"_

"_Bye Rory,see you soon and thanks"_

The doors closed,he heard.

"Clara,you don't need to tell Mary what happened at your flat,I'm fine_"

"No Dad..enough with the secrets_"

"But Clara"_

"_Dad!"_

Rory grinned as their voices faded. He didn't think Dave would win that argument. Then headed towards the office. Now to tackle John.

Tapping on the door putting his head round it. John sat at the desk near the window looked up as his friend came in shutting it.

"Thought you had to get back to Chelsea?"

"I do,there's plenty of time"

Looking at his watch.

"_Don't have to leave right now!" He replied.

The traffic will be building up,you don't want to get caught up in that_"

"John are you trying to get rid of me?"

Rory laughed.

"Of course not!"

"Well,it sure as hell feels like it..Why won't you talk to me?"

"Thought you didn't want to talk about the diary until next week?"_

Rory closed his eyes,counted to ten. Opening them again said.

"That's not what I mean,John and you know it-Clara said_"

John's head shot up. Absolutely fuming.

"Clara told you..She had no right! That was between us..Her and me!"

Rory shook his head,stood with hands on the desk..

"Why..is it a secret?" He said sarcastically.

"I was there as well! For God sakes,John!"

John flinched at the sharp words.

Rory noticing,didn't want him upset again as he had been earlier in the day. Moving away. Sat down facing his friend. John was still staring at him.

"John" He said softly..

" We need to talk about this.."

"There is nothing to say"

John said back.

"I think there is"_

Rory rubbing at his face. Taking the bull by the horns.

"You should have told me that you felt the way you did. When we were younger? Why didn't you?"

John was quiet..Then.

"Because..because I didn't like feeling like that. After what happened. I felt so ashamed. Especially with what you had all done for me!"

"John,we have all done things we are ashamed of"

Rory said back to his friend.

"Get over it,move on.."

"You haven't"_

John retorted.

"I have in..away.."

John looked puzzled.

"I don't remember you doing anything like throwing bricks through windows,let alone like the language I used to Dad and Granny"_

"John,I didn't like you in the beginning.

I was glad to see the back of you!"

Rory said lightly watching his friends face as he was telling him this. John just looked at him to go on.

"In fact,I remember saying to Amy_'Good riddance'.Oh yes,thinking..Now I get her friendship_all for me"

John opened his mouth to say something

Rory put up his..hand to stop him.

"Let me finish. Amy smacked me one,then wouldn't talk to me for two weeks!"

John grinned at that.

"Perhaps that was a blessing.

The quiet?"

He said then.

Even Rory smiled at the comment,but carried on.

"Then you came back. Dad brought you into the garden,I was on the swing?"

"_Yes,I remember"

John nodded for him to go on.

"Well thought I had got rid,and there you were back in my life!"

Looking over at John.

"Even then I was resentful.

It sort of went away,I found I didn't mind..John what I am trying to say is.I'm glad that,we grew up together and I'm proud to think of you as my brother"

"You..you are?" John stammered.

"Yes...silly sod come here!"

Rory getting up going over to the desk,to hug his friend.

John with tears in his eyes said.

"But what I- I did you...Dad never said..looked so hurt,then stood by m-me"

He was getting more upset.

Rory shaking his head,moved slightly away from him,but still held his arms.

"That's what family do"_

Realising what a burden he had been carrying these last years. Sighing thinking..'That's what he remembered.

What was still in his mind,that John didn't,or choose to forget?'

"R-Rory I'm so ssorry" John had started to sob again.

"Hey.. now stop this,John,what have I told you? In fact I should be apologising for the way I treated you"

"W-What,I don't understand"

John looking puzzled.

Rory indicated for his friend to sit back in the chair. He walked over to the window. Turning back.

"John,I didn't like feelings of jealousy either. Maybe it stems from Mum dying like she did"

He shrugged.

"I don't know. Dad never really talked to me about it. He just got on with his life,his job...left me in the care of Granny"

Rory sounding resentful at the last part.

He cleared his,throat..carried on.

"We did talk about it..later, before I married Amy. Think I understood why,then.

Before that,because you were there,I took all my anger and hurt out on you"

He looked back over to John.

"And it was wrong for me to do that,for which I'm so,sorry,mate!"_

"Rory,I told you I never blamed you for that. I still shouldn't have thrown what you did for me back in your faces"_

"John,you didn't!"

Pausing then.

"Maybe,we went about it the wrong way,Dad and me? Should have talked to you about_why? It might have come out,about what he did to you"

_"That I was a headcase would have come out sooner?"

John said.

"Your not! Stop saying that!"_

Rory rounded on him.

"What about me? Last week, when Tom arrived?

Jealous because a little boy wanted you not me! I thought he didn't want me to read him a story!"

Rory pulled his hand through fringe.

"Christ John! How stupid was that!"_

"Rory,I understand .You and Pond had been through so much.

Then you had to put your feelings on hold to put up with my antics..."

_"And I was pleased to do it,would again"

Rory interrupted his friend. Going over put his hands on John's shoulders.

"Look,John I want you to forget about the past for now. Especially that part. Concentrate on the now? Besides,we've got a wedding to plan!"

John nodded,but started to say.

"Rory I'm_"

"Don't you dare keep saying your sorry John when there is nothing to be sorry for"

"I wasn't going to,do you still feel that way?"

"_Jealous?_ No that went away after we had that talk"

Shrugged.

"Not even sure why it came back.I was thinking,we should both talk about this to Dr Barclay when we see him next week?"

John looked puzzled.

"Why? You said you didn't feel jealous any more"

"I don't. Look it might help us both to talk about the past,John. Help understand more about what happened to you?"

"Don't think anything more did_ I hope not anyway"

John said shuddering.

"You still need to talk about what happened,and there is also this food phobia to address"

Rory said then,looking at his watch. Nearly seven.

Getting up from the end of the desk,where he had been sat talking to John..

"Mate..I will have to go now,traffic or not.

Think on what I said,right? I will see you sometime Friday when you get to ours?"

Rory touched his shoulder.

"Don't have a go at Clara,John for telling me,okay?"

"No..no I'm glad she did"

He grinned.

"We needed to talk about this,I'm glad she pushed. Come on,Ill walk you out too the car"

Going out through reception to the car park.

Rory getting Into his car.

"I will call you tomorrow,see how things went with the builders"

"And I can let you know what time Clara and me will arrive Friday"

Reaching into the car,touched Rory's shoulder.

Thanks for today..mate and talking sense into me..again"_

Rory smiled.

"Your very welcome..ditto,mate.."

Rory started the car,looked back at his friend.

"Speak to you later,and John.."

"What?"_

"Try to eat,get some rest"_

John pulling a slight face,but said.

"_Kay..love to the kids and Amy"

As Rory pulled away,he heard..

"I'll be checking.."

John thought as he waved after his friend.

'Yes I expect you will,mate and I wouldn't have it any other way'

**A/N**

**John and Rory have talked to clear the air.**

**Surely everything will be plain sailing now?**

**But what else can happen?**

**Maybe?**

**Chapter 82 soon.**


	82. Chapter 82

Return to Love

Chapter 82

By Friday everything seemed to be running smoothly.

The builders had been and gone,the best one giving John quotes to start work in the next two weeks while he and Clara were away at Rory and Amy's. The only thing John was worried about was his Mum and Dave.

They had sat down with the two of them and decided the best thing to do,would be for both his Mum and Dave to move into Clara's flat and they could keep an eye on the work from there.

"I can keep in touch,come back if there are any problems.

Simon will be here,with Mr Peterson's help to do any moving of furniture and things as needed"

He was from the village and helped now and then with any jobs his Mum need doing around the hotel.

John said.

"Half of the guest rooms are to be closed off anyway,the excess furniture can be stored in those"

"Don't worry about it John"

Dave said back to him with a look over at his daughter.

"I will be here most of the time.

Only to supervise,won't do any heavy lifting.I promise"

Hands up in surrender to her. Before she could say anything.

"You had better not,I want you well for the wedding"

Clara looking to John.

"Perhaps we shouldn't go,maybe in a couple of weeks when all this is nearly finished?"

"Clara"_John said.

"It's six weeks to the wedding,I know that seems an age at the moment,but there are things to do.

Everything should run to plan now,but we need to be out of the way"

Smiling at her.

"We can't all camp out at your flat-"

"I know that but"_

"Clara,honey"

Mary reaching for her hand.

"If it's your Dad your worried about,I will make sure he does as he's told"

With a look to Dave.

"_And he will won't you?"

"Yes.. now come on,time to go. Rory will be on that phone again wondering when you'll get there"

Rory had already rang twice..both times John had told him they were leaving.

John getting up and pulling Clara to her feet.

"Oh he's an old woman,flapping about nothing,but really sweetheart,we need to go.."

They all went out to the car parked at the front of the hotel.

Both got in. John winding down the window.

"Mum you will ring me if there's"_

He started to say.

"_John,there won't be..Simon will start moving the furniture with Mr Peterson.

The builders don't come until Tuesday"

She touched his face.

"Everything will be fine now go...We will see you all on Sunday"

Rory and Amy had invited her, Dave and Simon down for a family barbecue.A sort of welcome party for Clara,Daisy and of course Tom.

They were staying over until Monday afternoon.

John went to start the car..But

"_Dam!"

Instead he got out started to pat his pockets.

"John ..What..!"

Mary said.

"Keys..can't find them..where are they!?"_

_"John" Clara said.

"Just a second,sweetheart"_

John finished patting his pockets,but not finding the keys. Rubbing his head in thought.

"Know I had them before,maybe I've left them on the kitchen table"

He started to walk back towards the hotel. His Mum following.

"John"_ Clara,said again.

"In a minute_Clara" He called irritable over his shoulder.

"I need to find the 'bloody keys' or we won't be going anywhere!"

"_JOHN"

"What"!?"

Turning round quickly.

Clara sat in the passenger seat, hand through the window,keys dangling from her fingers.

"Oh right..there they are..knew I'd left them somewhere"

With a look to his Mum,then to Clara.

"Where did you find them_?"

"On my seat,I nearly sat on them when I got In.

Sweetheart,you are feeling alright?"

_"Course I am why wouldn't I ?" John snapped,even more irritable at the question.

Mary sighed,to her son.

"John"

With her hand on his arm. Softly.

"Calm down,don't get in a temper and don't take things out on others,especially Clara. Else you'll go into panic mode_again!"

"Yeah,okay"_

Putting his arms round her to give her a hug.

"Sorry Mum"

Hugging him back. Said quietly.

"I know you have to tell Clara about what happened to Daisy,but Rory will help with that"

Pulling slightly away from him to look at his face.

Walking with him back to the car.

"The hotel will be fine,think I still can run things while your away_ have done for the last ten years"

_"Sorry"

John said again.

"That's all right,baby_now get in the car.

Stop worrying_have a good time"

Pushing him towards the Car.

"Go on_"

Going over and getting in,taking the keys from Clara.

This time started the car. Pulling away from the hotel with a final wave to his Mum and Dave.

Mary turned to Dave who put his arm around her as they walked back into the hotel.

"I know he will be okay. I think I will give Rory a quick call..just to let him know,John's in a slight paddy over the alterations"

"Well it might help,if anyone can calm him down,Rory can"

Dave said.

John drove on to the London Road.

"Mum's right you know"

Clara said.

"About what?"

"The hotel..

I know you want everything perfect,but you..we need a break from it"_

"I know..I know..it's just_"

"What sweetheart?"

He looked over,but knew that he couldn't tell her,not yet anyway. Smiling.

"Nothing,it's fine. Hey we're on holiday"

He said brightly.

Clara opened her mouth to say something else,but then her mobile rang.

_"And I bet that's,Rory..again_"

"Hey I heard that!"_

Rory's voice came over the speaker of Clara's phone.

"You were supposed to. Hello we're on the way"

"At last_" Clara added.

"You told me that two hours ago,John"

Rory said in amusement.

"Could have drove here and back to Tadchester in that time"

"Yes,well there was things,to sort before we left"

Clara was saying with a glance to John who was watching the road.

"What? Thought everything was sorted!

What have I told you about getting worked up John?"

"How did you know I did Rory? It might have been something else"

John retorted.

"Because I know you!

Besides which, I spoke to Auntie who said you were,and what happens if you do John?"_

Rory asked the question.

_"John?"

When he didn't answer him.

" I'm driving Rory"_

" Don't avoid the issue,John!"

"Busted..okay..okay.I get upset and go into a panic attack"

John said irritable.

"Exactly. John I'm only telling you this for your own good. Look I will see you both in less than an hour,we will discuss this then. Bye Clara"

Rory hung up.

"Mum didn't have to say anything to Rory" John said. "I'm fine"_

"I don't doubt that sweetheart,but she cares,and worries about you"

Clara looking to him.

"_We all do"_

"It was a wobble that's all,now I'm going to get the talk from Rory soon as we arrive"

"The talk?"_

Clara said glancing across at him in amusement,trying to keep a straight face.

"You know the one?"_

Clara shook her head.

"_No"_

John raised his eyebrows as though he didn't believe her,but let it go,saying.

"Yeah..but I do"_

Then he was concentrating on the road again.

'Oh well' Clara thought.'Least he wasn't sulking' The John from a few weeks ago would have.

Things were quiet for the next half hour. They approached the road towards Rory and Amy's house.

John said.

"Clara look"_

There was Daisy and Tom swinging on the front gate.

They were talking away to themselves.

"Reception committee?"

Clara asked.

"_Hmm"_ John slowing down the car.

Suddenly Tom climbed up on to the wall,which was about five foot high at the side of the gate. He hadn't seen the car.

"Look Daisy..it's like walking a tight rope at the circus,dead easy"_

He was balancing and holding his arms out to the sides.

"_Tom,be careful,you'll fall!" Daisy was crying out to him.

"Oh my God..John!"_

Clara,exclaimed eyes wide at the scene.

"I know,I know.." _

John stopping the car was out at a run.

Going towards the two children.

Slowed slightly as,he got to the gate.

Perhaps it was,Daisy looking over at John in a panic that caused Tom to turn around towards him.

"Uncle John,look its dead easy!"_

"Yes,so I see..Tom..I think you should come down now..okay?"

Putting his hands up to him.

Rory chose that moment to come out of the front door.

"Tom..What do you think you are,doing!?"

Moving towards them..Tom glancing back couldn't keep his balance,started to fall. Towards John.

"Oh shit" muttering under his breath as he tried to grab for him as he did.

Tom with a scream of _"Uncle John!"_fell on top of him.

John went down as well.

Not being able to save the both of them with the added weight.

John bumped his head on the gate post as he fell.

"Christ!" John!"

Rory hurrying towards to the pair on the pavement. Clara was out of the car now as well. Daisy,sobbing in her arms.

"_Mummy_Mummy..J_John,T_Tom.."

"It's,alright,sweetie,their okay" with a look to Rory hoping it was.

Tom was shaking as he sat up..burst out crying ..Throwing himself into Rory's arms.

"I've k_killed him,uncle R_Rory_Uncle J_John_I've k_killed him!"

Sobbing against his shirt.

John looked as though he had blacked out,Rory really needed to check,but couldn't with Tom hanging onto him like he was. Amy who had followed him out,came over then.

"Tom sweetheart_

You haven't killed him. Look come here to me while Uncle Rory helps Uncle John,it's okay_"

John was starting to groan,Rory gave a sigh of relief. Kneeling next to him.

"Amy will you take everyone inside? I will bring John in. He will be fine Tom"

Saying as,he was now stood with Amy who had her arms round trying to comfort him.

" You and I are going to have a talk about this latest stunt..young man"

He said crossly,softened his voice when he saw Tom's upset face.

"Go with Auntie Amy. Uncle John's okay_really_"

The girls,taking the two children inside as,John's eyes flickered open. He tried to sit up.

"Ow! Bloody Hell!"_

His hand touched the back of his head where a lump was forming the size of an egg.

"Take it slowly_"

Rory helping him sit up was,putting his hand to his face. His other waving in front of it.

_"John..John mate,look at me"_

"Rory why are you waving your hand in my face?"

Irritable..

Trying to pull away from him.

"John how,many fingers?"_

"W_what!?"_

"John how many fingers am I holding up?"_

Rory asking the question again.

John looking to his friend,then back down to his hand,saying.

"Two. Unless your making a rude gesture!?"

"Yes..well,think your okay apart from.."

Rory touching the lump at the back of John's head.

"Ow!..Don't do that!"

John remembered.

"Tom! Rory is he okay?"_

"He's fine,the girls have taken him and Daisy into the house. John he will have to be punished for this"

He was saying as he helped him to his feet.

John looked at his friend.

"Oh come on,Rory I'm okay, so is he..besides,if you hadn't come out of the front door just then.."

_" I didn't tell him to climb on the flipping wall. So it's my fault..now!"

Rory said indignantly.

"Now I didn't say that"_

John said back.

"Look he's had a fright,can't you just give him a good talking to?"

John pausing.

"If I remember,Dad did that when you climbed up the tree in the garden at Leadworth and couldn't get down again..you weren't much older than Tom"

_"And if I remember,you dared me to do it! Besides that_ I didn't fall on top of you!"_

Rory said folding his arms.

"Okay..okay.. a talking to then,only because your not hurt.. To much"

John touching his head. Winched again.

"Your sure your okay? No headaches?"

John looking back to his friend.

"No_No,it's fine..just sore,I'll put some ice on it..be okay tomorrow"

" Thanks for what you did mate,but Tom is going to have to learn that he will lose out on privileges for being naughty.I told him so last week"

He had told John what had happened on the beach.

Both of the men went into the house.

Tom was sat on the sofa with Amy,he looked up tearful as Rory came in followed by John. Looking past the former. He shot up over to John. Threw himself at him.

"_Uncle J_John,your not d_ead"_

John holding him with amused look over his head at Rory..

..Who glared back with a look to say..

'This is not funny_John_'

He straightened his face. Then seriously.

"Course I'm not,you daft boy,but that was,a very silly thing to do right?"

Tom nodded at him,

"I'm sorry.."

He looked round at Rory.

"I'm sorry,Uncle Rory,do you want m_me to go?"

Rory looking between John and Amy. In puzzlement.

"Go where,Tom?"

"Back...to the children's home"

Rory pulling his hand through his fringe.

"Of course I don't want you to go!_"

John raised his eyebrows at him.

Then. Rory put out his hand to him.

"Come here,Tom"_

He went and sat down on the sofa,next to Amy.

Tom in the middle.

John moved over to the kitchen area where Clara was with Daisy.

She handed him a t towel with ice inside.

"For your head"

"Yeah..right thanks" Then to Daisy,smiling.

"Don't look so worried,Sweetie,it's fine..just a bump,back to normal tomorrow..okay"

Daisy looked up at him,as he put the towel on the back of his head with a winch.

"_Kay"

"Tell you what,why don't you help Mummy and me unpack the car,get settled in,then we can all have supper together later"

With a look over to the couple with Tom on the sofa knowing they wanted to talk.

The three went towards the door.

As John went to close it,Rory said.

"Thanks mate,see you in a while?_And John,this doesn't get you out of our talk..later..right?"_

John grinned as he shut the door behind him.

No,he knew Rory would still want to give him a talking too as well!

After the door closed Rory turned to the little boy sat with Amy,her arms round him.

He looked at Tom..

"Right,as Uncle John said,that was a very silly thing to do.

He was the one,that got hurt.

Through he was very lucky it wasn't to serious.

If he hadn't been here,Tom it could have been very,very different"_

Pausing..

Tom looking down,Rory put his hand under his chin to get him to look at him.

"_Do you understand me Tom? We could have been in an ambulance,now..on the way to hospital.

You might not have been coming back home here to Auntie Amy or me...ever,and I don't mean back to the children's home!"

"Rory...do you have_"

Amy started to say..

Thinking he was,trying to frighten Tom.

Rory giving his wife a look.

Amy subsided.

He looked back to Tom.

"Because of the fright you've had, Uncle John thinks,I shouldn't punish you. But that's not a lesson learned is it?"

Tom shook his head,at him.

"Okay..No dessert..you will go to bed straight after supper,and no story tonight"_

Tom's head shot up then..

The story the three of them were reading together was a serial..

_"That's not fair! I won't know what's happened.

Daisy will,and I won't..."

_"Tom.." Rory said warningly. Tom bit his lip.

"Sorry_"

"Your lucky I'm not taking the football away as well"

Rory continued.

"Right lesson over. Why don't you get ready for bed and then you can go and find Uncle John? See if he and Auntie Clara have settled in..right"

He kissed the top of his head.

"Go on!"

Pushing him up and towards the door.

"Kay"

"Tom?"_

He looked back at Rory..

"I know,you have apologised to Uncle John, I also want you to say sorry to Daisy and Auntie Clara,especially Daisy..okay?"

Rory remembering how upset they both had been when John and Tom were,on the ground.

The frightened look on Daisy's face.

Especially when John had blacked out.

Tom nodded at him.

"I love you"_

He finished as Tom went out the door.

Rory looked at Amy.

"He has to learn_it could have ended in tragedy for John or Tom,even both_"

"I know. Raggedy Man is alright isn't he?"

"Well he as an egg sized lump on the back of his head,but he's not complaining of headaches,and knew who I was"

Rory said back to her.

"John only wanted,to give him a talking to,but_" He shrugged.

"No_No..I think you did it right"

Amy said then.

"I was worried about the horrible picture you were painting of Tom bleeding to death,unconscious in the back of an ambulance,but_"

Rory opened his mouth to interrupt.

Amy put her finger on his lip. Shook her head at him.

"Stupid face,you did,the right thing,I know it"_

"Yes,well I never expected that_What the hell was he doing up on the wall?!"

"Pretending that he was on a tight rope at the circus"

Amy replied.

_"He told you that?"

She nodded.

"I think he was showing off to Daisy"

Amy smiled.

"It's not bloody funny..Amy..!" Rory said,standing up quickly.

Looking across to his wife. He was pacing up and down the room. Hand pulling at his fringe. Getting agitated.

"I never said it was! Rory will you calm down. Everyone is fine..Your the one that's,making a great deal out of this!"_

Standing to stop him in his pacing,the voice of reason.

"Rory stop it! You are the one who's going to get sick if you carry on like this!"

Rory looked at her his face changed. Putting his arms round her.

"I'm sorry,sweetheart,I don't mean to have a go at you"

Rubbing at his face.

"I think it's getting to me now,shock..both of them John and Tom could have been seriously hurt!_ Think I aged ten years!"

He sighed..

"John making light of it didn't help either"

Amy had seen the look on John's face when he came in. Relief that all was okay.

Thinking it funny that Tom thought he had killed him. She had tried her best to persuade Tom,that he was okay,when Rory was still outside with him.

"Rory,sweetheart..I don't think he meant to joke. Look who would you rather have? Panicking John or the one that takes charge?"

_"You know,which_"

He replied.

"Then John in a good mood is a bonus,right?"

"Well,I'm hoping he's going to stay in the good mood"

"Rory?"_

Amy knew about the slight panic John had been in earlier that day,because Rory had told her when Auntie had phoned.

"Perhaps he's still upset with what happened with Daisy?"

She said then.

"That you have to tell Clara?"

"Yes that's most probably it,but she is going to have to know"

Rory looking to his wife.

"We've only kept it from her these last few days,because of her blood pressure"

Pointing upwards.

"Think I'll go and see if they've settled in"

Kissing Amy,he headed for the door.

"Oi_Stupid face"

As he turned back...

"I love you_"

"Dito_Mrs Williams"

Rory getting the last word for once..

Going upstairs to the guest bedroom,Rory knocked on the door. Clara's voice said.

_"Come in Rory"_

Putting his head round the door with a grin.

_"How did you know it was me?"

Looking round the room.

"John?_"

Clara folding clothes,putting them into drawers. Stopping what she was doing.

"He's taken Daisy and Tom upstairs"

"Oh..right"_ Going to go,but..

"Are you alright,Clara?"

" Fine. I knew it was you,Rory,because you wanted to talk to John.

Tom seemed a little upset. That's why John's taken him upstairs"

"I said he wasn't to have a story tonight!"_

Rory said irritable. Thinking that's why John had taken the two children upstairs.

" He's not. John asked him what the matter was"

Clara replied.

"Tom told him,that he was being punished?"_

Rory nodded.

"I also told him to apologise to you and Daisy"

"Yes he did that, then got upset,burst into tears,saying Uncle Rory didn't like him any more"

Rory sat down suddenly on the bed. Rubbing at his face.

"Oh God! " Looking over to Clara.

"I'm getting this all wrong, aren't I? Making a mess of it?"_

Clara sat down next to him touched his hand.

"Rory you have to stick to what you told Tom?

After saying sorry to Daisy and me. He told us no story, no dessert and bed early?"

She looked at him for confirmation of this. Rory nodded.

"Well,even though Tom knows he has to be punished,there is still going to be part of him that thinks,you are the bad guy"_

Rory trying to take this in.

"There is no right or wrong way about parenting.."

Clara,with her head on one side.

_"Still trying to get it right with Daisy myself"

"Daisy's no trouble"_

"For you and John maybe,I've had my moments with her in the past"

Rory raised his eyebrows at that comment.

Clara smiled.

"You and John may think she's an angel,but I've had a few tantrums and tears,with her..."

"She's never been naughty for me"_

Rory started to say.

"_ I don't think she has forJohn,over much"

Clara finished.

"That's,how it should be..Daddy's girl..Right?"

"You don't mind that?"

"Rory,I know John is not her real Father, Daisy adores him. From the day she met him"

Pausing then.

"As I have.."

Touching her stomach..

"They are all going to get the same love.

There are going to be times when one of us says no...then if it's me. It will be..'Dad said I can'"

Rory smiled at that. John was in love with all his new family,but he wasn't a push over,especially if it was something that they shouldn't do.

"Clara,I always feel better when I spoken to you"

Getting up then.

"Suppose I'd better go and see if everything is okay upstairs?"

"Kay..I'll go and see if Amy wants a hand with the supper,think I've finished the unpacking"

Looking round the room.

Then as Rory walked to the door.

"_Rory?"

He turned back.

"John's not taking over,with Tom. He's only trying to help"

"Yeah..I know"

He sighed. Pulling at his fringe.

"Just wondering if I'll ever work it all out"

Clara smiling.

"You will,go and find John"_

"See you later,Clara"_

Rory went up to the attic floor.

Taking a breath,opened the door to Tom's bedroom.

John looked up from where he sat on the end of Tom's bed. Putting his finger to his lip,pointing to the door indicating that he would come out to Rory.

Tom looked as though he was asleep in his bed,Daisy as well next to him. John covering the two children,coming out on to the landing. He shut the door quietly.

"Let's go to Daisy's room,Rory"_

Pointing to it. Rory followed him in, leaving the door open a little so they could hear if the two children called out.

"Is Tom alright,John?"_

_Was the first thing he asked.

John turning to his friend.

_"He's fine,mate,have you seen Clara?"

_"Just now,she told me Tom got upset?"

Biting his lip said.

"Was it because I've punished him? Did I get this so wrong!?"

"Of course you didn't! Rory,Tom is your son,it was just a_suggestion what I said about a talking too.I wouldn't go against anything you had decided"_

Pausing then.

"I know I said before to give him a talking to,it's not as though you've put him over your knee and spanked him!"_

"I'd never do that! He told Clara_ you that I didn't like him any more! I didn't ! I wouldn't! Oh Bloody Hell! This getting out of hand!"_

Rory pushed his hand through his hair.

"Rory..Stop it! I've told you before.. kids don't come with a set of instructions! This way up?!"_

John was getting frustrated with his friend.

Wondering how he could be so level headed about somethings. His job,helping him with his problems..but when it came to Tom was scared of getting it so wrong!

John sighed.

"Don't think, Tom will want supper,he was sick before you came up"_

_"Oh_ your sure he's alright?"

Rory started for the door. John put his hand on his arm.

"He's fine,it's,probably just the shock of falling off the wall. Rory it will be all back to normal tomorrow"

"And what about that he thinks I don't like him?...John I love him to pieces!"_

"Of course you do.. he will have forgotten by morning.

Look how I was when I shouted at Daisy couple of weeks ago. She said then that she didn't love me.

It hurt,but it blew over..and so will this"_

Looking at his watch.

"It's seven,speaking of Daisy..I'll move her to her own bed..then if you want to lecture me about earlier today..unless you.."

"You don't get out of it that way..John"_

Rory started to say. As he followed John toward Tom's room. Saying quietly as John went to lift Daisy up out of the bed.

"You,me.. my office,after supper,see you downstairs?"

"Oh alright..Dad!"_

John said pretending to pout as he walked towards the door,carrying Daisy.

"See you then!"_

Grinning as he went,hoping he'd lifted Rory out of the mood he'd been in.

After John had gone,Rory covered Tom back up. His eyes opened.

"Hey..Hello mate,Uncle John said you had been sick?"_

Tom nodded,at him miserably..

Rory touched his head.

Sat on the bed next to him.

He didn't seem to be running a temperature.

"You don't want to be sick again?"

Tom shook his head.

"Do you want a drink?"

Rory noticing the glass of water John must have left on the bedside table.

"Yes..please"_

Tom struggling to sit up.

Rory helping,then giving him a drink from the glass.

"Where's Uncle John?"

He asked then propped back up on his pillows.

'Yes he would ask for him' Rory thought then gave himself a scolding for thinking like that.

"He's gone to put Daisy to bed"

"Oh okay"_ Tom said back. Then.

"Uncle Rory"

"Yes mate?"_

"Uncle John didn't read me a story..I told him you said I couldn't have one tonight.."

"Yes,I know"_

"You can read the story to Daisy..I won't mind..I will catch it up_"

Tom started,to say then.

" Think Daisy's asleep.

Tell you what,Tom lets leave it till tomorrow for everyone shall we? You can have supper if you want? It's just dessert I said..no to"

Tom pulled a face.

"No thanks,Uncle Rory..I might be sick again"

Rory raised his eyebrows as it was the first time Tom not wanting food since he had known him,but didn't comment,other than.

"Okay, do you want to lie back down now,hmm?"

"_Kay"_

Tom yawned,snuggled down in the bed.

Rory turning off the lamp,the night light on.

Then he got up to go. Tom started up from the bed..

"No..ddont leave me..U_uncle R_Rory,please"_

He was getting upset.

Rory near the door came back to the shaking little boy.

"Hey,it's okay,Tom I'm here.."

It was unusual for Tom to get the night terrors,though he remembered,Amy saying he'd had a bad dream last week.

Maybe it was as John said..the upset of the fall?

"_Tell you what,how about I get on the bed with you? Stay until you fall asleep?"

Tom nodded is was okay.

climbing onto the bed,

his,arms round Tom. His eyes closed.

"I love you Uncle Ror_"

Rory heard as Tom fell asleep.

"Love you to Tom"

He still lay there with his arms round him.

Ten minutes later,John on his way downstairs thinking Rory would have gone.

Checking Tom,smiled. Rory was fast asleep as well on the bed curled up next to him. Shutting the door quietly made his,way downstairs to the girls.

Good place to end this chapter.

John still as some issues to work through.

So does Rory..

Next chapter. .Soon.


	83. Chapter 83

Return to Love

Chapter 83

John went downstairs to the kitchen. Amy and Clara were sat at the table,their coffee and tea in front of them.

"There you are! Thought you were going to stay up there all night"_

Amy looking behind John.

"Where's Rory? The kids?"_

"Asleep"_

Amy looking at Clara and back to John.

"Rory as well? Is he alright,Raggedy Man?"_

"He's okay"

John allowed,helping himself to a coffee,sat at the table with the two women.

"Tom was a little upset when he went upstairs,Rory was as well"

Telling them both what happened. How Tom had been sick.

Amy worried started up from her chair.

"Maybe I should go up and see if he's_ their both okay?"_

"Sit down,Ameila,leave it.

Their both asleep,I'm sure Rory will sort it,If need be. He will come and get you if there is a real problem?"

Giving her a look that booked no argument. Amy sat in her chair again.

"Clara told me how Tom was when he went upstairs,to see you both"

Looking between the couple. Telling them how Rory had been earlier,after his talk with Tom.

"Rory will be okay Amy,it's just this stunt Tom pulled. I've told him it will be fine,tomorrow"

Amy raised her eyebrows at the comment.

"Pond,this is all still new to Rory..he doesn't spend as much time with Tom as you do,though to be fair..it as only been over two weeks"_

"I'm surprised Daisy didn't want dinner"_Clara said to John.

"She was trying to comfort Tom after he was sick..then fell asleep as well"

He paused.

"I don't think it will do either of them any harm to go without food for one night?_Not really that hungry myself_"

Rory came in then,yawning. Hearing the end of what John was saying.

"You are going to eat,John..you know the rules..even if it's only a little. Must have nodded off"_

He said grumpy.

John grinned.

"Hello Mate,are you alright?"

"Yeah..think so"_

"Okay I will eat...What's for supper,Pond?"

"Omelettes,I wasn't sure what time you would get here,

and with all that's happened"

Getting up to start the supper. Kissing Rory on the head as she passed. He had sat down,next to John.

"Are you okay,Stupid Face? Is Tom?"

"Yeah,he woke up after John went to put Daisy to bed and got upset,I had to stay with him for a while. He's fine now.I fell asleep"_

He looked exhausted. Amy bit her lip..He had spent the last few days,running round afterJohn,she knew by now that they would not stop him. Sighing.

"Well,how about an early night after supper?"

Pausing to say to John,who had opened his mouth to say something cheeky.

"To sleep..Raggedy Man. Won't do you any harm either"

Turning back to Rory.

"You want to take Tom for a hair cut tomorrow?"

"Yes.." Rory said with a look to his friend.

"John needs one as well"

"How can I?" John said. Touching at the bump on his head.

"_Ow"_

"Leave it alone then!"

Rory said irritable.

"I'm sure we can work round it so to speak,get Mario to cut the length and your fringe at least"_

_"But it's,sore"_John said,pulling a face.

"OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE..JOHN WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK!_"

Rory suddenly shouted. Flung his hands up,turning on him.

The other three looked at him in shock..

Rory just got up and walked out the room.

Amy stared,then started to go after him.

John hearing the office door close,got up.

"Let me..talk to him..Pond? It's my fault,I was winding him up. I was,trying to push him out of the mood he's in. It didn't go the way I expected"

When Amy looked at him. He said.

"I'm fine..and so is Rory. He's just tired like,you said..not in the mood for my antics,which I'm going to apologise for. Give me half an hour? Shout when suppers ready.."_

"Okay,Raggedy Man"

She went to start supper,John going towards the office. He knocked on the door.

When Rory didn't answer,went in.

He was sat at the desk,with his chair turned away from the door. All John could see was the back of his head.

_"Rory"_ He said. "Are you okay?"

No answer..

"Look mate,talk to me..please. Yell at me if you want,after all this is my fault"_

Rory turned round quickly in his chair then.

"Don't you dare..John..don't you bloody dare!"

John looked at him.

What?"_ He said in puzzlement.

"Play the blame game with me"_!

Rory said.

"I'm not, but what just happened in there"

John pointing behind him to the kitchen.

_"Was. You don't need me acting like a five year old after what you have been through with Tom today"

Rory sighed, shaking his head..Pointed to the chair in front of his desk.

_"Sit down,John"

John about to say something sarky,but seeing the look on Rory's face thought better of it. He sat down.

Rory rubbing at his face...thought..

'God,I'm tired' But said.

"John,I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just worried"

"About Tom?"

"Yes,also you.."_

"I'm fine.."

"Are you? Auntie said you were getting stressed about the hotel..the alterations?"

John deciding to be honest.

"Okay..I was, now I'm not..does that make sense?"

Rory looked puzzled.

John trying to explain.

"I think it was all that happened over the last weeks. Clara, the trunks..now we're away from it, think I can relax think of other things. Right?"

"And what about Clara? How,do you feel about telling her about what happened with Daisy?"

Rory asked then.

"Well,she is going to have,to know. We're seeing Will on Monday right? I'm not happy,but I'll tell her"

_"We'll tell her"_

Rory said._ "Together"_

"Okay your turn"

John said to his friend.

Rory raised his eyebrows at him.

"My turn?"_

"Don't give me that look Rory Williams"

John nodded his head at him.

" I know,you as you know me? Spill. There's more to why you flipped in there before. Not only me winding you up?"_

Rory knew he couldn't lie any longer. Maybe it was the tiredness?

"John you asked me yesterday,if I was still jealous about you and Tom. I told you I wasn't,that it had gone away?"_

"That's right"_?

Rory had looked away from John. He looked back again.

_"Well..I lied"_

"You did?"_

Rory nodded. Miserably.

" SSorry John,I dont understand why I'm like this,must hate mme"_?

Rory was starting to get upset.

John got up and went round the desk to his friend.

"Of course I don't! Come on Rory your better than this,stronger!"

"Yeah right..."

John put his hand on Rory's face.

"Mate look at me.. I thought we were a family sorted things,together? Look how great you've been,helping with my problems. How good you are with Daisy"

Pausing..

"What is it your worried about with Tom? No one least of all me is going to take him away from you"_

"I know,but when I see how he looks up to you"

Rory shaking his head.

" I don't mind that! Its sometimes I think you would be better as his Dad..not me!"_

"That's rubbish! And you know it. He thinks the world of you. Is this because he told Clara and me that you didn't like him any more?"_

Rory jumping up from his chair.

"_Yes..No..I don't know! John I _we're going to lose him Amy and me!"

"Of course your not!"

John getting up from the end of the desk where he'd been sat. Stopping Rory in his pacing.

"Rory..stop this! For God's shake! If you carry on like this you will lose him. Also yourself..into a nervous breakdown!"_

His hands on Rory's arms shaking him.

Pulling away from John he subsided back into his deskchair head in his hands.

John looked at his watch,nearly nine,wondered why Amy hadn't called them for supper. It had been nearly an hour,the talking..

"Rory..mate..do you want to go and have supper? You might feel better if you have something to eat?"_

Rory looked up at him with tired eyes,laughed. Said.

"If only it were that simple.."_

Getting up. Wobbling slightly.

"Woe"_

John steading him..

"Rory..!"

_"John I'm fine,really"

His friend looked as though he didn't believe him.

"I'm not hungry, I'm going to bed. It won't do me any harm to do without a meal like the kids? Think I need the sleep more. Will you promise me something,John?"_

"If I can"_

" Try and eat..please?"_

John raised his eyebrows at that comment. Even after all the upset,his friend was still looking out for him..

"I'll try.."

When Rory looked at him.

"Look cross my heart,I promise..you can ask,Amy and Clara later if I did. I'm sure Pond won't let me get away with it right?"_

He grinned then. Pushing him towards the door.

"Go to bed, and Rory"_

His friend,turning back.

"No one is going to take Tom away from you. No one. It just takes time this parenting lark,but you will get there_night,sleep well"

"_Night John"_

John waited until the door shut. Sitting .Thinking.

' Never expected that'

Least Rory had opened up to him. Maybe it was the miscarriage,still playing on his mind, if they didn't have another baby this would be their last chance..with Tom?

John had a good relationship with Tom,as he did with Rory. It wasn't a Dad one,more of an Uncle,as it should be. There was also Daisy..the twins..He didn't think Rory resented that he and Clara would be the parents of three soon,but it must hurt,even though he said that he and Amy were glad for them.

Could it be what happened when Rory was three as well? When he lost his Mum just before he had his Parents? Yesterday saying..that Dad had left him with Granny and got on with his job,his life?

Could this be still upsetting Rory? For all he said Dad and he had talked before the wedding. John thinking about having a word with Dad when they went to see him and Granny about how Rory was feeling?

Having made up his mind,John thought he better go and see what Clara and Amy were up to..and also eat something,because he had promised Rory. In fact,was a little hungry.

He got up going out into the kitchen. Amy was loading the dish washer.

"There you are,Raggedy Man"_

"Where's Clara?"_

"Feet up in the lounge,we've eaten,but I will make you an omelette. Rory said,to make sure you ate?"_

"He told you?"

John said then.

"That he's,having an early night? I couldn't persuade him to have supper though"

Amy stopped what she was doing.

"What's happening John? Is Rory alright? Did you find out why he flipped like that?"_

John didn't want to say too much to Amy at the moment.

Not that Rory would keep secrets from her,but he didn't think he would have told her about the jealousy.

"It was more or less what I said Pond..He,was upset over Tom. Plus me winding him up didn't help. I've apologised for that"

Shaking his head.

"I've also put him through a lot this,last week.

With what's happened at the hotel,the help he's giving me with Doctor Barclay"

Sitting down at the table. Sighing.

"I'm sorry,Pond..you don't need this either"

Amy came over then,putting her arms round him. Kissed his head.

"Stop it,John,we both know,by now,you won't stop Rory doing anything. We can only help where we can,right?"

"Hmm"

Amy looking at the top of John's head, while it was at her eye level.

"How is it?"_

Feeling lightly with her fingers..

"Still a little sore,not as bad..Ow Pond!"

Amy's fingers,touching the bump.

"Sorry..sorry,Raggedy Man"_

Kissed his head again.

"Expect it will be better,tomorrow? Now come on,let me make you some supper,then bed...for you and Clara"

Amy making,putting a ham and cheese omelette in front of him. John ate nearly all of it which she was pleased to see..

Wandering in to the lounge where Clara was half asleep on the sofa. Sitting on the edge,kissed her.

"Hello" Yawning. "Have you eaten?"_ Arms round his neck.

"Yeah..just now"_

"Everything okay?"

"Think so,Rory went to bed,but I had a talk to him"

Telling her what happened in the office.

"He more or less was like that with me,earlier in the bedroom. I thought he was alright"

Clara said.

"He will be,most of it was with Tom falling off the wall,it will blow over,but there is_"

John started to say.

"What?"_

"Not sure,think I need to talk to Dad.."

"John?_"

"There is something,Clara from when he was little bothering him,I'm sure of it"_

He rubbed at his head.

Clara sat up then,John sitting next to her putting his arm round her. Telling her about what Rory had said yesterday,and also in his office tonight.

"I don't think he means to be that way with me,as I said he's been great. Not only in the last months,but since I lived with him and Dad"

Looking at Clara.

"Maybe,I'm picking up on things,now I'm remembering?"

Closing his eyes.

"Could be that" Clara said. "John"_

"Hmm?_" half asleep..

"Rory did say to me. That first night we came he'd lost his Mum before you did. Said it didn't hurt. Perhaps he was covering up something?"_

John opened his eyes then..

"That's why I need to talk to Dad..It's time things were talked about,not only for me"_

John yawning. Putting his hand over his mouth.

" Sorry it's time for bed. Are you coming?"

"Yes"_

"Clara"_

Pulling her to her feet.

"Let's keep this to ourselves for now? No need to worry Amy? She might about Rory, if I tell her I'm going to speak to Dad"_

"Kay"_

They both headed upstairs,John calling out as,they went.

"Going to bed now,Pond...Night.."

Amy stood at the kitchen door,t towel in hand..

"Night you two..sleep well..see you in the morning. Thanks,for what you did Raggedy Man,love you"_

John knew,she meant earlier with Rory.

Going over to her pulled her in to a hug.

"He will be okay,they both will. Don't be long Amy,you need your sleep as well,night"_

Moving away, went to join Clara..

"Soon as I've finished tidying up,I'm off to bed"

"Night Amy" Clara called going upstairs with John.

Saturday morning 8am

The two of them lay in bed. Clara was still sleeping. John half asleep. There was a light knock on the bedroom door.

John puzzled sat up.

"Come in?_"

Daisy put her head round the door.

John brightened up at the sight of her.

"Hello sweetie"

Putting out his arms to her.

"Do you want to come in here for a cuddle?"

Daisy nodded,climbing on the bed settling in between the two of them. Trying not to wriggle or bounce so she wouldn't disturb Clara.

John lay still near to the end of the bed giving most of the room to Clara,and Daisy. It went quiet,then...

"John?"_

"Hmm"_

"Is your head better?"_

"Well..it's still there"_

John rubbing at where the bump was. Daisy giggled. Putting her hand up to feel,he let her.

"Think the bump is smaller"_

"Is it? Good.."_

Saying then.

"Is Tom up?"_

"He went in to see Uncle Rory and Auntie Amy"_

Daisy volunteered.

"He did_ good"_.

Hearing a muffled bump,then a bang through the wall. What sounded like Amy's voice..

"Shush,pack it in,you two...Rory behave,your a bigger kid than Tom!"_

John smiling,glad about that for a couple of reasons. Hoping Rory had gotten out of the mood he'd been in yesterday,that it had been sorted about Tom. Also didn't really want an excitable eight year old jumping all over Clara. He didn't think she would appreciate it either.

Clara. Eyes opening,yawned and stretched. Saying..

"What was that noise?"

Seeing Daisy in the middle. Turning to her Mother for a kiss.

"Hello Miss,when did you get here?"

Putting her arms round Daisy..

"Just now"

John saying..Then.

"It was next door...Tom I think.."

Amy's voice on the landing outside then..

"I'm going downstairs,let you two finish your play time..Rory pack it in..big kid you are_That is a bed,not a trampoline!"

Sounds of a door closing.

Clara raising her eyebrows at John. Thinking as he had before. Rory was in a better mood.

"Mummy" Daisy said.

"_Yes Sweetie"

"John said his bump is better,its smaller"

"Is it?_" Clara replied..Tongue in cheek.

"Pity his heads_not!"

"Hey!"_

John said sitting up,forgetting he was near the end of the bed,so fell out!_

Clara and Daisy looked at him,then burst into fits of the giggles.

"Oh great!" _

John said getting up from the floor,rubbing his behind.

"Now I've got a matching one,this end"

This only made,the two in the bed giggle more.

John reached for his dressing gown,but he was smiling..

"Think I'll go and see if Amy's put the coffee,on while you two get over the sillys"_

Putting his tongue out at Daisy,who did back. He went out the door,shutting it behind him,still rubbing his behind.

Rory was stood on the landing,talking to Tom who was at the top of the attic stairs.

"Go on..get dressed. We'll play football after breakfast. I need to put this bedroom back to how it was,before Auntie Amy sees it!"_

"Kay"_ Uncle Rory"

Then seeing John who had come up behind Rory.

"Hiya Uncle John,do you want to play football? Can be in goal if you want... Uncle Rory said we can go to the park_ have a burger_and ice cream_and_"

Tom was talking,not pausing for breath.

"Morning mate" He grinned at Rory who looked behind him.

"Yes,Tom we can do all that..later,it's not nine o clock.

Do what Uncle Rory says,get dressed and we'll see,you downstairs,in a while?"

Tom pulled a face,disappearing from view,both heard his bedroom door open,then close.

Rory turning then to his friend.

"Morning John, I'm knackered,but wouldn't have it any other way.."

"So I heard"

John said with a grin. Thinking of the noises earlier.

"Sorry..did we wake you..?"

"No..Daisy did"_

"Are you okay,John?"

Noticing him rubbing his backside.

"What? 'Its fine.I fell out of bed.."

"You did!?"_

"Don't worry,perils of being in bed with Clara and Daisy. God help me when the twins arrive and their old enough to romp"_

He grinned again at Rory.

"John,are you in a hurry for coffee? Do you think I could have a word?"_

Rory nodded towards the bedroom.

"Sure,mate"_

John following his friend into the bedroom. He shut the door. Noticing the mess. Matress,half off,bedding on the floor,pillows_ There was even a chair upside down!

"I see your still tipping mattresses off beds"_

Nodding at the destruction.

Picking one of the pillows up from the floor,throwing it back towards the bed.

"Never mind that,John" Rory said.

"It's soon tidied up,I do want to talk"

"Okay"

John picking up the chair,then sitting on it. Waiting for Rory to say something else.

Rory,looking at him,opened his mouth,closed it then..

"John, I want to apologise for yesterday. I admit I was being paranoid,especially over Tom"

He sighed.

"I realised that there is no way you would take Tom away from me. Now I've slept on things,thought about it,sounds so stupid"_

"Rory"_ John,stopping him.

"Don't worry about it. Like I told you takes ..time. Think if it had been me,I would have been as bad with my track record for the last months"_

Rory shook his head at him..

"No..I don't think you would have, seem to take to this parenting thing,like a duck to water. Tom,seems to be okay now...That's why I've promised to take him to the park. Burger,icecream whatever he wants?"_

"Rory"_ John said.

"Don't take this the wrong way"_

_"Am I trying to make up to him for yesterday? Maybe,I am..a little. I had a long talk to him,earlier..before we destroyed this room"

Rory sweeping his hand round at the devastation. John raising his eyebrows,at the comment,and the room..

"I decided,he had been punished enough,with him falling from the wall, then making himself sick. That's not saying I wouldn't punish him next time,if he's naughty,and I told him that"

"He might not misbehave" John said.

"John he's an eight year old boy,who I hope is going to be with Amy and me for a very,very long time..I doubt him turning into an angel overnight"

"Yeah,well,we'll see as time goes on"_John said. Then.

"Rory. Can I ask you something?_"

"What?"_

"How do you feel about your Mum? Do you think about her at all?"_

Rory looked at his friend,puzzled. Saying.

"Why are you asking me,that?"_

John skirting round the issue,said.

" No real reason. Yesterday you said to me,Dad had left you with Granny,after she died? I don't think you ever mentioned her before,when we were growing up? Not that I remember"_

Rory shrugged.

"I don't really remember,either. she died. Dad left me with Granny. You came to live with us,I forgot! End of story. Look I don't want to talk about this,John"_!

Rory was getting agitated.

"Yeah..sorry,mate"

Changing the subject..

"Let's tidy up? Then we can go downstairs,have breakfast?"

Not wanting to wind Rory up. There was something his friend wasn't telling him. John was more determined to speak to Dad now.

Helping Rory tidy the room. They both headed down to breakfast.

Clara was sat at the table with Daisy and Tom eating breakfast. Amy was making bacon sandwiches..

"There you both are! Last again!"

Turning round as they came through the door.

"Bacon sandwich,Raggedy Man?"_

"Please Pond"_

Amy putting,one sandwich in front of him,as he sat at the table.

"There's more if you want.."

John pulled a slight face..

"No thanks..this is fine"

Looking over at Rory who had sat down opposite.

"I will eat this,but I don't want anything else,I did eat last night"_

"I know,Amy told me..there are some energy drinks,in the cupboard if you_"

Rory started to say.

John shook his head.

"No thanks..maybe later"_

"I'll hold you to that John. Soup for lunch when we get back from the barber's..right?"

Giving,John a look that booked no nonsense. He sighed. Knew just because they were on holiday,Rory would not let him get away with not eating..picking up the sandwich,bit into it.

Tom looked up.

_"Uncle Rory"

"Yes Tom?"_

"Do I have to have my hair cut?"

"And why not?"_

Rory saying back..

Tom sulking..

_"Don't want that smelly stuff on it!"

Rory with a look across to John. Puzzled.

"Smelly stuff?"_

John shrugged,shook his head,not knowing either.

Amy trying to keep a straight face,coming over to Tom,touched his head saying.

"Tom, I thought,you were looking forward to having your haircut,being a big boy. Uncle Rory will be having his cut as well"_

John chewing,then swallowing the piece of sandwich he'd eaten..

"If he wants,to be bald you mean? I know he went two weeks ago.."

Amy looking at Rory for help.

Rory visited the barber's regularly to keep his hair tidy,for the job that he did. John did until he left working as a solicitor. It was only in the last month that he had let it grow to the length it was now.

Clara had threatened once or twice to cut it so he had paid one reluctant visit to the barbershop in Tadchester. That had been weeks ago.

"Uncle John needs his cutting,Tom.. badly"

Rory added. Looking at John.

"You can hold his hand,he won't go on his own"

"Thanks,mate"_

He heard,John mutter..

Smiling,because he knew of John's reluctance to a haircut. It wasn't only now. When they were little,Dad had to tie,him to the chair. Literally! He'd never keep still.. A story to tell Tom,another day,if they wanted to get him there. Rory shook away the memory.

"Does,he have to have the smelly stuff on?"_

He heard Tom ask ..

"What is this smelly stuff?!"_

He asked looking from Tom,to Amy..

"You know,Auntie Amy,had it on her when she had her hair cut..smelt nice. It's girly..I don't want it"_

The adults looked at him in recognition.

"I had my hair trimmed last week when you were away at the hotel. I took Tom with me after school. I'd forgotten"

Amy said,looking at the two men.

"No Tom"_ She said.

"You don't have to have the smelly stuff" Realising he had meant hair spray.

"Though perhaps..Uncle John can"_

Rory started to say. With a evil look to his friend.

"No thanks " John said.

"Having it cut,is one thing,I draw the line at hair spray"_

Winking at Tom.

"No mate,that's strictly for the ladies"

Finishing his coffee.

"Well I'm going to get dressed,then we'll have half an hour in the garden with the football,we don't have to go until this afternoon. Uncle Rory can go in goal"

John said quickly before he said anything,getting his own back.

"Oh great I'll have to keep my head down!"

Rory replied.

"Cool_ I'll get the ball,it's in my room"

Tom said,getting up to go upstairs for it.

"Daisy sweetie" Clara said. "You should go and get ready if you want to come with Auntie Amy and me"

They were going shopping for the party the next day.

"_Go on,be up myself soon"_

"Okay,Mummy"

Daisy following Tom. The door closed.

The adults started laughing.

"Smelly stuff"_

Rory said.

"What goes through his mind..poor kid,I suppose he hasn't been to have his hair cut before?"_

_"I should imagine that Dad of his cutting it with the kitchen scissors"

Amy added.

Rory looking across at his friend.

"John shall we go and get dressed? Then we can_ Are you okay? John?"_

Rory,leaning across the table. Touched his arm..

John had gone white. His eyes glazed over. Suddenly he was off the chair,into the corner. Curled up,screaming. Shaking his head.

" .DADDY! LEAVE ..ME! " DON' 'T_DO THAT! PLEASE DADDY!"

Hands over his head.

Rory with an anguished look to the two girls. Started towards him. Then Tom's voice came from the hall..

"Uncle Rory,Uncle John..I've got the football!"_

"Oh ! Not now! Not now!"

Rory looking between John and the door Tom was about to come through any second.

_"I'll go"_

Amy said,going to the door,turning back.

"I'll keep them both out of the way. Will you be able to?"

"Yes,Go"_

Rory realising John was having some sort of flashback and they needed to keep Daisy and Tom away until he came out of it. The door closed behind Amy. Rory looked at Clara.

"Rory is he?"_

"Not sure?" _

Looking at the man on the floor now. Arms round his knees,rocking,quietly.

Head down,tears pouring down his face. Saying softly.

" .No_Hate you! Hate you!"_

"This is new. I think?"

Rory getting down on his knees to John. Touched his face.

He flinched at the touch..

"John..Johnnie" He tried.

John wouldn't look at him.

"It's okay. Come on. No one is going to hurt you,I promise"

Rory with a tears in his eyes..tried..

"Do you know where you are? Who I am?"

John's head which had been on his arms came up then. His eyes,red_ seemed to focus back on Rory's face.

"RRory..he_he"_

"John?"_

_"HHe ccut off myy hhair"_!

The words came out in a rush.

"Oh God. John. No! Are you sure?"

Rory couldn't believe it_

The shaking man next to him,proof of that statement.

"YYes.. I hated_ hhate him_hate him"_!

John with his fist in a ball was hitting at Rory,who had his arms round him.

"Hate..him ..Hate him..Hate him!"

"Rory?!"_ Clara frightened at what John was doing,started forward..

"No,Clara,stay there!"

Sensing her behind him. Not wanting her or the babies to get hurt..

"It's alright. I'm okay. Needs to get this out of his system,to let it go. John you hit out,if it makes you feel better? It's alright,I'm here..Hush now_"

John was sobbing..sobbing his heart out. Apart from the first couple of punches,which must have hurt,was only half hitting Rory now,still saying.

'Hate_him..Hate_him..' In between the sobs.

The door opened. Amy came back in. Clara looked at her.

"Daisy,Tom?"

She asked.

"Playing Ludo..told them you were on the phone, will call Tom down to play football when you've finished?_

"Thanks Amy"

Rory still concentrating on John,knew she couldn't do anything else. Amy was worried about John as well.

John had gone quiet..

His head still on Rory's shoulder. Then..

Lifting his head up..

"RRory..?"

"Yes?"_

"I'm sorry"

" You have nothing to be sorry for.."

"I_I hit you"

"Doesn't matter,mate,I said I would be here for you when we started this.."

He moves away from him to look at his face.

"John,do you think you can get up? We can go In the lounge,talk? Unless you don't want to tell us? I can ring Dr Barclay if you would rather talk to him?"_

John shaking his head.

"No,I'm okay"

Rory helping him to his feet. Wiping his eyes. Looking across to Clara,to Amy.

"I'm sorry to be like this. Everything is going wrong..again"

To Rory.

"I don't need Dr Barclay..not yet anyway. I will talk to him when I have my next session. I want to tell..all of you about what I remember"

Rubbing his head..

"I'm so tired of this"

Looking at the three of them.

"You must be as well?"_

He went into the lounge,the others following. John sat in one of the chairs,arms around himself. Clara,sensing he didn't want to be touched at the moment,sat in the other..Rory and Amy on the sofa. It went quiet.

Then. John staring at a spot in front of him.

"It was what Amy said about Tom's Dad cutting his hair with the kitchen scissor? I think triggered it. He_he nearly scalped me that day"

He recalled. Looking up at them.

"He did what!"

Amy because she had been upstairs with Daisy and Tom,hadn't understood what was happening to John. It clicked now. That a throwaway remark had caused his flashback..

"Oh Raggedy Man..I'm so sorry_ I didn't_mean_"

Rory put his arm round her.

"Amy_" He started to say.

John shook his head at them both.

" Rory it's okay. Pond,its not your fault..anyone of you could have said or done anything. Even something I'd done myself,or seen"_

John sighed.

"It happened the week after I'd been in the cellar,that week was lovely...because my Da_I mean _ he was away for a week, business in London"

John screwing up his face trying to remember.

"I think it was too far for him to drive back to Leadworth each night,he stayed over at the London flat. I remember.. you both coming for tea that day_.."

Flashback;

John was sitting at the table having his sandwich before Mummy took him to school. It was only Kindergarten,but he would see Rory and Amy for a few hours,play with them, was looking forward to it. Sometimes it was lonely here on his own.

His Mummy came into the room.

"Have you finished,sweetheart?"_

John nodded.

"Yes thank you,Mummy"

She started to clear the table.

"John,how would you like Rory and Amy to come for tea?"

"Today?"_

John's face lit up,as she knew it would. Changed back to the frightened look.

"But what if "_ He started to say.

"Your Daddy won't be back for a couple of days.

Tell you what,we can ask Rory's Daddy and Amy's Mummy when I take you in to school. If they say it's okay_ Yes..today"

Kissing his head saying.

"Go get your things or we'll be late"_

John went out of the door to go upstairs. His Mother watched him go thinking.

Poor John,she loved him so much. He got so little treats.

Though Mike after the upset of last week had bought him a toy garage,all the cars as well. That was the mystery of it.

Whenever Mike punished John, he seemed to turn the other way later. Play games with him,buying him things,acting like a Father should. She sighed. It usually didn't last. The things got broken,thrown away_

_ Leaving John confused,heartbroken and upset. Not understanding the man she'd married at all. She was still trying to work out what to do.

Could she leave? Just take John and go? Mary was always telling her she had rights. Would it work? Though John was adopted,only the three of them knew,could Mike take him back if he found her?

She hadn't really seen any of the,documents,Mary had signed when he was a baby. If only she,wasn't to frightened to take the first step. Maybe she could ask Rory's Dad for advice?

_"Mummy,I'm ready!"

John called from the hall.

_"Coming baby"_

John chatted all the way to the school. About Rory and Amy coming for tea..What they would eat. Games, he was going to play with them. Was going to show Rory his new toy garage,all the cars in it..

His Mothers heart ached..Hoping that when Mike did come home in a,few days he wouldn't break that as well..For John's sake!

When they got to the school gates, there were small groups of parents chatting..Most of them ignoring John and his Mother. Because Mike Smith was known in Leadworth. Mainly because he liked a drink. They kept away from his family,as well.

'God forbid if they knew he hit his Wife and Child' She thought,would they even care?

Rory and his Dad, Brian were stood talking to Amy and her Mum Tabatha,near the entrance looked up as the two of them came over.

Brian smiled at the timid little boy holding his Mother's hand.

"Hello John,ready for school are you ?"

Touching his face..

John nodded shyly..he liked Rory's Daddy,he didn't smack like his did,though for the last week,it had been all okay. Maybe he was turning into a 'nice Daddy as,well?'

John's Mother noticed Rory near his Dad giving John a resentful look. She knew he had lost his own Mother six months before. Brian had told her,they were getting by,with the help of his Mother. There was something in that child's eyes. Hurt..John's Mother thought..Brian didn't seem to notice.

She asked both parents about Rory and Amy coming for tea,which was agree to. Rory muttered something that sounded like..

"Do we have to? We're going to the tree house"_

This was in Amy's garden.

Amy shoving him with her elbow...

"Shut up! Rory,be nice.."

Smiling..

"Thank you Mrs Smith,we'd like that very much,tea and play with John."

Saying to Rory as they walked into the school.

_"Besides we get to see where John lives"

Rory just looked bored.

John following the other two,after his Mother kissed him on the head saying,she would pick the three of them up at four. Returning Rory and Amy home about half past six,to the two parents.

After waving to the three children she,turned round started to walk back towards the gate to go home. Brian was in front of her. Amy's Mum had stopped to talk to one of the teachers near the school door.

Brian turned at the gate entrance as she followed.

"Tabatha needs to sort out about the school fete"

Nodding back to Amy's Mother.

"So,I see"_

Then he noticed the worried look on her face.

"Is everything okay? _ "

Plucking up the courage.

"Brian..could I talk to you,maybe?"

Shaking her head. Turning.

"_No I hate to bother you,it doesn't matter.."

She started to walk away. Brian putting his hand on her arm.

"Carol? Are you okay? Is it John? Talk to me please.."

Pointing to a bench that was across the road from school gate.

"Shall we sit over there? We can talk?"

She nodded her consent.

They both crossed the road,and sat down.

"Now"_ Brian said.

"How can I help? Like I said,are you both okay? I've been worried for weeks now,that something is wrong"_

Surprised at the statement. Carol said.

"You_you have?"

Brian nodded.

Carol had looked away,then back at him said.

"_You know my husband?"

"Only by reputation"

Brian said.

"Not the most friendly of people I've met in my time here in Leadworth.."

He laughed.

_"Sorry usually everyone gets on here,but"_

"That's alright,I'm use to his ways,how he is with me.

We had only been married five years before we moved here.

He doesn't exactly warm..to people"

She said with a dry laugh.

"Like I said,how he is with me I can put up with..but how its affecting John..I need to do something"

She added.

"_And soon"

Brian said then.

"Carol does he hit you? Or God forbid..John?"_

"He spanks,John" She admitted.

Not daring to tell him of the other punishments inflicted on John. The locking him in the cellar,though it had only been twice..the breaking of his toys. If this didn't go right..and social services got involved.

They still had to live with Mike,or God forbid..they took John away into care. She couldn't lose him_she couldn't!

"I know that it seems an old fashioned way now,but I think it's the way Mike was brought up.. I don't agree with it myself,but I_I can't go against him. Not if I stay here"

"And you are thinking of,leaving?"_ Brian said slowly.

"You do have,rights,especially if you are being abused by him"

" I would go tomorrow,if it was only me,but I'm scared if I do he won't let me take John"

"Your his,Mother..you have rights,like I said.."

Brian was puzzled. Much as he want to help,thought a lot of John. He could hardly take the woman in. It was to close to home.

"Don't you have a sister who's a solicitor? Could you not go to her? There's injunctions,things to stop your husband"_

He started to say.

Carol shaking her head.

"That wouldn't stop him,if anything I think it would give him more rights,than me"

When Brian looked at her in more puzzlement.

"John's adopted" She said.

"We couldn't have children. It was done legally from an agency,but Mike sorted our all the formalities. I never signed anything"

Thinking. 'Well my sister's his real Mother' She didn't want to tell Brian that,or even admit it to herself at times.'John was hers'

"You think your husband will have more of a claim to John,if you do go?"_

"I'm not sure,but I don't want to take a chance. I can't lose him,John's all I have!"

She said in anguish.

"I did threaten to go last year,it was only because he wouldn't let me take John,that I didn't follow it through"

Brian shook his head.

"I don't really know what else to tell you. Only you can decide.I wish there was a miracle I could work for you"

Carol smiled.

"It was good of you to listen,Brian,in away it as helped"

Getting up then,saying..

" Must go, l have things to do before I come back to pick up the kids" Smiling.

"John wants a special tea.."

Looking at the man in front of her still sat on the bench.

_"Brian, how are things with you?"

"I'm fine. I get up..go up to London to my job..come home,go to bed.

Do it all again the next day and the next,I don't have to ..think"

He was looking into the distance.

Carol knew he was missing his wife,as he'd loved her a great deal. She remembered the two of them in the village before Brian had moved the three of them to London because of his job. They were back,permanently,because he need help to look after Rory.

"And how's Rory coping?"

Brian seemed confused by the question.

"Rory's..Rory_ Gets on with things. He misses his Mother of course. Doesn't seem to make friends easy.. even before Julie. Though he as..Amy"

He shook himself.

"Well I'd better get on. I'll see you later when you drop Rory back. Carol if your in real trouble especially with John,you know where I am?"

Giving her a look..

Knowing he meant if Mike..did hurt John..Surely he wouldn't..A spanking was one thing. She made up her mind.

"I think I know what to do now" She said softly..

"Thanks Brian.."

She walked away.

Later 4pm

Carol was waiting at the school door when the three children came out.

John came out first,blue paint all over his chin and hair..painting in his hand.

"Look Mummy,it's you and Auntie,that's the sky and..."

He was babbling away..

"That's lovely sweetheart...there is more paint on you than the paper" She laughed.

"That's Rory's fault"_

Amy volunteered.

"He pushed John's hand in the blue paint,then it sort of went everywhere,but the paper"

"Well he wouldn't stop talking! Sick of hearing about his garage and toy cars.."

Rory was still sulky,as he had been three hours before. There was blue paint on him and Amy as well..

Carol smiled.

Rory to her mind,seemed well_ jealous. Was it because Brian didn't seem to notice him or the attention Amy was giving to John at the moment? Watching her take John's hand now.

"Come on,John..I want to see your garage,even if he doesn't"

Putting her tongue out at Rory. Walking on with John.

Rory followed with Carol.

When they got back to the house, she sent the three of them to wash the paint off in the downstairs bathroom.

Amy looked round with interest.

"Your bathroom's downstairs?"

Washing her hands with the pretty soap that smelt of roses.

"There is one upstairs as well"

John said then..

"Oh trust him to be posh.. !"

Rory said petty.

"Stop it Rory,it's not John's fault!"

Amy rounded on him.

"What is the matter with you...? Come on,John's Mum will think we've gone home and taken him with us.."

"He's not playing with us tomorrow.."

Rory said.

Stood in front of the two with his arms folded.

"Had enough of him today.."

Looking to John.

John's lip trembling. Amy shook her head at Rory.

"Well,if you don't buck your ideas up Rory Williams. Perhaps I don't want to play with you?!"_

Taking John's hand.

Come on John,let's go and see if teas ready. Then you can show me your 'garage and cars'"

"But it's boys toys"_

Rory said following the two out to the kitchen.

"Well I've got a dolls house at home,but I don't play with it! You do!"

Amy said to him,over her shoulder.

Rory going bright red at the suggestion..

"I do not!_"

"There you are"

Carol said.

" Teas ready_ hope you're all hungry?"

"Starving" Amy said down at the table next to John.

"This looks lovely Mrs Smith"_

Looking at the spread of sandwiches,cakes,there was even a trifle.

"Well I wasn't sure what you liked. So I did some of everything"

Carol said,pouring out glasses of Orange squash for the three of them.

"_Go on,help yourselves..it's got to be eaten"

When they were half way through. Carol heard the front door,open,close, then footsteps coming down the hall.

'Oh God ..no'_ she thought.

The door to the kitchen opened. Mike Smith stood there. The atmosphere could have been cut with a knife..!

All was quiet..then Carol stood up.

_"Mike,you're home,I wasn't expecting you until the day after tomorrow"

She was stammering..

"That much is evident"_

He said sarcastically..

"Why has John got blue paint in his hair,and more to the point"

Nodding towards Rory and Amy.

"_What the hell are those two doing here..? I've told you I don't want him playing with them"_

Amy started up from her chair ..

Going toward the man..Smiling.

"Mr Smith,I'm Amy Pond,it's ver_"

She started to say.

Mike Smith rounded on her. Stood in front of her..

"_SHUT UP!" Didn't your parents tell you you should be seen and not heard?"

"Hey don't you talk to her like that!"

Rory stood in front of her.

"I will talk to whoever I like in my house little boy!"

John,frightened, sat on his chair looked ready to cry.

"Carol,I want you to take them,home..now!"

"Okay..Mike.."

She put out her hand to John.

"Sweetheart,do you want to come with me?"

"No! Leave John..he can stay here with me"

When she hesitated..

"Leave him..I will see to him ..go.."

Carol hurried to the door with the two children.

Amy said..

"I will see you tomorrow,John,bye"

Even Rory was giving him a sympathetic look,as they went out.

"I will be as quick as I can,Mike"_

The door closed,which left John on his own with his Dad.

"Well,well"_ He said looking at the food on the table.

"So you were,having a tea party with your little friends?"

"YYes Sir" John giving him a frightened look.

Mike was calm. He was stroking John's head.

Pulling at his fringe..

"We need to get this paint out,your mother,doesn't look after you_"

Tutting, shaking his head..

Suddenly he was grabbing John,holding him in a vice like grip!

Even John wasn't sure what was happening at first..thought he was in for a spanking..Then Mike grabbed a pair of scissors that were on the side table.

Started to cut at John's hair !

John was screaming and screaming...

"_DADDY.. NO..!"_PLEASE NO!

He was trying to get away from him..

Mike held him until he cut his fringe short... then John managed to turn and ..he bit his hand, Mike let go!

"You little,_fucking sod.._!"

Mike went to grab for him again,but John was off down the hall as the front door opened,Carol came back in as John ran towards,her Mike following..

"MMummy"_He_he"

John couldn't breathe..The room was going round and round.

Falling in her arms..

" What the hell have you done to him?"_ Mike..What have you done!"_

"Well he had blue paint in his hair.I just got rid of it.." John heard as he fainted.

Present Day:

John sat still in the chair tears,streaming down his face.

Amy with a look to Rory got up going over, kneeling down in front of him,putting her hands,on his face. She was in tears as well. Arms round him..

"Raggedy Man,John,I'm so sorry!

We,should never have left you!"

John with his head on Amy's shoulder said.

"No.. ..Neither of you could have done anything"_

Looking up over at Rory,who was white face, shocked.

"I should have done,more..tried to tell..Dad?" John I remember more about that day..Your Mum couldn't get Amy and me out of there fast enough"

"Rory"_ John sitting up from Amy wiping his face.

"I don't want you or Amy feeling guilty about this"

He squeezed her hand.

"I need you both..now..to get on with my life..Please"

He was begging.

"John I will be here.. I'm just sorry I wasn't then..I was so mean and selfish.."

Going over to his friend,kneeling down to put his arms,round him.

John shook his head.

"Rory..don't..the blame game works both ways"_

Rory moved slightly away from him.

"I think I understand what your Mum meant that day now? What she said to Dad when she dropped me home.

John looked at him. Not understanding.

"Rory,what?"_

"She said. I can't leave John,nor can I live with Mike. Please look after him for me. It's either me or Mike! Please help My Mary look out for him"

Rory rubbed his head.

Standing Helping Amy up.

"I didn't understand at the time, then I forgot..I bloody forgot_!

Perhaps she was going to do something..drastic?"

"Maybe" John said,sighed.

"That we'll never know,because the car crash killed them both a month later"_

Looking across to Clara..Who had been sat listening to the exchange between the three of them.

"Are you sure you still want to marry this nut job?"

Putting his arms out to her,she got up went to sit on his knee, arms around him.

"Oh,yes I do.."

Turning his face towards her.

"And stop saying that..

"John Smith..I love you very much!"

She kissed him, her head against his. Then.

"I think I will go and get dressed..Tom will be wondering what's,happening.."

He laughed. Looking at his watch.

" That must be the longest phone call..ever..it's ten thirty"

They had been talking over an hour..

"Still" He said. Standing up with Clara.

"We've got time for a kick about with Tom before we go to the barber's?"

"John,if you don't want to have your hair cut today.."

Rory started to say.

"I _we understand why_"

John shaking his head.

"No. I'll go..I want things normal,can you imagine the length this will be in six weeks?"

Pulling his hand through his fringe.

"..Normal?" Patting his friend on the shoulder.

"_Normal.." Rory said back grinning at John.

Who went out the door,saying.

"Get dressed. I'll get Tom,see you in the garden,mate.."

Clara followed him.

That left Rory and Amy on their own. He sat down on the sofa. Head in his hands.

"Rory,are you alright?"

She asked him softly. Looked up held his hand out to her. Both had been shocked by the revelations,of the last hour. Sitting next to him.

"Amy..What do you see in me? John,he_"

Rory started to say.

_"Has forgiven you_" Amy finished for him.

"Sweetheart, he needs us now. I had forgotten some of what came out today as well. How mean and nasty John's so called Dad was"

Touching his face.

"I had also forgotten how,hurt and upset you were over your Mum at the time,as well.

_And as for what I see in you.I see a,lovely man who will do anything for his,family and friends"

She finished,looking him in the eyes.

"Especially his best friend.

Now how about going to get dressed and enjoying your time with John and your son?"_

"Okay"_

He kissed her,getting up and going towards,the door.

Turning back.

"Amy,I think I need,to talk to Dad"

Seeing the look on her face as he said that.

"I want to talk to him_ need to? I also think he knew more about John than he,told us..I'll get dressed"

The door closed behind him.

Next Chapter:

Visit to the barber's ..

Maybe more revelations..

But from who..

Please review..


	84. Chapter 84

Return to Love

Chapter 84

When Rory came back downstairs,John and Tom were in the garden kicking the football back and forth to each other. He stood watching them both from the patio doors.

' Have got to stop,this jealousy' He said to himself..'You told John earlier,that he wasn't going to take Tom away' Rory realising if he didn't,it would sour his friendship with John..There was no way he wanted that..

John looked up then,spotting him.. Coming over.

"There you are,mate..Rory are,you okay?"_ noticing the look on his friends face.

Rory shook himself. Smiled..

"Yeah..yeah..it's fine,just wondering,which one of you is going to knock my block off first..You or Tom?"_

"Well maybe you'll remember to 'duck' this time? I think a bump on the head for each of us is enough by Tom"

John grinned at him.

Rory's face had clouded over again.. glancing over at Tom who was now kicking the ball by himself at the end of the garden.

"I'd rather you didn't mention that to him,John..he got upset when he flattened me the other day"

Shaking his head.

_"And after what he did to you yesterday"

"Rory,you can't wrap him in cotton wool for the rest of his life,things happen"

"I know..but,I can't let the same thing ._"

Rory started to say.

John sighed.

"Rory,mate..you are going to have to let go of the guilt..of how,things were thirty years ago. I still have things to sort in fact.."

Hoping his friend wouldn't take what he was going to say next,the wrong way.

"I think you should talk to Dr Barclay as well. Maybe you would benefit from it?"

"Yeah I was thinking the same,John"

Looking over to Tom who was now making his way towards,them with the football.

"We'll talk,okay. Later?"

John nodded.

Rory to Tom..

"Alright,suppose I'm in goal.."

He walked to the end of the garden.

Later..Marios Barber's Chelsea High Street.

Mario was of Italian descent. His Father had started the barber shop back in the 1960s,after he came to England. When he died ten years ago, Mario had modernised the business. Rory had just started at Masters and had done the legal work. Through this they had become good friends.

Rory walked into the shop,followed by John and Tom.

"Back again..Rory,it can't have grown that much in a fortnight?"

Looking up from the newspaper he had been reading..

Rory smiled.

"It's not me that needs,a cut,I've brought you a couple of customers"

Nodding to the two behind him.

"Hello Giovanni long time since I've seen you,looks it as well,must be nearly what,four months?"_

Mario getting up, folding the newspaper,pushing John's fringe back from his face.

"Something like that"'

John thinking it was just before he resigned after his bust up with Sue.

"Mario,nice to see you too"

John grinned, pushing Tom in front of him.

"This is Tom"

"So this is Rory's son? I've heard lots about

You Tommaso"

Taking his hand.

Tom looked up at John in puzzlement.

"Uncle John what does"_

"Its your name in Italian,mate..Thomas. Mine is Giovanni,it means John,but Uncle Rory..is still Uncle Rory.."

"Oh"_

Tom looked at the man holding his hand saying.

"I don't mind having my hair cut,like Uncle...what you said,but no smelly stuff..right?"

_"Er smelly stuff"

Mario looking to the two men for an explanation.

Rory saying "Yes well"_

Trying to keep a straight face leaving it to John to tell the tale of Amy's visit to the hairdressers.

"I see"_

Mario said after John had told about Amy and hair spray...

"Well..I don't have that,what I do have is.."

Mario going across to the counter on the other side of the room. Turning round with a jar in his hands.

"Lollipops"_

Tom's face lit up at that. So did John's.

"Maybe after"_ Rory started to say.

Thinking it might be a ploy to get the two of them to sit still. The look John gave him. (Mario knew he was a figit as well!)

"Oh alright_ one each_and only one! John..you have got to eat lunch when we get back"_

"I know..bossy"_ John said in good humour.

Sticking a red lollipop in his mouth.

Tom choose a green one.

Rory shook his head..

"Who do you want first,Mario?"

Marveling at the silence,wondering if he could get Amy to buy some lollipops next time she went shopping.

He went to sit down picking up Mario's newspaper,as John sat in the chair to go first. Rory was watching his face through the mirror in between looking at the newspaper. Remembered the flashback from earlier this morning,was still worried about John.

"_Okay?" He mouthed at him.

John nodded back,taking the lollipop from his mouth sticking a red tongue out,at him.

Rory shook his head. So far so good.

Sometimes he wondered if the child in John was still there because of what he'd suffered at the hands of his so called Dad. Not that he wanted to change anything about his friend.

He just wanted John to be well,happy,to have a good life.

Besides,when it mattered..John could be counted on in a crisis. God knows there had been a few of them in the last months!

" There all done.."

Mario's voice said then.

Rory looked up,from his thoughts..

"You mean he actually sat still?"

Noticing then, in the mirror John was sat with his eyes closed,and was,shaking slightly. Rory got up going over,put a hand on one his friends shoulders.

"John?"_

John opened his eyes,looked back at him. The lollipop still in his mouth.

Taking it out said.

"I_I _have hair..it's,still t_there"_

Rory putting an arm round his shoulder,bending so he was at John's eye level,said.

"Course you have..silly sod.. It's you again..Least Clara can see who she's marrying now.."

Mario if he thought this conversation,strange,didn't comment.

He knew John hadn't been well because Rory had mentioned it,but not the why.

It was none of his business.

Put it down to the split from his wife,then her sudden death. Mario was just glad he had met Clara, was happy again going to,be a father.

Somethings Rory had told him.

"Coffee's made,if you and Giovanni want one,while I cut Tommaso's hair?"

Tom looking up from the comic he was reading..

"Aw! Uncle Rory..this was just getting good..."

Rory was about to say something back to him..when Mario said.

"Tommaso,if you can sit as still as Uncle Giovanni,did I will let you take the comic home,and two lollipops..How about that?"_

"Yeah"_

Tom getting in the chair John had just got up from.

Rory had never seen him so eager.

To Mario.."Thanks"_

To John.

"Mate..shall we?"

Nodding over to the lounge area.

The two men went over to the lounge, which was set up like a mini coffee bar.

Mario always had the coffee pot on the go,it was all part of the service he offered.

It was,why he had a good eye for business. It brought the clients in and back again.

Rory putting two coffee's on the table in front of John,who had been quiet since they had moved over. Apart from the remark about his hair! He could hear Mario chatting to Tom,his giggles at something he must have said..

"John,mate are you okay?"

"WWhat..?"

John looked at his Friend.

"_Yeah,yeah" He said.

"Rory?"_

"Yes"_

"I nearly went into a panic,but it went away"

"Well,that's good, the meds are helping?"

"Maybe" John said. Taking a slow breath..

"l_didn't see Mario..,saw..him..that's why I closed my eyes.. if I couldn't see,he wasn't there!"

Rory thought it was good that John was talking...even to him. Touched his hand.

"You have made the first move,John by having your hair cut. Like I said the other day.

You are not letting him win. Right? Here"

Pushing the cup towards him.

"Drink this. How do you feel now?"

_"I'm not hearing the voice if that's what you mean?"_

John said back to him. Snappy.

"I didn't mean th_"

Rory started to say.

"Perhaps you think I'm going dolally,again?!"

Cutting him off,John rounded on his friend. Starting up so suddenly that his hand knocked the cup,coffee spilling all over the table and his trousers.

"Oh bloody hell!"_

John jumped up.

_"John!"

Rory grabbed a couple of dish cloths,wiping the mess from the table,handing one to John.

"Here it doesn't look to bad,think the table got most of it_

John!_"

_"What?"_

John who was dabbling at the stain on his trousers,looked up at his friend.

"Sit down..Shut up and listen"_

Rory saying in a voice that booked no argument.

John opened his mouth,but there was something in Rory's face thought he better do as he was told. He sat.

"Now" Rory said putting another coffee in front of John.

" I wasn't going to say anything about you hearing the voice,but because you mentioned it,I have to ask..Did you?"

Giving John a look that said.

'Don't you lie to me'

John shrugged, didn't answer,at first..

"Well,John?"_

Rory asked.

"No..on my life,Rory I didn't hear the voice"

John sighed.

" Think I expected to..that's,why I said it,because last time I saw..him,the voice followed"

Looking at his friend.

"But not this time,I'm sorry I had a go at you,I don't mean to"

"Okay,John,apology accepted. Like I said yesterday, I know it's hard but,If you get upset..worked up,that's,when you will get into a panic"

Rory paused.

"Though,after what happened this morning.

Its good that the panic went away,right? It's,something to tell Dr Barclay next time.

Its progress"

Tom came running over then. Sitting on his knee.

"Uncle,Rory,look! I've got two comics..and four lollipops!"

"I thought you said two lollipops?"

Rory looking at Mario,his hand brushing over Tom's short hair..

"Uncle Mario said I could have two for Daisy,

and she might like a comic as well"

"Uncle Mario?"_

John asked looking at his friends face,knowing of the jealousy especially concerning Tom.

"You don't mind?"

Mario asked.

"Not at all"

Rory smiled looking from John,to Mario,knowing he'd have to try and let other people have a share in Tom.

"In fact,Mario we're having a party.

A barbecue,tomorrow.

It's,a sort of welcome party for Clara,Daisy and Tom.

You and Sophia,will be very welcome"

"Yeah please come" John added cheekily..

Getting up..going over towards the counter where the lollipop jar was still open..Reached in..And..

"Bring yourself and lollipops"_

Pinched two. Rory shaking his head. Getting up to take them from him.

"It's time to go,until ..you have eaten lunch..that is enough sugar for now,right John?"_

Rory was about to put them back,but seeing the look on John's face,relented putting them in his pocket.

"Okay..Later. But only if you eat?"

Thinking it might be a way to get John to have his lunch.

Bribery..

'How many kids have I got?' He thought as Tom headed to the door,with a..

"Bye,Uncle Mario,thank you..see you tomorrow"

Showing John his comics as he went.

"_Bye Tommaso"

"How much do I owe you,Mario?"

Rory taking his credit card out of his wallet..

"Nothing.."

"What? But,You?"

Mario looking at the man in front of him.

"Rory it was a pleasure to meet Tommaso,I really enjoyed talking to him..reminds me of my son at that age. Seeing Giovanni again. I'm glad he seems well,for this time..It's on me..okay?"_

"Well,if your sure?"

"Yes,I hardly think it will break my business"

Pushing Rory's card back at him.

"On me..Rory"

"Thanks"_

Rory said putting his wallet back in his pocket.

"See you tomorrow,about four?"

"Bye Rory,till then"

He went to follow the other two out.

Rory and Amy's half an hour later:

When they got back to the house Amy,Clara and Daisy were back from the shopping trip.

Tom talking nineteen to the dozen with tales of Uncle Mario and his shop. How he had been called Tommaso instead of Tom.

"Even Uncle John's name was different,but not Uncle Rory's. How do you say it?"

Looking over at John.

"Giovanni" John said back to him.

"Where's Daisy?" He asked then.

"Upstairs. Drawing I think"

Clara,answered.

"Tom shall we go and tell Daisy we're back? You can give her the lollipops and the comic?"

Moving towards the door.

Tom following.

"John" Rory said.

"Lunch in half an hour,those lollipops are for Daisy and Tom,you have_"

"Yeah,have to eat. I know. What do you take me for,pinching the kids sweets"

Trying to look cross,but couldn't keep up the pretence.

"Besides"_ He grinned. "You've got mine in your pocket?

Rory taking the two out.

"You mean these?" Waving them at him.

John coming over to take them.

Rory moved away from him.

"Ah..I don't think so,John..lunch first then you can have these. Okay?"

John pulled a slight face,but didn't say anything other than.

"Oh alright,I'll be upstairs with Daisy and Tom,call me when lunch is ready Pond?"

Looking over at Amy.

"Okay Raggedy Man,Soup and a sandwich in half an hour"

Going out the door,looked back.

John opened his mouth to say something,but changed his mind. Following Tom.

He knew they were going to talk about how he'd been since his flashback this morning,expected it.

He didn't want to be there while they discussed him. Rubbing at his face_'God how much more! _What else did he do to me? Do I want to know?'

"Uncle John?"

Tom stood at the top of the attic stairs waiting.

"Yeah,mate,coming"

John went to join him,shutting the door.

Meanwhile;

Waiting until the door shut,Amy said. Looking at her husband.

"Well how did it go?John seems alright"

"He is,though he did have a slight wobble,which I sort of expected,given what happened today"

Telling the girls what had gone on at Mario's.

"Thank God for lollipops"

Rory sitting down at the table next to the girls.

"It may be what kept him calm.I know he has to eat,but a little bribery?"_

Picking up the two from where he'd put them in the middle of the table.

"_You know,John and Sugar?"

Amy got up then.

" Its gone two. I'll make the three of you some lunch, you must be hungry Stupid Face? I know Tom will be"

Smiling..

"He looks like a proper little boy with his new haircut..reminds me of John, when he came back home to Leadworth. Do you remember Rory? How long his hair was then?"

"Hmm,you managed to persuade him to wash,and cut it"

Rory thinking out loud.

"He wouldn't let us near him,Dad and me,not at first,only Amy"_

Looking to Clara. Rubbing at his head.. Then..

" I'd forgotten how he was..the first days.. till now.."

Flashback;

After his Dad had gone,Rory took John into the house. He'd stopped crying,which Rory was glad about,because he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Granny was in the kitchen, stirring something, in a pan.

Turning the cooker off,came over to the two boys.

"There you are..Rory,why don't you show John where the bathroom is,and his bedroom?"

Touching John's face. He flinched away from her.

"No_no wwant Mmummy,Auntie?"_

He looked round in hope. Realising neither was there,burst into fresh tears.. Which turned into screams..

"JOHN..Come on its ok_"

Rory tried to put his arms around John,he pushed him away.

"NO_ NO..DDON'T WANT YYou_I WAN_!" Screaming..

"Oh dear"_ Granny tried.. as well..

"Come on,little one..it's all going to be alright_"

Trying to put her arms round him.

John was having none of it,threw himself to the floor in a tantrum. Screaming and kicking..

"_NO..GO AWAY I WANT..MMUMMY.._!

Then the doorbell rang..

"RORY SEE IF YOU CAN.."

Pointing to John,over the noise.

_"While I answer the door"

"But_ Granny he won't let me_!"

"TRY!_ She said in exasperation.

The door bell went again.

"I'll be back in a minute!"

Going down the hall opened the front door,Amy stood on the step a carrier bag in her hand. Smiling at the woman in the doorway.

"_Hello Granny,we came home early,Mummy wasn't very_"

She started to say..All that could be heard was screaming and crying..

Amy looking down the hall at the noise.

Then back to Granny.

"That's not Rory is it?"_

"No_No it's,John,you know little Johnnie Smith..Amy I can't stop him crying he's on the floor in the kitchen,I have to"_

Indicating towards the kitchen.

Amy following the harassed woman inside shutting the door.

"John?_

Thought he was in London with his Aunt? After what..happened?"

Both Rory and her knew about John's parents being killed in the car crash,the month before,their parents had explained.

That he had to go and live with his Auntie Mary.

"He was. Brian said he would take him for a while,because of her work commitments. He needs...company.I think it's going to take time..and patience..Lots of that"

Sighing. Rubbing at her forehead..

"We'd better go in,Rory's trying to stop him crying.."

Amy followed Granny into the kitchen. John was still on the floor,kicking and screaming..

Having the Mother of all tantrums.

Rory was kneeling,trying to pacify him.

"Please John! it's alright!"_

He looked up to see who had come back in. Seeing it was Amy.

"Your back..." Eyes pleaded to her..'Do something'

"He ..won't stop"_

Amy putting the bag in her hand down.

Going over kneeling.. Hand on John's head.

"John,come on hush now it's okay.."

"W_ want want Mmummy" John wailed.."Want AAuntie"

"I know. Auntie will come and see you soon.

You are going to stay here with Rory and his Daddy. We can play..together..the three of us,think of the fun we'll have?"_

Granny looking to the little girl not much older than the little boy on the floor,but he seemed to be listening to her.'Yes,she would be good for John as she was for Rory'

Never was she so pleased that Tabitha must have had one of her migraines,which was why Amy was back home early from the holiday.

John turning over towards Amy was clinging to her.

He was still sobbing slightly,but seemed to be calming down. Amy was making shushing noises and singing..kissed his head.

"_Twinkle twinkle, little star..how I wonder what you are_Up above_"

Softly to him. Her arms round him rocking him..

"_Hush..it's okay_We'll look after you"_

Present Day;

"Sticks of rock!"

Amy said..looking at the other two sat at the table.

"What?" _

Rory looked up in puzzlement,from talking about the past.

"I brought you two back from my holiday,but I told John one was for him. He never questioned how I would have got it to him,if he hadn't come back to Leadworth"_

"Yes..well,I was glad you were there,that day,because he wouldn't listen to me or Granny..I really thought that was the tantrum to end them all!

Dad was at work.."Always at work"..

He muttered bitterly.

Clara raised her eyebrows at the last comment.

She didn't think Amy had heard. Maybe John was right,there was something.. with Rory and his Dad?

"Stupid Face,he listens to you..now"

Amy said.

"Yeah...It's taken thirty years"_Rory looked to the door,

Then back to Clara..

"He will kill me..telling you his deep dark secrets,but I think you should get to know him,as we have"

Smiling at Amy, as she sat,taking her hand across the table.

"Like I said..Amy was the one,he would listen to. Dad later because I think he wanted a proper Daddy..like mine..I just didn't realise it until what came out at his sessions with Dr Barclay"_

Rory shook his head at the memories..

"Amy managed to get him into the shower, persuaded him to let Granny cut his hair...Auntie told Dad he wouldn't wash or go to school,do anything for her. Everything was ..No!"_

Clara added.

"John mentioned some of this to me after we came to see you about his divorce,Rory"

"School was the next thing,because that year,we all started infants.

God knows how he would have coped if he'd stayed in London. He didn't make friends easy"

"He wasn't bullied though"

Amy, looking to Rory. ."We saw to that"

"Amy threatened to beat up anyone who tried to punch either of us"

Rory smiling at his wife.

"Everyone should have an Amy..kind hearted and with a great right hook!"

"Hey"_

She said pretending to smack his face,but just touched it.

"You Stupid Face"_ Softly.

Rory's mobile rang.

Taking it out of his pocket.

"It's Dad"_ He said in puzzlement. Answering it.

"Hi Dad"_ Getting up.

Going towards his office door.

"I'll make you something to eat.."Amy called after him.

"We're all fine. Everything okay with you Dad?"

Rory with a hand over the phone.

"Won't be long"_

Went inside,shutting the door behind him.

"I'll get John,once he gets upstairs with Daisy and Tom,he'll forget to eat"

Clara said getting up, going towards,the stairs..turning back.

"Amy?"_

"Yes?"

"I didn't know him then,and I still have lots to find out about John.

Thank you for what you both did"

Smiling at the woman still sat at the table.

"He can be such a pain in the back side,_but that's one of the things I love about him"_

"Clara" Amy said.

"So do we.I was pleased to do it,I'm glad he had Rory and me.

He needed us then,and he still does now"

She finished.

"Some of the time"

Nodding towards,the stairs.

"Go get Rageddy Man,tell him he as come and eat or I will ...hide all the Jammy Dodgers"_!

She threatened..

_"Somewhere he'll never_ ever find them!"

Clara grinning as she went upstairs. Knowing Amy would too.

Half an hour later;

Rory came back into the kitchen,deep in thought..

Everybody else was sat at the table.

John had been persuaded to come to eat lunch by Clara.

Tom was on his third sandwich. John had hardly touched his first.

"Rory,are you okay?"

John asked.

"What?"

Rory looking up from his thoughts.

"Yeah..that was Dad"

"Amy said he phoned,how is he?"_

" Okay. He's coming up to London tomorrow to see an old friend from where he worked at the wine importers"

Brian had retired the year before,from his job.

Rory looking to Amy.

"I know we have a houseful for tomorrow night,so he will be staying with his friend. He's going to call into see us though"

"Rory it's fine"_

Amy said back.

"Means he gets to meet Clara and the others sooner.

It's also an age since he's seen you Raggedy Man"

Looking to John who was breaking up the sandwich on his plate.

"If you don't want that sandwich,I can make you something else? Some soup?"

"No thanks Pond,I'm not really hungry..Sorry"

John said with a guilty look to Rory.

Pushing the plate away..

"Its alright,John" He said back.

"Least you tried..Maybe later hmm?"_

John nodding.

"I don't really feel like eating at the moment"

Shaking his head.

I don't feel sick or anything,not hungry, yet..maybe later."

Trying to explain how he was feeling.

Rory reaching across the table. Touched his hand.

"Hey,..I won't force you,prehaps it's because .."

"Yeah..okay I know what's happened today!"

John replied,irritable,pulling away from his friend. Not wanting to talk about the flashback earlier.

"John?"_

Rory noting the stubborn look on John's face,maybe an argument starting. Looking to Amy for support.

Clara had taken the two children into the lounge to watch a film they wanted to see.

"_Okay John,what's the problem?"

"Why should there be a problem..Rory?"

John shrugged,turning away from him.

Rory turning him back to face him again.

"Oi..come on..what is it,and don't give me that look..I will keep on until you tell me,John"_

John defeated. Looking between Rory and Amy.

"I'm sorry..I don't mean to take my bad mood out on the two of you..it's just "_

"_John?" Rory again.

"I think it's time I told Clara about Will. What happened with Daisy?"

"Oh I see,so we'll tell her.I promised didn't I?"

Rory said..

John sighed. Shaking his head.

"But when..ten minutes before we see him on Monday? How? I'd rather not in front of the kids,especially Daisy!"_

Amy said.

"Well,that's soon remedied,Raggedy Man..I'll take them to the park for an hour?"

Looking at Rory. He nodded.

"Should be enough"_

"Then you and Rory can talk to her,okay?"_

Amy getting up.

"I'll go and get them. See you both later?

Kissing Rory,and John both on the head.

Then talking to the children in the hall,five minutes later.

"Auntie Amy,why can't we all go?"

Tom's voice asked.

"No Tom, Auntie Clara is having a rest. Both your Uncles have work to do,you'll see them when we get back.

You'll have to put up with me.

Come on let's go...Bye boys!"_

She shouted..

"Yeah..see you soon,Amy"

Rory called back.

They both heard the front door,open then close. All was silent.

Rory looked at John.

"Well,mate..shall we do this?"_

John nodded. Getting up,following him into the lounge.

Clara was sat in one of the armchairs,feet up on a stool.

When the two men came in said.

"_You stay and rest Clara. Amy didn't want me to go with her and the kids,to the park..Why?"_

Noticing the looks John and Rory were giving each other.

_"What's going on?"_

'This as gone on long enough'

John thought,opening his mouth,but nothing came out.

Rory said. Going to sit on the arm of the chair.

" Let me start to explain..John? Then you can_"

John nodded.

" I wish you would..one of you..!" Clara started to say. She was getting exasperated.

She knew something was wrong,but what?

"Clara..it's nothing to much to worry about..we can sort it.."

Rory was saying.

"Oh for God shakes! Your both solicitors..just tell me! What is going on!? Stop going round in circles.."

Rory usually could explain,but maybe it was because it was close to home..this time. Taking a breath.

"Clara,honey, remember last week when I told you about Will and his,wife coming to look at John's flat?"

Clara nodded.

"Well on Sunday when we were out with the kids in South End we met him..and his wife again"

With a look to John,Rory carried on telling her what happened from meeting Will in the beach shop he had opened there,to Marie grabbing Daisy at the hotel where he and Amy took the two children for dinner.

He also told her about the nightmare Daisy had later,as well.

Clara was quiet until he finished then she said looking at John.

"You didn't tell me. Was this why you were in a mood yesterday before we left home?"

John didn't answer at first,the look on his face,she knew it was.

"I'm sorry,Clara"

John kneeling down,touching her face.

"I would have told you,but I was worried about your blood pressure"

Clara nodded knowing this to be true. Looking then at Rory who had moved over to sit in the other chair,so John could sit on the arm of the chair. He was holding her hand.

"So what now? He can't take her away,you said so,but he wants to see her_ right?"_

"Well,he could ask for access"

Rory rubbing at the back of his head,looking at the couple.

"But with what his wife did at the hotel later_I'm sorry about that Clara" He said.

"I should have called the police"

"Daisy is alright,that's all that matters,I know you both had the best intentions,but I don't want things kept from me,especially by you"

Clara,squeezing John's hand.

John nodded.

"Until we see Will on Monday,find out what he wants,there is not much we can do"

Rory said then.

"His wife" Clara,asked.

"You think she was trying to kidnap Daisy?"

John looked to Rory,then back to his,fiancee.

"Rory seems,to think she might have tried to,but is not sure.

She is also seeing Dr Barclay,Perhaps for reasons like mine"

"Wwhat,how do you know she is,seeing him!?"_

Clara eyes wide at the revelations that were coming out.

John telling her that she was there just before his last session with the Doctor,but he couldn't tell them why.

Rory saying.

"Clara,there was a bruise on Daisy's arm,I took photos of it,just in case"_

"She hurt my child!"

Clara started up from the chair. John stopping her.

"Sweetheart,the bruise is,fading and she has had no nightmares since the one Sunday night"

Taking Clara's face in his hands.

Kissed her.

"I_We will sort this..Nothing is going to happen to Daisy_right?"

Rory looking at the couple in front of him.

'I will sort this'

He thought.

"We are going to see Will on Monday,so until then,how about we forget him for now? Enjoy the rest of the weekend"

"Hey you get to meet Dad"

John said.

"I can't wait for him to meet you and Daisy,and of course Tom"

With a look to Rory..Hugging Clara to him.

"Its like everything is coming right..I'm getting the family I want..at last"

Clara glancing at Rory over John's shoulder..hoped so..She also didn't want to ruin the good mood he was in.

'Yes..John and Rory would sort it all out'

Next Chapter

Family party..Brian arrives..

John wants to talk to him..so does Rory..about the past.

Will more revelations come out?


End file.
